The Emotionless Shadow
by InspiredInTheMoment
Summary: Renesmee Cullen, almost fully grown decides to escape from everything she knows and flees to the one place her perents wont expect, where she meets the most unlikely person she'd come to love. Full Fanfic. Please R&R. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1: The Runaway

**The Emotionless Shadow**

**By: InspiredInTheMoment**

**Chapter 1: The Runaway**

I had never been to Italy. I'd heard stories, seen some pictures, learned about the culture from school and though at times I felt that the Volturi played a huge role in my existence, I never really gave it a second thought about just how much. Yet somehow here I am, on this huge plane with a minimum of 10 full-blood humans aboard it. Why am I running away from my beloved family, why in God's green earth would I go to Italy?

Well, to the second question, I'm unsure. A part of me thinks that it's the only place to run, the only place that would allow me to stay. If I go to my Grandpa Charlie's, he'll just send me back; same goes for Grandma Renee. I could trust no one in my family. So when planning this jailbreak, I could only think of one person who would use my stay to his advantage. The Volturi leader, Aro.

He was a man, by all means. Someone who craved the power of other vampires to build upon his empire. My Grandfather Carlisle had first came to them to adjust to the life of an immortal, though it only ended with him disgusted with their choice of food.

I know it sounds as if I have never met them before, that I'm running to some strangers home and welcoming myself to stay for however long, when really I have. Met them I mean.

Of course it was years ago but I can remember as if it were yesterday, so crystal in my mind that I feel as if I'm replaying it now in my head as the plane takes off.

Their faces, so inhumanly beautiful and pale with their red eyes smoldering at me. I was scared for my life, and because of that feeling I tried not to think of that coven. My Grandpa Carlisle thought highly of them because of their kindness, and because of that compassion I blocked out my worries as to what I was doing. I concentrated on bigger matters such as Jacob Black and his need to push our relationship into the next level, something that I didn't feel we should do so soon.

I loved him. Sure, he was everything I needed and more, protective and charming. And if I had to choose someone to trust, Jacob would be the one, I guess. I mean, I couldn't tell everything to my dad and mom could I, what kind of teenager would I be? Not that Dad couldn't already know my thoughts. It's just that, Jacob Black has _always _been there and even if I tried hard enough, even if I forced myself to even think the thought, I don't think my emotions will ever live up to his own. And Jacob needs someone that's well…. Not me.

I always knew I was Imprinted on. The topic was never short of discussion around my house, what with my Aunt Rose's complaints about Jacob and Uncle Emmett's wisecracks about how Jacob's growing up with me. It's just something you learn to pick up along the way. Did I except it? I guess I had no choice or rather I didn't know I did. It was expected of me, to one day find that my emotions for Jacob would turned romantic. I guess I'm still waiting while everyone had assumed I would. I'm running away for a purpose. It was a accident, really. To hear my future planed out before by my own family; I was walking into my mother's room when suddenly I heard the sentence.

"Renesmee and Jacob's wedding will be lovely one day. Of course, I already have it planned for when it happens."

Coming from my own Aunt Alice's mouth which was smiling at the thought. She was talking to my mother, and I don't know what led them to start talking about that, but I knew that then and there. I had to get out. Out of Forks, out Washington. Out of America.

It just suddenly hit me, my life was being planned before my eyes behind my back, and I didn't know what to do, or how to process it. Was I really to be led down the aisle, on my fathers arm to Jacob Black, did I really want that? Some part of me knew he would take care of me, he would love me. But would I be able to love him in return, could I be what he needed me to be? Who am I without Jacob Black? I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out, why I'm flying thousands of miles away from home, not telling a soul. I was going to try and figure out who I am as a person, on my own, as a being. Without the love and support of my family, without my fathers wisdom and my mothers encouragement, or my Uncle Emmett's amusing jokes. Because if I had those around me, it would be like I'm not deciding for myself. It would be like judging my decisions based on what they thought, and I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings, least of all Jacob's.

So here I am, on a plane, on my way to the Volturi. I knew Aro would allow me to stay with them. In fact he would probably be so pleased he would hug me…unless I didn't want him to.

All I had to my name at the moment, was an old grey hoodie with the number 6 printed on its left pocket, a black tank top underneath, -because I was going for comfort- jeans and a duffle bag full of clothes that only took me ten minutes to pack. I had little time to think this through but I knew what time to leave. My family was out hunting while I pretended to sleep. I knew I was safe, because Alice couldn't see me, for reasons we still didn't entirely understand. Not that it mattered, I was glad. I was getting out of there.

My plane ride was quiet. I slept most of the time, dreaming about how my parents would react when they saw me gone. I could see it now, my father coming to check on me as he usually did, not hearing a single thought coming out of my room. He panics, tells my mother, and she panics even more. Then I see my Uncle Emmett cussing, which alarms Jake, and he throws fits everywhere, fighting with Leah and snapping at Seth, insulting Aunt Rose, saying it was all her fault. Then Uncle Jasper calms everyone.

Of course, I didn't leave without a letter. I wouldn't do that to them, not even saying goodbye. I explained that I couldn't deal with my future being planned for me, and I had to figure out some things on my own. I didn't tell them where I was going, but I told them that I would call them as soon as I got there. Knowing my family, and their past with the Volturi, they would think I'm insane…I probably am.

I don't know what time it was when I arrived in Florence, but it was late, and it was dark. My eyes felt like they were going to dry up and fall out of there sockets. But I was awakened by the planes landing.

I grabbed a cab, who I was hoping would know how to get to Volturra from here and paid him with money I borrowed from Carlisle. He wouldn't notice, besides I'm his favorite granddaughter. I know he wouldn't be too pleased when he did find out, but I will pay him back eventually.

So I handed my driver a fifty, hoping that would be enough. I don't know how it is for Italy, but fifty is a big chunk of change for me. I hated to let it go. Blame Seth for my cheapness, the guy constantly asks me for money. Thinking of him made me miss my family already, but I had to move forward.

The car ride seemed to take forever, but eventually I was the beautiful city of Volerra peaking through.

It was magnificent. The streets and the buildings, you could definitely tell they were old. But they were memorizing, even in the dark.

It took me a couple of moments to realize I wasn't here to enjoy the sights. Now, my mission was to find where the heck the Volturi were.

I had to find something that looked mysterious and out of place, I mean how hard could it be to find a coven of Vampires? Dad said they were usually in cloaks, and from what I remember, there were a lot of them.

So we drove around the town for about half an hour, and suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw a shadowy figure in the ally, cloaked from head to toe in black. I immediately told the cabbie to stop so I could get a better look, though he didn't speak English. I just motioned him with my hand to stop. I peered out of the window to get a better look.

_It can't be this easy._

But there they were. I didn't think it would be this quick, I thought I would be driving around forever until I fell tired and crashed at a hotel. But this looked promising, and it was night.

Worst case scenario, they were a bunch of rapists, and I could take care of myself. I think. I had never actually killed a human before, but if I needed to, I would.

I got out and started walking toward the ally, into the shadows near where they were standing. There were two of them, standing there talking amongst themselves.

I quickly looked around and decided now was as good of a time as any. If I was wrong, I would run for my life and I knew I could outrun them. And deep inside me, I knew I was scared. My heart was pounding really fast, even for me.

"Hey, you with the cloaks, are you the Voltur-" I didn't manage to get the rest of the sentence out before one of them jumped me without me even realizing it. I couldn't see his face really well, but I could see his eyes were glowing red. Yep, I'd found the Vampires, I just didn't know if I had found the right Vampires.

All I could see, was that he was big. He reminded me of Uncle Emmett, buff. That's all I could really make out, seeing as he was really close to my face, his teeth ready to attack.

"I guess I said something wrong? Because your like really up in my grill! Personal space, yeah?" I squealed, holding my hands over my face protectively, my heart dropping.

This was it, this was how I was going to die in Italy. I didn't get to say goodbye to my dad, my mom, Rose. I would never lose an arm wrestle to Emmett ever again! No shopping with Alice, no more getting the fuzzies from Uncle Jazz. Say goodbye to playing fetch with Jake ever again! Not that I ever did it the first place…. Much.

"Can we make this quick? It really wasn't on my agenda to die painfully!" I yelped, squinting my eyes so I didn't have to see as he got closer and closer to me.

Then, suddenly as I was about to see the bright light, I heard a voice that reminded me of a knight, coming to save me. Okay, not really. I mean Leah Clearwater would sound like angel in this situation, and that was saying something.

"Felix!" The voice hollered, as I heard footsteps drifting near on the pavement. I looked up to see my hero, and saw smoldering red eyes that made me feel as if I couldn't breath and yet at the same time looked like demon eyes. But yet his angelic face calmed me.

Felix got up instantly, as if this guy was the boss.

I stayed frozen then, not sure what to do or say. I was too afraid at this point, I just got jumped by a huge Vamp, ready to eat!

The younger one who saved me looked about my age. He had dark brown hair that lay across his brow, pale skin as any normal vampire, and eyes that burned red with intensity that seemed to look through me. In fact, it sent chills down my spine.

Then, again out of nowhere, the guy who I assumed was Felix, grabbed me by the wrist and lifted me off the ground with one arm. My feet were dangling in the air, and pain was shooting right into my wrist, feeling as though he was crushing my bones. He probably was.

"This one-" He hissed, his voice filled with disgust, "-knows of our kind. Should we take care of her now, or bring her to Aro?"

I was right, the young one was the boss. And I had indeed found the Volturi, which was a shocker for me because it was so easy! Either that or this was one scary ass dream!

Still dangling in the air, wincing with pain, the younger one stepped closer, tilting my jaw and studying my face, turning it. His skin was of course freezing cold! But his eyes were what made me catch my breath, his eyes were passionate, so passionate that it made me unable to breath. And my heart, once again, was going faster than usual. I knew he could hear, which only made me blush. Something I inherited from my mother, and I think he knew, because as soon as I blushed, he smirked an annoying grin that made me turn to goo.

"Ah, Miss Cullen. I must say, you're the last person I expected to see in this decade. You're a long way from home, aren't you?" He said in an amused tone, glancing from me to Felix. "My, Felix. Has your memory suffered so much you forgot about the few half-breeds in the world?"

"Well, can he remember soon because this is really starting to hurt!"

Felix dropped me, and I fell straight on my feet. I then picked up my bag that had been flung over a few feet away.

"So, I take it you're part of the Volt-"

I couldn't even finish out the words, or even blink, because the younger one was suddenly right in front of me. Literally. His hand pressed against my lips, making my heart catch. Damn my heart, gave everything away. And if it wasn't for the fact that he was touching me, it was his voice, low and lethal and rough as he whispered to me.

"You should not speak that word very loudly, Miss Cullen. There are humans about." His face drew closer to make sure I got the point.

_Point defiantly taken. _

I don't know why, I don't even know who he was, but I suddenly wanted to jump him. Which was wrong on so many levels! He was obviously part of the Volturi Guard, a high one at that! But why did he have to be so gorgeous? Not only that, but the intimidating thing kinda got me off. One thing's for sure, I never felt this around Jake.

My knees were going to give in, I knew it. Any second now, three, two-

"Come with me." He said, gesturing me with his long fingers that glowed in the moon, still standing dangerously close to me. And then he turned around unfortunately and started walking.

I followed him obediently and Felix was right behind me, his face looking down as if he was guilty. And then he spoke in a cheerful voice, that surprised me.

"Sorry I tried to kill you. Didn't know you were Bella's kid." He said jokingly, smiling lightly.

I patted him on the back.

"No problem. All is forgiven, these things just happen right?"

_It happens to me at least._

Felix shrugged. I take it he has killed many people by the way he jumped me in the ally. I had the feeling he didn't even really want to feed on me, just to kill me for knowing too much, which just scared me a little.

Following the younger vampire, I was beginning to feel a little worried. A part of me would follow him though the end of the earth if he wanted me too, which was wrong seeing as how I just met him, but I couldn't help it. I'm a girl and he's well…_Alluring. _

Plus, if there was one thing I knew about the Volturi it was they were old. Very, very old. So imagine my shock to find one looking so young, and attractive such as him, when in reality, he was older then my father.

Probably older than Carlisle. Ew.

Then again, my less noble side is kicking in and was thinking age is just a number. Especially when considering vampires.

I was beginning to wondering if the attractive one was just leading me out in the middle of nowhere when he came to a halt. His body became a mere shadow in the darkness. I blinked once, confused when suddenly he had disappeared.

"What the-"

"Come, Miss Cullen," I heard him say in a impatient tone, as if he were speaking to a five year old. "You have to jump down." He said, sounding a little bit sarcastic. Felix began to push me forward. I looked down to see where the younger one had vanished to but saw nothing below. It was all black; I didn't even see the hole because it was so dark.

"You want me to do what now?" I yelled into the dark, resisting Felix's encouragement.

"Jump, with your legs. If you'd like I could catch you." He called, a smile in his voice as if I had no abilities of my own, which only frustrated me. Closing my eyes I counted back from three and I jumped without warning him.

I felt like my stomach was going through my lungs as I fell. The deeper I went the more my stomach gave a fluttering feeling. The fall wasn't very long, his hands were around my waist within seconds and his nose was basically touching mine as I wrapped my arms around him for support.

As soon as our eyes linked, his scent went into my nose. So divine and celestial, manly but sweet that made my knees start to wobble. I wanted to stay there forever, but reality

took over and kicked me in the gut, because I realized I didn't need this, not now anyway.

"What is your name?" I whispered, my throat wasn't allowing air to past though, but I didn't care. I had to know his name. He seemed so familiar yet foreign to me. As I awaited his answer all I could see was a smirk forming at his lips.

"Guess." He whispered, taking a step back, as if he was returning to his old mature self.

I really hated this game. There's only like a billion possible names in the world and he wanted me to guess one? Crap.

"Well, you obviously strike me as someone who doesn't have a normal name. No offense."

I walked forward to allow Felix to jump though the entrance. I then heard amusement in this stranger's voice.

"You're one to talk…_Renesmee._"

Just the sound of my name rolling off his tongue sent chills down my spine. I had to stop walking or else I was going to fall on my face.

"Clever, really clever. But how come you get to know my name but I can't know yours?" I asked, my hands on my hips, shifting my weight as I glared at him. Suddenly he was in my face again, his breath cold and against my skin. How can a undead person make me feel this way so soon? I felt anger and sensual all at once and it was driving me insane; making my head spin. He was just playing with me and I knew it. I loved and hated it, and I think he knew that.

"You have yet to guess."

"Well, I know you're not Aro. He has a face to remember, where as yours? Not so much."

The smirk grew wider on his face at my insult.

I started running though the names that I knew of the Volturi. One by one, they just didn't seem to fit him. One thing's for sure, I could cross out the women. I hope.

"Demetri?"

"Strike one." He said, holding his pinky out as if it was to help him count. Poor guy.

"Marcus?"

"Definitely strike two on that one."

"Well, you're not Jane."

A smile crept up on his face. Was I wrong?

I started to panic a little. I mean, I didn't know any boys named Jane, but this was a different country and I didn't really know the customs. Besides, my dad always told me stories about Jane. How truly vial she was; she clearly enjoyed pain and bringing it to others. Which made me wonder why did he enjoy this private joke of his? Suddenly he stepped closer to my face, allowing me to breathe in his scent once more. It was stronger this time as his eyes blazed with delight.

"Warmer."

Oh gosh. Who the hell was he?

My head was starting to hurt, trying to figure him out when I heard a somewhat cough from behind me.

Felix choked out a name that was clear as day, and I froze.

"Alec? Your name is Alec, as in Jane's Alec?" I whispered, my voice giving away my fear as I hissed uncontrollably. Alec glared in Felix's direction and looked at me dead in the eye as Felix walked a little ahead of us.

"You've heard of me, I imagine."

I nodded not saying anything. I tried not to look him in the eyes because if I did I would be looking into the eyes of one of the most dangerous vampires in the world. I think he took pleasure in that, me being scared, so I had to stay strong.

After a while I was beginning to think this was a good thing. Him being Alec and me being well, me. It would just add to this list of reasons him and I couldn't work out.

God, I was pathetic. I shouldn't even be considering the possibility of us, much less making a _list. _

As soon as we hit the main entrance of the of the Volturi's lair I suddenly felt scared and angry. He was playing me so much, knowing who he was and everything. I was huge joke to he and Felix, who I thought could be my friend somewhat. He was like my own personal Emmett from home, or maybe an Alice, depending on how to look at it.

Thinking about them made me wonder what they were doing now. Were they tracking me? They probably got as far as the airport and that was it. I missed them dearly.

Walking through the doors, I felt all eyes on me as we entered. I wasn't expected but the look on Aro's face when I followed Alec in gave me the clue that not only did he remember me but he was happy to see me.

_Shit._

"_Renesmee Carlie Cullen._ It's certainly a surprise to see you here."

His face was lit up with a smile, really making me wish I was home.

* * *

**Writer's Note: We know this is a cracked out pairing that will never happen, but we love them! Please read and review! We'd love you hear your feedback!**

**~IITM**


	2. Chapter 2: It was only a Touch

**Chapter 2: It was only a Touch**

**Alec's POV**

This night was one huge inconvenience. Felix and I were out in the alley, just talking as we would every night, but things changed when I heard footsteps coming toward us. Even in the dark shadows of the night, I could see her clear as day. Not that I went out into daytime much.

From first glace you would think she was a measly ole' human, but at second glace you could see she was different. See, hear and smell the difference. She was not all human, not all vampire either. Her heartbeat was rapid, beating faster than any other heart I'd ever heard before. Her eyes were chocolate brown and warm, which stood out against her pale skin, pale skin like ours but not nearly as cold. In fact, even when I wasn't even touching her, I felt the warmth of her body radiate against me. She stood about 5'5, her lips full and captivating. So captivating when I studied her face close up, I had to contain myself over the need to touch them.

The need was so powerful that it nearly knocked me off my own feet. I am ashamed to admit this, even to myself, but from the second of our interactions I had the morality of a hunter. She was prey, delicious and tempting. Her hair was in a pony-tail, normal humans usually did that when they just didn't care, but it looked good on her.

Bronze colored ringlets were framing her face. I could tell by her body language that she felt the same need as I, and it awakened sensations in me that I didn't expect, causing a burning pain in my throat as if I hadn't fed in weeks. When I pressed my fingers to her mouth, a part of it was to hush her, the less mature side of me wanted to know what her skin felt like underneath my fingertips. I could see surprise in her eyes when I did so, the surprise look turned into arousal before my own eyes; which in the end scared me. Was I the prey now, had I crossed a line? Probably, and all this was happening before a witness. I heard a chuckle from Felix at my and the girl's interactions.

Her name? Renesmee Cullen. She was a well known figure in our world. Daughter of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, or rather Cullen now.

She was half _human._ Unnatural, not right, but it happened just the same. I remember when we first found out, going all the way to the little town of Forks, ready for battle. We knew we would have won, had we fought at all. But we didn't, for they had brought many other vampires with them to stall us; how clever of them.

They explained to Aro what she was, and that she was no threat to our kind. I didn't know what to believe at the time, and to be honest I hadn't thought much of Renesmee since. The clearest memory I had of that day was when Jane was not content at all by our sudden leave. She was so looking forward to killing off the Cullen Coven once and for all; especially Bella, she detests her. That day, I think Jane would have taken any reason to take them down, Renesmee just happened to be a good purpose for us.

I had to hold her back, for she was going to physically attack Renesmee and her mother! Aro would not have been pleased for that outbreak. And that's what my mental thought was at the time. But now as Renesmee stood before Aro, who is welcoming her with open arms, I felt an emotion I had never felt before, or at least one that I haven't felt since my human years. I really want to remember any of it, human memories are a waist of vampire's time. They were not needed and I did not welcome them.

I will not lie, Renesmee looked quite beautiful standing there, close to me. She had an elegant grace about her, which disturbed me to no end. Sure, I showed signs of flirtation, but I wasn't going to lie to myself and say it was just to see how far I could take it and how much she would eat it all up. Which she did, of course. It would amuse me to no end, at the memory of the expression on her face when she found out who I was. She feared me now, as she should. I'm not her friend and neither is the rest of the Volturi, she should know that now, she doesn't belong here. But Aro, as I said before, was more than thrilled to see her.

"_Renesmee Carlie Cullen." _He cooed to her, a sound that made me want to throw up human food. "It's certainly a surprise to see you here."

I glanced at Renesmee, I could sense tension in her body as she stood next to me. Her hands were shaking slightly, and I could hear her gulp.

She wouldn't last here a week. I could tell by the way she looked at him that she was frightened by him. My guess as to why was from the last time they had encountered, when Aro tried to kill her and those of her family. I suppose I couldn't blame her, but if she thought he was scary, I couldn't wait until she met my sister. Even I would run for the hills if I were her, though I loved my sister dearly.

And while I yearned for her in ways that could probably get me killed, I had to wonder.

Why she would come here? Why would a half-breed _Cullen _risk everything to see Aro, and the rest of the Volturi? Had her family not educated her enough? I thought surly Carlisle would have warned her, at least. But apparently she was stubborn, and she needed to be taught the lesson. This was not a wise decision on her part.

I had expected Aro to welcome her politely, and then call her parents to take care of this problem. But then again, Renesmee was one of a kind, a powerful being. I knew how his clock ticked, I could already see the wheels in his head turning, the welcoming mat was basically brought out before her feet. It was so like him.

"Ah, my dear Renesmee. You certainly have grown!" Aro exclaimed, grinning broadly as he got up out of his chair and walked towards her. He lifted his welcoming arms towards her, as if waiting for a hug, for which she did not accept.

_Idiotic child._

"Hello, Aro. You look…the same." I could hear humor in her voice, that made me smirk. Of course he looked the same, we were immortal, the true bloods. The real vampires in this world. Where as she was most certainly not, and she shouldn't be treated as such. Though I did think impure thoughts before, I realize now I shouldn't allow myself to get in too deep with a Cullen. I shouldn't even think the thought, because the bottom line was I should be disgusted. Even now as I thought about our encounter I felt sick.

I heard laughter escape from Aro's lips at Renesmee's compliment which made everyone around relax some. I was thankful for that.

"Mm, well done Alec. I am quite pleased." He addressed me in a proud manner, looking back at Renesmee. His features then became puzzled.

"Not that I'm not thrilled at your sudden arrival, dear child, but what brings you here? Have you decided to join our coven after all?"

His voice was filled with hope, and for that I cringed. How moronic of him to think she'd chose him over her family. I knew the Cullen's well. Family came first, but a part of me did wonder if the reason she came here was to join us. Did I want her too? I think not. Maybe deep inside me, the part that was still in the alley did. But I knew better. I had duties and Renesmee would be a distraction.

"Oh no, no. I- I left for personal reasons. I just came here to get away? If that's okay with you?" She asked, brushing her hair behind her ear, even in this lighting she looked lovely. Her cheeks were turning slightly pink out of her nervousness.

_You stupid, stupid kid!_

I wanted to scream. Had she really come this far -not only being a extreme inconvenience, but also sidetracking me- because she didn't get her way? Spoiled rotten infant. Causing me this much sexual frustration because her mother refused to give her the record player she had begged for.

This is absurd! She was wasting our time and causing annoyance to us all! Aro had to have some common sense here! She didn't want to join us, she wanted to use us as a vacation spot! Of course, I didn't have anything to worry about. Aro knows when to push and when not too.

"Of course it is. I'm sure Alec will be pleased to show you to your chambers."

Or not.

Apparently, my judgment in Aro was higher than needed, for he was willing to give her anything she desired. He was allowing this place to be her own personal playground and for what reason? She had no intention of raising our power, in fact she was hindering it, a ink spot on a white piece of paper. I could handle her being here if it was a gain on our end, but for her to be here just because was driving me mad. How long did she plan on taking advantage of us? Days, weeks or worst_, months?_

My body wouldn't be able to handle that. I could remain professional before but now? It would be almost impossible.

Suddenly thinking this, and how much it angered me, I realized I hadn't answered him.

He called my name, why?

"Aro, please…" I stepped up to the throne, my voice in a whisper so that Renesmee couldn't hear, though I knew it was pointless. "Please think before considering this distraction."

Aro shook his head, and raised his hand to stop me. Caius then spoke.

"Listen to the boy, Aro. He might actually have a point." Caius slurred, sending death glares towards Renesmee.

"I do not care if it distresses you, Alec. Nor do I care of your concerns, Caius. Alec will show Renesmee to her chambers, with hospitality. That will make me proud. Right, Alec?" He said, raising his eyebrow at me with a poisonous scowl.

There was the reasoning with him. As I slowly nodded in defeat, Aro gently reached over and squeezed my hand in encouragement. As soon as our skin made contact, Aro's eyes widened in realization. He was no longer looking at me, but though me. Reading me, listening to my _every _thought since Renesmee's arrival.

_Oh no._

"Aro…" I said, his name sounding like a plead. I wanted him to understand that I had no intentions of continuing the earlier behavior with the half-breed. For I knew he saw everything within my mind, even feeling it. Every corner of my thoughts were in his head, racing though his veins. I was horrified for what would come next. I mean, Aro had witnessed everything. My need to touch her lips, my erections, it all was there. I thought I was lucky that Renesmee didn't notice them, for I'm sure she was to busy with her own emotions to even be concerned with mine, but now? I had much bigger problems.

I looked at Renesmee to see if she caught on to my and Aro's awkwardness but a puzzling look was found on her beautiful face.

"Aro?" I asked, searching for a reaction. This had to be the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me. I thank God Jane wasn't here at the present moment. Though I didn't know where she was, I didn't care.

I looked meekly at Aro, but he showed no eye contact to me. His face looked as though he was forming a plan. A deadly, deadly plan.

"Ar-"

"Bring Renesmee to her chambers, Alec. Show her where she will be sleeping, _alone_. And then report back to me. We'll be sending dinner to her room as I'm sure she is _exhausted._"

I don't why, the way he said the words 'alone' and 'exhausted' made me panic. I'm sure if I could sweat, I would be soaked head to toe. Giving Aro my final nod, I slowly stomped towards Renesmee. Without really thinking about it, I bumped her shoulder with mine as I passed, people now and days called it 'body checking.' I only really did it to show everyone in the room that she meant nothing! But I guess my body said otherwise, because when I touched her, I instantly felt that fire again.

She grunted slightly, offended. And I heard someone clear their throat from behind. Who would be making such an annoying sound? We're vampires.

I turned around and saw Marcus giving me an annoying smirk. And it suddenly hit me like a train. He could sense relationships, he could sense the sexual tension.

_Could my mind and body be more violated?_

I looked from him to Felix, who was obviously trying not to laugh. How he knew, I didn't know, but everyone else knew so why wouldn't he? There were no secrets here.

I gave Renesmee a quick glare, and instructed her to follow me. I assumed she needed to be told what to do, considering she was a adolescent. She still look confused, but obeyed.

We walked down a wide hallway, and I walked a pace ahead of her, trying not to think about the previous events that had taken place.

"So, what was that awkward moment with you and Aro all about?" She asked out of the blue, sounding curious.

"That's not really any of your concern, now is it?" I snapped back.

I hated her now. She was making me feel like a _human!_ It was disgusting and made me seem weak in front of Aro and my coven family. I would not be made a mockery to them. I imagined now Aro was sharing a laugh with them all. I was a joke. I was _never _a joke.

Then suddenly I could feel it, my own ability was beginning to come out uncontrollably.

Stupid emotions.

I could hear her pace slowing, and I turned around to see if she was still following me, but she only looked confused and a little scared. My mist, very faint as it was at the moment, pooled around us.

Oh no.

"Renesmee?" I asked urgently. Like I needed this to be added to my list of failures.

She tilted her head a little, and looked as thought she couldn't hear me.

I groaned, and concentrated on taking it away. After a couple of moments the air cleared.

She then blinked and glared at me.

"You did _not-"_

"Count your blessings that was all I took." I interrupted, and started walking again, this time faster so she would have to jog to catch up. Served her right. It's not like I had any control of it, it just happened!

"You know, I don't remember reading in the brochure that there was an exercise course involved! So would you mind slowing down a little?" She complained.

I turned around abruptly so fast she almost ran into me, and I glared at her. She glared back, her chocolate brown eyes angry, but still beautiful. How could someone so annoying be so lovely? She made me want to pull my hair out. The tension between us sent chills through me, and I knew she felt it too. But I had to push that aside and focus on the big picture; which was her being naïve.

"Just so we're clear, there would be no brochures here because we're not a holiday destination. I'm not sure what you had in mind when you decided to come here, but whatever it was, you were wrong. You're only welcomed here because Aro, for some reason, wishes it. If it were up to me, you would be on a plane back to America, or dead. Whichever would be the fastest."

I heard her take in a breath, and I felt venom swell in my mouth. Her warm brown eyes were now furious and livid. Her pulse quickened even faster than before, and she even pulled her teeth back a little, like she was about to attack me.

"Your point is made clear, _Alec._" She hissed through her teeth.

"Good."

I swiftly turned and started walking again, and after what seemed an eternity, we reached her room.

She stepped in front of me, opened the door and walked inside. I tried to see her expression on what she thought of the room, but I didn't get a chance to.

"This is where you'll-"

She cut me off by slamming the door, hard, in my face. It was so fast my hair blew back.

"Enjoy your stay, _Miss Cullen." _I called in a sarcastic tone, rolling my eyes as I walked back down the hall.

Before I could get to the main hall, I heard familiar footsteps walking up behind me. I didn't have time for this, I had to speak with Aro.

"Jane…my loving sister, didn't Mother always tell you not to eavesdrop?" I called out, not turning around.

My twin sister stood a little shorter than me, her hair was long and blond, though she usually kept it up and out of her face so she could concentrate on whoever she was torturing. Her lips were fuller than mine, and obviously she was more feminine than I. But our features were alike, eyes, nose, and for the most part our personality. Except she liked to cause people pain a little more than I did, not that I couldn't. But still, it was her specialty.

She stepped in front of me and gave me a air kiss on the cheek, as we usually did when we greeted one another.

"You've been gone a long time. Aro said you've brought me a toy to play with, but apparently you've been enjoying her without me. Whatever happened to sharing?" She would have sounded innocent to the blind, but I knew her all too well. Her intentions were devious, and she indeed planned on playing with Renesmee. The idea sickened me, though I didn't know why. Me, above all others, had the right to torture that girl. And I understood Jane like no other, after all, she was the only family I truly had.

"I only roughed her up a little for your enjoyment, Sister. Do you not approve?"

"Oh, but see, I wanted her all to myself. Torture and kill, its so…fun."

"Maybe next time." I answered her, preparing to start walking again. Aro needed me quickly. I really was in hot water.

I took a couple steps forward, but then I felt Jane's hand on my shoulder, I stopped. She began to walk slowly in circles around me, her hands behind her back and grin to her face. This could only mean she was brewing up a plan to destroy, because Jane didn't smile often.

I eyed her, as she giggled.

"Oh, Brother, I am but a genius! You brought us a game!" Her voice was so childlike, it scared me, because normally her games didn't include Monopoly.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. I really was pressing for time, she needed to make this quick. Because the longer I was away, the more Aro was going to get suspicious about what I was doing, or who I was doing it with. Not that he needed to worry about that, I'm sure my needs were cut short by my rudeness to her. The fact was, I really didn't want Felix watching me to make sure that I didn't go near Renesmee. How embarrassing.

"Well, you don't like her, do you?"

I glared at her for even asking.

"Good. Because I want you to make her run away from here, I'm sure that wouldn't be difficult right? Make her hate you and this place so much that she wont be able to take it anymore. I want her alone, far away from the Volturi, so that Aro wont get all sentimental. And then I could track her down and torture her. Sound like fun?" She asked, clapping her hands together and grinning with joy at the thought. I swear, if Jane ever died, there would be no pearly white gates for her. Although she did raise an interesting plan. As long as the girl was away from here, I didn't care what she did to her. Or at least, I'll just block out the thought. I would really hate to get Jane on my bad side.

"I'll see what I can do." I replied, stepping out of Jane's circle.

It took me a while to get back to the throne room, even when I was running. We didn't use the rooms with the beds often, if ever.

I stepped back in the room, and suddenly felt everyone's face on me; the pressure building, all on me. I felt very scared for the first time in a very long time. I was dead, I knew it. They were going to rip my head off and burn my body parts, I wouldn't resist. I deserved to be punished, for feeling so human with a half-breed! On a lighter note, maybe Jane's plans wouldn't work out, due to my death.

Walking closer to Aro, I bowed my head in shame before him, waiting for him to snap his fingers and send a couple of guards over. Okay, deep down, I knew I wasn't going to die. However, I knew I was going to be punished. They just didn't let this kind of think slip.

I kept waiting for something, but I only heard a chuckle. I peeked up a glance at Aro, and he was only grinning at me, pleased with himself.

"Master?" I asked, confused.

"My boy, you have an important mission on your hands. As you know, I want Renesmee to be apart of this coven. You alone, are going to make that happen." Aro said, looking at Caius and Marcus for approval. They both nodded once, though Caius' was hesitant.

"And how do I do that?"

"All things necessary, Alec. It is quite simple." His smile went ear to ear, and I froze.

"Seduce her."

_Well, this might put a damper on Jane's plans…_

* * *

**Writers Note: Thank you to all that reviewed****! This chapter was really fun to write! Reviews are always appreciated! :)**

**~IITM**


	3. Chapter 3: Three Simple Questions

**Chapter 3: Three Simple Questions**

**Renesmee's POV**

I was very wrong about Alec. He was not only a tease, he was also a self absorbed prick who didn't get enough severe whippings as a child. He was completely out of line! Not to mention rude, and self centered! I could go on and on, but long story short he was a nobody who was going to spend his eternal life alone and bitter while he sucks up to Aro, fulfilling his every wish like the lap dog that he was.

He should go grow some balls. If he thought that he was important to Aro and the rest of the Volturi he was wrong. He was nothing but a prop, a sheer shadow in their eyes. It disgusted me, how he would let them walk all over him, when he clearly, deep down had a mind of his own. Because he didn't have a problem flirting with me to no end when Aro wasn't present; which made me wonder if he was bipolar. Can vampires have that? If they could, I was sure he had it. He needed to get some medication.

Although, I'm thrilled to see the room that Aro had arranged for me was exquisite, like every girls dream room, only better. My king sized bed had a gorgeous frame made of mahogany wood, it looked like it was handmade and expensive. It had flower carvings in it and it made me wonder who did it. It also had a canopy over it, red material draping over the ends. The comforter was dark crimson, and made of silk. It just looked really, really comfortable, like I could just crawl in and forget everything else. The dresser that stood in the corner matched the carvings of the wood from the bed. The room itself was about the size of the little house me and my parents live in. The walls were also a dark red, which made the room look dim and slightly romantic.

This was the kind of room that people would want for their honeymoon, it made me wonder why Aro had chosen this one for me. The thought instantly made me shutter. I don't want to know what goes through that man's head.

But if this extravagant room wasn't enough, there was a enormous bathroom to match it! With a vanity table, a tub that looked more like a Jacuzzi that had stairs leading up to it, stone tiling and giant mirrors. The walls were a cream color, and candles sat around the tub and on the counters. I loved this bathroom, the tub itself looks like a pool. I couldn't wait to soak myself in it, with the perfumed bubble bath I saw laying by it. I looked cloer to see the scent was lavender.

The ceiling had an arch to it, which made the massive bathroom look even bigger. I was in paradise. There was no way I was ever leaving this room again!

I simply couldn't help myself, I ran towards the bed and jumped on it, squealing in the process. My hair fell out of its ponytail, and was laying across the smooth fabric. I ran my hands over it, grinning with happiness.

Because of my squealing with joy, I didn't notice that my new least favorite person in the world had walked in, carrying a tray of food. His eyes narrowed at my 'childness' as he would probably call it.

Alec was staring at me, but not my face. I looked down to see that my hoodie and tank top had both risen up when I jumped. The realization made my heart pound against my chest, and my face burn in embarrassment. My entire waist was visible, and he didn't quite hide the fact that he was looking at it. The expression on his face that made my heart skip and my skin crawl. I hated him.

I stayed frozen, unsure of what to say, until I realized that moments had passed and he had said nothing. I guess I had to speak up first. Figures.

"What are you doing in here?" I snapped, quickly pulling down my shirt, and glared at him. I noticed two things: his eyes were still narrowing at my body, his lips parted. and his hair was a little more rough than before. I had to wonder why.

In other words, he looked drop dead gorgeous staring at me like that, his presence made me shiver uncontrollably. I tried to hide it but I couldn't, and I knew he could tell.

His eyes shifted back to my face, and he composed himself. He shook his head a bit as if he was coming out of a trance himself, but I doubted it. He wouldn't feel the same for me like that. His needs were only to feed, nothing else. So why did he look as though he was failing at something?

"Bringing you your food, as Aro suggested." He spoke in a distressed voice.

I got off the bed and looked over at the food he placed on a tiny table that had a couple chairs with it, hoping he didn't expect to join me. It was some kind of pasta, but I didn't know what kind. It looked good, but I wasn't craving it.

"Do you have something a little stronger, something that can actually satisfy me?"

His eyes widened as he stared at me in shock. He must have been thinking something else; taken what I said completely wrong. Dang it, we're never going to have natural thought around each other. As soon as we see each other our minds are going to go instantly to the gutter. Great, just perfect. "Do I have to come out and say it?" I snapped at him, raising my hands. He still looked utterly confused. My gosh, how old was he again? "Blood, Alec! I need blood!"

Realization finally seemed to grace him. He looked astonished, and if he could blush, I'm sure he would. He was after all, more than likely thinking pervy thoughts. I didn't know what led him to those thoughts, or if they were always just there, but I wish he wouldn't think them regardless. It was hard enough for me, and I didn't need him encouraging it. And plus, he was a total douche bag earlier. I'm surprised I didn't throw his butt out. But I found myself unable to kick him out. I just stood there, blushing in his presence. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hide my manner.

"My apologies, I didn't realize your cravings were so similar. I'll see what I can do tomorrow. In the meantime, you should eat…unless you don't eat human food at all?"

"I eat it, just not as much as your average human would. I much prefer something stronger, something with a kick." I said.

He walked around my room, studying it as if he had never been in here before, who knows, maybe he hadn't. At that moment, I wondered what his room looked like. I imagined it looked something like a lounge, maybe a couch but no bed. He probably had books upon books. After all, he was centuries old, wasn't he? That triggered a question in me, how old was he? I always wondered how old the Volturi were.

"Pardon me for asking, but what exactly do you feed on?" Alec questioned me, fixing a crooked painting on the wall with one finger. I swear his movements alone were sensual, just by doing that, and he wasn't even near me. My throat started to tighten at the thought of what if would be like to kiss him. I didn't know why I wondered that but I did. His cold lips closing in on mine, tugging eagerly. my hands finding his hair as I gripped lightly, and his hands around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

_Stop it, don't bring yourself to this level! He thinks you're beneath him; that you're abnormal. Why do you let yourself get this far? You don't even know him, and you don't want to! Ugh._

"Renesmee?" He asked again, his voice concerned. His eyes looked so innocent; thank God his eyes are red otherwise I would have forgot about who he was and what he did.

"Oh, what I feed on? Um, blood?"

He shook his head, that wasn't the answer he wanted. A smile appeared on his face now.

"No, no. I mean what do you thirst for, deep inside your core? If you had to choose what to feed on, what is it you desire most?" His voice was now deep and low as he walked towards me, his intimidating stare never leaving my face.

I blushed instantly, I'd never seen such an intense stare directed at me. Sure, I had seen it all the time from those around my family looking at their spouse', but it was never to me. Jacob never looked at me like that, and it's a good thing too. Because if he had, I would have gotten scared, but not in a good way.

With Alec's I felt heat all over my body, wetness in between my legs that I didn't even know I was able to produce. My palms were sweating, I was beginning to tremble. Damn, he was beautiful, but deadly. I have to remember the deadly part, but something about that deadliness made it all the more intriguing. I was going to die here, and I was going to do it with a smile on my face. What would my parents think of me now? At this moment, I was not their little girl. I was a hormonal woman ready to throw Alec on my bed and God knows what would happen after that.

I was thankful that Alec spoke, breaking my trance. But I was so fully aware of his closeness.

_What did he ask me again?_

"Right...I prefer human blood, of course. But-"

"But what? Don't you ever let loose? Fulfill your every craving, that _need_?"

Why did everything that came out of his mouth make me want to leap at him? Something about the way he said need just made my head spin. My knees were beginning to go weak, again. This was the second time he has made my knees want to go out since being here. I hope it was not becoming a habit.

"I have self control." I tried sounding strong, though I was failing miserably. It was what they call weak.

He inhaled deeply through his nose, not that he needed it.

"Self control is overrated. C'mon, _Nez_. Be honest. You want to go out now, into that alley-"

_Did he just call me Nez? What is that, a nickname?_

I tried not to like it.

"And break the laws, Alec? Surly someone of your stature in the Volturi Guard would know the risk? What happened to Volterra being the safest city in the world?" I really was shocked. I always thought that the laws were the most important thing to the Volturi, yet he was wanting me, Renesmee Cullen, to feed with him. Feed on humans; living, breathing humans. I couldn't see it.

"Rules are made to be broken…once in a while." He whispered.

He took my hand that had been laying on the table and massaged it with his middle finger and thumb, rubbing up and down, intertwining our fingers together as he tugged at them. They were cold and long and irresistible. The interaction was sending electric shivers down my spine. My body temperature went up as my heart stopped completely. I sucked in some air and bit my lip, looking up at him. He was looking back at me, watching me with a deep, powerful gaze.

What was he doing to me? I could feel every cell in my body reacting to his touch, and the need to touch him was hitting me like a brick, a wave of urges that I didn't even know existed within me. I wanted him so badly, in everyway physically possible.

I _needed _him.

"What are you doing?" My voice not my own, it was a sound I had never heard coming from my lips. It was breathless and filled with yearning.

"Testing your temperature…you're so _very _warm."

My eyes widened. I pulled my hand back and sat on the edge of the bed. If I hadn't sat down, I probably would've fainted. What happened to the prissy guy in the hallway, the one who threatened my life? Why was he all of the sudden so different now?

This wasn't just flirting like we were in the alley. This was foreplay. This was real, physical contact. This, was very scary. Because the longer he was in my room, the more my feelings for him magnified. And I didn't want that, this wasn't why I came here. I didn't want to be somebody's game, I wouldn't be. If he wanted to play it like this, he just picked the right partner.

Slowly but surly, I lifted my hoodie, making sure that every detail was present for him to see. I wasn't going to show everything, like the whore he obviously thought I was. But I did tease him some. My tank top underneath was very thin material, which clung to the hoodie as I knew it would. Cold air brushed against my bare midsection. After the tank top had gotten to the point that I would allow it, I pulled it back down, and fully removed the hoodie.

The locket that my mother gave me hung down between my cleavage, which I knew his eyes found. I'm really glad that I decided to wear a black tank; it stood out against my pale complexion.

I slowly walked over to him with a knowing smile on my face. His body was tensed up, and his eyes looked smoldering. They actually looked black in this lighting, but I knew they weren't.

I hesitantly and gracefully reached my hand up to his face, which was cold and stone. The instant my fingers glided down his cheek, his eyes closed. Then, I showed him a made up movie within my thoughts.

It was of me, of course, since I was the object of what he wanted to seduce. I didn't want to give him too much details, but I wanted to show him something that would have made him blush, were he human.

I was laying in the enormous tub that I had wanted to jump into earlier, my calf propped up on the railing, dripping wet on the floor. Rose pedals, of course were present, floating at the surface of the water around me. And to top it all off, the candles were all lit. They were all that was lighting the room. My head, leaning back against the tub, lifted as I looked over to the direction he was seeing me. I was literally looking at him inside my head, with a mischievous smile on my face.

I really was taking this further than I had intended, but it was just so easy, watching the annoyed expression on Alec's face. His lips were in a tight line, and I could tell that he was debating on what to do, or just plain shocked. As I closed my eyes to concentrate further, I felt a cold grip on my wrist, jerking my hand away from him.

I opened my eyes to see a furious expression.

_Ha, take that!_

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize the seduction game was a one way street. I just thought, you seduce me, I seduce you. You know? What's wrong, I mean it is a game, isn't it?" I asked in a sarcastic tone, pretending to be naïve.

I then could hear a growl coming from his throat.

"Point taken. I apologize."

I nodded and motioned towards the door, trying to give him the hint to get out. But he only stood there, looking frustrated and confused. Served him right, playing me like that. I don't know why he thought he had the right to do that. There is something that I found out about Alec, he was cocky as hell, and he liked to tease people.

Well, that ends now. I wasn't going to let him walk all over me.

"Just don't let it happen again. Please leave." I commanded.

Alec tilted his head a little, as he raised three fingers to my face.

"I need you to answer me three questions and then I'm gone, I swear. Deal?"

I raised my eyebrow in confusion to where this was being taken, but if it would make him leave, I'd go along as best I could.

"Fine, what do you want?"

"One, what the hell did you just do to me? Two, why did you leave Forks and come here of all places?"

"And three?" I asked.

"I'll ask you tomorrow." He smirked slightly, as if this was his game now.

"Okay, I'll make you a deal. If you get out of my room and let me rest, I swear I'll answer truthfully to anything you ask tomorrow. I'm tired and not to mention jetlagged, and don't feel like wasting my time with you anymore." I said in between yawns. I found myself grabbing my bag and getting out my pajamas. I could feel his eyes following me everywhere I went as I waited for his answer.

After a few moments, Alec agreed and quickly left, where I was left alone. It felt weird being left alone, like the room had gotten bigger. And the truth is, and the moment he left, I felt an enormous amount of relief. I slipped into my sweat pants and a black tee-shirt, and crawled into bed. As soon my head hit the pillow, I was out, welcomed by dreams of Alec. But I couldn't complain, because it was honestly the best sleep I have ever had. So good, that the next morning came too soon.

As soon as I opened my eyes, I took a shower and quickly put on the first things I saw in my duffle bag. A sea blue spaghetti strap shirt with a ruffled bottom and a bow on its waist, I always thought it was pretty and Alice often complimented it. Then I threw on some blue jean shorts, ballet flats, and some earrings that I thought made the outfit complete. My hair? Well, I decided to wear it down. I had it cropped a little past my shoulders. My hair was damp from my shower, but at least it would smell good.

With a look in the mirror, I brushed on some lip gloss and sighed, preparing myself for my first day with the Volturi. I was really pleased with the way I looked, considering the previous night I looked like crap.

I stepped out into the hall, and started walking in the direction that I came last night, hoping I would remember the way. But I failed. This place was huge; there were hallways everywhere, and the more I looked the more lost I became.

I was just about to give up and sit down till I heard footsteps coming behind me. I looked to see a teenage looking girl standing in front of me. She had blond hair that was pulled back into a bun, big red eyes, gorgeous features and a annoyed expression

"I'm sorry, I'm a little lost. Are you…Jane?" I sounded stupid, of course she was Jane! What other girls were running around here like they owned the place? Besides, she looked like Alec, only a girl version.

The obvious Jane smiled, confirming I was a moron. She was indeed, the Jane. Alec's Jane.

"Well, I'm glad to hear my reputation has done me justice. You must be the half-breed." Jane accused, knowing all too well who I was. Of course, everyone knew who I was, I was the freak. I knew that there were others like me, but none of them would actually come here. Not unless they were stupid. I was being to question if I was or not. I probably was.

"That's me, but you can call me Ren-"

"I know your name."

_We already know each other, great. Now we can be such great friends. _I thought to myself bitterly.

"Oh, of course. Well, I hate to keep Aro waiting, but I'm kinda lost, could you help me?" For a second there, I didn't think she was going to. It was like she was questioning whether or not she should. Then finally, she nodded, and gestured for me to follow.

I followed her down some hallways, and we took some turns, then finally we were in the throne room. But Aro, Caius or Marcus were nowhere to be found.

I quickly turned to tell Jane thank you but she was already gone.

"What a nice girl. I can hardly wait to spill secrets with each other and paint each other's nails." I said to myself.

"As long as you don't paint them pink. Jane has never been much of a girly girl." A low voice said right in my ear. I could feel his cold breath brushing against my skin, making me jump as a response.

"You!"

"Me." Alec answered, with a smirk. He then took a step closer, his hands behind his back.

I looked him up and down, and noticed he had again worn black as his wardrobe, this time though I could see a little bit of red popping our from his coat, which lead me to think he changed his clothes. Which also lead me to think of him shirtless-

_No, don't go there. Don't cross the line. Again! Sheesh._

Okay, I can do this. I can stay in control. I had to. I couldn't let what happened last night happen again, it was too embarrassing.

"Where is Aro?" I asked.

Alec shrugged, obviously not caring.

"Who knows, somewhere around here. He should be here shortly though, I imagine. He wouldn't want to be a poor host."

Poor host indeed. I couldn't ever imagine Aro being a poor host unless you were a human that he was about to kill. But if Aro was busy, I had to wait, even if it meant in the company of Alec.

"So, have you thought of the answers to my questions?" Alec asked, he started pacing back and fourth in front of me.

"I don't know. Have you thought about your third question?" I replied, watching him move around, crossing my arms.

"All in good time. But first, explain your power, or whatever it is you did."

_What I did was give you payback. _I thought to myself, but I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't tell him half of the things that went through my mind. It was a scary place even for me.

It was really bad having my father read it all the time. For that, I am grateful he is no where to be near, he would kill me for the things I have been thinking lately. He would be ripping me limb from limb, or worse, Alec's. This is, if he would be able to get to Alec before he numbed him of all his senses.

"Well, obviously it is my ability." I shrugged. It seemed simple enough for me. What didn't he understand?

"I understand that. What _is _your ability exactly? I know its part of the reason you and your family are still alive, so it must have been pretty convincing to Aro."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. I didn't know that." I rolled my eyes and explained. "Simply put, I can show you my thoughts, memories and made up visions. Anything I think, I can show you."

He nodded, finally getting the answer he wanted

"Impressive. Now, second. Why did you leave your home and come here?" He asked, this time really looking at me. This must have been something he needed to know for himself, though I couldn't figure out why. Why did it matter to him so much as to why I was here? It wasn't like I was taking up a lot of space. But he looked at me with sincere eyes, like I could tell him my deepest secrets. For some reason I wanted to, though I knew better.

"Can we skip that one for last?"

He shook his head no.

_It was worth a try._

I sighed and looked down, tucking my hair behind my ears. I felt nervous. If I told him he would judge me even more, he would think it was childish; my reasoning. But he wanted to know so, he was going to know.

"I need to find out who I am without the influence of others. Without…my father, reading my every thought. Without my mother, and my aunt Alice who is planning my wedding, a wedding I had no idea was going to happen in the first place. And Jacob, who sees me better than anyone. My best friend, who I can't love like he wants me to. I needed to get away from all of that, and the only place I could think of to escape was-"

"Here." Alec finished, nodding in understanding. His eyes were soft, softer than I had ever seen them before.

I rubbed my own eyes, because I knew they were staring to water. Because the truth was, I missed Jake, and I missed my family. But I couldn't be there right now, and I hoped they would welcome me back when I was ready to come home.

I could see all their faces, and it made my heart ache. Daddy playing the piano, as my mom reads Wuthering Heights out loud, yet again. I believe I miss them the most, among the rest.

"Okay," I said, wanting to change the subject before any real tears fell. "What was the third question?" I asked.

Alec's posture suddenly changed. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking up and past me, his eyes focusing on something else.

"It doesn't matter now. I- I got to go." He said, and then disappeared before I had a chance to stop him.

That was weird.

Before I could even turn around, I heard the familiar voice speak my name from behind me.

"Renesmee," Aro began, as I turned around to face him. His face was smiling, obviously pleased about something. "I'm so glad to see you and Alec are getting along."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I just appointed him as your personal guard for the remainder of your visit. He'll be with you at all times, helping you with your every need."

I started laughing, thinking he was joking. But his face was dead serious, and I stopped laughing immediately, my face falling in realization.

_My what?_

* * *

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**Thanks again!**

**~IITM**


	4. Chapter 4: Closer and Closer

**Chapter 4: Closer and Closer**

**Alec's POV**

I'm was in trouble, I was in serious life or death trouble. When Aro first told me of the proposal, -well it really wasn't a proposal, because if it were I would have a say in it- I was appalled at his course of action.

I had to seduce Renesmee Cullen. Seduce as in try to get in her my bed, not that I didn't want her to be there, I just didn't want to be there because someone told me to. Also, the fact that I had sworn I had hated her about five minutes ago was a good reason not to be there also. But did that matter to my sire, did any of my emotions ever matter to that man? He was smart, he knew what he was doing, and he knew my basic needs. I don't know what he was thinking! He was probably thinking, 'Oh, Alec has no problem getting in her bed, so why not? It's not like he wasn't thinking about it earlier!'

Really, is that the only reason? I was around here to seduce the women of the Cullen family, the youngest daughter? Did I not have a say in what happens to my body? Needless to say I was furious. I basically argued my side to no end, did that do me any good? No, because I got stuck bringing her a tray of _human _food! I have lost all my dignity, not only was I told to be her guardian, I was her servant now too! Ridiculous.

I automatically named her room the red zone. It was a place of danger. In fact, it was a room I never wanted to step foot in, but I did. Because it was for the coven, and I would do anything for the coven. I was Aro's personal bitch boy. I've lost my manhood and all the years I've matured. I felt like I was twelve years old being punished for something I didn't do.

Though I am guilty to some degree, I mean I basically planted the idea in his head, didn't I?

_Brilliant, Alec. Could you be more of a moron?_

Okay, granted. I couldn't control what Aro thinks or does, nor could I control some of my own emotions, but I suppose I could take some of the blame. I mean, there I was in the alley, wanting to do god knows what to Edward Cullen's daughter and I didn't see Aro objecting to it anytime soon. Disgusting.

I stood awkwardly, knocking on her door. I felt completely violated in so many ways, but she didn't answer, and I could hear girlish squeals coming from inside. Typical, of course she would be happy, she was probably thinking she was a princess, and all of us were her servants. It didn't help that I was coming to her aid by serving her food.

So, naturally, giving that I live here and she didn't, I let myself in. I just hoped to God she wasn't getting undressed or something, that certainly wouldn't help matters at all. So once I let myself in, I was instantly hit with the scent of lavender. So relaxing, even for my kind, but that wasn't what knocked the air right out of me. Well, sort of.

I swear at that moment if I had a beating heart it would stopped then and there. She was so beautiful and sensual; a succubus in training and she wasn't even trying to be. Her body, slender and full of curves laid on top of the silk comforter, her shirt trailing up her waist leaving none to the imagination. Her gray hoodie was no help; large and falling off her creamy pale shoulder. She looked like she was waiting for me all along, like she knew I'd be here to take what Aro wanted me to.

She was ready for something she had no idea was coming and I loved that. I loved looking at her in this position, because the minute I walked in I wanted to do so many things to her. I wanted to kiss that pretty little navel of hers and then some. I was an animal in heat and for some reason I was enjoying it, which in turn angered me. I shouldn't have been like this just yet, these things take time don't they? Then again, Aro wouldn't disapprove of me for putting this little plan of his into action tonight, would he? He wanted me to get her laid, right? So she'd want to stay here forever with us.

Why was I doing this again? Oh right, because a part of me wants to. The dark side of me wants to do this, while another side of me is saying stop, this is insane.

But as soon as my skin touched hers, I had to physically contain myself from going any further. It was as if there was a human right in front of me and I hadn't fed in months, and I was desperately trying to hold back from attacking. It was impossible, but I had to do it. For now at least, because I didn't think I was ready. Though I did know my body was definitely in gear.

So instead, I amused myself in my thoughts as our hands touched on how I would take her. I would make her moan into my ear as I trailed cool kisses along her warm body., anywhere and everywhere I pleased. I had no limits to what and how I would pleasure her. I will make her mine in every physical way, I knew that. Not Aro nor Jane would influence this choice. I was going to do this on my own, though it would take time. In the meantime I would have to be strong enough mentally to wait for the right moment. I thought I actually had a chance of doing it too.

That is until she took off her hoodie and glided towards me like a woman on the verge. I was nothing but ready. The need had in fact intensified 100 times fold, adding on with every step she took. Her small frame was filled with curves that I had not noticed before. Her chest was more filled out than expected, in fact the breasts that were now merely exposed were covered by a thin layer of black material that I could easily rip with two fingers. Her eyes, -though I barely noticed them- had a devilish expression about them, as if to say she was hunting now. That scared and aroused me like I'd never been before. It felt like she was reading my thoughts, that she had picked up on my severe desire to satisfy myself with her help, of course. I actually was counting on it, counting the seconds before she would confirm my suspicion; which was that she and I were in fact going to go with Aro's plans without his knowledge. Not that he was any near my thoughts. In fact, I was only thinking of one thing. As soon as Renesmee reached her hand to my cheek my mind was filled with her own personal fantasies.

It hit me like a brick wall. I could see her calf hanging over the very tub of her own bathroom. Candles were present, which made her skin glow in the dim light, her face turned slightly at who I can only guess was me. It felt like it was really happening to us. So clear and real. Of course, my reactions to the visual were apparent. They were so apparent that I'm sure Renesmee felt it through my clothing, though she didn't give a response. Thank God.

I didn't know how she couldn't notice it. After all, it wasn't something that could be mistaken. My guess is that she was concentrating, though so was I.

She added a lot of detail to the vision that she had provided for me. The more details she added to her fantasy, the more I was beginning to add to my own.

I couldn't handle anymore of this torture. If I didn't act now I was going to regret it. I wanted her, yes, more now then before, but when I opened my eyes to look at her face I saw anger. It shocked me into realization; she loathed me. So after apologizing for 'playing' with her as she would put it, I set my mission to the next level.

It was stupid, really, but it was a start. If I were to seduce her I had to know her, I was only interested in three simple questions.

One, I had to know the extent of her power. It was of my and Aro's personal benefit. My benefit was because well, I had to know what exactly I saw. Could she show people their own thoughts and projected them into images, or did she come up with that little scene all on her own? I had to know what I was up against.

The second question was eating me up inside since the moment she arrived. Why here, why did she come here? I had thought that it was because of selfish reasoning, or perhaps she was rebelling against her parents. I was wrong, which had lead me to forget my third question completely.

Renesmee had opened a side of her I had not expected the next day when we were speaking in the throne room. I couldn't handle it, I didn't know how to. I wasn't prepared for the longing look in her brown eyes. Such sadness that it made my chest ache for her. I couldn't understand it, the emotion I was feeling. It was something I hadn't felt in decades. Compassion for another being that was not apart of my coven, and even then I didn't feel it much for them.

Seeing her beautiful eyes water was brutal for me. I felt the need to comfort her and I didn't know why. What was she to me, some girl staying with my family whom I shared a physical connection with? I had to slow things down, not for myself but for her sake. I couldn't understand why, but I cared that much. It was a discomforting emotion, but nevertheless, I had to pace myself.

Forgetting everything around us in that state of mind, Renesmee again asked what the third question was, and honestly? It just wasn't the time for it. The thought of asking it now was disgusting. There was another time and another place for it; this wasn't it.

So, I left her to her thoughts, though not for long. Aro after all wanted to share the good news, that I was her new babysitter. It was his discreet way of having us bond, or rather our build up before the plan takes action.

I was suppose to seduce and sleep with her.

_No pressure or anything._

I stepped outside the room for a moment and leaned my back against the double doors, hearing every word from inside. I tilted my head slightly and perched my leg over the other, relaxing.

I was hoping she'd have the same reaction as mine. I wasn't disappointed.

She just laughed at him, as though he was making a silly joke. Her laughter was sweet and innocent, yet at the same time melodious and kind of elegant. But her laughter died down when Aro didn't respond.

"Aro, that really isn't necessary," She began, sounding as horrified about the situation as I had felt. "I'm not weak, I can take care of myself." She did not find his plan amusing at all and I couldn't agree more, though he didn't bother with my protest.

"Renesmee, it's for your own safety. Alec is more then qualified to be your guardian. I wont take no for an answer. Believe me, I know best."

The sound of his voice was more commanding then friendly. I felt kind of bad for leaving Nez in the room by herself, how scared she must feel, heck I felt scared for her, after all Aro could be seen as intermediating by his looks alone.

"Look, Aro… With all respect, I know this will only end badly. I do not want nor will I be stuck with Alec the whole time I'm here. Please, if I have to have a keeper, choose anyone but Alec. _Anyone!_" She begged, the perfect definition of desperate._ "_I mean, Felix come on, you'd watch me right? We're buddies!"

For a moment I thought Aro was going to give up on his ideas. I was waiting for it when suddenly I glanced up and at the corner of my eye and saw Jane standing in from of me. Her hands were crossed behind her back, and there was a malicious smile on her porcelain face.

"What happened with the Science Experiment?" She asked, glancing at the door. I rolled my eyes and started walking away from her. Of course she followed, being the little pest that she was. I loved her, but sisters are sisters, right?

"So, how is the plan coming along, does she hate you yet? Because t be honest, I'm getting bored."

"Well, I think Aro has other plans for her." I said.

There was a pause, and I heard a chuckle.

"Oh, you mean him wanting you to seduce her? I thought about that, and you know, that could work to our advantage."

I raised an eyebrow, stopped walking and turned to look at her.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I knew my sister had her motives, she would use anything she could.

She smirked.

"C'mon, its classic. Seduce her, sleep with her, break her little heart and she'll run away. Then that's where I would come in. Its perfect, better than our original plan by far."

Ours? I didn't remember me having any say in this little plan. I didn't have say in anything that was happening lately. Where was my say? Apparently it didn't exist anymore.

I sighed loudly, I just wanted her to go away. I didn't have the patience for her right now. She made it sound so simple.

Sleep with her.

No big deal, right? But it was a big deal, a huge deal. Because she didn't realize in all her brilliantness that I wanted to, it had been all I could think about. But I wasn't going to tell her that, of course, I hadn't gotten to that point in my insanity. To confide in my sister would be like confiding in the devil himself, there would be no point. It would only cause problems. I just had to confide in myself in all my misery.

I wanted Renesmee Cullen, I needed help.

"Sleep with her?" I asked, surprised Jane was actually on board with the idea.

"Well, maybe that's going a bit to far. Aro wants you to do that but that doesn't mean I want you to. I don't think you would lower yourself to that. I mean, could you imagine?" She started laughing, as my eyes narrowed.

_You have no idea how many times I have imagined it in the last twenty-four hours of my existence, sister. The number alone would baffle you._

"What?" She snapped, reading the expression on my face.

"Listen, I'm kind of busy, and I don't have time to play along with your little games at the moment. I'll talk to you later." I said through my teeth. I walked away from her once more, this time she didn't follow, she only scoffed. I often enjoyed putting her through misery, but right now I was annoyed with her. It was none of her business what Renesmee and I did, in the bed or out.

"Don't think I'm going to give up on this. I will get rid of her, and you are going to help me." She called, but I only kept walking, leaving her and her selfishness.

I envy people with normal sisters, some what.

I couldn't push Renesmee and the look on her face when she was talking about finding herself without the influence of others out of my mind. I pitied her, though I shouldn't have. It was just a part of me wondered if she was going to find what she was looking for here. I doubted it. I mean, who was going to help her with that exactly, me? What a joke.

Walking down the now familiar halls I was once again pulled into her room. She was still talking to Aro, or rather fighting him on her behalf, so it wasn't like she wasn't going to notice anything right away.

"Hmm…" I inhaled deeply as I opened the door.

Her scent was everywhere. It was so intoxicating that it made my mouth water. I looked about the room and noticed two things.

One, she didn't make the bed, which was fine with me. That was where the scent was mostly coming from. I couldn't even to be describe it, it was so luscious. The second thing I noticed was that she had clothes were laying everywhere. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she had lived here for years. It was kind of gross in a way, but it didn't bother me.

After a moment of snooping, I sat in a chair and closed my eyes, surrounding myself in her scent. I could stay there forever in it, which was of course a bad idea.

I quickly glanced around until finally my eyes were setting on a tiny object on her dresser, with headphones attached to it.

An Ipod would be my guess, but it wasn't like I own one to tell the difference.

In vamp speed I picked it up and pressed a button with my thumb. It glowed, and words like: 'music' and 'album' appeared before my eyes. I smirked.

_What does she listen to when I'm not around?_

So, I just pressed play and plugged the earphones in my ears. How I must look ridiculous wearing these things. I didn't know how someone could keep wearing them; they were annoying. Out of pure curiosity, I started looking through her songs, reading the titles. Some were completely pointless.

"_Boom Boom Pow_?" I whispered, feeling my lips curl in. I wondered if it would made more sense if I spoke it aloud, and as I suspected, it didn't. Actually, there were many like these. Ridiculous, was this all that she listened to, music that had no meaning? I was too scared to listen to any of them.

Just when I was about to put it down, I spotted a title that caught my attention.

_Come On Closer. _

I debated whether or not I should try to listen to it. It seemed normal enough though, and something inside of me just wanted to listen, I didn't know why. So against my better judgment, I reluctantly pressed the play button.

The music started out; it had a sort of seductive sound to it. The beating was repeating themselves rhythmically, slowly but increasing to the music. As much as I just wanted to rip the earphones out of my ears, which was a lot, I couldn't. It felt like the earphones were physically attached to my ears and there was no possible way to set them free from myself. I was in a trance.

So, I waited for the lyrics to begin, but once they came, I really wish I hadn't. I was regretting ever coming into this room, and ever picking up the Ipod. Hell, I even wished that Renesmee had never brought it with her to begin with. Because if I had thought my emotions were bad before, then now they would only be described as much worse.

It was a woman singing, as I predicted. I couldn't imagine a man singing this song, the though was actually a little disturbing.

But that wasn't the point, the point was the way this woman sounded as she sang. It was just the way her voice sounded, along with the music, and most of all what she was saying.

_Come on closer, I wanna show you, what I'd like to do. _

_You sit back now, just relax now, I'll take care of you._

Okay, this song indeed had gotten my attention, much to my dismay. The longer I listened to the words, the more I wondered why Renesmee tortured herself. Why did she allow herself to get drawn into what only to be lead up to being alone? Probably the same reason why I couldn't stop. It was like I was torturing myself, and I couldn't step away. I just waited to see what she was going to say next. It was all so captivating in the sexual sort of way. I was doomed to have this song forever in my head. Figures.

_Hot temptations, sweet sensations, infiltrating through. _

_Sweet sensations, hot temptations, running over you._

As the song played, I felt my jaw drop and then close into a thin line. I closed my eyes to concentrate. My whole body was tensing up, and my mind was wandering to Renesmee. I pictured her swaying with the music, her hips rotating to the beat, her hair swinging into her pale, beautiful face. I could see now why she listened to this, it was to free herself. But it just wasn't the song, it was the fact that it was describing things that was going on, in my own body. It was somehow making it expand and forming into something I couldn't recognize. The need burning underneath my core.

_Gonna take it slow, babe. Do it my way. Keep your eyes on me. _

_Your reaction, to my action, is what I want to see._

This song was my current state of mind, how is that? I had many reactions to her actions, and I'm pretty sure it's what she was wanting to see. Like when she showed me her little fantasy, was this her inspiration to torture me? Is this where she learned her tricks?

I was rapidly beginning to hate the woman who wrote this, and yet loved her at the same time. I never knew a girl could captivate a man's urges so perfectly. Though here it was, playing in my cold ears. I just wasn't sure how much more I could handle. I was strong wasn't I? I can stay in control, I'll just have to never listen to this song again, nor bring it up to the Cullen girl.

_Rhythmic motions, raw emotions, infiltrating through._

It was probably a good thing I stopped the music when I did, in fact I didn't question it. because as soon as I pressed stop I heard the door open. I quickly yanked the earphones out and stuck the Ipod in my pocket, too quick for Renesmee to see thanks to my ability to move swiftly.

I turned around and looked at her, but not in the eye. No, my mind was in far too deep for that. I could still hear the song playing in my ears. I tried to focus all my concentration on Renesmee's face but failed horribly. My eyes found her tiny, fragile waist. moving along her body and I wasn't disappointed. After a moment of standing perfectly still for at least five moments with Renesmee's hostile glare adding to the pressure, she finally spoke.

"You." She declared, folding her arms across her chest, which was where my eyes of course followed. But I looked back up to her face, keeping myself in control, though it felt impossible.

"That's the second time you've called me that today." I stated, remembering when I met her in the throne room only about forty-five minutes ago. I never thought that word could sound more like an insult than in that moment. Clearly I was mistaken, because Renesmee Cullen was using it as one, as if I was the insult myself. Oh yeah, she hatred for me was now at a whole new level thanks to Aro's planning. I should really learn to thank him for this added bonus.

"There really isn't any other way to describe you. You're just…you." She grimaced, looking me up and down slowly, like she was studying everything she disliked about me. Though she way she looked was as if she was searching for something she was liking.

"Well, that sounds a bit boring. I like to think of myself as, oh I don't know, charming. Perhaps alluring, good look-"

"You think too much of yourself then, because I don't see those things at all." She smirked slightly, sending death glares in my direction. Deep down I truly believed that if Renesmee had the strength and the power, not to mention a grantee way of living, she would have tried to kill me. She'd do it wait a smile on her lovely face too. Though I feared nothing. As I smiled softly and stepped closer to her, her body instantly stiffened, turning into a statue.

"Well, I don't exactly think that's true." I said in a low voice, lowering my face to hers.

We were so close that by the looks of our shadows, we were like one body. I could feel her warmth again; I welcomed it, hell I needed it. It felt so heavenly against me. She didn't fool me for one minute if she thought that I was that clueless.

I stood there, not getting any closer, and looked deep into her eyes. She bit her lip and closed her them. Her heart jumped as I knew it would.

"And why is that?" She said in a shaken voice, stepping back.

"Hmm…It might have something to do with the fact that your heart is beating ten times faster, and if I'm not mistaken, you seem to be blushing." I said, in almost an whisper, now bearing a smirk of my own, my face was just inches from her. Her big brown eyes were sending holes in me. I had to stop breathing, it was a uncomforting feeling but it kept me in check of what my mission was.

I had her, yet again. She looked down at her feet, hiding her face now that I knew was still red. She was embarrassed.

"You're wrong."

"Am I?" I questioned, starting to circle her. She still faced the ground, not looking up at me, afraid that I would see the pink color that was rising to her cheeks.

"Yes."

"Well, we're going to be spending a lot of time together. Maybe over time you'll change your mind about me, but I still think your just denying your…wants." I whispered in her ear.

She tilted her head and raised a eye brow.

"I want only one thing," She said simply, brushing her hair behind her ear as she normally did. I looked at her puzzled expecting the, 'another guardian' retinue that she'd given Aro. If she thought I hadn't fought for my own personal freedom she was sadly mistaken.

She didn't say anything, she just simply smiled, showing all of her prefect little teeth.

My patience was growing thin, I didn't want to play this game anymore. In fact I wanted to get out of the room, but before I could even get to the door I heard her speak.

"I want to ask you three questions."

_Oh, this can't be good._

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**Writer's Note:**** Not much progressing story wise in this chapter, but that's why there will be a next chapter to get into the good stuff! ;D ANYWAYS! Hope you enjoy! Please review! Thanks! :)**

**~IITM**


	5. Chapter 5: A day out with a Volturi

**Chapter 5: A day out with a Volturi**

**Renesmee's POV**

Okay, this is not what I planned! Aro, thinking he always knows best, appointed Alec, the stupid gorgeous looking Vampire whom I have come to hate, and want all at the same time, was going to be my personal guard for the entire time I was here? But did that give Alec the right to go wandering in _my _room while _I _wasn't there? I mean I realize its his place and everything, but there is a little something called privacy! And it was being violated! A lot of things were being violated at the present time. I didn't want a babysitter, and I sure as hell didn't want Alec to be the one watching my every move. It was bad enough just having to live in the same place with him, but now he's going to be with me all the time? Its not good for a girl to be hovered over, by a seductive vampire no less! I came here to clear my mind, find myself. Not fall for one of the freaking Volturi! Not that I actually had feelings towards Alec, cause I didn't. at all.

I'll just have to stay calm, and refrain from any impure thought while being around him. Easy enough right?

Wrong.

He made that impossible. Everything he said I took the wrong way, but that's probably because he wanted it to be taken the wrong way. With his stupid smirk that was glued to his very kissable lips, and those eyes that just loved to undress me every chance they got. And just the way he held himself, his posture, so confident and damn cocky!

But there was nothing I could say to Aro to change his mind, he wasn't going to budge. And I didn't put up too much of an argument because I was afraid if I did, he would kick me out all together. So I gave up, smiled tightly, and thanked him. What I thanked him for, I'm still not too sure. Because Aro wasn't doing me a favor, he was torturing me!

So, with my head held low, I walked to my room, but just to find Alec waiting for me. Figures that little stalker. He has official ruined my stay here. I thought I could handle it before, but now that I knew I was going to see him every waking hour, I just couldn't. How would I be able to handle myself when he was always there?

So then I went in my room, and he was yet again, very sure of himself, and I had to think of something, anything, to wipe that look of his face. So after thinking off the top of my head, I came up with something on the spot.

"I want to ask you three questions." I called behind him as he started to walk towards the door. He froze, I was waiting for a long lecture about how this wasn't the time to play games, even though he was the one clearly doing the pitch. I was just hitting to home base.

He turned around and glared at me, his eyes looking at though they were fire. I swear his eyes got more red every time I saw him, which gave me chills.

Alec approached me very slowly, his face emotionless but stern. His voice was unrecognizable, dangerous and filled with sex.

"I'm not in the mood for a survey."

"Says the person who started 20 questions in the first place, why is it you get to have all the fun?" I replied as he crossed his arms. He didn't like the taste of his own medicine, and it brought victory to my veins. I loved pissing him off just as much as he pissed me off, it made me feel powerful, like I had control of the things around me, and he couldn't stand it.

"Because I live here and you don't." He snapped.

I then stepped closer to him, closing the space between us a little more that before. He wasn't the one who made the rules, I don't know about him, but I'm from a free country. I could ask any damn thing I wanted to and he wasn't going to stop me. If he was smart, he was going to answer them honestly. I mean it was just three questions, its not like it was the end of the world. He's such a baby, especially how when I walked up closer, he backed away. After all the intimate space he took from me, this is the one that was going to drive him over the edge? Retard.

"Well that's a pathetic excuse, you couldn't have come up with anything better that that?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him.

Alec started circling me, again. He seemed to like doing that, it become a hobby for him. It made me feel like an island and he was a storm circling it, and I kept getting smaller and smaller with every step he took, and with every glare he passed my way.

And after a few more moments, I felt the tension break.

"Fine, what could you possibly want to know about me?" He asked dully, sighing in defeat. It felt like he was waving the white flag.

It surprised me that he didn't think I found him interesting. But why wouldn't I find him interesting? He had the biggest reputation, and every vampire that knew of the Volturi feared him most out all the others. Yet deep inside, he was just a background prop, used only when needed. Why wouldn't I find that interesting? And not to mention he was stunning in appearance. My mother had always described him as being more angelic than beautiful, but I totally have to disagree on that one. I mean he did have those angelic features, but his eyes killed that image. They were red yet breathtaking, and his lips did not help. So full and luscious and tempting. I couldn't see my mom agreeing with me but I liked to keep it in my own mind. I think I saw something in him others didn't see, something I couldn't point out, but it was there I could feel it.

His eyes lit up a little bit, breaking my trance a bit.

"Besides everything?"

A shocked expression hit his face, and his eyes became tender.

"I don't think you would want to know about me, Renesmee." He spoke softly, almost ashamed, his eyes looking down, his eyelashes were so long, I hadn't notice before. They helped define his features, already so elegant.

I now made a new goal for myself, I will start at three questions and work my way through. This wall he had built around himself I was going to break through. I was going to know him, I felt like I had to know him. Some weird force was commanding me, I didn't have a choice in the matter, and I didn't care to.

"I think I do. You asked me two questions about myself, one of them very personal. I opened myself up to you, I let you in. And now its time for you to return the favor. Show me that your just not Jane's brother, because I know your more than that. I've only been here like two days and I feel like I know you better than anyone else here. But your guarding yourself on some unconscious level, why?"

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"Does that count as one of your questions?" He asked, tilting his head to one side a little.

"No, this is just out of curiosity." I replied in a soft voice, hoping he would let me in, and all I got in return was a smirk, that damn smirk that I hated and loved so much.

"Unless it counts as one of your questions, I'm not answering." He said.

"Well that's unfair…" I muttered, knowing deep down that it actually made sense. I didn't want to waste one of my questions on my curiosity.

"Well incase you haven't noticed, life is unfair. But I guess you wouldn't realize that, living in the life style that you do. But by all means, humor me, what do you want to know?" He asked, sounding bored.

"Fine. Since the moment I arrived here, you have annoyed me, stalked me, snooped through my room, got under my skin, and lets not forget you played with my emotions. My question is why? Why can't you find someone else to play with?" I asked, looking him in the eye, my arms now crossed like his were. "I mean I know you don't want me here, I got it, and I'm sorry that I've invaded your space and everything, but why do you have to make it so hard for me? I thought that maybe if I told you the reason I was here you would let off a little bit, but your still playing with me."

The expression on his face was calm, and if I was not mistaken, it looked like he felt a little bad.

"Its not that I hate you, its just that I don't understand you. And the only way I know how to communicate with you is to be sarcastic. And as for the seduction, I can't help but to seduce you, you make it impossible for me. It just comes so naturally, that I don't even realize I'm doing it. Your very…seducible, if that makes any sense." He said, with a shrug, trying to avoid eye contact.

I wasn't expecting all that honestly, I was more expecting lies. But then again, Alec wasn't a liar, he was brutally honest, more honest that I can handle. I'm seducible? I've never thought of myself like that, people have always told me I'm beautiful and everything, but I've never been referred to as sexy, they were completely different terms. And apparently Alec thought I was sexy, how much so I'm not sure, the thought made the tremble in his presence.

I must have blushed, because then he smirked, again. I can't remember a time where he actually showed all his teeth, I wondered if he had any, because he never smiled. But then again I got an instant feeling that when he did smile, I was doomed. Doomed to be pulled under his charms. One part of me wanted him to smile, another part of me dreaded it.

"Thank you for your honesty…" I mumbled, still trying to hide my face from him, not that it did any good.

"Well you were honest with me, at least I can do the same to you. Second question?"

I was beginning to notice that he got more nervous with every question, and it excited me for some reason. He was probably dreading it.

_Ah victory never tasted so sweet._

"So, do you like, ever go outside? In the day?" I asked my second question, fairly sure I knew the answer.

"You mean in the sun?"

"Yeah, you know when the last time you sparkled?" I asked as I brushed my hand against the back of his hard skin. He flinched away from my touch, as if I were a disease. The coolness of his skin lingered on my fingers, and he looked at me, shocked. Then I started to question myself, had he ever even received a hug before? It was the simplest gesture, you wrap your arms around someone else, its something people did everyday, but I got the feeling he didn't. Ever. I would ask him what happened to his family, but I wanted to save my last question for something a little more important.

"Its been a long time." He said, sounding amused. Because I'm sure they didn't refer to when they go out in the sun as 'sparkling'. But its what they did, sparkle. As my mother always told me, my dad was the most beautiful creature when he sparkled. I began to wonder what Alec would look like in the sun, I pushed the thought out of my head quickly."Well not anymore." I said, I gripped his hand firmly and started walking towards the door.

"What are you doing?" He asked, confused.

"Well your going out of the room while I get dressed, and then we're going out, okay? I need fresh air." I shoved him out of the room, while he was still looking clueless. I slammed the door in his face, and began looking through my bag for something to wear. I picked out a multi colored shirt with stars on it, a pair of light blue jeans, and some converse that were black, and I drew all over them, I was bored. Aunt Alice said I did a good job, so it must have been true. I put rainbows and clouds and just all kinds of things, I loved them. They were cute and comfortable, and comfort was important right know, considering I was going to be around someone who made me uncomfortable since I've been here. And then I added a little multicolored bracelet that matched my shirt perfectly, Alice would be so proud of me, she always said accessories were key for every outfit.

I opened my door to find him waiting in the hall for me, his arms across his chest, leaning against the wall. He was perfect, in every sense of the word.

He looked me up and down, with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" I asked, looking down at my outfit, looking for the flaw. I saw none, this was one of my favorite outfits to wear back home, I didn't see a problem bringing it here.

"Did a rainbow throw up on you or something?" He asked, obviously trying not to laugh.

"You say one more word about my outfit and you will regret it." I warned him, pointing to his face, I was pouting now.

"Well what I was going to compliment it? Would you let me then?"

"No. Say nothing, do nothing. Lets go, I want to get to the stores before they close." I called to him, starting to walk down hall, and he had started walking down the hall too, but when I said the word store, it must have registered in his mind what I saw doing, because he stopped.

"Store?" His voice was very critical.

I turned around back to him, putting my hands on my hips.

"Yes, store. You need a new outfit, no offence." I smirked, as he looked down at his own outfit, and looked back up at me and tilted his head to one side slightly. He looked so appealing when he was puzzled. How is that even possible?!?!

"I'm not your personal shopping buddy, I'm not some Barbie doll you can play with." He said flatly, giving my a very annoyed glare.

I put a fake look of shock on my face and walked to him, shaking my head.

"Alec, I never said anything about Barbie." I said, acting hurt. Putting my hand to my chest as if he insulted me. "See, you're a boy, so that makes you Ken!" I said enthusiastically, slapping him on the arm, as if to encourage him. He rolled his eyes, and I started to walk again. I could hear him hiss behind me.

"I could do without the hissing, thank you." I said to him, still walking.

"I'm not going." He said.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Well I don't think Aro would be too happy if he found out you let me wander the city, unattended, do you?" I smiled to myself as I then heard him begin to walk. I wasn't going to take no for answer, and if he thought I didn't have the guts to go to Aro about this, he had another thing coming. "Oh, and I got you some shades."

I felt a gust of wind and in an instant he was in front of me, blocking my way. I stopped dead, my heart starting to pound again. He still had a annoyed look on his face.

"Shades?" He repeated, blinking at me like I were insane.

"Yeah, well you don't want to scare the little children with your red eyes. Do you?" I asked, hoping he would just wear the sunglasses. I mean its not that big of a deal, just put them on.

"Is there something you find wrong with my eyes?" He asked, staring into my own eyes.

_No_. I thought to myself, because really, in some weird twisted way, his eyes were very sexy, even if they were all red. It was like danger looking right at me, it instantly pumped adrenalin through my veins, and they were probably one of the best features about him. I should be sickened by them because of how they red, but I looked at them with understanding. They represented every vampires cravings.

"Yes." I lied, but I didn't do a too good of a job of it.

He just shrugged and stepped out of my way, I took a silent deep breath and continued on.

"What if its sunny? Do you really think the humans wont notice that I'll…how did you put it, sparkle?" He said in a sarcastic voice, making fun of my term for it. But there was no other way to describe it.

"Then we're going to have to wait until it gets dark then, obviously."

For someone who was as old as he was, he really was oblivious to the simplest things. Of course I wasn't going to bring him out into the sunlight, I wasn't that stupid, and it insulted me that he thought I didn't think of the possibility. I mean, my parents didn't even go to school on sunny days. I was raised to know the law.

He didn't say anything more, and we continued to walk. I was really glad I decided to wear something flat on my feet, because I was going to have to jump through that huge ass hole. The same place that we came in, the same moment I realized I was in over my head. Its funny to think that was just yesterday, it felt like forever ago.

And like the night before, he assumed I needed help.

"Need me to help you?"

"No, I got it. You first?" I motioned up, as he bent his knees and in a graceful movement, he leaped within a second, and I couldn't see him any longer. I was left alone in the darkness, until I heard his voice, summoning me from above.

I'm glad he agreed to go first, I didn't want him getting a full view of my butt. Not that I didn't look at his. Often.

I looked up to meet his eyes, meeting mine, they were so red, even in the dark. They were kind of like the color of a rose in the darkness, but in light they were brighter, and more intimidating. I saw bits of daylight behind him, that's when I really got to wondering if it was going to be sunny or cloudy. I was really hoping it was cloudy, I wanted to see the day!

And with that in my thought, my bent my legs as he did, and jumped with all my force, which was cut short, due to Alec grabbing the back of my arms, and pulling me to the surface. My instant reaction was to grip onto his shoulders, seeing as I was hanging in the air and wasn't expecting it.

Once on the ground, our eyes never left each other, my heart was going to give out by the end of this trip. It wouldn't stop beating against my ribs, pounding.

_Traitor._

After a moment or two, I cleared my throat as I moved my bangs out of my eyes, trying desperately not to blush, I focused on trying to level out my breathing. I wasn't doing to swell at it.

This is all so unfair. I have all these human traits that give me away! And he's just a stone, staring at me. I can't see or hear what he's feeling and thinking, but I was a dead give away, like a stop sign!

He raised his eyebrows, his beautiful lips curving into his signature smirk, as if he was enjoying his own personal joke.

"What?" I snapped, automatically on the defensive mode.

He shook his head, kicking a leaf off his shoe, and then looked back up at me, flipping his own bangs out of his face. He looked like a Greek god, and I don't know why but in my head, I was seeing it all in slow motion.

I'm a nerd.

"I just find it amusing that human reactions come to the surface so easily. Just by a simple touch, they go into overdrive…" He said in a low tone, stepping closer to me and reaching his hand, trailing the back of it along my arm. I jumped, feeling the burn go to my cheeks, again. When he saw this, a smile came to his face, of course no teeth were shown.

"Lets go."

I walked down the alley and when I saw the sky, I nearly jumped with excitement. Nice and cloudy. The gray clouds were like rainbows in my eyes. I felt Alec walk right beside me, his slow demeanor ever so present.

I looked at him as he was looking at the sky, this was the best day ever and his was frowning? This brought my pure joy, I was making him miserable, and it was just the beginning.

With a grin on my face, I held the sunglasses to him. And its not like I was giving him girl sunglasses, they were my dad's. I don't know how they got in my bag, but they did all the same. Must be karma, not that I deserve any good karma from my parents, whom I need to call.

_Note to self: Call parents._

Looking over at the sunglasses in my hands, he scoffed silently, snatching them. With great resentment, he slid them on and stepped into the day. It was just first time I had even saw him in natural light, even if there was no sun, he looked different.

His hair looked much lighter, his skin paler, with the shades on, well I hate to say this but he looked badass. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was human. Minus the pale skin of course. And that's when I was reminded of what we needed to do, as I looked over his wardrobe.

"Ah, shopping."

His head slowly starting turning my way, and a horrified look was on his face. I just walked ahead of him, keeping my back to him, not turning around.

"I thought you were joking." He said dully. I still didn't turn around, I only smiled to myself.

"I never joke, especially not about shopping. Alice's rules."

I could hear him throwing a fit.

"What's that Alec? Gosh maybe you should complain louder!" I called in a sarcastic voice. There were humans around, he couldn't growl!I then worried about Alec in public, I don't know why but the thought never crossed my mind. Was he thirsty? I'd hate it if he was uncomfortable. Which was stupid of me, worrying about Alec's well-being. Sometimes I scare myself it's not even funny. The further we got into the city, the more I realized I didn't have a clue to where we were headed. I've never been to Italy, but I had some serious doubt to Alec showing me around. He was resistant as it is, he'd probably show me to some random museum or something just to piss me off. I wasn't going to take my chances. So I kept walking, acting like I knew the place so well. I wasn't fooling anyone though.

"Renesmee." I heard him say flatly, stopping in his tracks. I turned around quickly and raised my eyebrow. His lips pondered.

"What?"

"Your going the wrong direction, the closest shop around here, is over that way" he said pointing east. My eyes followed his fingers and huffed.

Figures I'd be lost and having him here to point it out, right when I was pretending and everything. He made this trip so much more confusing for my own good. I was beginning to think that this shopping idea was a bad idea. I should be trying to stay away from him, but yet here we are. Mixed in with the human world. My world.

I suddenly remembered something my Uncle Jasper use to say about his past. Humans were like red dots in his eyes. Targets really. I once again found myself worrying about Alec, but decided to push it aside. He can worry about himself. I on the other hand was going shopping.

"Are you okay?" Alec asked walking aside me once we walked to the front of the shop. His eyes were smothering me. I can feel the pressure building on my face. The heat rising to my cheeks.

"I'm…I'm fine. Are you?"

He tilted his head slightly, I looked over to see a puzzling expression on his angelic face.

He really had no clue as to how he made me feel, making that face. It was filled with such innocence. Beautiful innocence. How ironic.

I started to walk inside while rolling my eyes, but Alec quickly grabbed my arm and made me face him.

His eyes looking over the shades, staring right into my mine as he leveled his face to mine. My heart once again sped. His cool hand still on my arm, which made my skin tingle. I had to focus or else this could end badly, mainly ending with me on the floor. I really had to be strong, I mean I was acting like love-sick fool. Which I wasn't and I didn't want him to think that either.

I just had to be honest with him. Easy enough. Pssh.

"Why wouldn't I be fine?" his voice was so low and deadly serious.

"Well the people, don't they…appeal to you?"

Alec chuckled, shaking his head, and that's when I saw it. His first real smile on his lovely face.

Oh god it was so captivating. His teeth was seer white, like pearls. The smile reached fully to his eyes, making them shine with amusement. I knew it was going to leave me breathless. It was like nothing I'd ever seen. Sadly it didn't last long, because as I was focusing on every detail of his mouth it faded. I looked up into his eyes and they suffocated me with their intensity. So brilliantly lit, the thought of him showing his eyes in public thrilled me, only because I was the only one allowed to see them. The only one to see who he really is. Like it was a secret that we shared.

My heart was dropping by the second.

Our faces drawing closer and closer, until Alec broke the connection with a sigh.

"I don't have a problem Renesmee, I have something else to distract me" he whispered, reaching over so gently moved the bangs out of my eyes, brushing it behind my ear. His fingers caressing my cheek as he did so.

Alec then pushed the shades up and walked past me. Leaving me to wonder what just happened. What the heck?

As we gathered multiple items from the men section, we then went up the cashier. She was young. About the same age as myself. Only with too much make-up, and bad hair extensions. I guess she would be considered pretty to anyone else's liking, but in my eyes I just got a bad vibe. As we approached the counter her eyes shifted from me to Alec. Which is where they stayed glued.

Her face didn't hide anything. She was attracted.

_The tramp._

"How may I help you?" the lady asked, in a strong accent. I cringed at the sound and looked at Alec whose eyes were still hidden.

I bet if they weren't this chick would be running for her life. I laughed at the thought.

Seeing the lady lean against the counter, her lips showing a flirtatious grin that I had the urge to smack.

I don't know why but I just didn't like her. Especially not liking the way she eyed Alec. It was like he was some kind of meat. it was degrading on his part. I didn't understand why but I had a craving to reach over and snap her neck. I can't really explain why, it was like my vampire instincts were kicking in and taking control.

I _hated_ her. I played with the idea of slamming her pretty little face against the counter. Over, and over and over. With joy. My lips were beginning to pull back over my teeth at the thought. I wanted so badly to bring physical pain. I didn't even know her.

I felt Alec's gaze on my face, making me nervous. Was my feelings towards this unknown human apparent?

"Nez?" I heard Alec whisper in my ear. His breath giving me chills.

I shook my murderous thoughts out of my head and looked at the girl with a fake smile. She was glaring at me, Alec witnessed everything and broke the girls concentration.

"Mi scusi?"

I wasn't surprised at his saying that, even I knew what that meant, what I was surprised at was the sentence that followed.

"Lei fermerebbe guarda per favore la mia amica?" His voice was so pleasant and fluid. I was shocked, of course. It figures he spoke Italian, he lived her after all. Hearing him speak in a foreign language excited me, in ways that I'm not sup post to be excited. This was just another chapter to add to the mysterious book of Alec. He had many layers that I didn't know about apparently. And then what he did next just made me freeze in total confusion, he slid his arm around my waist, and pulled me a bit closer to his side.

I was too puzzled to push him off or protest, I could only stand. It was like I was having a out of body experience, and I was watching all this from afar, even though I was right there.

Feeling his body so close to mine, it sent electric shivers down my spine, and my breathing was picking up rapidly. What was he doing? The closeness of him made me aroused, feeling his side press against mine, his hand placed on my back. It was amazing to me how this could turn me on so much, he just had his arm wrapped around me, but it felt like heaven.

He asked something else it Italian, and with reluctance the cashier answered, giving me a fake smile. I blinked, and looked at Alec. He was only smirking, and he pulled me away from the counter and towards the dressing rooms, which is why we went to the cashier in the first place, we couldn't find them.

The closer we got to the dressing room, the more I wanted to get away. I felt like a shook up bottle of coke, and any minute I was going to explode. So I finally snapped, and pushed him off.

"What the hell!?" I hollered, I was pretty sure everyone could hear me, but I didn't care. "What was that about?"

He gave me a look, as if he did me a favor and I was being rude for not thanking him for it. I'm sorry I don't like to be toyed with, its not really what I think of as favor.

"I was taking care of things." He said simply, shrugging. It was no big deal to him, obviously. Of course, nothing was a big deal to him.

"I don't need your help." I snapped back, not even knowing his full meaning in 'taking care of things.' I didn't need his help, I could take care of myself and I was sick of him treating me like child, or a puppet he could play with.

He raised his eyebrows, and was probably about to say something but I didn't give him a chance, I pushed him into the dressing room and slammed the door shut with a huff.

I was glaring at the door, waiting for him to come out, I swore he was worse then a girl. That's when I noticed the crease between the door and the wall, and through that I could see a glimpse of his bare chest.

My eyes widened as I stopped breathing. The little bit I saw was perfection. His pale, stone skin was glowing. He was one of those guys who barley had chest hair, I didn't even see any hair, and I was thrilled about that. I didn't like chest hair, I could handle a little, but too much was just a turn off for me. This however, was a major turn on.

He finally stepped out, wearing a tight white tee shirt, a black and white striped hoodie that I picked out, and some jeans.

My mouth dropped in awe. He looked so good in regular clothes, of course he could never just look "normal". Because lets face it, he is more stunning than the average human. I didn't think he liked the outfit as much as I did, because he looked disgusted about what he had put on his body.

His lip was curled as he looked down at his outfit, and he scoffed.

"I look ridicules." He muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes.

I shook my head in protest.

"No…you look really good." I managed to choke out.

He looked up at me, looking a little taken back at my compliment. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

_Way to go, Renesmee._

"Thank you?" He sounded surprised.

I then hardened my face, and crossed my arms. I didn't want him getting cocky.

"Don't read into it, I'm just saying, you look…acceptable." I kept my face emotionless. He smirked slightly, only making him look better. We went to pay for his new outfit, I bought it with my debit card, and I signed the receipt. Since my name is so friggin long, my signature is R.C. Cullen.

It was such a relief to get out of that store, I could breath again. It was slightly windy out now and it felt good on my skin.

"Where did the name Renesmee come from anyways?" He asked out of the blue, walking beside me.

I glanced over at him and shrugged.

"My mom was kinda high when she was pregnant with me. My name is a mixture of both my Grandma's names. Renee and Esme." I admitted, a little embarrassed. My mom really was unique, seeing how she was only pregnant a month. Who could blame her with the whack out names?Alec nodded, clearly thinking that was stupid. I didn't disagree with him, it was a horrible name, which was why Jake came up with my nickname, I also hated that too. But it was bearable. It was ironic how I was thinking about my nickname, because he then mentioned nicknames.

"Do you have a nickname?"

"Yes, I do." I said simply, wanting to change the subject because I started mumbling about the scenery, he wasn't buying it.

"Tell me."

Okay now he was crossing the line. I turned to glare at him, and shook my head slightly.

"Not a chance." I replied.

I continued to walk, that is until he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a shadowed area where no one would be able to see us, and be pushed me against a cool, stone wall. I stared at him with wide, shocked eyes. My heart stopped beating, everything was a blur. He took off his sunglasses and bore his eyes into me. He was holding my waist, so I couldn't escape. Not that I could move, and I didn't want to.

"Wha-" I started to speak, but he hushed me with his fingers, like he did when we first met. My mouth was already partly open, and I could imagine what his skin tasted like, I was so close. I was so tempted to taste, it was like having a cookie in front of a two year old and telling them no.

"Oh I think I could get you to tell me, if I really wanted to." He whispered, planting kisses along my neck, his cool breath brushing against my cool skin made my breasts feel like solid rock, pressed against his chest. He then raised my hand to kiss each of my fingertips, and went down to kiss my palm. The coldness of his lips made my center instantly drench with anticipation. It was like my body was getting ready for him to come to me, taking me whole. Like I was to be eaten. But his lips didn't come to mine, instead he awakened something inside me that wanted to take control. It was being too suppressed.

"Tell me." His voice was pleading, making my eyes roll into the back of my head, he had crossed his line. I wasn't holding back anymore.

I dug my fingers inside the tip of his pants, and in a swift move, turned him around and braced him against the wall with a quick shove. I was the one in control, at last.

"Don't plan on taking it to that level unless you plan to go all the way." I hissed in his ear, I looked into his eyes and pure unease was spread across his face, I only grinned in triumph, laughing quietly.

"We should stop this."

I raised my eyebrows and leaned my face so close to him our noses were literally touching. His eyes were now closed.

"Give me a good reason." I whispered, with my hands still gripped onto his belt, I pulled his pelvic against mine and pushed him harder against the wall, basically putting a welcome sign out for him.

I was really surprised at my courage to do this, I mean a couple days ago I would have never thought I would do this to a boy. And here I was, on the verge of doing some serious damage to my virtue, to where it was non existent. Did that matter though? Not at the moment, he sent reactions to me, I just wanted to test the waters, not expecting anything.

But I got something to shock me back into realization.

I could feel his erection hardening against me, I gasped. The contact made my stomach tighten and my chest frozen. I could feel myself breaking out in a sweat, I felt numb. I heard no outside noises, I couldn't even hear my own breathing. I just stared into his face.

Alec's face was emotionless, his eyes closed, as if he were waiting for the moment to pass. He had no shame. Which scared me even more.

"I believe you found your reasoning." He said, his voice was distressed, I didn't even recognize it. It looked like he was trying to hold back from his own needs, which were apparent. He wanted me, like I wanted him. I couldn't believe it.

I broke away from him then, still staring at his face, while my mouth was still open, backing away slowly.

"Nez." He only said, desperate.

I didn't want to hear what he had to say, I just shook my head very quickly.

"I'm…I'm sorry." I whimpered, and ran off into the crowd of people, my feet carrying me as fast as they could. I didn't care if people saw how fast I was, I didn't care, I just had to get away.

The last thing I heard was him calling out my name.

Over and over.

* * *

**Writers Note: So here you have it people! The good stuff :D Its long, but worth it we think. We hope you think so too! Please read and review! We love you guys so much for the responses we've been getting! We really appriciate the feedback we're getting. It just suprises us with each review! Muah!! :)**

**~IITM**


	6. Chapter 6: Crossing the Barrier

**Chapter 6: Crossing the Barrier**

**Alec's POV**

My body wasn't use to so many human emotions. Though at the present time I was pretty sure that what I was feeling was panic. I hadn't felt that emotion in a long time, the last time I can recall feeling that was when Jane was about to attack Bella Cullen, back when the Volturi went to Forks. And I didn't understand why I felt the need to stop her from harming Bella and her family. Her daughter. But I did.

I searched everywhere for Renesmee, trying to catch her scent, but with there being so many humans around, it was hard to keep track of who's was who's. So I went back to the clothing store and asked the young woman at the counter if she had seen Renesmee, she hadn't, and she again raised her eyebrows at me.

The Cullen girl couldn't have gone far, Volturra was a small city, there wasn't a lot of places to hide, though I felt hopeless, the sun was setting, and I had no clue where she was. I was about to give up and go back to the entrance, in hopes that she had gone back, and it was a possibility. From how she responded to me earlier, I wouldn't doubt it if she was packing her stuff and heading back to Washington. Not that I could control the reasoning, it just happened so quickly. One minute I'm standing there, being in control, and the next minute she took over the reins, and sent electric vibes, making me have an erection. The horror of her face was still in my mind, but what did she expect? Did she actually think I wouldn't have one around her? I'm actually surprised she had never noticed it before, because it seems like when I'm around her its always present. This was just the first time she witnessed it close up. I was not embarrassed, because to be honest I warned her before hand to stop when she had the chance. I'll admit I started it, but it was just to tease her, but when she grabbed my pants and slammed me against the wall, I knew it was inevitable. She was bound to feel it, because she pulled me onto her, whispering things in my ear about going all the way. Its not like I can actually control that part of me. Still, I had to find her, and I eventually did.

She was standing in front of a huge fountain, one that had a giant statue in the middle of it, water pouring out at the bottom, it was lit up, seeing as it was now dark. I was grateful for the fact that there were no people nearby, so I could take off those stupid sunglasses she insisted I wear, not that they would be able to see my eyes in this light, unless they were up close. Which was very unlikely.

The statue that her eyes were glued on was of a man and a woman, embracing each other for dear life. The man's caressing the woman's chest, as if he was going lift her up in the air. They were both nude of course. Walking closer to Renesmee, I noticed her eyes were studying the position that they were in, her face so blank and filled with focus.

I stood right beside her without her realizing it for quite some time. I just continued to study her face as she looked at it. She had the most beautiful eyes, they were pure and innocent. When she realized I was standing next to her, they widened with shock.

"Geez, Alec!" She jumped, holding her hand to her chest.

I took a step back, to let her catch her breath. She then turned her head quickly, avoiding eye contact with me, avoiding me all together.

"Are you okay?" I asked, looking at her, concerned. She just nodded without saying anything. She was giving me the silent treatment, obviously. Though I don't know why I deserved it, I didn't plan on the "incident" to happen in the first place, it just happened.

"Renesmee, look at me." I commanded in a soft voice.

"I know what you look like…" She muttered, still not looking at me. In fact she was deliberately looking in the opposite direction. I didn't know how to handle this, no one had ever really avoided me like this before, not even Jane. So I figured I should just press forward until she cracked, which is bound to happen eventually. If there is one thing I learned about Renesmee Cullen, it was that she couldn't stay quiet.

I moved to the other side of her so I might be able to look at her face, but she just turned her head the other way, I was growing more frustrated by the minute. She will look at me, or I will make her.

Cradling her body, she walked over to the edge of the fountain and sat down, now looking at her feet, her hair hiding her face. I sighed and walked over to sit down next to her, she didn't move a muscle.

"Are you embarrassed?" I asked gently, not wanting to upset her more that I already did. I kept my face forward, trying not to look at her. I was failing horribly.

"Why would I be embarrassed?"

"Because I went up on you." I managed to get out, there was no other way to put it. I did in fact, go up on her. There was no denying it.

I expected a blush, I got nothing. She must be so humiliated she couldn't even blush, I didn't even know if that was possible. I was so desperate for her to talk, I couldn't handle it. This was the longest I've been around her, without hearing a without a sarcastic comment, I was beginning miss it.

"Nez, please just speak to me." I pleaded.

Renesmee's head slowly turned towards me, and she peeked up at me through her eyelashes, like she was guilty of something.

I had the urge to hug her, which was strange for me, the last time I wanted to hug someone was when I was human, and I couldn't even remember that. But here I was, wanting to comfort her, wanting to hold her and tell her it was okay, she didn't have anything to be ashamed of. But reality of the situation was that she knew I wanted her in that way, she knew as much as Aro knew, to an extent. And that kind of scared me in a way, because just myself knowing that I wanted her was terrifying beyond belief, and I didn't want her feeling responsible. Even though it was her fault, completely.

"What do you want me to say?" She whispered, trying not to look me in the eyes.

"Anything, at this point I don't care."

She gave me a puzzled look and then shook her head in shame.

"I shouldn't have done that, I took it too far. I mean it's a crazy idea, you and me together like that. I'm so stupid." She muttered.

"Your not stupid."

"Yeah, I am. I don't even know you, Alec! I got here last night! And already things are so complicated! And that's not what I came here for."

I simply nodded in understanding. She was right. Wasn't here for me and my own personal enjoyment, and yet I couldn't help but want her. And if that wasn't odd enough, Aro wanted me to take it to that level. So I was aware of three peoples emotions. Mine, Aro's and hers. She came here to get away from the stresses of life, not to run into them. I was not helping that situation at all. And from now on, I'd try my best to take things slow, despite what Aro wants. It has to go slow. Though I did say it before, I really meant it now. She was so vulnerable, so young.

"I understand. But just to let you know, some things I can't control, but I'll try my best to, for you. I meant what I said before, your seducible." I said, standing up and giving her my hand to help her. She just stared at it, questioning whether or not to take it.

"Everyone is seducible." She stated in confidence, looking at me from the corner of her eye. I smirked at her.

"Not for me."

Her cheeks turned slightly red, this was going to be harder than I thought, because when she blushed her cheeks turned the most beautiful color, and it happened so often. But I would keep my word, though I didn't know how effective that could be. At the moment, I felt pretty weak, I could just dodge in and kiss her, not taking no for an answer. But I'll keep my cool.

Renesmee gave me her hand, allowing me to help her up, her eyes still gave me that doubtful look, as if she was questioning whether or not she was doing the right thing. I understood why, I wouldn't trust me either at this point. But I'm glad she did. I'm not going to lie, it was kind of overwhelming, knowing she believed me when I said I would back off. It also made me feel like dirt because of Aro, and somewhere in the back of my mind was Jane, and her evil plans. I could only hope for the best outcome, though my chances were not looking good. Jane never backed down from a game, and when Aro wanted something, such as someone joining, he was persistent. If I couldn't do it myself, he would send someone else to do it. And I would allow hell to freeze over before I let someone else try to play her. I don't know why but the thought of that made me feel possessive, like she was my property, and only I was allowed to seduce her. It made me feel sick.

Nez and I started walking, where to, I didn't know. She was in charge of this little outing, planned it out and everything, while I complained, as I did in the store, which was hell by the way. The only amusing thing that happened there was Nez getting jealous over the cashier, and the look on the cashiers face when I told her Nez was my girlfriend. Why I did that, I have no idea. Still, despite that incident, and the awful clothes she had me wear, I'd probably follow this girl everywhere in Italy, for my own personal benefit.

"Thank you, for understanding." She said, scratching the back of her ear.

"Don't mention it. In fact, we should probably change the subject, pretend like it never happened." I told her, trying to be positive. But pretend it or not, it was still going to be on our minds, I was sure of it. It wasn't just something you wish away, but Nez smiled at me just the same.

As we walked, I heard her stomach growling.

"Your hungry." I stated.

Renesmee nodded.

"Yeah, I'm starving." She said honestly.

"There is a little gelato stand around the corner, it'll hold you over until we get back home." I said the word home so casually, as if we lived together for centuries, like it was a natural thing, her coming home with me. I shouldn't get used to it, she wouldn't here forever. And knowing that fact hurt me, for some strange reason it made me ache, I was so used to her already.

"I love ice cream, my favorite flavor has always been cookies n cream." She stated excitedly. She was just so cute when she was excited. It made me want to give her the world, just to see her smile.

"Well, I hear gelato is a lot richer than regular ice cream." I answered her as we approached the corner. The moon ahead of us was full and bright, and all the humans were beginning to clear out to go home. The only people out were the people at the stand, and they were about to close, we got there just in time. So if I was going to give Renesmee her Italian ice cream, I had to do it fast.

She looked through the flavors once we got there, scanning the list over and over, being indecisive. I glanced at the guy over the counter but didn't look him in the eye, because I didn't want him noticing anything different about me, as Renesmee said earlier, my eyes were a dead giveaway.

"What are you wanting?" I asked her, scanning the flavors as well, all of it looked really disgusting, like frozen mush in my eyes.

She leaned in and whispered to me in a childlike voice that I never heard come from her lips. It was like she was too shy to say it to the man herself, though he probably wouldn't understand what she was saying anyways.

"I want cookie dough." She reassured me, it was adorable, though everything about her seemed to be that way tonight.

I smiled softly.

"Una pasta di biscotto, per favore." I told the man, still not looking at him. He then nodded and scooped her some, putting it in a little plastic cup. She eagerly took it from him, smiling like a four year old on Christmas. I swear I had never seen someone smile over ice cream so much.

"Tre euro." The man said, holding up three fingers. Renesmee's face was now filled with panic, she must have forgotten to go the back to exchange her American money for euro, common mistake for first timers. I reached into the shopping bag that I had been carrying for hours now, and pulled out three euro from the pants I had been wearing earlier, and handed it to the man. He thanked in English and returned to whatever it was he was doing before.

"Thank you," She said, looking relieved. "You know a lot of Italian, don't you?" She asked, taking a bite of her snack. I simply nodded.

"Some."

"How long did it take you to learn to speak it?"

"Is this your subtle way of asking me how old I am?" I questioned her, raising an eyebrow. She laughed slightly, with a shrug.

"Can't help but wonder."

I knew this time would come, actually I had been waiting on it. She had said she wanted to know everything about me before, it was a no brainier she would ask about my age. But I knew the more questions she asked about me, the more things I'd have to tell her. First it's the age, then its about human life, and its not that I didn't want to tell her about my human life, it was just that when one such as myself has those kinds of human experiences, someone like myself tries to forget them. Because they were not very pleasant to the listening ear, and I didn't want her to pity me because of my past. Or have nightmares. It was one of the many things that made us complete opposites. She came from a loving family that would do anything for her, Jane and I however, did not. And I didn't know how much I was willing to share about that, because it still haunted me to this day. To put it simply, it was one of those memories a vampire would be glad to forget.

"I'm not sure you'd really want to know." I warned her.

"No, tell me." Her voice was curious and innocent. And her eyes looked at me like she wasn't going to give up on finding answers.

I sighed, and raised an eyebrow on her.

"I don't really remember the exact date-"

"Well just estimate!"

_Demanding little half-breed._

I groaned. She wasn't going to want to know this. In fact I was sure she was going to run the opposite direction.

"Lets just say, I'm older than everyone in your family combined." I said reluctantly. Renesmee stopped walking and turned to stare at me. Her face was filled with shock as I knew it would be. But she didn't scream or anything. I knew she knew the Volturi was old, everyone knew that, it was a given fact. But she probably wasn't expecting me to be that old, considering how young in appearance I looked.

"So what your saying, is that your at leastover a _thousand _years old?"

I nodded.

Her eyes were still wide, and yet filled with compassion.

"It must be hard for you to be trapped in a sixteen looking year olds body." She said, her eyes filled emotion for me. A part of me hated it, because I didn't want the pity. I'm old, I accepted that a long time ago. I had dealt with the fact that I was an immortal vampire. And another part of me was grateful, not a lot of people, vampires or humans, were brave enough to feel that for Volturi guard. But I don't think Renesmee ever feared one of us, least of all me.

"On the contrary, I'm quite content with my appearance. I'd rather look like a teenager than my actual age."

"Well yeah, you'd be dust." She laughed, and I started laughing as well. She stopped to stare at me as I did so, I hadn't laughed in so long, something I hadn't done in a very, very long time. It felt unusual coming from my body, I though I had forgotten how.

Still studying me, she reached over her hand and cupped my face, tracing my cheek with her thumb. It felt so warm against my cold skin, like rays of sunshine beaming down life on me. It was the most amazing feeling ever. I can't ever describe it in words. She held it there for sometime, her brown eyes bearing into me. Tender and compassionate. I was beginning to wonder why she was showing me this much affection, in fact I had severely doubted she would touch me at all after what happened tonight. And if she thought that I still wasn't attracted to her, she was greatly mistaken. It was just suppressed at the moment by other emotions I was feeling at the moment. I didn't even know what they were.

"Tell me about your family, do you remember them at all? I mean I'm sure after a thousand years it would be blurry." She asked, taking away her hand. I wanted her to keep it on me forever, because all of the sudden I grew very cold, more so than usual.

This I couldn't talk to her about, I just couldn't. My past was very dark, the reason I was changed into a vampire, when and how. It all went back to my family. It wasn't a heartwarming story. If I told her, she would just start acting different around me, pitying me. I didn't want that, as it is she was already on her toes when I was around. So, feeling slightly bad, I lied to her. I didn't want to, but I didn't have another choice.

"My family? Were your basic parents I guess. I can't really remember them all too much, I just remember my mother mostly. How uh, kind and loving she was." Every word that was coming from my mouth wasn't true. My mother, Susannah, wasn't warmhearted or nice at all. Though she appeared to be to everyone else, she was a respectable housewife to my father, Darius, who was part of the village council.

We were a middle class family, like I said, my father was part of the council and was well respected, as was my mother. But me and Jane, we were always frowned upon, because we could do things even as humans. I remember vaguely Jane not getting her way and throwing a tantrum, and she inflicted pain on my mother. She didn't mean to, she didn't even know she was doing it, it just happened. The same kind of things happened to me as well, I would get angry and I would numb someone without knowing it. We were the village's topic of gossip for several years, people said we were witches, and at the time we thought we were too. We didn't understand why we could do the things we could, and we tried our best to keep it under control, but it seemed to be apart of us, and we couldn't help it.

At the time, they were burning people at the stake left and right because they were accused of using witch craft. They would take them up to the village square, and tie them up to a pole over a platform of some kind, and they would burn them alive.

I remember that day very clearly. It was around noon, and me and my sister were dragged out of our home, and towards the square. We were calling for our parents, they were no where to be seen. No one was going to help us, in fact, the entire village was crowded together encouraging us to be killed.

All of they're voices in unison chanting "witches". Over and over. I tried so hard to get loose, not only to save myself but Jane, but I couldn't, I wasn't strong enough. We were tied to the pole, hands behind our backs, and spat on by the entire community. I just kept screaming, hoping somebody, anybody would help. But there was no one. I looked over to my sister, and I could see tears streaming down her face as she sobbed and cried for help as well. I wanted nothing more than to save her, I was willing to give her my life, but I couldn't even do that. It was hopeless. We were going to be killed.

Just as they were lighting the kindling beneath us, I spotted my mother and father. They were in the crowd, making no attempt to save us in any way. They didn't even look sad, they just stared. I cried out to them, praying that they would help us. They didn't, they just watched.

I remember thinking how could they be so heartless? So cruel? We were their flesh and blood, and they were going to watch us die without remorse. My screaming increased as I felt the heat beneath my feet, it making its way at a excruciatingly slow pace up to my legs. I could only hear one other thing above my scream's, Jane's. It tore my heart into a thousand pieces knowing she was suffering, and there was nothing I could do. Nothing.

I could feel my skin burning, and it was excruciating. I still struggled to get free, even though I knew there was no point, I still tried. But soon I grew weak, the fire was rising to my waist. I was going to die.

I remember thinking that just before I heard the crowd starting screaming and crying with fear. What could they possibly be scared of? They were getting what they wanted, we were going to be executed. But then, I saw. These very strong, pale looking figures, slaughtering everyone. I was halfway conscious by this point so I couldn't really make out what was going on, but all I know was that I didn't care. They deserved whatever they got, I didn't care if they killed my parents. In fact I hoped they would.

Then I felt cool hands ripping me from the pole, and putting out the fire that was on my clothed legs. I couldn't make out the face of my savior, but I knew he was one of the people who were killing everyone.

"Jane…" I remember choking out, wanting whoever who was rescuing me to rescue her as well.

"Don't worry, my dear boy. Your sister is in good hands, just as you are." I heard a male voice say in a comforting way. And for some reason, I believed him. I trusted him, whoever could tear me from that pole and save me like that must be someone I could trust. Aro saved my life. He saved my sister's life. I had to be eternally grateful for that. As I thought about that day, I could feel Renesmee's intense gaze focusing on my face, bringing me back to the present.

"Really?" She asked, sounding doubtful to my lie. I knew she was too smart to completely believe me, I only hoped she would just give it up. But that wasn't likely.

"Really." I confirmed, in a casual tone.

She studied my face a few more moments, tempted to investigate further. But then her face relaxed and she took another bite of her gelato. I felt a rush of relief.

""So...on to something a little more interesting…What is your nickname? I tried to ask before but you....well you ran." I said with a laugh.

She smiled shyly and blushed, remembering the past events. I was trying my best not to relive them in my head, because if I did who knows what would happen.

"Its embarrassing and uninteresting." She mumbled.

"I think I could argue that," I said, looking into her eyes as a leaned in a bit closer, giving her a innocent look, "Please?" I practically begged. I had lost all my dignity. I was begging her to tell me her nickname. But I really had wanted to know.

Her heartbeat increased and she blushed deeper. Somehow I had crossed the line, how I did, I didn't even know. I wasn't too close, and I only said please. Apparently it didn't take a lot of effort on my part to make her heart beat faster. Her heart was like my life's soundtrack these past couple of days, it was all I heard. A consistent, slightly fast thumping sound. And when I was around her it went even faster. It made me feel uncomfortable and flattered at the same time, that I could cause that effect. I wanted my own heart to beat in time with hers, but that wasn't possible, my heart was dead. But she was so different, so full of life and energy, so beautiful and stubborn. I didn't know so many appealing qualities could lie within one person. But she had it all. And she was going to drive me over the edge with them.

"Lets just say me and the Loch Ness Monster have something in common." She said reluctantly, rolling her eyes to herself.

What could she and that made up sea beast possibly have in common? I mean sure she was a bit annoying, but a monster was taking it too far, even for me. She wasn't making any sense.

I raised my eyebrows at her in confusion, and she sighed deeply.

"Its…Nessie, Alec. Everyone back home has called me Nessie since the day I was born. Jake came up with it, it just stuck."

I couldn't believe it. How could they possibly refer her to a monster, how insulting. It wasn't even me and I was insulted. She was much too rare of a pearl to be branded with ridicules name like that.

_Whoa, Alec. Calm down. She isn't yours. Her family can call her whatever they want._

This is true, it wasn't any of my business. But still, it made me angry. Whoever this 'Jake' person was needs to be-

_You don't know anything about him. It isn't your place._

I was fighting with myself, I couldn't believe it but I was fighting with myself over this. Renesmee was still waiting for my reply, staring at me. I noticed my body had tensed up and my jaw was tight, I stopped walking and I took a step closer to her and spoke in a lower voice that almost sounded annoyed:

"Well it wont stick with me…Nez."

I then started to pace again, and I heard her footsteps slowly catching back up with me.

"_Nez_, you've called me that a few times, haven't you?"

"Do you prefer the name you were branded with? _Nessie?"_ I asked, even the feel of the nickname coming out of my mouth made me sick. Hoping she didn't notice my disgust, I looked down at her as she giggled, she turned slightly red as she elbowed me. Apparently my distaste was apparent, which wasn't surprising. I was becoming a horrible liar thanks to her.

"Shut up! I never said I _liked _it."

I begin to laugh slightly. My cheeks were starting to feel odd at the new expression. I hadn't smiled this much since I can't remember when. It felt so new and fresh to my face. It couldn't possibly be good for me, I should gain control, but some how I couldn't. not around her at least.

Renesmee and I walked down the streets of Italy for a what seemed like hours. It really was something at night. It's been ages since I actually had the chance to appreciate it, we talked about everything. From her favorite hobbies, to what annoyed her the most. I felt like I was digging myself a hole inside her world. A world I didn't belong in. the longer we talked, the most involved I became. Of course, our topics were mostly about her, seeing as how she had things I didn't. the hobbies and favorite foods, for me it was like they didn't exist. She was making me realize just how important those things were to a person.

After all the talking, we just walked. The only thing to be heard was the air, and our footsteps. It was kind of nice that way that is, until I glance at Renesmee, and she was covering her mouth in a yawn.

I had forgotten.

She sleeps.

"Your sleepy, ah I forgot, not use to--"

"No, I'm fine. Really, I actually want to…um...." she blushed slightly, shaking her head as I gave her a puzzling look.

"You want what?" I asked, grabbing her hand to stop her from walking ahead. She looked away from. But I wasn't going to give up. She wanted something, she was just to scared to ask me. For reasons I didn't know.

"Nez..?"

She cracked.

"I want to see the sun rise with you? My mother says that the moment she saw my father in the sun, was when it truly felt like she was meeting the real him." Brushing my cheek with the back of her hand, her body began shaking against the coolness on my skin. Her voice sounding very nervous. As if she didn't know if she was crossing the line or not. Like I was going to snap at her for suggesting such a thing. I don't know what gave her that idea, but snapping at her was the last thing I wanted to do.

"You need sleep Nez.." I whispered. Closing my eyes, As she leaned in close to me. Breathing in my scent.

"Please"

I opened my eyes to her mocking my innocent expression from earlier. I was doomed. How was I to say no to that and why did I want too? What could I possibly be afraid of? Her seeing the real me? Hardly. I mean it's true, I hadn't went into the sun in front of anyone and have them notice in--

ever.

I never actually stood in front of someone in the sun purposely to show them my skin's reaction. The 'sparkle' as Nez called it. I can only picture the look in her eyes. The feel of her finger tips as she traced them. It made me feel as if my heart was going to explode with life, because deep inside me, I wanted her to see. I wanted her to see everything.

"Come" I whispered, putting her with me to the closest alley I could find. I gave a glance to see if anyone could see if we were clear, while Renesmee tried to hold in the laughs. I hushed her with my finger. She closed her eyes and nodded.

As soon as I made sure no one was around, I motioned to Nez to follow me. She understood as I jumped to the roof.

I helped her along the side of the old building, making sure she made it all the way up. I was lucky she did, though not without problems. As soon as she was stable on the roof top we waited only moments. the clouds turning orange as the sun peeked though the sky. I was beginning to feel nervous as the time ticked by, on how I would look to her. It was so childish of me. Being nervous in front of a girl.

What was my problem? When I looked at Renesmee's eyes they were filled with want. It wasn't the same expression as before. It was something entirely different. It was a deeper need. It was like it was life or death situation, she was excited for this, but she didn't want to say anything for fear that I would change my mind. I closed my eyes and inhaled the moment.

"You sure you want this?"

She nodded without hesitation.

I turned to the sky and closed my eyes. Preparing myself for what's to come. I could feel the heat rising, and once I knew the sun was up, I inhaled deeply. Feeling Renesmee's warm hand gripping onto mine, interlacing her fingers with my own, I looked down at our hands and glanced at her face which was in awe. She was standing there breathless as she stood there, reaching her free hand to my cheek, tracing it with her finger, sending sensations through my body. I didn't know what to say, so I just closed my eyes as she spoke.

"Its better than I imagined, I mean I've seen it before, lots of times. But somehow with you its different."

I looked at her face, and saw a dim light bouncing off of her face. She wasn't sparkling like a normal vampire, but she was glowing, like an angel. She really was the most beautiful creature on this earth.

"Your-"

"Yeah I know, I'm glowing." She finished, rolling her eyes that looked tired, she had dark circles under them. It made me wish we hadn't done this, so she could have gone home and slept. But if we did, I wouldn't have got the chance to see her, in this light. Her hair looked more red then brown, she really doesn't realize how she looks in this light, that it wasn't just glowing, it was gorgeous.

"Your breathtaking." I corrected, making my voice sound sure so she got the point.

Nez shook her head, and I cupped her chin with my hand and nodded, looking straight into her eyes.

"Yes, you are."

Nez slowly leaned in, as if she was going to kiss me. Her eyes were closing, and from what I could hear her heart beat was rising. She must have been sleep deprived, otherwise she wouldn't be doing this. And though I wanted to deep down, I was going to stay true to my promise, I wasn't going to go there. Not now anyway.

I turned my head, looking down. Renesmee looked at me with realization, and nodded in understanding.

"We should go…" She mumbled, embarrassed.

Once we got to the entrance of our home, the closer we got the more she yawned. Her body was moving at a slow pace, and she kept tripping over her feet. She really was Bella's kid.

I walked her to her door, to see that she got in okay, after all it was my job as her guardian was it not? It was going to be a boring day without her company, that's for sure. All I had to keep me entertained was Felix, as you can imagine I wasn't looking forward to that.

"Come in for a sec." She begged, halfway asleep, her voice muffled as she threw herself on the bed. I tried to protest, but I knew it was a losing fight. I've come to realize in this long adventure we had today, that we connected and I found respect for her wishes. I knew that if I stepped in her room, I was risking our agreement, but I couldn't refuse either.

Seeing Nez laying on her bed, she was still in her clothes, and in her shoes. Though she didn't look like she was going to take them off anytime soon, her eyes weren't even open. So I had to help her myself. I gently removed her colorful shoes and dropped them on the floor, and pulled the cover out and pulled it over her, she snuggled closer to her pillow, as I brushed her hair out of her face, she sighed heavily and opened her eyes at me.

"You don't have to go…" She mumbled, looking hopeful. Oh how I wanted to stay, I would give anything to just lay with her. But I knew that was crossing the line, I didn't think I would have that much control. Besides, I was sure Aro was wondering where I was today.

"Goodnight, Renesmee." I said in a low voice, I began to walk the door.

"You don't want to stay?" Her voice sounded hurt, and I laughed softly. I bent down and kissed her on her forehead, smelling her hair in the process. She smelled of strawberries mixed with fresh air, so tempting.

"Not tonight." I said calmly.

Before I walked out of the door I heard her mutter something that sounded like, "tomorrow night then." But that could have just been my own wishes.

When I finally left I turned off the lights and shut the door behind me. I went to go change my clothes because believe it or not I hated them, and people would be wondering why I was dressed as a typical teenager, which I wasn't.

I checked in with Aro, assured in I was alive and well and explained that I was with Renesmee. He in turn hounded me about details, to which I didn't give. Something's were not his business, I just hoped he didn't want to touch me again, because then he would no whether liked it or not. Luckily, he didn't.

I also had a few lines with Jane, she too asked how our "plan" was coming along, I just ignored her.

It took me literally two hours before I found myself back in the hallway where Renesmee's room was, I was pathetic. But what else was I suppost to do? Go bowling with Felix? I'll pass.

As I leaned back against her door, waiting for her to wake up like an impatient boyfriend, that I wasn't, I suddenly heard a loud scream coming from her room.

I panicked, I had to get in there. Was someone hurting her? I mean I hadn't seen Jane for a couple hours. Oh god.

"Renesmee?" I called out to her, there was no answer. Only screaming.

I turned the doorknob, but it was locked.

_What the hell!?_

I had no choice but to break the door, she was screaming and I was going to do my best to make sure nothing bad happened to her.

And with that thought, I kicked her door open.

* * *

**_Writer's Note: Sorry it took us so long, Loves! Cee got sick so...took us a while, but we did it!! Anyways, don't forget to check out our profile, we have links to the outfits and names of songs that inspired/inspires the fanfiction! :) _**

**_PS: Did anybody see the New Moon Volturi sneak peek? Oh yeah, Alec TOTALLY body-checked Bella! :D YAY! LOL Cannot wait!_**

**_Anyways, thanks for the reviews that you leave, we're really shocked that we get so many, but we're also so happy too! So dont stop! Keep it up! The more reviews, the more jumping jacks Tiff will do! hahah. _**

**_Muah!_**

**_IITM_**


	7. Chapter 7: Nightmares & Bedtime Stories

**Chapter 7: Nightmares and Bedtime Stories**

**Renesmee's POV **

I felt like my heart was coming out of my chest, like someone was gripping it tighter and tighter until I couldn't breath. Tears were streaming down my face, and my stomach was in knots. I didn't even realize I was screaming until I woke up, at that point I just couldn't stop, the nightmare was so real. He was there, begging for mercy from the ones he called family, and it was all because of me. My heart couldn't take it, it was like having an allergic reaction to the sight of him being in pain, I wanted to throw myself at their sympathies, to get on my hands and knees and beg them for his life. And I tried, in the dream, I tried with all my might but it seemed like I was on mute, they didn't change their minds. They told me to say my last words, and that's when I couldn't take it anymore, I don't know what would cause such a horrible dream. I hadn't done anything in the last two days to trigger it, but it seemed so real.

I was so focused on the reality of the nightmare, that I didn't even feel His firm hands shaking me. My heart was pounding, sweat was covering my face and I was trembling with fear. Out of instinct I started hitting the chest of the man that was holding me down, I was in between sleeping and awake, my eyes were barley open so my vision was of no use. All I knew was that I had to get free, to save Him, until I finally heard his sweet, calming voice, bringing me back.

"Renesmee! Renesmee, what's wrong?!"

Upon hearing his words, I sighed in relief, not knowing if it was real or not. I took my chances, because it felt so good to hear him say my name. My tears turned into sobs as I gripped onto his shirt, clinging onto his body, like if I was going to let go, the dream would come back. And I would do anything to keep it away.

Alec's body tensed up, his hands on my waist, as if he was unsure where to put them. My tears were getting on his shirt, but he didn't seem to mind, he just soothed me with his voice over and over until I finally began to relax, but I didn't let go of him even then, I wouldn't. After moments of trying to normalize my breathing, I buried my face in his shoulder, and my hair was sticking to my face because of the tears. He rubbed my back gently, still feeling uncomfortable. I looked up to see his face inches from my own, I froze. This is the closest we've gotten since the barrier discussion at the fountain, it felt more than good to be near him, and deep down I think he felt the same.

I didn't want to talk but I knew it was coming, I mean after all I was screaming my head off, and he didn't know why. Questions were unavoidable, I was going to have to explain to him why I was crying, I wasn't sure if I wanted to, but it seemed like I had no other choice.

"Care to explain? Why I just broke your door to get in?" His eyes were so red, and intense. His face held an expression that I hadn't seen before, confusion mixed with a little worry.

"Its not that big of a deal. Its over. The dreams over-"

"Don't give me that, Nez. People don't just scream for their lives over nothing." He said sternly, as he smoothed the hair out of my face. He was right though, I had probably screamed louder than I thought. But how could I possibly tell him that I was scared for my life? That the one person he trusted was trying to kill him? That's when I got the idea, that I wouldn't tell him but show him.

Slowly I lifted my hand and placed it on his cold cheek, and spilled the contents of my memory into him. Every detail, every word spoken. I tried to make it as real to him as it was for me, so he would understand. He just soaked it all in, concentrating with his eyes closed. I tried to read his expression as he images flew through, but got nothing, he was like a statue.

"Alec?" I whispered after I was finished. It was like he wasn't even there, like he was stuck in the dream himself, but I knew that was impossible. I reached over to touch his hand, trying to snap him out of it. I called his name multiple times until he finally flinched from me, his face suddenly serious. He didn't even look at me.

"That wont happen, Renesmee."

"I know that-"

"Because Aro…I'm like a son to him. The Volturi is my home and they would never do that." He turned to look at me, his voice was like he was trying to reassure himself rather than me. "Never."

I simply nodded.

After a few moments of silence, Alec finally got up from my bed, his face still blank. I didn't know what to say to him, or if I should say anything at all. For a moment I thought he was just going to leave and not say a word, but then he turned to look at me, his eyes blazing red, making my breathing become uneven at the sight.

"You should go to sleep, Renesmee. Go to sleep, the dreams over. The next time you start screaming for your life, make sure its for a good reason." He said harshly and walked out, stomping over the door that was on the ground.

I watched him walk away and felt pretty dumb for the situation. I didn't know why he was being so cruel, I guess he knew too the possibilities were there. That the ones he loved could kill him, I don't know how someone could live with that. But Alec did. As I though about his harsh words, the last thought that I had before I drifted into sleep was that we weren't in the real world anymore, we were back home, back where Alec hated me.

I woke up to see Alec sitting on my little table, reading a book, his legs resting on a footstool. He had a bored look on his face. Once my eyes were open I shot up, grabbing a blanket to cover myself. He smirked.

_Oh joy, the smirk is back. _

"Sleep well?" He said, his voice was cocky and arrogant, and he wasn't even talking about himself. In fact, I doubted if he cared if I slept well or not, I could just sense he was in that kind of mood. He just didn't care.

I got out of bed and stretched, yawning. Then suddenly, a scent hit me in the face like an invisible force. So strong, it made my nerves react. I looked at him, tilting my head, wondering if the scent was coming from him.

"What's that…what's that _smell?_" I said as I inhaled deeply. The smell was so luscious. It was like all the cells in my body were telling me to hunt, to find out what it was, and where it was coming from. I hadn't felt this way in a long time, and I just had to know, there was a need to know.

"Why does it smell…appealing, delicious…" He raised his eyebrows and leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees. "_Mouthwatering_?" The sound of his voice saying that word was lethal, and deadly. It made my whole body react to the sound, my heart of course started beating faster, because it was a traitor. My body in general was a traitor, giving everything away, while my mind was pissed at him for teasing me, another part of me wanted him to say more, in a low whisper. Over and over in my ear. It was like his voice controlled me, and I didn't like it. I wasn't his plaything, I wasn't even there for his pleasure, I was there for my own. I had to remind myself that. But my thoughts, and scent were all mixed together, it was making my head spin.

I stomped towards him and crossed my arms over my chest, which were also reacting to him. It made me sick. I mean it would make sense if we was acting like he was the other day, but he wasn't. He was a completely different person, the person I saw yesterday was no where to be found, and would probably never be seen again.

I narrowed my eyes to his face, not showing any fear. Though as I said before my body was a traitor, because as soon as he stood up to meet me face to face, my face heated up, and I knew I was blushing. His eyes then lit up with amusement, as he too crossed his arms. This was going to be fun.

"What is it, Alec? Just tell me."

"Why Nez, it's the most important meal of the day. Didn't dear ole' Bella teach you anything?" He said with a full on smile, I shook my head in disgust. I knew deep down what it was, but I was hoping I would be wrong. I guess my feelings got the best of me, because I was left disappointed. And the fact that he was making a joke out of it made my stomach turn.

"Oh of course. What was on the menu today, Alec? A two year old or wait…I know, it was a girl scout wasn't it? Probably didn't know what hit her, one minute she's handing out cookies, smiling and having a great time and then suddenly, bam!" I said empathizing my voice, clapping my hands together for effect. "She's dead…of course not before she feels the excruciating pain, because its not good if they don't let out a couple screams, right Alec? I mean with the mood your in today, I wouldn't be surprised if you went out and slaughtered the whole city."

Alec gasped dramatically and placed his hand over his chest, as if he was shocked. I knew better, he was being sarcastic. Though it didn't matter, I didn't hurt his feeling one bit.

"Be still, my unbeating heart. I think I just had a life altering moment, here. Renesmee, you are genius! If fact that's what I had planned for today, go out, kill a couple Nuns…what do you say? You and me? After all, I am a monster right?"

"That part you have down perfectly, you are a monster." I snapped, he just started to walk around my room, as if he didn't care about one word I said, that or he was pretending he didn't hear me. Either way, this argument was no where near finished, because I was disgusted. He was turning out to be exactly what my father painted for me, though he had respect for them. I was rapidly losing mine.

"Your just mad, because I got to have a little bit of blood, and your stuck with…_that_." He said, looking over at the plate of food he had brought me. I stomped over to it, being the drama queen that I now found myself to be today, though I didn't care. I wanted to piss him off. I took a bite out of the piece of bread, and chewed, making sounds of pleasure.

He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I'm sure that's exactly what you've been wanting all these years, nice bland…dirt." He said, his voice ever so calm. I threw down the rest of the roll and glared at him, picking up the glass of orange juice and gulped it. Alec raised one eyebrow, and I smirked back at him.

"Yummy." I said, slamming the glass on the table. He began to chuckle softly, enjoying his little joke, which is my existence.

"Oh, don't lie to yourself Nez. We both know, you want the real thing. There's no need to lie about it. Besides the fact that it tastes better, it has other perks too." In an instant, he was right in my face, and the famous smirk, yet again, was on his face. I wanted to slap it off, but I wasn't going to allow myself to touch him. "Don't judge me because your denying yourself what you want." He whispered, and then took a step back. He fixed the painting that was once again crooked, again with the one finger he used before. But this time I didn't find it sensual at all, I found it annoying.

"I'm strong enough to resist it, but you? Have you ever tried going without it? Its not as easy as it looks, it takes _effort_."

Alec turned to face me, his eyes narrowing. I guess he had caught on to the tone of my voice, because he now seemed defensive.

"Are you implying your stronger than me?"

"If the shoe fits…" I trailed off, putting my hands on my hips.

"Please, you wouldn't last one day in the real world, why do you think Aro sent me to be around you 24/7? To protect you."

That was it, I was done taking his crap. If he wanted to go down that road, and I wasn't sure why he was wanting to in the first place, I was ready. He infuriated me to no end. My fingers were clenching into my fist, I was sure that my teeth were showing, and I was probably hissing.

"Actually I just figured he wanted you to amuse me, in fact you and I both know that's why he keeps you around, for his ego. He just _loves_ knowing he has the worlds biggest _kiss-ass _on his staff." I stated harshly, looking at him straight in the eyes.

He seemed to be laughing softly, but the next thing I knew his hands were slamming me straight in the chest, I thought I was going to fall to the ground, but then I heard whoosh sound and my back slammed into his chest. He was right behind me now, his cold hands were pressed on my upper arms, and his lips were breathing cool air into my ear. My heart was pounding, I shivered from the fear and closeness of his body. It all happened so suddenly, I didn't expect it. His cold fingers trailed down my bare arms, as he whispered in a low, rough voice.

"You were saying?"

I gulped, and my chest was getting tighter and tighter. I was unsure of what to say, or if I should say anything at all. Everywhere his fingers trailed on my arms, nerves would react. My eyes were beginning to roll into the back of my head as he breathed on the back of my neck, blood was rushing through my veins. His trailed his fingers further down my arm slowly, as he did so, my body melted to his touch. His fingers gazed across my breasts, making them feel like rock, my nipples welcomed his interaction. My knees were wobbling a little, like they were going to give in. My skin was tingling with anticipation, as I inhaled deeply, once to taste the scent of the human blood that was coming off him. My center was drenched with need. I was losing my cool, he had me in the palms of his hands, and could do anything he pleased, I wouldn't have objected. That was until he spoke, and ruined everything.

"Poor little Nessie, can't figure out what she wants. Though at this moment I pretty much have a clear image of what will drive her over the edge…"

This was it. He crossed the line, he knew I hated that name and he used it anyway. I could take it from my family, but hearing him say it made me furious beyond belief. The rage was more than I could handle, I was so mad I was pretty sure I was turning red. I swiftly turned around to face him and gave him an evil glare. I knew I said I wouldn't touch him, that I wouldn't lower myself to that, but he had it comin' to him. I quickly raised my leg, to fast for human eyes to notice, and shoved in right in the chest with my foot. It sounded like someone had punched pavement. He flew backwards onto my bed, and before he could get up, or even say a word, I was straddled him. I placed one of my hands on his shoulder and the other on his neck, holding him in place. I hissed in his face, to show him my annoyance, he only chuckled in pleasure.

"What has gotten into you? You were fine until-"

"Until what, Nez?" He interrupted, placing his hands on my bare outer thighs. As soon as his cold skin touched mine, I was suddenly fully aware of what I was wearing, which was hardly anything. I had on a short, silk, thin nightgown. And since I was straddling him, it was riding way up to my hips. His hands moved up and down, almost like he was massaging me. It felt arousing. Very arousing. To the point where I was about to give in, but I was still too mad.

"What happened to that barrier we set? Huh, Alec? It was what I wanted."

"Well, that's kind of shot to hell now, don't you think?" He said while his eyes were gazing my body, studying me. "Besides, I'm thinking that there's something else your wanting right now just a _little bit more._" He whispered, moving my hand that was gripped on his neck, he didn't let go of it though, he simply leaned towards me, his eyes starting to close. My heart felt like it was dancing in my chest, breathing in his scent mixed in with the blood was intoxicating. I sucked in the air that was coming from his mouth, inch by inch he was getting closer as his head tilted to meet me. I was going to give in, I was going to kiss the angel's lips. They were full, red and ready, as were mine. Until suddenly he whispered in a warning voice.

"Aro…"

My eyes shot open and I looked at him, confused. The corner if his eyes were looking in the direction of the door, I followed. And sure enough, Aro stood there. As soon as my eyes landed on Aro, Felix and Demitri, Alec pushed me off, making me fall off the bed all together. I yelped as I slammed to the ground. Staying there, as Alec composed himself.

I looked up to see if Aro was angry, but all I saw was joy. I crawled over to the chair which my robe was laying, and as quickly as I could, covered myself.

"Sorry for intruding, the door was…open." He said, looking at the door that was on the ground, it was still in pieces from the night before. I looked at the faces on either side of me, Alec's face as if he was about to be grounded, and Aro's.

"You can blame that one on Alec." I said, pointing my thumb at him like I was a normal five year old tattle tailing.

As I was tying the straps on my robe, still on the floor, I suddenly felt Alec's two firm hands lifting me by the shoulders, effortlessly of course.

"That wont do, now will it?" He sighed, still looking down at the door. "Demitri, would you be as so kind as to see to the door?"

"Yes, Master." Demitri replied obediently, picking up the pieces from the floor.

I haven't heard them call Aro "Master." At least not from Alec, maybe it was just a Demitri thing.

Aro gave me a wicked smile that made my skin crawl, he began to circle the room, like Alec had done. Only Aro moved slower. This was his house after all, but still apart of me felt violated. Especially with the scene that he had just walked in on. After a few moments from awkward staring, and apologies Aro found not needed from Alec, Aro finally told me why he had come to my room in the first place. Which is a party.

"September 10th would be the date."

"September 10th? That's my birth-"

"Of course, did you think we would not celebrate our guest's birthday? The date that she's finally considered an adult." Aro said, clapping his hands together in excitement. For some reason I think he more looking forward to my adulthood than I was myself. I tried in imagine a big party in the Volturi's home, but I couldn't place it. Would there be balloons? Cake? Presents I didn't ask for? Though it did get me a little excited, that was until Aro spoke and ruined my fantasy for the party.

"An escort for you will be expected of course." I then started choking on my own air. He wanted someone to _escort _me? I wasn't the smartest person in the room, but I knew what an escort was, it was a date. They wanted me to bring a _date_ to the party? Aro of the Volturi wanted to friggin date! And he would be watching, whoever the date was, and I? Who was I suppost to choose from? All of the Volturi were old and most of them looked at least thirty! That is except for..

_Oh my-_

"Alec? Can I discuss something with you, in private?" Alec nodded and turned to look at me, with a smirk on his face, I scowled at him as Aro told Felix to watch me.

"Yes, Master." Felix replied, all serious.

Well I guess it isn't just a Demitri thing, it was a Volturi thing.

After Aro had left the room, Alec gave me one more glance and with a wink, he left.

Felix, very seriously walked across the room. I wondered if he too was in a bad mood.

"Renesmee.." I shuttered to think what he was going to say next, because was so serious, and emotionless. But then his whole face lit up as he rolled his eyes and plopped himself down on the bed, all relaxed, as if he had been there millions of times. "Nice pad, eh? Yeah sometimes I sneak in here, for peace and quiet, that was until you came in here and snored up a storm."

"Excuse me?" I asked, utterly confused.

Felix roughed up my head with his hand, and laughed.

"I'm just messin' with you, kid. Take a joke…seems like you've been hanging out with Al too much lately. He has that effect on people. Now go get dressed, I'm busting you out of this joint!" He said as I went to go get my clothes that I had laid out. I really needed to do my laundry.

"So why did Aro ask you to baby-sit me?" I asked.

"What can I say? When Alec goes away, Felix comes to play!" He said enthusiastically. I laughed and shook my head. This was the hardest I have laughed since I got here. Something about Felix and the way he held himself together reminded me of someone back home, whom I was starting to miss terribly.

I went into the bathroom and started to change.

"So, what's up with Alec, anyways? He seems really pissy today, like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed without actually sleeping." I asked through the closed door as I took off my nightgown, looking for my bra.

Felix's voice carried across the room, so I had no problem hearing him.

"Ah Al's just in a bad mood because of some dream, which confuses me to no end considering the kid hasn't had a dream in like what, a thousand years? Seems pretty weird that a dream would be bothering these years all these years later, the boy has problems, man, that's all I have to say." I nearly fell to the ground when I heard what Felix said. Dream? Alec told him about the dream? Was that really what was bugging him? My stupid nightmare? The more I thought about it the more I was confused, why would that upset him? So much to where he was joking about killing someone in front of me? And then I realized that was probably the most realistic dream he had ever heard of, and I showed him images of what happened. He pretty much experienced his own death, in a sense. Figures.

"Little Nez? You still uh, alright?" Felix called, after moments of me being silent, I had forgot to answer him.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Finally after getting dressed, I walked out into the room. Felix looked at my outfit and nodded in approval, not that I needed it. I was wearing a Marilyn Monroe shirt, pink sweat pants and black flip flips. I was going for comfort, and I think Felix realized that.

"Lets get outta here" Felix said as I followed.

After following Felix around for a few minutes I noticed he was taking me to on some kind of tour around the home. He showed me rooms I hadn't seen, and cracked jokes on the way, making me laugh uncontrollably. He really was completely different from Alec, so loose and free, though I'm not entirely free. It made me wonder how one such as himself would come to the Volturi.

We eventually came upon a door that had a letter carved into it. The letter 'A'.

It shocked me a bit, I didn't know that they labeled their rooms, but I guess it made sense, it wasn't like they were going anywhere. Least of all Alec.

"Is this…?"

"Alec's little dorm, yep. Would you like to go in?" He asked with a mischievous smile on his face, encouraging me to say yes. Not that I was objecting to the idea, I had been curious what his room looked like, though I didn't think I'd get the chance to see it.

"Are we allowed?"

"Pssh, you think that little letter is going to keep me out?" He said and opened the door, letting me go in first.

Alec's room was huge, and everywhere wall had shelves, and every shelf had books on it. He had a chaise lounge couch, made out of leather, He also had a desk, which was bare except for a small lamp, but I had a feeling the drawers were filled with stuff. I was so tempted to go snooping, but I couldn't with Felix standing right there, watching my every move. It was impossible. This was pretty much it, there was a few paintings and a mirror on one of the walls, but this about it.

"Well, this is about the most boring room ever, lets go." Felix said suddenly, chuckling as we walked down the hallway. He stopped at another door, this one had a 'F' carved into it.

"F for the _fun _room." He stated, amusing himself. He slowly opened the door, and I swear I felt like Charlie from Willy Wonka when he opens the door to the chocolate room. I could basically hear the choir singing, from the amazement that was this room. It was completely different from every room in the entire place, it was _normal_, for the most part.

I saw a TV, a DVD player, a stereo, shelves filled with CD's, it was heaven. Technology, and the best kind.

"Felix, you have no idea how badly I want to hug you right now." I said, still taking it all in.

"Well, I am single.." Felix joked, rubbing the back of his neck. I rolled my eyes at him and walked further into the room. As I looked around, Felix opened up a closet that was full of movies. I gasped and ran over there, scanning the DVD's like a little fan girl. I'd never seen a collection like this, he had movies from Zorro to freaking Becoming Jane, he was officially my hero.

"How long do you think Alec will be with Aro?" I asked.

"No telling how long these things last, kid. It varies." His voice was more serious than before, it actually caught me off guard, what with him cracking jokes left and right, hearing this tone shocked me.

"Well in the meantime can I watch one of these?" I asked hopefully, giving him my innocent face, it didn't take long for him to crack.

"Sure, I suppose its alright. Take your pick." He said, gesturing to the mountain of movies. After scanning more, I finally made up my mind, and settled for 17 Again, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. I was never a fan of Zac Efron, even back when he was popular. His High School Musical days were over by far.

But I quickly changed my mind about the movie once it started, it was funny as crap. Matthew Perry is pure genius, and the character Ned is just flat out amazing, I laughed hysterically every time he said something.

"Peacocking? I think even Alec would laugh at that." I said between giggles.

"Alec doesn't laugh.." Felix whispered back, rolling his eyes.

"Well I made him laugh yesterday."

"_No_, are you kidding me? I've been trying all these years to get a chuckle and you got him in like, what? A day? Beginner's luck." I smiled and continued to watch the movie. Such a predictable ending, but cute non the less. As the credits rolled in at the end, I decided to ask Felix a question, I'm not sure where the urge came from, but I figured I had to know how they got along since I was going to be around them both a while.

"So, how long have you known each other?"

"Oh, since the burning. He really is such a tight ass, I can't believe you got him to laugh! You should have took a picture, this sort of thing hasn't happened since…ever."

I froze.

_The what?_

Did he just say the word burning? What burning? What did Alec do, burn his house down before he was changed? It didn't make any sense.

"Burning? What do you mean?"

Felix's face was confused, like he thought I already knew.

"You know….you don't do you?" He realized.

_I knew it._

So I was right, Alec was a big fat liar! His mother probably wasn't even a Betty Crocker wannabe! I mean, he said he had a uninteresting life. But call me crazy, burning seems a little interesting to me! I was fuming. The rage I had earlier was back, and I wanted to crack his head with my bare hands. After everything he put me through, trying to kiss me and everything, Felix just confirmed I didn't know anything about him! But whose fault was that? I asked a question and usually when people ask something they get answers, but did I get an answer? No. Like always, its always sugarcoated, like everything else in my life.

Protect Nessie.

Shelter Nessie.

Walk on eggshells around Nessie.

_Lie_ to Nez.

Oh I was going to hurt him when I saw him.

I got up and stomped out the door and into the hall.

"Whoa! Where you going, Little Nez?" He said following me, walking backwards, not caring if he hit anything. I didn't give him one glance, I had a mission, and that was to get answers.

"To kill Alec, you wont miss him much will you, Felix?" I asked casually, as if I was telling him I was on my way to Starbucks.

"Kill him? Well good luck with finding fire logs this time of night. And can I ask why Alec should be running for his life? Just so I know what my alibi is." Felix asked, turning to walk next to me, like he was my right hand in command. I wont lie, from the looks of his muscles he would come in handy. Not that he would ever lay a hand on Alec, they had known each other since the _burning._ So you know they have to be close. I just nearly made out with the guy and I don't know crap.

"I asked him a simple question, Felix, a simple question! But no, he had to lie to me, because telling the truth just makes things complicated."

"And what did you ask him, exactly?"

"I asked him what his family was like-"

"You did what?! Have you not met Jane? Do you need to reminded? Jane's one crazy Broad! I wouldn't ever cross that chick! And your wanting to get to know her?" He asked, clearly thinking I was insane.

"Not her, him!"

"Alec and Jane are like two peas in a pod, a packaged deal. Like buy one get one free, you gotta have it. Mac and cheese, burgers and fries, peanut butter and jelly." He kept giving analogies, but after the burgers and fries one, I pretty much tuned him out, though a burger did sound good. But still! I had to focus. I glanced in every room we passed, to see if he was there, he never was. And I was screwed. But I wouldn't give up, I would find him eventually, or he would find me, which I knew he would. Aro said he was my guardian, I'll see him sooner or later. For his sake later, because when I did see him, I was going to twist off his limbs like a pretzel. Then again maybe I was acting too hasty, burning could mean anything, right? I'm over exaggerating, I knew it, but he said his life an uninteresting, but the way Felix made it sound, it was different. There was clearly something I didn't know.

"Anyways, why do you even care if he lied? I mean it happened how long ago?" He asked, not getting my insane behavior. "Oh I get it, you have a crush." He declared, smiling to himself.

"I do _not_ have a crush on Alec!" I snapped defensively, now lying myself. It wasn't a crush, it was a fascination, a sick, wrong fascination. Crushes were things people had for celebrities, this was different.

"Then why are you looking for him like he's a Easter egg filled with a five dollar bill?" He raised one of his eyebrows.

He had a point.

Damnit.

Did I like him? I really hadn't known him that long, not even a week. All I knew about him was that he was cocky, he had a sister, was a Volturi guard and was highly respected by others, and he was tempting. So tempting. I lusted after him, that was a fact. Was I on my way to liking him? Very. Which kind of scared me, because I knew that it would never be able to work out.

As I was about to answer Felix on another analogy, Demitri snuck up behind like wind, not seen, not heard, but felt.

"Felix, Aro wishes for your presence." Demitri said without emotion, Demitri was seriously on the path to being a major creeper. If he wasn't already. I moved towards Felix a little bit, just for safety reasons.

"Sure thing, Demitri." Felix said, starting to walk away. As he did, he turned around and mouthed the words: We'll talk later.

Which made me scared, because I knew what topic he was wanting to discuss. Alec.

I decided to give up my search party, as I said before, he'll come to me, like always.

And I was right too, a few hours later.

I was lying on my bed, reading the fourth book in the Vampire Academy series: Blood Promise. I didn't know why I read Vampire books when I had a family full of them, real ones. Not to mention here as well, but the series itself. The relationship between Dimitri and Rose was romantic, the forbidden type, I always loved it when he called her Roza. On the other hand, there was Adrian. A cocky, no good Vampire, kind of reminded me of someone. I saw a lot of myself in Rose Hathaway, considering she was a half breed like me, only in her world, they were everywhere. Sometimes I wish it was like that in my world, because then I would be considered normal, and I wasn't.

I was at the part right after Dimitri kidnapped Rose, trying to remind her of what they did in the cabin together, when suddenly the Adrian of my life walked in.

I pretended I didn't hear him come in, and continued to stare at the page that was in front of me, not actually reading anymore.

Alec slowly walked in front of me, staring. I could feel his intense gaze building, I could just see the smirk forming now at that moment.

"Renesmee…"

I didn't answer.

"Are you still soar about earlier and my behavior?"

I still didn't look at him, I just locked my eyes on one the words printed out.

"If you didn't get the hint, this is the part where I ignore you. I believe that's your cue, as I recall, you know where the door is." I smirked a smirk of my own now.

I heard him sigh.

"That's unfortunate, seeing as how I brought a peace offering."

"Unless it's a bat that I can hit you with, I'm not interested. But it's a sweet gesture." I said in a bitchy voice. He didn't know when to give up, did he?

The words I was looking at on the page were starting to bleed together, but I didn't care, I'd rather have a headache than look at him, because if I did I was going to blow a fuse, and I was tired.

He snatched the book out of my hands, looked at the cover, rolled his eyes and put it down on the nightstand.

"Hey-"

"You _sure_ you don't want what I have to offer?" He said as if it were a last chance offer.

"Anything you have to give me? No."

"Fine, if that's what you want." He said, pulling out something from behind his back. A huge, clear glass filled with blood. I sniffed instinctively, it wasn't animal blood either. My mouth started to water.

"Wait! Ugh." I reached out for it, but he pulled his arm back before I could grab it. He smiled a evil smile.

"Say please…" He said, his eyes baring into me.

_I will not give in, I will not give in, I-_

Oh it smelled so good.

I was growing frustrated more and more by the second. One part of me was wanting to get on my hands and knees and beg at his feet for it, and the side with dignity told me to just go back to my book and ignore him again. The weak side won.

"Fine. Please?" I asked.

He shook his head, disappointed. He have me a weary smile, as if he knew I would cave it. Bastard.

I don't know how you could be attracted to someone who played with your emotions like a string puppet, but I was. At that moment, I was indeed.

"Say it like you mean it, Nez. If not I could always drain it down the sink?" He suggested, starting to walk towards the bathroom. My eyes widened with fear.

"NO! Okay, okay, Alec. Please? _Pretty_ please! With a friggin cherry on top, please!" I raised my voice, full on begging as I feared I would.

After what seemed hours of him contemplating his final decision, hesitating on his next move, he _finally _handed it to me, a soft smile on his face as he did so.

"See, now was that so hard?" He asked, as I snatched the glass from him, pulling it to my chest possessively. I was about to gulp it down within a second, like it was a glass of orange juice in the morning. But then I stopped, and looked up at him.

"Wait, who'd you kill?"

"Am I so cruel and unusual that I would kill?" He said, his hand going to his heart once again. He was such a drama queen today, who was he going to be tomorrow? Nancy Drew?

I nodded at him.

"Who was it?" I asked again.

"Her name _is _Mia, she works here as a maid, in hopes of being immortal. She was more than willing to donate to the cause."

I tried to picture an Italian girl, sitting in a chair, a needle in her arm, knowing someone was going to drink it? Poor thing.

Alec started walking around my room, in circles, his favorite shape. No one had any originality around here, except for Felix, he just watches TV. It would be considered normal if he was human, but he wasn't. Maybe I should consider asking Aro if Felix can be my guardian instead. Thinking of Felix reminded me of someone who needed to have his ass kicked.

"So, Felix was fun today. He likes to tell stories.." I began, still looking at my glass. He really didn't tell me a story, but Alec got the point. Something was up. And I wasn't going to take this line down.

"Felix loves to talk, what idea's did he plant in that head of yours?"

I started to laugh, and stirred the blood in the glass with my finger. I slid myself over to the edge of the bed, and crossed my legs. I was wearing the exact same nightgown that I was earlier.

"Silly little Vampire, not ideas. Facts! Like the fact that something was burning when you met, and the way he said it gives me the idea that it wasn't just your finger." I said, and his face turned from cocky to annoyed within a second. A-ha! I was on the right track.

"Don't worry Alec, I'll take it easy on you tonight, because I'm exhausted. But don't think this is the end, eventually I will find out. Sooner or later, you going to crack.." I whispered, and put my whole forefinger that was covered with blood in my mouth, sucking on it. I made sounds of pleasure as I did so, closing my eyes as if I was in ecstasy. I looked back up at him, and his whole posture was like a statue, his lips were in a thin line, his hands in fists, and his eyes were studying my every movement.

He then leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"We'll see about that." He paused, keeping himself there. I was frozen, waiting for him to leave. He didn't. "Goodnight, Renesmee." With that he got up and walked out. Once he was out the door I could breath again, because the whole time he was doing that all I could think about was earlier when I was on top of him. His hands on my thighs, how cool and hot it made me feel all at the same time. I had to push that aside though, besides I was on a mission. I was going to find out who he was, and if I had to act like a slut to do it, then that was the price I was willing to pay. Before I leave to go back home, I was to know him.

Speaking of home…

"I should really call my parents."

* * *

**Writer's Note: *sighs* Cece is a Nazi with these updates man! She's obsessed I tell you! What can we tell you about this chapter? Sorry if it doesn't make sense, because we stayed up until 4 AM writing...yeaaah...O_O We hope you like it, show it some love, we think it deserves a little. Look at the profile for the goodies..and yeah Happy Halloween! Hope yours is awesome! :D**

**~C/T**


	8. Chapter 8: Foreplay at its Best

**Chapter 8: Foreplay at it's Best**

**Alec's POV**

Renesmee hasn't found out anything for which I am grateful. She has begged, practically on her hands and knees to 'know' me and my background but I've given her nothing. It's gotten to the point where whenever she asks a question, I'd leave in the other direction within vamp speed. It's not that I don't want her to know anything about me, it's just certain things, would cause one to pity another. I don't do pity. In fact, I hate it with a passion. The world wasn't made for people to have a pity party in. besides, the last person I wanted pity from was Renesmee Cullen. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she wanted to know me so badly, it doesn't make sense. It's not like her feelings about me would change the slightest. She'd still hate me to the end of the world. Of course my mood hadn't helped on that matter. I've been nothing but ruthless to the girl. Though in my defense I have my reasons. One being that stupid, childish nightmare of hers. To say it scared me would be considered dumb. To say it shocked me was more closer to the truth, and why?

Because deep inside, I know the possibilities of that dream coming true were very high. Especially since Nez and I seem to grow closer within the hours. I have witness far to many things from Aro to be naïve about his and my relationship. I know why he wants me and Jane here, and I understand completely. He's my sire after all. I am loyal to him and Jane and no one else. The fact that my feelings for Nez has grown to respect makes me quite worried, so the last thing I needed was a half-breed Cullen showing me what's likely to happen if anything more happens between us. Not that I would allow it of course.

Though our meetings like the one in her bedroom would suggest other wise. I had her. Eating at the palm of my hand, her thighs at my finger tips and her breath in my mouth. Her silk night gown was the shortest thing I ever laid eyes on, and was riding up her hip as she straddled me. Even now as I walk down this hall way, I have the urge to turn around and take her, to make her mine, and pray to god she was a moaner. Her skin was soft like silk. Her mouth was full and beckoned me for a kiss. Being attracted to her was causing my body meltdowns every time she was near me now. I had to constantly remind myself not to touch her, though now and days it was getting harder and harder. I couldn't deny even if I wanted too that I was headed for dangerous waters with Nez here. That if I sank further there would be no turning back, but yet Aro insisted that I bed her for the coven's sake, but my deepest fear would be that if I were to succeed, if I were to pleasure her that I wouldn't control the aftermath.

_God, I'm screwed._

I have to stop this. I have to stop everything that's happening before anything is too late. Even if I wanted to so badly, I had to be strong. I had to have willpower. But then I think about Aro and what he had said to me, after he had caught me and Renesmee on her bed, which was humiliating on many levels.

Aro had walked silently with me to the throne room, I didn't know what expect. I never knew what was going on inside that head, that evil genius head of his that never stopped.

Once we had finally gotten there, I saw Marcus and Caius waiting for us. Caius looked like he usually did, unpleased. But Marcus however, looked concerned. This confused me to no end, what would he be worried about? If I only knew what was to come.

"Alec," Aro began, his eyes looking me up and down as if he was about to regret everything that he had planned, holding his hands together as he always did.

"Marcus has sensed something, something quite disturbing to say the least…" He had stated, standing in the middle of the other two, who were both watching me like a hawk, waiting for my reaction.

"I don't understand what you mean, Aro-"

"_Master_." He corrected, sharpening his tone. His eyes intense to make a point.

"This is exactly what we're concerned about. Ever since the Cullen girl has gotten here, you've seemed to be a little too distracted. Not only that, but Marcus is sensing a change. A change between the both of you, and its not what I had wanted. I said for you to seduce the girl, convince her to join our coven, I did not, however, plan for you to actually develop _feelings _for Renesmee Cullen."

My mouth dropped, and I was completely dumbfounded. He thought I had feelings for her. In fact, he was sure of it. But this was news to me, because I didn't have feelings for her, not like that. How could I? It was impossible. She was a _Cullen_, she might as well be from a different planet than myself. I am however man enough to admit that what I felt for her was lust, a lot of it, but It didn't go beyond that, I wouldn't let it go beyond that. I respected her, I might even admire her a little, but I was not in love with her. What's there to love? Just a quirky, silly little hybrid who is making my life hell out of pleasure. I mean, a beautiful hybrid, yes more beautiful then any other creature I had ever laid eyes on but that's just a fact. Everyone thought so, even when she was young, and that opinion alone did not make one fall for another. Attraction doesn't cause love, it causes crushes. Did I have a crush on Nez?

_Shit. _

I couldn't even understand How could Marcus sense something like this so soon? Was it the flirtation? I mean, Aro again and again has hounded me to sleep with the girl, maybe Marcus was sensing that, and it was all in our minds. Maybe I just think I had a crush on her.

Yeah, that's definitely it. It's not real.

"Master, please believe me, if I had any feelings at all for her, they are but a size of a seed, they can't do any harm."

"Seeds grow Alec, they grow, form roots, and spread to create life, until finally we have a forest on our hands, I can't take the chances of it growing, beyond our control."

I looked down ashamed of myself. I should of known this plan would backfire, and I was being naïve of my feelings for her. I had thought I would control everything and please everyone but now? It seemed like everyone agreed it was becoming impossible.

"Shall we get someone else?" Caius had said, with a grin to his face. "Perhaps someone with more experience on the subject?"

My eyes widen at the realization of what this meeting was about. Replacing? With whom? Renesmee wouldn't even talk to anyone else she does with me, but that's not even the biggest reason for my demise of the new idea. I couldn't even bare it. I wont let them replace me with someone else. I couldn't fathom the idea of someone else trying to seduce her, to touch her, to even look at her that way. The thought alone made my mouth fill with venom, ready for attack. I would not be replaced.

"No!" I protested. All three of them, including Aro's personal guard Renata, looked at me with shocked expressions on their faces, not expecting me to talk back. Hell I didn't expect me to talk back either, but I had too. There was no way. I was to close now to even back away, besides the ideas of another coming into her room, Nez would wonder why wouldn't she? Why she needed a new guardian? It just wasn't possible. Though somehow I don't think Aro and the others would see it that way. But I had to try.

"Forgive me, I only meant that it wont be necessary. Please, I just need time, that's all.

Aro studied me, contemplating on what he should do. He glanced back Marcus, in his own silent way he was asking his opinion.

"It wont matter either way. Let Alec or let somebody else do it, it'll still be a wasted effort, Aro." Marcus said, in his usual bored tone of voice.

"Why do you say that, brother?" Aro asked, tilting his head as if to get a better listen to what Marcus had too say.

"Renesmee Cullen is not going to part with her family, surly you know this." Marcus stated.

Though I didn't want to be replaced, Marcus had a point. I also knew that Aro's plans were ridiculous, heck I thought him opening his arms to her when she first got here was beyond his character, so hearing the words come out of Marcus's mouth wasn't that surprising to me, because I agreed with them, though no one ever listens to what I have to say on the matter.

Aro looked from Marcus back to Caius as if Caius's opinion would be the deal breaker on this whole ordeal.

It did no good.

"Do what you please, Aro. It honestly doesn't matter to me whether or not a half breed decides to stay here." Caius said in a cold tone of voice a glare in his eyes. I turned to look at Aro for the final word, he only sighed, and looked at me dead in the eyes making me think back to Nez's dream. The stupid dream, I shook my head and pushed it in the back of my head."I swear, I won't let you down." I pleaded, hoping he would give me another chance.

He thought about it for a few more moments, and finally nodded.

"Do not disappoint me." Was all he said, and I felt a gush of relief go through me. I thanked him, stepped over to where he was standing and kissed the back of his hand.

After the important meeting, I walked back to my post, as if the meeting never happened. As if it was every other day.

So, here I am, two days later, Nez still hadn't gotten anything out of me. I wasn't going to give in to her wishes, because I was in trouble enough with Aro as it was, and if I were to tell her, she'd give me that face that would make me feel like she cared about me, and that, I didn't need. she already knew enough about me as it was anyways, I didn't need to add a log to the fire. As I replayed the meeting with Aro in my head, I walked back to my room, after serving Renesmee her "dinner". But after I had arrived in my room I was tempted to turn around and go back out, but heard a cold, familiar voice come out of my room. I stopped and looked inside.

"Something your wanting to tell me, brother?" Jane asked, sitting at my desk, her arms resting on it. Her eyebrows were raised, her lips were tight, and I knew I was in for it.

"I don't have the slightest idea of what your talking about." I said, crossing my arms, and leaned against a wall.

"Do not lie to me, Alec. I can read you better than I can read a book. I've heard about how Marcus had been sensing something between you…and the _half-breed._" She spat, and it felt like a sting. I didn't know why, but it offended me to no end that she would call her that. It was true, that I had called her a half breed myself, but that was before I had known her a little better.

"Marcus was mistaken."

She sighed and got up from the desk, walking closer to me.

"He is never mistaken, just like I'm never mistaken. I know there is something not right about you two. Everyone knows, its all the guard can talk about! How do you think it makes me feel? Hearing about how my _brother_, having a little crush on a Cullen!?" She practically yelled, raising her arms in the air dramatically.

I wish everyone would stop accusing me of this.

I stepped closer to Jane, and looked fiercely down at her.

"I do not, nor will I ever, have feelings of any kind for Renesmee Cullen. I am her guard, Jane. And you don't make it simple, with you nagging me every chance you get to demand how _your _plan is going. Its hard enough, having Aro watch our every move, waiting for his own task to done!" I spat back.

Jane flinched as if I had slapped her hard in the face, and a look of anger mixed with confusion spread to her eyes.

It was not my intention to offend her, it was the last thing I would ever want to do, but she needed to back off, and let me do this my own way. I was so confused about how I was going to do what Aro wanted, and trying to please Jane as well when apparently both seemed impossible. I had always been the "go to boy." But I had never had this much on my plate, I had never been this pressured. It was too much, seeing Renesmee everyday, tempting me more than I would like, seeing Aro displeased on how progress is coming along, and Jane complaining about how things are not going her way. I couldn't do anything right, not for anyone, not even myself.

Jane was still staring at me with wide, shocked eyes, that quickly narrowed.

"Just don't forget who you are, Alec. You will never be anything else, you will never leave your coven. Your family." She stated firmly, her eyes intense.

"How could I forget, sister? With you there always reminding me of my loyalties?" I asked in a sarcastic tone of voice. She continued to glare at me, like she couldn't believe I wasn't agreeing with her. What she didn't know, was that I disagreed with her on a lot of things, I had just never said anything about it. But I was not going to stand her and let her walk all over me. She was not my keeper.

"I don't like the way your speaking to me." Jane said in a testy voice, raising her eyebrows.

I nodded. Walked over to _my_ desk, sat down, and lounged back with my hands behind my head, I looked up at her as if I was finally relaxing with a smirk to my lips.

"Then can I give you some advice? Shut up, mind your own damn business and get out of my room!" I snarled at her. I had never said anything like that to her in all the years we've been together, and to be truthful, it felt good. I felt free, though I loved my sister like no one else in the world, and never thought I'd say such harsh words, it felt liberating, to hear them come out of my own mouth. Though by the look on Jane's face, she didn't agree.

Her eyes blazed with rage, narrowing into two slits.

"Your going to regret saying that." She threatened, her teeth clenched and her nostrils flared. I never seen my sister so upset, but to be honest I found it amusing. Was this what everyone was scared of? I mean, I suppose if I were anyone but her brother I would be worried, but lucky for me, I wasn't. Jane knew I loved her, and now she knew the line was to be drawn between us.

Some would call it tough love I suppose.

"You know the way out." I gestured to the door.

She growled, then disappeared. I had never been more happy to see Jane leave in my existence. It seemed like more and more lately we were staring to act like typical siblings, and it wasn't until after she left the room that I began to wonder why, after all these centuries did I feel the need to be my own person. I had no desire too before, still

Even though I really didn't care about what she had to say and it felt go to have her leave, something she did say was still replaying in my head.

_You will never be anything else, you will never leave your coven. Your family._

For some reason, that statement bothered me. It offended me, as if she was in charge of me. I loved my sister dearly, but she didn't own me, no one owned me. It was my choice to stay with the Volturi, I owed it to Aro. It was my choice, I had a choice. Didn't I?

Suddenly a flashback of Nez's dream invaded my mind once again. I hissed out loud, trying to push it away. I couldn't think about that. I can't have it run my life.

So instead of retiring for the night, like I should have, I went to go check on Renesmee. I know she didn't need it, but I wanted to. Because honestly, I had nothing better to do.

I knocked on her door, but didn't get a reply.

_Oh great, she's ignoring me. Again. _

I knocked again and called her name, but still no answer. I rolled my eyes and let myself in, only to find her gone. I looked in the bathroom, but she wasn't there either.

Suddenly I was feeling that damn emotion again. Panic. Where was she? She didn't leave, because her things were still scattered throughout the room, but I didn't want her wandering the halls of this place by herself. We were a coven of Vampire's after all, and god knows what Jane would do if she got the chance to get Renesmee by herself.

Without hesitating, I started following her scent. I followed and I followed until I reached the hole.

Great, she was going off into town.

I jumped up through the hole into the alley, and started tracing the scent again. I kept doing this until I finally found her.

She was in a phone booth, talking on the phone looking annoyed. She had my worried sick because she had to call someone? She couldn't have just asked me herself to escort her to the damn payphone? Of course she didn't, she thought she could handle herself. For some reason, I highly doubted she could.

I stomped over to her. She rolled her eyes the instant they saw me, and her posture stiffened.

"You think you can just leave without-" I started to hiss, but was quickly hushed by her hand over my mouth. I was surprised by the sudden contact, so warm and soft. It sent chills down my body, and in that moment all I wanted to do was suck the warmness out of her fingers. The last time we had touched was two days ago, so having her do this to me was making my mouth water, I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent. I was a pansy. How could something so simple make me feel like this? Damn it, I had to stay in control. I had to focus, But just feeling her skin on mine drove me crazy and I didn't care about anything at the moment, only how it felt. After a few moments, I took a step inside the booth and closed the door. Leaving us trapped in the tiny space. She didn't acknowledge it.

"Shhh!!! I'm talking here!" She whispered angrily, taking her hand away and tried shoving me away, her eyes were burning with annoyance, I was like a tiny moth to her flame of passion. She was angry at me for interrupting her chat, but I didn't care. I liked getting her worked up, even though I shouldn't, it was in a odd way a turn on. As she tried to push me out of the booth, she failed horribly.

This time I just rolled my eyes and leaned against the glass, giving her a smirk, which made her fume. I do enjoy my job. Well, this part. I listened in carelessly to whom was so important for phone call at this hour, when I heard a familiar voice.

Good God.

"Your just _now_ getting concerned about them?" I said, not whispering. Honestly, I didn't care if they heard me or not. In my eyes, they were just a bunch of children. I wasn't threatened at all, though it did irritate me beyond belief that Bella could block other vampire's abilities. But even then, I wasn't scared of a seven year old vampire.

I turned my attention back to Renesmee, and listened in on her call as she gave me one quick shove, I didn't flitch.

As Nez's big doe like eyes stared me down, it felt as though the booth itself was getting smaller. With finally the trance that held us was broken.

"Renesmee?!"

"I'm here, Rose." Nez replied, glaring at me. I smirked back and turned my back to her, as if to give her privacy, those she and I both knew that was impossible, from what I gathered she was talking to Rosalie. All I can really remember about Rosalie is that everyone prided her -including herself-.

about her beauty. I'll admit, she was attractive, but I never saw the awe and wonder. She just looked like another average vampire to me, she had curves, but nothing appealing to my eyes,

"Pass the phone over here!" I heard male voice demand, I could only imagine to be Emmett. It was like I could physically see him now. His muscular frame, and a childlike expression on his face as he begged to talk to his beloved niece, only to get a glare from Rosalie.

Poor guy.

I looked back to see Renesmee's face, she smiled slightly at the sound of his voice, seeing her smile like that made my stomach flip a little, which in turn made me sick. I leaned close to listen, which resulted in Nez turning away from me with a evil glare. I didn't care one bit.

"No, Emmett!" I heard Rosalie yell. "Listen Renesmee, you have two options, A: Tell us where you are so we can come get you, or B: Come home. Immediately! Do you have any idea what you've put us though? Bella is worried sick, Edward is going mad, The Mutt is drooling all over the place, whining! And poor Esme is beside herself!" Rosalie snapped harshly.

Nez's face looked more than guilty, she looked like she was bound to start crying. And even though I didn't want to be, I was infuriated with Rosalie. It wasn't her goal to hurt her family, even I knew that.

Renesmee was struggling for words, and it only took her eyes to start glistening with tears to drive me over the edge. My mind went into over-drive, I was no longer held responsible for what I wanted to do. I wanted to end her misery. Instead, I snatched the phone out of her hands, and put it to my ear without even thinking of the out come, all I knew was, I had to make the tears stop.

"Hello, Rosalie.."

Renesmee's eyes widened with fear, and she tried desperately to take the phone from me, but I was too strong. She slapped my arm, as she tried to grabbed the phone, but I only shoved her away.

"Give it to me!" She yelled.

"Who the hell is this?" Rosalie demanded. Her voice was just like I remembered. Full of fake authority. All the while, I could hear Emmett whaling for answers himself. Rose wasn't giving any, and even did know the answers, I highly doubt she'd share the info with her husband.

They remind me of why I promised to never marry.

I grinned as Nez covered her face with her hands, turning slight red. She was shaking slightly, I could only imagine the emotions, going though her tiny body. I was beginning to feel guilty, but then I remembered the tear.

"Come now, _Rosie. _I realize its been a while, but I thought I had always made an impression in ones mind, that is if I didn't numb it…" I gave her a hint. And she must have gotten it because there was silence for a few moments.

"_You_. She's with _you!?_ And the-"

"The Volturi, yes. But don't worry, your niece is in very good hands." I assured her, I heard her growl loudly, as she started threatening me.

"What do you want with her?"

_Oh boy, this is gonna be fun._

"Oh come' on Rosie, your old enough to understand things, I mean for what I want to do with your niece, well the list goes on for miles." Nez's face jumped up and was filled with a mixture of pure terror, infuriation, and hatred. I grinned, and laughed lightly at the hollers that I heard coming from the other end. Oh Emmett, never seems to surprise me anymore does he?

"You…If you put on finger on her Pal, I'll rip--

"Yada Yada Yada, Look Emmett? Breathe okay? Oh Rosie? I did say she was in good hands right? Or was it experienced hands? Gosh darn it I just can't remember.."

Hissing was apparent now from both Rose and Nez. I thought Nez was going to jump and attack me but instead She snatched the phone back, but only because I let her. I had said what I needed to say. In my mind, I was helping her, though apparently she didn't see it that way. Girls.

"Rose…?" She said, sounding very scared for her life. "Please, please don't tell anyone."

I could hear Rose breathe heavily on the phone. There was no sounds from Emmett anymore, my guess was he was throwing trees in the front yard to blow off steam. I don't blame him.

"How can you ask that of me, Renesmee!? Its going to be impossible to keep this a secret! I cannot believe you would put yourself in danger like that! They are _killers._" Rosalie spat, disgusted.

"Well technically, you are too.." Nez said, trying to reason. I smiled softly at her attempt to defend me, it was very amusing and at first I thought it was a sweet gesture, until she sent death rays in my directions. It was cute.

"No, it is different-"

"Listen to me! You have to keep it to yourself as long as you can, Where are my parents?"

"They're out with Carlisle and Esme, trying to get information from the airport."

"Aunt Alice and Uncle Jazz?"

"Out."

Renesmee gulped.

"And Jake?"

My eyes narrowed. Jacob. I hated him, and I didn't even know him. But I had reason to, he obviously thought he owned Nez, which he didn't. The reason she ran away was because of him. Just because he was imprinted on her, she's suppost to spend her whole life with him? It disgusted me. The urge to end her sadness was once again taking control of me. I hated this, because the more I stood by her the more I saw what Aro feared coming true. That the respect I had for her would increase to form--NO!. This isn't happening, this WILL NOT HAPPEN! I forbid it. I'll kill it before it breathes.

Getting lost in my thoughts, I finally I heard Rosalie scoff, breaking my meltdown.

"Fido is out with his little 'pack', trying to hunt you down like everyone else."

"So its just you and Em?"

"Yes, but Ren-"

"Please, Aunt Rose, hold it off as long as you can. And when they do find out, tell them not to come get me. I'll be home soon enough, I promise! I need time okay? I can't come home right now. I don't have time to explain why, just know that I'm okay. Please, Rose, for me." She pleaded her voice sounding like a panic. I could hear her heart beating rapidly, her body shaking slightly as she moved her hair out of her face. The motion causing her scent to intensify, I closed my eyes and breathed in when I heard a door open, though the phone, and Edward's voice followed. My eyes shot right to Renesmee's eyes to see some sort of sign of emotion. If she has pain, or panic from the sound of his voice.

_I really need to stop this. Damnit._

"Rosalie, give me the phone. _Now_."

"Send everyone my love!" Nez squeaked, and with that she hung up quickly. The second that phone was out of her hands, she turned to me with a mad driven expression on her face. Her breathing was heavy, and her eyes were blazing with fury.

"Why the hell did you do that!? Huh?" She yelped, pushing my chest with both her hands, I barely stumbled.

"I was doing what you wouldn't."

She actually growled at me, and I couldn't deny the fact that it aroused me. I had heard her hiss, but never a full on growl, I didn't even know she could. But as much as it was appealing, it was also very entertaining. My back was now pressed against the glass door of the booth,

"Because of you, they're probably already on their way here! But that's what you wanted right? You don't want me here. You never did."

She started to walk past me, but I just couldn't let that happen, now could I? I know I stepping out of boundaries, especially not 2 days after my chat with Aro and the others, but I was too tempted. She was alluring me, that I had no choice. In vamp speed, I placed my hand on her chest and braced her against the coolness of the glass, which caused it to crack some.

I stepped closer to her, smiling softly with my lips, her eyes looked shocked as she exhaled deeply.

"Oh, I can think of many reasons as to why I'd want you here…" I whispered, my face leveling with hers, as my fingers slowly started to zip down the light weight jacket she had on, letting my thumb trail down her skin as I did so, she began to shiver involuntarily, as my eyes followed the path. I couldn't say the interaction didn't effect me, because her warmth was doing something to me that I hadn't expected. Her skin was burning, the even the sun couldn't compare, I was expecting a nightshirt hidden beneath the burgundy hoodie, only to find out she wasn't wearing anything except for a bra, a white bra with blue stars all over it. My fingers froze when I realized the intimacy of the situation., but by that point her breasts were very revealed. So beautiful, a creamy white color, they were considered flawless in my eyes. It took everything I had not to touch. Instead I just took a step back, though what I wanted to do was the complete opposite, when I finally managed to tear my eyes away, her whole body tensed up as her heart rate increased, and she of course blushed, where as I found my eyes unable to look away again, I couldn't stop staring at them, I was like 12 all over again. She had caught me off guard, and not fair at all. It was hormones mixed in with complete shock. She wasn't playing fair.

"Your not wearing a shirt." I stated.

"Nothing gets past you, does it Alec? I totally wasn't aware."

"Why are you _not_ wearing a shirt?!"

"I was in a hurry, I just came out here to call home, then I was going to go to bed.." She mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed. I rubbed m face repeated to distract myself, but all I could think about was the fact that Renesmee Cullen was walking around at night with no shirt, the possibilities of some human waste attacking was more likely to happen, and it was enraging me to all extremes. I wanted to rip this non-existent person to shreds.

"That's your excuse for walking around in Italy without a shirt? That's what your sticking to?" I snapped at her.

"I'm not scared of old Italian pervs, Alec! I can take care of myself!" She hissed, it was almost like she was reading my mind.

"Can you take care of yourself against me?!" I stepped closer, pushing aside the thoughts of others. I was now worried about myself now. Her face was itches from my own. As I boxed her in, the heat of her body hitting mine, as her eyes stared into me. I wanted her so much, it was causing physical pain, the bra was just the tip of the ice berg. She was stuck in this small tiny phone booth with me, and all I wanted to do was to get rid of the clothes all together. I held my arms firmly on each side of her body, causing her to be stuck in the corner. I breathed in heavily her scent, which filled the small area. My nose brushing against her neck, my lips were now opening, trailing the outline of her neck, urging me to plant kisses. Her sensual scent was causing my mouth to water, her skin teasing my lips, as I felt her pulse beneath them.

"What if I can't?" She asked, turning her head, making her temple touch my own, her eyes staring straight into mine, as I backed away ever so slowly, it was like she was testing me, but she really shouldn't be doing so. She was too bold to be pushing me, especially when she's in the position that she in, I could take her now, so easily, so swiftly.

I leaned in, and put my mouth right next to her ear. I could tell she stiffened her posture even more so then before.

"Then I suggest you zip up your jacket, all the way to your neck, and put your hood over your head." I whispered in a voice that would come across as dangerous. I wanted her to get the message, by the sounds of her swallowing, she did.

Her heart was pounding even faster -if that was even possible- as she fumbled with her zipper. Once she had accomplished that, she put on her hood as I said, gave me a glare, and pushed against me to get out. Her body hit mine full force, as she scooted her way out. My jaw clenched at the contact.

She started walking ahead of me, but I quickly caught up with her. I wasn't going to let her walk alone at night, in a alley. Not at this hour at least, after moments of huffing, she finally spoke.

"You know, this whole…sexual tension thing is getting a bit old!" She blurted out, stopping in her tracks to stare at me with angry eyes.

"You mean the foreplay?"

Her eyes widened at my choice of words and I just smirked.

"Well, if that's what your wanting to call it, yeah.."

I turned to look at her as I crossed my arms, and saw that she did the same. I was going to bring this to a new level, and she acted like she was prepared for it. It would make things a lot easier if she was, so I proceeded.

"The thing about foreplay Nez, is it tends to lead to sex. Which could, in turn, stop the tension all together." I was saying as if I didn't have a care in the world. Her mouth making a 'O' shape. As she grimaced, and blushed even deeper then usual.

"Are you seriously suggesting what I think your suggesting? This coming from someone who like two seconds ago was all like, 'Zip up your jacket!'" She mocked in a poor imitation of my voice, which made me smile softly.

"Well if you want to get rid of the tension…"

"Your not serious, I mean Your talk, and no action, how am I suppose to think your for real?"

"As opposed to you, who makes all the effort in the world." I said sarcastically, I could practically see the smoke coming from her ears, her eyes blazing with the fire within her.

"Not that I had any intention of sleeping with you, but I did make effort!" She defended, I raised my eyebrows confused as to when she did actually put the effort. When she raised her hands the air.

"In the alley, a couple days ago?"

"Oh, you mean when you ran away? Yes, that was indeed very bone chilling." I smirked, and gave a fake shudder. Nez frowned, obviously remembering the encounter and looked down at her feet, like she was humiliated, it sent twinge of guilt through me for bringing it back up. We had agreed not to bring it up at the time didn't we?

"I just wasn't expecting it, that's all.." She mumbled, still looking down at the ground.

Suddenly the feeling of guilt was replaced by bewilderment.

_Was she serious!?!_

I couldn't believe this. Was she so naïve about her effect on me? Her effect on everyone? I mean, if we were in a crowd I would notice her like that without question, and the way she was talking now, it was like I shouldn't be effected. it infuriated me so much that I was no longer playing it loosely. Not anymore.

"You weren't expecting me to be hard for you? Well if we were to explore that side of our relationship Nez, I'd be more then hard.." I said silently, as I walked closer to her. She looked up from the ground to meet my eyes.

"I'd be inside you, kissing every thing that my hands would touch...making you mine…do you not expect that from me?"

I heard her gulp, her breathing was so loud that I swear I can hear her shaking.

Her eyes looked downward, as they widened. I followed her gaze, to see she was looking at my very apparent erection which I knew would be there, She quickly shifted her eyes back up, her face shocked as ever. I only gave her a 'told you so' look, which seemed to upset her. I didn't care. Not anymore.

"You disgust me." She spat.

"Good."

She then started walking back towards the entrance. We walked in silence, not looking at each other, and once we reached the hole she jumped down first, not giving me a second glance. I followed, but by the time I got down there she had already started quickening her pace. I assumed she was headed to her room, but she was stopped by Aro, who was walking out of the throne room.

"Well there you two are, I've been waiting anxiously for you both." He said cheerfully, looking back and fourth between us. I looked down meekly as he stared at me curious. I could only imagine what is playing in his head. He was probably wondering what was going though mine, which made me not want to move, so long as I didn't make skin contact, he would be in the dark, though as far as I was concerned I did nothing wrong, I feared he may read into something differently.

"Both of us? Why?" Renesmee asked, sounding just as confused.

"Because, dear one, I want a demonstration!"

We both stared at him with confused expressions. What demonstration? I honestly had no idea what he was talking about, or why for that matter, but by the look on his face, I knew it was something I wasn't going to want to do.

"You mean, a self defense demonstration?" Nez asked dumbly, as if this was a joke. thrusting her fist towards my face. I caught it with my own hand, and glared at her. She rolled her eyes and pulled her hand away from my grasp.

Aro was smiling, obviously very amused.

"I was thinking along the lines of a dance." He suggested in a light tone

I narrowed my eyes as Nez tilted her head. Then it hit me.

Dancing.

_I can't believe this. _

He wanted me to dance with her for what reason? Only thing that came to mind was her stupid excuse of a party which was a couple of weeks away and she herself was suppose to choose her own damn escort, and call me crazy, but I had serious doubts she'd want to go with me. Maybe I'm wrong but by the looks on her face, I wasn't.

"I thought I was going to choose my own--"

"Alec offered earlier, you wouldn't want to disappoint Renesmee, would you?"

"You did?" Renesmee asked, her eyes shooting right to my face, as I glared at Aro who was smiling like a child on Christmas. If he seriously was worried about my feelings for her, he wasn't showing it at all. He must have some kind of faith in me, though I was too shocked to be appreciate it at the moment.

"I did?" I questioned him, waiting for it to be confirmed.

"You _did_."

Aro's face was stone, his eyes very serious and deadly that I could really do was nod. That is until Renesmee had a meltdown, which to be truthful was quite funny.

"Oh You did, That's freaking _perfect_!" I heard Nez yell as I kept my face on Aro who smiled. Nez covered her face with her small hands, and kept shaking her head as if this was her worst nightmare. Though I knew it wasn't.

"Aro, please though I am grateful for the offer, and it may seem like a good idea, it wouldn't be."

"I have to disagree Renesmee, Alec's offer should be flattering if not, taken seriously."

"Please Aro, I understand you believe we're compatible, that somewhere in your mind, you think we're two peas in a pod, you know, two bodies sharing one soul really but in reality--" Nez said, her voice rising, as she quickly grabbed on to my chin, grabbing hold of my face in her warm hand, pulling it close to hers.

I couldn't believe she would be so desperate as to touch me in front of Aro, but all I could do was glare. She was like a red spot in front of a bull from where I was standing. Grabbing my face like I was child in front of my own sire! She was going to regret everything later, but for now I just slowly turned my face to hers, and looked at her like she was my next victim and not in a good way.

Renesmee's face didn't show signs of being worried, but I could tell by the way she held my face she knew she'd cross the line because her breathing became quite uneven as if saying "Oh crap." and let go of my face but not before she made her point.

"I mean, look at his face, and look at mine," she motioned to her face which was even beautiful now when she's making a fool of herself, and pissing me off.

"Alec doesn't even know how to smile or give hugs, and look at me. Do you think I'm just wearing a jacket that says 'Free Hugs' for nothing?"

Aro and I instantly looked at the jacket and sure enough in black letters it read, 'Free Hugs.' I hadn't noticed it before, though probably it was because I had something to distract me.

Like her bra, which still laid there without a shirt to cover her. Luckily she did take my advice and zipped it all the way up. Her hood still over her head.

"Now Renesmee, you wouldn't want to hurt the boy's feelings, would you?"

After a moment of trying to come up with a answer Nez finally had enough. She asked Aro for a moment and grabbed my arm, pulling me to the other side of the lobby. As if Aro couldn't hear her.

"Hurt your feelings Alec? Really?"

"Just do this one thing for me."

"Why should I do _anything _for you?!"

"It's just a dance Nez, relax." I said, trying to calm her, it was no use. Because now her voice wasn't a whisper, it was more or less a holler. One she wasn't shy of.

I glanced at Aro who was listening in, of course. His hands together, waiting for the verdict from Renesmee, as if she would give into him any minute, wanting me to encourage her. Though deep down I wanted to get away from her.

"Its not the dancing, its _you_. I. Don't. Want. You."

That's when Demitri walked into the room, his face looking bored as Aro acknowledged his existence.

"Well, if you would prefer another partner, I could suggest Demitri…" I heard Aro suggest, butting into our conversation. The thought of her and Demitri dancing was making me want to gag as if I had chewed up human food. I then looked over at Demitri and he looked as though he was about to kill. I glanced at Nez, her eyes were wide with fear. She then suddenly grabbed my hand.

"Lets go."

We followed Aro into the throne room, where Caius and Marcus waited for our arrival. Caius' face looked extra pissed today, where as Marcus' looked extra depressing, his everyday frown was even more droopy on his face.

As we walked in, Aro motioned for us to stop once we had reached the middle of the room. He then slowly took his seat between Caius and Marcus, snapped his fingers and music started to play. Classical music, my personal favorite, though by the look on Nez's face, she looked like she would throw up any minute.

We slowly faced each other, but neither of us made an effort to move closer, that was until Aro spoke loudly in an annoyed voice.

"Hands, Alec. Renesmee, please."

We glared at each other, and slapped our hands together, creating a loud sound that echoed through the room. I squeezed her hand tightly, and she grimaced. Digging her nails into my marble skin not effecting me what so ever.

"Loosen your grip, Alec, you don't want to hurt the girl…" Aro commanded in a soft tone, I sighed and did as he said. Renesmee however remained the same. A smirk to her face knowing that Aro wouldn't do nothing about what she does.

"Yes, that would be such a tragedy wouldn't it?" Caius said sarcastically, rolling his eyes slightly.

Aro ignored him, as me and Nez got a bit closer together, I took her waist, and she reluctantly placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Closer together, children. Come now Alec, dance with the girl properly, we all know you can." I narrowed my eyes and turned my head briefly, then in the corner of my eye I saw both Jane, and Felix walking in the room, I stared at my sister's expression who still seemed sore from our earlier encounter, she held her head high and gave me a intense glare, but more so at Nez who was looking at her also. She gave a quick smile to Felix who found his way beside the three masters. I just shook my head, trying to gain focus on what I had to do.

I quickly pulled Nez's body closer to mine, making her chest touch my own causing her zipper to slide down a little, causing my head to spin. I've never been so confused in my emotions at once in all my life.

_Damn her._

As I gave to spin her swiftly, I heard Aro give a dreamy sigh as he spoke with laughter.

"Such a lovely sight to see, don't you agree Caius?"

"It's revolting."

Renesmee began to laugh as I tried to hold back my own laughter, though I was failing. The way Caius' voice sounded in that moment, sounded as if he too was going to throw up. Of course, nothing about parties amused Caius, come to think of it, he was the one master whose least likely to ever smile, and I had my theories as to why.

"I couldn't agree more." Nez whispered, knowing good and well I heard. I gripped on to her hand, to grab her attention, It worked.

"If your feet come near mine, I'll make sure you'll never have to worry about the tension between us again, because you'll have nothing to work with. Kay?"

I glared at her, and aggressively spun her to my chest. Oh she was really trying to get under my skin and it was working too, her talking about dismembering me was oddly enough turning me on. I guess it was the fact that in order to such a thing, she'd have to touch me.

_Jesus, I need help._

"Oh Renesmee, such a turn on, why don't we just skip the dancing, go straight to your room and I'll numb you from the pleasure." I hissed in her ear. As I gave her a double turn.

Her eyes widen at my words, and a crease formed between her brows, biting on her bottom lip. Her cheeks forming a scarlet red, she then looked at Aro and the rest of them, because there was no doubt they that they heard every word.

"I can not believe you."

"Well you're the one bringing _up_ my member--" I said, as I gave her a dip. Her face looking up at mine, her eyes bright with humor.

"As if _this _could give me any form of pleasure." she spat, wiggling her tiny pinky in my face. I growled as I heard laughter bursting from whom I could only imagine to be Felix, only he would laugh at something like that. I could also hear hissing from Jane. I turned to give her a look, but was smothered by the evil glares on her face. She was so enraged that I could practically see flames in those red eyes of hers.

"Jane…" I whispered, trying to calm her as I tilted Renesmee back up to continue this ridiculous showcase of a dance. I didn't know it at the time but I found myself gripping her hand so hard, that I'm shocked I didn't break it. I kept eyeing my sister as I tried to dance, but it did no good.

"Aw what's wrong Alec, embarrassed by the truth?"

"No, of course not, the only thing that's even remotely embarrassing is having to dance with a half-breed like you."

The words came out before I could even catch them. When I gave Renesmee a final spin, she pushed me away and just stood there. Her eyes hurt and her expression emotionless.

She was a foot away from me, and when I looked at her face, I saw her eyes were beginning to water. The guilt was building in my chest.

"Nez." I said, taking a step closer to her, only to have her push me off. I tried to speak but Renesmee shook her head, not willing to listen to me. She just stared.

After a moment, I saw it. One tear falling from her cheek and it felt as though my un-beating heart was being ripped out before my very eyes.

"That's…That's all I am to you? Some silly half-breed?"

"Nez." I pleaded, as she took a step back from me as I tried to soothe her. She wouldn't even let me take a step.

"No, You know it's okay...Aro I'm sorry I can't do this, I'm going alone, or not at all."

With that said she bolted right out the throne room's door in vamp speed. It was the fastest I've ever seen her run, and I didn't blame her.

I turned around slowly at the sound of clapping from Aro, his face lit up like a candle. I looked down ashamed of myself and what I've done, but I couldn't say anything.

Not to them.

"Very entertaining Alec, I must say the tension needed is there, and now we are certain there is no emotional attachment, congratulations. You have our trust completely, though I would of liked you to seduce her different, this works too."

I nodded, as I looked over at my sister, who smiled with delight. I had pleased her, where as Felix looked how I felt.

I was scum.

* * *

**Writers note: We apologize for this being so late, writers block mixed in with time. Time was not our friend! Anyways NEW MOON WAS AMAZING!!! EEEK! We saw Alec be badass, though we wished he would have showed his face more, but oh well...Um we hope you like this chapter, its a little rough, long...but yeah. We have a blog (can be found on our profile) we have interviews with the people from out story, yeah we're insane. Anyways, enjoy! :D**

~IITM


	9. Chapter 9: Memories Best Forgotten

**Chapter 9: Memories Best Forgotten **

**Renesmee's POV**

I've never really felt this sort of pain before, back home everyone made it their duty to shower me with love and affection. I'd wake up to hugs from every one of my family members, take a shower, spend my days reading and listen to my father play the piano, and hear on a daily basis that I was the apple of everyone's eye. I guess my family decided to sugarcoat life the best they could, because the more I stayed in Italy, the more I realized that not every one cares weather you have feelings or not, particularly the Volturi. They cared the least.

Pain is a funny thing, it's a emotion that consumes you, making you feel as though it's going to last forever, and yet where it does end, you quickly forget that you were ever hurt. I guess I'm still waiting for the moment to set in. the moment I will realize that boys' like Alec aren't worth the tears, That I should of realized a long time ago, that I will never mean anything to him at all. I don't even understand why I thought I did to begin with, I mean I got here more then a week ago and I was so certain that we had a connection, that if anything I could become his friend. How immature of me. Being Alec's friend, what a joke. He wanted no friends, he had everything he wanted right here in front of him. His masters, the men he will only ever trust, and Jane. The only girl that will ever mean anything to him. Thinking about her now was making my heart feel as though someone was walking all over it. So much pain that it was making it hard to breathe. I was so foolish. So tricked, and all of these emotions because of one stupid word.

Half-breed.

It was a curse word to my ears. An insult to everything that I am. I was freak of nature, I now understood that, thanks to Alec. I was abnormal and can never be considered anything but.

_I'm so pathetic._

I don't know what I was going to do now. I could demand another guard, but that would make me seem weak and afraid to face him, which I wasn't, was I?

"Crap." I hissed under my breath, as I found myself in front of my bed room door, leaning my back against it as the tears screamed down my face.

It was useless to try to wipe them away, because the more I tried, the faster they fell, so instead of going in and crying myself to sleep like I should I just slid down to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest, my face buried in my arms. I was going to wait for all of this to past, I had too. What else was there to do?

The hallway to my room was barely lit, I hadn't noticed before, but the walls were made of stone, as was the floor which made this all uncomfortable, but I didn't care. I was all alone, and I welcomed the silence as I tried pulled myself together. I was there for what felt like hours until finally I just rested my head back against my door. Breathing in deeply, and getting tired more and more. I was the verge of getting up when I felt him, his presence smothering me.

"I don't feel like talking to you." I whispered, not opening my eyes, my voice stern and stronger then I felt. He said nothing, but I could feel his gaze, the pressure building on my face as I held back the tears that tried to fall. I didn't know what do. All I knew was I wanted him to leave, and that if I looked at his face, I knew I'd regret it. He didn't seem to get the memo though, because he bent down to my level, resting his arms on my knees, speaking in the softest voice I've ever heard from him.

"Nez…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you I-"

"It's okay Alec, really I'm fine." I reassured him, putting on the tough girl act, I turned my face to avoid eye contact, but lost the battle. I saw him at a glance. His eyes so tender as they looked at me. His mouth a thin line, his expression filled with pity. My heart began pounding faster then normal. I tried to stand up, only to be held down by his firm grip, he looked down ashamed, but I didn't buy it. Not this time.

"It's not okay Nez, you don't have to lie. I know what I said to you was out of line. Please believe me when I say, that I don't…I don't think of you as a--"

"A half breed, you called me a half-breed Alec, and your right because that's what I am, that's what I'll always be. Half-vampire, half-human. I can't change that, but I don't know I guess it was silly of me to think that you saw me as more then that, that maybe you saw me as someone you could…" As I searched for the right words, I looked into his deep red eyes only to find a confused expression on his angelic pale face. I then realized that I shouldn't explain anything. That he should already know by now what I hoped for. What I thought we would share.

"Forget it, I'm wasting your time. Goodnight." I said in a rush as I quickly stood up. I tried to open the door as fast as I could only to have him jump in front of me. Blocking my way. I looked down at my feet as a tear found it's way down my cheek, Alec then reached over and bushed it away with his cold thumb.

"What can I do to make you forgive me, Renesmee? To make it as it was. I'll do anything."

I looked up at him and closed my eyes, breathing in his scent.

I had thought there was nothing. That all I wanted now was for him to leave, but when I looked into those eyes I saw such sadness and it wasn't because of me. I don't know wither it was the way he looked at me or what but I knew that whatever he kept away from others was something that still effected him and I remembered what I craved the most before I go back home. To know him. And if he wanted my forgiveness and was willing to do anything for it, then that's how it has to be.

"Tell me," I whispered, leaning towards his face, my lips inches from his, as I rested my forehead against his own. He smelled so good that it made my nostrils burn with his sweet scent, I closed my eyes bracing myself for his response, but all I got was a heavy sigh. He was so close, it felt as though he was going to kiss me, his cold hands finding their way to my warm face, cupping my cheeks. I bit my button lip, feeling my heart pounding against my ribs. It felt so damn good being this close to him, this intimate, even though I wished it wouldn't. It shouldn't feel good, I should be feeling disgusted, revolted, unclean. But how could I? How could I possibly feel sickened when he was holding me like this? It made me feel special, wanted.

"What do you--"

"Tell me about your past, Alec. What does the '_burning_' mean?" I said simply as I opened my eyes to see his response. He then backed away from me, shaking his head slowly, his hand rubbing his head, as if my question caused him stress.

_Well maybe I'm not so special and wanted after all…_

"Nez.."

"You said, anything to make it as it was before, I want to know Alec, why is it so hard for you let me in?" I whispered as I took a step closer, placing my warm hand over his chest. Feeling nothing underneath.

I plead him with my brown eyes, hoping that would convince him to trust me, that if anyone in this world would listen, it would be me, that I wouldn't judge him or feel sorry, and he wanted to tell me. I could see it in his eyes, it felt as though the words were right at his edge of his tongue, just waiting to be spit out. Alec opened his mouth to speak and just when I had all the hope in the world and was I was fore sure he was going to tell me everything, he closed his eyes and shook his head, breaking my heart, making me realize that no matter how much I begged, I wasn't going to get any answers. Not from him anyway.

"I can't. I'll make it up to you, some other way, Nez I promise."

I turned my face as he tried to comfort me once again, I was so furious. How could he do this? How could he lift up all my spirits and then tear me down? Some would believe that if he truly wanted my forgiveness that give in and tell me anything I wanted to know. I was beginning to believe that I just wasn't worth it. I don't know what he has to hide from me anyway. He said his family was normal, that his father was looked up to back in the day, and his mother was the same. He wouldn't lie to me would he?

Of course he would. He's Alec, because all I know about his past that's a factual is that there was a major burning, and some how I doubt he was a vampire at the time. I just had an itch.

"Goodnight, Alec." I whispered in a sad tone, and before I could let him say a word, I was inside my room, locking the door and leaning against it. I stood by the door to make sure he left, and when I heard a sigh, with footsteps following, I closed my eyes and let the tears follow.

I really wasn't worth anything to him. Not worthy enough to know about a stupid burning that happened how many years ago? It's ridiculous, but I wasn't going to give up. Not when I'm so close, As I tried to get ready for bed, I played with ideas in my head as to what it could be. House burning and Jane was inside, and it just so happens he's the one to start it?

Maybe?

Jane got ticked one day and decided to set him on fire? I wouldn't put it past her so that would be a maybe as well.

_Jane._

The name sang inside my head so clear it was like a light at the end of the tunnel. Which is odd because it's Jane and she was far from being considered a angel and everything, but that's not the point, If anyone knew anything about Alec's transformation, it would be her, seeing as how she was there too, changing into what they were today, but was I stupid enough to go to the one Volturi member who absolutely detested me and ask? Who was more likely to kill be if I spoke one word to her?

Was Alec worth it?

I closed my eyes and envisioned his face. Those red eyes looking at me as if just by a glance he knew all my secrets, his dark brown hair, laying across his brow as usual, and those lips of his, so full and luscious, beckoning me for a kiss. Was he worth risking my life, just for a bit of information about something that he didn't want me to know? Especially after what he said to me today? I looked past the hurt that was still there, and opened my eyes to my empty room, knowing the answer all along.

_Yes. Yes he is._

I know some people would think I was a idiot. That going to Jane for the story would be compared to walking to your own death but desperate times calls for desperate measures. She was my only hope to getting the answers I needed. It was clear Alec was not going to budge in his decision, I had to take matters in my own two hands.

_I'm a moron. _

The more I thought about going to Jane, the more I realized I needed backup, and the only person I could think of to do that for me was Felix. He was the closest thing I had to a friend here, and he was strong. Very strong. But I wont bug him tonight. I wasn't in the mental state to go head to head with Jane, but tomorrow was a new day, and I was on a mission, and this time, I'm not stopping until I know everything. Who knows maybe if I bugged Felix enough I wouldn't have to go to Jane at all, but I doubted it.

I looked around my room one last time before drifting into sleep. Thinking about Alec. The more I spent time with him, the more I couldn't understand any of my emotions. I mean, what makes someone like another? Is it something you can just pen point or is it one of those unexplained miracles that when you looked at the person you just sort of know that you feel things, besides lust? And how in the hell do you know if it's real or not? I mean, this feeling I have for him, will it go away like I want it too? When I go home and months down the road will I still like him like this?

_God I hope not. _I thought to myself as sleep finally set in, making my eyes heavier and heavier, my body going limp. Until suddenly I was gone.

The next morning came quick for me though. I had no dreams, no nightmares and nothing on my mind but my mission. Today was the day, and I felt like I was on some kind of journey, an thrilling but terrifying journey. What if I had my and Felix's relationship all wrong. It could happen, especially since he was a Volturi, much like Alec. Maybe I was reading into his intentions like I did with Alec's too. maybe he wasn't even my friend.

_Man, I going to drive myself crazy. _

I started walking towards his room, and the closer I got the more nervous I become. I didn't know if he would be in there or not, but it was worth a try, I was going to be stubborn today, and if Felix and my friendship ends up being fake like Alec's then at least I knew for sure right? Right.

When I came to Felix's room, I knocked on his door once and waited a few seconds, thinking he wasn't in I started to turn around, but then I heard the door open, Felix's face peering though, with a serious expression, that then turned into a smile.

"Little Nez!" he exclaimed, opening the door wider so he could I could see his entire body. I was beginning to think he was going to hug me, but he reframed, thankfully.

I smiled, looked around the hall to see if anyone was around, but minus a maid, no one was here.

"Oh Little Nez, I'm glad your here, I wanted to talk to you about--"

"Felix, What was burning the day you met Alec?" I asked in a rush, cutting him off from what he was going to say. He raised a eyebrow at me and just shook his head.

"I'm not getting into that Renesmee, if Alec wanted you too know--"

"I thought you'd say that." I said simply, cutting him off.

I turned in the direction of the guards rooms, and started walking, or rather marching. I've never been to Jane's room but I knew where it could be found.

Next to Alec's. as I got a few feet away I knew good and well that Felix wouldn't let walk to my own death bed, if he was my friend that is, lucky for me he was because before too long he was in my face, his arms crossed, and he was rocking on his heel. He once again raised one eyebrow at me, suspicious.

"Where ya goin'?"

"To see Jane," I answered casually.

I walked past him, not looking back.

"Oh ok…well that's nice…yeah-"

Within five seconds he was back in my face, giving me a confused expression.

"That's funny; I thought you just said you were going to see Jane!" He said, walking beside me with his hands in his pockets. I didn't him one glance, we were half way to her room, and I wasn't going to let Felix stop me. I was determined.

I didn't answer him, so he must have caught on that I was indeed going to Jane, I don't know what was going through his head, but panic seemed to be going through his face, because he grabbed onto my shoulder to stop me.

"Whoa, whoa! Okay, what part of crazy broad did you not understand?" He said, pulling me by the arm to face him.

I sighed and gave him a apologetic look. How was I suppose to explain to him? That the curiosity was eating me up alive! He wouldn't understand, in fact he would probably point and laugh in my face, and accuse me of having a emotional attachment to Alec, which I didn't.

"I have to, okay? You don't understand. I _have _to know!"

He blinked at me for a few moments, shaking his head. I took this to my advantage, I only had a few seconds but maybe if I would get around him fast enough, I would be able to get to Jane's without him stopping me.

"You have to-" I cut him off -once again- but only because it would buy me time, the more time I had, the faster I could run. I wasn't tricking him into this, I was just nudging him in the direction of helping me, that's all. Because I knew if I flat out asked him, he wouldn't do it, which confused me because he shouldn't be scared of Jane. Why should he be? He was huge, bigger than Emmett. My head didn't even get to his shoulder!

So I ran past him, using all the strength in my legs. And I thought I was making good progress, which was until his face popped up right in front of mine.

"Are you _insane?_ I can't let you do this to yourself kid. Your just so damn young, can't do it." He then grabbed my arm.

I pouted to him, hoping that would get him to budge. I used all my charms, if it would work on anyone, it would be him. And by the look on his face, it was working. His eyes squinted, covering his eyes with his fingers; he made a face of weakness.

_I got him._

"Oh, don't do the whole puppy dog look with the pouting and the fake tears and the guilt tripping! Am I being Nezzed? I'm being Nezzed aren't I?"

I nodded to him, grinning my best grin. He sighed, he was now officially putty in my hands, and I loved every minute of it.

"I- I- I can't let you go alone."

"Yay! You can go ahead of me." I quickly pushed him in the direction towards her door, making him my shield. He looked over his shoulder with panic in his eyes.

"I'm doing what!?" He yelped, as I knocked on the door for him.

"I need you to protect me!"

"Well who's going to protect me?"

"Felix!"

Suddenly, the door swung open and there stood Jane in all her glory. She was pretty, now that I got a closer look at her. She had huge red eyes, but they were not nearly as light as Alec's were. Her hair was pulled back, and her face just looked utterly unpleased to see me and Felix, because she just kept glaring like she was going to attack me any minute. It really made me glad I brought Felix along; there was a less likely chance of her killing me if he was around. Though I felt bad for him, he was in the front row of seeing that evil glare of hers.

"Explain, Felix." She commanded, her voice low and testy, her eyes shifting from my face to his.

I patted Felix on the back for encouragement, which was the only way I could think of to help. Felix cleared his throat, and began to speak.

"Um…uh…Renesmee wants to talk to you." He blurted out, grabbing me from behind him and pulled me up close and personal with Jane. I hissed under my breath.

Traitor.

He kept to his word though, he didn't leave my side, I was thankful for that.

"To what do I owe this enormous displeasure of your company?"

"I…I came to ask a favor. I know you hate me-"

"_Wow, _you really are Edward's daughter, aren't you? I mean, with your brains and talent, I'm sure you can go far." Her voice dripped with sarcasm, and she smirked, reminding me a little of Alec in that way. Only he did it nicer, if that was possible.

I looked at Felix; he was rubbing the back of his head and shifted his eyes to Jane, as if to encourage me. I took a deep breath; my body was beginning to shake slightly. Jane was still glaring at me, with one eyebrow raised, waiting for me to respond.

"Um, as I was saying, I was uh…" Damn it, I was struggling for words, I must have looked like a fool in her eyes. Hell, I am a fool, what was I thinking, getting in his business like this? He didn't even want me to know, but I _had _to know, it was no longer want. It was a straight up, hardcore need. But looking at Jane, maybe it was just stupid of me.

"You going to try and get to your point, Half-Breed?" She said with a fake smile on her face. My eyes narrowed as her lips spoke those ugly, offensive words.

Half-Breed.

I felt like stepping on her face over and over, until she was deformed, my body was beginning to shake uncontrollably, as my formed a fist in each hand.

As I brought my attention back to the living, I realized I wasn't going to stand here and let her walk all over me, I was too enraged to let that happen. I don't care how powerful she is, she didn't have the right! _No_ one had that right. All the anger I had felt the night before was resurfacing and multiplying, it took everything I had not to attack her. And I was going to, my lips were pulling back over my teeth, But then Felix nudged me in the side, reminding me of what I had come for.

Alec.

"I need information." I said flatly, setting my jaw and crossing my arms, glaring at her as I took a step closer to her face, her eyes narrowed at the gesture and shook her head.

"Well there is a local library a few blocks down, I'm sure Felix would be more than happy to take you."

"I need answers, and you're the only one who can give them to me."

Jane looked at me and back to Felix waiting to see if he had anything to say, of course he didn't, so I continued, though I was feeling pretty brave and stupid for putting myself in this situation, but I wasn't going to back out now. I am here after all, putting my life at risk.

"Tell me what was burning when you met Felix."

Jane shot a glance at Felix, who look away and shrugged his shoulders, her eyes showing no emotion but annoyance at him, but still I felt sort of protective. It wasn't his fault I wanted to know something, I didn't want him getting in trouble because of my curiosity.

"Felix didn't say anything, which is why I'm here. Tell me." My voice was stern, but it did no good.

"I'm not wasting my time with old human memories." Jane spat, and started to slam the door. I quickly used the little bit of reflexes I had and stopped the door with my foot, blocking it.

"Nice." Felix whispered approvingly,

"You're violating my door." Jane said in a dull, irritated voice. Her eyes blazing with fury. I didn't move a itch, somewhere in the back of my mind did not fear her, though I knew what she could do, I was not scare. I guess I just knew that a part of her could not be all evil as everyone, because if she was, Alec wouldn't be around her as much as he was, right? He loved his sister, and she loved him, and love itself can't be evil. Still, I was going to show her that Renesmee Cullen does not get pushed around. No matter what, so I simply smirked at her.

"I'm afraid I'm not going to take no for an answer. You are going to tell me what I want to know, and you're going to do it nicely." I stated, smiling sweetly at her.

Jane narrowed her eyes at me and raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest.

"And what makes you think I'll do anything for you?"

I started to chuckle, as Felix patted me on the back, basically telling me to cool it, which is a good thing because Jane was starting to hiss at me, her teeth showing though her full lips.

"Because Jane, I'm Aro's guest, and wouldn't he love to hear that you've made me upset? I mean, Imagine the disappointment that he'd have for you, upsetting one of the few half-breeds in the world, I mean I can hear him now--"

"If you think he'd choose you over me--"

"Did I say that? Did you hear me say that? Felix?" I said so innocently, turning to look at my body guard for his input, whose face stayed still as stone, his eyes glancing between Jane and I.

I began to feel kind of guilty for putting Felix in a place he didn't want to be, I was sure I was going to hear about it later, but for now I was still on my mission and I needed his help, after a few moments of complete silence. Felix turned his face slowly in the opposite direction as if he hadn't heard me at all, his gesture telling me he wanted no part in it this.

I didn't blame him.

With a quick apologetic glance at Felix, I turned to face Jane with begging eyes. She shook her head, with a wicked smile, confirming that I had gotten no where with her. That's when I felt it. The pain.

"If you think you can threaten me, you abnormal little _bitch_, you sadly mistaken."

The pain itself was indescribable. It felt as though I had fire burning though my insides, killing me very slowly. I couldn't breathe, nor could I move. I had no choice but to suffer the pain that Jane was causing me. I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate, but it was no use, I couldn't to fight this, I tried to remember that all she was doing to me was making it seem like pain when in reality all of it was fake. I pictured the faces of those in my family for comfort, my Mom, Dad, everyone, and through the blurriness of my mind, I pictured Alec as well. His beautiful, angelic face, looking at me with those dangerous eyes of his, the eyes alone had in me tears. It felt like I was going to be in that state forever, just standing, crying, but with a glare on her face, Jane stopped.

I didn't know why she did, but I was thankful, as soon as my mind finally relaxed, it felt like the air was rushing back to my lungs, my heart humming to the peace. I glanced at Jane, who bent down to level. Snarling in my face, I hadn't even noticed that I was on the ground until now.

"We're done here, and I don't know why your so determined to get to know my brother, but I suggest you--""Just tell her, damn it." I heard Felix say, taking step in front, picking me up and pushing behind his huge body frame.

_Felix, oh sweet Felix._

"You've had your fun, just tell the girl what she wants, and we'll be out of your hair."

I looked around Felix, and looked at Jane who had a shocked expression on her childlike face. I shuddered to think of what will happen next, but was surprised by the sound of Jane giggling.

"Or what, Felix, you're going to make me? She has no business knowing about what happened, it was a million years ago, I've moved on, and so has Alec, We're better off pretending it didn't happen."

I took a stepped closer to Jane, praying that she'd keep this pain-free as I spoke with a low voice. My face dried up with tears.

"If it doesn't matter to you anymore, then how come you're so set on not telling me? It's just human memories, they don't matter."

I held tight on to my body, prepare for her rage when all I got was a silence. Jane shook her head, and looked up at Felix, who hadn't moved.

"You tell her, your wasting my time."

With that said, Jane slammed the door, not giving us a word, I then turned to Felix who grabbed my arm and in a rush, started walking, as if he was trying to get me away from Jane as quickly as humanly possible. I thought he was going to pull my arm off completely when suddenly we were in his room.

"Felix…"

"Alec will kill me--"

"Jane wants you to tell me." I reassured him, as he roughed up his hair, pacing around his room, nervously. I thought he wasn't going to tell me. That after everything that happened, I is still wouldn't know anything that would allow me to understand Alec at all, until finally Felix craved in. baring his soul.

"It's not something the twins are proud of, and I don't blame them. It was one of those kinds of stories where no one really gets a happy ending, kid; I mean it'd cause you nightmares--"

"Well you don't have to worry about that, I already have those."

"What the heck is with you people having nightmares?!"

"Felix!"

"Alright sheesh, can't a guy be curious?!" he asked, taking a seat next to me, looking down at the floor.

"When I first met Alec and Jane, they were younger then what they are now. A lot younger, Aro got word that there were these two human kids, you know who showed a signs of being different then your average human, and of course being Aro he was interested, he always planned on them being turned like, when they got older and stuff, I guess he thought they'd be interesting immortals, you know if they had powers being human, they'd obviously be powerful as vamps, It wasn't hard to find them because the whole town at the time was scared, but ya know, I wasn't. I mean what's more scarier then us right?"

I rolled my eyes, trying to picture Alec as a human boy. I couldn't. I didn't even know what color his eyes used to be, and I sure as hell couldn't picture Jane as human either, humanity didn't seem to fit her at all, still the more Felix told the more interested I became, till finally the story consumed me.

"Anyways, I was doing my yearly check on the kids, when I saw them. Both Jane and Alec were being dragged out of their house by basically the whole town. That's when Demetri and I went and got Aro before it's too late, and when we all came back well.."

My eyes narrowed, heart stopping completely.

He was dragged out of his home by the town members? My mind started to shout out questions that my mouth couldn't keep up with, and when Felix saw my face, he just nodded.

"Oh, little Nez. This is why he--"

"What about their parents?! What about their friends, or. Or..."

I couldn't stop my shock. My body froze, picturing Jane and Alec being burned. The fire, the screams. Oh the screaming. I couldn't imagine. The pain. Even after my run in with Jane, I couldn't imagine it happening in front of my parents, and have them do nothing about it. I just couldn't even if I tried my hardest.

Oh my heart was breaking for him, for them both and a part of me was feeling anger all at the same time. How could they do that to him? To Jane? But mostly to him! What could he have possibly done to deserve a death like that? Nothing in my book. Alec, maybe a lot of things, cocky, sure of him self, but that doesn't give the town's people the right to go and kill innocent people like that, especially when they had no control over what they were.

I thought about Alec again. The Alec I knew today. His eyes red, his mortality and beliefs of humans. It's no wonder he hates them. It's no wonder he is insistent on me feeding on them. It was all becoming clear to me.

Oh _god, why couldn't he tell me this?! _

My emotions were now in shambles. I didn't know who to be madder at, the pathetic scared humans, or Alec for thinking I couldn't handle this, that I was a weak stupid half-breed who wouldn't be able to understand. At this point, I didn't know where I was going, but before I left Felix's room I had a new goal of today.

Alec had some explaining to do.

When I hurried out of the room, Felix didn't even try and stop me, which surprised me, but I wasn't going to complain.

I didn't even know where to find Alec; all I knew was he had to be found.

I was beginning to see a pattern forming now, Felix telling me something about Alec's past, and then I go on a mad hunt to make him explain, only this time I wasn't going to give up and go back to my room and wait for him. I was going to find him one way or another.

God must have been on my side today, because it didn't take me long to find me. He was talking to another guard in the throne room. Aro, Caius and Marcus were no where to be seen, thankfully, I could see Alec's back was facing me, and when I stomped over to him, I thought that he would turn around to greet me. He did after all have good senses didn't he?

apparently Alec didn't seem to hear me, and the guard he was talking to didn't seem to care about my presence either way.

_I'll fix that._

After waiting for Alec to finish whatever it was he was saying, I tapped on Alec's shoulder blade roughly, clearing me throat as I crossed my arms, Alec did not turn around as I expected. Partly.

Did he think he could just ignore me?

_He thinks wrong._

After a few more taps, Alec's body tensed to my touch, his face slowly turning to me, I narrowed my eyes, giving him my serious face.

"Excuse us, will you?" He asked the unknown guard, who nodded and ran off, leaving me and Alec alone in the huge room, shutting the door behind him. The throne room seemed to quite. The sound of our voices echoing across the room.

I heard him give a heavy sigh as he turned around to face me once again as he stuck his hands in his pockets, a very human gesture, usually something men did when they were nervous. He had good reason to be worried right now, even if he didn't know it yet.

His face still showed signs of guilt from the night before when he hurt me, but that was the last thing on my mind at the moment.

"Listen, Nez-"

"I know, Alec." I cut him off, staring into his pale, face. I realized that the words 'I know', could mean anything, possibilities were endless, but when it came to Alec, the words could only mean one thing and that was his secret was out. I knew everything about him. About his family. About the towns people and here I stand in front of him face to face.

I knew it all.

Alec wasn't dumb, in fact I've learned since my arrival that he was beyond smart, it only took him an second to realize what I meant. His was eyes reading my face, as I held back the tears. It was like the light bulb above his head was coming to life, within seconds his face dropped and it looked like he was struggling for words, his full lips trying to make sound.

"Know what?"

Goody, he _was_ going to play stupid.

"I know what you've been trying to keep from me, about what happened to you and Jane." I said firmly, shifting my weight on my legs, trying to remain strong, though I didn't feel like it. by this point my breathing was becoming uneven, and my heart was pumping out adrenaline through my veins. The only thing left now that I was finally out of the dark, was he had to confess, he had to face the music.

Alec's face was stone. I couldn't read anything from it, he didn't even blink at me, he was some would consider a living statue. I was beginning to worry, maybe I should have waited until a better time to discuss this with him, because now he was starting to scare me.

He was not moving.

He wasn't breathing.

His eyes were marble, staring into my face with pure anger.

And his lips, the full lips I adored, were in a straight, tight line. Disappearing all together.

I went to touch his arm, to try to get him to respond to me, but he flinched away from me. Pushing me away.

_At least he was moving that's a good sign. _

His face was now noticeably angry. He was breathing again which I was thankful for, and his hands were out of his pocket, clenched in fists.

"Who told you?!" he snarled, his voice unrecognizable as he started to walk away from me, headed for the door. I stepped in front him to block his path but it did no good. Alec was on verge of doing some serious punishment, to who ever spilled the beans and for the first time since I got here, I feared Alec in that way, he was going to kill. I could see it in his eyes. The darkness surrounding them. Pure hatred, but I wasn't going to let him know that I was scared for my life of course, I had to stay focused.

"That's beside the point, Why didn't _you_ tell me? Why didn't you tell me about your…about your…" Now I was the one struggling for words, it felt like my brain was incapable of making any sense. I didn't want to come out and say words in general, partly because I was so angry that I couldn't figure out what I wanted to say to begin with, and with one glance at his face, I began to shake undeniably, my body felt like I was about to cry at any minute, my heart beating on my rib cage as if it was reminding me to breathe.

I'm pathetic.

Why did I care so much? It didn't make any sense. It was Alec and his stupid business, yet here I was trying to get him to talk to me. As I begin to talk again, Alec was still trying to get away from me, and he got a few feet away till suddenly he stopped and faced me, head on, his face cold and still.

"Come on' Nez. You can say it. About my _death_, or how about me and Jane, getting roasted alive? Does that sound better for you?" Alec finished for me, in a cruel voice I had never heard him use. It felt so unfamiliar. I looked at his face shyly, his lips were curling, twisting with disgust. It felt like he had just punched me in the gut when he said that, breaking my heart in the process. I could basically feel the venom swelling in his mouth, making my body shake, looking into his eyes, I saw nothing but darkness in them, instantly there was feeling sick to my stomach for the way he suddenly changed.

"Why would you keep that from me?!" I asked, almost yelling, my voice unstable. I didn't want him to beat around the bush, I wanted him to explain, to get it out, but he said nothing. He just stared. Moments past, and I was starting to believe he was giving me the silent treatment, until finally he spoke.

"Well it might have something to do with the fact that I knew you wouldn't be able to handle it. Maybe I didn't feel like skipping down memory lane. Or this, -here's a big brain twister for you – I didn't want to deal with you being nicer to me only because you felt sorry for me. I'd rather you hate me than to look at your face full of pity." He hissed, lowering his voice. His eyes were fire again, so dangerously furious, it made me frightened of him, and at the same time more angry. How dare he think I'd feel that way about the situation. Was I so predictable that I would pity him over something that happened a thousand years ago? Didn't he think that maybe I wanted to help him? That I could help?

I looked into his eyes again and breathed heavily, giving him a disappointed look.

He didn't know me at all.

"I don't pity you. That's the last thing I'm feeling for you right now. You don't know whether I could have handled it or not!"

"Yes, because you're handling it oh _so _well right now." His voice dripped with sarcasm, I wanted to punch him. I wanted to rip his face off and run far, far away, I was so tempted to do so, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. His reflexes were too strong and I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of my humiliation.

"That's because you lied."

"I never lied to you; I just didn't go into the details of my death. I'm so sorry I didn't want to open up old wounds for you, Renesmee. I know it must be hard for you, not getting your way, when you're so used to living a magical fairytale where people worship the ground you walk on and cater to your every hearts desire. But me, unfortunately I didn't get that lucky." He spat, being unnecessarily harsh.

He had no right to bring up _my_ life, not when his was a freak show.

I stepped closer to him, close enough to feel his cool breath hitting my face. Practically staring death in the face, but I didn't move. I faced him with my head held high.

"You don't know _anything_ about me and my life back at home Alec, so don't pretend you do."

If I thought I was angry at Jane for calling me a Half- Breed earlier, well that didn't compare to the fury I was feeling now. I could imagine myself looking like the cartoons when they're angry, their whole bodies turning red and steam coming from their ears. I knew my face was turning red, I could feel it, and as for my body, well it was vibrating.

"Don't I though? C'mon, what could you possibly have dealt with that's so traumatic in the few years you've been on this earth? Your Aunts and Uncles making sure your safe? No…I suppose that would be considered loving. Your grandparents making sure you feel wanted? How incredibly cruel… Your mother tucking you in at night? I can't imagine the horrors you must go through on a daily basis, Nez, really. I feel for you." He whispered, crossing his hand over his chest, as if he was hurting for me.

Though I didn't want to admit it, He was right. My life was practically perfect; my family loved me to death. But that still didn't give him access to talk to me this way. Why was he taking all his anger out on me? Me! I just wanted to talk to him, but he was exploding up in my face for no reason. Sure I butted in where I probably shouldn't but I was not the enemy here. I was just me and he was just Alec, and all I wanted was to know him, why is he trying to hurt me?!

"Okay, so my life isn't what you would call complex, I get that. But don't call me a spoiled brat just because you're pissed about me knowing your secret! Tell me what happened, Alec." I demanded, crossing my arms and pursing my lips. I was beginning to wonder if I was acting like a brat.

Alec smiled harshly.

"You want you know what happened?" He asked in a fake tone. Sounding so giddy as if this was a game. I pushed the annoyance aside, and proceeded. After all, That's the reason I dragged my ass to Jane, nearly passed out from the pain she caused, forced Felix into something he didn't want to do, risked Felix's and Alec's friendship, forced myself in Alec's path, royally pissing him off and tempting him to kill me. For the love of God, I just wanted to know what happened!

"Okay, where to begin…" He began, putting his forefinger to his mouth pretending to think. "I suppose I'll start off when some men dragged me and Jane out. We were studying, and just talking about things, like we usually did everyday, because obviously I wasn't the most popular kid on the block--"

"Alec..."

"When all of sudden, these people burst into our home and started chanting. Tying my and Jane's hands behind our backs, as we tried to brake free, people came to throw rocks at us, even my best friend, okay so imagine our confusion and fear if you can Nez, because of course the townspeople didn't like us all that much, as I said we weren't very popular, but we understood that, we just never thought they would actually harm us. Boy, were we mistaken." He raised his eyebrows and smirked. I just continued to stare and listen. Ignoring the tone he was using as he described the scene.

"We really knew something was terribly wrong when we saw that they were dragging us towards a platform in the middle of the village, which, if you didn't know, was the spot they burnt people who were accused of using witchcraft. It all became very clear to me then, I was going to die, my sister and I were going to die, and no one was going to stop them, I knew that even then, and when they had us tied up and gagged, I began to search for my parents, the parents I thought loved me, who excepted me no matter what." as he said, Alec suddenly walked closer to me, his body pushing me until my back hit the wall. His face so close to mine, my heart pounding so hard, that I shook, jumping to the sound of his voice.

"Where do you suppose they were Nez? Hum? Fighting for me..? WRONG!" he snarled in my ear.

"They were. In. The. Front. Roll. Waiting for us to be _MURDERED_." he hollered.

His cold breathe hit my ear, as his nose brushed against my cheek. I didn't want to move, because to be honest, I was scared of what he would do if I did, but I couldn't help it. I felt for him. I felt like the worst person in the world when here's a guy whose been through more then I probably ever will in my life, and what do I do? I yell at him demanding to know something that should never be brought up. Something that needs to be forgotten. Everything he said sounded like It came out of my personal nightmares, and after a few seconds of trying to remain calm, the tears that I've been holding back fell. I couldn't fight them anymore, instead I bite my lip and cried like the child I was as he watched. When I finally did turn to Alec, he looked at me with narrowed eyes, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Alec…I'm so--" I said, as I tried to reach for him in a comforting way, his cold, firm grip grabbed hold to my hands, and firmly kept them to my side, his eyes glaring into mine.

"Don't. You. _Ever_. Look at me. Like you care Renesmee, don't. The only one whose ever cared for me is Aro, and I'd be damned if you pretend like all of this matters to you now." as Alec said this, he slowly started backing away from me, I watched his movements without a word, till Further and further he became, and with one blink. I was in a huge room all to myself. The echoing becoming more clear.

My legs were shaking, so I began to lean against the wall for support. I had only one thought process now. That was to get away. To get away from all of it. To pretend that my world still consist of rainbows and hugs.

I'd rather pretend then to know reality was like that. Rather than a dark, dangerous place. I was stupid for thinking that me knowing Alec's past would help us, because as far as I was concerned it made things worst, because now he hates me. I should of known that would happen though. I should of known he'd be angry. How could I not realize that I would of messed this up? That I should of kept my nose out of his life? Didn't I ever learn?

I was alone in the throne room forever it felt like, maybe it's been hours, before I finally heard Aro and the others come in.

I looked up to see their faces and felt like I didn't even know them either. I tried to picture what it felt like to see their faces before death and all I could figure is, Alec most of thought them to be Angels.

Sweet heavenly Angels.

_I have to get out of here._

"Renesmee--"

I heard Aro call out as I ran. My heart humming against my chest. I was going to keep running till I was set free from this reality, and I wasn't going to look back. I couldn't look back.

I had every intention of leaving this god forsaken place. I had my bag, which was packed with the clothes I brought, the money that I had leftover was in my pocket. Yet I didn't move, my hand was physically frozen to the door. I closed my eyes and realized that during my rushed plan of escape that I hadn't even said good bye to Felix. That I hadn't even thanked him for everything he's done for me. I couldn't leave it like that, could I?

No. No I couldn't.

As I walked the halls, I tried to memorize the textures, and shades of the walls, because when I get home, I was going to be grounded for the rest of my existence, the last thing I'm going to see for a while, is going to be these hallways.

What a way to go.

As I turned the corner to Felix's room, my eyes caught something by a glance that I hadn't noticed before, before the turn to the guard's rooms, there was lobby of some sort.

How could I not notice was beyond me, but it was Filled with pictures that seemed to be as old as time, artifacts in every corner and books galore, that would be my mother's dream come true.

"What the heck…"

The more I looked into the lobby, more I found myself being drawn in, I looked at all the books, all the pictures and when I got to the last book shelf, I looked around it, and that's when I saw it.

A piano, hidden behind the shelves, not to be seen by any. It was a old piano, but in good

shape. Black slick cover, the keys shining white. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on, since I've gotten here. The word breathtaking just didn't seem to cover it.

I questioned weather I should allow myself the pleasure of playing, but the piano was singing to me. The urge so strong that I dropped the bag I had in hand, and nearly ran

To it. Brushing it with my warm fingers.

Taking a look around the room for trouble, I sat on the stool, very quietly. Hoping no one would mind.

Seeing this piano, of course made me think of my father, and how I use to play with him growing up. I wasn't as talented as he was, but I did however learn a few things from the old man.

I learned to love the sound of music, and since being in Italy, I have yet to hear the melody. I didn't even know where my Ipod was. With my luck, It was probably dead in my bag. Still, I missed the sound of the piano. I closed my eyes, getting familiar with the instrument, my fingers pressing the keys softly as I breathed in the silence. I played one of my favorite songs with one hand, remembering how it went,

The music filled the room, the music then started to control me.

I don't know how long I was playing, all I knew was in the little moment that I played, I felt whole. My hands dancing across the piano as if my fingers themselves were ballerinas. I was pouring my heart into the music, my heart and soul and I was getting lost into my own little world, so lost that I didn't even feel the tears that were fallen down my cheeks. I heard nothing but the music.

"That's beautiful."

I jumped up from the piano, at the sound of his voice, my hand instantly grabbing hold of my chest as my eyes widened with fear. He was leaning against the shelf. His eyes gazing on my face, looking at me the complete opposite way he had before. I said nothing to him, because I believed we've said too much as it was, so I started to get up, only to have him stop me.

"Oh don't leave on my account, I was just in my room, breaking some things when I heard the music. I didn't know you played."

He really shouldn't be breaking his furniture on my account. I wasn't worth that.

"I don't- I mean I…I'm sorry."

Alec raised his hand, to hush me, as he glided towards me, I didn't know what I was feeling now, the situation itself was awkward and I didn't even know what to say or do. All I knew was I wanted to get away, not for my sake but for his.

"Alec, I'm sorry I went behind your back and--"

"Please. You have no reason to apologize Nez, as least not as much I do. At this point I feel as though I could be on my hands and knees and beg and I don't deserve your forgiveness. After yesterday and earlier. I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness."

I looked down at my hands on the keys, feeling extremely guilty for having him feel bad. Alec slowly leaned over the piano. Looking down at my face with his hands held together. His elbows holding him up. After a few moments of not saying a word, I stood up, only to have him grab my hand, which surprised me, his cold skin sending sensations down my spine.

I looked at his eyes, they blazed with grief, and guilt, sending pains through my heart.

He really did feel bad. I felt it in my bones. He was truly, deeply sorry, and it made me feel worse because I was the one who started all of this.

"Don't, You have every right to be mad at me, I stuck my nose where I shouldn't have--"

"I should of told you myself sooner, but I was _scared_."

I was taken back by the choice of words he used. Completely dumbfounded actually.

"Scared? You!?"

"Yes, even me. I was scared of what you'd think. You have no idea, Renesmee, the effect you have on me. That effect itself causes fear. In many ways. I was scared that if you were

to know what happened, you'd pity me. I don't do well with pity, especially coming from you. It makes me seem weak, and not in control, to go all emotional over something that happened so many years ago? I'll pass."

I started to laugh slightly. The idea. Alec of the Volturi, being scared. What are the odds of that happening? Slim to none. He was one of the most feared vampires in the world, and he was scared of being thought as weak in front of me. Oh boy.

As I smiled shyly at him, Alec very slowly reached over and placed his hand over my cheek. A smiling forming at his lips, I really felt like my heart was singing in that moment. Like after everything these past two days, I was finally experiencing a moment where I knew him. It made me feel warm and complete. Like Uncle Jasper was here or something, trying to make me feel happy.

I then looked into his burning eyes, and inhaled deeply, feeling a moment of bravery.

"It hurt a lot didn't it." I said, not really asking a question, because that would be considered stupid. Of course it hurt, it was impossible for it not too, and like I thought he would, he nodded.

"I don't know what hurt worst, the betrayal of my family or not being able to save Jane."

I shook my head in disbelief. I never had a sibling, never will I either but somehow I understood. That if anyone were to hurt one of my family members, I'd go for blood. I guess siblings would be different though, I'd just have to take his word for it. He'd kill to protect Jane. Even in his human life.

"Jane loves you. You two are a lot alike."

"Hm. How do you figure?"

"Because, I went to see her today, to get answers, she didn't budge and she's prissy too, I mean one minute, I'm standing there, and the next, I felt like I was going to die, luckily Felix was there and--"

I thought it was one of those casual chats, like we had when we were out together, but apparently I was wrong, because within a second Alec was in my face. His eyes looking over my body, as if he was examining me. His firm grip, holding my wrist. I was confused, and worried that I had said anything wrong, but then he tilted my chin up with just his cold finger, his eyes serious and lethal as was his voice. I don't know what caused him to panic but it scared me a little, seeing him worried like that, and I shouldn't be worried at all. Not because of him.

"Stay away from my sister. Nez. Please. She's looks sweet and innocent but believe me, she's bitter, angry and I'd hate to see what she'd do to you if you were alone. You must _never_ be alone with her, okay? Promise me."

"Oh believe me, I know she's anything but innocent." I joked, which Alec didn't think was funny. I started picture what it would be like. Walking down the hall, Jane grabbing hold of me, and feeling that pain again. Only this time no one would be there to save me.

She wanted me dead, I knew that from before, but Alec telling me to stay away was just the icing on the cake. Confirming what everyone fears. She was crazy. And she was deadly. Though I knew Alec was serious, I couldn't help but laugh a little.

Even he feared his sister, and yet he's the one person who shouldn't be scared. She'd never hurt him. I don't think.

"Promise me, Renesmee!" Alec yelled, cupping my face. I bit my lip, trying to hold in the laughter.

"Yes _Alec_, I promise if I see Jane, to run the opposite direction."

I guess I wasn't very convincing because Alec gave me a look as if he thought I wasn't serious enough and I just shook my head. When will I ever be alone with Jane was beyond me. Even when I talked to her today, I was sure not to go alone. To get my mind off the seriousness of the topic, I started hitting two keys with my pinkie, and thumb. Alec watched, his face becoming soft,

"So, what was it you were playing?"

I shrugged, unsure if I should answer truthfully. He smiled, rolling his eyes, as he placed my hands on the keys.

"Play for me."

"You already heard--"

"Let me hear it _again_. Please."

By the sound of his voice, I knew it wasn't much of a question. He wasn't going to let me leave this piano until he heard something, for reasons, I didn't know. As I started to play, I once again started to drift. Slowly closing my eyes, I then felt Alec stand up behind me, rubbing my bare shoulders up and down, with his hands. His breath in my ear. Making me mess up horrible on the song.

"I can't concentrate with you right--""Shh.." he whispered, putting his finger on my mouth, to keep me from talking. His hands moved from my lips to my fingers, that where now on the keys, simply laying top of them as I played. It felt exotic the way he hands touched my fingers. I was loosing my senses all together, and the only thing I could think about was him touching me. the music suddenly filling in the air. After moments of trying to play the same music as before, I realized that I was now resting my head on his shoulder. His lips inches from my neck. My heart wasn't taking this to well, and either was my palms, because my hands were shaking, even as they brushed against the keys, but after a while of playing, the song was coming to the end, but I didn't want it too. I wanted it to last forever. Just so we can stay this way. Me in his arms, getting lost in our own world, but I knew all to well that I had to stop. I had to stop and remember that he was not the reason I came. I came for something entirely different. This just complicated things so much more.

As I tried to think of ways to get away, I felt his cold hand caressing my cheek, turning my face to meet his, tilting my head slightly.

I closed my eyes instinctively, and inhaled the air from his mouth, as I leaned in. forgetting my reason to fight this, my mind going blank all together.

"Forgive me." He whispered against my mouth. I didn't know what he wanted forgiveness for, could be what he said in t he throne room, or the half-breed comment, but at this point. I didn't care. I just opened my eyes, and saw his face. Closing in the space between us. Inch by inch, I couldn't tell which were his lips and which was mine, and I didn't care.

"Always."

That's when he kissed me, and everything before this moment became a faded memory.

It would be impossible to stop now, because with one touch of his mouth, I was in a trance. His lips were the sweetest thing I've ever tasted in my young life, it felt like salvation had invaded me in the most sexual way, so celestial that it was down right electrifying to my body, making me wet instantly. My poor nerves were jumping everywhere in my skin, causing every cell in my body to react to his touch, my head began to feel dizzy, it felt like there were only me and him in this world, I could hear nothing but the beating of my heart, my chest feeling as light as ever as ever, his mouth then tugged urgently at my button lip, as if they too couldn't get enough of the taste, and it thrilled me.

Our lips were in an dance together, in the most sensual, yet tender way, and to know that he wanted more then this, sent chills. His hands moved from my face to my waist, pulling my body even closer to his. He moaned in my mouth, the sound of him doing so made me want to collapse. I could only imagine what his tongue would feel like inside my mouth, but tongue or not, his kiss have now became my new addiction, and I craved for whatever he would give. My heart began beat the fastest it ever has before as his hands cupped my face, pulling me up to stand with him, making my body trembled at the intensity. I didn't want to break from him. I wanted more of this. I wanted to feel everything he was willing to give, and ten times fold, I didn't know what to do with my hands, I've never been in this kind of situation, but somehow they found the base of his neck, my fingers, twilling in his soft brown hair, tugging lightly as he pulled me closer to him, I've never been kissed like this, not by anyone, and it made me feel alive. Like I've been sleeping thousands of years, and was now wide awake, ready to live. my body of course was not in disagreement. It clung to him, as if it could all be a dream, and when our kiss hit the height of it's peak, and I felt as though it would be no turning point, Alec broke away, resting his forehead against mine, his hand brushed the hair out of my face. My lips swollen from the contact, my breasts pushed against his chest.

"Nez…I want to tell you something, something rather important about you being here."

I smiled at his nervousness., Feeling the moment as he was, inhaling his now familiar scent. It was a scent I'll never forget. I knew that now, and when Alec began to speak, he suddenly turned his head at the sound of a hiss.

Something inside me told me to grip on tight, because somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this wasn't going to last. And I was right to, because as I turned my head to see where the sound came from, I saw both Jan and Felix standing before us, Watching from the entrance.

"Jane…" Alec whispered, and with that, he was gone, chasing after his sister, who stormed out of here, and I was left alone with this huge piano, and Felix, who was standing with a grin as wide as his face.

"Um, do you want to tell me again, that you don't like him, Little Nez? Cause call me crazy, but uh…it looked like you liked that kiss a whole hell of a lot." Felix said, casually as he crossed his arms, winking at me.

I didn't say anything to him. I just sat back down on the stool, Completely unsure of what this meant for Alec's and my friendship, but then I realized, I didn't care, because the more I thought about it, the more I came to terms with the truth. Felix was right, Alec and I could never be real friends, we were so much more then that, which could only mean one thing.

I liked him, And we were both in some serious trouble, because I liked him.

_Damn it! Why does this have to happen to me?!_

* * *

**_Writer's Note: Haha I wasn't the Nazi on this one!! (Looks at Tiff) hehe. For those of you who leave reviews, thank you SO much!! We have now officially over 100 reviews, and it just blows our mind!! I mean, its a completely AU..and...ahh!! We love you all! *kisses* Click the button ↓ :D Alec will blow you kisses if you do!! ;) hehe. _**

**_~IITM_**

**_PS: The name of the song that Renesmee played is on our profile, you can look it up on and find it there :) Some of you might recongize it as what people would have liked as Esme's Favorite, but whatever we loved it so much we had to put it up hehe. _**

**_...._**

**↓↓↓ = make Cece happy!**


	10. Chapter 10: Macro Polo

**Chapter 10: Marco Polo **

**Alec's POV**

I've never had this happen to me before. In all my years on this earth, I've never been in this type of situation, The type of situation where I was the middle-man, where everything I did was wrong and thoughtless. On one hand, I have my sister whose on the verge of killing the Cullen's only daughter, and on the other, I had me, wanting to go back there to continue kissing the object of my sister's rage. I was in such a complicated predicament that I had no idea on how I was to handle it, and this was all because of a kiss that I didn't plan on happening. After all, as far as I was concerned, Renesmee deserved nothing but cruelty from me. Going behind my back and snoop into my business like that, it was degrading on her behalf, and because of her childlike behavior, I had the anger of that of a troll if there was such a thing, the need to kill was running through my veins, building inside my body, causing me to shake. It was controlling me, clouding my mind, making me feel so unfamiliar in my own skin. I wanted to slaughter something, to rip something into sleds with my bare hands as if that would help me at all, I wanted to block the memories from coming back to me. Blurry, unnecessary memories that didn't matter. The faces. Everything, was flooding inside my mind, making me more and more bewildered. I wanted to yell. I wanted to curse whoever it was who ratted me out, I wanted to have them dead, and burned and I wanted to do it myself. Forget regrets and the pain it would cause others. I just didn't care, not at the time. Hours after I had broke every piece of furniture I could get my hands on, I finally found myself at peace with the silence. I welcomed it. Slowly but surely I was starting feel as though my mind was coming to terms with what happened, that the animal inside me was beginning to fade, but that all ended, when the peace suddenly got disturbed, and I first heard the music, that sweet, heavenly music.

I had thought at the time, that it was one of the usual hacks who thought they had the talent to play. That I was going to go into that lobby, and let out all the frustration I had inside me on the one who was disturbing my thoughts. Of course I was furious, I wanted silence. It was like my vision was blindfolded from reality once again and all I had to do to breathe was to end someone's life. It invading my body again, piece by piece I found the urge coming back to me and I was on the path of destruction, I had thought that whoever it was at the piano would pay for this, that I wasn't even going to numb them before their death, even if it was just a innocent bystander, they would die for nothing, yet that all went down the drain when I saw who it was that I was planning on murdering.

All because It was her.

I never knew she played the instrument, and I have never been to fond of amateurs attempts of trying to make music, but once I laid my eyes on her, it all vanished, my anger for her, my rage itself had become none-existent, and why? Because I have never witnessed anything quite like her playing in all my days.

I was still angry at her. I knew that, but she was just so beautiful in the moment, that I was beginning to forget entirely why I was so mad at her to begin with. I was so baffled by my change in mood that all I could do was watch as she allowing her fingers to flow across the keys, her eyes closed, her nose breathing in the cool air. It was like she was connected to the music she was playing, that she and the piano were on a whole different level then a normal person would be. It was apart of her, I understood that much, it was like the piano was allowing her emotions to sing out of her body in the form of the music. As I watched in awe, I witnessed the tears streaming down her cheeks, the tears I hated so much, but I knew it I shouldn't say anything, not when she played, because it seemed like it was her only way to find peace, and I knew she needed that, even if it felt like It was killing me watching those damn tears. The ones that caused. I didn't know how long I'd been watching, time seemed like it was going by so fast in my eyes, but I found myself leaning against the bookcase that hid the piano, watching like I was under her spell of some sort.

I didn't want anything to disturb her from her safe haven, so I took a look around the room and the door way to see if anyone else was coming in, and that's when my eyes caught a glance of Renesmee's bag on the floor, the same black one she had with her when she arrived, and some how I knew. She had plan on leaving Italy, that she was headed home, but I couldn't't allow myself to be the reason for the departure. That maybe I had been a little irrational with her about the whole ordeal. I had hollered, joked and nearly killed her, when deep down I knew It wasn't all her fault. It wasn't her fault that I had kept that from her, and it wasn't her fault that I had idiotic morons as parents and that Jane and I had to suffer the deaths that we did.

So, with that thought I apologized for snapping at her the way I did, Still even after apologies, that didn't give me the right to kiss her like I did.

_Oh that kiss._

I could still feel her soft, wet lips pulling against mine as I search for Jane, my mind replaying it over and over, the memory of her body pressed up against my chest as her fingers gripped into my hair. My body responding in the way I knew it would. I wanted to stay there forever and by the way her body responded to my kiss, I knew Nez wouldn't have rejected the offer either, which excited me in more ways then one and that itself was dangerous. I shouldn't even be thinking about Nez now. I had to focus and find my sister, not because of what she'll say to Aro about the kiss but because I was generally worried about what my sister will do to others, knowing what she saw. She wasn't the only one who saw the kiss, it was true but besides Jane, but I knew Felix wouldn't say anything to anyone.

He was still clueless as to what Aro wants of me. He thinks it has to do with us, becoming Mates, however he has no clue as to why.

Felix was in the dark, which I envied.

As I thought of ways to approached this matter I had on my hands, I turned in front of my sister's room, waiting.

I was about to give up on finding her all together, when I saw a blur of wind running towards me, her hands knocking my body against the stone walls, the hissing echoing into the hall.

"Jane!" I yelled as the blur tried to run into me once again, this time the force caused me to nearly fall to the ground. Pissing me off.

_That was it!_

I had had it. she was taking her anger out on me, and for what? Because I displeased her in some way? I wasn't some weakling she could push around. I was her brother, and I knew she wasn't going to bring this to epic potations, If she loved me, as Nez had said that is, and I just wasn't going to just stand here and let her treat me as if I was another pathetic being who wasn't worthy enough to be in her presence, with that in mind, as the blur came at me a third time, I ran to other side of the hallway in vamp speed, and as I expected, Jane stopped. Looking for me. As she did, I wasted time no time or effort. Quickly pushing forward, I grabbed hold of her small frame, slamming her against the wall, face first. Whispering soothing words. the impact caused it to crack where she stood, even some of bits of the stone was crumbling off, and the paintings on the wall began falling to the ground, but the didn't matter, because all I was doing was making things worst, and my sister even madder because then Jane began to fight me, but I didn't want to fight her. I have no intention of doing so, but I thought maybe if I held her still long enough to listen to reason, maybe I can buy myself time to make her realize she was over reacting. My sister wasn't unreasonable after all.

"If you calm down I'll explain--" I soothed, in a mother like voice.

Jane didn't give me the chance to finish.

pushing herself off the wall, She muttered words I never thought she'd say to me, making me grab hold of her shoulders blade, trying to get a firmer hold on her. Turning Jane to face, me I began to feel ultimately guilty for making her so angry, but I wont regret anything I've done. Because in the long run, I have done nothing to feel guilty about, still my sister has been my long companion for so many centuries, that I couldn't help but feel for her.

As I held her still, I heard chattering coming from the end of the hallway, two of my masters' lower guardsmen looked at each of my and Jane's faces, giving us a confused glance as if they could some how help with the problem. I chuckled.

"Would you give us a moment, my sister and I need to have one of those sibling chats." I called out, the guards practically started running for their lives as Jane cursed under her breath.

_Pathetic._

After moments of holding her body, Jane became very still, and because of my respect for her, and my love, I released her. The look in her eyes was fluming with rage still as she looked up at me. I guess I took our bond for granted, because when I looked into her dark red eyes, I felt like one of her victims of torture. Right before she attacks.

"You lied to me--"

"I did no such thing, I told you, she means nothing Jane."

"Well that didn't look like nothing Alec!" she yelled, pointing in the direction of the lobby, her chest was moving up and down as she tried to breathe, her arms crossed. I looked down at the floor, trying to figure out my plan of action, on how I as to deal with a outraged sister when this sort of thing never happened before. When I looked up at my twin's face I saw pain, the pain I caused, and I realized then that I couldn't tell her anything about how I felt with Nez, that the bond itself could only go so deep.

"Come now sister, you know me better then that." I reassured her, I started to grab hold of her hands in mine, only to comfort her, though it didn't look like it was working at all, because Jane fletched away from my grasp.

"The brother I knew would never waste his time on a pesky little half-breed--"

"_Don't_…don't be like that okay, I'm doing what Aro asks, that is it!"

"Ha! That's a joke. Tell me Alec, do you see the plan working? Or do you have to sleep with her to see that you've fallen for her?!."

"Damn it Jane! Would you stop? No wonder no one cares for you. Your acting ridiculous!"

My voice was no longer my own anymore, I felt as though I had no control over what I said or did at this point, as I looked at my sister to deny anything that she would put against me, I saw shock and confusion.

Oh how I wished, now more then ever that I had more self control over my mouth, but it was to late. The words were out and in the open and there was nothing I could do, I was feeling as though I had no choice, my best bet of getting out of the conversation before she'd really think I had fallen for Renesmee, and leave her to sulk. If I stayed any longer, I doubt I'll find the reason to deny, because in all honesty, I did. I liked her, not just as someone to sleep with but as a person in general. Even when she butted into my life, I knew that it didn't matter, because she awakened complicated emotions that I promised myself I will never feel.

As I started to walk away from Jane before anymore damage was done, my sister spoke in a serious voice, a voice I hadn't heard in over a thousand years.

"What do you think he'll say brother?" she asked, as I turned to face her, puzzled as to what she was talking about. She just simply smiled, walking around me in circles. I could see the wheels practically turning in that wicked mind of hers. I have after all known her all my life, I would be one of the few to actually understood how it worked. Still didn't make it less dangerous.

"Who?"

"Edward. What do you think he'll say when Renesmee goes home, and tells daddy dearest that she's spent her time kissing one of Aro's favorites. I mean I don't suppose he'd open his arms to you, not after everything you've done in your past, after everything your doing _still_. You're a Volturi, Aro's venom runs through your blood Alec, when I told you, you'd never leave our family, do you think I didn't have reason for it? I'm just saying this of course, to protect you. To kill it before you end up hurt, before you both--"

"Please, Nez is the least of your worries."

"True, _Nez _isn't. it's only you, but if you start to have feelings--"

I stopped her from carrying on the topic of feelings, because it was one of those topics that I promised myself years ago that I would never bring up with Jane. We weren't the type of siblings who'd stay up all night, talking about our days and crushes. Jane knew that. We were the type that enjoyed the power. The power and respect people gave us. I can remember waking up after our transformation. Knowing and feeling that our human abilities has only doubted, that we were strong and more powerful and when I realized that Jane's power was the same, It thrilled me that they both never had to worry about human emotions again, that it was all a part of our past.

I intend to make sure it stays that way.

As for what she said about Edward welcoming me into the family, I knew It to be true. Which was the reason why I had to keep my head on straight. I wasn't going to develop anymore then I already have. I liked her. I did not however love her, and though part of me wishes for it to be different, that that part of me wishes to be excepted, Jane was right.

I never will be. I just had to remind myself of that, and thank god Nez just lusted me.

"I have no feelings for her, I was just doing what Aro asked of me. What you think you saw was apart of your own agenda. Make her fall in love with me, and dump her. So, if you'd excuse me, I was busy doing a job, before you and Felix came--"

"Do you think I'm stupid?!"

_Oh she knows me too well._

After moments of trying to figure out the best lie, I realized that Jane and I are one and the same. It was no use. She'd know within the second so I might as well spill my heart out. Only not giving her the glory details of everything. Lord knows I couldn't be bothered by the embarrassment of my weakness.

As I chucked in a joking matter, I started walking towards my sister. Looking at her dead in the eyes. Trying to convince her with all my will. Shaking my head with doubt.

"Fine, If you don't believe me, then believe this, I am aware that nothing can happen between Renesmee and myself, you've made it all the more clear. she is _not _staying here much longer Jane, I am only trying to buy time for Aro's idea to wash over. As his plans usually do, so there is no reason for me to get attached. Though I wont lie Jane, I like kissing her, that is where it ends though. I'm a man stuck in a teenage body. Attraction is unavoidable. It will not lead to what you fear, I swear on my life and that of this coven. Now will you please, get. Off. My. Back."

With that said, I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, and then I was gone. To get far away from my so called loving sister, and to think in peace.

I was doomed. I knew that, but couldn't wrap my head around it. I was going to screw up everything Aro had done for me, all because of how a girl whose not even close to my age, makes me feel. Not that age matters. After a couple hundred years, age just becomes a number, birthdays have no meaning to the Volturi, but that doesn't change the fact that I've been in some serious denial about Nez, and that I have seriously underestimated her hold on me.

I Liked her. I LIKED HER?!

Maybe it's just a phase I was going though. Yet I kept thinking as I ran down the halls, that I've had other women, not as a long term thing, but enough to satisfy myself. Older looking women, yet I when kissed them, it didn't feel like it did with Renesmee.

turning away from the direction to Nez's room, my mind was going through what some would call a moral dilemma, that's when I noticed one of the human maids that wanted to be a vampire was looking at me shyly, greeting me with familiar eyes.

I remembered her, It was the girl who donated blood to me in order to stay at peace with Aro's special guest, she was beautiful lady for a human. Dark tan, long black silky hair, her face round and clear.

"Mia…" I said nodding to her.

walking past, I didn't even notice the girl was quickly racing to me, blocking my way, happily. Her brown eyes lit up Christmas tree, as she clapped in the air with rejoice. I have never seem anyone so happy, and all this because I said her name? as I looked at her with a puzzle expression, Mia said something in her naïve tongue and began to show me her tanned neck, her eyes bracing herself from what I can only think of was pain, it was like she was expecting it. Funny, I didn't know what she could be bracing for, it was almost as if--

_Oh god. I was a idiot._

She wants to be bitten. By me of all people.

She looked so hopeful, like she'd do anything for me, if only I'd make her Immortal. Sad thing is, I didn't do the biting around here, especially not so close to our next feeding. I'd probably end up killing her, and after the left over anger I had, I had no doubt about it. She'd be dead.

Throwing my hands in the air to stop her from babbling on and on, encouraging me to get the deed done, I gave Mia a apologetic look and shook my head at her, which made her frown.

"No, Mia. You haven't earn it yet, but I promise your well on the top of the list, next in line actually."

It was all a lie. It was something, we Volturi did to those who wanted to be changed. Bella Swan was the only exception, and I believe it was because of two reasons. One, Aro wanted to see if Bella's power could possibly be of use to us in the future, and two, dear Carlisle was a good friend of ours. Still, I felt bad about the lie, and when I thought about how hopeful Mia looked, I decided that I would give her another task, to get her mind off the disappointment.

"Mia, do you remember Renesmee? Mr. Aro's guest?"

The girl tilted her head at me, and begun to shake her head, when suddenly it dawned on her that she remembered who I was talking about.

"Ah! Your…uhh..Mate? Si?"

My eyes grew wide at the word used. Was my attachment so apparent that even the help could see it? Of course I had Mia help me win Nez over that one time but really? did this mere human honestly think that my and Renesmee's relationship was that serious? I began to shake my head, quickly. Very, _very_ quickly.

"No, the guest. The girl?"

"Si, Si..Mr. Alec's Mate."

I slapped my palm to my forehead. It was no use. No matter what I said to her, she was going to believe what she wanted, and I couldn't change her mind. I felt so defeated. I couldn't even imagine Nez as my mate. It was such a commitment, to promise you'd love and stay with that one person for all of your immortal life, it was like getting married, without the till death do us part nonsense. Being mates was a serious matter, so serious that not even Chelsea could change the loyalties of such a thing. To think that the humans around this place thought that I, Alec made that commitment to Renesmee Cullen, when just today, I realized that what I felt for Nez was beyond lust, it made me want to laugh.

"Believe what you will Mia, just understand that I have a request for you, another favor for…my _mate_." I spoke in the nicest tone I could come up with. Mia nodded and got out a hand-held notebook from her pocket and a pen to write with, the human leaned in intently so she wouldn't missed a word. I sighed and roughed up my hair.

"Renesmee needs more clothes. Lots of them. I want you to go shopping, and bring them back. She's about this high, and this much around, she likes a lot of bright colors, only don't bring anything with to many prints, it's to distracting from her eyes, and she…she has beautiful eyes. Understood?"

Mia was not helping with my feelings what so ever. The more I thought about Renesmee's new clothes, the more I wondered when I would see her in them and then my mind went completely against me, and started putting imagines of her in the bra from before in my head, without a shirt all together.

I was a slave to the male gender, and it made me even sick. How was a person to focus when someone like Nez was popping in one's mind like this. Shirtless at that. I wasn't going to last, I was going to drive myself crazy, especially now that I kissed her. now that I've tasted her.

I looked into Mia's eyes, and she looked like the was waiting for me to continue about what I wanted her to do, a smirk to her face.

"Si, si…beautiful eyes…" I didn't like the way her voice said that, it was like she was seeing right through me, and I didn't like it. Renesmee was not my mate, I just happened to love kissing her, and occasional thoughts of doing more. Nothing too serious, everyone thinks about that, I am a man. A weak man maybe, but a man non the less! And I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who wanted to bed Edward's daughter.

So wrong on so many levels.

"Can you just go do what I asked?!"

Mia continued to smirk as she slowly walked away, her voice low and sneaky as she spoke to herself.

"Il ragazzo non ha indizio…"

I wasn't stupid. As part of the Volturi, I knew Italian very well, it was my second language, and if I was not mistaken, She said, 'The boy has no clue.' Only I did. I had control over this, I'd go to Nez and act as I normally would, because it was just a kiss. It was nothing, just a harmless contact of skin which was currently driving me mad to tears, if I could cry. All I had to focus on now is to keep my promise to Jane, and to please Aro until he forgets this little fantasy of his. Its perfect. That way, Nez returns to her own life, and I stay here in my little corner, things will go back to normal in no time.

"I do have a clue, Mia. Not that your opinion was needed." I called out to her, but she was already out of the hallway, I swore I could hear her giggling.

I spent most of the night coming up with ways to approach and handle my problem. Listening to the Masters go on and on was going to make me want to set myself on fire, so I just tuned them out and put them on mute. And when the morning came I knew I had to face Nez. Avoiding the kiss was not going to be simple, I knew she had enjoyed the encounter as well, and with her being a girl, she was bound to want to talk about it. Not that I had a lot of experience with girls, the only girl I was close to was Jane, and she doesn't kiss. Not that I know of at least.

Still, I had to try and avoid the subject, if it was at all humanly possible.

Ha, humanly.

After Aro dismissed us to start the new day, I went straight to Nez's room, praying she was still asleep.

I was wrong, of course.

When I opened the door, there she sat, beautiful as ever. She was laying down on her back, one knee propped up, and a book resting on her chest as she read it. Her hair was a total mess, it was up in a loose ponytail on the top of her head, strands of hair falling from every angle, framing her face and neck. She was wearing only a black sports bra and very short shorts, it was like she was purposely trying to lure me. Her bare waist was visible to my eyes, that I caught myself staring at her adorable belly button, I noticed she was an innie, which made it all the more attractive. Her skin was so creamy and flawless, her long legs smooth and sleek. I was studying every curve I could see, all the way from her pink painted toenails to her eyes, which were staring right at me, her mouth partly open. Not a word coming from either of us. Her lips were calling to me, reminding me of yesterdays events. I didn't know what was happening to me, like I said I had no intention of kissing her again.

But once again, all rational thought went out the window as soon I stepped into her presence. I had no thought of Jane or Aro, I wasn't thinking about loyalties or traditions, I wasn't thinking about her family, or my responsibilities as a guard. All I was focused on now was her mouth, and as I found myself drifting closer and closer to her, she stood up from the bed, meeting me halfway. It all felt very slow motion, like I couldn't get to her fast enough.

And when I finally reached her, our mouths compacted, my cold skin merging with her warmth. My hands pressed against the small part of her back, pulling her into me, I wasn't going for soft kisses now. It was far too late for that. Without hesitation, I parted her mouth and began to stroke her tongue with mine, making her body respond in ways that caused my own to come alive. She breathed heavily into mouth, her heart beat racing at a speed unimaginable. Her tongue was like fire to the touch. I craved for more, it was like the animalistic traits in both of us couldn't get enough. That all this time of us denying only made things harder, making the need we had for each other increase. Every heated conversation, every touch, every unspoken desire, even every argument was being poured into this. We no longer had control. I wanted her, even my body wanted her, in a way that only my fantasies were aware of.

"Alec. I want--I need you…" she managed to gasp as I kissed down her neck. She tasted so sweet on my lips. Like the sweetest blood I have ever consumed.

I'm not going to lie, I was hard, v_ery _hard that it would be apparent to those in outer space, but I didn't care, not when I could feel her swollen, stone breasts pressed up against my chest, and knowing that she wanted it now wasn't helping. As she called my name out again, I gripped on to her bare thighs and pushed her up in my arms, Nez instantly wrapping her legs around my waist as she pulled my hair lightly.

I knew I wanted to please her and my self and at the time, I had every intention of doing so. I was going to pleasure her until she felt nothing, make her scream into my ear so loud that I would hear it echoing for days. I wanted to know what she felt like inside, beneath me, kissing me as I bedded her. It was such a strange feeling. Knowing I could possess her and she wanted me to obviously because she was ready. She was wet, so wet that I could feel it against me, as my hands on her back found their way up and under the annoying sports bra, I heard Nez gasp. My fingers brushing under the edge on bare breast, making me feel such victory.

I don't know how much Renesmee has done in the past, but as I walked quickly to the bed with her in my arms, her warm fingers, shook slightly as she unbuttoned my jacket.

_Oh god. _

Kissing her down the neck, my hands roamed her body, looking into her eyes I waited for her consent, she just smiled, and quickly, with her small hands pulled my jacket off completely.

She then paused, and looked me deep in the eyes. I stared back in confusion, I didn't understand why she was looking at me so intensely all of the sudden.

But then she spoke, and I honestly didn't know how I was to respond.

"Tell me how you feel about me, Alec. I want to know what this is…" Her big eyes were staring up at me, beautiful and delicate. I couldn't say a word; I didn't know what to say. She wanted to know how I felt about her, and I couldn't give her an answer, as much as I wanted to. Because even I didn't know what it was I was experiencing. I didn't understand my feelings; I didn't know how to process them. So when she asked me, how could I give her an answer? I didn't know what she wanted to hear, I didn't know how she felt about me completely, though I know it was stupid of me, I felt sudden fear. Like if I say to much, that all this would end badly, as I tried to kiss her again, she turned her face, where my lips brushed her cheek, that was when we were interrupted. By my better judgment.

It was like a flash before my eyes, my death in the hands of the Volturi, all because of this. The disappointment of my family and hers. And that's when I realized something.

_I can't do this._

"Nez, I don't think we should--…."

"Why?!…don't you care a little?"

I sighed, and she frowned, understanding what I was going to do. I quickly got up, and looked for the jacket she had discarded, finding in across the room. I hadn't even noticed she threw it, though in my defense, my mind was complete gone. Picking up the jacket, I sensed tension coming from Nez.

Just then I remembered Jane's voice and what she said to me prior to this, about Edward and about how this would end.

_Edward. What do you think he'll say when Renesmee goes home, and tells daddy dearest that she's spent her time kissing one of Aro's favorites? I mean I don't suppose he'd open his arms to you, not after everything you've done in your past, after everything your doing still. You're a Volturi, Aro's venom runs through your blood Alec, when I told you, you'd never leave our family, do you think I didn't have reason for it? I'm just saying this of course, to protect you. To kill it before you end up hurt, before you both--_

Her voice was still so clear, and even when I wanted to so bad to be with Nez in that way, I couldn't go through with it, it would end badly and only leave things in much worse condition that before. And though it hurt me to pull away, I had to.

"Nez, understand we can't be like this, I want too, you know I do, but we can't..." I reasoned, though the look on her face told me she wasn't listening to reason. She wanted to finish what we had started, though to be honest I'm not sure how far we would have gotten anyway. As far as I was concerned it was just one big make-out session, one that I enjoyed too much. too much apparently.

"What do you mean, we can't? You were the one who started all of this!" She snapped, clearly offended that I riled her up, I couldn't blame her for that. I was riling my myself up, for nothing.

She jumped up from the bed and stomped by, placing her hands on her hips, glaring at me. I could sense her anger circling the room around me, it was easy to see that she was pissed. Her eyebrows pulled together, and her face seemed more red than usual. Of course her heart was still racing.

"Well? What's the problem now, Alec? will this keep happening, we kiss, and you walk away? Do you keep pulling away because you're reminded of how you're getting up close and personal with a _mutt_?"

"Stop it, Renesmee. You are being ridiculous." I snapped, gripping onto my hair as if I was going to pull it out of my skull. This girl was going to cause me so much stress, for doing the right thing, no less! If I could age I would be having grey hairs by now.

"It was just kissing, it wasn't going to lead to anything. It…it didn't mean anything. I have more control then that-"

"Kissing? You call that just kissing!?"

_Maybe that was the wrong way of putting it._

I simply nodded as she fumed; she began to growl low in her throat. It was low, but it meant business, I knew she wouldn't understand any of this, cause she didn't think about the future, or the consequences of our actions and how they would reflect everything and everybody. We had to think about others, not ourselves. if only I could make her see that. I had to get that into her head, if that was possible. She was stubborn after all, making her understand would be practically impossible! As I stepped closer to her, Nez stepped back.

"Well I'd love you know what you interpret as screwing, Alec!" She yelped, and in a fast speed she was in the bathroom, and locked the door.

I didn't know what to do, I hadn't been in the situation either. Apart of me wanted her to sit and sulk until she got over it, but the more noble side of me knew better. I didn't like seeing her upset, even though it shouldn't have mattered to me.

Walking to the bathroom door, I searched for the words to say, though I knew they probably wouldn't do much for me. When I began to knock, I suddenly froze. hearing something, I didn't expect.

I heard footsteps in the hallway outside her room. Many of them. As I tried to figure out what I was going to do with Nez, the bathroom door swung open. her face puffy and red, her arms folded across her chest, glaring at me.

"What are you still doing here?!" she asked, as I opened the door into the hallway and looked to confirm what I knew to be true.

It was feeding time.

"Alec..?"

I didn't know how to prepare her for what she was about to witness. She had never seen exactly how we fed, the group of tourists, nothing.

But before I could say anything, it was too late. The crowd had arrived, People of different races and ages from 8 to 50 at least. All being escorted to their death. Staying completely quite, I heard Heidi asking me if I was joining them, I ignored her, keeping my eyes on Nez's confused face. I slowly started to walk towards her, when suddenly I heard Felix chuckling in the hall.

"I call dibs on the blonde in the front." I heard him whisper, his voice not quite loud enough for the humans to hear, but loud enough for Renesmee to.

That's when she realized what was going on. when I glanced back at her face, Nez's eyes widened in horror, as she covered her mouth with her hand, like it would keep her screams of sadness from escaping. Her chest was heaving up and down rapidly, trying to catch her breath. She was having a panic attack, I was sure of it. And though I promised I wouldn't kiss her anymore, I could still be concerned about her health, that was something I couldn't control.

I am so emotionally disabled.

I closed the bedroom door and in an instant, I was guiding her to the bed, I was now in desperate need for her to calm down, but it was a wasted effort. She started shaking her head, trying to block out reality.

"All those people…they're….lunch?" Her voice was so weak and vulnerable, it made me feel guilty. Not for what I am, but for her witnessing it.

I'm just not having my type of day. One minute, I'm jumping her bones when I swore I wouldn't. And the next I'm denying her advances. Then to top it all off, today just had to be feeding day.

Just. My. Luck.

"Renesmee, you need to breathe."

"No, you need to tell them to stop." Right on cue, the screaming began. "_Make it stop!" _Tears were falling down her cheeks, and I placed my hands over her ears, trying to block out the sound as best I could. Though it was unavoidable, it filled the whole place. After a few moments, I came up with an idea on how to distract her. She always wanted to know things about me, I still couldn't figure out why, though if it would help take her mind off of reality, I would do just about anything.

"Ask me something. Anything." I said, rubbing her back, she raised her eyes at me, in surprise.

"You're bluffing."

"No, I'm serious. Anything you want to know."

She seemed to be second guessing me, I didn't know if she was taking me serious or not. I doubted she believed me. But then another wave of screams came, and it was like Nez was becoming desperate for anything.

"Ahh! Uh-- Okay, I'll go along. Um, what's your favorite color?"

I laughed. Out of all things she wanted to know that?

"I don't know…red." I blurted. Her eyes widened at my choice. That's when it hit me; I was making it all worse and not better.

"Red? As in…blood red? What's wrong with you? Why can't you just pick-"

"Okay! Okay, black? Blacks a good color!"

"Black is not a color, it's a shade."

"Damn it, is there no pleasing you, woman?! Ask another question I can give you the right answer to!"

She started laughing slightly at that, it made me feel like I was accomplishing something. After a few moments of trying to catch her breathe, her mind searched for more questions. I was about to give up on her coming up with one, till finally her voice spoke, in a childlike matter.

"What was your eye color when you were human?" She asked, this time she seemed more interested in knowing that answer. I honestly hadn't thought about my human eye color in ages, I wondered why she would want to know that, because by the look in her eyes, it would seem that she's been wondering for quite some time. So odd.

"Brown." I stated, wondering if she would buy it.

Her eyes narrowed, and she raised an eyebrow at me. She suspected otherwise, as I had presumed she would. Nothing passed her, not even things that happened centuries ago. When she wanted to know something, she would find the answer one way or another; I found that out the hard way. And as much as it annoyed me, I admired her for it, not everyone had that determination. I just couldn't understand why the would have such strong curiosity for a being like myself.

"Brown?" She sounded skeptical.

"Yes, brown."

"I don't believe that."

"Fine, they were green."

She seemed to consider than one, but she still didn't look convinced. She really was so stubborn.

"They were blue." She said, as if it wasn't as a question. She said it like a known fact. And she was right, of course. She amazed me beyond belief with her certainty. how did she know? How could she see that part of me that has been gone for a long time? I thought back to my human days, it was so long ago, but yet I can still remember little details like that. My eyes. I hadn't thought of the color in ages that it felt foreign, I could remember being thankful for them though, because Jane had always wished for the shade herself, but she wasn't blessed as I was. Still, it's not like it mattered now, they were red as most vampire eyes were, but then again it distracted her from the now dulling sound outside this room, so why complain?

"Yes, they were blue. My mother always said I had the brightest bluest eyes in the village, not that my mother matters all that much…" I trailed off, not wanting to get into that conversation. Nez quickly placed her hand on my cold cheek, making my chest feel light as she looked at me with tender eyes.

I finally felt like I was getting somewhere in her distraction, but the accomplishment vanished quickly when I heard a female scream. She must of escaped the throne room because we could hear her outside the door, banging on it, begging for help. Sometimes the humans managed to escape the main room, but they never got far. After all, how could they? Vampire speed was not something human's take to considering when trying to make a run for it, though I admire their attempts, some humans can be more difficult to catch then others, though it seems this one wasn't.I could see by the look on Nez's face her heart was aching to open that door and try to save her, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. If anything, it would make matters worst, possibly death on her end. I couldn't allow that to happen either, so I just held her hands tight, making her focus on my eyes.

she was shaking now though, practically sobbing. I wanted to make it stop for her, and the only way I could think of how to do that was to numb her hearing senses enough to where she wouldn't hear anything outside this room.

_Why didn't I think of that before?_

Nez was mumbling nonsense I couldn't understand, as I just ran my hands over her cheeks, trying to comfort her as I let the mist eject from my body, letting it surround her.

She stopped crying when she realized what I was doing. Nez then looked at me with awe, her eyes wide and fascinated as to what I was doing. I cupped her face, just staring at her, waiting for the screaming to end, and within time, Nez heart beat slowed to normalcy. Well, her normalcy.

As Nez's breathing returned to normal, she seemed to relax a bit, obviously feeling more secure with my cutting off her hearing. Under normal circumstances, I would have never done this to her, but desperate times call for desperate measures, as they say.

When the screaming was officially over, I allowed the mist to fade slowly, still staring at me, a smile crept up on her face. Her pearl white teeth showing though her mouth, as her eyes looked at me in wonder. I've never had that kind of response before to my powers. It felt oddly comforting.

"That was really interesting…I mean I know you had made me deaf the first day I got here, remember? We were walking down the hall? But that…can you make me blind, too?" She sounded way too curious, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"No."

I was glad she was feeling better, but I wasn't going to cut of her senses for the hell of it. Did she even know what I used my ability for most the time? I used it on vampires who are on trial, so they wont run away, or I used it on the humans I fed on. It wasn't suppose to be a fun activity.

"You said anything I wanted."

"No, I said anything you wanted to know." I corrected.

"Well I want to know what it feels like to be blind." She said sternly, but when I didn't say anything her face softened into a pout. "Please? Please, please, please? Only for a little while, I promise." She begged, giving me the puppy dog look that I couldn't resist.

I sighed in frustration, surrendering myself in defeat. I simply couldn't say no to her.

_I've become the world's biggest pushover, haven't I?_

"Don't forget, you asked for it."

Smirking at her as I let the mist surround her, her eyes, which were so focused on what she wanted, transformed into a glazy look, not focusing on anything. I had no idea why anyone would want to experience blindness, but Nez seemed to think of it as a learning experience. I on the other hand thought it was beyond stupid, I realize this may sound odd coming from someone whose power is to numb people, but I always thought one should always be thankful for their sight and/or hearing. Not play in fate's sandbox for fun. Still it was something else, watching her take this in. almost sensual. After moments of watching, I slowly reached over and brushed her loose hair out of her face, Nez jumping to the touch as I knew she would.

"Whoa…" She mumbled, grinning to herself, slowly reaching out in front of her, trying to touch me back. In that split second I thought of something fun, well fun for me. She wanted to be blind, I was going to give her the full effect, maybe then she wouldn't be curious as to what it felt like, maybe it was what she needed.

Before her fingers reached my cheek, I moved out of her grasp and in a fast speed, running to the other side of the room, right next to her bathroom door, I smiled playfully.

feeling the gush of wind of my absence, Nez eyebrows creased with confusion. The look on her face was priceless beyond belief.

"Alec? Alec, c'mon this isn't funny." She said, waving her arms around. I chuckled silently. After she walked into the dresser a couple of times, I decided I just couldn't be so harsh to her. She'd end up with a breaking something probably. Walking back to her bed, Nez sat there with her arms cross, as if she truly thought I left her.

_Silly girl._

"Polo…" I called out to her in a playful voice. Her eyes narrowed as she got up off the bed, this time with a annoyed expression on her face as she tried following my voice, but I moved before she could reach me. I was now in a corner right next to her dresser, using my elbow as a prob.

"Polo…" I said again, she whipped her head around in many directions, trying to find me.

"I don't want to play, Alec!"

Nez started, frowning. as I tried so hard not to laugh, for it would give me away. It was hard though, in fact I had never anything this funny in all my existence, but I kept mute. If she didn't want to play, I wouldn't. But I continued to stay silent as she stumbled around the room calling my name. I could see the frustration building up inside her rapidly when I was not replying her calls. I was beginning to think she was never going to talk to me again and call me all kinds of names, but instead, she sighed loudly and rolled her eyes.

"Marco?" She said reluctantly, I grinned in triumph. But I still didn't say anything, just so I could hear her say it again. I wanted her to give in completely, even if she didn't want too.

This really was entertaining. I had never thought my ability could make me this amused and smug, it was making me finally proud of my gift in a different way then usual. Hearing Nez complain again, I couldn't help but feel as though, she should have known I wasn't going to play fair, I mean doesn't she know me at all?

"Marco, damn it!" She yelled louder. I smirked wickedly.

This was my cue. In an instant I was right behind her, her body tensing from the surprise as my chest pressed against her back. My arms wrapped around her, caressing her jaw.

"Come on, Nez you wanted to be blind. " I whispered in her ear, my lips barely touching her neck. She seemed to shiver. But before she could turn around I was gone again, I circled her to where I was now facing her, only she didn't know it. I don't know why, but I've never played this game before. Not even when I was at the appropriate age, but somehow I felt like I was a pro already.

Mumbling a couple of words, she took a step forward, finally getting into the game. I wanted her to rely on her senses. I was curious on how good they were, and so far she hadn't done anything to make me they were to superior to my own. It was actually pitiful.

"Your getting warmer…" I taunted her, she took this as an encouragement, because she charged at me, but once again I whipped around her before she could grasp onto me.

I laughed as she fumed.

"You know what? I don't care where you are. I'm not _playing _anymore_._ I'll just find my own way around." She stated in the direction that she thought I was in, her pale face, smiling slightly, as if she thought that would count as her defeat. Only I was behind her, not in front of her, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to quit my new favorite game. As she stumbled around the room, obviously trying to find the bed, but was having not a lot of luck. I stared at her, a grin to my face.

"I know your smiling, and it's not funny!" She snapped, and just like that I was in front of her, lowering her body onto the bed that she was right in front of, though she didn't realize it. She gasped at the suddenness of my contact with her, but she didn't protest me when I practically pinned her the bed. Her heart skipped a beat again, and she blushed.

Damn it! Once again, I had taken it too far. Why could I not keep myself in check? This was insane! I tensed, and in an instant was off of her, now laying beside on her the bed. This couldn't do any damage. Could it?

_I am so sick of this._

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. You were so clueless…" I shrugged, she laughed a little but then the laugh turned into a glare. She sighed, and looked at me. figuratively speaking of course.

"Your mean."

"I never said I was a nice person, Nez." I reasoned, maybe this was the chance I needed to explain to her how this would never work. She had the right to know, it wasn't fair to her, or to me. Especially when I kept going back on my word. I used to think I was strong, but more and more lately it seems like I'm losing control of myself. I've always been level headed, I knew what I was going to do and I stuck to the plan. But now? I had no idea what I was doing, she was literally turning my world upside down. I was so tempted once again to kiss her, but I wouldn't.

"Nez, about what we did, before--"

"You can be nice when you want to be, " She mumbled, and fumbled a pillow with her hands, completely cutting me off.

"Like for example, it would be nice of you to give me my sight back…"

I laughed softly, forgetting what I was about to and leaned forward to kiss each of her closed eyelids gently, as I gave her sight back, my nose bushed against her soft hair. She smelled amazing, like always, but for some reason right now the scent was intoxicatingly wonderful. It was lavender, again. I didn't know why she always smelled like lavender, but she did.

That was when I decided that lavender was my favorite scent. On her, it was in fact mouthwatering.

When I pulled away from her she opened her eyes and blinked, overwhelmed by being able to see again.

"Can I ask you something? it's a simple question, I swear." She asked, looking nervous all of the sudden. I could scarcely think of things for her to ask me that were simple questions. I didn't think she knew the meaning of a 'simple' question. But of course, I was going to let her ask.

"What?"

"Well, I was thinking…Aro really wants me to go with a…escort to my birthday party. And honestly, who better than you to take me as a favor? I mean, you're the only one I could think of and I should hate you, for earlier, but since you helped me with the…um..ya know, I thought you'd…" She was ringing her hands now, she was nervous I was going to turn her down.

So silly.

I smirked at her, and sighed.

"I thought you didn't want to go to at all."

"I changed my mind," She said, a little defensive now. She obviously was not wanting be to beat around the bush, but to just give her an answer.

I was horrible, I knew it, but I wanted mess around with her a bit, besides I had to think what this meant. If it would be in encouraging any harmful emotions. It would be like a date in a since. Can a date be so bad? Looking back at Nez, I saw hope, then when I knew that I didn't care about the harm at all, since I should probably consult this with Aro, on where or not it would be a good idea.

"Well, I don't know, I'll have to think about it." I teased, as she narrowed her eyes. She was so beautiful when she was annoyed. She was beautiful all the time, she just had that natural effect. I honestly kept expecting my heart to start beating any moment when I was with her, I wouldn't doubt she could do that to me. She controlled everything else, why not my heart?

"Yes or no, Alec. it's a one time offer." She said in a dull tone. Her good mood had vanished rather quickly.

"Hmmm…" I pretended to think about it, as if I was checking my schedule in my head. Nez waited impatiently as I cocked my head to one side and squinted my eyebrows.

"Well!?"

"Maybe you'll see me there." I gave her my answer, and got up off the bed, putting on my jacket, buttoning it up as I ran my fingers though my hair. Keeping it out of my face.

"Forget it, I don't want you to come." She said in the cutest voice imaginable, like a little girl who didn't get exactly what she wanted for Christmas.

I smiled at her, and shook my head. she probably wanted me to come a lot more then she was letting on and it felt good to see it. Very good.

"Well if that's how you really feel…" I let my voice trail off as I started towards her door. I heard her huff.

"Well is that a no!?" She called out, sounding desperate for some kind of communication. I really was cruel, wasn't I? Here I was, joking around with her like this. But I wanted to keep her on her toes, it was fun. She didn't think so of course but being that I'm over 900 years old and she isn't, it'd be normal for us to have different ways of contentment with our existences.

"No."

"Then is it a yes?"

"No…I'll see you later, Nez." I replied, and with that I walked out, leaving her completely aggravated with me.

"_I hate you!" _She called out after I shut her door, I chuckled to myself, walking down the long hall towards my own room.

But the more I walked, the more I thought about how much I disliked hearing those words come from her mouth.

I hate you.

That was the last thing I wanted her to feel for me, I couldn't bear the thought of her hating me, but I wouldn't blame her if she would grow to loathe me, if she didn't already.

Why did I care so much? Why should I care so much?

Maybe my thoughts were right. Maybe I really should stop fooling myself and admit like the man I was that I have actual, genuine feelings for her. that's what I was doing wasn't I? trying to talk myself out of something that felt so wonderful? After all, why was I so persistent on her realizing that we could never be? Why I was so worried what Edward thought about?

Because I was falling for Renesmee Cullen, and it scared the hell of me.

_God, help us all._

* * *

**Writers Note: SO SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! Tiff is having major problems with her computer meaning that its 'dead'.**** Yes we realize that Alec seems really bipoler, but he has alot going on, with Aro and Jane and plus his feelings for Renesmee, it gets confusing to him. But, things will thin out soon, and he wont be as jerky with his emotions. ****THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS YOU ARE BLOWING OUR MINDS!!**

**We are already working on chapter 11. Hopefully we will have it up before Christmas! But..please don't get your hopes up, because of the computer situation, you never know. But we'll try to get it up as soon as possible! **

**Thank you all so much again! You guys are part of the reason we keep writing!! As much as we write for our own enjoyment and amusment, ya'll are the ones that keep is going! So thank you!**

**Oh-- and don't forget to check out our profile to see outfits, you might wanna take a look at our blog...a little crazy, explains what happend when we met Peter Facinelli (we're not bragging, we swear) the blog in general is insane...but fun!! so..go!**

**Much Love,**

**~IITM**


	11. Chapter 11: Seven Little Candles

**Chapter 11: Seven Little Candles**

**Renesmee's POV**

Life if full of unexpected turns and twists, I've learned that on my voyage to self discovery. This time last year, I was sitting at home with my family, opening presents and eating cake, along with my Uncle Emmett, who gagged it up later. I even have a picture to prove it. This all seemed like it was a million years ago now. I have become a different person, as if I was experiencing the world through different eyes. Things were clearer, more realistic, I knew Alec was the cause of all this. I also knew that he didn't want us to get too involved, but after a nights rest I realized I didn't care anymore.

I didn't care if he was scared or not, or what our families thought of it, I knew what I wanted. I wanted him. Not just in a physical aspect, my feelings ran deeper than that, although I didn't know exactly how deep they were, it was enough. I wasn't stupid, somewhere deep in my brain I knew I was being irrational, and it was dangerous. That was an understatement. He was a Volturi, an enemy to my coven, -sort of- and not only that, we had completely different diets, he fed on humans, I obviously didn't. It nearly killed me yesterday to witness what I had, it was one of the hardest things I had to endure in my short existence. Was I willing to go through that everyday for him? Was I willing to look past the fact he was murdering innocent people, while I sat back and fed on animals?

So many questions, so many headaches.

I currently had a headache, which was part of the reason why I was taking a shower. I was hoping it would help, it wasn't.

Though the knob was on hot, it felt cold against me as it ran over my face and body, my hands holding me against the tiled wall.

I looked down at my body, so inexperienced, yet so ready. The kiss yesterday had stirred up things I didn't know were fathomable. It was the most erotic thing I had ever experienced, his tongue invading my mouth, it felt better than I imagined it to be, and it definitely tasted better too. I wondered then what he would look like here with me now, his naked, pale skin dripping wet as it held me. My body ached for him as I thought about him planting kisses along my own naked body. His eyes bold and daring, staring into me as his hands explored my lower region. He then would slowly get down on his knees, trail kisses down my stomach, his red eyes, standing out against the steam, would never leave me, his hands gripping the back of my thighs as he did so, massaging them repeatedly, further and further his lips went until they finally reached the tip of my nest of curls. Stupid imagination.

Meanwhile in reality, I was bracing the walls of the shower, breaking a small shelf that held soaps and the shampoos, trying to keep the moans from escaping my lips. I was getting too carried away with my little fantasy. My heart felt as though it had stopped all together, my stomach turning, my breathing turning into heaves.

I was insane.

It was bad enough that I wanted him, but now I was succumbing to daydreams? At least I was in the shower, Alec couldn't catch me in here, not that I didn't want him to.

_I need help!_

What is this? I thought I was suppose to become a woman this year, not a complete horn dog! Did I miss the memo? My mother had not warned me about this. Maybe my body was catching up with my mind, finally. But if this is what my mind was going to be thinking about all the time, I was screwed.

I had to gain control of this, at least long enough for my party.

Speaking of, it was tonight, and I still had no clue what I was going to wear. I had run out of clothes completely, and I had no time to shop.

Turning off the water, I wrapped a peach color towel around my body, wiped off the steamy mirror, looking at my reflection. Truth be told, I looked rough. I had dark circles under my eyes, my face was flushed. It didn't help matters that I was thirsty, but didn't have the guts to tell anyone about it. I glanced at the mirror one last time, trying to think positive, but it was getting harder.

I had never thought of myself as beautiful, and when I told my family that they thought I was being modest. I had dreamed ever since I was little, that I would have one of those days where I could walk into a room where a boy would see me as not being abnormally gorgeous, but to look at me as though he loved me for who I was, inside and out.

_It'll never happen._

With that thought, I walked out of the bathroom to see boxes and boxes full of clothes.

My mind started to search for an explanation, the only person who I could think of who would buy me clothes was Alice, but she wasn't here, and she didn't know where I was, as far as I knew.

As I opened the boxes, my eyes caught glance of a piece of paper sticking out. I picked it up to read:

_Thought you could use these, not that I don't prefer you in your undergarments, I figured you could use the covering. _

_Do them justice,_

_Alec._

My eyes scanned the words over and over, studying the curves and delicate form of his handwriting. It looked like calligraphy in my eyes. I tossed the note on the bed and started to look through the clothes. They were tasteful, full of colors, solid patterns, and vintage styles.

He knew me well.

Everything in the boxes seemed to be about my size, nothing too big or small, nothing too drastic, which suited me fine.

I picked out something to wear from the first box of clothes, It was a black spaghetti strap shirt, some simple blue jeans that suited my figure well, and flip-flops. It seemed like I wasn't putting much effort into this outfit, but truth be told I just didn't really care. I was thankful for the clothes, and I should thank him properly shouldn't I? after all, he went out of his way to buy me clothes, and Besides, Alec deserved to give me a proper answer to my question from yesterday. I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to know how he felt about me, and I hadn't forgotten about it. Plus, I asked him a favor, which he made a mockery of, I wanted to know his answer on that one too.

I felt like I was the one who always wanted answers from him, and he never cooperated. It was starting to get annoying.

_Yet another adventure in the world of Alec. _

Pulling back my hair into a ponytail, I started heading to Alec's room, even though I didn't know if he was there or not.

Knocking twice on the door, I began to get very nervous, it was a little earlier than I usually saw him. I wasn't even sure of what to expect. Would he be shocked to see me? Would he be angry at me showing up at his door? The more I stood there, the more I wanted to run, and was about to, but as soon as I turned to leave, I heard the click of the door opening, it was to late, I had to stay.

I was right about not knowing what to expect, because I wasn't expecting to see what I saw when he opened the door to greet me. I wasn't prepared for this type of morning at all.

"Renesmee, what're you doing here?" Alec said, leaning against the frame of the door. The pressure of his gaze building on my face.

I never looked up at his face, I barley even heard him, I was too distracted by the lack of clothing that I was witnessing on his body. My eyes staying completely still as they moved along his chest. He had to open the door shirtless, didn't he?

Did he not have any sense of my feelings? I mean I know he liked to tease me, but this was going a little too far for comfort.

I had seen a glimpse of his chest once before, I knew that, but it still didn't prepare me for this.

He was flawless, medium build, slightly defined abs and his skin was smooth and beautiful. For a split second I thought about my vision of him in the shower, it didn't do him justice. None whatsoever. The vision I created of him in my head was nowhere near this.

As my eyes scanned his upper chest, I spent too much time focusing on a long chained necklace hanging in between his pecks. The necklace seemed to be like a cherry on top of a fantastic sundae, a sundae I was finding myself wanting to devour whole.

The necklace itself was silver, and the crest was in the form was a V. It was so strange I had never noticed it before, not on him at least, and I had the urge to reach out and touch it.

His body was like a piece of rare art, one that I would wait in line to see in a museum, proudly. I couldn't stop staring at him, I was speechless, with my mouth hanging open like a moron.

"Nez?" He repeated, raising an eyebrow.

I managed to tear my eyes away from the lower half of his body and look up at his face finally. He looked concerned, while I'm sure I looked pretty idiotic; gaping at him like that.

Alec then gestured for me to wait a moment, which I was hoping for because to be honest, I needed a moment to get my head in gear.

After a few seconds waiting, the door swung open and he came out wearing a black dress shirt along with a red scarf that looked almost as silky as my sheets.

I tried not to laugh at it, because didn't want to offend his style, but I hadn't noticed him wearing a scarf before, it caught me off guard. It was like he was dressing up for a Harry Potter convention or something, holding my giggles, Alec then spoke.

"What can I do for you today?" He asked, as I tried to hide a smile, as I looked into those red eyes, I found myself not wanting to resist.

Keeping a level head, I stepped up closer to him and ran my fingers along the soft material of the scarf, gripping onto the collar of his shirt as I did. He looked bewildered, but his body seemed to enjoy my gesture.

"Well, I came to ask about whether or not your coming with me tonight to the party, but I'm getting distracted by your unique choice of clothing…" He looked down at my hands, that were holding on to the scarf. I slowly pulled it off, his eyes closed as the silk brushed against his neck, breathing in deeply.

I took it in my hands and began to fumble with it, twisting it around my fingers. Alec stared, his body was a complete statue, as I continued to play. he looked like he was beyond annoyed and intrigued all at once.

Looking up at his eyes, they looked brighter than usual, and his mouth was parted a little. I liked his response to me, so much that I began to breath on the scarf, making sure that my lips touched it. Glancing at Alec, his brows raised. His chest wasn't moving.

"Your…breathing on my scarf."

"Oh, am I offending its honor?"

"Well it was a gift from Jane." He said jokingly, as if that was the reason why it was being offended.

I smirked and shrugged, throwing it back around his neck, tugging him closer to me.

My heart felt lighter to have him this close, his lips inches from mine. He smelled amazing, as per usual, and I inhaled deeply to carve it in my memory, I wanted to stay here for as long as possible, and it did seem like a while until he spoke, breaking the spell.

"Before you insulted my wardrobe, you were asking me about tonight?"

I nodded, making a mhm sound, Alec tilted his head as I fixed his collar. His hands finding themselves on my waist, pulling me closer. His eyes were smoothing me once again. They were starting to make me dizzy. I pushed him slightly against his bedroom door, looking around the halls, in case anyone saw us. There was no one to be seen.

"You teased me enough yesterday, besides, I also came to thank you for the boxes."

"Boxes?"

"The clothes, in my--"

"Oh that. Well you needed something a little more then a sports bra, and who says I made up my mind about tonight?"

I smirked. He was such a tease, that it was beginning to become so predicable. Smiling at him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, intertwining my fingers together. I was so new at this kind of thing. Never in my life had I actually tried to seduce another person before, and I didn't even know if I was doing it right. but my knees began to shake, making Alec laugh at my attempts. His teeth were so white, they brightened up his face, making him look as if he was a completely different person. I found myself liking that person, much more then the usual Alec, and was making a promise to myself to make him smile more. It was like his smile made my world whole.

"Come with me tonight." I whispered, against his mouth, running my hands in his brown hair. Alec's head fell back against the door, as he stared up at the ceiling, sighing. I was so determined to get what I wanted out of him that I would do just about anything, and I would get it. I had too. It was so strange being this way with him. So abnormal that I just didn't know what was coming over me. It was like now that I realized my feelings for him were more then lust, it was becoming more clearer that I belonged with him. I just needed him to realize the same.

"And what? Ruin the surprise, I wouldn't think of it."

I laughed, grabbing hold on the scarf and pulling him along with it. His eyes widen as he reluctantly walked along with me, wrapping his cool hands around my stomach, making every nerve in my body awake.

Having him this close made me feel like my dream was coming true. Like he was the boy, looking at me in awe, and I was his universe, my breathing patterns increase with the thought.

Alec then began to kiss my neck, effecting my heart rate as he always did. I was beginning to believe that it would happen a lot with him around if we were together. Possibly everyday, and I liked it, more then before.

The further we walked down the hall, the more I started to laugh at what we were doing. Placing my hand over his, then I wrapped my other hand around his neck, feeling his cool lips smirk against my skin. It looked like we were in a secret affair almost. What with him planting butterfly kisses and everything, as I looked around the hallway, my body started to tremble. It was like no one else was allowed to know what we were doing, and it kind of felt dangerous in a way that it thrilled me. Alec just couldn't get me closer to him, I couldn't understand why, but it seemed like it was never enough, but what shocked me more then my emotions, was his reaction to everything I was doing, because He was so different today then yesterday.

Yesterday it felt like he was pulling away, but now he was encouraging my foreplay. I didn't understand why, but it made me feel good. Almost like he was tired of fighting his emotions as well. It was giving me hope, that is until he jumped in front of me and began trying to take his scarf out of my hands. Loosing the battle, of course.

I wasn't going to give up this easily. I wanted more of this, and he knew that now. How can he not?

Maybe I was being too pushy, but I knew how Alec worked now. He was a guy. He wanted me. That was obvious and proven on more then one account, and I saw nothing wrong with me playing with the hand that I was dealt with. Not one bit. It was my birthday after all, and I deserved this.

"I can get the answer out of you Alec, one way or another, we both know this.." I said, closing my eyes, as I pulled, making him step into me nearly causing me to trip, giving him a warning look, I smiled innocently as a smirk came to his mouth, he didn't say anything for a while, lost for words it would seem, so I took his silence as a green light and leaned in, brushing my lips softly alongside his. He then turned his face, and I began to kiss his cheek, and was completely comfortable with the change. I was finding that no matter where my lips kissed him, it tasted wonderful.

"Now, Nez, We have to behave and talk about this before we get too lost--"

"No…we'll talk later.."

Alec didn't like my persistence, but he didn't completely stop me like I knew he could. Instead he just cupped my face, and laughed.

"Your going to get us both killed, we need to focus--"

Suddenly, before Alec could finish his sentence, I felt a presence behind me, and by the look on Alec's face, as he looked over my shoulder, I knew it wasn't just my imagination. Slowing turning around, I was looked over to see Felix, whose smile covered almost his entire face.

"Felix," Alec said, stepping away from me, as he fixed that ridiculous scarf of his. Felix nodded approvingly at both of us, as Alec kept his face forward, his expression very serious, I don't know why, being that it was Felix but, I felt really embarrassed about him witnessing my and Alec's encounter. I mean, he saw us kiss, sure but this seemed more private. It was something I wanted to keep for myself, he seemed to understand that without me having to say a word though. For that, I was grateful. I was also happy that it was someone I trusted rather then Alec's sister again. That wouldn't of been pretty.

"Sorry to bother you when your--Um..….Aro needs us for a execution."

_Execution? Oh my god---_

"Give me a moment please?" Alec asked, nodding to Felix as he pulled us few feet away. Alec then turned to face me, his hand holding on to my own, as he tried to get my attention, but I couldn't look at him, and understand anything thing that was happening. Everything around me seemed like a dream, they every Volturi member just played nice, when in reality they were all killers. They were going to end someone's life, and for what reason? Was it to feed? Did the one meant to die, break their trust? I couldn't wrap my head around it. I was going to say something to try to prevent this event from happening, but I realized that I had lost all my motor skills completely. My body was frozen, my face staring at Felix.

_Felix of all people!_

How could someone like Felix just end someone's life? Had I misjudged his whole being, and based it on how he treated me? I couldn't see it. I couldn't see my friend going and killing someone for no reason. There had to be a reason. As my eyes looked for a sign of guilty from Felix, I felt Alec's hands turning my face towards his, his voice sounding urgent.

"I have to go…"

I started shaking my head, my hands pulling Alec's body closer, desperately trying to hold him in place, but I didn't have the strength in my upper arms apparently, because without effort Alec freed himself from my gasp.

I knew I couldn't stop him. One person doesn't have the power to do such a thing, but I felt like I knew Alec to be better then this. He was so much more then Aro's handy man, the problem is, I don't think Alec himself didn't see it to be true.

"It's my Job, you weren't meant to--"

"You don't want to. I know you don't want to kill--"

"I have too. Now, I'm going with Felix and I'll see you at the party." he soothed, kissing my forehead lightly, as if to remind me the realities of our relationship. My heart sank in my chest as he gave my hand a tight squeeze. Alec then began to walk away slowly, but his eyes never left my face, like he was trying to remind me to breathe. For which I found to be helpful. As soon as Alec was gone, Felix was at my side, patting me on the back as he usually did, showing me a apologetic grin. I couldn't look at him in the face though. There was a line that was becoming visible with Felix. I realized. On one side, there was the vampire who was my friend, and on the other there was Aro's Felix. Ready to do the man's work. I liked the other Felix so much better then this one, because this one, was the one back in the alley. Ready to kill me if needed, the memory gave me shivers.

"Little Nez, you don't have to worry about--"

"I understand Felix." I said, giving him a smile, as I held in the fear.

Felix simply nodded, as he started to walk in the same direction that Alec had disappeared into, and when I thought that Felix was gone completely, I quickly turned to go back to my room, only to see that he hadn't. instead, Felix was in front of me, a smile to his face, with his arms crossed.

"Before I go, I wanted to let you know, he likes you, Alec I mean, and as a friend, I got you something that will knock him on his ass. No need for thanks. Just know it's probably in your room by now. I know, I know, I'm awesome." He joked, showing signs of the Felix I knew and loved. I rolled my eyes as he winked and began to walk away to end someone's life.

I suddenly felt cold and alone and exposed. I hugged myself, trying to get the image of Alec standing guard as Felix tore the vampire apart out of my head, if it was a vampire. It sounded mean, but I hoped it was instead of a human, because then they would at least be able to put up a fight, a little one but a fight nonetheless. I wondered if I would hear the screams, then I realized I didn't want to so I ran to my room as fast as I possibly could, down the hall.

Seeing my door, it felt like heaven; like it was the only safe place in Volturra. Nearly breaking it down, I stormed in my room and quickly shut the door tight.

bracing myself against it with my back, as if to keep it closed, giving a sigh of relief. I hadn't even realized I wasn't even alone until I heard a suave, calming voice from across the room speaking to me.

"And I said to myself, why would a young girl with such a pretty face be running into a room out of breath? Could it be she realized she was in the home of the Volturi?" Said the woman, my eyes shot open to see who's face went with the voice I didn't recognize, only to see the vampire who was baiting the humans from the other day.

She looked to be about in her mid twenties, but looks can be very deceiving. She had dark brown hair that went past her shoulders, pretty narrow red eyes, and a body of a supermodel. Curves in all the right places, she started to glide towards me, as if she was on the runway, I stayed perfectly still, giving her a puzzled look.

Her dress was a rich emerald green color, that had a low V neck, and a slit that went almost to her thigh. She was beautiful, almost as beautiful as my aunt Rose, but Rose wasn't nearly as tall.

"I already knew where I was, however I think you might be lost." I said, backing into the door, trying not to show how scared I truly was. The woman then started laughing, showing all her pretty little whites, making me even more scared, because usually when a vampire laughed, it showed off their choice of weapons, which was never a good sign.

"Such a funny little Cullen, aren't you?" She said, trying to contain herself from her own joke, that I was not aware of. " I'm Heidi, now I know what your thinking, Heidi as in the little girl with the curls in her hair, with the mean old grandpa, right?"

I shook my head quickly, because to be perfectly honest, I had no idea what she was talking about.

_Note to self: Look up this insane story about a girl named Heidi, who apparently has curly hair. Obviously it's important._

After a moment of hesitation from both of us, I began to wonder why Heidi had decided to come into my room in the first place, simply to see my answers be given.

"Oh well then no worries child, I'm only here as a favor to Felix. No biting involved today." she joked, as she picked up what looked like a garment bag, handing me the card that was attached.

Cautiously stepping closer, I reached over to grab hold of the note, only to have Heidi playfully snatch it away from me. I hid a smile and I quickly dodged for it again. This time succeeding.

Opening to note eagerly, I saw that it was from Felix. I didn't know how he had the time to manage this, I had no doubt it was without good intention on his part. The note read as followed:

_Little Nez,_

_For you, I picked this dress out. (if you want to call it a dress.) Wear it. May tonight you be brave and spill the beans, eh? I'm also sending Heidi, on the fact that she's a chick that can actually dress herself. No worries, she's not gonna kill you._

_Your Friend and front man,_

_Felix_

Unbelievable.

I couldn't believe that Felix would go though all of this just to try and get me to talk to Alec about something that's apparently not going to change anything. Though I wanted to tell Alec how I felt, I doubt it would matter, given this mornings display of attention. He was just about to give in to everything, I felt that much, when suddenly he backed away again. I was getting really tired of it. He's like leaving me with all this hope, only to be selfish and kill any chance I have with him. I didn't understand. It was like he was hiding something from me, and he doesn't think I'd understand. But I would. Nothing can surprise me anymore with the Volturi. Nothing.

Looking back at the words that Felix had written I quickly crumbled the piece of paper, and threw it in my dresser before Heidi could see.

Of all people to help me get ready for tonight, he sends the one person who lures innocent people to die, how nice of him. Still, he was right about one thing, Heidi could dress, and she looked happy to help me. Even if I wasn't too happy myself.

Picking up the garment bag, Heidi unzipped it and pulled out the most revealing, yet beautiful dress I had ever laid eyes on.

_What the hell, Felix?_

The dress was barely a dress at all! What with it not having a back practically, nor basic sides for that matter. The top itself looked like a top of a bathing suit that was attached to rest of the dress, which flowed all the way to the ground as a A-line gown. The top part of it was like a halter top, seeming like it would show a little cleavage.

I just stood there staring at it, with my mouth hung open as wide as it could go.

The color was pretty, it was true; a brilliant shade of purple, and with the material that the dress was made of, it looked like it could shine, the straps would curve to my shoulder blades.

What did Felix have in mind? That Alec would jump me if he saw me in this? Because this dress didn't leave much to the mind's eye, even the neck line was low. It was as if the goal of this dress designer was to show as much skin as possible.

I just couldn't imagine myself in it. I was some what modest most of the time about my body, and I liked myself covered, especially around Alec. That time in the phone booth, doesn't count of course. This is so ridiculous, and when I was just about to put my foot down I heard Heidi clear her throat to break my train of thoughts.

"Men, they always think that a girl in a skimpy dress would make a party a party. Still it would be flattering on you." Heidi said, taking my hand and pulling me in the middle of my room so she could observe me. I stayed completely still, just eyeing the dress that was picked out for me as Heidi walked circles around me.

"Flattering? Maybe on you." I said, as I felt Heidi tilt up my chin with her cold finger, my heart rate began to increase as always as I blushed.

"Silly girl, you will be beautiful, even more so then what you are. Cleary they gave me much to work with here, and I'm thrilled. What with your father's looks, and your mother's human eyes. You must have many boyfriends at home."

"Of course, tons." I said, trying to sound reassuring, though I knew she could see right past my lies. I always was a terrible liar, I guess I'd have to thank my mother for that, seeing a smile come to Heidi's face.

"You're single, aren't you?"

"Pretty much. Yeah."

We both laughed, as she circled me once again, this time checking my posture. Given the position this woman had in the Volturi's coven, it was shocking to me that I was finding myself actually enjoying her company. I thought I would hate her, but the more time she spend with me, the more time I couldn't find it within self to do so. She was after all the first female vampire that I actually had a conversation since arriving, and so far, she was beyond kind to me, with a sense of humor, and that is something the Volturi desperately needed.

After pulling me to the bathroom and shoving me into the chair in front of the vanity table, playing with my hair for a moment, I realized I had no clue as to what she had in mind for me. That brought up some fear in itself. Good fear, because a part of me trusted her completely, and another part of me hated not knowing.

"So, Alec seems fond of you."

My eyes widened at the sound of Alec's name coming from Heidi's mouth. It sounded so friendly, and certain. It made me wonder how much did this woman actually see around here anyway? I mean, with her leaving and coming back all the time, it confused me on why she sounded so sure of Alec's fondness. When in my mind, I thought Alec was becoming bipolar and emotionally retarded because of me.

"Alec told you that?" I asked, sounding skeptic.

"No, I can tell. Last night he just kept going on and on about some game called Marco Polo. Whatever that meant. He was laughing, I haven't heard laughter from him since he was a child, when I first saw him, and I can only guess it's because of you."

"You saw him as a human?"

She nodded.

"Once or twice, and believe me, he should count his blessings on becoming a vampire so young. That boy had the biggest smile I'd ever witnessed, and chubby cheeks to match, and those eyes? Tsk, tsk." Heidi said, turning to face me, as she searched the bathroom for the make-up that she obviously had bought for the occasion. I had never really wore makeup, so I was scared to see how the results would look.

I was also a bit jealous at the fact that Heidi had been able to see Alec when he was a human. I tried to imagine him in my mind as a young boy, with clear blue eyes and from what Heidi said, chubby cheeks.

Alec with chubby cheeks, I could've laughed if I wasn't in a trance of my figment of my imagination. Most of all though, I wanted to see him laugh, like Heidi said he had. He barley laughed now, so trying to picture him laughing then made my heart ache.

I wonder if Jane laughed as well. Hmph, I doubt it.

"Blue eyes, I know…" I finished for her, still sulking on the fact that I would never be able to see them for myself.

Heidi stopped roaming for whatever it was she was looking for and looked at me with suspicion in those eyes of hers. Then a small smile curved that looked more like a smirk.

I had given too much away -yet again- about my feelings for him. I couldn't keep something to myself to save my life.

"Looks like Alec's not the only one whose smitten."

Now I was going to go into a state of shock and make a good but failed attempts to lie through my teeth, I was like clockwork.

"Its- its not what your thinking." I never ceased to surprise myself. I was a terrible liar.

Heidi of course didn't buy it anymore than I had. She nodded skeptically, grabbed some makeup and hair products, and started dabbing whatever she could on my face.

"Sure its not. Because the blushing and awkward, tensed manner of yours isn't a dead giveaway at all." She said sarcastically with a giggle.

I was tempted to just give in and tell her the truth, but I'd rather keep it to myself and deny her the satisfaction, at least as long as I could. Heidi seemed like the kind of person who was good at getting the truth out of somebody. I admired that, but not enough to give in.

I continued to stay silent as she fixed my makeup, I was curious to see how I looked, but she had purposely turned the chair so I couldn't look in the mirror.

Clever.

"So you must have been here a long time if you had seen Alec when he was human…" I said, trying to make small talk. I wasn't good at silence, I also wasn't good at sitting for a long period of time, so this was a way to distract me until we were through, which I was hoping was soon.

"Yeah, that's an understatement. I cant imagine my life out of the Volturi, its home, I guess. I also can't imagine life without him." She sighed and began to work on my hair, brushing through the knots.

"Whose 'him'"? I asked.

"Hmm? Oh- Demitri."

I coughed uncontrollably.

Heidi was apparently full of suprises. Demitri? I mean, I don't discriminate or anything, but he seems so uptight. All work and no play, boring! I tried picturing him with her, as a lover. I couldn't, in fact, the thought made me nauseous. Not to say he wasn't good-looking, they were all very good looking. But Demitri set off a different vibe from the rest, he screamed dangerous and you knew you didn't want to get on his bad side. He was so different from Heidi, what did she see in him?

"Demitri?" I choked out.

She laughed, as if she knew full and well what I was thinking.

Heidi always knew.

"I know, but he isn't _always _such a stiff. In fact, he can be quite charming, once he pulls out that stick he has shoved up his ass. Plus, he amuses me." She said fondly, "I think we should pull your hair up, show off the back." She stated out of random, starting to lift my hair off my neck.

"I didn't know guards could have mates."

"We're not really what you could call mates, darling. Its more of…well we just have fun from time to time." She confessed, not sounding embarrassed at all. I shuddered at the thought. "But we can though, Chelsea is with Afton, and has been for several generations. So its not entirely impossible."

This stirred up a new question. I had no idea that Volturi could have mates, maybe my head was thinking that they lived like the ice age or something but how did this work?

Were their emotional feelings in their relationships or was it like they were just paired up? Even then, I still for the life of me couldn't contain my curiosity about a certain guard member, it was a dumb question, I'd admit, especially since he showed no signs of having one, but one must know who exactly it is their kissing lately.

"Does- does Alec have a mate?"

"Well if he did, I suspect she'd be pulling your hair out with vengeance." She said with humor in her voice, starting to put rollers in my hair. "But no, he doesn't. Flings? Yes. Mates? Eh not so much." She declared, and I let out a sigh of relief, in my head at least. Didn't want to give too much away.

It seemed like it was going to take forever for her to get me ready, there was a curling iron and so many hairpins, and all the while I had no idea what she was doing to me. Though, just when I thought it was never going to end, she turned to face me to look at me.

She smiled with accomplishment gleaming in her eyes, like I was her work of art, her masterpiece.

"Perfect…your stunning. Not that you weren't before, its just-" She paused, looking like she was thinking of the right words. "-well, you'll see soon enough." She winked, and told me to go put my dress on before looking at myself in the mirror, much to my dismay. She was going to keep me in suspense as long as she possibly could, I gathered. But I'd go along.

"I'll wait in the hallway, meet me out there after so I can see!" She said excitedly, smirking as she stepped out of the room.

I sighed and tried to figure out how I was going to get that thing on. It was beautiful, that was a given, but it seemed too extravagant for me, like I wouldn't be able to do it justice.

Though it didn't look like I had much of a choice. I stepped into the dress, feeling the satiny fabric gliding up my skin as I pulled it. I managed to get it on, and then quickly went to the huge mirror in my bathroom to see what I looked like.

My eyes widened as I saw my refection.

I was a woman, or at least _she _was. My hair was pulled up, and little ringlets were popping out here and there. My face, well it wasn't doused in makeup like I thought it would be, I figured Heidi had put a lot on but she hadn't. Just enough to where it brought out my eyes, and my lips.

The dress, I had worried about how it would look on me, but much to my surprise I loved it. It fitted me perfectly, hugging me in the right places. I had to give props to Felix for this, he was good. Evil, but a genius nonetheless.

I could tell what Heidi meant when she said I would see for myself. I looked like me, but different. Older. For once in my life I thought I looked different, like I was a completely different person now. I always knew I was different from other people, but now, with me in the dress and everything, I supposed I felt like some sort of Cinderella. Only Cinderella got her prince in the end, I didn't have much hope of me getting mine.

I suppose now was a better time then never, I had no choice but to go to this party, that I didn't even want in the first place, and be the center of attention. This was all bad enough, but on top of that I was wearing this dress which revealed all too much.

I started to blush even at the thought of Alec seeing me in this.

I gave out a groan, looked in the mirror one more time, and left my room.

Heidi was waiting, just like she had said she would. She glowed with accomplishment.

"Perfection. You will take away his breath when he sees you." She said with a knowing smirk to her face.

"He?" I asked, playing dumb.

"Rennie, do not mistake me for a fool. You may not want to admit to anything…but I know something is there. Believe me, I know." She grinned evilly, and told me she had to get herself ready as well, and with that she left me.

I figured it wouldn't take all that long for her to get ready, because she looked like she was already headed to a ball.

I decided that I liked Heidi, and even though I wouldn't say it, I really did need some girl on girl time. I knew Jane wasn't going to oblige in any sense. It also looked like I had yet another new nickname. Nessie, Nez, and now Rennie. Out of the three, I'll be honest and say Nez was my absolute favorite.

I started heading to the throne room, because that was the only place I figured they would hold a party in. It was big and spacious so it would work.

I was at the entrance to the throne room, but before I went in I wanted to find Alec. I didn't know if he was suppose to escort me in or if he had decided he didn't want to me my date at all. He never said.

I looked around me, I figured he had to be near. He always showed up when I least expected him to, or when I didn't want him to show at all. But since I was actually wanting him to, he probably would take his sweet time about it.

I finally gave up at started to walk through the door, but then just like that he was there, blocking my way in.

He simply smiled/smirked at me, as he always did. And like always, I tried to hide a blush unsuccessfully.

"I didn't think you were going to show." I said, smiling softly.

"I told you I'd see you here. You didn't believe me?" He asked, raising his eyebrows, amused.

Well he didn't exactly give me a lot of reason to be assured. He just kept teasing me. Although I did remember him saying he would see me here and kiss my forehead, the sweet kiss.

"Not really." I replied, being brutally honest.

He chuckled softly, then seemed to notice my dress for the first time, the moment I dreaded.

He looked from my face down, drinking it all in slowly. My heart did flip-flops as he did so. Even though I felt pretty in the dress, didn't mean I wasn't insecure around him.

When he was done studying the front, he twirled his index finger in a circular motion, instructing me to turn around so see could see the back.

The back, the worst part because all you saw was _back. _

I sighed, and stepped around so he could see, then after a moment I turned back to see his reaction. He was giving me a disapproving look, like he thought it was my fault.

"You're trying to drive me mad, aren't you?" He joked, shaking his head.

"It was Felix, I had nothing to do with it."

"I'll have to thank him later when I get the chance."

"You just said I was trying to drive you mad!"

"Well I didn't say I didn't like it. You are…_exquisite_." He said, clearly not joking now. Which made my whole face heat up, of course. That had to be one of the best compliments anyone had ever gave me, only because it came from _him. _Coming from anyone else, it wouldn't mean the same.

"Well, I think Aro is wanting to get this started, you ready?" He asked.

"If I said yes I'd be lying, if I say no it wont make any difference so…lets get this over with." I sighed.

He gave me a smile of encouragement, and opened the door for me. I took a deep breath and stepped in.

The throne room was pretty much the same, only there were a lot of people. Or Volturi guard members, I should say. The room itself was basically lit only by candles, so it was darker than it usually was. They were also dressed the same for the most part, the guys always wore black suits, and the woman, well they kind of had their own sense of style. I was beginning to think that I wore the wrong kind of dress for this party.

Also there was music playing, classical of course. Not that I minded, I loved classical music; something I inherited from Dad.

Dad. My family. This is my last birthday where I actually grow. It made me depressed to think of them all at home on my birthday without me. I should be there, with them. The best I could do is to give them a call later, even that sounded pathetic. I wouldn't doubt by the time I got back home they hated me.

My attention was brought back to the party when Aro got up out of his throne. Caius and Marcus remained in their own, looking extremely unhappy and bored, Caius especially.

The moment Aro spoke, the whole room quieted down.

"I have arranged this little gathering in honor of Renesmee Cullen's last birthday in which she'll stop aging as a human would, although she never really did. I remember her, as a young child and thinking that she'll grow to be an amazing being, what with her unique ability and all. And here she stands with us tonight, a lovely young woman in the prime of her existence. It is a great pleasure to have her here, so to show it we'll celebrate." Aro spoke with warmth in his voice and in his eyes, I couldn't help but feel he was being honest.

He smiled at me, and nodded to the orchestra, to begin playing some unfamiliar tune.

_They actually have a orchestra!? _

They began to play a cheerful yet soft melody, that's when Alec took my hand softly and lead me to the center of the room, obviously to dance.

It was very embarrassing, with Felix grinning broadly at me and giving a thumbs up, and with Jane giving me the death glares of all death glares, Heidi smiling a small, knowing smile, and the rest of the guards watching.

I took a deep breath as Alec placed his hand on my low back, his cold hand making direct contact with my bare skin that usually wasn't touched, my heart skipped a beat. He then took my hand; I reached my other hand to his shoulder, and started to remember the last time we danced; what a horrible experience that was.

"Breath, Nez. It'll be over soon enough." Alec whispered, I nodded and we began to dance, the sound of his nickname for me made me feel secure.

It was a nice feeling, dancing with him without fighting and him insulting me, it gave me a whole new perspective on the subject. Our bodies seemed to work together well, which didn't really shock me all that much. I would be a moron if I said we didn't have some kind of connection in several ways, a connection I didn't understand.

We never unlocked our eyes away from each other. In my mind, I was pretending it was just the two of us, dancing alone. No red eyes watching our every move. It was a good method, until other people starting joining in on the dancing; it relieved me a lot to know we weren't the only ones.

I then figured I should try to make small talk.

"So um, who's Heidi?" I asked, knowing I sounded like an idiot the second the words left my lips.

Alec looked confused.

"Heidi, the woman who bait's the humans?"

"No, I mean Heidi, the girl who has curls and has a mean grandfather, that…that Heidi." I explained, while Alec stared at me like I should be admitted into a hospital. Then after a few seconds he rolled his eyes in realization.

"She's still going on about that? Honestly, it was only a joke someone had said to her about four decades ago," He smirked, "_Heidi _is this ridicules story, portrayed by Shirley Temple in one of the many versions of the film." He made it sound stupid, it probably was. I don't think I could sit through a movie titled Heidi, especially if it has Shirley Temple in it.

"I can't stand Shirley Temple." I muttered, speaking my thoughts out loud, as I looked down at my feet, I didn't even realize that Alec had heard me until I looked up and saw a smirk on his beautiful face.

"_Me anche…"_ he replied, it sounded Italian. He spoke it as if I would understand, it probably meant something along the lines of 'I agree'. Or something like that. I noticed that Alec spoke Italian a lot when he doesn't pay attention, I also realized, that I loved it. The way the words flowed through his mouth. It sent chills, and made me want to kiss him, but then I remembered we were far from being alone, so I didn't. instead, I just went on babbling about Shirley Temple for some reason.

"Did you know her hair wasn't even naturally curly? They had to curl her hair, fifty-six ringlets-"

"Nez, are we really going to discuss a 1930's child star all evening?" He asked jokingly, spinning me and then pulling me back to him closely.

Upon him slamming my body to his, I smelled that amazing scent again. Him. I inhaled, trying to be discrete, but he seemed to always catch me in the act. I could tell because he was smiling a coy smile.

"So, be honest, how are you enjoying yourself?" Now he seemed genuinely curious, his scarlet eyes looking serious. His eyes, they were so hypnotizing,. I was once again trying to imagine them a light, clear blue. It must have been a beautiful color, not that the red didn't suit him, it did. I always figured vampires with red eyes would be creepy, and it was on most of them. Alec's eyes didn't bother me though, they captured me, entranced me, so much I couldn't speak in that moment.

_Get a hold of yourself, Nez._

"I'm fine, really." I half smiled, trying to assure him. He wasn't, however, convinced as such.

He leaned over and put his mouth by my ear, my eyes widened, surprised he would be doing that in front of all of the people, though I didn't mind at all. He was closer, and my body seemed to enjoy it.

"Don't lie to me, Nez. Your terrible at it. I'll be right back." He said in a low voice, and then left. Just like that, he left. He looked over his shoulder as he walked, smiling. He loved to keep me in the dark, didn't he? It was like his own little game.

I then started to follow him, I wasn't going to stand in the middle of the dance floor alone. But Aro stopped me in my path, still grinning that gracious grin. It was kind of scary in a way.

"Now its time for your gift." He stated.

_A gift?_

"Aro, you really didn't have to do that." I tried to reason, shaking me head.

"Please, you really didn't think we wouldn't give you anything?" He then beckoned someone from behind me to come forward. I didn't have time to look behind me before I saw hands reach out in front of me to put on a necklace.

I knew it was Alec, just because I could recognize the scent and the chills that waved through my body at his touch, his cold breath hitting the back of my neck. I didn't even care what the necklace looked like at that moment, I just wanted to savor him.

Once he clipped the necklace on, he let his fingers trail along the long remaining chain that hung down my neck and back. I tried my best not to look like I was extremely nervous and excited, not in front of Aro and everyone else at least.

I turned around to thank him, but he was already gone again, in a flash.

"Where did he go?"

"Oh, he's probably just checking on something." Aro replied, sounding oddly pleased.

"Is he coming back?"

"Of course. Now- how do you like it?" He pressed for answers, clearing awaiting my opinion.

I for the first time looked down at the necklace.

It was a pearl, a blue pearl connected to little white gold strands, that spiraled around it. It was simple, yet very beautiful, it was me, oddly enough, or at least me wearing this dress at least.

"Thank you." I said, really meaning it.

"You're welcome, young one. I myself was aiming for something more extravagant, but Alec insisted on something casual, in fact he picked it out himself." He added, sounding pleased that I liked the present.

I looked up to Aro.

"Alec picked it out?"

He nodded pleasantly, told me something about enjoying the rest of my evening and started to talk to someone else.

I was still dumbfounded by the fact Alec had picked this out. It was perfect, it was something I would see while I was shopping and insist on buying. How did he know? Once again, I was stuck in his mysterious ways. I was yet again really confused and bewildered, because he once again seemed to see me. He knew me. How I didn't know, because we really hadn't spent all that much time together, but he knew me. He knew what I liked, sad thing is, he didn't know that I liked him, and if he did, he wasn't showing signs of encouragement. The thought hurt.

My train of thought was disturbed though, thankfully. When Felix stepped up to me, giving me a light punch in the arm.

"I insist upon having a dance."

I started to laugh at Felix's mocking tone, sounding like a old English butler as he bowed. taking my hand in his, Felix spun me in large twirls that seemed like they took up the entire room. He seemed to make the evening quite bearable. now that Alec had disappeared into the night.

After a few moments of spinning, Felix pulled me close, and smiled like a five year old.

"Madam, You are quite the dancer, how is thee operation; prince charming going? I'm surprised he hasn't jumped you yet."

I smacked him in the arm as he chuckled, making me blush. I couldn't believe Felix would be so open about my and Alec's encounters, given that his masters were right there. What makes it worst is that I didn't have a clue as to where Alec could be, with my luck he was within hearing range, and if he heard all of this it would make things more complicated, cause I still wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to Alec about my emotions, since his own emotions seem to be everywhere.

"Felix I'm not--"

"The hell you're not. You better not be telling me that I wasted my time picking out that dress man, I mean, you have to tell him something! If anything get a kiss out of the deal."

I shook my head, trying to figure out what to do. A part of me agreed with my friend, but the side with brains was telling me to go with my instinct and bail. Alec was not ready for my attachment. He was stuck, I knew that much. He was stuck knowing how he felt about me and his family. I knew this because if he wasn't stuck he would of stayed with me after we kissed, he wouldn't of gone after Jane, so I shouldn't say anything. Not until he's sure where this thing between us would lead.

As Felix and I danced I looked over his broad shoulder to see Alec's slender frame, resting against the double wide doors. It was like he was calling me over with his eyes, I looked back to Felix, without a word he nodded and winked.

He gave me one more spin then pushed me in the direction Alec was in.

"Tell him." Felix muttered as I started to slowly walk towards him, with each step I got more nervous, a gross feeling growing in my stomach, and a lump rising in my throat. I was going to tell him how I felt, how every time he's around me my heart flutters and my skin flushes, and when he kisses me, I feel like there's a volcano somewhere rupturing, and fireworks were going off. How was I suppose to tell him that? Am I suppose to go up to him and just blurt it all out? How was he going to react? Would he feel the same? I knew I was going to tell him when I knew he was ready to hear it, but Felix wouldn't let me live to see tomorrow if I didn't.

And the closer I got to him, the more I wanted to.

As we got to the lobby, he shut the doors to the throne room, leaving us alone in the dark room. I could see a shadow of his face, his eyes looking as though they could glow.

"Something tells me you have to inform me on something." He started, his voice very calm and still, the pressure on my face was building. There was no turning back now. I know now that he heard every word Felix had said to me, I had a feeling Alec would have. As I said, it was just my luck.

So I felt no need to discuss them with him.

"Well, you clearly already see the outline of where this was going so…I'm gonna' go bury myself in the covers." I said, starting to pull away, when suddenly he gripped onto my wrist, pulling me back.

He pushed me gently into a corner, his hands cupping my face, lips inches from mine, the space around us closing in.

It felt like he was going to kiss me, he was close enough to do it. But he instead leaned in next to my ear, his cheek brushing against mine as his fingers trailed down my back.

"Tell me anyway." He demanded, not leaving me any other option.

I gulped, trying to remember to breath.

"I don't know how to put it into words that'll make sense." My voice was shaky and unfamiliar. I ran my hands up over his arms, grabbing on for support. "I…I…you're not going to make this easy are you?"

"Never do."

I coughed a nervous laugh, and exhaled deeply.

"From the moment I arrived here, I've felt things for you that I probably shouldn't. I…can't explain it, but its always there. Like now, the way you're holding me, it feels like nothing can go wrong." I breathed out, relieved to have it off my chest. I was now, scared crap-less of what was going to happen now.

Alec sighed, pondering what to say.

"But things can go wrong in an instant, Renesmee. Its only one touch away from becoming a disaster, that's what I've been trying to tell-"

"Are you telling me that I'm in this alone? That you don't care for me?" I demanded, he turned his face away from mine, but I grabbed his face with my hand and forced him to face his fear. It was time he finally did so. If I had the balls to do it, then so could he. Considering I didn't even have balls, so that's saying something.

"Look at me, Alec. Don't tell me that you've kissed me for absolute no reason, that you haven't just been teasing me. Give me something to go off of, tell me that I have hope, that this isn't just some stupid fairytale of a dream we're living in. I don't need your emotional damaged excuses this time, because one minute your kissing me and looking at me the way you do, and the next your pulling away. I'm tired of it." My voice was stern, even a bit harsh. But I had the right, and he needed a good slap of reality.

Alec looked at me through his long lashes, taking everything I had to say to him without interrupting, like he knew what I was going to say before I said it. He was a statue, cold and unmoving. I thought my speech would have some kind of effect but I guess was wrong. It was true, I was so tired and sick of it.

"Ugh…forget I said anything." I snapped, disgusted. I picked up the train of my gown and stomped away, about to head back to my room.

"You make me feel human." I heard him say suddenly in a soft, vulnerable voice.

I stopped in my tracks, and slowly turned around. He was still facing the wall where I was before.

"What?" I asked, not sure I heard him correctly.

He turned around to face me, his eyes looked dark and filled with sorrow.

"Everyday since you've been here, I've had to constantly remind myself of my purpose here, and who I am. But every time I'm around you, since that day I first found you in the alley, all rational thought and reason have been thrown out the window, all because of you. You with your shopping trips, and your outrageous clothes, your piano playing, everything that makes you, you. You make my heart feel as though its beating rapidly in my chest, and apart of me doesn't want it to stop. A big part, and the other part knows better. Because those emotions can only end bad for us." He said, stepping towards me slowly as he did. He rested his forehead against mine, sighing again.

I'd never felt so taken back, I didn't think I could cause someone to feel like that. I know how I felt for him, but I didn't know he felt _that _strong, it was overwhelming. I was actually on the verge of tears. In all my life a boy had never said things like that to me, not even Jake, especially not Jake. I then began to wonder if this was what it felt like for my Mom, when she was human, with my Dad. She wasn't kidding about the way it made you feel. The way Alec spoke made it sound as if he was in love with me, and that made every nerve in my body awake. My chest yearned for him, I didn't know what to say.

"I…I didn't realize." I muttered.

_Ingenious, Renesmee. Really._

"If uh, you could say something, it would really help this awkward silence-- wait, did you say this could only end badly for us?"

"I'm so sorry, Nez." He whispered.

"What? Why are you sorry?"

"I'm going to have to ask something of you, something your not going to like-"

"No…don't ask, whatever it is, the answer is no. Don't ruin this…" I was shaking my head, in denial. I cupped his face, to try to comfort him, but he grabbed my hands effortlessly and pulled them away.

"Forgetabout everything that's happened, its for the best-"

"For the best? You think denying the obvious is the way to go? I can't hold back my feelings the way you do, I can't stuff them away somewhere and forget! If this is about my dream, it wasn't real, it doesn't matter!" I cried, tears pouring down my cheeks now. It was like someone had ripped out my heart from my chest and stomped on it joyously. Breathing was nonexistent, and I was thankful I couldn't. I felt irrelevant, like he cared, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough to fight for. I was suddenly stuck in some dark place I didn't think I was going to be able to escape. He wanted me to forget, pretend it didn't happen, it was impossible. I wouldn't be able to just magically erase everything in my mind, and my body. Especially after hearing those beautiful words he just spoke to me.

My chest felt like it was being compressed, suffocated.

No one cared, he obviously didn't.

"Nez-"

"You just want me to go on everyday and act like none of this happened? Only it did? Is that what your asking me?"

"I know it will be hard, but you have to try.." He whispered, lifting up my chin so I had to look at him.

"So my feelings don't matter, right? It doesn't matter that its going to hurt me, all that matters is pleasing Aro, correct? I'm glad I know where your priorities lie with, Alec-"

"I want to be with you, I do! But its dangerous, you know this. Deep inside I know you know it to be true. This can't lead to anything. You'll go home, and I'll stay here, and eventually I'll be a faded memory, like the rest of them."

I shook my head to deny his reasoning, because I don't want to think about the future like that. I didn't want to go home with him as just a memory. I wanted him. I wanted to be with him and to see where this would lead. I knew it would take work. I'm not stupid, but I was willing to put the effort here, why couldn't he? Why did he have to do this to me? Why did I have to feel anything at all for him? Did he do this everyday? Is this why he has been so confused about his feelings for me? Because he was scared for my life?

The more I thought about it, the more I hated them. I hated all of them, Aro, Marcus, Caius, and most of all Jane. They had a hold on him, and for what? Because of his power? This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I felt for him because of who he was, and they got him, because of something that doesn't matter at all. Where is the justice in that?

My cries were now sobs, I didn't have the strength to stop them, and I didn't care. I wanted him to see what he was doing to me.

As Alec tried to calm me, all I could do was try to push him away, though it was pointless.

"I'm trying to help you Nez, don't you realize that if anything were to happen to you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself?!"

I closed my eyes at his words and took a step back as far as I could.

"Maybe I should just leave, go back home, make everything easier for you--"

"Don't. don't say that, okay? I don't want you to leave!"

"Then what Alec?! Huh? Stay here and be tortured, is that how you've been living here--"

"Yes! Because everyday, I see you, I know I can't have you, and if I can do it, so can you!"

"Damn you!" I snapped, as I started hitting his chest with my fists as hard as I could. My heart; cracking into a million pieces, and he just stood there, the punches not effecting him what so ever.

I thought he would say something about this being the right thing. How everything was for my own good, but he just stood there, allowing me to pour out my frustration and anger out on him. Like he understood everything I was feeling, and somehow was letting out his emotions as well.

After a few more punches, Alec gripped on to me, holding me as tight as he could, and all I wanted was to be left alone.

"No, don't do this Alec, just leave."

He started to shake his head as I gave him one last shove.

"GO! Let me start pretending, while the night is still young Alec! Leave me. Go to your precious corner by the only people you will ever care about!"

Alec stood there for a second, his eyes looking tired and hollowed. Probably wondering what to do next, only if he knew what's best for him and if he cared so much about me like he says, then he should leave.

Giving me a nod, Alec quickly turned and started walking the opposite direction. The more steps he took the colder and alone I left. I couldn't help but still want him. I was beginning to believe that it was something that wasn't going away, and I had nothing left of him. Not even a kiss.

"Alec!"

He stopped at the sound of his name, and turned slowly, his face remaining the same, as I ran towards him, throwing my arms around his neck and gave him one last kiss.

The kiss itself started up gentle, but increased rapidly. His lips tugged urgently as he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me to him. I wanted to make this last. I wanted it to be something that I'd never forget, because for now on, I was going to do what he wants. Every time he will come near me, I will turn the other cheek, and think about this moment, and I wanted it to be worth thinking about.

As our bodies pulled away from each other, I couldn't help but hold on to him. It was like a habit that I was going to have to learn to break.

"A kiss to end all kisses." I whispered, as Alec brushed his lips against my forehead. My heart sinking into the pit of my stomach as I stared into those eyes of his.

"Happy Birthday, Renesmee."

I blinked and with a gust of wind, he was gone, leaving me in the darkness that was soon going to surround me.

I thought this was going to be the year I was never going to forget. Only to have the shadows as friends.

I tried not to think about anything as I found myself walking to the familiar phone booth. The memories blurring into my mind. Looking into the stars, I tried to remember that the only reason why I was here was to find myself. That what happened with Alec was no big deal, only to have myself disappointed.

Picking up the phone, I dialed the number to my house, and fell to the ground unable to control anything anymore.

"Mama…"

* * *

**Writer's Note: FINALLY! we have this beast done! OMG this chapter was so draining! lol. but worth it we think. yes, we know it's a little sadish...and longish, but hey. it's a chapter right? ****Thank you everyone whose Reviewed this story. and everyone who faves it, you guys are the reason we love writing. Thank you so much. once again, check out the goodies on our profile, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check out our blog. we're thinking of posting some sneak peeks of future chapters, and some other stuff that allows you to know a little bit about us. [not that you care---WE DON'T BLAME YOU ;) ]**

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**~IITM**

**PS- WE HOPE EVERYONE HAD A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. OR WHATEVER YOU CELERBRATE. ;D MAWH! ...****[damn this note is getting long O_o]**


	12. Chapter 12: In the Lion's Den

**Chapter 12: In the Lion's Den**

**Alec's POV **

Out of all the things I've done in my long existence, that had to be one of the most difficult of all. She made it very difficult, her tears were drowning me in my own sorrow and pain. It almost felt like I was being transformed all over again, I felt it very clearly, but there was no way to stop it, no way to ease what was happening. I didn't want to admit this was all for the best, but it was. I've seen what happens when two people that try to get away from the Volturi, witnessed it with my own eyes. It doesn't have a happy ending, like most things. Though a part of me was really thrilled how open she was about her feelings towards me, now I knew what was going through her head. To hear her say those words made me feel something I didn't know possible, after all, most of the Volturi believed we were unlovable. Then again, what Nez felt for me, I wasn't sure if it was love. I hoped it wasn't, because it would only hurt her more, that wasn't my goal. She was going to go home sooner or later to Edward and Bella, and I'm going to remain here, as I should. Another reason why I don't want her feelings for me to develop any more is that it would come down to her having to choose between me and her family. I was the wrong choice, even though I would want her to stay, she deserved better than me. I'm not good for her, never will be. That's why I had to do what I did, to stop it before it grows any further.

Having her kiss me one last time was especially excruciating, thinking that it was never going to happen again. Her lips now felt familiar against my own, it was going to be a challenge to stop cold turkey, it was going to be a challenge in general trying to behave. I can't count the times since she's been here that I have thought I was going to gain control, stop acting reckless and remain under control. I failed each time, how was this time going to be any different? I had to be determined, instead of thinking of my own desires, I should be thinking about her welfare and safety. When it was all boiled down, the bottom fact is that I am selfish; I want her for myself. It isn't possible, so I have to be civilized and stop hurting both of us, before someone else does.

A disturbing image flashed through my mind; her lifeless body lying cold under Aro's disapproving eyes, with me in the front row seat.

I wasn't going to sit here alone in my room and torture myself with these thoughts.

Stepping out of my room and into the hall, I made my way towards the lobby but was stopped in my tracks when I saw the person I had hurt.

Luckily, I hid behind the corner before Nez could catch a glimpse of me. However, I wasn't so sure about Felix. They were both just standing there, talking, their voices sounding as if they were right next to me. I looked over my shoulder and peeked in a glance at her one more time before listening in on their conversation.

It may have been rude to eavesdrop, or cowardly to be hiding from her, but I had good reason. It would be awkward seeing her again so soon, I mean I knew it was going to happen eventually, but I was trying to drag it out as long as I could. Plus I wasn't ready myself to come to terms with the agreement, what if I made a mistake and ruined everything? Like I had done countless times before? As I thought about the sadness that burned within me, I heard Renesmee's voice, so weak and vulnerable as she confided in Felix, whom I still didn't know whether or not was apparent to my presence.

"So, how did it go last night? You tell him?"

"Oh- I don't…yeah, yeah I did." She admitted, sounding ashamed of herself, making my guilt even worse. Everything was getting worse by the second. Sometimes I wished I was never in the alley that night, when Nez showed up. If I hadn't been there, we wouldn't have had the connection we had, and Aro wouldn't have read my thoughts and arranged my mission. She wouldn't have had a guard at all, and I wouldn't have probably spoken but two words to her the whole time she was here. That would have been simple, unattached. But then again, I don't think I could take it back for the world. She meant too much.

"And? How did it go?" Felix pressed in a encouraging voice.

I once again peeked around the corner to see her reaction. For the first time I noticed what she was wearing, I figured it was something Mia had gotten for her. She was wearing a white spaghetti strap shirt that had a bow in the front, and black skinny jeans. How I know they're called skinny jeans, it's a mystery. I noticed she was wearing her necklace she had gotten the night before, she must have either forgotten to take it off, or she really liked it. She looked gorgeous, as per usual, but she looked tired. Her eyes were red, from crying I imagined.

More than ever, I despised myself.

Nez shook her head slowly, giving Felix his answer. It was a shameful gesture, as if she had let herself and Felix down. I wasn't worth all the pain and trouble, I really wasn't.

"No, he said that it would only end badly."

"That's bull! I mean, sure it would take a little effort-"

"Its impossible, Felix. I realize that now. I talked to my mom last night, told her I was probably going to be home soon. I can't stay here much longer, its only going to make things worse." The words she spoke were like a cold gust of wind that hit me. She was going to leave, it was all my fault. If she left, would I ever see her again? Probably not.

_This is how it has to be. _

"Aw, Little Nez…Alec will come around." Felix said, wasting his time. There was no use trying to make her think this would work out. I felt bad enough; I didn't need him giving her false hope, that was the last thing I needed.

I heard Nez sigh.

"Can we talk about something else? I really just want to forget about this and move on. It was a stupid idea, I feel like a fool for ever thinking I could…well it was pointless." She sounded so negative and defeated, like she had done something wrong. But she hadn't. If anyone had been the fool it would be me. It _is _me.

"Listen, why don't we go out and do something fun? I mean, its still you birthday. What do you wanna' do? We could go to a club." Felix suggested.

From behind the wall I grimaced and shook my head to myself.

Was Felix really that big a fool? Of course she would not go to a club. She had more sense than that! Clubs were for desperate, hormonal people who can't get a date any other way. She was more mature than that, she knew better.

"A club? That sounds kind of fun…"

Okay, maybe I was a bit too hasty thinking she was level headed.

I shouldn't have done it, but I did nonetheless. I popped out from my hiding spot and was right in front of her. She gasped and her eyes widened at my sudden appearance. Felix just smirked. He knew all along I was there, I figured he had.

"Are you insane!? A club?! There is no way I am letting you go-"

"Were you spying on us!?" She interrupted, sounding very angry for the first time. She had a right to be, this I knew, but what did she expect? Me to relish to the idea of her going to a place like that? Had she ever even been to a dance club? I doubted it.

I narrowed my eyes and looked down at her, she responded by crossing her arms across her chest; giving me a go screw yourself look.

"You are not going."

She then looked confused and turned to Felix.

"Felix, do you hear that? That…sound? It sorta' sounds like a stuck up, know it all, tight-ass prick who thinks he can tell someone whom he has absolutely no possession over what to do. Huh, guess its just me." She said as if I truly weren't there.

She was going to be difficult about this, I guess I should have figured this. I couldn't hold her being rude to me against her. She had been hurt, and this was her way of protecting herself from me. I got that, or at least I was hoping I could. I was also hoping I wouldn't say something to her that would only make matters worse.

"Nez-"

I couldn't finish that sentence because she whipped around to face me so fast it almost gave me whiplash. She looked more pissed than ever.

"Don't. Call. Me. _That. _My name is Renesmee…Nez is just a pet-name, and you don't get to use pet-names." Alright maybe I didn't entirely understand what she was going through. The night before she had been gentle, she kissed me. Now she was vicious, but like before, I really couldn't blame her. Because on some level, I was going through the same thing, only I wasn't verbally attacking her.

"Fine then, _Renesmee. _Are you really so mad at me that you would purposely go that place just to spite me?" I asked bitterly; she rolled her eyes.

"Believe it or not, not everything I do is based on _you._ I'm going because I need to have one day of fun before I leave. And if you insist upon coming, do so, but…" She stepped closer to me, meaning business, "Don't ruin my fun, you seem to be good at that.." Nez whispered steadily, sounding testy. Her eyes were still narrowed, filled with determination. What she was determined to do, I didn't exactly know yet.

She stepped back and sighed.

"I'm going to go get dressed," She stated, then make a glance at me once more. "Don't think about me naked, Alec, the world could collapse." She said sarcastically, then started to stomp back towards her room like she was on a runway.

She was certainly pissed, that much I knew of.

"What the hell happened last night, Al? She looked like she wants to tear you apart." Felix said, still looking in the direction she had went, as I was.

"I suspect she does."

"Yes, but the question is why? What did you say to her? She's like…in heat or something. Its scary.." He mumbled, sounding as shaken up as I felt.

I couldn't tell Felix what happened, I'm sure he wouldn't understand. In fact, I could just imagine him, the face he would make, followed by bursts of laughter. If not that, disgust. He knew that there was something between us, that much was obvious, but he didn't know that I actually felt things for her. I also didn't even know if he was aware of Aro's plans, his intentions. Felix hadn't mentioned it at all, so I had to wonder. Maybe Aro had kept it elite, just between him, Marcus and Caius, and then of course Jane knew. Jane always knew.

"The better question, Felix. _Why _did you put that idea into her head!? A club? Are you brain-dead? Felix, my friend, hear me out, okay? Clubs; they happen to be _filled _with humans, do you really think they will be accustomed to red eyes? Damn it, Felix, we are Volturi guards, we slaughter vampires for this kind of reckless behavior." I spoke, feeling like I was talking to a ten year old instead of a centuries old being.

"Well, that's the advantage, isn't it?" He joked, smiling cockily.

"What?"

"Being a guard, I think we get a free pass. Besides, don't think I don't know about your little shopping spree with Nez. Man, I wish I could have seen you in jeans." He laughed to himself; I rolled my eyes, pretending not to hear him.

"Listen, darkened room, half sober kids, I don't think we'll have much of a fitting in." Felix encouraged, I smirked.

"Yeah, you'll blend in right with the young adults." I stated, observing his body build.

This was going to be my personal hell.

I didn't need to change into anything else, I didn't want to be going, so I wasn't going to dress up for the occasion. The only reason I was attending was that I wanted someone in their right mind to keep an eye on Renesmee. Felix might as well be one the girls, so that left me. I got to be the personal chaperone.

My thoughts of how miserable I was going to be later on were disturbed when Nez stepped out of her room. I couldn't place an opinion on her wardrobe, because honestly, I couldn't see it.

She was wearing a long trench coat that hung all the way to her ankles, whatever she was wearing underneath was a mystery. Her hair was pulled back from her face, clipped up carelessly, it seemed as though she thought her hair didn't matter tonight. From what I could see she was wearing a little bit of makeup, and a sour expression to see me.

"Lets go."

With that, she walked past me. I caught up quickly with her.

"What are you wearing under there?"

She glanced to me and raised an eyebrow.

"Control yourself, Alec. Its not fitting to ask a young lady what she is wearing underneath her over garments." Nez teased, getting me more and more angry and curious by the moment. She was punishing me, that had to be it. And it was working, very well I might add. Nez was purposely dragging out the fact that we couldn't be together every chance she got, just to remind me. It was immature, selfish, thoughtless, and on her part, quite clever.

"So this is how it's going to be from now on, then?" I asked bitterly, not looking at her.

"Its what you wanted, isn't it? Keep the distance, pretend what happened didn't. This should be your dream come true." She replied harshly, not a ounce of hesitation in her cold voice.

I grabbed her arm to make her face me. Did she honestly think this was my idea? To be cruel to each other? She thought this was something I wanted? Something I had planned on? I might be able to understand where she was coming from, but I would not let her sit here and say that this was my intention.

"You think I'm _enjoying _this?" I spat, sounding every bit as harsh as she did. She needed to get the hint that I wasn't going to play her game all night. I had some pride, and I wasn't going to be walked all over just because she didn't see that I was doing her a favor.

Renesmee snatched her arm out of my grasp and glared at me; no words needed. In fact, she shook her head in disgust and headed to where Felix was standing.

It only took moments for us to arrive at the club, and I still had no clue what Renesmee was wearing. This was one of those times I wished I had X-Ray vision, it was driving me absolutely mad that I didn't know. I had a hunch that she was wearing something that I would not approve of, I tried to picture different outfits. Spaghetti straps, short skirts, but when we stepped into the club and she took off her coat to reveal what it was, it was way worse that I imagined.

I could only describe it in one simple word.

Sex.

And I wasn't the only one noticing it either, how could I be? Even Felix was gawking in a shocked manner, still holding her coat with his face frozen in place.

Nez had a pathetic excuse of a dress. It looked more like a cloth. It was a dark red and black plaid top. That's all it was really, a top that went a little past her thighs. It was didn't have any sleeves of any kind. Her pale, bare shoulders glowing in the flashing lights. But this wasn't the worst of my problems, the first were those things she was wearing on her feet. Long, suede, black boots. And I'm meaning the kind that went all the way past her knee, the kind with little metal buttons that went all the way up. I'm talking about the kind that made me want to take her right there and then without a second thought. I couldn't keep my eyes away from them. I said before tonight was going to be hell.

I was not mistaken.

This was my hell, my own personal, customized hell, with Renesmee stamped all over it. I wanted her. I could picture in my mind ways that I would thrust into her, how she would feel around me, her tongue exploring my body, there would be nibbling in places that shouldn't be nibbled on. The different positions, listening to how high I could make her scream, the only thing that would be left on her body would be those boots. I would save those for last; and when I did remove them I would do it one buckle at a time, torturing her with anticipation. I would not be gentle with her, I would be so rough I would make myself break out into a sweat. Right there. I don't think I would have noticed the audience.

I could care less.

With Renesmee wearing this whole out fit, I would want them to watch. She was mine and I would want everyone to know.

As I thought about all the things I wanted to do to her, I realized my mouth was hanging open like a moron who was on the verge of drooling. I also realized Nez had disappeared into the crowd.

Music was blazing. I had never been to this club before, it was American owed I think, so the songs were of course recognized by Nez.

I suddenly felt Felix grip onto my shoulder, I broke out of my trance to look up at him.

I stood silent for a moment, staring up at him, then suddenly hissed silently.

"Look what you did!" I accused at a bewildered Felix. I started to cut through the crowd to find Nez. I had to find her, at this moment some greasy lug was probably putting his hands on what wasn't his.

_It was mine._

No its not.

_But it might as well be mine._

But not officially.

_Damn it!_

I hadn't had a headache in a thousand years; okay technically I really wasn't over a thousand. I wasn't even nine-hundred, but that didn't matter. What did matter was that I needed to find Nez, providing she was still alive, so _I _could kill her.

Simple.

As I made my way through the room, there were tons of girls that I could feel gawking at me. Of course this wasn't much of a shocker, vampire's were naturally beautiful. But still, it was strange, some of them looked like cougars. And though some of them were pretty, none of them were my target.

When I finally spotted the devil's spawn, she was dancing absently with a drink in her hand, gulping it as her body swayed to the music. The song was of course was unfamiliar to me, but it was beginning to sound so close to home with every word.

_She puts in overtime_

_And on those slow grinds_

_She gets a hustle of lupatans, buckle up_

_But I got that attitude She got the right moves_

_Lets put the working' baby, up and down the avenue _

This is not happening to me. I might be damned to hell and back, but I didn't deserve this. I was doing the honorable thing! And this was the thanks I got? So much for thank you cards.

I didn't even know Renesmee could even hold liquor, but there was obviously a lot of things I didn't know about her.

_Yeah she don't stop_

_She working' it all about_

_She moves it around the clock_

_And she can get it, sh-sh-she can get it_

_Don't quit, the way that she moves it_

_She's making me lose my grip_

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take listening to this while watching her move like that, I couldn't stand the pain that was growing in my head, I couldn't stand the way a random older woman was staring at me, and how her hair looked. I hated the world, and I wanted Nez to know it.

And with that thought in my mind, I grabbed her and pulled her over to a wall that didn't have people pressed up against it making out. It was hard to find, but it was there.

"What the _hell _are you DOING to me!?"

I sounded like a twelve year old girl. I was loud, and squeaky and not to mention very dry. I was losing my marbles. I used to be sane before I met her, I prided myself on my ability to block out everything and everyone. Now I was like a ant under a magnifying glass, about to burst while Nez was the evil kid laughing evilly.

Trying to catch my breath, I looked down at her to see a smirk on her full ruby colored lips.

"I'm not sure I understand…" She said innocently..

"Oh don't give me that. You know exactly what I'm talking about! Do you even know what you're wearing?" I snapped, leaning in closer to her so no one else could eavesdrop.

"A well thought out outfit?"

"Completed with Please Come _Fuck _Me Boots. Yeah, really thought out." I hissed sarcastically.

Nez's eyes widened at my choice of words, she knew I usually wouldn't say anything like that in the presence of her. But there's a time in a man's life when such language is needed. Hell, at this point, I think the word is good for me.

Why should I hold back my emotions when she clearly isn't keeping hers locked up? Or anything else for that matter? For all I knew, she could be losing her virginity tonight, and not by me! Hell, I didn't even know if she was a virgin anyways, I always assumed that she was, but now she might as well be a pro. Because I was currently putty in her delicate little hands.

She then used those hands to push me against the wall, hiking her leg up, her heel pressing against the wall that my back was against. She hitched her leg so high that her foot was parallel to my head. Her short dress was riding up, I just knew it. Everything would be visible, did she care?

_Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't. Look. Down._

I looked down, it was unavoidable. And as I suspected, I enjoyed very much of what I saw. She was wearing a black G-String underwear with a little bow to top it all off.

She ran her hand along one of her boots, I kept my eyes up at the ceiling, trying desperately to block out what was happening to me and my body. Because it was of course responding; how could it not? She was throwing everything she had in my face and I had to resist it.

I looked back to her face, which was filled with contentment and mischief. She was enjoying my misery. In fact I think she planned on it all along.

"You don't like my boots? I wore them especially for you, and you're just going to turn me down?" She asked with a pout in her voice, her lips sticking out slightly as she swiftly took my hand and very slowly tucked my hand inside the rip, gliding it down her knee. Her skin felt so smooth under my fingertips, and warm. The heat from her body was overwhelming, it was all overwhelming. Everything was a blur, the outside world didn't exist. No people, no music. The only thing I could hear was her heartbeat, that alone was enough music for me.

With my hand over hers, she unbuttoned two of the buckles on her shoes.

It felt like my heart was rising in my throat; a lump, if you will. I was a helpless little bug. A small insect under her shoe that she was going to kill without effort.

My expression must have given too much away, because she coughed out a short laugh.

"I'm sorry, how mean of me to tease you like this. When we both know nothing can happen…its beyond cruel." As she said this she quickly buttoned the remains of her shoe and kicked her foot off the wall. I exhaled deeply as if I was finally above water for a long time, feeling relieved. She would have drowned me.

"I don't know what you're doing, but its not-"

"I'm just giving you the bittersweet ending you wanted for us, Alec. I thought you'd be pleased." She stated in a fake sweet voice, then her eyes went south. She smirked and leaned in a little as if it what she was going to say was a secret. "You um…you seem to have a little something on your pants. I would go take care of it in the bathroom if I were you." She was waving her hand in a up and down motion discreetly, I knew what she meant. My eyes widened at her suggestion. The bad part was I was actually considering it. I was considering fixing my own problems with myself, because I was at the point of ache. I have some severe mental damage, not that it wasn't a perfectly natural thing to do. But it had been a long time since I actually needed to.

She started to walk off, then turned around once more to look at me.

"Oh, and Alec…?" I looked up at her, exhausted. She simply flicked me off, then continued on her path to rebellion. Where as I had to excuse myself. The closest thing I had to a cold shower was a sink.

A disgusting, germ infested sink. But it was all I had. I walked into the bathroom and took my jacket off hurriedly. I turned on the blue knob and splashed the water on my face repeatedly. It didn't help.

As I was about to give up on ever finding sanity again, I heard the door swing open, and saw Felix's reflection in the mirror behind me.

His grin was face wide, his arms resting across his chest as always. I didn't want to hear what he had to say about any of this, because personally I blamed him for coming up with this little adventure. Still.

But nonetheless Felix had to have a say in everything, he was good at stating his own opinion when it wasn't desired.

Turning around to Felix, I ran my hand over my hair and shook my head.

"Not tonight…"

Felix chuckled.

"Oh yes, tonight my wisdom has to be shared. You're a moron." His voice sounded so sure of himself, as if he never had to questioned it before, and to be perfectly honest I agreed. I was a moron to think that Renesmee wouldn't try to get back at me. This was Renesmee after all. She didn't do well with being told what to do and I should have been more prepared then I actually was.

I glanced at Felix as he patted me on the shoulder, as if he understood everything, only I knew better. Felix didn't understand anything that I was going though, in fact I was having seriously doubt as to weather I was understanding any of it myself.

How could he?

"Do…Do you love her man?" I glanced up at him, my eyes widen at his choice of words, I was feeling as if my heart was tight in my chest and that was impossible given that I was dead.

There was no way in hell I was in love with her. No way. Lust after her was a definite yes, but love? The emotion was impossible for me. It wasn't real. Fascination sure. But I didn't believe in love itself. It was just something that weak minded people have as a excuse for their pathetic lives. All make believe. People see it in movies, read in it books, but deep down I believe everyone knows that it's not actually in the real world. Not that kind of love anyways. Sure, I loved my sister, but that was sibling love. What Felix was talking about was something that wasn't meant for vampires. Well, wasn't meant for me. I had never been in love personally, but I was close to it once. In my human years. Yes, I was definitely weak then, and look what it got me in the end? Burned at the stake. God, I haven't thought about her in years. Besides my past romances, what I felt for Nez was something unexplained. Something that happens when people got too close. Something that---

_Should be in books._

"No. I don't."

Felix shook his head, rubbing his jaw in a calming way as I blinked in the mirror, trying to make sense of what I just realized. In my head it felt like I was speaking the truth, but somehow my body was responding in a way that made it feel like a lie.

Did I lie? Do I love her? Sure I would never let anything happen to her, but that's just common courtesy. Not love, after all it's impossible.

"Then you won't mind it that Pablo is dancing with Nez in a way that should only be seen in bedrooms right?"

"Exactly, she can do whatever it is---wait. What?? Who?!!"

I didn't give him a chance to answer. I was out of the bathroom in an instant, searching for the head I was about to rip off.

If my heart could beat, I'm sure it would be pounding! In my eyes I saw nothing before me. Everyone within the club had no faces, as if they were all the same. I couldn't control this amount of emotion that insist on flaring up inside of me. I tried to sustain it, and tell myself that it was just a little bit of jealousy but I would only be lying to myself, because it wasn't just jealousy, I was utterly and irrationally worried for her, but deep down I think the jealousy was outweighing the other.

Someone else was touching her, moving with her and it wasn't me.

It was making me insane.

I kept pushing the image out of my head, the image that my mind made up on it's own. Some random loco, pushing his body up towards her and kissing down her neck, and of course with Renesmee's mood tonight, she'd let him. All because she was trying to get back at me for hurting her.

My mind's power didn't nearly do it justice.

Once I made it to the bar in the corner, Renesmee was in my view. The guy she had with her was some unknown person who looked to be in his early twenties. Way to old for her, not that she actually cared. The man had black silk hair that was spiked up in all kinds of directions, and was wearing the most god-awful shirt I have ever witnessed. Bright multi-colored, polyester shit. That's what it was, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she wanted to dance with such a thing. Monstrous, that's what it was, and it wasn't like the guy had a pretty face. Overly long with a nose the size of the club itself.

He was bad news. And just really -let me say it plainly- bad.

I was not going to have the displeasure of watching him doing the cha-cha or funky chicken or whatever the hell he's trying to impress her with. I actually couldn't read her expression. It was lost and disoriented.

Just then a new song came on, I tried desperately not to do anything irrational. After all I didn't want to care about this. Cause a scene with all these drunk humans but it was getting very hard not to.

So I tried concentrating on the music. Not that it was good.

_She's nothing like a girl__ you've ever seen before_

_Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood hoe_

_I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful_

_The way that booty movin' I can't take no more_

_Have to stop what I'm doin' so I can pull up close_

_I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful _

_Damn-_

My thoughts of listening to the stupid lyrics evaporated when Pop-star over there put his hand on her ass. His disgusting, greasy, who knows what the hell has touched with it hand on her well rounded, cute and little bum!

Like hell he's going to be grabbing that!

I finally stepped in. I marched over to where they were dry humping and pulled her out of his grasp. I'm not sure what came first, his protests or her surprised face.

"Hey man-"

I gave him the old 'You dare try and stop me I will dismember you, take pictures and send it to all your little girlfriends' look.

He didn't try to talk again after that.

"I believe you owe me a dance." I stated, turning back to Nez.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I don't owe you anything."

I laughed softly to myself and began to slowly walk in a circle around her. She rolled her eyes; I knew she hated it when I did that. Which is precisely why I like doing it so much. She deserved any displeasure I could give her after what she has been putting me through tonight. I was going easy on her. Oh- just wait until morning.

"Maybe not, but does it look like I'm all torn up about it?"

"You look like a creep, but that's just stating the-"

"Shut. _Up_." I commanded, and before she knew it my hands grabbed her hips. Her eyes rounded a bit, perhaps surprised I was taking over. And I was, definitely, taking over. The song was blazing out of the speakers, singing something about a sexy bitch, I couldn't really pay attention. I just kept watching her face, watching it as I swiftly grinded my pelvic against hers. If she thought I didn't know anything besides the waltz, she was mistaken. And perhaps I shouldn't have been doing so; but I greatly enjoyed hearing her gulp as I continued to move with her on me.

She seemed to get more comfortable with me, she put her hand on one of my shoulders and tilted her head back. She looked like a Goddess.

Nez after another few moments turned around so that her back was against me, she grabbed onto my neck from behind, never going outside the beat of the song. I ran my hands along her waist, she felt like heaven under my fingers. I wanted to remember this. The smell of her hair, which was right under my nose. The way she was guiding my body to move with hers. Everything.

In the back of my mind I knew that this wasn't a good idea. I didn't seem to care, though.

But that's what gotus into this crap, me not thinking.

"There, now was that so hard?" I whispered into her ear, then stepped back slowly. She turned around to face me, a disappointed look on her face.

Good.

"That's it?" She scoffed, like a typical teenage girl.

"That's it." I confirmed, smirking the smirk I knew drove her nuts.

My moment of triumph then vanished. Evaporated.

Poof.

I heard the next song come on.

That. Damn. Song.

That slow, sadistic sound. The one I heard on Nez's ipod -which I had stashed away in my room- the one where I was picturing her dancing to it. This was the same song. It was like someone up in the sky was not my friend tonight and was trying to ruin my life with this stupid song. I tried to keep some composure, act as if it didn't mean a thing. But I was screwed.

_Please, just be my imagination. Please, don't be real. Be another song. Be- _

_Come on closer…_

"Oh, I love this song! I have this song on my-"

"No. No…" I shook my head, not wanting to believe it. I took a step back, tempted to run away. This wasn't happening. It took forever to get that satanic song out of my head, the vision I created in my head of her. The vision that was currently coming to life.

Of course she was going to dance to it. Of course she was going to make this a living nightmare. She was going to kill me. She was. I tried to be strong, I did. But I was no longer a man, you see.

I'm a has-been.

I used to be pretty scary, I thought. Not anymore. She took that. She took my life, my dignity, my cool and my balls. They were all resting with _HER!_

HER. Her, who was swaying her hips to the erotic music, just like I imagined. And trust me, it was a view.

Nez placed a hand on the back of her neck, moving her hips back and fourth. Her eyes were closed. It was like slow motion in my mind. Her hands now brushed down her body, and formed to ever curve as she spun. Her movements were so sensual. So beautiful that I was beginning to think that it was just me and her in this large, crowded room. She was dancing for me, and me only. With her hips going in circles, and her heart beat becoming slow, and steady. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Even more so with the sweat that dripped down her pale, creamy neck. My mouth was becoming dry at the sight.

_Gonna take it slow babe _

_Do it my way _

_Keep you're eyes on me _

_Your reaction to my action _

_Is what I want to see_

I couldn't watch any longer. If I did, I really would have to make a break for the bathroom, and I really wanted to keep the shred of dignity that I had left. To hold on to the bit of man I had in me to grasp onto.

_Well, that was a little too close to home._

I have to get out of here.

Feeling furious with myself and the direction my mind was going, I stomped away to the bar, where Felix was sitting, lightly bobbing his head to the music with a pleasant and relaxed expression on his face. He looked as though he came here every Friday night.

Sometimes I worried about Felix, I really did.

"Nice moves out there." He winked. I rolled my eyes and glanced back at Renesmee. She had already ditched the song and was now gulping some drink.

I grimaced; how many drinks had she downed when I wasn't looking? Or how many did she have with Mr. Pervert when I was having a conference with myself in the bathroom?

I didn't want to know.

I motioned for her to come to me. She shook her head in a stubborn manner, grabbed someone else's shot that was literally in their hand and downed it.

The person looked pissed, but Nez only smiled and practically skipped towards myself and Felix.

"Thanks for taking me here, Felix. I'm having a really, really good time."

"Yes, maybe too much of a good time. How much have you drank, Renesmee?" I asked in a stern voice, giving Felix a look so he wouldn't cut in and wise crack.

Nez pursed her lips together, crossing her arms.

"Enough." She said quickly, then whistled to get the bartenders attention, slapping her hand down on the bar. "I need a screwdriver. Pronto!" She laughed randomly.

I expected the bartender to asked for I.D. But when he nodded and started walking away I then remembered there really wasn't a drinking age here in Italy. She legally could drink.

But mentally and physically, I didn't think she was ready. Because she was getting more intoxicated by each second.

"Nez, what you need to drink is a tall glass of water."

"Water is for people like you, for pu-"

"Here you go." The bartender interrupted, handing her the drink. Felix was trying desperately not to laugh, well aware of what she was about to call me. I just sighed.

The bar hand then asked for the money; and Nez once again, looking scared when it came to her having to pay up.

She looked down at her tight dress and pressed her hands against stomach and sides.

"I don't think I have any money…Felix?" She asked sweetly, pouting out her lip, with her eyes wide.

I was going to scream if Felix gave her the money.

"Sorry, kiddo. I don't have any on me. _Alec_ might." He said mockingly. He probably did have the money, just did that to piss me off.

I shook my head and dug into my pocket and thrust it into the man's hand. I should have told him to take it back, that she wasn't going to drink this. But I had read a sign somewhere that said if you order a drink, you pay for it. And I honestly didn't feel like putting up a fight, we'd all know the outcome.

When I looked back at Nez right after I gave the dude his money, she had already drank half of it.

"Whoa…this stuff is total boss!" She giggled.

I had no idea what she meant, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to know. But I hadn't heard the term since ages. Was it back in these days, or was it just Renesmee?

Probably just Renesmee, it wasn't even that popular back then.

"Renesmee, give me the glass. You've had enough." I protested, reaching for the glass. She clung to it possessively. Squeezing it to her chest, giving me a glare.

"No! Get your own."

"I'll bite _you _for my own personal drink soon if you don't stop acting so childish!" I hissed in a low voice. My anger growing within each second we were in this place. I officially hated it there. More so then before now that Renesmee was drunk off her butt.

"Alec…we need to leave." I heard Felix whisper in a strangely panicked voice. I turned around to see what his problem was.

I saw the problem.

There was a drag queen/prostitute with a blond wig, bright red lip stick, dark eye shadow, thick mascara, and way too much rouge staring at Felix lovingly.

I've seen a lot of scary things in my time. But this, this had to make my top ten list. It was one of the most frightening human beings I think I had ever encountered. Not only was he/she checking out Felix, when I turned around she gave me the scary eye as well.

"Hey, big guy, whose your friend?" It asked, motioning to me, winking.

"My brother." Felix replied automatically, looking scared for his life. I didn't understand him, I mean sure the broad was creepy as hell, but he was a vampire. A vampire who enjoyed killing other living things on a daily basis. Surly this was no threat to him.

"Do you come here often?" It asked. Felix's grip on my shoulder became very, very tight and his eyes widen in fear. I shook my head as I heard Felix began to whimper, and I quit paying attention to them after that because that's when I realized Renesmee was climbing onto the bar, and was literally trying to stand on it, throwing her arms in the air as guys started to whistle.

"Nez, get the hell off that!" I shouted, trying to grab one of her legs. She kicked it away effortlessly, then bent down, to where I could see everything. Again. She looked me in the eye, a somewhat serious expression on her face.

"You know, I've seen Coyote Ugly, and I've always wanted to try this. They make it look so easy, I thought I'd give it a go." And with that, she stood up, and started dancing to some song that was playing.

The bartender kept shouting get her off in Italian, that he was going to call the police soon if she didn't.

"Whooo!" She shouted, now walking across the bar, people had to pick up their drinks because she would have stepped on them otherwise. There was even a human who offered her money. The same ass-wipe who touched her butt in front of me. I hissed so low that I don't even think he heard, I didn't care if he had either way. I was going to murder someone tonight. And I was having my heart set on him. It would be easy. One snap and he would be dead, or better. I could always torture the perv. I am after all Jane's brother. I've done my fair share.

Feeling Felix's hand on my shoulder once again I looked back at Nez and was completely dumbfounded. She was out of control. I really hadn't expected her to take her rebellion this far, though I'm not actually sure if she was aware of what she was doing. She was, in fact, drunk. It obviously didn't take that much alcohol to get her tipsy, but with this probably being the first time she ever drank, it made sense.

She continued to dance on the bar, not listening to the bartenders threats, and the way people -mostly young men- were gawking at her. I wasn't going to have her be a joke. Grant you, she was acting like one, but she wasn't.

I had to forcefully pick her up off from the bar and swing her body over my shoulders. This took her by surprise. She kicked her legs; which I had to hold down with my forearm. She then slapped my back, of course it didn't hurt.

"Put me down, Alec!" She screeched as I walked out the door, Felix not far behind us. I suspect he was glad to be out of that drag queen's way. I was just glad to be out of that place in general, and I was never going back. Not under any circumstances.

As me and Felix walked through an alley, Renesmee was still protesting her best.

"Put. Me. Down! I'll bite your ass, I mean it, I will!" She threatened. I smirked at the bluff. She wasn't going to physically bite my ass. I think she had some pride.

But when I felt a sharp set of teeth bite onto my flesh through the material of my pants, I figured then she wasn't joking. I also remembered that she was half vampire, her teeth were very strong. I hoped she hadn't ripped my pants.

"Ow!" I hissed, and practically threw her off my shoulders and onto the ground. From now on, I would believe any 'bluff' she sent my way.

"You liked it." She muttered under her breath, starting to pace in the direction the club was in. She couldn't be serious.

"Oh, no you don't!"

"I was having fun!" she said, starting to twirl. I glanced at Felix for help, he only shrugged and held his hand out, as if to led the way. I sighed in displeasure, throwing my head back in annoyance with my coven brother. He was feeding me to my own death. I felt like If I wanted anything done, I had to do it myself. Before Nez makes a fool out of herself, more then she already has.

As I saw Nez begin to walk backwards, and calling Felix to join I stumped in her direction and groan.

"No! your not invited anymore, Felix help meeeeeh." she slurred in her intoxication. I shook my head, and went to pick her up again, only she kicked me and ran behind Felix. She really was acting her age now, and I was growing impatient with her games.

"You kick me again, and I'll make sure you have nothing to walk on. Are we clear?"

She hissed between clenched teeth and busted into laughter, and with one glance at my face she laughed even harder. I was really starting to worry about her. I had no idea that half-vampires could drink at all, and now that I did, I was still unsure of the effects. Would it mentally impair her? Physically? I had all these questions and none of the answers and when I looked at Felix for some comfort, he didn't even share the same expression, instead he was looking at Nez, trying to hold in his laughs. I wanted to kill them both.

"FELIX!!"

"Okay, Okay. Little Nez? How you feeling, babes?"

"Like I could fly!" She said, throwing her arms in the air as if to reach for the night. Her mouth was making a 'O' shape as she laughed. "Like I can reach for the stars! Oh…a song! I like that song! Twinkle, Twinkle little starrrrrrrr!"

I slammed my palm to my forehead and actually prayed that my night would be over by the time I looked up.

It didn't work.

Nez continued to sing her little heart out while Felix looked as if he was enjoying himself a show and I was feeling my frustration grow by the hour.

As we started to walk in the right direction slowly, Nez placed her hand on Felix's shoulder, and placed her free hand over her heart. Singing the loudest her voice could make. She really was going to pay for this tomorrow. I don't have a plan but this meant war. It wasn't that she couldn't sing. Really, she could carry a tune, but now didn't seem like the time to be doing so, especially in her state.

"Renesmee, please stop." I pleaded.

"No! I'm winning over Felix's heart and soul through song!" She protested, looking up at Felix adoringly like he was the best big brother anyone could ever have. I suppose he would be, if he were humane.

"Well that wont be to hard to do, he falls for everyone." I half joked, as Felix elbowed me in the ribs. I couldn't help myself. It was as true as anything else in this world is. In fact it was a known thing that Felix never liked being tied down. I guess he was like myself in that way. Only difference was that Felix was known to crush on other people's mates.

Like Bella for example.

_Oh Boy. _I thought to myself as I remembered Felix's flirting around Isabella Cullen.

I doubt Renesmee even knew that about her so called friend, and if she didn't know then I wasn't the one whose gonna' to tell her and ruin everything between them, though the look on her face would be epic if I was willing to spill.

Felix however, wouldn't be happy, and probably tear my heart out.

_Ha!_

As the two of them and myself turned a corner to the main street, Nez started to trip which to me was quite amusing. If there's one thing in my life I can honestly say I didn't do, is that I have never been this drunk in public. At least not that I can remember. After a moment of trying to gain control of her legs and failing, Felix grew tired of freaking out every five minutes and decided to pick her up completely.

I was relieved, that is until Felix ran in front of me and shoved Nez in my arms, and smiled.

"I don't want to go to him!" Nez squeaked, wrapping her arms around my neck and resting her head on my shoulder. If she hadn't said anything, I would of thought she would want to go to me, the way she hung to my body and everything.

As soon as I had a good grip of Nez, I gave a glare to Felix who just started to walk backwards, in the direction of the club. The last place I expected he would be going, what with the thing back there and all.

I gave him a puzzling face as he shrugged.

"No one throws cash at my little Nez." he said simply and disappeared so fast that not even I could see him. He was gone, and the only ones who were out here were Nez and myself.

Alone. Together.

_Good God._

"Where did Felix go? I want Felix. _FELIX!?!!" _She practically screamed out, not caring that it was a late hour and a lot of humans were sleeping. I didn't really care all that much either, though. What were they going to do to us?

"Felix went to go take care of something, and I'm taking you home." I stated sternly, contemplating whether or not to run instead of walking, but with her being sick I should probably just walk at a fast pace. I didn't want her to throw up all over me if it could be helped.

Nez looked up at me, her eyes surprisingly focused.

"I teased you goooood tonight didn't I?" She said sounding so proud of herself. She should be proud, while she can be. She was going to be in so much trouble for doing this to me. For torturing me like this.

She must have read the expression on my face.

"Am I going to regret it tomorrow?"

"Yes, yes you are." I replied honestly. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to get back at her yet, but I was going to do something she wasn't going to be fond of. The challenge was figuring out what to do, I couldn't exactly attack her, I'm not that monstrous, with her at least. I couldn't lock her up, because she'd figure a way out. She was clever like that, very clever.

She laughed evilly, and grasped onto the back of my neck a little tighter, pulling herself closer to my chest. I could smell the booze on her, though surprisingly it didn't bother me all that much. In fact I was enjoying it more then I should.

"You smell good. Why do you always smell so good?" She asked, pressing her nose to the fabric of my jacket and inhaled deeply. "Its hot out here, isn't it? Is it just me? It seems hot." She complained and pressed her forehead against my cool neck. I tensed up immediately, because my neck had always been sensitive, even in my Vamp life. It also didn't help matters that she was extremely warm, like sun rays were shining down on a block of ice, melting me to the touch. She was like that, my own personal sunrise.

"That feels really good." She murmured, her voice low, and her warm breath hitting my skin, she shifted her head to where her lips were pressed against my neck. Every nerve in my body was waking up to the contact. Now she was pushing it. When I said that my neck was always a soft spot, I meant it. So having her practically kissing it was just a cherry on top of the perfect night.

As she moved her mouth slowly against me, I felt tingles go down my spine as her lips trailed up. I clenched my teeth together and fought the urge to kiss her.

Because I wanted to kiss her very much at the moment, even if she was intoxicated, I wanted her. I needed the feel of her lips on mine, because having them on my neck was just agonizingly infuriating and torturous. Like telling Felix not to check out Bella or something when she's around. But I wasn't going to take advantage of Nez in this state. I was -sort of- a gentleman, or at least I liked to think I was. Then again, gentlemen didn't think the thoughts that I have. They wouldn't even know what to do with themselves if they had.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, hoping talking would distract me some, but it probably wouldn't.

"Better…or…oh no…" She said in a panicked voice, her eyes bulged, as her head shot away from my neck. I was on immediate alert then.

"What? What is it? What's wrong?!" I demanded in a worried voice, not knowing the problem. I was surprised of how concerned I was, because I had no idea what was wrong with her, and I didn't know where this emotion was coming from. It was as if it snuck up on me. Maybe I was over reacting, after all she could have just remembered she had forgotten something back home and I was freaking out. But when she was crying out for me to set her down and ran to a dumpster and started puking, I figured then that it wasn't something minor she was worrying about.

I was right behind her in an instant and was holding her hair out of her face, hoping she would be okay. It had been so long since I last had thrown up, I couldn't tell you what it felt like, but from the way she was sounding, I knew it couldn't be pleasant.

She lifted her head back up and looked at me when she was through, and I could see tear stains down her cheeks, and she was slightly shaking all over, her face becoming a bright shade of pink.

"Nez, are you alright? Talk to me." I asked, taking hold her shoulders as I looked her deep in the eyes, tilting her chin up with my index finger. Once again, that feeling of anxiousness was washing over me. I knew it was only because of the alcohol, but still, I didn't want her to suffer this much, even if she did deserve it. After all how much did I know about human functions? Was she truly going to recover from this? Was this going to get worse? I didn't know anything about this. I felt helpless, and lost.

"That was nasty…" Was all she mumbled before stumbling. I caught her before she had a chance to fall. I once again picked her up, her body was weightless in my arms. I wasn't going to waste time walking now, she needed to get home, take medicine and sleep or something. So I ran, cradling her close to me safely as I did so.

It didn't take all that long for us to get back, and the whole way there she didn't wake up or anything, she was passed out.

I was never more happy to be back home then I was now. Tonight gave a whole new meaning to 'home sweet home.'

Once I got her in her room, I put her down on her bed, I was lucky no one noticed us in the halls, and even if they did, I had only one train of thought. As her head hit the pillow Nez mumbled something I couldn't understand, but I didn't think she was awake. So I then started taking off those damn boots. Of course, I couldn't help be reminded of the way they looked earlier as I undid the buttons, the way she had me slide my hand in. The way they looked when she was dancing. It all came rushing back to me.

I groaned softly to myself and pushed those thoughts aside and tore the boots off. Literally, I tore them in half. And to be perfectly honest, I did it on purpose. She'll be upset at first, but she's thank me. Besides, they came off easier now, and I'll never have to be worried of her wearing them again.

I smirked in triumph as I looked down at the shreds of suede laying on the ground. _Good riddance. _

After that, I pulled back the covers and tucked her in. She sighed and snuggled up with her pillow. Even if she had just drank way too much, made a fool of herself, danced on a bar and puked up a lung, she still looked as beautiful as ever.

I left her then. I walked down the hall towards my room, but only to bump into Felix.

He looked content with himself, like he had done a good days work.

"Is it done?" I asked plainly, crossing my arms.

"Done? I have no idea what you're talking about Alec. I'm ashamed.." He chuckled to himself. Renesmee could never find out what Felix had done. Even if he said he did nothing, I knew better. Hell, I wanted to do it myself, but Felix beat me too it. Regardless I suspected she looked up to him in a way, and even though I knew she already was aware for his love for the kill, I still wanted to protect her as much as I could. I don't think she would be fond of the fact Felix had killed the boy she had been dancing with. I would of warned Felix not to say anything to her about it, but I knew he wouldn't. He didn't want Renesmee to be scared of him. It was understandable. He cared about her. Which made me like him even a little bit more.

"So, how is Nez?"

"As good as she can be, I guess." I shrugged, trying to make it seem as though I didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't know if he could tell that I was actually really concerned about her. But this was Felix, and for some reason he always has been able to see right through me, much to my dismay.

He narrowed his eyes as I expected.

"You _do_ love her, don't you?" He asked skeptically, real genuine surprise was on his face, like the wheels in his head were turning, at last.

Of course, he was just assuming things again. Like I said before, I didn't love her.

I didn't.

Just because I was concerned about her and that I would kill anyone who dared try to hurt her, and just because she looked radiant in her sleep and stuff, this all didn't add up to me loving her. It wasn't love. It couldn't be. And I had to explain that to Felix as best I could.

"Felix, its just part of Aro's plan. It doesn't mean anything!"

Felix then looked confused, his brows pulled together and he shook his head.

"Aro's plan..? What are you talking about?" He asked, sounding as if he didn't know anything. Of course Felix knew, he had to. Felix knew practically everything that went on around here. He was the eyes and ears of the Volturi, the spy. He was just pulling my leg.

"Felix, c'mon, stop joking." I insisted, not in the mood for his games. He might have been sometimes childish and immature, but he wouldn't be so mean as to tease me about this of all things.

But Felix didn't break out into a silly grin and apologize, the look of confusion was still plastered on his face. Could it be he honestly had no idea what I was talking about? Since when did I know something Felix didn't!?

"You…you don't know about what Aro is wanting me to do?"

He shrugged and that's when I remembered.

He had no clue, and I was a complete moron.

Looking at Felix, I didn't know what to say or do. I knew if I told him the truth he would end up hating me, but I had to rely on someone. Though I have to say the last person I thought I would be telling is Felix, but somehow I was finding comfort within his presence. I needed his advice on what I should do. Either tell Nez to go home like I should, or be her guard and hurt her over and over as I'm hurting myself. And I decided against my better judgment to tell Felix of Aro's plans.

After I was through explaining it to him, the look on his face told me everything.

I was scum.

I already knew that, but still, seeing it made me feel all the worse.

"Oh- Oh that's dirty, man. I mean, I knew Aro was a little twisted but this…this is-"

"Wrong. I get it. I'm hoping to buy some time so that he can forget about the plan. So far, it hasn't been working. And the more time I spend with her, the more I realize that I am way in over my head. She's driving me crazy, Felix. Its like every time she comes into a room I feel whole, and I just want to be near her all the time. And when she cries, I want to kill someone. And-"

Felix's face went from shocked and disturbed to completely blank, like he saw the light at the end of the long tunnel for the first time in decades.

Was it something I said?"Will you listen to what you're saying!?"

"Say what?"

"Oh, damn…okay. Let me spell it out for you alright? You don't just love her, you are completely, head over heals, birds in the sky _in love with her! _Like the Scarlett and Rhett kind of love or Romeo and Juliet kind of love, ringing any bells? You're besotted, dude! Wake up and smell the A-Positive!" I had never seen Felix this worked up before. He was throwing his arms in the air dramatically as if he was in a drama and he was pacing back and fourth in the hallway. His voice was carrying throughout the whole hallway, I'd be surprised if Aro didn't hear him.

I was literally starting to get a little scared. He was losing it, all because of some little issue that didn't exist. Maybe we should have Felix examined, I've always thought we should, but now seemed like the right time.

"Felix, calm down-"

"Oh I'll calm down, alright." He said and swung his arm around my head and tightened it in a head-lock. "I'll calm down once you admit you're burning passion."

"I'm not admitting my love for you, man."

"Not me, you numb nuts! Of course if you wanted to say it once in a while it would appreciated…"

"Felix!" I growled, the more I tried to get away the tighter he held on. I'd have to admit it, Felix was indeed much stronger than myself. But I did have an advantage. "I can numb your ass, Felix. Don't think I wont-"

"You can't without a head, now can you? And you know the process of reattaching it is pretty uncomfortable. So do us both a favor and fess' up!" My head was starting to feel dizzy, I was pretty sure my neck was about to detach any moment. He was cutting off my air supply, not that I needed it.

As if the night couldn't get any worse, as soon as I was about to set myself free and numb Felix, of all people Heidi and Demitri come popping up into my view.

Heidi was wearing a simple, but classic Heidi kind of dress. It was a cream color, low neck, went to her knees. And of course, of all the people to bring with her she brought Demitri, no telling where they were coming from. I knew I didn't want to know.

"Felix, Alec…rough night?"

She had no idea.

Feeling Felix's grip tight on even more so than before, I could have gagged, as I saw Demitri smirk with delight. Of course he would enjoy the view of me getting my ass kicked. I just thank God Jane wasn't with them, that really would've been too embarrassing.

"I'm just trying to get Al here to stop lying to himself!" Felix complained.

Heidi mumbled something to Demitri, who just smacked her ass and left. I thought my eyes were going to melt out of their sockets, I couldn't believe I had just witnessed that. Now I definitely didn't want to know what they were doing before this. I'm glad I didn't have dreams, I'd be having nightmares of weeks.

"Is this about Rennie?" Heidi asked, shaking her head.

"Who?" Me and Felix said in unison, our eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"Renesmee, you idiots! The Cullen girl? The one Alec is in love with." She rolled her eyes, waving her hand in the direction of Nez's room.

I was beginning to feel really outnumbered here, but I wouldn't talk. They could interrogate me forever and I wouldn't say a word. They take would not take my dignity and pride over something that's fairytale-ish.

With one tight squeeze of Felix's arm, I swear I could hear my skin start to crack.

"I knew I wasn't the only one who saw it. Thank you, Heidi. Now listen up, kid. This is what you're going to do. Once you say it -and you will- you're going to take her away for the weekend somewhere. Get lost, get laid, I don't really care at this point-"

"Oh jeez, Felix. You don't have to go into the dirty details!" Heidi whined.

I looked up at her through Felix's arm.

"As if I didn't get a full view of what goes on in your bedroom." I muttered as I glared at her, a smirk to my lips. Heidi quickly opened her mouth to protest but thought it in her best judgment not to. Wise girl.

"Bite me." She muttered under her breath.

"Oh, I will, once Felix-"

"Say you agree with my plan."

"I agree…"

"Now say you love her. Say it!" He demanded.

Everything after that seemed like slow motion. I saw her face in my mind, her clear pale face with those gorgeous brown eyes, provoking me. I remembered our first kiss, the first moment I laid eyes on her and realized who she was. I also thought about what this would mean if I did say those words, my relationship was built upon fear, it was ran by fear. And I'm not a coward. Perhaps I should, once and for all, admit to myself and to those around me that I am in fact in love. And before I could even hold it within myself, the words flooded out of my mouth.

"I love her." I whispered, more so to myself than to them. Felix's grip remained just as tight at before, yanking my head. I don't know why he was still doing so, I said it. I said it and meant it with every fiber of my being, and it felt. Unnatural, but at the same time it felt like a weight was off my chest. Like deep inside my heart, something was set free at last.

Oh God, how much I loved her. I would go right now into her room, but I couldn't, Felix was still holding onto me, apparently wanting me to say it again.

"I didn't hear you the first time." He said obnoxiously with a smile in his voice. Victory was seething out of his mouth. I looked up at Heidi was trying to hide a smile. Well at least they were content.

"I said, _I LOVE RENESMEE!_" I yelled.

Then, as if fate was kicking it, I heard a small, fragile voice choking from behind me.

Felix instantly turned around, me still in his grip. Heidi gasped.

"You love me?" Renesmee asked, her doe like eyes were wide and full of confusion.

I had no idea what I was going to do. Things could only get worse from here, I felt it.

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**Writer's Note: HOLY CRAP! A CHAPTER!?!?! O_O OMG!! Can it be true!?!?!? FINALLY! Ladies..and hopfully more ladies, we have got a chapter! We feel extremely quilty for leaving you guys out in the cold for a MONTH! omygosh..how can you ever forgive us!? Are there still any readers out there? Have you jumped ship? Because we wouldn't blame you guys if you did! OKAY! This chapter..took a freaking month. We wrote this for a month. Alot has happend, distractions..medical problems.. Cece got sick [again]...for reals. We aren't lying. Anyways, we love you guys dearly for the reviews we've been getting. You are our shining rainbows. **

**To see the famous boots and slutty outfit, check the profile. We've updated..or we will right after we post this chapter :D If you review, Alec shall give you lots of kisses!! *wink* And..a cupcake :) **

**We're so sorry!!**

**~iitm**


	13. Chapter 13: And Then They Played

**WARNING!: From here on out, the story is very much M-Rated. Please keep that in mind as you read. We're not held responsible if your offended -which you shouldn't be- Please do not post reviews saying we're disgusting; we are already well aware. Thank you.**

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**Chapter 13: And Then They Played…**

**Renesmee's POV**

The first thing I heard the next morning, or whatever time it was, was a annoying echo in my head, and it wouldn't seem to stop.

"Renesmee…wake up."

I didn't know who the voice belonged to, but I knew it sounded beautiful, yet very aggravating. Like a blow horn. I didn't want to get up, I didn't want to move. I had a headache that was pounding in my skull, like there was a marching band inside just going at it. I also felt like I was going to barf at any minute, my stomach felt so disgusting; tight and in knots. I felt chills, and if I didn't know any better I'd say I had a fever. Every sound that this person beside me made, magnified ten times to my ears. I wanted to reach over and slap whoever it was, or worse kill. As long as there was peace and quiet in the room I would be fine. And don't even get me started on how my body felt in general, aches everywhere.

What happened last night?

I remember talking Felix into letting me go to a club for fun, he decided to come along as well. I must have had too much to drink there, because I could only describe this feeling as a hangover.

I was never drinking again. I guess I had to learn the hard way. I envied those who never drank, cause they didn't have to feel what I was feeling.

Not that I didn't have a good time last night, I did. I think. I deserved it a night of fun, didn't I? What I didn't deserve however, was the voice ringing in my head over and over again. Didn't whoever it was understand that I didn't feel good? I just wanted to sleep, sleep off this misery.

"C'mon, Nez. Rise and shine." The voice said once more in a irritated voice. Then I knew who it was. The lump in my throat tightened, and I really was convinced I might throw up.

I peeked up from the comforter that was covering my face, and stared at him. My vision was a bit off, so thankfully I didn't have to be dazed by his strikingly good looks.

Alec was just sitting there, looking impatient and tired. What was his problem? And why was he bothering me? He didn't have a right to come crawling into my room, sit on my bed and demand for me to wake up. Why didn't he just go back to his own damn room?

But just then, I realized that my sheets were not my own. Cotton and white, where as mine back at the Volturi were red and silk. I looked from the sheets to the room itself, to realize that I was not at the Volturi's at all.

A panic rose in my chest, and as I anxiously looked around the unfamiliar room, my head started to spin in confusion, plus I just shouldn't have moved that fast.

"Sleep well?"

I glared at him. Sleep well? Really? He couldn't possibly be asking me such a question when I didn't even know where I was or how I got there! I tried to remember when he got back last night, looking for some kind of clue as to how I wound up on a strange bed. I literally had no idea where we were. I could be in Russia for all I knew! All this thinking was making my headache even worse.

Looking at his pale face I tried my best to remember what happened. Nothing was coming to me. All I could see in my head were moments and feelings. For starters, I remember being mad. I remember seeing Alec, and being completely and totally mad. But I couldn't

for the life of me remember the reasons behind my rage. I sat back on the bed and grabbed my forehead, as I groaned in pain. My back hitting the base-board. As soon as I felt somewhat stable, the entire room shook, shifting to one side. My eyes looked up at Alec, in a shocked manner.

"What the hell?!?!" I said, throwing my hands around Alec's neck so my butt wouldn't slide off the mattress.

Oh god, we were going to die!

I was going to die, with Alec looking completely stunning and---at ease, with the whole situation. That bastard. This was all his doing. It always was, but this is a little much. Kidnapping me? Bring me to a what I guess was a boat? Would anyone could hear me if I screamed? I didn't think so. In fact from what I can tell no one would be able to notice. We were probably millions of miles away from Volterra. I could possibly die here and never see my family again. All because Alec kidnapped me! I can't believe he would do this to me, and for what reason? There was none. I tried my best to think of some excuse, but all that got me was pain in my head. Making me feel sick with worry. I looked up at Alec's face, and glared, my lips inches from his, with my arms still around his neck. I almost forgot that I was taken against my will, until I saw the smirk on his lips.

Then I remembered.

"What- what is this? Where am I? Where are we!? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!? Is this some sick twisted fantasy from your most inner thoughts, Alec? What is wrong with you?"

"Breath," He commanded as I let go of him and shoved him away, and for the first time took a good look around the room I was in.

Everything was a pretty beige color; the carpet, the curtains, the bed itself, all breathtaking. The bed was huge, seemed bigger than a king size, and the comforter felt like it had feathers inside it, smooth to the touch. Everywhere I touched, it made a imprint; it was memory foam. I loved memory foam; I loved everything about this room. It was like it was custom made just for me. How the hell did they get their hands on things so extravagant? I will never know, and a part of me didn't want to. I just wanted to bury myself in these covers and never wake up again.

I guess Alec was looking at my face because he spoke again, breaking my train of thought.

"Is it to your liking?" He asked as if he was reading my mind.

I scoffed.

"Of course I don't like it. Its every girl's wet dream. The question is; how did this dream come true?"

He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, his face looking puzzled as he crossed his arms.

"You don't remember?"

"Well if I did, Alec, I wouldn't be asking."

"You are unbelievable. You don't remember last night? At all?"

"I thought we went through this, already." I snapped, picking up a pillow. "I. Don't. Remember." I emphasized, hitting him with the pillow with each syllable. I knew I couldn't do much to hurt him, but I still could try. I threw down the pillow and jumped up from the bed, I aimed for the door as fast as I could, but with a familiar sound of wind, he was right there blocking my exit. Of course I tried to beat it, but he was too fast.

"How can you not remember? You don't recall dragging us to that roach infested pit hole? Rubbing your ass against some dude's junk? Or here's a classic; how about you dancing like a crazed lunatic on a bar top, showing everyone your prized possessions?" With each reminder, I felt more and more humiliated. Did I really do all that he said I had? I remember going to the club, I guess I wasn't drunk when we arrived. I remember picking out the drop dead gorgeous outfit that had a little kick to it, putting on those boots that I adored since the moment I pulled them out from one of the boxes of clothes. I wasn't wearing them today, I must have taken them off at some point.

I also remember vaguely dancing with Alec, his hips moving against mine. That I remember very clearly. And the way he looked at me. Somehow the rest of the night seemed to be a blur.

I looked up at Alec, who waited for my response. He was going to be very disappointed, because I didn't have a answer for anything. I couldn't be held responsible for anything I did last night because I honestly couldn't remember doing it. And it seemed a bit odd how he was so mad at me just because I might have teased him a little bit. I thought he could take more than that, I guess I overestimated him.

"That doesn't matter now, the point is what happened after, and if you don't tell me I'm going to punch you in the face!" I threatened, trying to dodge him, though it did no good.

"You'll be crying the moment our skin makes contact." He said over confidently.

I gave it my best shot. Using all the vampire strength I had in me, I thrusted my fist into his nose, and sure enough he was right. With a big smack sound, I screamed out in pain; my knees hitting the ground.

"OWWIE!" I hissed, grabbing onto the fist. "Sweet mother of pearl, that freaking HURT!"

Son of a biscuit eating bulldog!

Oh the pain. The evil, uncontrollable pain. It was swelling up into my hand making my entire arm go numb, and becoming unbearable for me, that I couldn't help but cry. I couldn't even look at it to see if I broke something, all that mattered was that it hurt like hell, and by this point Alec was laughing hysterically. I would hit him again, but I didn't want to hurt the one good hand I had. All I wanted to do was get out of this room. Where would I go, I had no idea, but hitting him seemed like a good idea, at the time.

Stupid fool.

I stared at him, bitter and angry. He just continued to laugh. After a moment of whimpering, I took it upon myself to fix the problem. In the corner of my eye I saw one of his hands swinging, I snatched without permission of course, because at the point I didn't give a damn, and placed it over my throbbing knuckles.

It felt wonderful, his skin was already starting to ease the pain a little. His icy palm resting on my hand, causing the burning to fade.

He stopped laughing and looked at me, puzzled.

"What're you doing, Nez?"

"You're like my personal icepack, alright? Its not like I want to be touching you, but right now you're just handy." I muttered. Though I didn't want to admit it, I rather loved his touch, even as awkward as it was. It was familiar, and anything familiar right now was good, because I still felt like I was in the dark, all alone.

Alec cleared his throat to break the silence.

"If we're going to be doing this, you should get up off the floor." He said, then before I knew it his free arm was gripped around my waist, gliding me up against his body. I could feel my own body brushing up against the bump in his pants. Could he possibly be hard for me now? I highly doubt it, he was so mad at me. But still, it caused me to be a little excited that I could cause that for him even when he was angry with me. It could have caused traumatic events to occur, and though I was hurt still, I couldn't deny to myself that I still wanted him. Especially now; with him so close? I couldn't refuse myself that pleasure if it was offered to me.

After a few moments of imagining of what it would be like if he touched me in places that I had never been touched, he spoke, pulling me out of wonder-land.

"The bed?" He asked.

I let out a short breath, as my mind went straight into the gutter. The bed, the couch, the floor, the kitchen counter, standing up, sitting down, I didn't care. My head was going a million miles an hour revolving around him take off my clothes. Oh, how he would feel on top of me, both of us easing each others pain that we had caused. His skin touching mine, his lips exploring the curves and creases of my body, no place untouched or left behind. I had thought he didn't care, that we were going to pretend that nothing happened. But since he took me all the way out here, alone, it had to mean something, if only I could remember what it was. It was at the tip of my tongue, like it wanted to come out, but I just couldn't think of what it was.

Oh, how I wish it would. So I wouldn't have to go through this. Did he say sorry for what he did to me? No, it had to be more important than that. It was something extraordinary, I could feel it.

"Bed…?" I asked, closing my eyes and leaning in, taking over the rest of his personal space.

Alec groaned, sounding conflicted as he gripped onto my arm lightly and guided me towards the bed, making me sit.

"Move over." He said, bumping his hips into mine to make me scoot. Utterly and completely confused, I obeyed as he sat down next to me and pulled my injured hand closer to his face to examine it, I allowed him reluctantly; confused.

Alec then rubbed his thumb over my tiny wound, his coldness soothing against my warmth. I couldn't control my mind from wandering.

With each knuckle he touched, it was like a stroke of his finger to my clit in my mind. Then of course after his mouth would be in me, his tongue tasting me, not that I was objecting. His hands would be gliding down my stomach, and grabbing onto my hips, keeping me in one place. As if I would have gone anywhere, I was his, and his only; as if he was marking me. I would grip onto the comforter for support, because if I didn't grab onto something I would float away. In my mind, I was all but willing for him to stop. I would be happy to thrust my hips forward, gliding his tongue further into me, it would never be deep enough, I know that much. It was so clear in my head, in this room, on this very bed, my hips will buckle, urging him forward, begging him not to stop.

"Don't stop, please. Deeper, Alec.." I would say, his silk brown strands running through my fingers. It all felt like a movie that I was creating with my sick mind; my back would arch, going into spasms as his wet tongue was doing circular motions inside me. My heart pounded just thinking about it; I could also feel myself getting wetter. I always had these private images in my head when I was around him, or away from him. They just came. But I know that if we were to do that, I would try to encourage him to never stop with my pleads. I've already kissed him, I knew what his mouth would feel like, but I could only imagine it being ten times better, down there at least. I imagined the chills and flames that he would cause. My legs going numb and limp, a pressure building and building inside me, I was on the verge of exploding. And then finally, when I think I can't take anymore, I release to him, willingly and helplessly, screaming the whole time.

I need some serious psychological help!

I almost forgot that Alec was in the room with me, tending to my hand. Almost anyway, till he made a sound so deep in his throat, sounded as if he tasted something sweet in his mouth.

I opened my eyes to see his jaw clenched, and his eyes shut, like mine were a second ago, like he himself had a vision.

"You should really learn to control your thoughts, Renesmee."

Oh, shit. He did, didn't he?

No. No, he couldn't possibly. I wasn't using my ability, and as far as I knew he didn't read thoughts. My thoughts were my own, my own twisted thoughts! What I thought in my head was mine, no one else's. Or at least I thought so.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. I didn't know my ability could do that; sneak out of my without my permission. But sure enough, it seems it had. Maybe it was all my imagination, he was just pretending.

"I love it when you scream for me, pleading for me to go in deeper. Its music to my ears." He whispered in my ear, soft and sensual. I could only imagine my face turning a bright red right now, in fact I knew I was because I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. My heart was beating the speed of lightning in the sky. I was humiliated, yet thrilled that my voice was his music. Still, I didn't want him to know any of those things. That I was a sick twisted person. He probably thinks I'm easy and premature now, and I probably was.

I hated myself for thinking those things, for letting my mind carrying itself.

"I- I didn't…mean to…do that." I stuttered.

"Don't be ashamed, your mind creates the most beautiful visions I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing." He sounded so sincere, like he was thanking me. "I am aware of how ready you are." He said in a low voice; I looked at him, baffled at his statement. How could he know when I was ready? Wasn't that my decision? I was about to tell him this, but like he knew what I was going to say, he answered swiftly and certain.

"I can smell you, Renesmee. Ready and ripened."

Ever so slowly I closed my legs together, feeling a lump in my throat as I discovered a fact. That he could smell my need for him.

I was completely hypnotized by his mouth, he made me sound like a delicious fruit and

it took every once of control that I had not to make those visions come true. I had pleased him. Emotions were welling up in my chest, I had done something right out of something I was ashamed of. He was making it impossible to be embarrassed, like I could be my true self with him and I didn't need to hide what I wanted. He understood. It all felt very overwhelming, like any moment I could just hug him, all because of how he made me feel. Its almost as if he loved me. So silly of me, imagining him saying he loved me. I almost felt the urge to show him, but some things need to be kept in secret.

The thought of him saying it over and over -which was retarded because it will never happen -almost felt familiar. In the back of my mind something was going off, but I pushed it aside and concentrated on reality.

"You have to focus, Nez. This isn't what I brought you here for."

"Then why did you bring me here?"

"To help you remember. If you too caught up in your mind, just remember I am the enemy. I hurt you. You hate me." He said, kissing my hand softly, then dropped in. And where did it land? Of course, it landed on the one place that I wanted to touch so badly, my salvation.

My palm was directly over his hardness, feeling the width of his manhood. I wanted to explore it. The feeling of him only made me more drenched with need. I wanted him so badly. Pain and enemy in all, I wanted him. It all seemed so insignificant now, all that happened before this. It didn't matter anymore.

"How could I hate something that feels so good?" I whispered, not moving my hand. His eyes shot open and then quickly closed, like he was trying to remain calm. Only I didn't want him to.

"Move your hand…please." I was more than happy to oblige, after all he knew my desires, why shouldn't I help him with his?

As I glided my hand upwards to feel the tip, he groaned uncontrollably, which in return made me pleased with myself. Until he spoke again.

"I meant away, Nez. Move your hand away."

"You don't want me to." I stated, noticing that his hands were clenched into fists at his sides. He looked at me, those beautiful red eyes burned with the same passion that I had for him, like he was second guessing his decision, and I couldn't be more proud.

"Please. Its not part of the plan. You need to remember last night, before you do anything. Before we do anything."

I scoffed and pulled my hand away, growing agitated. I don't understand any of this. He could have me, I was willing and open. But he still refused me. Again. I thought we had learned something from this, and since we were alone I had thought Alec that was mine. The one from before, the one I went touring with around Volturi, only to find myself with the Alec who told me to pretend. I despised this Alec.

"Are you telling me that unless I don't remember, we're back to square one? That you're instantly going to deflate?"

"Absolutely."

"Well, then why don't you tell me what I did last night so we can skip a step? Because I'm getting tired of this crap." I snapped.

Alec instantly stood up, the Signature Smirk stamped to his lips.

"As am I, so I suggest you start to remembering. And until then…" He trailed off, starting to walk out the door. "Don't look for me."

Drama queen, much? I mean sure, I can be a little dramatic myself, but he was beating me to it.

"As if I'll have to try. This is a boat, for crying out loud!" I called after to his back as he left.

Moron.

I had to think. I had to clear my head and think. What would cause Alec to do this, to say no to me? Besides everything? I could start counting on my fingers if I wanted to.

His sister.

Aro.

Caius.

Marcus.

His reputation.

His screwed up emotional damage.

Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winner. I must've messed with his emotions. Because I don't remember him talking to Aro last night. I do, however, remember Felix, who had Alec in a headlock. And Heidi. Right before I passed out. Why was that so important? I think he said something as I was coming in, in fact I know he did. Something that caused me to get angry, but what was it? Ugh, I will never figure out anything while I'm in the room that I imagined him giving me oral sex in. I needed to get out and get some air.

I walked out the door to see a narrow, short hallway, designed the same way my room was. Elegant. There were two doors on either side of me that I peeked through to reveal other bedrooms. Huh. As if one room wasn't enough. Looking down the hall, I saw a small staircase, I started to walk up it, unaware of what it would lead me to.

And behold, it lead me to another hallway, which also held many rooms. I had no idea where I was going, or where I wanted to go. So I turned left and took another flight of stairs that I saw, which happened to lead me to the place I could only imagine to be the Captains headquarters.

He was laying across the beige couch that had many multicolored pillows, striped to be exact. I had never seen him before, the captain, but his face was round and slightly wrinkled. I looked over to the steering wheel to see a blinking light that read 'Autopilot.'

"Excuse me, sir? Do you know where we're heading?"

The man's eyes opened instantly, looking alarmed as he sat up on the couch, his hand over his heart. I began to feel guilty for waking him.

He was very much human, but then I started to wonder how such a man would be suckered into this. But then I remembered that humans worked for the Volturi all the time, and they only wanted one thing. To be a vampire. The poor man would probably end up being their dinner.

"Ah, Signorina! You mustn't frighten Roberto, old man's heart, very weak." He said in a heavy Italian accent.

Roberto looked to be in his mid-forties, his dark hair was starting to thin out and grey. I could see a little bit of a scruffy beard his dark colored face. He reminded me of a grandpa, only not nearly as old. Just then, Charlie popped in my head, along with Renee. Oh, how I missed them. I could remember when I was young, Grandma Renee would bake cookies with me.

I then wondered if Roberto was married and if he had any kids. He probably did.

"Does Signorina need help?"

I gave him a smile.

"Yes, what is our destination?" I asked politely, as Roberto started to shake his head violently.

"Oh no, Signore Alec said no tell Signorina Renesmee." He explained, the R in my name curling. I threw myself on the couch, sitting next to him and started to vent out to a complete stranger with warm eyes.

"This is just terrible. I get kidnapped against my will on a beautiful yacht, a probably stolen yacht, on a journey to who knows where! With a man who barley speaks English -no offence- and a extremely alluring vampire who is bipolar. Not to mention I miss my family, who I will never see again more than likely." I said this in the most whiney voice I could muster, it didn't even sound like a voice; more like a squeal. But I had a reason. I was emotional and scared for my life, not to mention a hangover that still wasn't disappearing completely. Plus, a good case of the mojo's for Alec! That's right, I, Renesmee Carlie, am horny. I had a extremely annoying itch that only Alec alone could scratch, and of course when I needed it the most, he wouldn't help! Talk about bad luck. I was screwed, figuratively speaking of course, because if it was literal, I would be satisfied, pleased, this yacht wouldn't be rocking because of the water! And why can't I get any? Because I can't freaking remember!

"Can I at least call someone?"

He shook his head once more. I couldn't even call Felix, not that knew a number. As if I could call 411 and be all like, 'Excuse me, can you give me a number for the secret lair of the coven of vampires named the Volturi? Yeah, that's V-O-L-T…uh huh. That's the one!'

Yeah, that's not going to work.

It was pointless.

Felix, if you can hear me…damn you if you helped at all in this plan!

I cupped my face in my hand and turned to Roberto.

"Why not?"

"Signore Alec says no phone, either."

"Bastard. What else did he forbid?"

"He just says that there will be no exchange if I break rules, you understand, eh?"

Actually I had no idea what he was talking about. Exchange of vows? No, I don't think Alec was gay. Though it would explain a lot. The scarf, for one. The rejecting of sexual advances was another. Was he thinking of another man when I-

Nope. He was definitely hard for me. So what was Rob's problemo? The only exchange I could think of that wasn't matrimonial was eternal life, and just when I was about to ask Rob if that's what he meant, he just chuckled, placing his hand over his chest.

"Sickness of the lungs, cancer. Only so much time before passing. Want to see grandbaby born this Christmas." He explained. My heart dropped, imagining a baby born without a Charlie of Renee, or a Carlisle or Esme, all because of a sickness. It didn't seem fair, not fair at all. No wonder he was desperate for immortal life. Though it seemed sad that if they did actually change him, he wouldn't be able to see his grandbaby for a while being that he would be a newborn. I guess that didn't cross his mind, if it gave him hope to see the child at all, then why not?

"Signore Alec promised."

That did it. It was like a switch of a light bulb. The Volturi were liars, I knew that better than anyone. And the fact that he promised this poor man immortal life just to get him on this boat made me sick. I wanted to rip the sleaze ball's head off and stomp on it. I would turn this man myself if I was venomous, but unfortunately that's something I didn't inherit from Daddy. Still, I had a voice, and if I had any say at all, this man would be turned if that was what he truly wanted. With that thought in my head, I excused myself and started hunting for Alec.

Sure enough, after a few moments of getting lost, and believe me I got lost, I found him at the front of the yacht, on the deck. He was resting on a cushion, with his nose stuck in a book, not even looking up as I stomped over to him.

"You remember yet?"

"You heartless prick! Do you have no conscious? No concept of right and wrong?" I yelled, snatching the book from his hands, making him look up.

"Oh, so you do remember." He said, confident with his assumption, standing up and crossing his arms as he faced me. The sun was out, meaning he was sparkling. I tried to ignore the loveliness, not just of him, but the sea in general. We happened to be surrounded by it, this was the first time I actually noticed. The water and he seemed alike, they both reflected the sun's beauty. But I had to focus. Roberto was being tricked and it was all Alec's fault; making promises he can't keep.

"No, I didn't remember. But I did, however, meet Roberto!"

"I've heard. What about him?"

"Well if you heard, then you know he is going to die! The poor man is dying and you're just playing with his feelings, putting false hope in his heart!"

He looked offended now and I was glad. I wanted him to hurt, because when Roberto realized he was going to be a snack, he would hurt. I wanted Alec to feel guilty about it.

"Are you accusing me of lying? Roberto's been a good friend for many years. I made him a promise; I keep my promises." He spat his face getting closer to mine and his body over shadowing mine. The darkness to my light.

"You don't know how to make promises."

"Shows how much you know me."

He had me there. I didn't actually know if he was good at making promises. I just assumed he didn't because the Volturi didn't seem like the loyal type of coven. Call me judgmental, but it was a known fact that it was more likely they suck people dry rather than change them. And when I tried to tell Alec this, he just kept going on and on about how he spoke to Aro earlier about Roberto. Which eased my panic some, but I still wasn't completely convinced. Aro wasn't a man who listened to people of lower status. Heck I'm shocked Alec confined his wishes for Roberto's future. I mean did he really tell Aro everything? Did he tell him everything we did? Like did he tell him about the club?

I then wondered if he had, or was that strictly elite? Something told me he hadn't, not about anything. My boots and or the clothes I wore. I'm thankful if he hadn't. Those boots were deadly weapons in my eyes. Remembering Alec's face when I braced him up against the wall with one. Which caused me to wonder where I put those suckers.

That's when I remembered. It was like a flash before my eyes.

He shredded them, my beautiful babies. He had no right! Those were mine.

Looking down at the book in my hands, I decided I'd get even. I threw it overboard, watching it float away with glee. Alec turned to face me, a hiss escaping from his mouth.

"I was reading that."

"Yeah, well life is tough. I was wearing my boots and oh! What do you know, you tore them apart." I said bitterly, glaring with my hand on my hip.

Alec smirked.

"You remember that."

"Yeah, just that. So don't get excited. Though you did seem to be getting riled up last night if I recall."

He flashed a grin that made me want to melt in the sun. So beautiful, how is it possible that someone who was so beautiful but so mentally retarded at the same time? God had some special plans for this one, that's for sure.

"I also recall me picturing in my head you riding me, right there on the dance floor in front of everyone." He sounded so honest then, it shocked me. But I was also thrilled because he knew my deepest desire and now I was getting a glimpse of his. I thought I'd look into it a bit further.

"Riding you, eh? Bouncing up and down, smooth and slow?"

He let out a laugh, sarcastically of course.

"Try hard and extremely rough, you didn't seem at all gentle last night." He spoke, certain and avoiding eye contact as if he was keeping something else from me. I then assumed I was probably very cruel to him last night, how, I'm unaware. But I was getting warmer to what I want, which is to find out why I was on the boat, and what I said to piss him off.

"Go me." I stated, crossing my arms and flipping the strand of hair that was in my face from the wind.

"No matter the team you're on, remember this." He said, stepping closer and whispering in my ear. "Se lei mai mi prende in giro ciò ama di nuovo, l'assicurerò non potrà al funcion il suo corpo perché lei sarà così esaurito dopo che l'entro. Più e più volte…understand?" He said.

Did he really think I was that smart? I was American, and even though I still thought it to be a major turn on when he spoke that language, I still didn't understand it. I think he knew that; just did it to mess with me.

"English, please."

I heard him chuckle softly, then he began to slowly kiss down my shoulder, moving the thin spaghetti strap that was in his way, making my head feel dizzy and my eyes not able to focus. I get Italian plus physical contact? He really was trying to torture me. I would willingly be his slave if he asked, if it meant more of this.

"I said…" He began, turning my face so that I had to look into his eyes, his bright, intimidating eyes. So red, beautiful and dangerous. Just how I liked them. "If you ever tease me like that again, I'll make sure you will be unable to function your body because you will be so exhausted after I enter you. Over and over...you understand now?"

"Completely."

He said he was a man of his word, perhaps I should tease him again if it meant he was going to that. I wanted that, badly. He made it sound like it was a threat, but I found nothing bad about it. And though he said to remember he is my enemy, I couldn't do it. Not with him talking that way. I was after all half human.

"So does that mean if I do it again I get punished?" I said sounding too eager to be punished. I need boots! I need something. I need sex appeal. Maybe if I lose the dress they put on me, though I was quite fond of it. But sacrifices were needed, I understood that.

But we weren't the only ones on board, and I didn't want to give poor Roberto a heart attack.

Alec then braced his teeth against my collar-bone, sending chills and anticipation down my spine as he started to kiss up the neck.

"È realmente troppo cattivo che l'amo." He moaned, I could feel his smirk against my skin as I wrapped my arms around his neck, making him stay.

"And what does that mean?"

"Afraid I can't say…you don't remember. And until you do, there will be none of this.." He trailed off, placing his hands on my lower back and pulling me to him, opening my mouth with his lips and sliding his tongue in and out once. He then departed from me, leaving me speechless and in heat, as per usual. My heart sped, he was such a gigantic ass tease! His tongue; oh how I missed it. Forget being hurt and angry, I just wanted him, needed him in fact.

I took a seat on the cushion where he was lounging, crossed my legs and placed my hands on my knees, trying to concentrate on the past events.

I am centering myself. I am me. I am the sea.

I need some serious freaking help.

I sighed in frustration because this wasn't doing anything for me.

As I watched the water ripple against the yacht, I remembered his words in my ear, low and lethal. If only I could understand them, maybe it would be a clue as it why I was on this yacht. I'm sure Roberto couldn't even tell me anything.

Roberto. The heavy Italian accent.

Bingo.

I was back up to him within a second, running as fast as my legs would carry me. The old man was yet again sitting on the couch, his arms crossed as he watched the sea. He jumped once again when I entered the room, on immediate alarm as I grabbed him by the shoulders and panted in his face.

"Mister Alec said something, I need you to help me." I gasped, hoping he could understand that this was urgent. His eyes widened and he nodded.

"Si, si, I help." He offered, patting me on the shoulder.

"Good. Okay. Umm…what does uh…" Crap, what was it that Alec said to me? I'm going to have to quote him in Italian. I tried to think, how to roll my tongue the way he did. I never took a class, I had been home schooled my entire life! I never thought I would have to do this. It just seemed like a bunch of gibberish, hot gibberish when it came from Alec, but still, it was foreign to me.

"What does catt…ivo che l'a-mo mean? L'amo?" I tried to my hardest to make it sound real, but I was failing. I could barely speak English, let alone another country's language.

Roberto didn't seem to understand me, and I felt like a complete idiot. Why didn't I ever take a class or something? Or a English-Italian dictionary, they were selling them at the airport. If I had resisted the urge be to cheap and bought the stupid book, I wouldn't be going through this crap. I would probably be outside trying to get a nice tan while Alec rubbed oil all over my skin.

And afterwards, we'd be enjoying casual sex…with the oil present, of course.

"I don't even know why I try…" I complained, real tears starting to come out of my eyes as I rested my head on the poor stranger's shoulder.

"L'amo? L'amoooo." The more I said the word, the more foreign it became. How in the world was I going to be able to have someone translate a word that I couldn't even say right? It was pointless.

I was about to give up and tell Alec where to shove it, but that's when Robbo's body jumped and pulled away. He did a little twirl, his hands in the air and a big smile on his face like the light bulb came on.

"I understand! Two birds, fireworks! L'amo. Tis eh…how you say in English…affection- love!" He exclaimed, his eyes wide and full of satisfaction.

I stared back at him, unmoving. I could hear my heart echoing in my ears, remembering the way he sounded when he said it. Serious, no hint of humor or teasing. My head was beginning to spin.

"Holy shit!" I gasped, turning to look at the man in front of me, his eyes looking like he had discovered some kind of joy. That's when my heart stopped. "He loves me…"

Then everything went black.

My head was swimming in memories, like the night that I forgot was reliving itself in my head. I remembered the guy I was dancing with, and how the drink he gave me while Alec was in the bathroom tasted kind of bitter. I remembered making a fool out of myself while dancing on the bar, the drag queen that was hitting on Felix. I remember the room being blurry the whole time, and Alec's face full of annoyance and displeasure. Yet I could also see sadness in his eyes as well. The walk home was perfectly clear to me now, I had thrown up, and Alec being there to hold back my hair. So sweet of him, he carried me home, even though I deserved nothing from him.

Especially for what happened after that.

After he told Felix and Heidi he loved me in the hallway, his head still in Felix's grasp. I don't think I was meant to hear what he said, but there I was, standing there.

And then I hurt him, hurt him more that I knew I was capable of, and I did it on purpose.

"Nez? Can you hear me? Wake up, Nez." I heard him call out, hands shaking me gently. It was like a red-eyed angel was taking me out of the darkness that surrounded me.

Had I passed out?

I did. Again. How many times must I do this today?

I opened my eyes and blinked several times, my vision becoming clear, as I tried to remember where I was. I was laying on a -of course- beige couch in what I assumed to be the living room. The yacht, I was still on the yacht, I could tell by the slight motion I kept feeling as I laid my head against a pillow. How long had I been out? It felt like hours, days even. My stomach growled, confirming that it had been a while.

Thinking about the night before, I was still confused, why I was having to such a hard time remembering everything? It was all so blurry. Everything was a faded memory, everything except drinking that douche's drink. Ha. It was almost as if I was--

"I was drugged!" I gasped, sitting straight up, alert. Throwing my hands in my face, trying to think. Yes. I was drugged. I can't believe it. And while I was dancing, minding my own business, that polyester douche bag was trying to get some free ass!

Unfreakin' believable!

Well that would explain everything! How I woke up on a boat. Why that drink had the oddest taste, and why he was so persistent on me finishing it off. I was drugged! Violated and totally unaware!

"What did you say?" Alec asked, concerned, as he sat on the coffee table, keeping his eyes leveled on mine. Gosh, he was beautiful. Even more beautiful last night, dancing with me, and being extremely jealous!

Oh yes, I remember now. I remembered everything. I was a idiot last night. Everything I did, everything I said. I hurt him. More then I've ever hurt anyone. All because he said he loved me, and what happened after I ripped his heart out and feed it to the birdies? I passed out. I'm surprised he didn't pick me up while I was asleep and ship me back home. Instead, he brought me here for reasons I didn't understand. Still, I was thankful, because with us being alone, I can apologize, though a part of me still felt hurt from him.

"I was drugged." I gulped, looking up at him.

What must he think of me now, I wonder?

"You remember everything now? The hallway? The….The 'I Love you?'" he said, his jaw becoming tight, as his eyes glued on to my face. I inhaled deeply, as I thought back to the night, the night Alec declared his love for me. Last night. Before I passed out. The words becoming so clear.

'Nez, please listen to me.'

'You couldn't possibly love me Alec, you don't love anyone! Get away from me.'

'I do though Nez, I love you, so much, that's why I--'

'Impossible. You can't love because you're unlovable. Unfeeling, if the world had to survive on your emotions alone, we'd all be dead. No wonder your parents killed you.

They knew you felt nothing for anyone. Not even your own sister.'

'What?'

'Hurts, doesn't it? Knowing your feelings don't matter? It burns? Good, cause I hate you. I hate---'

And that's when I hit the floor, smacking on to the tiled floor. To wake up and not remember the look on his face as I said the worst thing I could ever say to anyone.

Oh no. What did I do?

I was hurt. I was shocked and I was hurt, and I meant none of it. And as I replayed those stupid words over and over in my head, I felt the pressure of Alec's gaze on my face.

"You remember everything now, don't you?"

I shook my head, trying to lie, only it did no good.

"Tell me, Nez. What did I say to Felix and Heidi?" Alec said, as I quickly stood up, and started walking towards the door. With a brush of wind he was in my face, his hands gripping on to my shoulders, forcing me to look into his eyes. I didn't want to talk about this. Not now, not ever. Not when everything about today was so good. The bedroom, the deck. Everything was perfect. Why must we ruin it by talking about what a moron I was?

That's when I realized it. He wanted me to feel guilty. About everything, about what I said, and how he felt. And that made me angry, partly because what I said wasn't true, and another part because he had no right to make me feel guilty. I said those things because I was hurt, because of what he did to me. He made me feel things, and then ripped it away from me all because he was scared. Only to turn around to tell his friends that he loved me? It felt like it was a joke. The hurt, the pain. Everything he did was a joke. How was I suppose to feel? Perfectly content with it? He had to know I didn't mean a word of what I said, and that in the core of everything last night, it was all his fault. Partly.

"Tell me what I said, Renesmee. Or I'll have to force it out of you, and believe me, it won't be pleasurable."

My skin crawled at his threats, his eyes brazed with passion. It seemed as though the red in his eyes brightened with each word he spoke.

Why did everything he say seem like it had a different motive?

I was finding myself half wishing he would get it all out of me like he promised, the other half was wishing he didn't say anything to Felix and Heidi. Because then I wouldn't be in this situation. Such a predicament I was in.

"Is that a promise?"

"Nez.."

"Fine, you said you loved me. Kudos for you, now may I--" I tried to move past him, as fast as I could, I tried to get away from the tension. Not only because I didn't want to talk, but also because of my own fears. I was scared. I knew that. After all we were talking about something very deep here. Something that would get my hopes up, probably just to have me hurt again. It was inevitable. But as soon as my shoulder hit his, I found myself pushed against the couch in vampire speed, held down by Alec's torso, and nothing else.

"What did you say after?" Alec demanded, in a unfriendly tone, followed by a hiss in my ear. I gulped as I tried to push him off. Only to find his hard, cold hands gripping onto my wrists, holding them above my head. He was trapping me; it felt wonderful. Having him on top of me. Our pelvis' touching this way. I felt every part of him, and every part of me was thrilled to be so close, so thrilled that my mind went completely blank and I couldn't for the life of me remember why he was so mad to begin with, that is until he spoke.

"This isn't a request. Tell me."

How could he expect me to know the answer when he was on top of me? Bracing me against the couch with his own body? I could feel my legs starting to go numb, and not from his ability. This was caused by him in general, my awareness of him. I had to fight every urge to wrap my legs around him and hold him here forever. To both of us forget about what I said. But I knew I had to own up to it, I guess I owed him that much. Even though sometimes it felt like he didn't deserve anything.

Second by second I felt my body respond to him. My center was aching, again. It felt almost as though it was searching for him, to be released. Of course it made it all the worse that his shaft was right there; hard and ready. My eyes involuntarily closed, as a groan escaped my lips, I didn't care of he heard. In fact I wanted to let him know what he was putting me through. I opened my eyes to see his own blazing with fire.

He wanted me.

That was breaking point for me. After all, the whole time we were on this yacht he has teased me, provoked impure thoughts. So it only made sense that I would be ready to get the show on the road. I was willing to push back my hatred for him if he was willing to push back his.

But by the look on his face, it didn't seem like he was going to budge, even if he did want to. Which was a damn shame.

The reason why I know he was going to resist the unstoppable was because he quickly got up off of me and sat down on the coffee-table, his arms crossed.

I took this as a green light and started to get up off the couch; only to be pushed back down. I was defeated once again, but I still wasn't going to give into his wishes when he had no problem denying mine.

"We can do this all night, Nez. Either way you are going to tell me what I want to know."

"You already know!"

He shrugged, not caring about the obvious. He was torturing me, making me sit here and confess to something that wasn't entirely my fault. I so wish I hadn't taken that drink. Maybe then I wouldn't be sitting here right now.

I'd probably be home, enjoying a nice glass of orange juice, watching TV in my own room. I was really a moron for coming all the way out here for absolutely nothing. As far as I was concerned, I had not learned anything about myself. Except maybe the fact that I hated polyester, and shall forever will. In fact the thought of polyester made me cringe.

Okay, I was just trying to block out reality and distract myself. It wasn't really working though. I still felt bad, extremely bad. Especially when he was looking at me like he was, waiting for me to speak.

"I would do anything to take it back…" I whispered, my tone even and serious. I peeked up through my lashes. He tilted his head slightly, then shook it.

"That's not what I want to hear."

"Then what do you want to hear? That you're unlovable? Did you enjoy it so much the first time that you are forcing it out of me again?"

"Oh yes, because I love hearing that my parents killed me because of my unfeeling heart."

"Then what is it!? I think you've got back at me enough by the trip in general, don't you think? What more do you WANT from me!?" I screamed, standing up and starting to pace around the room. At first I thought he was going to jump me and make me sit back on the couch; but he let me vent.

"You are unbelievable! You know that? I am feeling guilt out the wazoo! What did you think that I should learn from this? That guilt hurts? Well it does, congratulations. Lesson learned." I was getting out of there, getting as far away from him as possible. Hell, I might even bunk up with Rob if that meant I could get away from Alec. I couldn't get to the door out of the living room quick enough though. He blocked me instantly, and I was getting sick and tired of him doing that to me every five seconds!

Oh look at me, I'm a full blood vampire and run super fast!

Ugh!

I hated him

I hated this boat.

I hated this stupid trip to the destination of the unknown.

I hated Mr. Polyester.

At this point I think it was safe to say that I hated everyone in this damn yacht. Including the crew members that were apparently non existent! I was stuck!

"Nez.." I looked up at the sound of my name, and turned my face quickly. Trying to hide my annoyance. I failed of course. Like always.

"It hurts doesn't it? Knowing you hurt someone you care about? Feeling as though you can't fix it?" He said softly as he tilted my chin to make our eyes meet. As if to make me face his whole plan face first.

My eyes widened at my realization. Now, I really couldn't get myself out of it. I usually was good at getting myself out of trouble, so good that I would fly on by without being noticed, but apparently Alec saw past that. He saw past my charms, beauty and bullshit, and challenged me in a way no one else would.

The more time I spent with him alone like this, the more I realized how immature I really was.

I'm a brat.

A selfish, spoiled brat who truly believes she can wiggle herself out of anything.

Holy crap.

I'm a fraud!

Everyday of my life I had my family, and my friends just bow down to my feet and get me anything I wanted, and there I was growing up thinking that the real world was actually like that. How naïve of me! How pathetic! There are no other words to describe how I felt.

Instead of holding it in like a grown woman, I let it out in sobs like a child.

Next thing I knew I leaned down so that my forehead was resting on his shoulder, as he patted me on the back of the head. I couldn't believe he was willing to comfort me after what a douche bag I had been! I didn't deserve his kindness; I deserved nothing but honesty. Which is the cruel world, which means that obviously everything doesn't go my way, and things are not perfect. Of course I sort of always knew this, but now more so than ever. And why? Because it hurt. It was Indescribable. The feeling of wanting to hold him, knowing that what was said was said. And there was no taking it back. Damn. Did he feel this way? Did he want to hold me as much as I wanted to hold him? I would of seriously doubted it before but now? Now that everything's happened and I get a glimpse into his mind? I couldn't help but feel bad for putting him through hell that night. I mean I even wore the boots! The boots, I knew good and well would drive a priest to jump on the path to sins. What have I done? How could I possibly make It any better, now that I understood everything. It was all so clear to me. I cared so desperately for him. Maybe if I told him that, maybe if I screamed how much I cared it would all be that of the past.

I was going to do it. I was going to open those wounds again and tell him everything. That it wasn't just some crush from a teenager. Or lust for that matter. It was straight on affection. More then that. He completed me. Made me want to be worthy of him. Worthy of living in general. Wow. I needed him. Not in the physical sense, but in the emotional and mental sense. He was everything I wasn't. Fearless, confident and brave, in areas that I lacked. Yet in some areas it was vice versa. I was fun and reckless, where as he was grounded, and thoughtful.

So thoughtful.

I had no doubt in my mind now that I would go to the end of the earth for this man. He was a man. Yet a teenage boy in so many ways.

Oh crap.

I think I'm--in love?

"Nez?"

I looked up into those dangerous scarlet eyes and there laid my answer. I don't know how it happened, but by everything that's holy in this world, I did. I fell in love with everything that he was. Everything that made him, him.

I was about to say that too. Tell him everything, that is until I felt the coldest hands reaching up and under my lose summer dress.

_Oh no. Not again. _

It was Alec of course, picking the perfect moment to do this, didn't he?! Right when I was about too--

I completely forgot what exactly I was going to say. This wasn't fair. Here I was, opening up my heart, and there he was with those damn hands, going up north! And it just wasn't the normal, everyday touch. It was the electrifying, spine tingling, heart stopping, kind. The kind that made your feet curl, what with his nails gently gracing against my skin. His eyes filled with hunger as his body pushed mine back.

My body was going out of wack with his movements. The sensations making me tremble.

As my back braced against what I could guess is a stool, Alec's hands found their way to my chest, his fingers massaging the texture of my skin. I couldn't help myself. As soon as my back hit the cold glass, I took it upon myself and gripped on to his brown locks. He growled a low growl and smirked against my neck. Making my breathing uneven.

"Tell me.."

I had no idea what he wanted me to say, but I would do whatever he wanted. I was his rag doll, and quite glad to be so. I couldn't really bring myself to ask him what he was demanding because my mouth was taken over by his. I had to hold onto the end of the bar for support, because I had a feeling if I didn't I would collapse. Feeling his body molding itself against my own was making my head spin. I suppose he wasn't patient enough for me to answer because he picked me up, turned me around and practically threw me back down on that couch. My heart was pounding in my chest, a sweat breaking out all over my body in the anticipation.

Was he really going to go through with it? I couldn't be one-hundred percent sure. But when he climbed on top of the couch, his knees on either side of my body and his hands running down my outer thighs; I started to think maybe he was serious.

I was getting wetter by the instant. Each friction he created with his skin on mine made me grow dizzy with excitement. I couldn't help but be thrilled about how far he was taking this. But of course at the back of my mind I wondered if there was a breaking point, but I just couldn't think about that. Not now.

Alec slowly started to push down my spaghetti straps, releasing my arms from them. He slowly started to push down the dress, and as he did he planted kisses along my collarbone. With each kiss, my heart skipped a beat. He lowered the dress until it reached my pelvis. I just then realized I was wearing a bra, or at least I _was_.

"I want to see you, Renesmee. All of you…" He practically moaned against my mouth, it wasn't long before my own matched his in unison.

He pulled away from my lips to look back at the annoying piece of clothing. His eyes looked liked they were already undressing me, and he licked his lips without realizing it. He then unclasped it swiftly. Luckily it was one of those kinds that clasped in the front, so it only took a second. I didn't know whether or not to be nervous about him seeing my breasts for the first time. A part of me wondered what he would think. Were they too small? Uneven? Did they not compare to the thousands of others he has seen? All of the thoughts made me worry for a moment. And as I started to turn red in the face, he simply shook his head without saying a word.

Alec then trailed his tongue around the necklace I was wearing, then moved over to ever so slowly trace it around the outer rim of my very erect nipple sending shivers down my spine. Feeling his ice cold and wet tongue on my hot skin felt fantastic, it was like putting aloe on a sunburn. It actually hurt a little from the cold but felt so wonderful all at the same time. And it made my nipple even more hard and that I thought was impossible as it was so swollen it felt twice its size. Trying to arch my upper back so my breasts were more accessible to his mouth, I actually found myself begging him to put my nipple in his mouth and suck on it. He only lifted his head up for a moment to grin evilly.

"Patience is a virtue to cherish." He whispered as he continued to tease the outer rim of it. And the more I moaned the more he continued to deliciously torture me. I enjoyed the torture. I begged for it. If this was torture, then I wanted it forever. There was no part of him that I didn't want to touch, or didn't want to explore. And there definitely wasn't any part of me that didn't want him to devour. I was throbbing with desire. Oh, how I wanted him. I needed him.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest, being that it already beats fast this was actually making me feel lightheaded.

With one of my legs dangling off the couch, I wrapped my left one around his torso using my calf muscles to push him forward.

My legs tensed up to get a tighter grip onto his body. My hips thrusting upward so that I could feel him. Upon doing so I bit my lip, grabbing onto his hair tightly and tugged, to which he responded in a erotic grumble against my skin. I could feel his body tensing up on top of mine.

I couldn't believe my boldness when I actually grinded my hips against his, pushing up with my left leg so I could meet him. There was no space in between us now, the only thing that was holding us back were clothes. They were thin and pointless and quite frankly annoying.

I started to literally rip off the buttons of his shirt, tearing it in half. I was like a hungry lioness, most definitely in heat and on the prowl. My heart was becoming in sync with my emotions and feelings all of the sudden as his tongue meeting mine, massaging it roughly.

I could hear my heart beat inside my ears; I think it was the only thing keeping me somewhat sane.

Before I could completely remove his shirt he distracted me by running his hand through my hair and began using his index and middle finger as legs to slowly crawl down in between my breasts and down my waist. Every skin cell he touched left a burning sensation where his fingers were before. I didn't know what he was doing now, in fact when I looked at him with a confused expression he only smiled softly and continued to focus on his target. I sucked in a breath quickly as I realized where his mind and his fingers were going. He was starting to fumble with my elastic of my panties, but before I could start doing a little 'yay me' dance in my head he spoke, his fingers stopping right at the tip of my curls.

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Say you love me back…"

I bit down on my bottom lip, and caressed his cheek with my hand, making him focus on my eyes. I wanted him to know it was real. This was it. This was my moment to tell, confess to him how I felt. More so than before. I could feel the words starting to form at the tip of my lips, and for some odd reason I wasn't scared a bit.

Maybe this was the boost he needed to tell Aro about us, maybe our love was worth fighting for after all.

"Alec…I l-"

I heard a door open before I could get the final words out. I looked up over the couch to see the friendly Italian standing there frozen with his eyes wide and awkward.

This was really starting to piss me off.

Whenever we were interrupted it only made me angry and more horny then before! I was going to scream.

"Son. Of. A. _Bitch_." Alec hissed under his breath, reflecting my own disappointment.

I was not going to get anywhere with him.

It was hopeless.

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**Writer's Note: Ahh yes! A chapter! It didn't take us all that long to write this one...considering this is us..we think we did pretty good! We had this checked for grammer like 3 times, if there are mistakes we apologize. Thank you all for the reviews for the last chapter. You are amazing! Oh-- one question: Do any of you read our blog? If so, can you leave a comment on it so we know you've been there, cause we're starting to think a blog is pointless if no one reads it haha. **

**Anyways, the yacht we picked out has a name..its Sassy..for reals.. There is a link to a virtual tour to it on our page. Warning: Turn down the volume on your computer before doing so..the music is cheesy!! Trust us! OH! Outfits too. :D OKAY! We will take our leave now. Thanks again! And hope you enjoyed!**

**Feed me ↓**


	14. Chapter 14: The Most Sinful Pleasures

**Thank you so much for flying with InspiredInTheMoment Express. We will be arriving in Gutterland in approximately .5 minutes. Please refrain from touching your genitals and those of your fellow passengers. Thank you, and enjoy the rest of your flight.**

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**Chapter 14: The Most Sinful Pleasures**

**Alec's POV**

I was furious. Not only mentally had I been messed with, but my physical perception was screwed! I was seconds away from hearing those words. Those three simple words from the woman who taught me to be alive. To finally be the man she made me to be by making love to her, that is if she hadn't been already; and what happens? The human maggot that I allowed on this yacht came, and disrupted the physical connection that I was certain would happen today. Why does this keep happening to us? If Nez and I were ever to be together in the way that I want, I'm going to have to learn to invest in locks. Big, hefty, GIGANTIC locks! Locks that have to be unlocked to get to those locks. Because apparently, seeing Alec of the Volturi and Renesmee Cullen kiss was the highlight of everyone's existence, only this time we weren't just kissing. We were--doing something. Something that felt like heaven was settling here on earth, and a angel was coming here to bless me. Oh how heavenly she was to me. Her body so warm and over-whelming. The way she bit her lip as she turned a shade of crimson. Her body grinding against mine own. I was going to do what I've been wanting to do since the moment I met this woman, and I thought I was. I was there. I saw everything. All her curves. She was just at my finger tips and begging me!

Yes, Renesmee Cullen was a beggar, and I couldn't be more thrilled to find that little detail out about her. In fact, I straight up loved it. The way her voice sounded as she begged me, panting and harsh. So demanding, as if I didn't please her right then and there, she wouldn't be able to live. And I was about two seconds away from giving into her pleads. Reaching the climax of my control, especially when I saw her breasts before my very eyes. So creamy and full. They were the most beautiful things to ever be witnessed by me. I've seen so many, yet none of them were to this level of perfection.

Oh, I was beyond calming at this point. If someone thought I was pissed when Renesmee found how I was killed, they would be scared for their very lives and begging for mercy in the sight of God himself.

That is what Roberto should be doing this very instant. Praying.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch." I hissed, not hiding my anger. The aching in my heart and my groin were so overwhelming at the moment. I was going to hear the woman I love say she felt the same things as I did. And after, well that I can't say. Because words can not describe the things I would have done. And I'm not just talking about sex. I'm talking about torturing her with ecstasy in ways she'd never imagined, making sure she was ready for me. I would be using every single little trick I've learned and used in all years I've been around, and trust me, I've been around a long time.

But no. Once again we were interrupted; and there would be hell to pay.

It was a good thing that the back of the couch was covering Nez, because after all she was very exposed at the moment. Nonetheless, she gasped and quickly pulled my face against her chest to shield her from Roberto's humiliated eyes. Having her bare breasts in my face only brought back my memory of tasting them. The succulent shade of pink that reminded me of cotton candy. The flavor of them were indescribable. I could literally taste the blood that was flowing beneath her skin, so sweet and luscious. The skin itself was so soft, it was like silk under my tongue. Silk that was very hot. I could feel the heat radiating off of her. Her heat, it was so comforting so arousing.

This only made me all the more furious at Roberto.

"Rob!" Nez shrieked, a mixture of embarrassment and frustration in her voice.

I glared back at Roberto, hoping he was enjoying his last few seconds to live.

"I…I am sorry! I did not mean to impose! I came to speak to Signore Alec…I have food prepared for Renesmee. I sorry!" He apologized, sounding very worried, as he should be. I listened to the heartbeat, one that needed to be eliminated. I know what I said about him being immortal, and I had intended it keep that promise. But now? I really couldn't give a damn.

"Leave us, Roberto. I will speak with you in a moment." I said in a low, testy voice. If he was at all smart, he would listen to me. If he was really smart, he would abandon ship while he had the chance.

He apologized once more before scattering back into the hallway.

I looked back down Nez, who's eyes were scorching with need. Her face was red, and her heart was pounding. I didn't want to make her wait any longer. I wanted to release the tension within her, almost as much as I wanted to do the same for myself. But it seemed that right now obviously wasn't the right time. And though it pained me, emotionally and physically, I had to pull away from her. Again.

"I have to go see what he wants."

A pained look spread across her face. She shook her head, her eyebrows locked together.

"No…no you're not going anywhere." She said, grabbing onto my biceps, her posture screaming of need. How would I be able to say no to this? She was so damn irresistible.

"You really, really need to learn patience." I grumbled, and with a groan I got up off of her. Her protests were admirable, but I was stronger. Or at least I thought I was. She had no idea how much I just wanted to have her, right there. Without a care. But I needed to take care of Roberto, I was still debating on what I was going to do with that one. Part of me wanted to rip off his head, but another part realized if I did so Nez might not be in the mood anymore. Dead people I think are a put off for her.

Though my doubts of her strength were crumbled when she pulled me back on top of her. My erection brushed up against her own pubic area. I was surprised at how forceful and strong she was. My mind instantly wondered how much this woman could really take. She was fragile in my mind, but obviously she wasn't as delicate as she seemed to be at times. I moaned deep in my throat as I continued to think about making love to her. If I could cry, I think I would. I needed her.

"Stay." She commanded, her open mouth pressed up against my own. I could taste her hot breath. It was mouth watering. She was just so appetizing. I never really lusted after her blood, which surprised me. I mean, after all she was half human. But her blood didn't really cause that dry feeling in my throat. But now, venom flowed through my mouth, so much so that I had to swallow it back. I had to swallow it all back.

"I wish I could." I whispered back, and somehow found myself moving -once again- away from her. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I'll be back in a moment. Then we can finish…" I trailed off, letting her mind wander. She made a small sound, then started fixing her dress. I suppose she was going to be all of a sudden shy of my eyes, but I still couldn't help but catch one more glance of her breasts before she pulled the useless fabric back over them.

"Who says I'd want to finish?" She retorted, looking away from me in sulkiness.

I smiled softly and shook my head. She was never going to learn, was she? I wasn't bashful about how I felt about her, in any sense. I loved her; this she knew. I wanted her; she definitely knew that. I didn't understand why she felt the need to keep the way she felt away from me.

Oh yeah, because Roberto came in and screwed everything up!

Suddenly I was extremely pissed again.

"Oh, you'll want to. If I recall, you insist upon it." I purred, remembering the way she sounded when she pleaded with me to take her nipple in my mouth.

Her eyes narrowed. I had to leave. If I didn't leave her right there and then, I would forget about that whatever his name was and just attack her. Not that she would complain.

With one more smirk, I ran out of the room. It was a relief to be out of her presence. Her scent was beginning to overtake me. Her body, her breath, her arousal, all combined to make a gorgeous, feminine fragrance that made me want to scream.

I made my way up the captain's cabin, vengeance waving through my system.

_Don't kill him. Don't kill him._

Roberto jumped off of bed upon seeing me stomp in. He had every right to be frightened of me. I'd known this man almost his whole life. His mother worked for the Volturi as well, though she didn't make it as an immortal, as most of them don't. Roberto never found out about how his mother died, though. We kept that from him. At the age of twenty-three, he started doing errands for us, and never stopped doing so. I found out about his condition a few years back, ever since then he's been more insistent about helping us in any way he could. When I called on him for this task, he was more than happy to oblige. I really had meant what I said, I did intend to speak to Aro about him. He was a good man, or at least as good as any human could be. But I still couldn't help but be furious at him for intruding on mine and Nez's moment. That was all I thought about at the moment. Every deed he's ever done with my coven went straight out the windows, as should his ass.

"What was so important that you had to barge in unexpected?" I snapped in Italian, not wanting to beat around the bush.

The man looked like he was filled with extreme guilt and I smirked with pleasure. If I was going to be uncomfortable, so shall he.

"I'm very sorry, Mr. Alec. I was only wanting to speak with you to tell you that we are arriving in Palermo, Sicily tomorrow morning." He explained in his native tongue. I could see little beads of sweat forming on his face as I walked closer to him. A hiss escaping my mouth. He really shouldn't have spoke, because now I was even more livid.

He was only going to tell me that we were arriving to my hometown in the morning. Fabulous. As if I didn't already know this. As if I didn't bring Nez onto this yacht for that specific reason, to show her where I grew up. To give her all the answers she wanted to know about me. I didn't tell her our destination before because I wanted to keep it a secret, to surprise her. I wasn't exactly sure what her reaction would be once she found out, however, I was hoping she'd be pleased, well at least as pleased as someone can be when another person takes them to the place they were betrayed and killed. I knew that this trip wasn't going to be pleasant all the way through. I didn't know how I was going to feel once we got there. It had been over four-hundred years since I had been in Palermo, the beautiful city and highlight of Sicily. Jane didn't know I was coming back here. Jane didn't really know anything, neither did anyone else. The only people who knew of this getaway was Felix and Heidi, and they swore to me that they would keep it to themselves as long as they could, though they didn't know the destination. I knew that there was a huge possibility of us getting tracked down. In fact, I knew it was possible. Demitri; it would be no trouble for him at all to sniff us out. The only reason I could think of why Aro would stop them from coming after us is that he probably would think this would be a good opportunity for me to progress in my mission. That obtuse task. I had almost forgotten about it. But I couldn't think about that now, I still had Roberto to deal with. Then I had to seek out Nez and apologize to her a million times over. This was not my night for luck, was it?

I sighed, and closed my eyes. I truly didn't want to have to hurt Roberto. But he was just making it so simple to want to. He didn't have to tell me something that I was already quite well aware of. Why must he nag me? Was I no longer intimidating? Had I really lost my touch? Had Nez really made me that soft?

I shook my head.

"That was very unwise, Roberto. You knew better than to disturb us." I warned, bearing my eyes into his own. He gulped, and looked down.

"I apologize. I wasn't thinking. Please…" He looked back up at me, true genuine fear in his face. I felt proud to see it. I wanted him to squirm in his worries. But somehow, I didn't have the will to kill him. Not with Renesmee onboard, at least. Like I said before, it wasn't exactly something that would turn her on, it would disgust her, and most likely make her afraid of me. I didn't want her to fear me; like everyone else in the world.

I placed my hand on Roberto's shoulder and gripped my nails into his skin. The minute I touched him his eyes closed shut, his body started trembling, as if he was waiting for me to snap his neck or bite him. I was tempted to do both. But I had more important things to think about, such as Nez and her lovely breasts.

"Count your blessings that there is a angel of mercy on this yacht. Now, if you will excuse me…" I said softly as he peeked an eye open, his heart was still ecstatic. I took a step back and stopped at the door, looking over my shoulder. "Why don't you retire for the night. Do _not_ intrude on us again, no matter what you might hear. Is that in any way unclear?"

"Its clear." He said immediately. I nodded once more before walking back out into the hall and slamming the door a bit harshly, bringing the knob with me as it closed.

"Damn it." I hissed under my breath, and sped up the stairs and into the kitchen, where I slammed the doorknob onto the counter.

Once I made it back to the living room, I was leaning against the door post to witness Nez putting back on her bra and pulling up her dress. I frowned at the sight.

I dimmed the lights where I stood, as I saw her head pop up with confusion. She turned around and her eyes greeted me; I licked my lips in response.

"I don't think I remember telling you that you could get dressed."

"I don't remember you telling me to stay undressed, either." She mumbled, her cheeks turning a dark shade of red.

I pushed myself off the wall and made my way towards her. The next thing I knew my lips were on hers, kissing her urgently, as her body found its way back onto the couch.

She laughed and shook her head, pressing her hand against my chest to push me back a little.

"You really think that I'm in the mood now?" She asked, as I lingered kisses down her warm cheek. She tasted delectable against my lips; her pulse quickening underneath my tongue.

"I can be very persuasive when I want to be…"

Nez then quickly pushed me aside so that I was now sitting in the corner of the couch; the pillows arching my back behind me. Then, she took me by surprise by climbing onto my lap, and threw her left leg around so that she was straddling me. She used my thighs to prop her hands up, and she smiled seductively at me, a evil gleam in her eyes. I stopped breathing, unable to function or think. All I could see and feel and smell was _her. _Nothing more existed; not with her sitting on me like this when her dress was hiking up all the way to her hips. She was so beautiful, so perfect. No beauty in the world could ever compare to her. Not when she was like this; so bold and daring. I could feel myself hardening under the fabric of my pants, and I'm pretty sure she could too because she just smirked.

She leaned in; as her hands tangled themselves in my hair.

"So can I, but I'm not going to say what you want me to say just to get laid. It has to be on my terms." She said smoothly, her voice sounding like velvet in my ear. Her hot breath was practically melting me away as she ever so slowly started to flick out her tongue on my neck. My hands instantly were gripping onto the warm skin of her thighs, unintentionally gently digging my nails into them. As if instinct, she grinded herself into my pelvis; which only my need for her grow even more. So much so that a groan escaped my mouth. It never occurred to me that she could be like this. So experienced, and what terms she meant? I had no idea. I wasn't willing to subside my wishes for hers, though.

I wanted to hear those words. I wanted to hear them more than anything I've wanted in my entire existence. I don't know what it was like for her, but with me being a vampire plus a Volturi, we don't hear them very often.

"Then why are you doing…this?" I asked, raising a strained eyebrow as she looked up at me, biting her lower lip.

"You've practically seen all of me…" She began, slowly trailing her hands down my torso which was still exposed from the earlier encounter. "Now its my turn." She said in a half moan.

My body tensed up when she started planting kisses from my chin all the way down to my chest. I found myself moving her hair out of her face, so she didn't have the slightest delay in her mission. Because I was wanting this more than anything. What _this _was, I still wasn't entirely aware, but I could come up with a million things I wanted her to be doing. All involving her lips on my body.

As her mouth continued its tour down my body, it came to an abrupt holt right at the edge of my nipple. I closed my eyes and threw my head back when she actually licked my nipple, demolishing it with her tongue. It really brought me over the edge when I felt her teeth tug at it, and I couldn't help but to pull her closer to my body.

"You like that?" She whispered, as she took the other one into her mouth. She had no idea how much I did. It felt very warm, and wet, and completely mind blowing. I had never thought something as simple as this could feel so good. I've had things done to me before, but with her it was ten times more amazing. As she played with the abandoned nipple for a few moments and when I thought it couldn't get any better than this, I felt her body tremble on top of mine, then I felt her do something I had least expected.

Her hands found the buckle of my pants, as she nervously started to undo them, my head shot up in realization of where she was going. My body jolted with life at once, on alert.

I looked down at her, my eyes wide and amazed. She slowly looked up at me through her lashes, looking very shy all of the sudden. I gripped her hands in mine, keeping them from going any farther. Because if I let them move a friction more, I wouldn't be able to stop her.

"What are you doing? I thought you said-"

She stopped me from finishing my placing a finger over my mouth, rubbing my cheek softly.

"You teased me…I just want to return the favor."

She was a bad, bad girl. But genius nonetheless.

"But-"

She hushed be with her lips. She literally bit down on my lower lip, tugging at it gently then easing her tongue into my mouth. My head was gone, once again I really couldn't form a thought except to my instincts to remove the unwanted fabric, spread her legs and nestle myself up in between them, making her scream in the process. Oh, how I wanted her to scream for me, I couldn't imagine the damage I would do to her body, had I the chance.

Actually, I would do it now, but the look on her face when she pulled away from my lips told me I'd be in serious trouble if I did. Though a part of me didn't care. I wanted to enjoy whatever she was willing to do to me.

Nez's eyes darted back down to the zipper of my pants, and she began to unzip them, instructing me to lift my hips. I helped willingly and without complaint. In fact, the more she removed the clothes the more happy I became, and the more I was starting to throb with desire. I could feel the venom swimming through my veins; it was beginning to swell in my mouth. Once again, I had to swallow it back.

With my pants finally gone, and the only thing left being my boxers, I closed my eyes and inhaled, preparing myself for what was about to take place. She tucked her thumbs on the inside of the band of my underwear, and with her heart pounding to fast and so hard, she slowly removed them. The feeling of being free and exposed to her was liberating.

The next thing I heard was a gasp. I opened my eyes to see her own wide and awed as she stared down at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked urgently, wondering if this was all too much too soon. I didn't want to frighten her, but in my defense she was the one who started all of this. She must have expected that I would be hard, hadn't she?

When she didn't reply, I tilted her head up to face mine. Her eyes glittered with shock mixed in with excitement. That was a good sign, I suppose, her being excited. And in turn, got me quite excited as well that I could stir that up.

"I've just never seen…"

"Not even-"

"Never."

_I guess that means she's never slept with someone before. The long awaited question in my head is finally answered. _

She was a virgin. Untouched. Inexperienced.

And somehow, this information caused me to be more aroused than before. No matter how long she lived, or how far apart we were, she would always know that I was the first she had ever witnessed. And if we did go any further, I would her first. _Ever._

That fact alone sent chills down my spine. I wanted this to be good for her. For her to feel comforted and at ease. To be special.

"If you don't want to…don't do it."

"I'm just afraid I might do it wrong."

"That's impossible. It already feels so right." I answered her as she smiled shyly.

She placed her left hand on my shoulder, as if to steady herself. And ever so slowly, she put her other hand and encircled it around me whole.

I hissed once again as my body buckled underneath her. Just her hand touching me, was unbelievable. So warm and smooth against my shaft. I was going to go mad.

"Look at me…" I instructed her, my voice not sounding like my own. It was a mixture of a whisper and a croak.

She moved her head back up so that her face was inches from mine, and I could feel the her harsh breath going in and out. The pulse in her neck rushing to the surface of her transparent skin. Nez licked her lips and took a deep breath, and began to stroke me.

The first one was slow, as if she was familiarizing herself with it. Then the following strokes began to get more paced, and the more she did so, the more I couldn't hold back anything. It was like I didn't have control over my own mouth.

"_Oh, fottere, Renesmee_!" I cursed in Italian, not caring who heard me or not. My eyes were rolling into the back of my head as I felt Renesmee's legs tense up. All I wanted to do was have her go faster, and faster. And as if she read my mind, she obliged.

It felt so good, so indescribably good. Far too wonderful to be true. It wasn't that I had never felt like this before, but it was the fact that it was _her. _She made all the difference in the world.

"Should I go faster?" She breathed. I couldn't even contain a single thought or rather the motor functions to just look at her. All I could concentrate was her hand on me.

When I didn't answer, she gripped onto my shoulder and pulled me forward to cause my very erect penis to the inside of her legs as she grinded. The only thing separating us was the thin piece of material of her panties, panties that were completely damp. I groaned at the discovery. Loud and in echoes that matched her own.

Without giving me a chance to answer her question, she went ahead and sped up her movements to a more erratic level. I couldn't be more pleased. I found myself moaning out uncontrollably while I gripped onto the sides of her waist. The dress was in my way, of course. Which only caused me irritation. So, I simply ripped it and the seam so I could move my hands up to explore her back, without regret. She was so warm, practically boiling at my fingertips. Each time our sex's brushed up against each other, I was reminded of just how much I wanted to be inside her. I was so close, yet so far away. I wanted to consume her; to feel her around me. I wanted to surround myself in that warmth, and make her feel what she was making me feel. But by the expression on her face, she looked as though she was feeling just as good as I was.

"Oh, god…Alec. This feels so good. I want you so badly. Here." She moaned pulling me closer to her entrance. I gritted my teeth together, as she gripped me tighter, brushing her thumb against my tip.

I loved her so much.

I was just about to forget about the whole I love you thing and dig myself in and show her how much it didn't matter. This was until I realized I was about to reach my climax and come. Why did I get myself into this? My mind set was doing a completely one-eighty from just moments before.

This isn't right. I loved her, I said the words. And yet she hasn't replied the favor, as far as I was concerned she didn't love me. And all of this was ending up to be just like one of the other one night stands, and as odd as that is for me, I don't want that. I didn't want a good screwing, I wanted to make love to her. I hadn't made love to anyone in a long time, sure I've had sex, but nothing as special as this. Not since Adeline. I hadn't thought of her in centuries, and Renesmee was nowhere like her. I wasn't going to make that happen again.

With all my strength and will, I somehow managed to grip her hand and stop her.

"No. Not like this. Not until you say it." I choked out before gripping her waist and lifting her up off of me. I could see how confused and slightly hurt she was by the look she had on her face, her eyebrows forming together by my departure, and a part of me felt very guilty for that fact, but this wasn't the right time for this. If she couldn't admit to me how she felt, then I wasn't going to allow myself to give in to her. She had to give me something to work off of.

I heard her say my name desperately as I ran out in vampire speed and rushed to my room. With each stride I ran away from her, the ache in my pants -which were now on again- grew more and more. It was to the point of excruciating. And the memory of her touching me only made it worse. I couldn't get it out of my mind.

I had to take care of the matter myself, and as much as I hated it, it needed to be done.

Once I got to my room I slammed the door behind me and walked into the bathroom, not believing what I was about to do.

Walking in front of my mirror, I placed one hand against it and the other unzipped my pants and juvenilely I began to stroke myself, with visions of her in my mind. I didn't care where I was standing. I had to do it now, to continue on where she had left off.

I imagined her breasts, the way they tasted in my mouth. Soft and velvety and sweet. The way she would feel from the inside, hot and tight. So tight she would be suffocating me, swallowing me whole. Yes, indeed she would be tight, I knew that now. And with that knowledge, I slammed my fist into the mirror, causing a giant crack to appear.

I was so close.

One more thought was all I needed to carry me over the edge and officially into the gutter.

How she would taste. _Her. _Salty and full on woman. The hot, wet cum filling my mouth, while she screamed my name countless times.

_There…_

It didn't take me long after that. In fact, I'm surprised I didn't get any on my hands and how quick this process took me. But regardless, I felt disgusting yet at the same time satisfied, enough anyway. What would be completely satisfying would be having Nez with me, and releasing to her. But that's not happening, not yet at least. And though I felt like my animal instincts were more and more apparent around her lately, I did have a head on my shoulders. I was doing the right thing.

I quickly grabbed a towel and cleaned up the mess I made, put on a new pair of pants I had laid out, and as I washed my hands and face, I tried to drown my thoughts in the cold water.

That's when I heard the a knock on the bedroom door. It was her.

I made sure all the evidence was collected before I walked into the bedroom to greet her, because quite frankly I was ashamed of what I did. Its not like I'm fifteen years old after all.

Hearing the doorknob turn, I froze in my fear as she let herself in. The rip in her dress that I created was still intact, I smiled at my handy work.

She, on the other hand, was not smiling. In fact she was quite pissed.

"Nez-"

"What the hell was that all about!? Was I not doing it right? Because I thought I was, you sure acted like it! You were screaming in Italian, for crying out loud! But no, you just…" She stopped herself, her head tilted back slightly, and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She looked as though she was having an orgasm herself, and quite frankly I found myself drawn like a moth to a flame. Her mouth parted, and she inhaled deeply. She looked so damn kissable. As impossible as it sounded, the lower part of me was enjoying the view as well, showing his ugly head again.

_Damn it!_

"What…what is that…smell? Its…"

_Shit. She knows. I'm busted. Perfect._

And worst part is, I think she actually enjoyed the scent, which only made me all the more aroused. Damn her vampire senses. Damn Edward, because he is the reason why! Its not enough just to be humiliated by the deed, now she has to smell the evidence and take pleasure in its scent! Could I not catch a break?

"Its what?" I asked stupidly, because apparently I liked the torture.

She shook her head, trying to avoid the question at hand.

Hand being the proper word for the situation.

_Oh Jeez._

"What were you doing in here?" she asked putting her hands on her hip and started to walk across the room, passing me as I just stood there, trying to come up with a solution. My mind was coming up with nothing. I didn't want to lie to her, but truth be told I didn't want to give her the full on details of how I had to take care of my own junk personally. It's not the greatest bed time story after all. In fact I wouldn't count nightmares out if I did. Then again how would I know? Knowing Nez and the mood she's in tonight. She might actually have wet dreams.

God. Can I be anymore of a child tonight?

Apparently not.

Seeing Nez look around the room, I looked down to make sure I was dry, and noticed that my shirt was still unbuttoned and my pants unzipped. I guess I was in too much of a hurry to even care, as I started to fix myself thinking how if someone saw me they wouldn't even think I was a high-respected Volturi guard member at all, but rather a horny newborn nomad with no self-respect what so ever. Who would of thought. Once I got the first two buttons done, I felt the pressure of Nez's gaze on my face. I looked up shaking my head as she motioned to the bathroom.

"What the---What the heck did you do Alec? The Mirror?"

I bit my bottom lip and looked down at my feet. Reaching for my pants and quickly zipped up. I mean I figured that would pretty much explain everything right?

Nez gasped.

"I finished it." I reassured her as I raised my eyebrows. Nez's hand found it's way to her mouth as she moved away from the bathroom door. Indeed there will be nightmares tonight for her. I felt like scum.

"That's--That's what it was? The smell?"

I smiled bitterly, because there's no point in hiding this now. It happened. She knows. The least I could do is be a man about it.

"You..Oh my g--You came…TO YOURSELF?!"

"Nez--"

"What if I wanted you to do that with me? Huh?! ..I mean you would rather get off on yourself then me, is that right?"

"I want to hear you say you--"

"Oh please!" she hollered. Stumping towards me, her hands running through her hair roughly as if she was going to pull the strands out one by one. I wouldn't blame her if she did. If it was me, I think I'd be a little upset myself. But I had no choice. It had to be done, and those words were becoming more important to me then anything else. It's like I'd die if I didn't I hear them. I guess that's because I've never actually heard them before. At least not that I can remember. I believe it might have been once, but the memory is nothing but a blur to me. So I hardly think that counts. And even if it did, I want those words to come out of her mouth. I don't think that's so bad.

It's understandable.

After a moment of inhaling and trying to catch her breath, Nez turned and glared at me. Her hands hugging herself. As if she was being modest all of a sudden.

"Alec, I want to know what is going through that mind of yours. I mean is it so hard to believe that I don't want to trade sex in for three simple words?"

"Simple?""Yes! Wait--No. they're not--"

"I'm sorry if you think that this is just some game, Renesmee, but I happen to think those words mean a lot. But I guess you wouldn't understand, you hear those words what? Every five minutes? It figures you'd think they wouldn't mean anything."

She gritted her teeth together and shook her head, throwing her hands in the air as she fumed.

"And you accuse me of being childish."

"Well you are. This is a adult situation, Nez, I mean if you can't handle it--"

"Don't go there. Don't presume what I can and can't handle okay? I'm sorry if I'm not jumping at the chance to scream it at you, but the truth is--""What? What's the truth, Renesmee?" I yelled, stepping closer to her, a hiss breaking through my chest. I was officially fed up. With everything! It took everything I had to not say the hell with it and get myself another room because then I would be alone with my thoughts. Seeing as how I was only who cared about them. The tension in the room made me want to scream. I don't know how but I became very aware that Renesmee was inches from my face. Her lips looking very, very inviting as she pouted.

I didn't expect her to say anymore, and I wasn't going to stick around while she decided on what she was going to do. With a roll to my eyes, I waved my hands in the air and walked past her, getting out of that room.

"Because I'm not use to being in love."

I stopped in my tracks, and just stood there for a moment, trying to absorb what she said and if she was telling the truth. I could understand, it wasn't exactly like I threw the words around to every chick I slept with. I mean, the only reason I said it in the first place was because I was forced; but I meant it. And it felt freeing, I just hoped that when she did say it she would feel free too.

In love. Its not exactly saying to directly, but its something. Its more than I had before.

Okay, I'm going to be a man about this, because if I forced it out of her, it wouldn't actually mean anything at all. I didn't exactly want that so, I'll give in and wait.

Turning to her, I gave her my favorite smirk, because in reality this awkward moment was killing me, and pathetically smirking was all I could come up with.

She just rolled her eyes at me.

"Are you enjoying this? My misery?" She asked, running her hand through her hair.

I just simply shook my head.

"Is it miserable to admit to something like that?"

Nez walked to me, and put her hands on my chest sighing deeply.

"No. Though I will tell you it was pure misery when you walked out on me like that…" She said truthfully. Guilt was crashing into me like waves. I wanted it to be so special for her, and what did I do? I completely bolted. Yeah, I bet she was at total ease and was beaming with confidence.

I am an ass. Last thing I wanted to do was make her uncomfortable about herself. I ruined everything, that was obvious. If she only knew how she made me feel, though. If she could only see what she was doing to me. How was I ever going to convince her?

I pressed my lips to her forehead and whimpered, inhaling her scent. She was so oblivious to her perfection, wasn't she? Foolish girl, did she really believe that I would prefer myself over her? If I wanted myself in that way -heaven help me- I would have been quite content with my existence. Alone. But I didn't want to be lonely. I wanted to be with her. Even if it was for a short period of time. Because according to he future, there was a blind spot. In that blind spot I saw Aro; his selfishness and his greed. He's what would really stand between us in the end. Just the thought made my guilt increase.

I guess my face showed my guilt because she had a questioning look on her face.

"What's wrong? What are you thinking about?"

Oh, how much I wanted to tell her the truth. About the plan, and how despite everything I did fall in love with her. But if I told her, I knew what would happen. I would hurt her, even more than I am now. And if I didn't tell her, eventually everything will come out and be so much worse. Because sooner or later, it was bound to slip. She wasn't going to be here all that much longer, and things would get hectic with Aro waiting for me to fulfill his wish. That's another point against me. I wanted her so badly; and when and if she says she loves me there will be no reason for me to turn her down. And maybe my need will overpower my moral status. But I know that if I did, it would make matters worse.

Feeling her looking at me, I decided tonight would not be the night to tell her. This trip in general wasn't the right time. Then again, there really was no right time to tell someone they're being seduced for their power. I'm such a shit.

How do I do this? How do I tell her the truth but convince her that I love her?

There is no way. I was doomed.

"Alec…" I heard her breath, as she cupped my face with her overly-warm hands, Caressing my cheeks with her thumbs. I avoided eye contact because I was trying to control where my thoughts were leading, not only that but if I looked at her long enough, two things would happen. One, I spill the beans and she hates me, or two, we kiss and it will lead to countless unmentionables, all adding up to her hating me later on.

I was doing pretty good at avoiding her too. Until I felt her pull my face closer to hers, forcing me to give her eye contact.

Her beautiful doe brown eyes had a speck of light surrounding them, so pure and surreal. I've never seen eyes like Renesmee Cullen's. They were so capturing that I had to force myself to breathe.

"You can tell me anything you know. You wont hurt my feelings." I realize now, she thought I didn't enjoy the hand-job she'd given me. Like it was bad or something. The idea of that was baffling.

Her bad? Ha!

"No, no. Nez, you were-you gave me the most amazing pleasure I…I've ever experienced in all the years I've lived. It was…unnerving on how well you did, actually. So beautiful and bold. It was damn right the sexiest thing I've ever encountered. So sexy that I broke the mirror by thoughts of you."

Nez bit her lip and the corner of her mouth turned upward. I was glad I can evoke such pride in her. I wanted her to be happy, whatever it takes. It's my new mission in my long time for now on.

"Really?"

I nodded confidently as she leaned her forehead against mine.

"I love you, Nez. I know I might come off as a complete waste but-"

She kissed me before I got the chance to finish what I was saying, and I was more then glad. Her hands gripping around the nave my neck, pushing me closer to her face, my own tilting her head up for a better angle.

It was a sweet kiss. Not like the ones before but it gave off the same effect. Her mouth soft and sensual. I could hear her heart pounding rapidly against her chest, while our lips danced with one another in slow movements. Her warm beasts pressured up against my cold hard body felt divine, and when she parted, my reflexes were telling me to pull her in for a longer session. But I denied that wish.

"You have no idea what it feels like for me to hear you say that, Alec. Back on my birthday I-"

"I'm so sorry about that, Nez. It was unfair of me too-""No, let me finish. I know why you wanted to pretend that our feelings for each other didn't matter. It's because of Aro isn't it? Your scared?"

I closed my eyes and nodded. She had no idea how truly scared I was. Not for my life, because in all honesty, I'm suppose to be dead, but her life? She was one of the few creatures in this world that were meant to live beyond death. I really did believe that, and not because I loved her but because she was too rare of a being to die. What with her spirit and beauty and just her mere soul.

"I understand that. But I want you to know that despite the unhappy ending that awaits us, every minute that I spend with you is worth the sacrifice."

I was speechless. Truly and unfoundedly stunned. Did she really just say what I think she just said? That I was worth death? That the little time we did have for each other was worth her life alone? Worth her family?

Everything?

No one in all my life as ever said I was worth anything and I couldn't help but feel joy and anger at the same time. How dare she think about her death! She was going to live, if I had anything say on the matter and I'd make sure that I did. She was not going to die because of me. Because of us. I was after all one of the most infamous vampires in the world, and if anyone thinks of touching her, I'd kill every one of them, slowly and painfully and I would enjoy it. Oh the anger. Not to mention the sear guilt that just keeps pounding on and on. She was willing to die for me and here I was being Aro's tool to making her stay in Italy forever?

I now know. She would stay if I asked her too. She would stay and be miserable for the sake of love.

This just keeps getting worse and worse for me.

"Nez, I-""Shhhh..I..I want a favor." She whispered, with two fingers lingering on my lips, a second or two, making me halt.

I looked at her completely puzzled when she took my hands in hers, and pulled me towards my bed.

Normally one would wonder if she trying to sleep with me, but her whole demeanor was to off for that. Instead she wished for something a little more practical.

"I want to know what it's like to fall asleep in your arms, and to wake up and see your face first thing." She said, not making it into a question what so ever. I blinked for a moment and without a word.

I slowly walked over to turn off the lights, then to the cotton sheets that I had no need of, and pulled back the comforter gently. Feeling her eyes on me, I gave her a forced smile and she walked over to my bag and pulled out one of my button down shirts, which was way to big for her, but I believed that was the point.

I turned around, because if I saw her naked, there's no reason to believe that I wouldn't jump her. In fact, knowing that she was naked in my room just feet away from my grasp was killing me and it took everything I had not to go and touch her. Once I knew she was in the clearing and dressed, I looked around to see her in the bed, the cream colored blanket covering her all the way to her chest, which was slightly revealed.

Having her in my bed, regardless if I actually slept in it or not did things to me that I can't actually explain. It made me feel proud, and happy. Which is funny, because I hadn't felt the emotion in some time. Not since my human years.

"You look good, laying in my bed." I admitted as she blushed. I smirked down at my feet as I removed my shirt and shoes, and only those items. Once I was in the bed, I grabbed Renesmee by the waist and pulled her so that her body was curved with mine. My cheek against hers.

"Goodnight, Alec…" She said breathlessly, as I saw her eyes close. I could tell her mind was becoming further and further away from me

It didn't take as long as I thought it would for her to fall heavily into sleep. She was sleeping so hard, that at one point in the night I could of swore she was snoring.

It was probably one of the most relaxing sounds, which is odd considering snoring is suppose to be obnoxious and annoying. But not hers. She was like an angel, peaceful and sweet.

I guess that would make me a demon, secretive and evil. It works because I had the glowing red eyes and everything. What the hell did she see in me?

Laying there in the dark with her, I began to realize what everyone meant when they talked about love. I use to think it was a myth, pointless and complicated. Now?

Well, now I was in way over my head.

---

The hours passed very quickly. I had found myself at times tempted to wake her up. Every so often I'd look to see if her eyes would flutter open; they hadn't. So when the sun finally started to rise I felt myself getting more excited for morning than most. Because the truth was I was kind of getting bored. Not because I had to watch her sleep, it was the fact that she was sleeping. Meaning I couldn't talk to her. I had a strong urge to talk to her, I wanted to talk to her every chance I got. I didn't want to waste our moments together. When I finally felt her stir next to me, I practically bombarded her.

In a fast motion I climbed on top of her and kissed both her cheeks, smiling softly against them.

"Hey, you. Wake up." I said, feeling like a young boy on Christmas trying to wake up his parents to go unwrap presents. It was like I couldn't get her out of bed fast enough.

Her eyes fluttered open and she frowned at me, making a small noise.

"Get of me." She said bluntly. I tried not to laugh, but I simply couldn't hold it back. She was not a morning person. I was already aware of this, but I had never really been this up close and personal to her wrath.

I grinned and pretended to think about her comment for a moment, then trailed my hands up her outer thighs and her hips. Her eyes went from closed to wide when I almost tickled the sides of her waist. I lowered my face a few inches from hers.

"Are you sure?" I breathed, hearing her own breath hitch. Like clockwork she bit her lower lip, and her heart picked up pace. But then a small smile formed on her full lips, as if to accept my offer.

"You've convinced me."

She tried to pull me down closer to her, as if to have me lay on top of her. Nez tried desperately to pull my head down, but I only laughed again, amused by her attempts.

"No, you were right. It was rude of me to suggest such a thing this early in the morning," I said, nodding my head. Her eyes narrowed, obviously angry at my teasing her. But it was so easy, I couldn't resist playing with her. And how else was I going to get her out of bed? I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers, and pulled back with a smirk. "My apologies, Nez."

I got up from on top of her and went over to my bag. I could hear her scoff from where I was standing; I guess I couldn't blame her. I'll admit, it was quite mean. But in all honestly, if I really thought about it, she did deserve it. Maybe not because of last night, but because of that stupid event in the club. I hadn't forgotten how she made me feel. How she had teased me to no end. All of it was clear in my mind.

"So where are we going?"

I turned around and raised an eyebrow at her. Nez's lips were pursed in a snotty manner, like she was trying to forget about what just happened. I knew better.

"Guess."

"We both know that I'm not good at the guessing game."

"I remember it like it were yesterday."

"Good. Then you know that I'd rather just get to the point." She snapped, and folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

I sighed, figuring now was probably a good time to finally tell her where we were going. She had a right to know. I couldn't keep her in the dark forever, as much as I'd like to. But I was the one who decided to drag her out here, so the least I could do was inform her to where we would be arriving. After all, I wasn't barbaric; this wasn't a kidnapping.

I was composed and responsible.

Most days.

I just didn't want her to get uncomfortable with the idea of going to my home. I would be uncomfortable for the both of us. Perhaps it was foolish returning but I felt it was something I needed to do. Not only so I could let her know more about me, but for myself in general. I hadn't been to Palermo since that day. I've passed it a few times, but had never gone out of my way to make a visit. Too many bad memories. I knew Jane would have a fit if she knew. But then again it didn't really take a lot for Jane to throw a fit. Someone could blink the wrong way and she would attack. But that was my sister.

Hostile and cruel.

"We're going home." I informed her simply, shrugging like it was just a field trip.

Nez's eyebrows pulled together in a confused fashion.

"Home? What do you mean, home?"

"I mean my home, Nez. Where I was raised…" I rephrased, my voice sounding very vulnerable for some reason. More vulnerable that I would've preferred. I didn't want this outing to effect me. But I knew that wouldn't be the case. Deep down, I was scared of going back there. I knew nothing would be able to hurt me, that was impossible. I was afraid of the images that would come back. I don't remember all the specifics about Palermo, its been a very long time. Plus human memories fade. But I think when I go back, and see everything again, all fresh in my mind, it'll all come rushing back.

Father. Mama. Adeline. The scenery. Everything just was painful -if not more- as it was four hundred plus years ago.

For the first time in a long time, I felt sick.

Renesmee's eyes turned tender and aware. She once again bit her bottom lip nervously.

"Oh…but I don't understand. Why?" She asked innocently, shaking her head.

Sweet girl. She was too good for me.

I slowly sat down behind her on the bed and wrapped my arms around her waits, having her back pressed against my chest. I kissed her head and inhaled the scent of her hair as she wrapped her own arms around mine. It was such a natural thing, the two of us. It wasn't a forced movement it just was. There was more to us than sexual chemistry. If I ever doubted that, this moment was here to prove me wrong. I've never done this with someone. Usually when I slept with someone, there was no cuddling involved. We both just went our separate ways. Yet, I hadn't slept with Nez yet, and I already felt so much more intimate than I ever did with any of those other women.

I could feel her heart beat against my own dead one, as if to give it life again. But she had done that some time ago, ever since the time I saw her glow in the sunlight on that morning on top of the roof. She was revealing herself to me, as I had to her. Or at least that was what she said to me at the time. And I believe it to be true now. I saw her soul that day. As for mine? She saw something. Not quite sure what I had is what you could say is a soul, but there is something underneath my surface. And it reflected with her own.

"Because, I want you to see everything. And if I don't do this today, then there might not be a chance for me to do it later."

"You make it sound like there's death in the near future."

"No one is going to die, Renesmee." I reassured her, as I gripped onto her tighter to make sure she got the point. Her body went limp in my arms, and she relaxed against me, leaning her head back onto my chest. We made a perfect match. Which is extremely ironic, looking at the circumstances. She was born to be a spoiled princess, and I am nothing but a lackey. A shadow within my sister's footsteps; I bounced off her glory and favor. I'm use to it, of course. Jane stood out, where as I just kind of blended in. I didn't really notice it until recently though, which was why I was so use to it. It was just how things were, but now? Everything was so different. I felt stronger and more bold. Believe it or not I think she was the reason. She boosted a confidence inside of me.

"I don't want you to go back there if its going to hurt you."

I smirked at the irony of this.

"Well, I'm afraid it's a bit too late for that, because I believe we just arrived."

* * *

**Writer's Note: Yay! A chapter! Hope you like! Thank you for all the reviews, we've now reached 300 which is very flattering. **

**To Caro, you have a little note on our blog. Go check it out ;) ( Don't worry, we're not stalking you. ) **

**If you review, you get shirtless Alec ( because we all know you want that ) and Girl-Scout Cookies!! ( WE GOT SOME TODAY! YUMM!! ) **

**Also, see the Eclipse trailer? See Alec for that millisecond?? Awesome!! Anyways, gotta run, watching Supernatural for our other obsession. Dean beckons us ;) Caio!!**


	15. Chapter 15: The Moment I Saw You Cry

**Chapter 15: The Moment I Saw You Cry**

**Renesmee's POV**

I'm officially bipolar. I think some of Alec's mental damage, in our short period of time together, has rubbed off on me. I mean, all of the sudden I'm wanting to wait to say I love him because I don't want it to be all about sex? When I was the one who was imagining him going down on me and screaming to go in deeper? Not to mention that I was the one to give him a freaking hand job! Where the hell did that come from? I mean, there I was straddling him, and it just came naturally. And when Alec moaned in Italian, I swear I felt like I could conquer the world. Just by knowing I could drive him over the edge. It took everything I had not to do more to him. It was so liberating, so bold, and so not me. It was like I was a completely different person. Someone who actually knew what they were doing.

Alec made me feel that way, he made me feel stronger and more like an actual woman. At home, I was the baby; everyone's little girl that they could love and spoil. And as much as I loved my family and was glad that they cared, I guess I was ready for something different. I didn't want to be babied all my existence, and I was starting to feel like now was that time to set the record straight.

Alec was kind to me, but he didn't treat me like a child. And I certainly didn't feel like a child when I was with him. I was someone different around him. I was someone everyone back home had no clue about. I was changing; I'd known it for a while, but now? I definitely realized it. Maybe it was the events of last night that made me wake up and smell the coffee, I don't know. But I did know that I wasn't as innocent as I thought I was.

Crap, what is happening to me?

Sitting there in Alec's arms was comforting and I just wanted to go back to sleep; until he said we had arrived at 'home.'

Wherever that might be. But considering the fact that we really weren't at sea all that long, we were probably still somewhere around Italy.

I tilted my head up to peek at Alec, who was motioning to the window. I turned from him to the direction his eyes were and looked out. I made a gasping sound and ran to the window to get a closer look at the view. We were heading for a dock, it looked like. And beyond the dock was a ancient looking, yet beautiful city. It was breathtaking, even in the gloomy setting of the grey clouds. I could only imagine what it would look like with the sun shining down on the brick buildings and the streets. I could see from where I was standing lots of other boats, most of them looking like they were used for fishing. I could already tell that this place was a chunk of history, it only made sense that Alec would be from here.

Alec. He was killed here. Here, in this gorgeous place. Suddenly, the extravagance to the city dimmed a little with that fact in my head.

I could feel him step up behind me, I looked over my shoulder to read his expression. It was a hard thing to do; because there wasn't much emotion on his stunning face. It was just blank.

"Welcome to Sicily, Nez…" He muttered under his breath, never taking his eyes off the port. It was like he was being dragged back there in chains or something. I knew this was going to hurt him, so why did he have to do it? He said he wanted me to see everything. Me. Meaning this was for my benefit. I wasn't worth all this trouble, or the pain he was going through because of it. I don't know why he felt the need to do this himself. Don't get me wrong, I want to know more about him. I wanted to know everything he was willing to give, but if he can't physically talk about it, why bother?

Looking at his face, stone and expressionless, I thought about Alec's parents. How cruel and inhumane could someone be to turn over their own children? I mean, I didn't exactly have the highest respect for Jane, but even she didn't deserve that. In fact, it was probably part of the reason she was so hostile. Every human and vampire she tortures, its like a payback of what was done to her.

Twisted, but understandable.

"Are you okay?" I asked, putting a hand on his arm gently, trying to bring him back from whatever mind state he was in at the moment.

He looked back at me; a frail look in his dangerous, scarlet eyes that I had never seen before. I wanted to shelter him from this place. It wasn't necessary to open up old wounds and pour salt in them. It was killing me inside to see him sad. I just wanted to make everything better, as dumb as that sounded.

"I'll be fine."

And suddenly, he was composed Alec again. As if nothing effected him. He walked over to his suitcase, unzipping it, his whole body stiff and unmoving.

I wasn't going to take his lies of reassurance.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

I sighed and shook my head. So typical. A man trying to be all tough and unmoved by everything about him. It was very annoying how that was. I guess even in a vampire's body, testosterone was still flowing through. With a roll to my eyes, I walked up behind him and pressed my lips to his shoulder blade; kissing him softly in a innocent kind of way.

"Please, Alec…don't shut me out."

It seemed as if he was going to reply, and finally open up to me in the way that I wanted, but before he could do so we heard a knock at the door, making Alec shut down again.

Not again!

Alec growled low in his throat, a sound that sent nervous shivers down my spine. I didn't want to be whoever was outside the door, that was for sure.

"What is it, Roberto?" Alec called impatiently.

Roberto was the last person I wanted to see right now. I mean, the guy has seen more than half of me, up close and personal. And now he was going to barge in on yet another important moment that could play a vital piece in my and Alec's relationship! Alec was just about to open up, tell me was he was feeling! Yet, fate was a bitch. They wanted him to be a complete puppet when it concerned his true nature.

Oh, screw Alec. He doesn't matter. All that matters is that he remains completely heartless and uncaring. A perfect puzzle piece to the Volturi, that was all he was right? _Wrong._

I saw him as so much more, and I wanted protect him from everything that lay ahead. I wanted to scream at him to stop doing this to himself. Because I can see even now, that this was going to put an impact on him. But I obviously couldn't change his mind. I was completely useless, a witness to a tragedy; a newscaster who could clearly see a horrific storm coming. But powerless to stop it, and too weak to even try.

Alec then turned towards me and pressed his cool lips against my forehead, savoring the few more seconds before the door opened. I guess it didn't matter that I was half naked. Again.

"Don't let him come in." I whined, wrapping my arms around his neck, as if that would stop him from opening the door. How naïve was I?

"He's not going to go away unless we open the door."

"And why not? Scare him or something, you're good at that, aren't you?"

"I nearly gave the man a heart attack last night Nez, what more do you want?" He said with a chuckle.

"A replacement that has some common decency and understands the term privacy!" I yelled. I knew I was being pretty brutal about this whole thing, but I just wanted to be alone with Alec. Was that too hard to ask for? I didn't think so. My time with him was limited after all, and every second should be cherished.

So forgive me if I didn't want to waste them on a short, jolly Italian man who could barely understand anything I had say to him. Not to mention, he has seen more than his fair share of my nipples. Just the thought made me cringe and blush.

Alec, being way too observant for his own good, noticed the change as he always did. His eyes becoming tender as he caressed my cheek with his thumb, his cold skin feeling celestial against my warmth.

"At least he knocked this time." He offered simply, in front of the door in a flash. I didn't even have time to think, much less prepare myself. I mean, here I was: in nothing but Alec's shirt that reached down to my thighs, smiling like an idiot. I couldn't even remember the exact design of my underwear, but I knew it showed enough! I wasn't wearing thongs, but I also wasn't exactly wearing granny panties either.

Thank god.

Once Alec had the door open, I saw Rob glance over Alec's shoulder to catch a peek at me.

_What the hell!?_

I then realized, suddenly, what this could look like to someone on the outside.

Me wearing nothing but Alec's shirt, Alec wearing nothing but his pants. Perfect. We look like we rough causal sex or something and didn't even bother to change clothes.

With that in mind, I then become very self conscious, and hugged myself insecurely.

Roberto rambled in Italian, throwing his arms in the air ecstatically as he spoke. I stared at him in return, not understanding a damn word that came out of his mouth. He smiled sweetly, and I just nodded and cocked an eyebrow, pretending I knew what he was saying, while Alec smiled broadly in the background. I was waiting for it to dawn on him that I didn't understand him, but he just didn't get the hint.

When he finally finished with his rambling, I glanced over at Alec and cleared my throat subtly, hoping one of the men in this room had a brain.

After a few moments of trying to have silent words with Alec, he finally spoke, his voice dripped with humor.

"English, Roberto." He said, patting him on the back like they were old friends. I appalled that gesture, especially when I was the one that was in the dark. Roberto let out a few nervous laughs and shook his head.

"Miss Renesmee, I apologize. I forget. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for last night with the…" He trailed off, motioning to his chest, his boney fingers pointing to the indication of what he meant. I just died.

Covering my chest with my arms. I began to feel very exposed in front of him, and it wasn't a good feeling at all. I knew he didn't mean to, but still he had a way with making me feel very uncomfortable.

Alec must have finally gotten a clue and started to push Roberto out of the room, while he still was trying to talk to me.

"There is breast- I mean breakfast! I made breakfast for you! I make hash browns! And eggs! And-"

That's when the door slammed in his face, Roberto's voice echoing in the hall. Once I knew the door was closed, I threw myself on the bed and covered my head with the pillow, wishing so badly that I was anywhere but here on this yacht.

I was embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated, used! Every word I could think of, I was feeling. I just wanted to stay buried underneath Alec-scented pillows for eternity.

But life could never be that easy, could it?

"Nez…" I heard him say gently as he touched my arm. I flinched away and flew up from the pillows, glaring at him.

"Thank you so much, Alec. While my body was being viewed like a freaking whore in a window you just stood there! Laughing no less! I'm glad to know you value me," I spat bitterly. Okay, maybe I was overreacting, but I really did feel mortified about the whole situation. "I'm sorry if I'm a little self conscious about my body; no one has really looked at it the way you do. I'd like to keep it that way."

Alec's eyes softened at that last statement, then they narrowed, like he had a right to be upset with me.

"Listen to me, I do value you. More than you could ever fathom. I'm sorry if you were embarrassed, sometimes even I don't think." He apologized, cupping my cheek with one of his cool hands. I leaned into it and closed my eyes, completely forgetting why I was I was upset in the first place, and with one simple touch, I couldn't help but forgive him. How pathetic could someone be?

"Yeah, because you're perfect right?" I half-joked.

"That's exactly right. Now, go eat breast-fast." He added with a smirk. I punched him in the arm and rolled my eyes at his joke.

I jumped off the bed and looked around, not sure of what to do. I couldn't walk around with just his shirt on, sadly. Peeking out the door and I made sure Roberto was absolutely no where in sight. Then as quickly as I could, I ran down the hall and into my own bedroom, closing the door behind me with a relived sigh. Alec hadn't followed me, which didn't surprise me, but I'll have to admit I was a little disappointed all the same. I'm not saying I wanted him to see everything just yet, getting dressed and all, but I just didn't want to be away from him. Even if it was just for clothes.

Wow, I'm really acting pitiful today, aren't I? Can't I possibly be away from Alec for less that five minutes? I wasn't my mother. I could stand on my own two feet. Couldn't I?

I thought that I could, but the more aware I became of his absence, the more I realized we were two peas in a pod; my mom and I. Which is something I'll never say aloud to anyone. I wanted to be my own person, after all.

_Stupid genetics. _

I went to my duffle bag and pulled out a pair of sweat pants, I didn't want to get all dolled up yet. That would take forever and I wasn't willing to waste those minutes. Still wearing Alec's shirt, I pulled the collar up and inhaled his scent. I don't know why but it smelled of cinnamon, which is odd because that's a food. He didn't eat food. I'm not objecting of course, because his scent was so intoxicating that it made me dizzy, but still one had to wonder these things.

After reassuring myself that I was fully dressed and decent, I walked out of my room and headed towards the kitchen. I was starting to find my way around this gigantic place finally, which was reassuring.

Once I made it to the kitchen I was greeted by Alec's eyes that looked at me from head to toe, drinking it all in. He hadn't decided to dress. In fact, he still hadn't put a shirt on at all.

I wasn't going to object to that either.

Seeing him lean against the counter, his eyes looking at me like that made me feel naked all over again. I had the urge to walk over there and kiss him, but when I saw the food awaiting, and my thoughts became distracted by the grumbling in my stomach, though I couldn't find it within myself to want any of it. Which is just stupid.

It wasn't that I was fully craving food, in fact, I knew why my stomach was grumbling and what I wanted, and the more I thought about it, the more I found myself needing it.

_Blood._

It had been a few days since I last fed, that was a record for me. But there was so many other things happening in my life right now that blood seemed to be the least important on my list of priorities.

So, like the champ that I was, I grabbed a plate and starting to fill it with Roberto's apparently famous hash browns and eggs, and grabbed a biscuit. Turning my head I could see Alec's gaze on me, a smirk to his beautiful lips.

"Hungry?"

I simply nodded, walking past him and jumping up to sit on the counter. I took the pitcher of orange juice that was next to me along with a glass and poured me some. I gulped it, pretending it was red instead of orange.

Oh how It would taste.

It wasn't until I opened eyes, that I notice Alec was staring at me. A full blown smile on his face, for some reason amused. My heart sped at the sight.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you uh…you seem to be enjoying that."

"I am, thank you for taking the time to notice." I replied, shoving a piece of biscuit that was on the plate into my mouth. I chewed, pretending I was actually savoring it.

_Oh this is so not what I was wanting._

"Mmm.." I faked contently, smiling at him. He smiled back, only with a evil glint in his eye, that made my own eyes narrow at him.

That was never a good sign.

Not a good sign at all. Alec went to the refrigerator and pulled out a glass what seem to be a dark red substance.

I stopped chewing and just stared at it, hypnotized. It was like nothing else in this world mattered at the moment. I didn't know that he had brought blood, but of course I should have. Hell, he had probably gotten Roberto to donate, meaning it was more than likely fresh. I could feel my stomach growling, and a yearning, dry feeling in my throat as I thought about just how fresh it might be. Were I venomous, it would be pooling in my mouth.

"I'm so glad we can both take pleasure in a healthy breakfast together, aren't you? You know what they say after all. It is the most important meal of the day." He said a little too cheerfully.

My eyes still didn't leave the glass, even when he stepped right in front up me, standing in between my somewhat spread legs. Even when he causally ran his hand up my thigh, I never looked away from it. By this point, my mouth was watering. To try and reassure myself, I took another big bite of the biscuit, not wanting to give Alec the satisfaction of showing how much I was craving what was in his hands.

It only made matters worst when he brought the rim of the glass to his full lips, closing his eyes as he inhaled the red liquid. Without even really realizing it, I leaned in closer to the glass, memorized by the contents. I don't think I had ever wanted blood as much as I did right now. As to why? Perhaps I did go to long without feeding. I would never make that mistake again.

To continue the torture, he started to drink the contents, making sounds of pleasure as he did so. Oh, I was so going to kill him later, when I could think properly. Not only was he consuming something I was desperately needing just to be an ass, he was also turning me on!

I growled impatiently, waiting for him to come up for air. Oh, of course, how could I forget?

He didn't need air.

After a few moments of watching, he finally did stop thankfully, but not without topping it all of with a lick of the rip of the glass just to make sure he got all of it, that might of slipped out.

I'd had had it.

"That's it!" I snapped, my mouth still full of the tasteless mush. I threw down the remains of the biscuit back on the plate, pushing him away from as I did so.

"I am sick of your crap!" I growled, though it came out sounding like, 'I am shick of your rap.'

Alec raised his eyebrows and shook his head, playing stupid.

"What crap?" He asked innocently.

"You know what I'm talking about. You--with your AB positive!"

"Its O negative." He corrected, smiling at my lack of knowledge.

"Whatever! The point is, you enjoy teasing me a little too much." I said, and sighed.

I wasn't sure where all this sudden annoyance came from, was I overreacting? Probably, but the man just turned me on by drinking a simple glass of blood. And it just gets under my skin how much he can effect me sometimes. He didn't even have to try and he could get my blood boiling. Literally, he could. I guess it wasn't his fault though, it just happened naturally for him. I wish that was skill I possessed. As if.

"Its just too easy, though. I can't help myself."

See? He knew it too. He could twist me like a freaking pretzel. Besides the point that sounded very dirty, it was true. But I didn't want to be a piece of wire he could bend any way. I wanted to be strong, and have control. I have control, I just didn't want to use it sometimes. Still, I had it. Thinking about how easy it was for him to be around me, I couldn't help but feel inspired by the whole idea. It was like a spark.

Thinking about the plan I was forming in my head, I smiled to myself knowingly.

I had an idea, one that I was going to keep from him for a little while, just to pay him back and get under his skin.

"What?" Alec asked curiously, catching my little smirk. I ignored him with pleasure.

He growled, getting impatient. And oh boy was the growl causing my heart to flutter, but I couldn't think about that now, because I hoped he was annoyed. As far as I was concerned he deserved it.

But then he stepped closer to me, his hands found their way up my thighs again. Hunger growing in his eyes. His hands then moved towards the buttons of my shirt and placed his bare hands on my belly, causing my heart rate to accelerate and my breathing to hitch.

_Oh, he was good._

I then tried to remember what I was going to say in the first place, but I couldn't focus. My mind was going in complete circles. My heart humming in my chest and my hands shook while they twisted themselves in his soft hair. Once his hands moved up my body, my legs involuntarily wrapped themselves tight around his waist and my hormones went completely out of whack. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, I felt his cold wet tongue gaze across my warm neck, his lips tugging at the skin in a soft, sensual way and as expected a moan escaped my mouth. Causing Alec to smile against my neck at hearing it.

I was so freaking easy. It's not suppose to be this easy.

That's when it hit me.

Oh, yeah! The idea.

I completely forgot about the plan. I don't know how I thought about it, but before the whole him turning me on like a flashlight, I had a really good plan! Just to see how much I can push him and push myself for that matter. Alec and I needed a distraction anyway from the things that will happen today. Maybe a game is what we needed?

"Well, before you...ya know.. You were…. Bringing up a interesting idea." I started, my voice sounding strange and uneven as I tried to regain some of my earlier boldness.

His hands pulled away from my chest, his eyes narrowed, as he tilted his head in confusion.

"Go on…"

"Well, I think you think you have more self control than I do."

He smiled sensually and moved his face even closer to my own. I sucked in a breath, trying hopelessly not to be effected but it was pointless because I couldn't help it. With him so close like that? It was impossible for my body not to react, but that didn't mean I'd have to show it.

"I do." He replied, obviously sure that he was. I rolled my eyes, he appreciated himself way too much for his own good. I needed to de-swell some of that air in his head.

"Today's not going to be fun for you and since you tease me to no end and I don't seem to effect you nearly as much as you do me. Lets make a wager. I bet that you can't go the rest of today without touching me in a sexual manner." I stated bravely, putting on my game face.

"No touching at all?"

"Nope…well you can hold my hand, you know and fabrics are fine, but anymore and it's off. I win."

His smile widened, and he shook his head.

"First off you do effect me Renesmee." He said, my name rolling off on his tongue sounding as if I was some beautiful flower, or something. "But if you want to play, and if it'll make you feel better about today, I'll go long. Just be aware that your in way over your head here. And I don't apologize for the out come. That being said, what do I get if I win?"

"If you win, I'll tell you those words you so desperately crave after." I breathed into his face. Without even thinking before I spoke. His eyes narrowed again, emotion flickering behind them. Perhaps I shouldn't have used that as reward, it didn't exactly seem all that fair. Because as I said before, it was going to be on my terms, and it was kind of cruel and unoriginal of me but that's all I could think of. That's the only thing he really desperately wanted.

More reason for me to want to win.

"What about you?"

"If I succeed, well…I get something along the lines of this…" Acting before I even had a chance to finish my request, I threw my arms around his neck and forced my lips onto his hungrily, opening his mouth with mine. I pulled him to my chest and laced my fingers in his hair. I thought he would push me away and tell me he wasn't going to work with these terms, but instead he shocked the hell out of me and he gripped on to my waist, and pulled me closer to his body. My breasts responded to his hard, cool and bare frame being pressed up against mine. I had just realized again that he was shirtless, so feeling his nipples against my own very hard ones made me tremble. Our tongue merged together desperately as if it was the only thing bringing us together, fighting each other for space,

Like it was a game of dominates. My skin burning with the need to touched.

My fingers traveled from his silky hair to his shoulders, touching every inch of him.

My nails digging into him as if to hang on for dear life.

The longer the kiss held, the more I wanted him. My mind was completely blank all I knew was if I wasn't going to be able to kiss him at all today then I was going to get as much as I could now.

I -accidentally- scratched the hard surface of his shoulder blades. He moaned out my name when I did so, the reaction caused my heart to pounding against my ribs. His hands trailing into my hair, tilting my head up for better angle and I couldn't be happier. I wanted this and he knew that now. Grinding myself against his pelvic, I moaned loudly into his mouth, he must of liked that response, because Alec then pushed my back against the cabinets hard, never letting his mouth leave mine. Being pushed into the wooden surface may have hindered our interaction and that just pissed me off but it didn't stop our movements. In fact the kissing became more intense by the second and my heart became the only thing I could hear, along with my own breathing. As I moved my mouth against his roughly, tasting the sweetness that was Alec, the center of my legs pulsing with need and desire so much that I was shaking uncontrollably. I ached inside so badly, and having him so close but not quite there was excruciating. He tasted so wonderful and

I was getting so wet my panties were completely damp. I used my feet that were wrapped around his lower back and urgently pushed my center hard into his erection. His hardness caused my breathing to become harsh and unstable as it made it's presence more aware, and like the moron I am, I couldn't help but gasp at the realization of how much he wanted me. The feeling of him against me right where I needed him the most sent electric tingles all down my body. He then took both his hands and placed them on my butt, grinding me closer to him, if that was even possible.

Alec then made a sound that almost resembled a whimper against my lips, and I only responded with the same.

I've never wanted him more then I did now. The energy between us burning so much that I felt like I was on fire. My hands were shaking as they gripped on to his cool back, the variation of our skin sending me chills. As I felt Alec's bare hands running up my bare back, his skin against mine, I took his bottom lip into my teeth and I tugged as hard as I could, Alec liked that obviously because before I knew it the cabinet door beside us broke with a big bam of Alec's fist. Which made me come back to reality of the situation and my goal. I pulled back biting my lower lip at him. I slowly opened my eyes to see that his was still closed, his breathing was completely not existent.

"I….want….all of it. All of you. No words said, no….nothing. Just you." I gasped, my breathing still sounding exotic, like I've been running a marathon. Oh, I was going to pay for stopping where I did. The throbbing wasn't going to ease up anytime soon, my breasts felt as if they were going to fall off and were in desperate need to be touched.

I looked up to see how he was doing; it didn't look like he was taking this much better than me.

"You shouldn't have done that, Renesmee." He muttered disapprovingly, his voice sounding unfamiliar, as his brilliant eyes burned with desire. He ran a hand through his hair, and sighed deeply.

"You shouldn't have let me, then. Which is precisely my point. You're no stronger than I am when it comes to this." I was pretty impressed with my comeback, because it was true. He didn't have more will power, if he had, he would've pushed me away. He didn't. I wasn't the only one who was a complete animal, here. So, if he thought he was more composed and poised, he was mistaken. I had just proved that, even if I haven't meant to. Still, the game had to be played. The distraction was very much needed, not only for him but for me. I don't think I can handle of all this. I knew I couldn't.

After moments of calming ourselves, Alec shut his eyes tight and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he was in deep thought. I figured he was going to tell me it was a stupid idea, but he just shrugged and smirked.

"Fine. We'll play. I don't like your terms but I guess it'll be bearable."

I squealed and almost threw my arms around him but stopped myself and hopped off the counter with a smile.

"Then I guess we should get ready for Sicily." I said, trying to sound encouraging but I knew I was failing.

I can't find it within myself to be happy about this trip. A part of me wished he kept me in the dark. Not tell me anything. If I knew that this was the plan, I wouldn't of kept on asking where our destination was.

Ugh.

As I started to walk back to my room, I heard Alec clear his throat.

"Nez.."

I froze, slowly turning to see his beautiful face, staring right into my eyes.

"I'm going to be fine. You believe me don't you?"

_No, not at all._

"Of course. But if you're not--"

"I will be. I promise." he said, sounding so secure about the situation, and without saying anything, I simply nodded and went on my way. Once I made it to my room, I found my duffle bag in a corner and started to wonder who packed my stuff. I mean, usually the person who would pack girl things would be another chick, but being in Italy, and knowing how Felix picked my dress out for my birthday, I couldn't be so sure, that is until I opened the bag and saw what was in it.

It screamed Heidi. Going through the clothes and picking out my outfit for the day, a slip of white paper fell from the bag.

_Little Cullen,_

_I hope you're not too mad at Felix and I for your kidnapping. I know that things weren't pleasant the last time we encountered, but I have high hopes for this trip Alec has planned, with that in mind, I snuck in some goodies for you: or rather Alec. Put it to good use! I know how men can be quite irritating at times but the outcome is worth it, trust me._

_Aside from that, have confidence in Alec on this trip. I don't know the details of where you're going, but I have a gut feeling it's not going to be easy on him, he may have wronged you in the past, but I know deep down he truly cares for you. Cherish that. He doesn't kid around with such things as emotions. Believe me. I know._

_Take care._

_-Heidi_

I read the words over and over and looked back in my bag, my eyes laying on exactly what goodies she meant.

_Good god!_

I can't believe she did this. I can't believe that woman actually put lingerie in my freaking bag! And I'm not just talking about modest night clothes here.

This is down right dirty, revealing, naughty lingerie!

I picked up the top piece of the outfit, because its apparently a two piece set. It was white and lacy, not to mention see through. The top of course, didn't have any straps whatsoever, and it only covered the breasts, nothing more. I'll admit it was pretty, but what the heck did she think this trip was about? Did she think the second we were alone we were just going to jump each other's bones? I mean sure, last night wouldn't help my argument on the matter but still! I was a virgin!

Against my better judgment I looked back down to see the rest of the set. The bottoms would clearly show my ass, were it worn. It sort of resembled a very, very, very short mini skirt. As if this all wasn't enough, I also spotted stockings, garter and high heel shoes to match. I blushed just at the thought of wearing that in front of him, I'd look like a complete fool. Some woman could pull this off, but some woman was most definitely not me. I think Heidi had by mistaken put this in my bag instead of her drawer. What the hell? Did she think I was a playboy bunny? Did she think I was into that kind of thing? I might have been bold last night but that was last night! This is completely out of character, I would never in my whole existence wear this piece of lint!

I quickly shoved it back into my bag, at the very bottom. I didn't want Alec to see it. Ever.

How could I not have seen this article of clothing before?

Suddenly I heard a knock at the door and I froze, my heart pounding in my ears. He didn't have a lot of patience, did he?

"Nez? You decent?"

"No, I'm not." I lied, hoping that would make him go away. Perhaps if I did take off his shirt I'd sound more convincing, but it was too late. He was already opening the door.

He looked me up and down and nodded with his lips pursed in a suspecting manner.

"Are you planning on wearing my shirt all day? Not that I object, its just I figured you'd be a little more comfortable in something your own size. Plus, Italian mind's are very expanded in Sicily, wouldn't want to give them the wrong idea."

I gulped.

Well, I wouldn't want them to see me in what Heidi had picked out, leaving none to their expanded minds.

"Well, I was going to get dressed, but there nothing in that duffle bag that I could possibly wear." I explained as he walked towards me. My body stiffened instantly, causing him to tilt his head curiously, his face completely puzzled.

"Why, what's wrong with them?"

I shook my head and tried to keep my body from trembling. Alec's eyes were full on worried now, and I felt bad for it. But I didn't want him to know what was in the bag, and what one of his so called friends had packed for us. What would he think of them? Would he be turned on by it? I knew he was mature, but he still was a man. I knew how a man worked. I think.

"Nothing." I replied a little too quickly, which only made him more suspicious. I was really bad at this whole lying thing, wasn't I? I straight up sucked. And with him looking at me like that, all concerned, it made me feel worse.

Then before I knew it Alec was picking up the bag and putting it on the bed, opening it up and searching through it. I tried to stop him, I begged in fact. It did no good. Once I knew he had found the lingerie, my heart felt like it stopped. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and go into my bubble.

"I've never seen that before in my life!" I hollered, trying to sound convincing. I failed. I don't even know why I'm trying to hide it, its no use. Alec looked from the material to me, raising an eyebrow.

"Never, have you?" He held up the bottoms with his delicate index finger, sneering at me, a glint in his eyes.

"Nonever." I squeaked, making it sound like it was one word. Alec nodded knowingly and brought the article to his nose briefly and inhaled, looking at me as he did so.

"You never touched these?" I only looked at a picture of a seagull behind him. It was crooked. If we were in a light mood I might have asked him to fix it because I have a strange fascination with how he moved his fingers. Those fingers, I wanted them everywhere. But I was getting ahead of myself, this wasn't the time. Definitely not the time.

Stuck in my fantasy I heard Alec clear his throat impatiently. My eyes shifted to his face and I just rolled them at him.

"Well, I had never seen them before today, at least." I defended, being completely honest. I had never thought Heidi would get me such a thing, it was dirty! Not for me. Not at all.

Never.

Is it bad to think I actually might look somewhat decent in that if I wore it once?

Ah!

Alec flashed one of those ever so rare grins, the one that showed all of his perfect white teeth. The one that made my heart go up into my throat. He was so breathtaking when he smiled, genuinely smiled. It took everything I had not to kiss him, while the curves up his mouth that were reaching up to his sparkling ruby eyes.

I could only stand there and gape at the sight of pure beauty, and he didn't even realize why.

_Quick, think of something smart to say! Think of something- crap_,

_did he like bleach his teeth every morning!? I mean, damn! I didn't know he had so many teeth! _

The sound of his laughter was like melodious music to my ears, I could listen to it forever. He moved his hand through his hair while his chest heaved. In my head I was stretching this moment out in slow motion, catching every fiber of it while I could.

But just as soon as it came, it ended. His smile faded, as he pressed his lips together. My heart sank.

"I guess I'll take these, then." He offered, picking up the lingerie and stockings, tucking it under his arm like a football. I picked up the thong that he had dropped on the floor and threw it to him. He caught it in his hand without effort and studied the pair with a glazy look in his eyes. I blushed without warning, though I should have expected it. He was a man. They did this kind of thing, playing little sins in their sick minds. Oh wait, I'd done that yesterday, didn't I? I'd played it in mine and his head.

_Oh, crap. I'm worse than a man._

I couldn't help but stare as he rubbed the fabric with his thumb, and just to continue off where I had left off tomorrow, I imagined a sick scene once again. Only this time he wasn't touching me so I wouldn't have an audience.

Seeing him press his thumb against the panties, I imagined my body in that fabric. All the while he was encouraging me to push myself deeper into his thumb, causing it to put more pressure on my sensitive skin. I really needed to stop doing this and get another hobby, because each time I did, I began to flush. Alec, having excellent eyesight, could clearly tell I was up to something, which made me feel vulnerable and stupid. But gladly I wasn't alone with a twisted mind because here Alec was, rubbing vacant panties with his fingers, his eyes closed. I could only wonder what illusions he was coming up with.

I gulped loudly, and he looked back up at me, getting a hold of himself.

"I should leave you to dress." He muttered under his breath and started to leave the room.

As he turned towards the door, I then caught a glance of the shirt he was wearing for the first time. And oh my goodness gracious, it was effin' horrendous. I mean, what the crap? He actually put that on himself!? I shivered at the realization that my love interest was totally lacking in the style department. Alice would not approve!

"Alec-" I choked out, trying to hold in the laughter that desperately wanted to come out. He turned back around and shook his head, unaware of why I was wanting to laugh. He was so oblivious, it was just adorable, how innocent his face looked. The clueless expression was too much. I burst into laughter, throwing my head back involuntarily. It got so bad that tears were forming at my eyes and my stomach was hurting.

"What is so amusing?" He asked, chuckling himself lightly, still completely ignorant. I couldn't speak, I just shook my head and continued to laugh.

Alec smiled to himself and sighed, finally catching on.

"Its my shirt, isn't it?"

I sucked in the laughter and glanced back at the black shirt with big bold red letters that read: THE MAN.

Oh, this was just too good. Where was a camera when you needed it? I could see it now, Alec posing, all confident with his awesome T-shirt.

Alec wasn't just a man. He was _the _man.

I started laughing all over again.

"I'm going to kill Felix for this." He stated plainly, clearly trying not to laugh himself. I couldn't believe he was actually going to wear that. I always figured Alec was the type that was very touchy about what he put on his back. Hell, he had a cow that day when I put him into casual everyday wear. But this? This was just ridicules, and he seemed to have less a problem with it than he did my choice. I guess Felix had a influence over him that I clearly knew nothing about.

"Oh, Alec…this is priceless. But to be perfectly honest, I'm not going to set foot in public with you while you're wearing that shirt. So please, do me a favor and take it off, will you?" I joked, but actually quite serious. There was no way I could be seen with him in that. Normally, I wouldn't care what he was wearing, but this was just too silly. It would be like me going out with a shirt saying: Half-Breeds Rock!

Yeah, it wasn't happening.

Alec's stance seemed to change from amused and slightly embarrassed to a confident manner. I knew that look all too well. That look said he had a revenge in mind, and he was up to no good. I stopped laughing and froze because of that look. One, because it was very alluring, and two because I was honestly unsure of what he was going to do.

He dropped the pile of the lingerie on the ground and started moving his shoulders, as if they were hurting or something.

"As much as I'd like to take it off…I seem to have this weird cramping in my arms. Can't really function properly." He lied obnoxiously, putting on a good act of someone who was feeling discomfort. I saw right through it though. Still, I wasn't sure what the whole point of it was.

"Well, as much as I'd like to believe that…I don't, really." I giggled and turned around to try and finally get ready. "Go change, Alec."

"Hmm, well here's the deal, I won't be taking it off unless you're the one doing the removing." He said in a seductive voice. I stopped in my path and turned my head slowly to look back at him. What in the world is going through that pretty little head of his? Was he just purposely trying to be mean to me? I mean, I know its not as if I hadn't seen him shirtless before, or seen him in general. That was proved last night. But actually removing clothes off of him would only tempt me more than I could handle. And he knew it.

"Alec, you know the conditions of our agreement."

"Yes, you said you couldn't touch skin. Well, as long as you're careful.." He teased and raised his eyebrows. I scoffed and considered telling him I didn't give a damn anymore whether or not he wore the foolish shirt. But, there was a strong urge wanting to get another glance at his perfect physique. To be honest, I can never get rather enough of him, so knowing that I was torturing myself, I swallowed the lump that was rising in my throat, and I began to walk slowly towards him, my heart pounding against my ribs.

Lifting the shirt over his torso. My fingers shook, trying not to touch his skin. Though every instinct in my body told me to. I don't know why I was nervous, I shouldn't be. After giving him a hand job, this should be a piece of cake. But every time with Alec was like a first time. The feelings and sensations I had never went away, it never got easier. Once I finally lifted the shirt off of him, he gave me a look of udder satisfaction, his hair all out of place now. I must say, I quite liked him looking a little roughed up, it made my knees weak and my body ache.

"Much better." He sighed, and I gave him a sour smile in return. Oh, he wasn't the only one who could play this game. I cocked my head to one side and started scratching at the sides of my waist.

"You know, I don't know how you can handle this itchy fabric. Its not enjoyable in the least. So, as much as I hate to part with your shirt, I would really prefer to have it off of me." Okay, so perhaps it was cheesy to do the exact same thing to him, but he really needed to get a taste of his own displeasuring medicine. I could see it happening as his look of triumph slowly but surly staring to fade into nothing.

"I see. So, I suppose you're wanting me to do the dirty business of taking care of it?"

"Its only fair. I'm the kind of person who seeks out justice…one button at a time."

He rolled his eyes and reached out his hands to take the lowest button on the shirt in his fingers. I held my breath as he started to ever so gradually began to unbutton the shirt. Each one he undid revealed a bit more skin than before. I wasn't wearing a bra, and even if he had seen my breasts the night before, I was still very anticipated for him seeing them again. I expressed the excitement of the situation by teasing him gleefully with a soft moan.

He grunted, sounding uneasy as he undid the button right in the valley of my breasts, after that one he was finished. I could hear him breathing softly as he pulled away the two chunks of cloth to reveal my bare upper body. He removed the shirt completely, dropping it on the ground carelessly. All he could focus on was my chest, his eyes fixated on them like they were the most precious things in the world. I could feel my face heat up, just by his eyes alone. They made me feel even more naked than I was.

"Are you comfortable, now?" He asked, his voice soft and low. My heart was beating so fast, and I felt myself break into a little sweat. Oh, I wasn't expecting to feel like this. I just wanted to take back the whole thing about the stupid bet and tell him to touch me. But I couldn't go back on that. It was something I had to prove to myself.

"Extremely."

The look of desire in his eyes intensified, his mouth parting slightly as he licked his bottom lip. Oh, I adored him so freaking much it hurt.

"Lovely…" He said, lowering his face to blow cool air on one of my nipples. I sucked in a breath and bit my own lip so hard I thought It would start bleeding. Upon him blowing his very cool air on me made my nipples perk up rapidly, including the one he hadn't even effected. Just him blowing on me made me feel like I was going to fall down.

"I'm sure you've seen…I don't know- better." I said softly, becoming a little self conscious all of the sudden. I covered myself instinctively. Alec had been with who knows how many beautiful vampires. Woman who could match up to him in his strength, and just plain gorgeousness. Who was I? I was some northern, small town, daddy's girl, half human and half vampire freak who just 6 months prior even started growing boobs. I was so pathetic, that not even the vampire side of me didn't even develop venom! How was that even freaking possible? I'm a circus freak. I'm straddling two different species; I'll never be fully accepted on either sides.

I'm a girl who lusts after blood, loves orange juice, who still occasionally likes her Uncle Emmett to give her a pinkie-back rides, is imprinted by a guy who use to be in love her mother and his now wanting me to fall in love with him so we have mutant human/vampire/werewolf babies together, and on the side is now falling in love with a Volturi member, the coven who came to destroy my family a few years back.

Yeah, I'd definitely be a good candidate for Miss America 2013.

Alec should just get out now while he had the chance.

But, hearing what I just said made his eyes narrow in a annoyed way. But I didn't mean it in a bad way, it was just the truth. He'd have to have seen better in his days.

Alec stood up straightly and looked me deep in the eyes, I instantly knew he wasn't playing around anymore. Whatever he was about to say, it was serious. My heart danced in my chest at the anticipation of what he was about to say.

"Heaven itself couldn't be as sweet and divine as you are, Renesmee. You are the most fascinating, breathtaking woman I've ever had the pleasure of encountering in my long life. Words can't even do you justice…" He whispered adoringly, his voice serious yet gentle. I swear my heart melted just then, my eyes were starting to water at the words that just came out of his mouth.

He took one of his hands and cradled my cheek, stroking it softly with his fingertips.

"Can't touch me…" I mumbled, not meaning it.

"I don't care about a stupid bet. This isn't sexual, this is just a little example of how much I adore you, Nez. You are so much more than a conquest, I've had plenty of those in my existence, and they were just to pass the time or ease my boredom. You, on the other hand are like a punch in the gut. You're not another playmate to me, you're it…whatever it is, that's you." He said jokingly; I giggled softly as a tear strolled down my cheek and onto his finger that lingered there.

He paused for a moment, then took the teardrop that lay on his forefinger and pressed it against his own cheek, making an illusion of a tear coming from him. I had no idea why he was doing it, perhaps he was just curious how it felt. I just watched curiously as he looked very sad for a second or two. Then, he quickly brushed it off with a smile that I wasn't buying.

"Why did you do that?" I asked with a obvious puzzled tone of voice.

Alec shook his head, disregarding he ever did it. Oh, I hated it when he ignored the question at hand. It made me want to punch a hole through a brick wall or something.

"You should put something on, I'll go tend to myself." He said in a rush and sped out of the room before I even had a chance to blink.

Running away from his feelings once again.

I sighed and went through my bag -again- and finally decided on a casual black dress that had instead of sleeves, two little thin straps that tied around the neck. Then, slipped into a pair of cute flip-flops. After getting dressed, I went into my bathroom and luckily found my toothbrush waiting for me. Thank goodness, I would have gone mad if I wasn't able to brush my teeth. The last thing I wanted was Alec smelling my bad breath; which he had probably gotten a good dose of this morning. Ugh, how humiliating.

Finally when I was content with the way I looked, I was about to walk out my bedroom as I heard Alec shout from another room.

"Damn it! Looks like we're going to have to wait a while before I can leave, Nez. The news people and their phony forecast lied. Its nice and sunny out at the moment, its suppose to change in a couple hours." He yelled, and I glanced out the window and for the first time noticed it was sunny now. Well, looks like I got to see the sun shine down on the streets after all.

I ran out of the room and followed his scent which led to this living room, looking displeased as he watched the outside world. Even through the glass, the sun still made his skin all sparkly. I smiled softly at the sight. I'd only seen him in the sunlight once before, and it wasn't long enough. I studied his profile as he looked out the window, his face and his neck glittering, his long eyelashes lightening up as the brightness brushed against them. His hair shined like silk, and looked a lighter brown than it normally did.

He was just indescribable, that's the only way I can think to put it. Utterly indescribable.

He eventually caught me staring, turning to give me a frown.

"Its just the sun reflecting on our skin like it would a rock or pavement. You live with eight other vampires who must go into the sun occasionally. Why do you act like its so surreal?" He asked, almost sounding annoyed. But I could tell he was just honest to God confused as to why I was so amazed. I guess I could understand why he'd feel that way. It really didn't make sense. But I couldn't help it, he was just so damn gorgeous! I guess he didn't think that it was normal to think like that or something. Great, now I felt stupid. I blushed involuntarily and looked down at my feet, concentrating on my toes that needed to be repainted.

"Because, with you its different." I mumbled, sounding totally pitiful and embarrassed. He would think I'm a besotted idiot, or at least he should. It was so cliché, seeing your vampire love interest sparkle and swoon over it. Okay, maybe it wasn't so cliché, but my mom had swooned, and I always thought it was weird. Now, I understood.

I peeked up back at him through my eyelashes, and saw that his face had softened. He even sported a small smile for me, though he was probably just faking it; trying to make me feel less like a moron.

Still, I took that chance and gave him a uneasy smile in return. I walked into the room and plopped myself on the couch, tapping me knees with my hands, unsure of what to do now.

"So…" I began, pursing my lips.

"You know, you can go with Roberto to go take a tour. I'll catch up with you later when the clouds start coming in." He suggested, facing me. I realized now that he had changed his awesome shirt into something a bit more modest. It was just a grey t-shirt that fitted his body very nicely.

I snorted the pitch.

"There is no way I'm going in a strange city with Roberto, Alec. I mean the guy is nice and everything, but I feel like jailbait when I'm around him now. The man has seen way too much of the merchandise."

Alec laughed lightly and shook his head.

"Okay, well then I guess you're just stuck in here for a while longer. Aren't you getting stir crazy yet? I thought you were always dying to get out into civilization." He noted, probably remembering my persistence to get out of the Volturi lair and into the public. That was just because I wanted to be out of that gloomy place. The yacht wasn't depressing, it was relaxing and cool. I'd never been on a floating home before, a luxurious one at that. So I didn't have a problem staying on a while longer.

"I don't mind, I like it." I said cheerfully. He shrugged and sat down on a chair across from the couch. I couldn't help but remember last nights events on this particular piece of furniture. I coughed, trying to cover up the fact that I was feeling a bit uneasy. Alec raised his eyebrows at me, then I guess he decided not to ask.

I guess this is what you could call an awkward moment. I, being the brilliant genius I am, starting whistling. Loud and horribly. I could never really master the whole whistling method. It was not easy. I hated it when people said just put your lips together and blow, it was a lie. But I managed to get a whistle out, it wasn't the most relaxing sound you'd ever hear, but I could freaking whistle!

Alec was staring at me now, trying to hide a smile. I glanced over at him and nodded, still whistling but gave him a playful look at the same time. Almost as if I was cocky.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am." I bragged playfully,

putting on a good impression of someone who actually thought they were good.

Unexpectedly, Alec started laughing. Really hard. What I'd said really wasn't that amusing, at least not to me. But I guess it tickled him somehow, because his head was thrown back and he was heaving with laughter. Oh, he was laughing again. I had caught a bit of if earlier, but that laughter was not much compared to how hard he was laughing now. It made my heart almost flutter at the sound.

"What did I say?" I giggled, not quite understanding the humor. Alec shook his head and composed himself, but he was still smiling broadly. Not like earlier when the laughter and smile disappeared altogether.

"Well, what are you wanting to do?" He asked, completely getting me off guard. I blinked, and my eyebrows pulled together.

"What?"

"Well, we're going to be on here for a while, so what are you wanting to do?"

"Well, I thought I saw a deck of cards around here somewhere. We could play war!" I said excitedly. I loved playing war, mostly because I was usually good at it, though it was just a game of luck.

Alec stared back at me; puzzled.

"War?" He asked, his lip curling slightly, not looking thrilled at all. In fact, he looked quite disgusted.

"You deal out the cards, and we each put one face down without looking at one. Whoever has the higher card wins, but if we both get the same card we- Okay, guess you don't want to play." I said suddenly, observing the oh so ecstatic expression on his face. I swear, if vampires could get sick, I swear Alec would at this moment.

"Uncle Emmett likes to play it with me." I muttered bitterly, pouting like a four year old.

Alec sighed.

"I can draw you," He proposed, sounding a little more enthusiastic at this idea. My head shot up then, interested.

"You can draw?" I asked, completely shocked. I had no idea he could draw. He never mentioned that to me. Well of course he didn't mention it to me, one of Alec's hobbies was to keep things about himself from me. I think he took pleasure in it, in fact. I was an open book. Him? Not so much.

"Well I'm not saying it'll be the greatest piece of art ever, but yeah. I…sketch." He said, a playfulness behind that sexy smooth voice of his. Well, well. This was a interesting development. I'd never been drawn before, could be fun. It would be nice to see how Alec views me. He would probably make me a lot more prettier than I am, not that that's a bad thing.

"Um…okay. I'm game." I agreed. He nodded, then sped out of the room. I was about to call out to him and ask what he was doing, but before I could he was back with a pencil and a what looked like a drawing pad. Did he take that thing around him wherever he went? Good gosh, there was obviously a lot I didn't know about him. That annoyed me to no end.

He sat down again across from me and crossed his leg over the other one, propping the pad on his leg, getting comfortable.

I giggled to myself, and he glanced up.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just I feel like we're having a Titanic moment."

"A Titanic moment?" His face scrunching into a confused grimace. He couldn't possible be serious.

"You're kidding right? Titanic! Leonardo DiCaprio? Kate Winslet? Jack and Rose? Epic romance? Famous scene of the drawing in the nude?" I shrieked, talking to him like an alien. I just couldn't believe it.

Alec smirked.

"Well the Titanic I remember had a more tragic ending. More along the lines of a sinking, rather than a naked woman who is being drawn. But if you were wanting to re-act the scene…" He said with a naughtiness in his voice. I rolled my eyes.

"You've seen enough today."

Alec sighed and began to move his hand across the paper rapidly, looking up every few seconds to study me. I wasn't in the most graceful of positions; just sitting there with my lands laid across my lap. I found out very soon it was hard to stay in that pose. I wanted to shift, but I knew I couldn't. I figured while I was sitting here I might as well make small talk.

"So, Sicily. Has it always been this pretty?" I started. Wow, small talk was really lame. But there wasn't all that much else to do at the moment.

"I suppose." He replied dryly, not looking up from the paper. I was like all of the sudden a dark cloud appeared over his head and made him tense and dark. Okay, then. Guess he didn't want to talk about the beauty of the city. So, I tried once more.

"When you were human did you have a lot of friends?" Again, sounding thoroughly interested. I really was though, I figured since he was taking me here, he wouldn't mind stating a little bit about his old life.

"A couple." Again, he sounded like he wanted to kill something.

I felt myself becoming uncomfortable at his cold shoulder. I didn't understand why he was all of the sudden so cold and distant.

"What's wrong?" I pleaded, desperate for him to be the smiling Alec he was a few minutes ago. It had to have been me, I must have somehow upset him, I just didn't know how or why. Regardless, I felt like crap. I didn't like seeing him like this, and knowing it was because of me didn't help me all that much. I was usually good at lifting people's moods, not bringing them down into oblivion. So much for my career as a comedian.

"Nothings wrong, I just don't feel like discussing my past right now…" He looked up, taking a quick glance at me for his drawing, then looked back down.

I blinked again, and shifted slightly. He didn't want to talk about his past. Right. That made total sense considering we were sitting in it.

"But Alec, we're where you're from right now. So its only to be expected that I might ask you things about your past." I reasoned, trying not to sound like I was pressuring him. I just wanted to understand what was going through his head. I get that it might be a sore subject for him, but he had to have known that his human years would be brought up. Did he think that I would just look around the city and that be the end of it? No. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know about his life there, about his family, his neighbors, the way he lived, the way he dressed. The history. But he made it sound like that was not going to be the case at all.

"Well most things I can't really remember, Nez. That's why I brought you here, so you can see for yourself where I grew up. I can show you all the places, and there are a few museums that probably have old paintings of me and my family for all I know. So, you'll get a good chance to see what it was like." He was trying to lighten up the situation, and his tone of voice. Bless his heart, he was trying. But it wasn't enough for me.

"Well that's great and all, but I'm wanting to know how you're feeling, Alec. I know this can't be easy for you."

"I'm fine." He tried to reassure me.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Alec, stop shutting me out!" I yelled desperately, throwing my hands in the air. It was so infuriating when he shut me out like this! I wasn't some oblivious ditz who didn't notice when something was upsetting someone. I saw things, and when I saw them, I wanted to know what was wrong so I could help. And when he just completely overlooked my pleas, it really irritated me. It made my blood boil, actually. I just wanted to get a hold of him and shake him!

Alec set down the paper and pencil and looked up at me, his eyes stone cold and his lips tightened. I flinched at the bitter vibe he was giving away. He was not happy with me at the moment, and it was like knives twisting into my flesh.

"Renesmee, you don't want to know what I'm feeling." He sounded like he was trying to reason with me, to get me to understand, but I would never understand. I can't. I can't understand how he can keep things bottled in like he does.

"Yes, I do. I want to know more than anything."

He sighed and he looked like he gave up, tilting his head.

"Nez, what I'm feeling isn't all that great. Its dark, and quite frankly depressing. I don't want to upset you because I'm selfish enough to dump all my problems on you. You shouldn't have to do that." He said softly, his eyes turning sad.

He thinks he was protecting me by not telling me how he felt. I didn't know whether or not to cry or be more mad. I didn't want him to have to feel bad for telling me things. It was the complete opposite! I wanted to know so I could hopefully work my magic and ease that pain a little. I know I couldn't get rid of all of it, but I could try.

Alec looked so heartbreaking, and it was just because he wanted to shield me. He was so clueless sometimes, wasn't he?

"Alec, you don't have to keep anything from me. Ever. Because it kills me when I hear about you and your past from the Volturi, it makes me jealous that they know more about you than me. Hell, I wouldn't have known you had blue eyes if it weren't for Heidi."

Alec's head pop up at my statement. His eyes puzzling, as if he was trying to search for something that wasn't there.

Like a memory or something. After a few moments of silence, Alec stood up and ran his fingers though his hair roughly, pulling on the ends. I sat and watched utterly confused by his sudden stress.

"Heidi said something about my blue eyes?"

I nodded. "And chubby cheeks when you were. Seven? Eight? I can't remember but--"

"Impossible."

"No really she said that they were the chubbiest cheeks she'd ever--"

"It's impossible that she would of known I had chubby cheeks, given that she didn't meet me till after the transformation." He said, his voice sure of himself, his eyes looking variable as paced around the room.

My heart stopped at the realization.

Oh my gosh.

He doesn't know does he? He doesn't know that he was watched for years before he was turned? That's unspeakable. Of course he had to know. Clearly he's forgotten. I mean, how could he not know? Didn't he notice a group of vampires sneaking around the bushes or something? Didn't Aro make his presences known to the twins?

That's when the truth came to me.

The law.

The law states that no human must know of the vampire world, that they must be changed, or killed. Well that explains Aro's part but what about Alec and Jane? What did they think happened? That the largest group of vampires came and changed them out of chance? How is that realistic? I mean, he had to know Aro craved his power didn't he?

I closed my eyes and breathed in. Trying to make sense of all of this, when I looked up at Alec and saw his broken face.

He did. He thought it was all by chance.

"Alec…they were watching--"

"She must of mistaken me for someone else." his voice was shaky, and I couldn't help but get up and walk over to him, to reach out and hold him. Only my efforts were pointless because all I was given was Alec stepping back away from me.

My eyes widen at his action, and the pain started to rise in my chest.

"Heidi wasn't mistaken Alec. Aro and the rest, they…they watched you and Jane, hoping to turn you when you were older, only I guess they saw you being--" I bit my lip and the word I was trying to say felt like poison on my tongue. I didn't want to bring up that day, with him being in this kind of state, but how could I not? He was bewildered and deserved answers. Hell, I believe I did too.

Answers on how the hell he didn't know this.

"--Killed." I continued, gulping as I looked into Alec's red eyes. "I think they didn't have much of a choice then. They always planned for you to be turned Alec, how can you not know that?"

Alec quickly shook his head repeatedly. His Adam's apple moving up and down rapidly, his eyes closing tight, and I swear If I didn't known better, I would of thought that he was trying not to cry.

"I was blessed. He told me I was blessed, that we--we were in good hands Nez--Good hands, _protected_-- that we--we---we were--"

Suddenly his voice broke, and his chest was heaving up and down. His body stiff and when I went to wrap my arms around him, he shoved me off. His eyes furious and weak looking.

"_DON'T PITY ME_." He snarled and I gasped, trying not to take it personally, I tried not to cry. I really did, but I couldn't stop it. I saw his pain. I felt it in my chest and it was breaking me. Eating me up whole. He really thought he was chosen by some kind of angel or something, that his power had nothing to do with it, when in reality it had everything to do with it. How Ironic. The thing that caused his death, was the reason he was still walking this earth.

"Alec…" I said, as I reached over and placed my hand on his shoulder. His body flitching from my touch.

That's when he couldn't hold it anymore. All the pain. The realization of his life and his sister's. It hit him like a ton of bricks. He knew now, and there was nothing to hold on too any longer. Nothing to grasp. No hope, no gratitude to his coven. Just the floor, to which he fell.

Alec's breathing came in gasps now and his lips quivered, as his eyes stayed shut. The sight was unbearable for me, because for the very time since I met him. Alec looked his age. Like a scared, sad boy. His body shaking, as he rolled back and forth, chanting to himself as cried the tears that wouldn't come.

"I was blessed. I was blessed. I was blessed, I know I was--"

I couldn't contained myself anymore. In all my life I had never seen such a thing. No man who looked so weak and sad, and in need of comfort. It was then that moment that I realized I was changed forever. He always was so strong. So feared by others. But now? He was the left over shell of the man I loved, and I couldn't do anything to help him. To make it go away and I couldn't understand any of what he was going through. I couldn't imagine what it feels like realize that the ones you trusted most were using you. It's never happened to me before, and I knew now that I wanted to take it away from. To go back in time and make him believe he was somehow blessed, because being in the dark meant I would have my Alec back. Then I would keep him in the dark for eternity, but I knew now that was impossible, because the fact was. I couldn't go back. It was in too late. All I could do was to make it ease from his body, and the way I thought of doing that was with a simple hug. Something that I doubt he ever felt.

"Alec.." I whispered, bending down to him and wrapping my arms around his shoulders. Pulling him to my chest and holding as tight as I could.

Alec's body slumped into my arms. Weightless, and I cradled him like he was a infant, trying to bring light into his darkness.

After a few moments of trying to catch his breath, I felt Alec's cold, hard arms wrapped around me. His face burying itself in my warm neck.

I don't know why. I don't what made me feel the need to do this now, but I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I couldn't deny him this one thing that I wanted to scream.

That one thing he wanted most.

Pulling his face in my hands, to face me. I brush my lips against his gently. Placing my cheek against his. The worlds flowing out before I could even stop them.

"I love you Alec. I love you so much."

Once the words were spoken and out in the open, I knew what I wanted in life. Who I was, and the reason behind my journey here. I also knew what I was going to do with in my future.

I was going to stay with him. Give up my life in Forks and never leave him.

It was decided.

* * *

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	16. Chapter 16: Palermo Beckons

**Chapter 16: Palermo Beckons…**

**Alec's POV**

My body was stuck in the present. Hurt, and confused by the over-whelming memories of my transformation. Where as my mind was somewhere in the seventeenth century.

Nothing was seen in my vision, nor heard. I was back in my human years, where life was simple, calm and collected. I was so pure and unaffected by anything and everything. The most important thing in my life at that time was finding a woman of good status, who would marry me and raise our future children. That's what people valued most in that time. No one bothered with technology, because there simply was none to be worried with. Not like today. I also valued family. Something that stayed with me through out my immortal life. Jane was my best and only friend. My whole world. I promised to protect her and shield her from those who would come to harm her. Jane was misunderstood a lot. We both were, and either people didn't care for us, or they cared too much for their own good. We knew of the rumors. The names people thrust upon us, but that's all they were then. Names and rumors. They didn't matter. Until I fell in love with a girl who'd come to betray my love and my trust. A girl in a lot of ways was still a child.

_Adeline._

She was beautiful. Skin like silk and eyes like crystal . Her hair was as fiery as the flames that licked my skin on the that faithful day. I can see her now as I laid in Renesmee's arms. Blurry and distorted, her laughter echoing in my ears so loud that I swear I could hear it physically.

Adeline said she loved me. She said she would keep my secret safe and that she would honor me as my wife and lover.

Despite being looked down upon, I had made love to her the night before. The first and only love making in my entire experience of living.

It was short, precious and at the time terrifying. Had I known she would come to tell the towns people of the gifts, I wouldn't of jumped into the waters so quickly. I would of waited, and perhaps spared mine and my sister's life in the meantime. But I was child. A boy in many ways, who fell for the human emotions too soon, and learned to never do it again.

Until now.

I could hear the screaming of my sister; in the process blocking my view of Renesmee. Provoking my thoughts as if I was in sort of dream. Renesmee's beautiful face disappearing around me, replaced by eyes. Red and inviting eyes. He had whispered to me that I was saved as my body began to shake. My mouth, gasping for the clean air that wouldn't come to my lungs. His lips dangerously close to my neck as he spoke to me.

'_You are blessed my boy, had I not seen the display of your death, you wouldn't be so lucky. God most love you so...'_

I took comfort in his words then. I had thought that my prayers had been answered.

That despite what I believed about myself, God had opened his arms to me in the form of this creature, giving me a second chance at life. And throughout my transformation I kept hearing how I was blessed, and like a stupid infant I believed it. He had said my gifts were some sort of bonus to my immortality, that he was not aware of. That because of the development I was invited to be apart of his family. Along with Jane, as she had powers too. We would be properly cared for, and loved by him. As if we were his children.

Thinking this, I remembered wanting to control my power. Wanting more of it for rage and revenge. The anger inside of me boiling to the point that the powers I possessed slipped away from me without me even realizing it. I had numbed ten times the people I had when I was human, quicker too. And Jane was no different. Her power had people begging for mercy; which was music to my ears.

"Alec…Did you hear me?" Nez whispered, bringing me into reality. The time shifting to the present. Though the rage still awakening within me as the memories came rushing back. A feeling of pain was surging through my chest as I pulled away from Renesmee's grasp. Her brown eyes staring at me as I took notice of the fact that I was now on my knees on the floor. Her warm embrace was tight around my neck. My body for once in over five hundred years felt weak, as if I'd been crying.

"What did you say?"

"I said I love you, and I do Alec. I love you so much, and I want-"

I cut her off with my hand to her lips, not wanting to hear anymore. She stayed frozen at my abrupt course of action.

Suddenly I got up and started pacing around the room, breaking her hold on me.

Her words repeating themselves in my ears. It was all coming back to me. I was not blessed, I was merely a tool for Aro all along. The truth had surfaced, and Nez? She had declared her love for me in hopes that it would bring me back to a more stable state. Only it hadn't. Her words had done nothing but made me more angry then before. Why was that? Why was I so stuck in my mind and my feelings that I couldn't even find it in myself to take what she said seriously?

Because I knew it meant nothing. How could it? When the one time she decided to do this was the time that I felt vulnerable. Pathetic and unimportant?

She did it to make me feel better. Out of pity and shame for letting me know the truth. That wasn't love, and it made me wonder if Nez even knew what loving someone in that way actually meant. So far I highly doubted it.

Just like Adeline.

I knew better then to think that, in fact I was enraged to even compare the two. Nez wasn't her. She was different. I felt it. My feelings for Renesmee was real, and stronger then I'd ever felt in all my life. I just wished that she felt the same, and understood the feelings I had for her. But then again, loving me would only make things worse I suppose. Make her feel like she had no choice but to be with me. She deserved better then that. She deserved better then me.

After a moment of evening out my breathing and composing myself, Nez finally got off the floor and tried to walk to me. Only to have my body tense to her touch. Her brow was now creasing with worry.

"You…You believe me. Don't you, Alec?" she asked, as I looked at her. My eyes feeling as if they burned, though I knew it to be impossible. The thing about not having broken tear ducts was that it made whole crying experience worse. Like since the tears didn't actually come, the sobs would never stop.

I didn't want her to feel like I was ungrateful for her words. I was to some extent, because I knew she said them because she wanted to help me. But in all the things I was expecting her to say; that wasn't one of them. It wasn't that I hadn't been wanting to hear those words, I had. Very badly, in fact. But under these circumstances, I couldn't find it in me to feel all warm and fuzzy inside about it. Because honestly, how could I feel good when I had just realized that my whole existence was for the purpose of one person?

I was but a puppet, a thing. A shiny object. It wasn't even just me who was being used, it was Jane also. I suppose it was foolish of me to believe that we were just picked out to be saved. But that's what I was told.

How brain-dead could I have been? To think that the Volturi actually had found mercy to thrust upon someone. I should have known the truth, it was right in front of me all those years. Aro just wanted me for the sake of having me on hand when he needed me. To show me off, to let everyone know that he had a better weapon then they had. And Jane? Well she was just icing on top of the cake, wasn't she? Jane loved the attention that came her way, she adored being feared and used that to get what she wanted. She was Aro's pet. I think that's why he always preferred her over me, I actually had a mind of my own. This isn't to say that Jane didn't; she definitely did. But I didn't -how can I say this nicely- kiss the ground he walked on, at least not anymore. I hadn't since Renesmee's arrival, and seeing her broken face over this I couldn't find it in myself to break it to her and tell her I couldn't believe her. Though I didn't. I was what she said earlier.

_Unlovable. _

And I understood that now. The one person I thought truly cared for me turned out to be the same as everyone else. Only worse because I knew better. Deep inside I should of known better then to think I was cared by anyone.

I had a family. I lost them.

I had Adeline. I lost her as well, and Nez?

She was a heaven but only mine for a short time, and she deserved more then that. Before I confessed my feelings and she, her own. We knew that this wasn't going to last forever. That our time with each other was limited. Was it really worth it?

It will all end badly regardless. Just like my life before me. Just like Aro's sister's before hers. I was beginning to think it was ridiculous to pretend otherwise, not to mention unfair to Nez as well, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't regret going on this trip with her, because it was a eye-opener for both of us. She knew how I felt, and I unfortunately knew how she felt.

"I do." I lied in a low voice, resting my head against hers. She smiled at me as if expecting me to return it, I guess. Only I couldn't. Not with everything that was going on in my head. Not when I knew it wasn't as real for her as it was for me.

"What's wrong?" she asked, biting her lip. "Why aren't you kissing or hugging me or something?"

I shook my head and leaned in to brushed my lips against hers, giving her the most sourest kiss I could conjure up. Her mouth was soft and smooth against my lips, and I wanted to be able to believe her. I wanted to be able to say that I was happy about it. But I couldn't. It was stupid of me to want the words so badly. I was stupid for a lot of things apparently.

Giving her fingers a tight squeeze, I inhaled her scent and excused myself for alone time.

Non-sexual time with myself that is.

I needed to clear my head, make sure that I wasn't as mental anymore then I already am.

Walking back to my room without looking back, I locked the door and threw myself on my bed.

I thought about Nez, Aro and oddly enough Jane.

I hated my sire now more I ever thought I could. I hated him for putting me through this with Renesmee, and I also loved him for it at the same time. Had he not assigned me to be her guard, I wouldn't of gotten the chance to be around her as much as I was. I wouldn't of acted on my emotions. Then again, I was frustrated by as well. Clearly Nez didn't feel the same. It was hurting me more then my own death, it seemed.

I thought about Renesmee then. Everything about her. Her pale, creamy colored skin. The blush that reddened her face when she was ashamed of something. I also thought of her face when she said she loved me. All light and happy, her face breaking out into a wide smile. Dimples appearing in her cheeks as she looked for my response. She seemed to really believe what she was saying. So why couldn't I? Why couldn't I set aside the nagging feeling that it wasn't real for her? Why couldn't I go into that living room and hold her. Make love to her, and tell her I loved her back? Because obviously I did. I know I did.

I just couldn't bring myself to say it now.

Thinking about this mess, I thought about my sister.

How hurt she was when we were being torn apart. The memory becoming clearer then anything else.

I tried to protect her. I tried to fight for our survival, and I failed. Just like I was failing now. When Jane realized why this was happening to us she said she hated me. She screamed it, in fact. That was to first time I should of known I was not worth loving. Jane forgave me of course, rather quickly because I was her brother and her only family left, but I would consider myself to be naïve if I believed Nez would be so forgiving when the truth of our relationship finally came out.

I was dreading that day, then again maybe I should tell her now. Maybe then she would understand that I wasn't worth this, and go home where she would be safe.

I didn't want that though. Regardless if she loved me or not I didn't want her to go away.

Thinking all these things was getting rather annoying in my old age.

"Alec?" Nez said, before opening the door.

I thought I had locked the door, I guess I was mistaken.

_What the hell? _

I didn't move a muscle. I laid there with my arm thrown over my face, as I tried to make sense of the world around me before it all crashed.

I have gotten nowhere.

I felt Nez's body settling on top of me, hand cupping my face and pulling me up in a upright position as she straddled my lap in the most innocent way. Making me face her. Her eyes were scanning my face while she bit her lip. She looked so beautiful when she was concerned. It made me almost forget my problems completely.

Almost.

Nez lowered her lips to mine, giving me a sweet kiss. I turned my face, and she got my cheek instead.

"What's wrong?" she whispered into my neck. Her mouth brushing the surface of my skin, moving up to my ear lope. The action causing me to shiver.

I sighed and gripped her face in my hands, pulling her to me. I'd rather kiss then talk about what's really bothering me.

_So mature, Alec. Really._

I kissed her with such passion that I could force.

Kissing her made things a lot easier. A heavenly distraction to the things floating in my mind, and my body seemed enjoy it. As always.

I opened her mouth with my lips and my tongue met hers, massaging it gently. Renesmee's arms wrapped themselves around my neck as I cupped her face. It wasn't until I heard her whisper 'I love you' again that I instantly turned cold.

I looked at Nez's face and saw confusion. She was making everything so difficult for me. I wanted to be with her but I couldn't get pass this, and I couldn't tell her any of it because I just didn't want to hurt her.

_I'm so in way over my head._

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, resting her forehead against mine. I inhaled and closed my eyes, trying to think of the best answer that would please her. Though I knew it was impossible, so I simply went with somewhat part of the truth.

"About the end."

Nez blinked and hid back a laugh, which puzzled me. Was it a good thing she was laughing or bad? I wasn't sure, but I knew, I had thought about the end many times on this trip. How when she got home, I'll be in Italy. How upset Aro would be because his plan had backfired, how Jane will be when she realizes I'm in love and no longer the brother she once knew. All of which I was very aware of, along with the fact that Nez didn't love me.

Sometimes, I just hated being me with all this knowledge.

"Alec, before you left me in the living room to worry about you-" she grabbed my face to meet hers, her voice sweet and low as she ran her fingers through my hair. "I was thinking about the beginning, thinking of how far we've come from hating each other to realizing how much we love each other."

I laughed at the memory of the second time I met this girl. The girl who'd come to twist my world upside down, making me a mental head case in the process.

The smile on my face felt foreign on my mouth, like it wasn't suppose to be there anymore, and I was suppose to be drowning in the past. But with Renesmee on me and talking to me, I couldn't do it. I couldn't dwell on such sadness. She was like a breath of fresh air being forced into my dead lungs.

I could feel my face going back to the unhappy state and Nez wasn't having any of that. Gripping on to my face, she shook her head. Her voice harsh and to the point.

"Don't do that. Don't be mad about laughing. It's not attractive." She said jokingly, as she tried to tilt the corners of my lips upward with her fingers. I tried desperately not to let her win but the girl was persistent and I couldn't help but laugh at her attempts.

"Are you happy now?" I whispered into her neck, as I pinned her body to the bed in vampire speed. The quick movement made her gasp and I smiled at the response. Holding her against my own body, I began to plant kisses along her jaw line, as she smiled in victory.

"I'll be happy when you tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

I groaned, and pulled away from her neck, giving her a fake shock-looking expression that she didn't buy. I was trying to hold on to the happy moment we were having. Trying to forget all the crap floating in my head but she wouldn't let me would she? She wouldn't move on. I looked at Nez and leaned in to kiss her. She laughed and pushed her hand to my chest. I just shook my head, as she raised an eyebrow in disapproval. Getting off of her completely, I laid behind her, which caused her to happily rest her head on my chest, waiting for me to open up.

"What were you thinking of the end for?" she asked, innocently as I rubbed my face with my free hand.

"It's coming…and I'm not sure I want it to. I was thinking that maybe me wanting the words to be said so badly will make the hurting worst all together."

Nez's head shot up, her face annoyed and her eyes narrowed.

"You…you regret telling me?"

"No. I don't. I just-""Good, because I don't either. And what I was trying to tell you in the living room was that the end, doesn't have to come…" Her voice trailed off, as she bit her lower lip.

I could practically see the wheels turning in her head, and I couldn't find it within myself to be happy about it. Any idea she was having wouldn't possibly make us both unhappy in the long run.

"Nez-" she shushed me with her fingers, a smile fully to her lips.

What was she thinking? Every possibility did not end well for us, I've thought of them all.

Her stay with me? Never. Going. To. Happen.

Me stay with her? Oh, I could practically see Edward's face when he see's me coming out of Renesmee's room after a long night of having sex. All horrified and disapproving. What would I even say?

'Hi there, Edward. No, I'm good, I just got done sleeping with your daughter. And all the nasty little things we did the night before you can see clear as day in your head right now. How are you? Want some human blood?'

_Yeah that will be heaven. _

As if she was reading my mind, Nez spoke with such certainty while she caressed my cheek, trying to sooth me I'm sure.

"I want you with me, Alec. Now how that's accomplished…it's just a detail."

"A detail." I nodded, as Nez's smile fell. I twist my lips together as I crawled off the bed, my hands tugging in my hair. My sour smile instantly dropped and I glared at her.

"Are you serious?!"

Nez shivered at my tone of voice, and at the moment I didn't blame her. I was getting scared myself. How could she be so naïve to think it's just a simple little detail in our relationship, when she's thinking the way that she is? Wanting me everyday? Seeing me everyday, when both sides of our families don't approve of the idea?

"Why is that so hard to understand? I'm already in Italy and my family will understand…They will!"

I looked at her dumfounded and it felt like something hit me with such a force that I couldn't do anything but try to control my rage.

She wanted to stay. In Italy. Without her family. For. Me.

I shook my head, furious.

No way in hell was I going to allow that to happen. Not now, not ever. I will not have her give her life to something that will ruin everything she believed in and take her from the ones that she loved most. I may not know a lot of her family and her relationship, but I've seen the way she spoke to them on the phone. I seen that way she looked when she heard her father's voice, and I wont take that away from her. I wont let her get stuck with Aro and be used like the rest of us. I'd rather be torn apart and die, and it made me furious that she would even consider it. Did she not understand what she was saying? What being with me would do to her? Everyday, she will won't to be away from Aro, and everyday she will be reminded that she can't. Once you join the Volturi you are theirs for good. There is not turning on that decision, and thought thr idea of seeing her everyday was tempting I knew better then to even play with the thought. She would be unhappy. She would see blood shed everyday, she'll want to be with her family. And in the end, she will blame me for that misery, as for me going with her?

Rubbish.

As I'd learned many times. Aro won't think of it. I am one of the most powerful vampires in the world. That's not something to take lightly and to just walk away with.

Aro killed his own sister for less, I can't even imagine what he would do if I even brought up the idea me leaving him…

"I wont let you. I can't."

Her brows creased together, and tilted her head. She acted like she didn't hear me or something, was I not clear enough? I thought of repeating myself, when finally Nez spoke. Her voice innocent and confused.

"Do you love me?"

I nodded, without hesitation, clearly confused, because didn't we discuss this a long time ago?

"Okay. Well I love-"

"Don't say things you don't mean, Renesmee. For my sake, just don't." I spat without even thinking, watching her face sink even more. Her eyebrows coming together, as her eyes watered, causing it to glaze over. I could see the ice in my voice and face in her eyes. Nez looked horrified at my response, like I'd killed one of her best friends or something. Guilt with a mind of its own, crept up in me and bruised my insides. As much as I didn't want to have to consider her feelings right now, I had no choice. I was in love with her, and her emotions mattered, far more then anyone else's. And if I could kick myself in the ass for doing this to her, I probably would have. Because here she was telling me she wanted to be with me forever, and what do I do? I tell her she doesn't love me so don't bother.

What a prick I've become.

If anyone else had been like that with her other then me, I'd kill them. So what makes me so different?

I have no idea.

Before I could get a response from her, I was out the room. I looked outside to see that the clouds were turning gray.

_The weather is as bipolar as I am._

Getting the shades I had brought for this trip, I placed them on my eyes and told Roberto that I was leaving for the day. I also told him that if Renesmee asked where I was, that to tell her I was out. Nothing more.

Which added more reasons for me to believe I was a prick. But I couldn't help it. I wanted to have a pity party on how I treated her. I wanted to think about what she wanted and I wanted to think about how screwed up my life is. I could blame Aro partly but in the long run I was to blame for the way I yelled at Nez. The one I loved.

Ha.

_Well, they say you hurt the ones you love the most right?_

Whoever wrote that was a genius.

I was almost halfway off the dock when I heard stomping behind me and felt a forceful shove on my back. I snapped my head around to see a very pissed off Renesmee. It seemed as though I wouldn't be escaping like I had hoped. Her whole body was shaking in anger, she looked as though she could have murdered someone on the spot and wouldn't have even blinked in remorse. I sighed and prepared myself for the battle.

"Where the hell do you think you're going!?"

"Get back on the yacht, Renesmee. I'm not asking." I ordered, pointing to the huge boat with my index finger. My words of enforcement didn't seem to faze her at all.

"You can't just say that I don't mean what I said, then leave me! Alec, the world doesn't work like that. I don't know who you think you are, but you cannot just insult me then drop me like a piece of trash! What are you thinking-"

"I'm thinking I'm wanting to get away from you right now! I'm thinking that I need time alone to think. To-" She started pushing me again, with both hands on my chest. She was very strong when she was angry, and I stumbled back; not expecting the action.

Then before I knew what was happening, my body flew back off the dock and I grabbed her arm out of reflex, pulling her with me down into the water in which we slapped into, causing a big splash. The next thing I knew I was in the ocean water. When Nez's head came up for air beside me, she gasped and coughed water into my face, her body trembling from the cold. Her hair, usually so silky and bouncy was slicked back against her head. Her eyes were wide with shock and confusion, obviously she had not realized how she had gotten from the dock into the water so soon.

Nez instinctively clung to my body at first, her arms wrapped around my neck. Then almost as quick as a switch being turned off, she pushed herself away from me, her face fuming with rage.

Perhaps this was the completely inappropriate time, but I started laughing. Hysterically, actually. I couldn't help it, I didn't even know where it came from. But all of the sudden I just couldn't stop myself.

Her face, the situation, it was just hilarious! I was laughing so hard I felt my head being thrown back, the back of my head touching the surface of the cool water. Nez looked at me, puzzled at my reaction to the circumstances. She rolled her eyes and scoffed, but then she got a horrified expression on her face and she started waving her arms dramatically.

"I'm so glad you're finding this amusing, Alec. But seriously? This...this is GROSS! I feel something on my feet! EWW! I feel dirty!" Nez screamed as she wiggled her legs frantically. This only made me laugh harder, she was so melodramatic sometimes.

"Its probably just a fish, relax!" I tried to calm her, but it didn't help. In fact, I think I made it worse.

"A FISH? I hate fish! They're all fishy and- oh no. I have something in my eye! I have fish crap in my eye! Alec! I have shit in my eye!-

"Okay! Stop moving so I can get the shit- " That's when she slapped me in the jaw by accident due to her squirming around, panicking. She really didn't have crap in her eye, it was probably just a grain of sand.

I grabbed her face firmly into my hands, causing her cheeks to puff up. It was actually kind of cute. She tried to protest, but I was stronger than she was. Obviously.

Finally I managed to get to her eye, and sure enough it was a simple, harmless grain of sand. I chuckled once again, delighted at the paranoia that was Renesmee. I'm not sure who she inherited it from, but I would have to thank them someday.

I stroked her cheek softly as drops of water ran down her smooth face, and Nez froze underneath my fingers, not expecting my tender touch. Probably against her better judgment, she closed her eyes and began to lean towards my face. Her lips had just barley touched mine, as if they were hesitant. I felt her breath enter my mouth, it tasted of sweetness.

She tilted her head slightly to get a better angle at my mouth, making the tips of our noses brush against each other. I could feel her tongue slide across my bottom lip, the simple movement along with her whimper made me all of the sudden very much aroused.

Leave it to her to make me angry one minute, amused the next, and then turned on. My mind was going completely blank; all I wanted was her lips on mine.

But she mustn't have felt the same, because she pulled back and stared at me with devastated eyes.

"You don't believe me…"

Four words, four casual words; and they sliced into me like a knife. They brought me back to my earlier mind set, my state of despair.

"I don't want to hurt you, but a part of me, yes…doesn't believe you." I admitted shamefully. I looked into Nez's eyes as they began to water, the tears threatening to spill over onto her pale cheeks. Her chin started to quiver and she shook her head as she slowly swam away from me. I felt like the lowest piece of scum the world had to offer. I hated it when she cried, even more when she cried because of me.

She tried to lift herself up onto the dock, but I was there behind her before she got a chance to pull herself out. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her to me. She didn't even protest. Her body was stiff and shaking even more than before. I turned Nez's body around and held her to my chest, her face buried into my shirt. After a few moments, I lifted her face to meet mine and kissed each of her cheeks, wiping the tears away with my lips. She looked down, avoiding my gaze.

"This doesn't mean that I don't love you, Nez. You have no idea how much I love you." I tried reassuring her.

"You can love me but I can't love you? Is that what you're saying?"

"I think what you're feeling is devotion, and that you're confusing it for something stronger."

She started to shake her head no to that at once, all the while I was still talking.

"I'm not saying you don't care for me, but your timing is a little off. You said you wanted to wait until the moment felt right for you. And you chose out of all the times to say it when I was at my weakest point-"

"Are you implying that I somehow take pleasure in being the stronger person? You think I liked seeing you sad? It tore me up inside knowing I couldn't do anything to help you! I felt useless-"

"Exactly. You said the one thing to make me feel better…"

"You have it all wrong! I said it to make _me _feel better!" She protested, her voice raising instantly in annoyance. I could feel my eyebrows pull together in confusion.

What did she mean, she did it to make herself feel better? That didn't make any sense whatsoever, even if she really did love me, it still wouldn't make any sense.

Before I could ask her what she meant by that, she pulled out of my grasp and got up onto the dock. Drips of water followed her rapidly as, falling onto the wood. I was on the dock too in an instant. I wasn't going to let her out of my sight. Not until the explained herself.

Nez started to ring out the end of her dress, trying to get rid of access water. I stared at her for a moment with narrowed eyes, waiting for her to say something. She said nothing, so I took it upon myself to get the information I needed. She couldn't just say something so bizarre then expect me to drop it.

I am such a hypocrite.

"What does that mean, Renesmee? So help me, if you don't answer…" I warned, lowering my voice, sounding deadly. Her own eyes light up in a smile, glistening. She was entertained for some very strange reason. Did she think I was joking? I was anything but.

"Ooh, I'm shaking in my fuck me boots, really." She said sarcastically, shaking her head. I rolled my own eyes at the horrible memory of her in those things. But my mind couldn't linger there for long, there was too much to deal with at present time.

Nez scoffed and started walking back towards the yacht, I was prepared to follow her but she spun on her heal and a few strides. Her face was a little softer, but I could still see the fury behind the exterior. Her lips pulled down into a disappointed frown and she sighed deeply, looking out into the ocean.

"I can't tell you if you're not prepared to hear me out," she began, and I cocked an eyebrow at the statement. "Are you going to listen or are you going to run away from me again?"

I only nodded in agreement, giving her the leverage she obviously needed to continue. Nez licked her lips, and took another deep breath as she stared me deep in the eyes.

"I said it because I was finally getting something out that I needed to say. I said it because it made me feel…free of the emotions that had me locked inside. I wanted to tell the person who I thought loved me, that I felt the same things. I thought you would- I just figured you'd be…pleased." Her voice cracked, and she tried to blink back more tears from escaping. I took a step towards her but she held out her hand to stop me, indicating to let her finish. My chest tightened up. What more was there to say?

"I didn't plan on this, you know. I didn't fly all the way out to Europe to fall in love with you, Alec. Because I _know _you are the last being on this planet I should have ever started to care about. You're cocky, self centered, pigheaded, unreasonable and you feed on humans, the one thing that I cannot tolerate. But I can tolerate you; I have no choice but to because if I couldn't…that means that we couldn't be together. And if we're not together, I don't…feel like myself. I understand that there are a million reasons why we shouldn't be together, and why it couldn't work out. And that there are so many people who are against it. But I'm not thinking about them right now, all I can think about is you. I mean, I came out here to find out who I was, and I can't even do that because all I _see _is you! I don't even remember what I was like before I met you, I am who I want to be when I'm with you. Because you make me feel bold, and loved in a way that I never thought was possible for me. You make me feel like a actual person; a woman. I don't know what else to say to try to make you understand…"

I stood there. Dumbfounded. My mouth was slightly opened, hanging in the air like a moron. I blinked, fearing if I didn't my eyes would pop out. I was also scared if I said anything I would ruin everything, because I really couldn't afford to do that right now. My feelings were everything now, scattered. A part of me lunged at her words desperately, and another part still held back, clinging to his comfort-zone. I wanted to smack that side out of me.

In my stunned state, she must have gotten impatient for some sort of life response. I don't blame her, truthfully I was acting like an idiot at this time. Standing there, gawking. I was as stupid as the fish that swam in the ocean.

"Just forget it. None of it registers in your head. Clearly, I was mistaken to even think-"

"Say it again." I cut her off. And this was no request, it was plain and simple. A pleading demand. I was anxious to hear them again, I needed them. Now, more than ever. It was like there was something inside of me that finally clicked in realization that maybe, just maybe she was actually telling the truth. That she could really love me. It was absurd, of course. Absolutely ridiculous!

I was Alec, one of the word's most feared vampires, a guard who saw to many death to even think about counting. Whose probably done more then half of them myself.

People has fantasized on taking me out, literally. She was Renesmee, the innocent yet extremely desirable girl from Forks, Washington. The apple of everyone's eye. The daughter of Edward Cullen for crying out loud.

That says it all right there.

Not to mention claimed by someone else, someone who had known her since birth.

This all seemed to irrelevant though. It was only a very small speck to a two-thousand piece puzzle.

Nez's eyes stared into mine with bewilderment. Her head shaking no slowly.

"If I said it now, what makes it so different then before? What, you're gonna' suddenly believe me? Some how I'm very doubtful. Jeez, I wonder why."

I could understand her reasoning's. Hell, I was still reluctant myself. And she had a point. What makes this time different? I suppose it was because of me. I wasn't crying or feeling like I wanted to end my own life. I was some what stable, and I can see her eyes more clearly than before. They were light, and full of this unknown aura that I couldn't recognize. I couldn't place my finger on it but I knew that look on her face. It mirrored my own.

Taking a few steps towards her, I simply shrugged my shoulders and thought of the one thing that would make her say it. The one thing that would drive her over the edge.

"You're right. I shouldn't ask something like that from you. Not with your heart belonging to someone else. Someone on all fours that is…?"

She was in my face within a second, a hiss breaking between her teeth, as I smirked. Getting the exact response that I was looking for.

Renesmee never seemed to disappoint me, did she?

"Take that back."

I shook my head, my smile widening into a full on grin. She pushed my shoulders like before, only this time I was more prepared than the last. I gripped on to her wrists firmly, and twisted her back into my chest. Her heart pounded at the sudden turn of things. Her body clung to me and I couldn't be more happy about it. Her clothes soaking wet; causing my hands that kept her in place to feel her erect nipples. I couldn't help myself. In a slow movement, I glided one of my thumbs against the delicate skin underneath the fabric. I felt her tremble against my body; only making my own erection brushing against her from behind.

This was so not an appropriate time to make an appearance, but like I said before: I just can't help it. I peeked over her shoulder to see that her eyes were closed shut and she was biting her lower lip.

"Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Yes. Am I succeeding?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Take it back."

"Not until you say it."

She groaned and once again struggled to get free of my grasp. Out of the pure kindness of my heart, I let her think she actually did. Once she was out of my arms, I only turned her around once more to face me, taking her shoulders in my hands. Nez looked down at her feet, trying to put it off. But I wasn't exactly in the mood to play around. Not anymore. I _had _to hear her say it again. As a confirmation.

"I'm begging you, Renesmee. Please…if you say it, then I know you're saying it in the right moment. I don't know I just feel like you do, for some reason I can see it in your face. I just want- no I need. I need-"

I couldn't say anymore due to her fingers on my lips, hushing me gently. Her eyes were soft and affectionate now, I was so damn happy to see her not so bitter. That we were getting in the right direction, at last.

I swallowed, anticipating it so much I could practically taste it. Nez looked straight into my face, no indication that she was scared now. I stopped breathing then. She had never looked so beautiful as she did in that moment. Nez traced my jaw line with her thumb and stroked my neck. It was probably one of my most pleasurable feelings I'd ever experienced. It even surpassed sex.

"I love you." She whispered, her eyes watering again. She leaned against my lips, closing he eyes; as I did the same. "God help me, I love you so much…" She whimpered. I then captured her lips with mine. It was like everything around me broke away and I was seeing things very clearly for the first time. Feeling things that I'd never felt before. It felt good. So unbelievably incredible. I was on some sort of high, none like I'd ever experienced. It was better than anything I'd ever felt. Better then feeding when been starving for three weeks. Better than any torture I could give anyone for revenge. It was just simply better.

It made me feel as though my heart was beating in my chest. So long I'd felt so cold and now, some of her warmth was finally rubbing off on me.

I felt _alive_.

Cupping her face in my hands, I started to place butterfly kisses along her jaw, and everywhere else that I could touch. Her mouth broke into the biggest smile I'd ever seen it. It could have literally lit up the grey sky with its loveliness.

"I. Love. You. So much, Nez. It's indescribable how your words effect me."

"You believe me now? How?"

"I just feel it." I whispered, brushing my lips against her, and placing her left hand over my chest, wishing now more then ever that it would spring to life for her. To physically show her how she made me feel right now knowing that she loved me back. Nez bit her lip and rested her head against my chest as if she was desperately trying to hear the sounds of my dead heart.

"All I wanted was to feel it. I was just so mad and confused and Aro-""I understand, you don't-"

"No, Nez. I was horrible to you and I tried to keep it to myself, I tried to push my disbelief away and…I can't even understand how you can just stand here and tell me you love me after how I-"

I didn't even get a chance to finish my own freaking sentence. For Renesmee's mouth was on me now. There was no room for talking.

"Your emotionally screwed up, Alec. I already knew that from the first day I met you. And you shouldn't feel bad for how you feel. You should however feel bad about not telling me this before."

"I didn't want to ruin the trip." I said honestly, resting my forehead against hers. I sighed deeply, thinking again of how much I didn't deserve her. But I was too selfish to put that thought to action; I needed her. Now that I knew she loved me, I'll do anything to keep it that way. I didn't even want to think about when we got back home and what Aro would say. I also sure as hell didn't want to think about his wishes. The thought alone made me feel sick. I couldn't deal with that right now, I wouldn't let him ruin my happiness again. Not this time.

"Well today isn't over yet. Make it up to me and take me somewhere. Anywhere. Because believe it or not I'm starting to get a little stir crazy."

"I knew it." I laughed loudly and pulled away from her, smiling broadly. She didn't return the smile, instead the frowned and looked out into the sea.

"My shoes are in the water…I lost them." She admitted pathetically. She sounded like a child whose lollipop got taken away from her by an older brother. Well, I couldn't have that, now could I?

Looking out into the water, sure enough I saw a flip-flop floating off. There was no getting them both back, not with the current taking it out to sea. I looked down at my own shoes and noticed that they were completely wet; destroyed. They were very expensive too. Oh well, I had more.

In a swift move, I bent down and took them both off. I then threw them out into the water as far as I could. Nez raised an eyebrow, her eyes wide. She actually made a little squeaky noise of shock. It was kind of sweet, and I couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face. I gathered she thought I would never do such a thing. I'd never done it before but it was kind of liberating; spontaneous.

"Why did you do that?"

"Didn't want your shoes to drift off into the sunset by themselves. As we speak they're probably making baby booties." I said in a silly voice, nudging her side with my elbow.

"Well at least our alter egos are getting some…"

I turned to look at her, appalled. So much for joking.

"That's not funny."

She chose not to answer me, but she did however grab my hand and started to drag me off the dock into the street. After walking a few strides, I looked down and saw a long yellow strip that read PALERMO in black letters.

Home sweet home.

I took the sun glasses out of my pocket, that we soaking, and put them on. Nez looked at me approvingly.

"You know, you look kinda' sexy with those on." She complimented, and I smiled in response.

"I know, right?"

She punched me lightly in the arm with a giggle. It was so strange to be normal with her. Putting all the drama of us getting together aside and just talking. Its been ages since I've had a conversation with someone that was outside of my coven; besides her at least. Hell, its been ages since I've been outside of Volterra by myself. If ever; Jane's always been with me. Or Felix, or Demitri. Basically, I never went alone anywhere. Aro thought me and Jane needed guards on our missions, even though we were guards. Now that I think of it, its very strange. But nonetheless, I was like to be alone with Nez, even if my master didn't know anything about it. Yet.

Walking through the streets, I looked up at the sky and saw the grey clouds, I was lucky for the overcast, and was hoping that it would stay this way all day long.

Once we got past the dock area were suddenly surrounded by ton of people. Of all ages, young, old, some with families some without. My only guess that it was some kind of market, because there were carts filled with all kinds of things in every corner. Making the marketplace feel very over-populated and crowded. People screaming out prices and holding up signs. I looked at Nez for her response and she looked as happy as ever. Excited even.

"It's so…different." she whispered into my ear, and I just nodded in agreement.

It was very different from what I remember. Of course my memory wasn't exactly accurate. All I can remember is the bad things. The darkest places, the cruelest people. Everything now was so full of life and active. It was as if it wasn't my home at all. Which would make me some what glad, had it not felt like home. Thinking this, I gripped on to Nez's hand and brought it to my lips. She looked at me; curious and concerned.

"It's not that pretty…" she said bitterly and I couldn't help but love her for the effort she was putting in to make me feel better.

I pulled her along as we walked through the market. Every once in a while Nez would comment on the food, saying what looked good and what looked down right disgusting. I couldn't blame her on half of them. Octopus' did not look appealing in the slightest. Even if I were human, I'd rather die then eat that stuff.

Once we came to a stand that drew Renesmee's attention, we stopped and got her something to drink, along with two pairs of flip-flops that Nez considered to be to die for. Thus, me buying myself a pair. They were the most hideous objects to ever displayed on my feet. Her shoes were cute, where as mine. Not so much.

Looking down at my feet, ashamed for ever being seen with them, I caught a glance of a group of adolescent boys. Aka hormonal teenage American boys checking out Nez's ass, whistling no less.

She was completely oblivious of course, as most girls usually are.

I didn't even realize that I was starting to walk in their direction until I was right in front of them. Okay, not exactly the most mature move to make, but I couldn't stop myself.

The boys stopped smiling when I approached and looked me up and down. I smirked and folded my arms across my chest, tilting my head slightly.

"See something you like, boys?" I snarled, not really knowing what was coming over me. It was like all of the sudden I felt this rage. This need to shield Nez and show everyone she was _mine. _Its not as though I could blame these guys. Renesmee was after all very attractive in ways only imaginable. But they were so obnoxious about it, no respect whatsoever. They didn't even care that I was standing right next to her.

One of the taller boys stepped a little closer to me, indicating that he was probably the head of their "group." He had dirty blonde hair that was in a short crop. He was tan; slender; blue eyes and definitely not from around here. Of course I'd already known that.

He flashed a smile and glanced back at Nez who was still looking at something from one of the carts.

"C'mon, man. I mean look at her. She's hot!" He said with a laugh, placing his hand on my shoulder as if I was a close friend of his. I looked down at the mutant's hand on my shoulder and it took everything I had not to personally remove his hand from his body. It was probably a good thing I had my glasses on, even though I wanted to take them off just to scare the child. I flicked the hand off my shoulder with my middle finger, quite forcefully I might add. The boy snapped his hand away instantly, wincing. No doubt that'd leave a bruise.

"Shit! What's your problem?"

"If you value your eyesight, I recommend looking elsewhere, and not at a girl who belongs to someone else."

"I don't see a nametag on her…" One of the boys from the group added. They all laughed at the statement. Stupid idiots. I could snap their necks before they could blink. Fold them like a pretzel and send them back to America in little boxes. I laughed out loud at the thought, completely amused at thinking of the shape they'd come out in. I suppose they thought my sudden laughter was in agreement to their stupidity, but I was nowhere near what they were thinking about.

I wasn't normally this possessive. But there was something just about these guys, and the fact that it was Nez involved that made me want to shed blood. I was about to do just that when I felt a very warm body being pressed up against me. Lips on my mouth at once, a familiar tongue slipping in between my teeth. The groan that escaped my mouth was all too familiar as well.

I pulled back slightly to see Nez give me a secretive wink that only I could see, I smiled in return and pulled her closer to me. My mouth found her neck and I smirked against it, enjoying this moment perhaps a little too much. I could hear one of the guys clear his throat and shuffle his feet. Another one scoffed. Victory was in the air.

"Alec…you left me all high and dry, we were suppose to be heading back to…well I don't want to mention things that shouldn't be said in the presence of children." She teased with a glance to the group of guys who's mouths were now open in shock. I held back laughter as I continued to kiss her throat.

"My apologies, I was merely discussing-"

"No more talking. Lets leave the little boys and go do something useful with our hands." My eyes widened at the idea. I was instantly hard at the way she was talking. She giggled and tugged on my hand to pull me away. When I thought it couldn't get any better she called out to the guys:

"Oh, for the record? I don't need a nametag, I've been marked with…something else."

I couldn't help the laughter now that escaped my mouth as I saw their faces.

"Well…we were totally owned." I heard the blonde one mutter with a chuckle, as the other guys hit him across the head for admitting defeat. I had to admit that was the highlight of my day so far.

Walking down the street with Nez, I stopped her and shook my head,

"Marked with something else, hmm?" I questioned as she shrugged with a girlish smile to her lips. I cupped her face and leaned my face closer to hers, inhaling her scent. "My girlfriend is a pervert."

"Don't pretend you don't like it," she replied suggestively, brushing her lips against mine. She was about to really kiss me when something must have startled her. She pulled away, giving me a weird face.

"Did you just call me-" I crushed my lips against hers before she could finish her question, tugging urgently.

We were lost in the moment when I heart light footsteps approach us along with a faint heartbeat. I looked over Nez's shoulder to see who would have the nerve to interrupt us.

There stood a 3'4 little human girl with the biggest brown eyes I think I'd seen in a long while. They were bigger than Nez's even. She had long, dark wavy hair, and traditional Italian naturally tanned skin. Her clothes were clean; she had on a light yellow dress that came down to her knees and sandals on. She held a smile on her face and a orange lily in her hand; offering it up to Nez.

Renesmee took one look at the girl and squealed excitedly. She knelt down on her knees so she could be face level with her and smiled right back at her. The girl seemed pleased.

"Hi, sweetie…what's your name?" Nez asked. Instead of the little girl answering, the shoved the flower in Nez's face, insisting upon her taking it. The smile never left her little mouth.

"Per lei…" She said, and Nez glanced up at me.

"What did she say?" She demanded.

"The flower, its for you."

"Awww! Grazi! Alec- give her money."

"Give her…what?"

"_Euro_! Dough? The green?

"You mean lira?"

"Whatever! Just give it to her-" Nez turned her to look at the little girl again only to find her missing. I already was aware of this fact. She had giggled at Nez's outburst and ran off. Nez's face dropped at the absence of her new friend, then got up to her feet to glare at me.

"You scared her! Did you take off your glasses?" She complained, acting more like a little girl than the actual child did. As she said this she glanced around in every direction, looking for the kid. She was nowhere to be seen. "You made her leave." She whined then starting to walk in the direction of the docks. I'm surprised she even remembered what way to go.

I groaned and followed after her reluctantly. What else was I suppose to do? Last time I left her alone she was drugged.

There's no way on this planet I was going to have that happen again. So what other choice did I have besides making sure she didn't fall on her own feet? With luck we had, she'd probably in up in the ocean again.

Pacing after her, Nez didn't take notice of me following her, either that or she was ignoring me completely, which wouldn't be surprising.

"Nez…"

"Nope. I'm not talking to you, you scare children away." she accused, her voice all snippy and her nose stuck in the air. The tone was actually quiet annoying to say the least. Once the lovely yacht came into view, I gripped her forearm and turned her to face me. A smirk to my lips.

"You can't stay mad at me forever, and besides…" I trailed off kissing her temple. "I didn't show her my eyes. They're only for your viewing pleasure." I whispered, and continued to move my mouth over her delicious skin. Nez moaned slightly, biting her lips as I worked my hands up her bare back.

"You're evil."

"Yes, I am but you love me anyways…"

She pushed away from me and started walking into the door, once I knew people weren't looking, I ran in vamp speed and collected her in my arms. Nez yelped in alarm and started laughing as I threw her over my shoulder, pacing myself towards her bedroom.

"Alec! Put me- Ahhh!" I ran faster, laughing the whole way and once we were behind the bedroom door, I threw her to the bed, pinning her body under mine.

"See…evil."

I laughed and gave her a devilish grin and kissed her. My hands moved freely under her dress, her skin feeling heavenly against my cold fingertips. Nez's breathing hitched in excitement, as she started kissing me more forcefully, I pulled away to look at her and saw the lust in her eyes, that matched my own. I then began to kiss down her neck, my tongue brushing against her collar-bone. Her hands began gripping the back on my shirt, pushing it up further until it came completely over my head.

Her hands roamed the curves of my back, clutching onto the belt of my jean, keeping me in place.

She felt so good under me. The way her body fitted into mine, my apparent hard-on pushing into her inner-thigh. Her heart beat was racing so much that I thought it was going to combust in her chest. The fabric of my jeans tightened, as my erection grew with need for release.

The longer we kissed, the more intense they became. Renesmee's moans became more and more aggressive as I grinded up against her. My breathing was coming out in pants and groans. My hands forcefully cupped her breasts, moving under the annoying bra that held them.

"Alec…" Nez growled in my ear, my body tensing at the sound. "What are you thinking about?"

I looked down at her, releasing the nipple that was in between my thumb and index finger. I found myself completely amused that she would be asking me this now of all times.

Wasn't it perfectly clear? Didn't my body show it all at?

I had to bite back a laugh as I rolled off her, my body resting against my elbow.

"Can you not tell?"

"Well yeah but….You know in virtual detail of what I've been thinking about since we got on this yacht, and I have no idea if you even think about-"

"You mean, do I imagine us…doing…stuff?"

She nodded, turning her body to face me as she bit her lower lip and blushed a shade of pink.

Oh what to tell her? Which one?

I have to admit I had many in my head. The positions, the words being said. All of which would possibly scar her for life. But she wanted to know. Who was I to deny her of her wish?

"Are you really sure you want to know?" I asked, wanting to be positive she was prepared for what I had to say. She nodded again, and I sighed deeply.

Well, she asked for it.

"In my head I imagine parting those pretty little legs of yours in all kinds of different positions that please me the most, making you so wet that we'd have to change the sheets- but I don't tire all that easily. Next, I would encourage you to move your mouth so far down my body that you can't help but take me in your mouth. Your lips, soft, warm and wet on me; consuming me, making me throb so much that I can't help but push your head further so you can take me in deeper. You begin to lick, your tongue swirling around me. And just when I think about it not getting any better, you start sucking on me eagerly, your mouth moving back and fourth as if you can't get quite enough. In fact, you enjoy it so much that you can't help but come yourself, moaning as your body quivers over me, your nails digging into my chest as I'm ready to release myself. Do you pull back? Hardly. Actually, you prepare yourself by looking up at me, a smile in your eyes. And then suddenly, you drown in me as I come in your mouth, swallowing it without so much as a blink, licking your lips afterwards just to make sure you got all of it. Now, how's that for a visual, Miss Cullen?" I tried to give her as much detail my mind could muster; which was a lot.

Nez simply stared at me, her eyes huge and her mouth making an 'O' shape. I could see the wheels turning in her head, the images flashing through. I could see the pulse jumping in her neck quickly. She was probably coming up with more detail than I had, and I loved that I left her speechless. I suppose I would be worried whether or not I disturbed her, but by the smell of things, it didn't seem that way at all. In fact, she seemed to be more wet than she had been when we were making out. I made a mental note to tell her all of my fantasies down the road.

After a few moments of silence and her biting her thumb, I jumped off the bed and walked to the door.

"I'll leave you to your thoughts, then."

"What- what about your shirt?"

"Oh, I'll leave it here so you have something to cuddle up with tonight." I teased as she glared at me. I smirked as I turned the doorknob. Before I exited the room, I shot a glance back at her. "Oh, and Nez?" She looked up at me without saying a word, her mouth still parted.

"Sweet dreams…" With that, I shut the door and walked to my own room, bracing my back against the wall once I had gotten there.

How much longer was I going to be able to hold out? I loved her; I should be able to take it further. But the other part of me thought it was just what Aro wanted. And she was already thinking about staying with me, that didn't help things at all. Not for me at least.

Kissing her tonight, I wanted to do more. What man wouldn't? She was begging for it, her body speaking to me. And now, my own sick pleasures were running through her mind as well? That just made matters worse!

I peeked out the window, noticing it was finally night. In that same moment, I heard drops of rain hit the top of the roof of the yacht, and bouncing off the deck.

I needed a shower. A cold one.

It was so conflicting. Wanting something; being able to take it but not. Why the hell did I just tease her? Did I like the torture? No, not exactly. Well, then I knew that she didn't like it any better. Damn it, I'm a dick. A full on dick that wasn't getting any! Literally!

I'm a pig too.

I was in love in with a woman that I was suppose to seduce.

Thinking of the situation, I got in the shower and tried to clear my mind. It didn't work.

After moments of the water running over my body, I finally got out and pulled on a pair of boxers, staring into the mirror. I didn't like the reflection I saw. How did this happen to me? How did I get here? As I was thinking these thoughts, the lights suddenly dimmed in the bathroom. Before I could turn around to see what was going on, I felt that warm body pressed up behind me once more. I thought it was one of my fantasies, but when I felt lips brush against my shoulder blade and the back of my neck, I realized this was very real.

"Let me make love to you…" Her voice whispered. I knew all my instincts told me to fight this, like everything else. That I should tell her the truth before it was too late. To stop her, that she was making a huge mistake.

But the only thought I could produce was:

_Finally._

* * *

**Writer's Note: Okay, we know you're going to be furious with us....we're all ears for when you bitch us out for leaving it there. But we have a reason!! Its of course to torture you all ;) Besides that, our beta is currently struggling with a migrane, so she wasnt able to do much work. When she's better she'll edit out mistakes. :) Be patient! We have almost 380 reviews and we're still blown away at the response! Thanks to you all! Remember to check out our tweets [ /IITMx3 ] and our formspring [ formspringme/IITM ] and our blog which you can find a link to on our profile. We have music on it, go check it!! Listen to the song Animal by Ke$ha, that song inspires us for the next chapter..when you listen you'll know why ;)**

**Thanks and byeee!!! **


	17. Chapter 17: When Gravity Pulls

_**Warning for sexual content. If you don't like our lemons, go get your own dang oranges!**_

**Chapter 17: When Gravity Pulls **

**Renesmee's POV **

In my head, all I could see was Alec's penis. As wrong as that might be, immature and childish, I didn't care. I imagined it up close, and how it would feel in my mouth. Cold, hard, smooth and erected. As I lay in my bed, I could feel the wetness in between my legs moistening with each thought that passed through my brain. His little fantasy was more than I had been expecting, and I sure didn't expect to feel like _this. _I was aroused, on edge and annoyed.

I had never felt this frustrated. This hunger. Granted; I'd been very needy before. But this was beyond belief, beyond my own control. What has he done to me? It was like all the animal instincts in my body told me to go to him. But I had to remain poised and level headed. I didn't want to come off as some bitch in heat, even though clearly I was.

_I definitely am._

If I had to go through one more session of him leaving me, I think I might pull my hair out. My boobs were pulsing, hurting, screaming to be touched. Every little cell in my body was reacting to him, and he wasn't even in the room anymore! I tried to behave, lay here in my bed. But all I got was twisting and turning.

Hell, I was tempted to make myself feel good. But somehow I couldn't bring myself to do it because in all honestly, I didn't really know how.

My body was shaking with need and desire. It was as if someone had taken away cocaine from a druggie and I was feeling the after effects. I even tried going to sleep, that did no good. Finally I gave up. I jumped out of bed and quickly changed my clothes. My panties seriously needed to be washed now, and it just felt plain gross on my skin. Heck, I felt gross in my own skin. Period.

I dunked my head in my bathroom sink, washing my hair. After all, I had been in sea water today. That was a disgusting experience to say in the least. I used my lavender shampoo and lathered it in, digging my nails into my scalp to get some of the frustration out. The only thing that I accomplished was a sore head that was possibly bleeding in some areas.

Or maybe that was just my imagination.

Rinsing the shampoo and conditioner out, I stood back up and began to pace around my room. Now all I could think about was his lips.

Looking at the door that he had left in, I stared at it like there were daggers shooting out of my eyes; tempting me. Only a few steps away from him. Then, I thought about his words: I love you.

He loved me and I loved him. And I had waited long enough.

This was it. I couldn't take it anymore.

I very slowly opened the door and peeked out into the hall, making sure he wasn't out there spying on me. Knowing him I wouldn't be surprised. Also, I made sure that Roberto was sleeping. I could hear snoring coming from the other end of the yacht, I was in clear.

I tiptoed down the hall towards his room. I could see the light come through the cracks, and I also heard a shower running. He was taking a shower?

_He's naked. _

It was as if he was getting prepared for me.

The only thing I could hear now was my heart pounding in my ears as I opened his door very slowly. The first thing I did was inhale the scent of the room: Alec. It smelled like Alec. Sweet, like cinnamon. There was definitely no turning back now. I locked the bedroom's door quickly, preparing for any interruptions.

It was like I was not being lead by anything else other than sheer adrenaline and lust. Though I knew better than that. I knew I should have second thoughts on what I wanted to do. But my heart kept telling me to go.

As I walked to the bathroom door, I began to get dizzy with anticipation, my stomach was in knots. My legs began to shake. For someone so sure of what I wanted, I was awfully nervous.

It was pouring rain outside. The sound of thunder made me jump a little, with me being in my state, anything would.

Once I opened the door to the bathroom, the first thing I was hit with was steam. It smelled heavenly and made my skin tingle. Through the fog I could make out his figure, staring into the broken mirror, as if he was focusing on his own thoughts. Alec's hands were gripping onto the cabinet, bracing himself. I wonder what he was thinking about. If he was annoyed as much as I was or was it something completely different. His red eyes were narrowed, lips a thin line and much to my disappointment, I could see that he was wearing a pair of boxers. Those wouldn't be much of a problem though. Easily discarded.

I closed my eyes, and took it upon myself to turn down the lights, figuring that would give him a warning that I was here. Would he reject me? I doubt it. The way he kissed me today, I knew he wanted more. And the way he teased me? I half expected him to do something else. When he didn't I almost cried. No joke.

Seeing his head pop up at the lights, I took that as my cue to walk up behind him swiftly. My heart was humming against my ribs as I took his shoulders in my hands, bracing him against me. I began to kiss his smooth, hard shoulder blades, tasting him with my mouth. He tasted so good, and I loved the way his skin felt under my lips. The contact made me tremble with nerves. His body stiff under my arms.

It was now or never, I might as well say it.

"Let me make love to you…" I whispered into his ear, letting my finger tips run along his nipples and chest.

I saw in the mirror that his eyes were sewed shut and his breathing became rigid. For a second there I thought he might've actually rejected me after all.

I was mistaken.

_Thank God._

Alec quickly turned around and he pulled me by the neck close to his face to lock our lips together.

The kiss held promise for what's to come, and I couldn't be more happy. I wanted him and it felt surreal that he was finally going to give in to me, after all this time we were going to be together in every physical way.

My nerves began to make me shudder as my hips were pressed up against his, My hands twisting in his hair, and my center pounding with need for him. My heart was rising up in my chest, making breathing all the more impossible. It wasn't long before I wanted to seize him entirely, and I realized my legs were being wrapped around his waist. He pushed me against the cabinet of the bathroom, the blood in my veins rushing throughout my body with anticipation. His lips were possessive and rough, his teeth braced against my mouth, forcing my own to open as he slid his tongue in, which I conquered.

To say his tongue tasted amazing in my mouth, would be a understatement.

I could hear myself moaning out loud as his hands slid down my back to heave my body up, pushing his body closer to mine even more, My nipples hardened, his firm chest felt incredible pressed up against me. I gripped onto his shoulders and grinded my body against his desperately, wanting no friction between us. I then took his earlobe in my mouth, biting and licking at it urgently. All the while he was breathing hard on my jaw line, his cool and sweet breath tickling my skin. I could hear a groan escape his opened mouth as I lowered myself on his body. I tightened my feet around his hips, making the area between my legs push against the bulge of his boxers. Where I wanted to be the most. I continued to grind myself against him in an almost circular motion, not wanting to stop the movement of our bodies. It felt so good, and yet it wasn't close enough. He let out a low hiss in his throat, placing me on the countertop of the bathroom. He stood between my legs that were spread open, my knees in the air as my feet were propped against the edge of the counter. His hands were gripping at my outer thighs, his nails digging into my skin through the thin fabric.

I wanted the clothes gone. I wanted skin to skin contact. To feel every part of him and for him to feel every part of me.

His mouth traveled down my jaw to my neck, sucking and nibbling. Despite the fact Alec was freezing cold, where his lips left, fire replaced it. Chills were everywhere in my body, the pulsing between my legs was emerging to an all new high. I needed him _everywhere_.

I wanted his mouth on every corner of me. I just wanted him inside me.

Moving the strap from my shoulder, I found his teeth gaze across my skin and I let out an embarrassing moan that came from nowhere.

"Bedroom-" He choked out, and before I knew it he picked me up and I was on the bed, laying flat on my back. I stared up at him in wonder.

The room was dark, not pitch black, but dark enough to where I only saw a shadow of his form and his red eyes that glistened with need as his body hovered over mine.

"Lift for me…" He whispered in my neck, and I did as he instructed, my heart dropping in my stomach. He ever so slowly removed my shirt over my head. Once the tank top was out of the way and my full upper body was exposed to him, he gently pushed me back down on my back and began to -again, very slowly- slide off my sleep pants. With each inch my pants away from me the more excited I got. I remembered then that I had forgotten to put on another pair of panties. I wasn't complaining. The quicker the better I thought.

I also realized this was the first time Alec was seeing me completely naked. The knowledge alone made me blush and a wave of shivers ran all over my entire body. His eyes were traveling all over me, drinking it all in little by little. The flash of lightening through the window provided the lighting I needed to see his face. The look in his eyes only made me more anxious for his touch.

_When was he going to touch me? _

I wanted him to feel me so badly. I actually ached in need for him, and most importantly I wanted him naked as well. Equal the playing field a bit.

He was still studying my body when he trailed his fingernails up my thighs. My eyelids fluttered at how close he was.

"You belong to me, Renesmee. _Lei è il mio…_" My heart lunged at the way he said that. His eyes were bearing into mine with such intensity.

Alec ran his hands down my stomach, tracing the curves of my hips. They jerked upward at his touch. His face showed a boyishly smile at my reaction.

My hands started to shake as I tried to grab the waistband of his boxers, I had waited long enough for those things to be removed. I guess he hadn't been feeling the same because his hands stopped mine, his fingers gripping my own.

"So impatient. I'm not ready for that yet, la mia Perla. Not even close. I want to take my time pleasuring you, so much that I want you to beg. I want the ecstasy to be so unbearable, as you have been to me since I first met you." The only answer I could maintain was a mumble deep in my throat, which was becoming very dry. My thoughts screaming at me.

As he positioned himself above me, his chest smothering my own causing my nipples to twitch. Alec grinned to himself, his eyes lighting up with inspiration and mischief as if he got his first plan of torture. My stomach fluttered in impatience.

His mouth drifted down my neck, my head was thrown back against the pillows as my hands gripped the sheets. Even though I had an idea of what he was about to do, I still would never be equipped for it. I felt like I was going to float away any moment. How did he have such control? Such composure? Maybe in another three-hundred years I'll understand the concept of waiting. But not now.

His lips found their way to my left breast, taking the nipple whole in his mouth. The instant he did so I cried out in bliss, as I felt his tongue salvage the sensitive skin. My hands were in his hair now, holding on for dear life, urging him to take more. I arched my body, and I felt his right hand supporting my back, as if to stable me.

I felt his teeth take my hard tip between them and tugged lightly, even as his teeth bit down I could still feel his tongue slide from between them and glaze my skin. My breathing was very harsh now, coming in and out of my nose. I never knew anything could feel this wonderful. His tongue was like a magic marker that made everything unbelievably amazing.

Alec moved his mouth to the other nipple, giving it the same amount of affection as the last. And once again I quivered with yearning. I could feel this pressure building around me, and I didn't know where it came from. All I knew, was that I needed more.

_Oh my- am I about to-_

He stopped his lips cold turkey on my body, and the pressure began to fade, but not completely. Instead, it was replaced by that same longing ache that consumed my lower region, along with a very sore nipple. I whined at the abruption of his change of pace; I heard him chuckle in delight.

"_Alec…_?"

"I've wanted you for so long." He breathed against my breast, the coolness of his breath brushed against my skin, causing me to quiver. His mouth wandered down my stomach. He made a 'hmm' noise once he had reached the area where I wanted him the most. He parted my legs gradually, like he was not wanting to frighten me with going to fast. I gulped and had to make an effort to keep eye contact with him. How would I look to him down there? Did I meet his expectations? If I thought I was self conscious when I was just naked, I obviously didn't know what I was going to feel like when Alec could see _everything. _No boy- no man, had ever seen this part of me. And now? I was giving myself to Alec fully. But I didn't mind, as much as I was scared, I wanted it to be him. There was no one else but him.

My doubts of him not liking what he saw died out a little when he licked his lips as he stared at me with wonder and awe in his face. I could feel a flicker of heat sprawl out in all of my limbs and my stomach felt like I was going on a rollercoaster.

He looked up at my face, fire in his eyes. Alec lightly caressed his fingers across my folds and I nearly jumped off the bed. A gasp so loud that it could have awoken Roberto came out of my mouth, not that I cared. I couldn't think. I didn't want to think, I just wanted Alec.

As I met his gaze, he took his thumb in his mouth as if to make it moist. My eyes went huge at realization.

_He's not going to go into-_

"I don't know if I can handle- ALEC!" I screamed as I felt that same thumb go in a completely different direction than I had imagined. Oh, it was better. So much better. I had once imagined his fingers on my clit; but I had never imagined this. His cold against my warmth was startling but amazing. He literally put just the right amount of pressure on me, knowing exactly what he was doing.

I was so slick with wetness now, so much that I was afraid of it trailing down my legs. The feeling that overcame my pelvic area was beyond belief. I could feel his eyes on me as he continued to massage my nub in circular motions, a small, content smile on his lips.

"Scream for me again, la mia Perla. Tell me how I make you feel…" I thought he was joking until he stopped moving, his thumb lingering on my clit. My head jerked up in frustration. I really didn't have much problem with screaming for him, so why was he getting all huffy?

"Why do you keep stopping? I want you now. _Here…" _I got a hold of his hand and made his fingertip go into my opening. Just the feeling of his finger there made me moan.

Alec hissed and cursed loudly, as he -all on his own- plunged his index finger inside me.

I moaned helplessly again, and gripped onto my own hair. His fingers feeling remarkable inside me. I felt my eyes rolling into the back of my head and I was biting my lip so hard I thought I was going to break the skin.

"Y- Yes…" I yelled out. It confused me, normally I heard that for virgins this kind of thing hurt the first time. But it didn't hurt, not in the least. It felt indescribable, having a piece of him inside of me. My walls were tight around his finger, and when I cried out for more he stuck another finger inside of me, increasing his pace; thrusting them in and out of me. That same pressure was building again, and this time there was absolutely no stopping it.

I was going to come. I wasn't prepared for it, I wasn't expecting it. But I knew it was approaching, my body tensed as the feeling of heaven intensified ten times. I didn't think it could possibly get any better, but it did. It was so close, I could feel it. It was almost torturous having to wait for it. It was like every kiss we'd ever shared, every touch and every moment was being piled onto this moment and the volcano was finally about to abrupt. My legs were starting to lose feeling, everything was fading and being poured into the intensity that I was about to experience.

"Alec! Oh!" I screamed again as the most life altering feeling crashed into me like a brick wall. I gripped onto the pillow beside my face so hard I ripped the fabric. I felt my walls clench around his fingers as my legs folded upward toward my body, my back arching. I felt them plunge in one final time deep inside me, finishing it.

I panted after my release, sweat starting to form all over my body, in places I didn't know I could, but I knew I wasn't done. I craved for more, I craved for everything.

I didn't know what had come over me, or why I did the next thing that I did. Most people would find it very gross, but I had a feeling that he'd enjoy it and anything I could give back at this point was a bonus.

When Alec was face level with me again, I took his hand that been inside me and brought it to my lips. I stared at his face as I licked his index finger, tasting myself on his skin. Can't say that I actually liked it, but I liked the expression that rose on his stunning face. Completely overcome with shock. He groaned deep in his chest, and I took his silence to my advantage. I took his face in my hands as I kissed him, flicking my tongue out to meet his. He didn't complain at all, he just welcomed the exchange. My hands trailed down his back and my thumbs once again, hooking into the band of his boxers. I expected him to stop me so that he could torture me some more. But he must have been at his reaching point as well, and I was very pleased to find out. Actually, he helped me in the process of getting them off, lifting his hips and kicking them off with his feet.

I'd always known teamwork was a good thing.

Once the boxers were discarded at last, I felt the tip of his shaft brush against my still very swollen clitoris. We both gasped at the connection our skin made. It was becoming so real. It was really happening.

There was no one to stop us. No more rules we had to set. No I love you's that needed to be said. It was just Alec and myself, and we were finally going to make love. I had dreamed of this moment for so long, and it was finally here. It sent chills just as electric as the lightning that flashed outside and into the room. I could feel him, so close.

That's when I became very nervous. The fingers hadn't hurt, but he was bigger than his fingers. Much bigger.

I looked up into his eyes, scarlet and just as anxious as mine. I could practically see my heart bouncing in my chest. My breathing was coming out in chokes, as Alec stroked my face gently running his fingers in my hair.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Renesmee. Just relax, it'll be easier for the both of us if you relax. Do you trust me?" He whispered, brushing his nose along my cheekbone. I instantly felt more secure and safe with his reassuring words. The tenderness in his voice. He loved me, he wouldn't do more than I could handle. Taking a very deep breath, I nodded and bit my lip.

"Yes." I whispered back into his mouth, as he rested his forehead against mine. "I love you, Alec…"

I felt him smile, and gave me a light kiss.

"I love you more than you could ever fathom." That was the last thing he said before he lowered himself to my entrance and very slowly nudged his way inside me.

_Holycrapholycrapholycrap!_

I grabbed onto his shoulders, remembering what he said about relaxing. So, I tried to be the best I could relaxing my legs and my hips. Feeling him inside of me was exhilarating. The space was so tight that all I could feel was _him_. It felt filling, it made me feel whole. Ever since I'd fell in love with him I was a complete puzzle but for one piece that was missing. He was the other half. I was complete.

Alec's face was flickered with emotions as he finally slid in as deep as he could, or at least as far as he thought he could without hurting me further. Alec grunted, his mouth open and his eyes closed. Just seeing him being effected by me made me feel almost, I don't know, proud. He didn't move though, he just stayed there, knowing I wasn't ready yet. I could see the struggle on his face, wanting more than what he was giving. A part of me wanted him to move as well, and another part was scared.

"How is this making you feel?" I asked, my voice not even my own anymore.

Alec slowly opened his eyes and licked his lips, inhaling again as his hands moved to my hips. His fingertips pressed into the curves of my skin while he tried to come up with what to say.

"Unspeakable; can't describe it. You're so…tight around me. And warm…wet. Safe…" He moaned out, and for the first time since I'd known him, he was biting his own lower lip, holding in the whimpers. I gripped onto his neck and feeling like I was ready, I bucked my hips underneath him, an encouraging movement.

Alec hissed when he felt the slight change, and shook his head.

"More." I insisted, and moved my hips again. I was beginning to feel a desperation as I wrapped my legs around his torso and contracted my muscles around him, knowing he would feel it. He let out a small cry again, this only made me want him even more. After a few moments, he finally pulled himself out of me, then thrusted back in.

My eyes watered, and we both moaned together in unison. All I could see was stars.

Again; he thrusted into me, this time with a bit more force. I could tell he was still holding himself back, and I really wished he wouldn't. For my sake if not his own. After the first couple of thrusts I started to lift my hips to meet his, causing him to go in deeper.

The action took him by surprise, and I still wanted more. I needed more. I couldn't get him deep enough; not enough of him. Not fast enough either.

"Faster…_please_." I begged, and continued to meet his movements with mine urgently. He cursed under his breath, and he began to plunge in deeper and faster, but not fast enough to my liking. It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying him, that's the point. I was enjoying far more, and I was becoming greedy. I also wanted him to enjoy this too, and I knew he wasn't going to his full extent. So, I took it upon myself to make sure he got the pleasure he deserved.

In a swift move, I rolled us over so that I was on top of him. I balanced myself on my knees that were on either side of his hips, and placed my hands on his chest. His eyes rounded, not expecting the switch in roles. I couldn't be more thrilled.

"Damn it- _what are you doing?!"_

"Shh…" I put my finger to his lips and let it trail down his torso, moving my hair out of my face, I then began to lift myself off of him then slammed back down _hard, _causing Alec to growl, his teeth baring together.

The new position let me feel more of him, it made me feel free of anything that held us back before. I couldn't be happier where I was. I lifted again then down, which caused Alec to curse in Italian. I tilted my head back and said my own curses to myself in a accomplished sort of way.

My breathing was beginning to come in gasps as tingles flooded through my body. So good, I didn't ever want to stop.

I continued to ride him, bouncing eagerly. After a couple seconds of this I somehow knew what to do with my body, and with his underneath me. I changed the pattern of my rubbing, and rocked back and fourth with him still inside me, the tempo of my movements increasing. My back arched once more, one of my hands found my hair and tugged at it, needing to hold on to something. If I didn't, I was sure to lose control. With my sliding on him, I felt his pelvic continue over and over to brush against my clit, making the sensation only better.

"I love how you feel when you're riding me, Renesmee." He yelped, throwing his head back against the pillow, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. I saw the muscles in his neck and shoulders bulging outward, indicating he was stiff about to finally release to me. The information effected me on a whole new level, I cried out, bucking my hips against his. I wouldn't dare to stop moving.

Finally, after all this time he was giving himself to me completely. There was nothing now that I didn't see, nothing that he could hide from me.

We were one; connected. Nothing in this earth would ever be able to change what we were sharing together right now. It was like our souls were merging together, becoming unrepeatable; kindred.

I leaned forward a little, only to unexpectedly feel his mouth suckle on my nipple. His tongue was cold and wet against me as he cupped my lower back with his hands, pulling and pushing my hips to the speed that pleased him. I cried out his name once more, along with other unmentionables. Even with my doing all the work, he somehow made it to where he was in charge. Over and over he slammed into my walls, invading the space that surrounded him, causing no friction between us.

This was all too much for me to handle, and I couldn't hold back myself any longer. The ache low in my belly finally exploded. I felt myself tighten around him as I came, screaming in the process. I should have felt exhausted, but I was no where near there. He still hadn't climaxed, and as long as he wasn't, I wasn't finished. I didn't want to be finished. I wanted this to last forever.

As if he was reading my mind, before I could blink I was on my back again, with him still inside me.

He threw my legs around him, and I interlocked my ankles. He buried his face in my neck, nibbling at it with his teeth. Alec's hands were still gripping my hips.

"Hold onto me." He instructed in a low, husky voice. It almost came off as a growl.

I folded my arms around his neck, my breathing increasing at not knowing what he was up to. It was quite a turn on to see him taking action like I knew he wanted to, it only made me more wet. If that was even possible.

That's when he began to pound into me. Hard. Over and over again. I was shocked at the force and speed he was using, and I _loved _it. I couldn't hold back the words that flew out of my mouth.

"Oh, Alec. _Yes,_ there. Keep. yes…please don't st- Yes!"

"You like this, don't you?" He hissed in return, keeping up tempo. Somehow my legs turned into jello and they fell from his waist. He was going that fast. He didn't seem to mind, he only took the back of my knees and pulled my opening to him in time with each thrust.

My breasts lifted with each movement he made. The feeling was almost uncomfortable but the feeling of climax building surpassed it. I could feel my heart drumming inside me, and the pulse in between my legs increasing. The bed underneath us shook. It'd probably be broken in the morning.

"Come with me, Nez." He whispered as he continued to drive into me, taking over every ounce of me. I was his; and he knew it. Being his, my body obeyed his command and I once again came over the edge. I was pleased to feel his own body tensing up too. His hands under my knees slid up to my thighs and held onto them tightly.

His face, usually so composed and assured, was all over the place now. His jaw was tight; locked in place. His eyes were wide open with what looked like relief mixed in with eagerness; waiting.

Only a moment after my body went into spasms, his did too. Alec grunted loudly again, and inhaled deeply. I heard him mutter something to himself under his breath, but I couldn't figure out what it was. He thrust into me one last time, and I could feel his cool essence pour into me, I shuddered, as he consumed me whole. My mind going completely blank. The only thing I could do was breathe and feel everything that was around me.

I looked at his face, and once he came his body collapsed over mine. I guess vampire's did get tired after all.

_I knew it. _

I hadn't even noticed he had stopped breathing until he started to again, it coming out in short pants against my neck. My body felt like it was going to sink into the mattress because it felt so heavy, yet relaxed. My skin clung to the sheets, and I could feel sweat on the back of my neck. There along with everywhere else.

My hands lay like weights on his mid back, and I kissed his shoulder softly. I actually let out a small giggle, just out of exhaustion and awareness of what just happened.

The only part of Alec that moved were his lips that kissed my neck affectionately, his chest moving at a more stable pace. Where as mine was heaving up and down quickly.

Okay, so maybe they didn't get tired.

He finally pulled out of me and the emptiness hit me instantly.

Alec laid beside me on his stomach, his bicep draped over my waist. He stared at me for a long time, not talking to me physically but almost mentally. There was so much to discuss, but we could only look at each other.

I turned to my side to face him, using my hand to trace his back ever so softly with my fingers. He then got up and picked up the cover that had slipped off the bed sometime, and pulled it over us. I snuggled up to his chest and sighed contently. I wasn't tired at all. If anything, I was a livewire. I could've skipped around the whole city singing show tunes were I asked to.

"You're so beyond belief, la mia Perla." He said, and I smiled at the words, not knowing the meaning.

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

"Because its what you are…a rare and beautiful pearl." He explained. My heart just about melted and tears sprung into my eyes, blurring my eyesight. He brought my face to meet his by tugging my chin. I tried to make the tears that desperately wanted to fall go away, but it was no use. One blink and they dropped onto my cheeks.

"Pearl?" I asked pathetically, feeling like such a girl. A weak and pitiful one at that.

He chuckled softly and wiped the tears from my face. He leaned closer and brushed his nose against mine, kind of like an Eskimo kiss. Only slower and softer.

"Why do you think I picked out that necklace for your birthday?"

I shrugged and gave him a pitiful smile, as he ran his fingers through my hair, our legs intertwining together. It felt like my birthday was a million years ago. Like we were two different people and I loved it. I loved feeling complete in his arms and at the same time it hurt more then anything in my entire life.

I've never felt this before. I never felt so loved by a man that I knew more then anything that he was the one for me. No one else, and I couldn't even have him fully. I looked up into his eyes and saw it. The feelings he had for me and it made me loose my breath. I cupped his face in my warm hands and kissed him tenderly, wanting my life to stay this way. I wanted to hold him and never move. But I knew that would be considered irrational and unrealistic. Eventually this all had to end, and it made my heart bleed. Everything was different now. I had him. I had him in a way that I've never had him before, and I was not going to give him up. He was everything to me, and now that I knew what it felt like to be in his arms, giving him everything I had, I had to do something to make sure I wasn't going to loose him. Just the thought of not being with him hurt, and I could tell my feelings were plastered my on face, because the way Alec spoke to me. His voice was urgent and his face filled with panic.

"What's wrong? Did I upset you?!"

I shook my head frantically, sqeezing him tighter to my body wanting to feel him closer, as I buried my wet face into his waist. The emotions of our situations overriding me.

I couldn't fight the tears that poured down my face now. I couldn't make them not turn into sobs, and I couldn't stop him from pulling my face up to meet his gaze. I expected him to tell me not to cry, that there was nothing we could do, but all he did was pull me on top of him. Planting butterfly kisses all over my face, and crandled me to his chest. I rested against him, my breathing evening out a few moments later.

"I'm not going anywhere." I whispered against his chest, my voice pleading, almost sounding desperate. "I'm not leaving you. We have to do something, something to be together, something to-to-to"

"Nez, please don't do this." Alec said, his voice sounding like it was going to break along with mine. His eyes, sad and filled with pain, as his grip around me becoming tighter.

"No." I shook my head as he cupped my cheeks in his hands, wiping the tears that fell with his thumb, his body was shaking slightly, as if he was trying to control himself too.

He closed his eyes and rested his head against mine. My hands gripping his.

"I love you so much." I said between cries. The tears coming faster as I spoke the words that I knew to be true. I felt like my heart was being ripped from my own chest, and the way he was trying to comfort me, only made it worse.

"I hate it when you cry." He whispered to me, his face merely inches from mine. Our noses touching. I bit my lip and looked at him through water eyes, I didn't know what to say to him then, but I felt like I didn't need to say anything anymore. Because somehow I knew he understood how I felt without words.. He understood that it hurt, not knowing what's to become of us, and I understood that he was hurting as well over everything, and with that knowledge, I wanted to beat myself up physically for reminding him of our future.

After half an hour or so, the sobbing finally stopped. I then felt my body grow weak. My eye lids getting heavier, but I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to loose a second that we had left. I didn't actually know when we had to go back to Volterra, but I knew that it was soon. That when we got home, we had to pretend we didn't love each other. For everyone else's sake.

_How the hell are we suppose to do that?_

"You can sleep now, Nez…"I slowly shook my head, kissing his chest and sliding my tongue across his chest. He chuckled and roughed up my hair with his fingers, which now was a total wreck, not that I cared in the lease. I could like a complete hobo and be happy with it now, so long as I didn't sleep.

"You're tired." Alec said, I shook my head again to deny the obvious. He only laughed louder. "Such a liar you are, Miss Cullen."

I held back a laugh that felt foregin to me now after all the sobs, and I did the most unthinkable thing. I bit him. Hard on his nibble.

He hissed low and grumbled. He rolled us over, so that he was on top. He threw my hands above my head, keeping them in place. My breathing hitched. His eyes narrowed and darkening with lust.

"Now what was the purpose of that?"

"I thought it was pretty obvious." I said, smiling, as I leaned in for a kiss. He smirked and shook his head.

"We've already done enough damage for the night, Renesmee…"

I nodded knowingly.

"Indeed we have…But I wonder, is it better the second time around?' I said, kissing his neck, licking my way done to his collar bone. He was just so damn eatable it was ridiculous and should be considered illegal.

"I promise not to cry afterwards." I whispered, kind of feeling stupid for crying in the first place. I thought he was going to give up completely and we go for round two, but he just shook his head, and pulled my face into his hands. looking at me with such affection. As he kissed me lightly.

"…I'm sorry that you cried Nez and I know you didn't come to Italy for me--"

"Hey," I whispered, he looked into my eyes, a smile forming in my lips, my fingers running though his hair. "I came to figure out what I wanted in life. So as far as I'm concerned, Alec. You _are _the reason."

"Well, in that case…" He said smugly, with humor in his eyes. He then shifted his way and started to get off of the bed, sitting at the edge. Somehow my body reacted immediately and protested. I threw my arms around his waist from behind and pressed my cheek against his back. He was foolish to think he could go anywhere tonight.

He laughed sofly again, the noise reminding me of music.

"What are you doing, Renesmee?"

"I don't do one nights stands." I stated.

Alec laughed harder now and shook his head, I smiled softly at his response. I tugged him tighter and tilted my head around his shoulder so I could pout at him. Did he really believe he could just leave me? Now? After what we just did? Ha, unfreaking believable.

"You need to sleep. I don't see why I'm needed to do that."

"Because. I'm…afraid of the dark." Then, he almost fell on the floor he was laughing so hard. I was startled at his reaction. It wasn't that humorous, I didn't think so at least. But apparently it was, because his laughter echoed across the room.

Once he was got all of it out, he cupped my chin and rolled his eyes. I widened mine innocently and shrugged.

"What? I'm afraid of the monsters coming to get me…" I lied, trying to sound convincing.

"Um- alright. Nez, dear…you are part monster. You just had sex with a monster. And you're scared of them? That's kind of contradicting yourself, isn't it?"

"Well, I didn't say I was afraid of this monster, did I?" I whispered, and slid my hand down his torso and waist until I reached his shaft, and ran my fist upward once.

His body stiffened at the action as he inhaled deeply through his nose. I smiled at the response, being very pleased with myself.

_I. Am. A. Pro. _

I wanted him again. I wanted him now, many times actually and I didn't want complaints about either. He enjoyed himself didn't he? He wanted me again? Maybe I was being a little straight forward on this whole mess but Alec was like chocolate. One taste and you want it all the time. Who was he to deny me of my wishes? My selfish indulgence.

Feeling him hardening under my fingers, I became very wet at the thought of him inside me again. I went for a second stroke, when suddenly I felt his hand grip mine. I looked at his face in shock and saw that it was torn.

I could practically see the little angel Alec and little demon Alec standing on his shoulders, trying to win him over on their side. It was actually quite amusing, seeing him struggle with his needs. All because he wanted me to sleep.

Taking advantage of his silence, I leaned around him and brushed my lips down his torso. My tongue flickering across his marble skin.

"Please…I can give you what you want…your fantasy, your desire." I whispered, as my mouth moved down his body, his demeanor was tense and contemplating, as if he was fighting himself once again.

I then flashed him a short but detailed vision of what he wanted most. The vision itself was very descriptive. The best vision I could create with my power. So realistic that if I didn't know better I thought it was real myself. I looked up at Alec, whose eyes were closed. His breathing had stopped and his hands were made into fists. He was definitely right where I wanted him.

I leaned in closer to his shaft, the tip inches away from my mouth, twitching from the heat of my breath. I closed my eyes and suddenly right when I was about to take him in, he spoke. His voice low and rushed.

"Renesmee. Don't."

I looked at him with puzzlement, as I lifted my face to his. My eyebrows creasing.

"Why not? Don't you want me to-"

"Yes. More then you will ever believe, but not tonight." He said, caressing my cheek as he spoke, his red eyes looking me over as he licked his lips. I began to pout and leaned back in the bed, my arms crossed over my bare chest. I was very displeased.

Alec chuckled slightly at my need to satisfy him, his face lighting up in a beautiful and breathtaking smile, his body leaning over mine. When I didn't respond to his amusement, he rested his chin on my stomach and sighed softly.

"I want that for another time." He said sweetly, kissing my warm skin though the sheets, as if to reassure me that it would happen eventually. I scoffed and rolled my eyes because clearly I didn't want it for another time. I wanted to do it now and he wasn't listening to me. I was no way near as tired as he thought me to be. Still he became persistent on my damn sleep.

Why couldn't I of been born a full vampire? Huh? Why?

"I'm not tired." I said, trying cover a yawn that snuck up on me. My mood growing irritated at my ability to convince him. Obviously I was more tired then I thought, and I hated it. I wanted to be up. I wanted to be here; awake.

Damn you, sleep!

I felt my eyes close, my body relaxing into the bed. I felt my mind drifting to darkness as sleep devoured me. It felt good too; relaxing, letting my heavy eyelids rest themselves. I was actually on the verge of fall asleep, that was until I felt a stir and realized Alec had once again move himself away from me. Why was he so intent on leaving me? Did he have something to do? What was more important? Nothing, as far as I'm concerned.

The feeling of his absence, even if it was only for a short second, well- it wasn't a pleasant experience. I felt so clingy to him, but I couldn't help it. I wanted him to stay here with me.

My eyes snapped open and I grabbed his wrist. His own eyes found my face, he groaned quietly under his breath.

"Alec, stay. Please stay, I want-"

"Shush, Nez I'm here. I was just going to-"

"No, I want you here with me. Please." I begged, not ashamed that I sounded very needy. I threw my arms around his neck and held him tight to me. I felt so emo, but I was sleep deprived, not to mention our time together was limited and running fast. Alec's arms wrapped themselves around my waist, as he ran his fingers along my bare back soothingly. My mind eased a little due to his touch.

"Okay, I'm giving you a one time offer here, so take it or leave it. If you promise me you'll sleep, then I promise I'll stay here."

I pulled back and narrowed my eyes at him, cocking an eyebrow.

Was he serious? How is this fair? It would feel like he wasn't here if I slept during the night, so how could I enjoy it? I contemplated my options here and thought about fighting him about it, but then again I knew how Alec worked. He would leave within the second I'd protest and all because of some damn sleep. I guess the only option I had was to do what he wanted, which pissed me off to no end.

Damn it.

"You promise?"

"Didn't I just say I would?"

"I…don't trust you." I said, sounding completely honest.

He smiled boyishly and chuckled, cupping my face in his hands and leaned in closer to give me a soft kiss, almost like a peck. I detested pecks.

"I wouldn't trust me either, but like I said…you don't have much choice." He said, almost sounding smug with his little agreement. Alec made sure I put my head back on the pillow before he scooted himself beside me and pulled the cover over both of us.

I tried desperately to stay awake, I tried to just close my eyes and enjoy the moment, but that was far too hard when I knew that sleep was coming. It was drifting closer and closer, and it felt wonderful. Why would I want to stop myself anymore anyways? Alec would be here when I wake up, he wasn't going to jump ship. Even if he did, I would know where to find him to kick his ass.

I felt his cool hand hold my own, which was resting against the pillow that was by my head. My hand felt like it weighted more than it did. I would smile if I had the energy to do so, but the thought of something as simple as pulling my lips upward seemed to difficult. I don't recall a time I'd ever been so exhausted, physically plus mentally.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I could see the problems that awaited us back in Volterra, but they were soon pushed aside by the blackness. As did everything else. Including Alec's soft voice that I managed to make out before I passed out completely.

"Have sweet dreams, my Renesmee. And tomorrow we'll hopefully make those precious dreams of yours come alive…just as you've made all of mine come true."

_Just like a fairytale. Most fairytales have happy endings. Perhaps, maybe we'll get ours. _

_Alec and Renesmee lived happily ever after. _

If only it were that simple.

I wasn't sure when I had realized that the angry muttering sounds were not part of my dream. I knew I had dreamt though, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what they were about. All I could concentrate on now was those irritated noises that woke me from my very much needed rest.

My eyes fluttered open without my permission, and I shut them quickly, not ready to accept the fact that it was morning. Luckily, the curtains were closed, blocking out the harsh daylight I knew waited.

I opened my eyes fully now, because I realized that Alec was not laying beside me, and his side of the bed felt empty. For a spilt seconds I wanted to rip his head off for leaving me, but that's when I realized he was sitting up on the bed, his head in his hands as he cursed under his breath. My body instantly stiffened at the view, as my mind panicked.

Of course he would be regretting last nights events. It was so predictable wasn't it? Like the movies. The guy sleeps with the girl, and the next day pretends it didn't happen.

How cliché

I sat up on the bed instantly and went to touch his shoulder softly, trying to think positive. So what if he was wishing he didn't sleep with me, that's no big deal right? Its only burnt a hole right through my heart and kind of makes the whole I lost my virginity to him thing a little bit worse.

But hey, he seemed to enjoy it last night, that's all that matters, right?

I suddenly got a very bitter taste in my mouth.

"What's wrong?" I asked, knowing the answer, as I tried to hide the worry from my voice. I might as well let him think I was oblivious. Maybe he'll go easy on me. Maybe it was all in my head and he wasn't regretting everything and I was just going crazy.

_Yeah right. Renesmee get real here._

I saw his body tense up at the question, as he turned his head from away his hands to stare at me, his mouth forming into a tight line.

"Nez, I'm going to ask you something and I want the absolute truth. Understand?"

I felt my face scrunch up in a confused grimace. What could he possibly have to ask me now? Why wasn't he going into that whole speech about how last night should have never happened and such? Was he trying to make me feel worse? Trying to drag it out as far as he could? Maybe I should just prepare myself. It was going to hurt after all.

Despite wanting to protest, I nodded and waited for him to ask his question that apparently was very important and frown worthy.

"What is it?"

He sighed and shifted his eyes to the ceiling, his hands in his lap.

"Are you fertile?" He asked, sounding like someone had punched him in the gut, his voice straight and to the point, not hiding the panic in the tone.

I blinked and leaned in a little closer, a little bit confused. He didn't just say what I think he said, did he?

"Am I what?" I asked, my voice coming out in a choke.

"Can you get pregnant, Renesmee?! Last night, during our…passion, I forgot about-"

"Protection?" I finished for him, light amusement clear as day in my voice. This was what he was fussing over? He was worried he would get me knocked up? While I was sitting here thinking he thought he had made the worst mistake of his existence, he was really thinking about the possibility of us having a child together?

I couldn't hold back the giggles that escaped my lips. He glared as I did so, but I couldn't help it. Out of all the things to think about the day after, he was thinking about reproduction.

"This isn't funny. In fact, its quite the opposite." He said sharply, and I lifted my eyes back to him, smiling broadly.

"I'm not going to get pregnant, Alec. Its impossible." I assured him through more chuckles. His brow creased further and his eyes were suspicious and narrow. The expression on his face reminded me of a cop or something.

What was this? Was he like a big time lawyer uncovering the truth about how half breeds conceive? Would he stop at nothing?

I laughed out loud again, trying to block out the image of Alec in a grey suit in a courtroom while interrogating a half breed -me- about her sexual encounters with full blooded vampires.

Okay, I was getting a little ahead of myself. It was a good thing that I wasn't touching Alec's arm anymore, because he'd truly think I'd lost my mind.

"Are you positive?" He questioned again, cocking an eyebrow after a few moments of thinking it over.

I leaned in to kiss him softly and pulled back with a smirk on my face. He looked so damn adorable when he was worried, it was almost childlike.

"Do you really want me to get into all the details of why I can't have babies, Alec? Is this a topic you'd like to discuss?" I joked, trying to fight back the giggles that wanted to burst out.

Alec rubbed his face and groaned. I wonder what he was thinking now. Was he really still worried or did I need to go down the list of reasons as to why I can't conceive his babies? Didn't he think I would have been prepared if I could? Stop him or something?

Okay, yeah I wouldn't of stopped him but at least I would of came with a condom or something. The last thing I wanted to do was go back to Forks and tell my vampire parents their daughter's about to make them grandparents, and Alec was my baby-daddy.

I could practically see my father's eyes pop out of their sockets now. Or Jacob's for that matter. Oh the drama that would cause, I thank God everyday that I don't have to worry about that.

Though apparently I should of warned Alec before we got all hot and heavy because if I didn't know better, I'd say he was having a heart-attack. Quite literally as a matter of fact.

"So…I don't have to go out and buy…what are they called…?"

"Condoms? No…not that I know of." I quickly gasped, and threw my hand over mouth, mockingly. "What if I'm wrong though? What if I'm carrying your baby...right. Now." I said in a teasing voice as Alec's head shot up and his eyes looked at me with terror. I laughed so hard, my body flew backwards into the bed. My ribs and cheeks were beginning to hurt as Alec hissed.

"This isn't funny…"

"The fact that you don't know that they're called condoms is hilarious, Alec. It's even more funny that your freaking out about not using one."

"I'm not freaking out."

"Oh, but you are."

He shook his head, and I nodded with a smile with caused him to fume. He ran his hands through his hair roughly, and got off from the bed. Stumping to the bathroom, taking the sheet with him. My arms instinctively covering my bare body, horrified.

Alec turned around and smirked, as he looked me over in a playful way.

"Whose freaking out now, hum?" I gaped at him and picked up the pillowed to cover my chest. Once he was inside the bathroom, I got up and looked around the room for my clothes.

I can't believe everything that's happened in the last day or so. Alec telling me he loved me. Me tell him I loved him and then we had sex?

The sex was something I will always remember as long as I walked this earth.

Something that I would cherish. I don't care what Alec thought of me being in the Volturi. It was going to happen weather he liked it or not. I will see him everyday, and we'll be together. Aro can't object the offer of having me in his coven. It wasn't possible.

As I found my pants across the room, I heard the bathroom door open slightly. Alec's face peeking through, a frown on his face, as if I hurt his feelings or something.

"Well…?" he asked, his tone impatient and in a pout as I looked at him perplexed with one of my legs in the sleep pants and the other dangling out.

"Well what?" I asked, curious. His smiled widening at my confusion, and I swear in that moment I forgot to breathe. My heart raced at the sight of his white teeth, his eyes colored in pleasure.

"…Aren't you coming? I'm in need of a stress-reliever due to my 'freak out' and the only way I could do that is if I have you begging for pleasure while I wash you…" his voice sounded so calm and content, knowing exactly what he wanted, with no hint of joking in his tone.

Where as my head was screaming with joy, the center between my legs getting wet by his words.

_Did he just say he was going to wash me?_

* * *

**Writer's Note: Alright, alright. So this chapter was pretty self explanitory, haha. They did it! *gasp* No, this wasn't Nez's dream. Its real! lol. Hope you enjoyed it :) Once again for the 100th time, thanks so much for all of your reviews! You guys are the awesomest!!!!! **

**Muah!!**

**~iitm**


	18. Chapter 18: Volterra Awaits

**Chapter 18: Volterra Awaits **

**Alec's POV **

The look on her face was amusing to say the least, full of shock and dripping with lust. I had to bite back the satisfied smirk that wanted to break out right then, feeling the corner of my lips curving as I motioned for her to come to me. As Nez slowly stood from the bed, her expression changed to something completely unfamiliar to me, like she was in a trance of some sort. Her were eyes looking at me, but not actually seeing me. I was about to ask her what was the matter with her, but then her face lit up like the forth of July, making her look even more beautiful then before. Her hair was a absolute mess but I actually preferred it this way, it was a reminder of what we did last night.

_Oh, what we did._

I can't recall a time in my long existence where I ever felt more whole than I did at this moment.

Knowing I've been inside this woman in front of me. She's given me something no one has ever touched; made me feel every inch of her surrounding me.

It was utopia. The way she moved, the facial expressions as she came to me, it was pure bliss. I can't really adequately describe the experience in words, just feelings.

She wasn't what I was expecting in the heat of the moment, she was full of passion, and roughness that was enough drive a normal man mad. She was assertive and I loved every bit of it.

She was inconceivable as well. I was worried I would hurt her; I would not be making that assumption again. The girl could definitely hold her own. Hell, I had trouble keeping up with her. In fact, I began to worry I wouldn't meet her standards, but like I said, the look on her face said everything. The sweat that glistened on her velvety pale skin, the helpless whimpers that escaped her pink, swollen mouth as I moved inside her, and the way she screamed my name over and over.

Well, I couldn't just pass that off as luck. Not when it concerned Renesmee, at least.

I'm pretty sure I'd never been more proud. Proud to have her, proud to have her affection, proud that she was mine. That might sound vain and selfish, but it was the truth.

I, Alec, am a lucky son of a bitch. I have no problem admitting that whatsoever. Little things like pride and confidence seemed so irrelevant lately. Everything that made me, me was being pushed aside and being replaced by her.

I don't even want to dare try to imagine what living this life would be like without Nez. And yet, it seemed as though that moment was drifting closer and closer, about to collapse on us. For a short second, the emotional knife jabbed me in the chest forcefully, sending images into my head of her leaving.

_No. I can't let her leave. I can't let her leave me…_

But the voice of reason in my head said that by letting her stay, I was doing exactly what Aro wanted. After what finding out what that man -if he can even be considered a man- did to me and Jane, I can't find it within myself to try and please him. Why should I?

I get it, we were dying and we wouldn't have had a chance either way. And I would've dealt with it, too. But he lied to me, made me think that him changing me was something genuine. When really he was just looking for another employee to add to his collection of shiny toys.

But at the same time I had to thank him. If he hadn't changed me I would have been ashes, and if I was dead I would have never been here when Renesmee breezed into Volterra. At the end of the day, he really did do me a favor. Whether it was sincere on his part or not.

I turned my attention back to the waiting woman that stood in front of me, watching her smile at me with those full lips that reached all the way to big chocolate eyes. I returned the smile and motioned for her to follow me with my forefinger. The small action alone made her heart quicken. I didn't understand human functions, but I had to respect the purpose they served.

I turned on the shower, testing the temperature with my hand, making sure it wasn't too hot or too cold for her.

Someplace in the gutter of my mind, I thought:

_Well, it's quite obvious to me now that she can handle the cold, joyfully, in fact._

I chuckled aloud, and shook my head at my inappropriate thoughts. A gentleman would never think something like that. But then again, I was never really a gentleman, was I?

I felt her presence crawl up behind me, closing in the space.

"What's funny?" She asked in an oblivious and innocent voice, resting her chin on my shoulder. I shook my head again and tried to hold back more laughter.

"It's not of importance." I lied, trying to pull down the corners of my mouth that wanted to curl up.

Nez grimaced, suspecting otherwise. She opened her mouth to protest, but as I took a step closer to her and let my eyes examine her half naked body, she seemed to become speechless. Standing there with only her sleep pants on that hung low on her waist. She was perfection, I suspect that's all that she managed to get on before I beckoned her into the bathroom. Her hands were lying at her sides; I could see her fumbling with her own fingers, unsure of what to do.

"Now…what was our purpose again in coming in here? Do you remember?" I questioned, slipping my fingers into the band of her sleep pants and slowly slid them down, my fingers tracing the outline of her thighs as I went. Nez's stomach was moving in and out rapidly, indicating she was breathing harshly. Of course, anyone could just tell that by the sound of her breath alone.

I continued to lower the pants, and instructed her to step out of them. She did as I said without delay, and I stood back to inspect her stunning body.

I was viewing it from a whole other angle. Last night, she was lying down, causing her breasts to flatten by the gravity. Now, they were upright and full. Watching her nipples harden at the mere gaze of my eyes was fascinating to watch. I licked my bottom lip as I felt myself harden just looking at her. Did she have any idea how elegant she was?

I let the sheet that was wrapped around my waist fall to the cool, tiled floor. Her eyes instantly wandered downward to my erection and I saw a small smirk form on her lips.

Was she seriously being smug right now? If so, I loved it. I just loved everything lately.

"Tsk, tsk…why Cullen. I'm appalled at your behavior." I teased and stepped back into the shower stall, letting the hot water pour on me. I met her eyes and I could see the desire in them, the desire that seemed to match my own. Not hesitating, she followed me into the stall and closed the glass door, locking in the water and steam. Within seconds the water was flattening out her hair, and it hung like a curtain around her face and neck, sticking to her like a second skin, her eyes looking wider in anticipation.

"I don't know what behavior you're referring to, Volturi." She replied, addressing me in the same formal manner as I did before to her. Something about the way she said it made me want her ever more, were that even possible. But I wasn't going to have sex with her in a shower, even though the thought did sound very appealing.

The truth was, we did have a lot to cover today, and I didn't think it wise to take a lot out of the day inside this yacht. We hadn't exactly covered much yesterday, due to the fact that I scared the little girl. The memory still made me laugh.

"Oh…I apologize for not specifying. I was referring to this behavior." I purred and stepped around so that I was behind her and pressed the back of her bare body to me. She whimpered softly as I cupped her breasts in my hands, massaging her nipples with the tips of my thumbs. She tilted her head back against my chest, which I took to my advantage I lowered my own face down to kiss her delicate neck. I could feel her pulse beneath my lips, and there was a twinge of temptation and bloodlust. She smelled amazing mixed in with steam; it's like it intensified her scent. But I was in complete control.

"That feels so good, Alec." She moaned. I flicked my eyes from her neck to her face. Her eyes were closed, her mouth parted into which drops of water fell. Water was everywhere. Her eyelids, her cheeks, her neck, her breasts, her stomach, her moisten nub.

Everywhere.

I'm in control. Complete control.

_Liar._

I could feel the venom fill my mouth. To distract myself, I hastily grabbed the bottle of Dove body wash and rubbed a large amount in my hands. I started to run my hands up her waist, feeling the curves of her hips and the velvetiness of her skin, coating the soap as I went. In doing this, I could feel my shaft twitch, in result causing her to moan even louder.

Damn it. This isn't working.

This was probably not the best solution to my lust, but I couldn't stop my wandering hands and continued to explore her body.

Her breathing was becoming more harsh with each movement I made. I could feel her shake underneath my fingertips when I moved them back down to her thighs. I came in between her inner thighs, letting my hands barley touch her folds. Feeling the heat radiating from her, even as far away as my hands were.

"Wash me there. I want to come on your fingers, Alec. Please. I need you to touch me there."

Oh my- how was I to deny her that? She was begging me to-

Damn you, Renesmee. Stop talking!

Almost instantly, she started to plead with me even more. Each word that came out of her mouth only made me harder. I was beginning to hurt, actually. She was causing me pain, in a pleasurable sort of way, of course.

I was being tortured, and I put myself here, now I had to get myself out, but not before I had a little of my own fun with her. She did it to me so why shouldn't I do it to her?

I lowered my hand in between her legs and starting to stroke her clitoris with my fingers. As hard as it was going to be to stop myself, it must be done. There were far more important things than getting laid at this moment.

She gripped my wrist with one hand and reached up behind her to grip my hair with the other, both holding on for dear life. I whispered to her as I kissed her jaw in a low and lethal voice.

"You want me?"

She nodded frantically, her eyes sewn shut as she made sounds of ecstasy.

"How bad do you want me?"

"So much…"

"Say who you want."

"You." She breathed, her heart pounding with anticipation. I smirked with victory.

"Say my name." I said, continuing to rub her clitoris in small circular motions. My pace quickened with each word, and I could feel her getting very wet, but not from the water. I was being very aggressive with her, more so than I have with any woman. But I wasn't doing it to the point of discomfort of course, that was something I'd never do. Besides, I could tell she wasn't in discomfort. Her body was arching back into mine, her fingers tightening themselves into my hair, and her words coming out in pants.

"I want you, Alec."

I made a sound of contentment and smiled against her cheek, watching her up close as she bit her lip. I quickened my pace even further, and applied a little more pressure.

"Say please…"

"Please."

"Say it louder." I commanded in a hiss, nibbling at her jaw. This only made her cry out louder.

"Please! Please…" She begged her face twitching as she screamed.

Right where I wanted her.

I've learned when Nez was about to come, from the face she made and the tone of voice she used that she was close. Very close, so close that I could smell it. I was a master at pleasuring woman, I'm not going to lie, and I've done it many times. But this had to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do in a situation like this. And what did I have to do?

Stop?

In a fast speed, I removed my hand from her, turned off the shower, grabbed a towel and left the bathroom. It wasn't long after I put on a pair of boxers and a black tee-shirt that I heard her stomp into the room, a towel wrapped around her and a scowl that would scare the devil himself.

"That's it!" She barked out, her eyes wide with infuriation.

"That's it," I said simply, not even looking at her as I looked for my pants. They had to be around here somewhere. Where did I throw them yesterday? "Hey, Nez, have you seen my pants anywhere?" I asked casually, glancing back at her, raising my eyebrows.

She scoffed and shook her head.

"Sorry, can't say I have. What about you? Have you seen these!" She snapped and let the towel drop to the floor, relieving her naked body once again. She must have been indicating to her breasts because she was pointing at them with her index fingers, all the while she had the funniest expression on her face.

I laughed softly and nodded.

"A few times now, yes." I added, and finally found a pair of pants to put on, which was followed by a button up shirt. She smiled harshly and before I knew it she was only inches from me. I'm not sure I'd ever seen her move that fast before.

"What was the purpose of that little charade in there?"

"Well, you're clean, are you not?" She rolled her eyes at me and shook her head again.

"Actually, no I'm not clean. I'm far from it!"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, don't give me that. I know you could feel it before."

I chuckled as I remembered the way her body tensed in the shower. She was quite bluntly in heat.

"Yes. I could also smell it…still can, in fact." I then turned around and walked towards the door, giving her one last smirk before heading to the kitchen. I knew I was being mean, but let's face it; I never said I was nice. One would wonder why I was being so cruel to the one I love, and in all honestly I can't come up with a straight answer.

A part of me thinks it was payback for her putting me in the mood in the first place, and another because it was plain entertaining. I always did love torture, only this type was a bit different.

Even in the kitchen, I could still hear her throwing a tantrum as she stomped to her own room and got dressed. I waited patiently at the dining table, sipping on a glass of blood as I did so. It was a good flavor; Roberto's blood. It had a little bit of tang to it. I told the guy I didn't need any blood but he gave it to me anyways, the man is a major kiss-ass. Of course he did have the right to be, he saw Renesmee's boobs.

After minutes of waiting, Renesmee came into the room wearing a casual pink, skin tight shirt, and cut off shorts. Considering what I've seen her wear before on many occasions, this was low key. Well, everything except her shoes, which had a plaid pattern to them with many colors. But even then, they weren't too gaudy. She looked simple and beautiful, with a loose bun on the top of her head with little ringlets falling around the frame of her face.

She stomped over and sat down next to me at the dining table. I waved Roberto over to give her a plate, and he did as I said quickly.

"I'm not hungry." She stated, pushing the empty plate away from her, and folded her arms across her chest, slouching back in the chair. She was feeling sorry for herself, how adorable.

"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning, Nez." I reminded her.

"So?"

"So, you shouldn't be taking your sexual frustration out on your health."

She gaped at me, her mouth hung open. Then she paused for a moment and sighed deeply, all of the sudden looking a little bit worried. I didn't understand the sudden change of her demeanor, but that was Nez for you, always changing.

"Actually, I'm more thirsty than I am hungry. Its been a while since I've…fed." She admitted, looking almost embarrassed to be saying such a thing. Though I honestly didn't get why, feeding is a natural part of being what we are. Or in her case, half of what she was.

I scooted my glass of blood towards her and made a gesture to help herself.

"Here, you can have mine." I offered, and watched her as she sipped at the red liquid slowly, savoring the taste. I don't know why, but I always found it sensual when she drank blood; quite a turn on to say the least. Maybe she was trying to turn me on as payback, but if that were the case, she was going to have to try harder.

After a couple of more sips, she placed the glass down and sighed again, shaking her head with her eyes closed. What was going on with her? I tried not to be too concerned, but with her eyes closed like that, I was beginning to get a little worried.

And that's when I saw a small tear escape her eye, I couldn't contain myself any longer. I hated those tears more than anything on this planet.

"Renesmee, what' wrong?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even and composed, though inside I was going quite mad. She opened her eyes and looked up at me, distress written all over her soft features. Why was she suddenly like this? I couldn't comprehend it, had I pushed one too many of her buttons? Perhaps I really should have just given her what she wanted in the shower, honestly. Lord knows I wanted to.

"I don't want to worry you…" She said shaking her head, the tears coming out faster now. My heart was sinking as I tried to wipe them away, but they were always followed by more. It was far too late for me not to be worried.

"Tell me." I sad soothingly. I really was getting concerned about this. I knew girls got over emotional sometimes but this was more than I could handle! Was she regretting last night? Had I misread her sounds of pleasure? Had I hurt her? Oh, I must have hurt her, this must be what this is all about.

I had either caused her physical or extreme emotional pain. I'm a total prick!

"You promise me you wont flip out?"

"I'm already there, Nez. Just tell me so I can make it better. Are you hurt? Did I do something?" I knew I was being to rough with her in the shower! This must be like an after effect; can I be any more of a selfish ass? She was new to all of these things, and what did I do? I took advantage of it!

My head was going through all the things that could possibly be wrong, and there were so many things too.

She patted my hand and sniffed, wiping the tears from her face.

"I lied…" She mumbled, her lips trembling. "I lied about what I said earlier. I'm not completely sure…"

"Sure about what?" I insisted, wondering what she could have possibly lied about. She loved me. I knew she couldn't lie about that. Did she lie about Jacob? Does she have any sort of feelings for him? Was she not a virgin before last night? It would explain how experienced she was acting!

That was it.

She's not a virgin? Who was it? I'm going to rip their throats out and feet it to the birds! They touched her? They touched what was mine before I even got there? Who the hell violated her? I hope to God it wasn't Mr. Polestar, the douche that drugged her at the club? I would have to bring him back and kill him myself. Though when I think about the timeframe of it all, it was impossible. I left her for what? Five minutes? Then again those kind of things don't take long usually. Especially if it was in a crowded place.

"Who?" I demanded, my voice coming out more harshly then I intended, my anger showing through clear as crystal. All I could see in my vision was red spots, imagining a invisible man whom I was tearing to pieces.

"Who's who?"

She was playing dumb. I get it. Well, I wasn't buying that. That had to be what she lied about. Nothing else made sense.

"Who was your first, Renesmee!" While I asked her this, all I could see in my head was someone else with her. Touching her, kissing her, whispering dirty things in her ear that she didn't need to hear from anyone else but me! And to think this person could possibly be walking on this earth as we speak.

That's when it hit me.

Someone who could possibly be on all fours maybe?

I was going to murder Jacob Black in cold blood. And then I was going to come back to Renesmee and demand why she didn't tell me in the first place! After all it had to be Jacob, who else could it be besides the creep at the club? She was home schooled, wasn't she? Maybe during her schooling hours-

Holy shit!

I was furious, I was-NOT BREATHING.

"You are, stupid! Do I look like a whore?" She snapped, slapping her face with her palm, groaning. I looked at her, giving her a puzzled face.

"I'm talking about the chance that I could be carrying your child, Alec! You know, babies, little cuddly things with small limbs, who say Momma and Daddy? Who needs your undivided attention?" She yelled and slammed her hand on the table, pushing herself from the table. She stood from the table and started to walk out of the room, but I was too fast. Within a blink of an eye I was blocking her exit, my arms crossing my chest.

"Babies? You don't mean- you lying. You're just playing with me."

"Why would I be lying over something as serious as this? Over sex, really? Sex is what got me into this mess in the first place!"

"You're not pregnant!" I shrieked, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her lightly. "You told me yourself it wasn't possible!"

"Well, I might have been mistaken! But its okay, I can just raise the kid myself, God knows you won't pitch in for child support. I'll just go to my father and I'm sure he'd lovingly open his arms for the child of a VOLTURI!"

No.

This isn't happening. No, no, no! I will not let this happen, I wont accept it! She clearly stated earlier that it was impossible for her to get pregnant, and now she was taking back her word? Was she fooling me earlier or now? I couldn't decide. The look on her face was so sincere, and I couldn't forget about those tears, those would haunt my dreams were I able to sleep.

My mind was going absolutely crazy picturing her with a baby in her arms. A crying baby with my facial features! Would this kid even be able to cry? Who knows what me and her would produce! I was a vampire, she was half. That would make the kid a full vamp plus one quarter human? How messed up and twisted is that?

I didn't want kids, and besides we only had sex yesterday! How the hell was that even possible? What did she feel it and-crap.

Who the hell knows?

I had to be strong for her if it was true though. Sure, we'd only had sex once but it was damn good sex. The kind that made twins, what if she had twins?

My mind slowly drifted back to the present, and I could almost hear the Twilight Zone theme song aloud. I only realized then that Nez's head was on my shoulder.

"I know there's a good chance that we'll be fine, but what if I were to get pregnant? My family would hate me, you'd hate me, Aro would be…interested, and Jane? What am I suppose to say to her? 'Oh, I know you hate me but hey! I made you an aunt while we were away! Congrats!'"

Jane.

I had completely forgotten about her. She would despise me and make me into her own personal torture chew toy. She would absolutely, hands down want to kill me. Not that she could, obviously.

I continued to sit there, staring into thin air and not actually focusing on anything. This whole situation was not realistic, me and Nez having a baby? It was ridicules! Mad!

It was also not entirely unheard of for two people who have sex to conceive.

Did I know anyone who would be interested in tearing me apart limb from limb, setting me on fire and auctioning off my ashes? Because honestly, that sounded like a better plan than continuing to live, or whatever the hell I was doing on this planet.

Now it was time for the denial stage.

"We'll be fine." I lied, nodding to myself, trying to think logical.

"You're probably right. You are so- Alec, feel my stomach, do you feel something moving!" She then grabbed my hand and placed in on her stomach, a horror struck expression on her face. Indeed, I did feel something. Whether it was my imagination or not, I actually did freaking feel something! There was movement underneath her skin, I swear on my afterlife.

Heaven, help me!

"Its probably just the blood digesting, right?" She asked, trying to sound reassuring. I nodded once more, while the lump in my throat seemed to grow larger and larger by the second. I was going to be sick.

"We're okay…" I lied again, hoping this time it would actually feel true. Surprisingly enough:

It didn't.

Renesmee sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder once more, cuddling with my arm.

"I know we're going to be okay. You know how I know?"

"Enlighten me…" I blinked, voice sounding like a completely different person, as my body tensed. I looked out the window and tempted to jump through it. Nez's grip on my arm tightened, snuggling even closer to me, making it impossible.

"Because, I'll always know that you are the strong one in the relationship, strong and wise- well not right now you're not but now doesn't count right? You really know how to handle yourself in a out of control situation…as a Volturi I'm sure you're all trained and prepared for anything that comes at you unexpectedly. I mean take now for example: I told you earlier pointblank that it was impossible for me to conceive and you believed me, that says a lot about a man's character…"

The out of body experience I was having was rapidly coming back into focus. It was coming into focus on her tone of voice. What did she just say?

I didn't like her tone of voice, in fact I plain hated it. I don't know how to describe it. Was it mocking, spiteful, genius?

Still not sure of what she was meaning, I continued to listen as she babbled.

"And then, when I feed you a couple produced tears and bullshit rambling of a scared helpless teen mother you completely do a 180 and decide to believe that instead! Strong as you may be, Alec…you're also the world's biggest gullible being in the history of ever. Oh, and by the way…" She trailed off, leaning in to whisper in my ear. "Don't ever tease me like that again."

I'm not sure when my face had turned to stare at her with crazed eyes, but sure enough I did. I couldn't help but just blink at the smiling, giddy girl sitting next to me. Nez was completely at ease as she began to walk back to the table and sip on my glass of blood again. I very much wanted to snatch it back out of her hand and take the last piece of dignity I had back, but I didn't want to risk breaking the glass and staining my clothes, or her clothes for that matter. She should really enjoy them while she can before I rip them off her body later and really show her what teasing is. I would take it to the highest extent. I'm talking about cruelty here, not some little show I did for her in the shower. I'm thinking sheer agony on her part. I don't want just a couple of pleads and moans, I want her to do whatever I ask her to. And trust me, as long as I've been around, there are several things I can think of for her to do to me. I'll have her so on edge, and so wet, so insane for me to be inside her she would be way past begging. Begging would only be the party opener, begging would only be the icing on the cake.

Oh, the things I could have her do!

I want to see her dance for me, to touch herself, to taste herself, to tell me how she tastes and to tell me every little insignificant thought that was passing her brain. Only then might I consider doing her a favor. Because as of right now?

She. Owed. Me. Big. Time.

I started smiling; lost in my thoughts of what I was going to do to her later. I looked at her beautiful face, and all the while still grinning like a mad man. She returned the smile as well, and giggled gleefully, not having a single clue. I suppose I couldn't help but start laughing myself, that's just how furious I was.

"I got you goooood, right?" She said, obviously proud of herself. I nodded cheerfully, and shook my head, standing up as she was. I continued to chuckle as walked slowly in circles around her.

"If that's what you want to call it, yes." I said through clenched teeth, stopping right in front of her now, with my arms crossed. I looked into her eyes, seeing the amusement in them. I thought I was mean before in the shower, but she definitely took the cake on this one, and here I thought I felt guilty about the whole ordeal.

She was evil. Literally. I hoped that some of my characteristics weren't starting to rub off on her.

This simply wouldn't do.

"You can pat my back, you know. Go ahead, its okay, I don't mind." She offered, sounding very smug over the whole thing, pointing to her own shoulder blade. I tilted my head slightly and reached out behind her back as if I was going to pat it. Instead, I grabbed the back of her neck, and in a extremely fast speed, pulled her to my body. Before she could even let out a gasp, my teeth were lightly scraping across the skin of her neck, my tongue following in pursuit. She tasted so good. Sweet, and delicious. I could feel her pulse beneath my teeth quicken, and once again I got that hunger. The urge to let my animal instincts take over. But I wasn't going to actually bite her, I don't have that kind of urge against her. Though she was half-human, my desire for her was on a completely different level. I was just going to send a message.

All of her body weight was laying on me, I caught her. Her hands were braced on my shoulders, and her head was tilted backwards. Her eyes were shut and her Adam's apple was moving so fast I thought she was having a heart attack. Seeing the blush of her cheeks now as her breathing became rash, I could hear her gulping as I roughly traced the lines and veins of her neck with my thumb. My other hand was still firmly behind her neck, keeping her in place. I continued to slide my teeth along her neck, and breathed harshly onto it though my open mouth. The hand that I was using to trace her veins slid down her waist and hips, eventually finding its way to her low back. I jerked her body even a little closer into mine then, allowing her to feel my response to her, hissing by her ear in the process.

She whimpered uncontrollably. The sounds I learned to love almost as much as I loved her in general. Though, I couldn't tell if it was from fear or excitement. Knowing her? Well, I wouldn't put it past her to get off on this sort of thing. Something that is meant to scare someone makes her turned on. I didn't know if that was the vampire in her or what, but it was weird either way. Still, I could feel her heart pounding in her chest that was pressed up against mine, so fast it was almost scary. She really is affected by me like no other on this earth. Most people shake in fear, and beg for mercy. Renesmee was different. She loved me touching her, and I loved to comply.

"Now, then…you were saying before?" I whispered finally, my teeth still bearing into her skin, my lips moving against her skin as I spoke. She really was prefect in my arms. After moments of heavy breathing, Nez finally spoke, her voice sounding more like a groan.

"Nothing. I was saying absolutely nothing…"

That was definitely the right answer.

I slowly nodded and pulled back from her delicate neck looking into her face, my grip on her body not loosening just yet.

As I suspected, Renesmee didn't look frightened, just exhilarated and surprised. Did nothing scare her at all?

"Hmm…That's what I thought." I said sweetly, kissing the corner of her mouth, flicking out my tongue in the process. Teasing her as I so rightfully should.

I then stepped aside, letting her out of my grasp. Of course, since I was supporting all of her weight before, she fell face ward towards the ground, with a huge thud when I let her go. I winced at the visual.

_Oops. _

"Ah! Ouch…" She moaned, laying flat on her stomach. It was hard to keep in the real laughter, after realizing she wasn't hurt, because this was a hell of a sight. I couldn't say she didn't deserve it. I get it, I was a little unkind by leaving her in the shower right before climax. But was that really a suitable punishment? Pretending to lie? That was beyond insensitive. I was losing my mind with worry and thoughts of our future, more so then usual.

I mean, she was crying. How was I not suppose to respond to that lightly?

I had to give her props though, she was sneaky.

After a few curses, Nez finally rolled over onto her back, I grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up effortlessly. Once on her two feet again, she brushed off her legs, as if she fell in a pile of dirt of something.

_Women._

"Lets go, shall we?" I said casually, and walked to the main entrance of the yacht. After sending me death glares behind my back, Nez finally took it upon herself to join me, like I knew she would. She didn't have much strength resisting me like I her. We were each other's weaknesses. Once I knew her sour mood passed, and we reached my desired location in Palermo, I put my hand in my pocket and held the box I've been holding since I got it.

Okay, okay. I left this morning before she got up, but honestly? It was to cure boredom and to get something for Nez. So I can't be held responsible. After all, what else was I suppose to do while she slept? It was torture! Having her body curve to mine and not being able to do anything but be hard for her.

So, I left and went shopping to clear my head. Nez would be proud.

I wore normal clothes and even tried my hand at eye contacts for the first time, not that they looked very natural in the slightest nor were they comfortable but still, it was all for her and this one thing I could give as a farewell present. Though I think I should probably leave that last part out. Don't want to make matters worse after all.

As Nez and I walked on the beach, I kept kicking the sand off my shoe, and watching the tide come in. Nez turned to me and looked at me with a worried expression on her face. Her eye-color was turning more like a honey-brown in this sun light. I smirked as I gripped her warm hands in mine, making her stop walking all together. I felt completely out of place. I've never actually held someone's hand before now. Not in public anyways.

It looked like we were a completely normal couple.

From far away that is.

"Nez…I have something-"

"Was I too aggressive?" Renesmee said, cutting me off; ignoring the fact I ever spoke. I was about to ask her what on earth she was talking about when it finally hit me.

She was talking about last night.

"Sorry, that's not what you were going to say was it?. Forget what…It's just…you haven't mentioned it, and it's driving me crazy and if I wasn't any good or whatever, Alec, don't worry about hurting my feelings okay?"

I'm pretty sure that's when my jaw dropped and hit the sand of the beach. Did she really just ask me this question? This beyond ridiculous question of weather she was good or not? Good at what exactly, sex, pleasuring me, everything? This is honestly what she was wondering all this time, was she not there when I teased her in the shower? Did she not feel my apparent hardness for her, she knew that was for her didn't she? Then again I did reject her.

_Well shit. That's twice today: I'm a prick._

I can't believe she's worried about being any damn good. It was baffling. Had I not praised her enough last night?

How can a girl with her talents even consider the possibility of being bad?

I was about to tell her she's asking a stupid question but once again, she went on babbling. Typical Nez behavior.

"Look, I know you were saying something probably more important just now and I totally screwed it up. Sorry about that it's just I need to know. I mean, I know you've had many women…"

"Nez-"

"And in the moment I was kind of…taking control, which was stupid but I mean c'mon. Have you slept with you? Have you ever actually _felt _how amazing your- I mean- shit! That sounded wrong on so many levels, I'm-"_"RENESMEE!"_

She stopped talking instantly, her eyes rounding to the size of saucers. I smirked and shook my head, trying to hold the laughter that wanted to desperately escape..

Yeah, we really were going to have this conversation.

It was so- _human._

It felt so unnatural to me. In all the years of having sex, no one has ever asked me if they were any good for me or not. Not even Adeline.

Hell, I didn't even ask them if I was good to them. I didn't think I needed too, it was pretty apparent that numbing was not my only talent in this world, if I do say so myself. But now that Renesmee was asking me this, maybe I was over-estimating my pleasuring ability?

_Am I losing my touch?_

As I rubbed my face with my hands, Nez bit her lip and spoke, her voice shaking with worry.

"I'm sorry, I'm as dense as a goldfish, not to mention it's totally cliché….I was just wondering and before I knew it I asked and-"

"Stop talking." I said, gripping my hand in my hair. In all her ranting, she reminded me of how I was worrying about whether or not _I_ was any good for _her_. I was trying to remember every facial expression from last night. Who cares if I was any good to anyone else, I wanted to be good to her.

A moment later, I blinked away my thoughts and cupped her face.

"You really have no idea do you?" She looked at me quizzed, as I shook my head and continued.

"You were amazing. Beyond amazing, you were wonderful. Better then I've ever had, and having you think otherwise? That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. You've pleasured me in everyway imaginable." I said, kissing her bottom lip. She smiled, obviously pleased with herself and her accomplishments; smug little vixen that she was.

Nez wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss. I pulled away and rested my head against hers.

"Do I need to ask…?""No, definitely not. You were fine, Alec."

"Just fine?"

Nez laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I apologize, oh Wonderful Alec, Lord of the amazing orgasms. How could I ever say you were just _fine_…I meant superb, mind-blowing, wonderful. you were so good that I am not worthy of you…just being in your mere presence turns me on -which isn't exactly a lie- and makes me want you to take me right here and now! There, is that better?"

"Well, actually superb does sound kind of cheesy, and the ending was a little overdramatic…but other then that, yes. It's better." I said, with a smile, as Nez laughed and shook her head.

I wanted to stay here with her, even in the place of my death I wanted to stay. The thought of this ending and being without her soon hurt, it felt as if I was being tortured under Jane's eyes. A part of me wanted to say screw the world and take her somewhere. Take her to a place that no one knew of and just run away from everything, but I wasn't stupid. Demetri and Felix were excellent trackers, it was one of the reasons why Aro kept them around. Even if they were family, deep down I know who they would choose to fight for. So, there's nothing to do. I had to put everyone before me, and come to terms with the fact that in all my life, I have and will only ever love three women. One happens to be my twin sister, the second one who betrayed me who I've realized now was merely a confused in a desperate situation, and the third?

Well, she was absolute perfection. She was the one I was really in love with, the one who opened my heart to things I haven't felt in hundreds of years.

And that kind of perfection shouldn't be with me. I guess I was doomed to be alone with my twin forever.

_Great, just what everyone wishes for._

All I could do now was wish. I wish it was different, I wish that somehow the Volturi wasn't a problem, like I wasn't apart of them or something. But the only time I wasn't apart of them was when I was human.

That's it, that's what I really wished for then. What I wanted now more then ever, I wanted to be-

"What are you thinking about?" Nez whispered against my mouth as she kissed me, breaking my train of thoughts. I smiled, and looked down, not wanting to ruin the moment with my thoughts of my future my myself.

"I was thinking, or more or less wishing that I met you before, when I was human." I answered honestly. The irony of this whole situation was hilarious.

She looked at me confused, and she tilted her head as she caressed my cheek with her right hand. A small smile formed to her lips as she looked into my eyes, the red eyes that I'm currently hating more then ever.

"Before, like in the old days, with no internet or cell phones? I don't think so." She half joked. I closed my eyes and inhaled, shaking my head. People today just can't live without that damn SMN or MSN something or other and their stupid method of communicating through messaging on their cellular telephones. It's pathetic, really. I mean, I may not remember much about my human years, but I knew better then to think we had much technology. It was more peaceful, besides the fires that came of course. That….wasn't so peaceful."I bet you would've loved it, actually.

"Yeah? I don't really see me in that time period. People married young, and had babies, I mean even people your age could-" Her eyes glazed over, as if something just came to her. My body stiffened; I could practically see her brain coming on to something, I'm not so sure about.

"You weren't married before, were you? Wait, don't answer that. I don't- you had kids didn't you? That's why your freaked out about the whole pregnant thing isn't it? You had little Alec Juniors running around once and-"

I laughed then.

I laughed so loud Nez jumped a little and then I laughed even more. Didn't she know me at all? Didn't she know I wasn't the marrying type? I mean sure I was engaged once but she knew-

She didn't know anything about that, did she? Suddenly the situation turned very serious, and interesting.

Should I tell her about all my past lovers? (Okay, So lovers isn't the right term to use. How's bed buddies? Nameless nothings to satisfy me needs?) Do I believe that she could handle it? Nez was a strong girl, but even my past of lays scared me. The women, the one woman who made me the heartless vampire I once was. Would she be jealous? I hope not, Adeline's long gone, and if she will be jealous, I'll just tell her she has no reason to be.

That would work, wouldn't it?

"Nez….I-"

"I knew it! I asked Heidi if you were married once, but I didn't even think to ask if you _were_ married. Damn it. Was she…pretty? Of course she-"

"I wasn't ever married!"

She blinked, and looked down at her feet pacing in a frustrated matter. I smiled at her distress, and decided it might be best if I ease up some tension by coming complete clean with her on the subject.

Yeah, that's right. I'm bringing out the big guns here.

"You weren't?" She asked innocently, I shook my head and her faced brightened like never before. How long had she worried about this? What the hell did she talk about with Heidi?

I'll definitely have to look into that nonsense right away. Apparently Heidi and Renesmee spoke of a lot of things with out me around. Like my blue eyes and freaking chubby cheeks? I didn't even have chubby cheeks so I don't know why Heidi made a fact out of nothing! Okay, so I had a little bit of chubbiness for a couple of months, but I grew out of that phase.

Still, that conversation was for later. This is now and I had to get Adeline off my chest, and the…_others._

Thinking about the first time I had sex made me want to cringe, truthfully it was a experience I'd rather not mention to her given that she was in fact around at the time, but it was such a short event that I didn't even think twice about it. It was done, I moved on. Much like the rest of my sex life. The only sex worth remembering was the sex that me and Nez shared last night. That, I'll always remember till the day I- well, forever.

"No, I wasn't. I was however….engaged."

"You…You were _engaged_?" She said, raising her voice and pushing me. I gripped onto her wrists only to have her twist her arms free. Nez started walking towards the yacht, practically running away from me, but I was faster. I wasn't going to let her leave me upset over something like this. Something that had no meaning to me.

"You. Never. Told me." She sneered at me, her eyes lighting with fire as she spoke each word. I gaped at her, my mouth wide open like a dumbfound idiot. Here I was being honest, and for what? To be yelled at by a girl who was purposely for someone else? A dog non-the-less? Unbelievable, what did she have to be jealous over? A dead person. Where as I had to be worried about everyone in freaking Forks!

She was overreacting, as per usual. I figured I'd be used to it by now, but I never ceased to be amazed by how immature and naïve she could be sometimes. Did she not see the big picture, here? Did she not realize she had more than likely stepped on the ground that Adeline's body has been rotting in for almost four-hundred years?

Astounding.

"Well, perhaps I was doing myself a favor in not telling you before, Renesmee. In fact, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have at all! And please, do not tell me you have never had previous relationships before me." The accusation clearly offended her because she scoffed like a typical teenage girl and placed hands on her hips; never a good sign.

"That is not true." She defended.

"Isn't it? Don't tell me you and Black have never once-"

"EW! No, never! Nothing, zip, the end, good night! That's an absurd assumption, and you know it. Haven't you been listening to a word I've been saying the entire time we've been together?" She cried, her face the very definition of horrorstruck. Maybe what I said was uncalled for, but how was I supposed to know what she has or hasn't done?

Well, I know I was her first, and I'm pretty sure by the way she acted her first kiss was with me. But, this isn't to say she never had any feelings for someone else before. She can't say that I was her first for everything, that's just too hard to believe.

"Of course I have, its just…" I sighed, turning to look at the waves as they crashed onto shore, the white foam bubbling from the interaction. "Let me explain before you go berserk, okay?" I lowered my voice, hoping that would help calm her down some. To my advantage, it seemed to work.

Nez nodded, her face and body still stiff, not completely at ease yet.

I frowned, and stared back at the city, letting my mind wander to back when it was just land, trees and natural beauty. Human memories did fade, some however, did not completely go away. Some memories managed to etch their way in your mind and haunt you forever.

"I was just a boy, Nez, a young, adolescent boy. Adeline and I had known each other since birth, and very close friends. It wasn't until we were teenagers we were informed that we were to be married…" I trailed off, trying to read her expression. She seemed stable, so I continued. "We were at first very surprised and a little upset upon hearing it, but it wasn't long after that we grew even closer to each other, and before I knew it myself, I was finding myself in love with her. Adeline, with her long red hair, her sparkling hazel eyes and her humorous manor, I was besotted."

Renesmee was no longer calm. I could see her nostrils flaring and her face turning red. She wasn't letting me finish my story, as I half expected. I lifted a finger to indicate to her to let me finish, she growled quietly. I took her lack of screaming as a yes.

"I was so besotted that I made the worst mistake of my life." I said.

"And what did you do?" She asked harshly, not bothering to hide the harsh feelings towards this subject. I smiled softly, looking into her warm, brown eyes. I sometimes wished I could be as clueless as she was, at least then I wouldn't have to face reality and all its thorns.

"I told her about the things I could do, Renesmee. I told her and I got killed because of how much I trusted her."

To say her eyes widened and bitter look on her face evaporated fairly quick would be an understatement. It was in turn replaced by shock and something I couldn't really put my finger on. Was it sadness? Anger? I didn't know, but I knew that she wasn't expecting to hear that the girl I was boasting about a couple of minutes ago had a huge part in my death as a human.

"What?" She asked, tilting her head like she was trying to get better hearing access.

I sighed again, accepting the fact that I was going to have to go into the dirty details -once again- of my past. I swear, I've thought more about my human life since I've known her than I have ever before, and part of that scared me because I didn't want to think about the past. The past was horrible, at least I know the future will hold some happy memories of Renesmee.

Speaking of memories.

"I told Adeline about the things me and Jane could do, made her swear on her life not to tell anyone, especially my father… I guess her life didn't mean all that much to her because a couple of days later we were killed. So…there. I feel like I've told you this story before…" I added sarcastically, which Nez didn't seem to find the humor in for reasons I don't know.

Actually, Nez didn't seem much of anything. She was just standing there staring at me like I was from another planet, completely in a daze. I was starting to get a little concerned about her, in fact. I didn't prefer the lost puppy look, it didn't suit her.

I really didn't understand this woman. One second she's throwing a fit, and the next she's comatose. What was I missing?

"Nez? Are you okay?" I asked, touching her arm. She nodded, a movement, a sign of life. I was making progress. I didn't get it, I thought I was the one opening old ghosts, why was she acting like she was more effected by it? So effected that her heartbeat slowed, and I'm pretty sure I turned a paler shade, were that possible.

"I'm sorry, Alec…that horrible." Her voice cracked, and her eyes were sympathetic. I smiled at her reassuringly, cupping her cheek in my hand.

"It happened a long time ago, I've dealt with it." I said, completely composed. I think Renesmee was taking this harder than I ever did. Just then, she looked up, that frantic look from earlier returning in her eyes. Only this time I knew it wasn't fake, I could tell. Now what was wrong? Obviously something I did or said, but what? She knows lots of things about my past and nothing has got her this upset, not even when I told her of how I was practically murdered.

"Have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Dealt with it?" She asked, and I stepped back automatically. What did that mean, had I dealt with it? What kind of question was that? Of course I had dealt with it, its been over three centuries. I think I've had time to think about it and accept the fact that its over and done with. I was starting to think that Renesmee might have a talent for being a psychologist or something.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned, shaking my head in confusion.

She shifted her feet under her and stood in an awkward stance.

"Well, I'm just saying its no wonder you've been so hesitant with me. You know, like telling me things about yourself and your past, you must be afraid that I'll somehow betray you like she did." She explained, and once again my jaw hit the sand.

Is that what she thought? That I had commitment issues? That was the most retarded thing I've ever heard. I made love to her, and she was saying I was holding back?

Our relationship was so screwed up and full of misunderstanding.

"Why in the world would you even think that?" I demanded, and she looked down at her feet, only to have me pull her back up. I wasn't going to let her get out of this. She had some explaining to do.

"Because…you were! And not only that, but I get the feeling you don't want me staying here, with you. Not that it matters, because I am anyways…but I'd still you know, like it if you _wanted_ me to stay."

She was getting more confusing by the second.

I fought for the right words, because as of now I was speechless, positively speechless.

How did we get from Adeline to me having issues to me not wanting her to stay? Was this the way her brain worked? Once again, I was starting to pity Edward. I would probably go mad if I had to listen to her thoughts all the time.

"Okay, first of all, she has_ nothing _to do with our relationship. She's DEAD. And second, you are most certainly not staying with me but not because I don't want to, but because this isn't the life for you." I said sternly, raising my voice a little to make sure she got the point. There was no discussing this.

"I think I can decide on what life is or isn't for me, thank you very much!" She snapped, her eyes just as sharp as her voice.

This is just perfect. This day has been like one disaster after another.

I wasn't having her stay with me. I slept with her, that was bad enough, but have her stay after that? It would be doing what Aro wanted. His plan would be falling perfectly into place and I wasn't having any of that. She deserved so much more than what I had to give her, why couldn't she see that?

"Nez, I told you-"

"And I told you, I'm not going home. I'm staying with you, and we will be together-"

"Volterra is not your home, Renesmee. I wont have you be a slave to Aro as so many of us are."

"If you're such a slave, Alec, then why don't you leave?"

"Because, I can't! Damn it. Don't you think I want to? Don't you think I want to be with you everyday? I want you, I want to be with you forever like I've never wanted anything else in my entire life, but I can't just walk up to Aro and say, 'Hey, I'm one of the most powerful vampires in the world, it was nice knowing you!'" I hissed, throwing my hands in the air.

I can't believe she was doing this to me, I can't believe she was willing to give her family up for me, even if she did love me. This whole situation was a bunch of bull. I knew what was best for her and it wasn't staying in Italy, and quite frankly, I was getting annoyed! With all of it!

"I've seen things he's done when people try to leave. I've witnessed it! Don't you get it?"

My voice was not friendly. My eyes bore into hers trying to make a point and sounding as serious as I could. This wasn't something I had control over, why did she have to be so stubborn? It was making me furious, so much that I could feel the venom in my veins rise, my mouth pulling back over my teeth.

"No! I don't get it! I thought that when you loved someone, you fight to be with them no matter the cost, not hiding away on a yacht for two days. Why did you bring me here, anyway? Was it just so you could say you had me at least once? For memories sake?" She yelled back, her hands shoving on my chest with every other word she spat out at me.

I allowed her to push me because I could understand where she was coming from. I understood why she'd be angry, I however, did not think highly of what she was saying. That I was using her for the sake of having her? So that I could have some sick fantasies later?

I was about to say something when I looked over at the black and grey sky and saw it flicker with lightning, just what we needed.

"Is that really what you think? I brought you here because I couldn't be away from you any longer. I fought it, Nez, and I failed."

"Some fighter you are. You're willing to fight your own emotions but not the man who damaged them, not even if that means you get me in return." Loud thunder almost as raged as her tone followed her sentence, and only moments after that I fell a drop of rain hit my face.

I started at her; I couldn't believe the words that just came out of that mouth, I couldn't comprehend it, actually. Was she ill? Did she have brain damage? Because she seriously did not just imply what I thought she did.

"Are you saying-"

"I'm saying for someone who's as strong as you are, you're a coward when it comes to your Employer." She finished for me, spitting out the last word. "You can fight him and win, and you know it, but you wont. Not even for me." She started to walk away, but I ran and gripped her arm and forced her to look at me.

The rain was pouring now, soaking us from head to toe. It felt so cliché, having in an intense moment and then it started storming. It was like the weather was linked with our moods.

Nez jerked away from my touch and glared at me. I wasn't having any of that.

"Its not that simple, Renesmee! You just can't walk in there, use your ability and get out unharmed! It doesn't work that way."

"Yes, it does! For you it does! I've heard about what you can do, Alec. I've felt it myself, and that wasn't even all of it! They wouldn't even know what was happening, not even Jane is as strong as you."

I laughed dryly at that last part. It was partly true. Jane's ability could only work on one person at a time, where as I could take out very large crowds.

But was it even possible, taking out Aro? The thought never occurred to me before. Its treacherous and unthinkable! Marcus would know about it the second I put the plan into action, my head would be discarded within minutes. Of course, I don't think Renesmee thought of that, she lived in the world where I could just snap my fingers and make everything my way.

I couldn't get everything I wanted like she could, unfortunately I never had that privilege thrust upon me.

She was going to have to learn how to accept that.

"That isn't the point! I. Am. Not. Capable of doing something like that! Its insane! Do not have any concept of how powerful they are?"

"Oh, you mean like Caius? Who sits on his ass and does absolutely nothing but scowl at everyone all day? Yeah, you're right Alec. That is very threatening."

Was she being sassy with me?

"Oh, and if you haven't figured it out yet, because I see the wheels in your head trying to turn; that was sarcasm."

Guess I was right.

"He's stronger than you, Nez. And it only takes a millisecond for any of them -ability or not- to snap your neck!"

"I'm not talking about my neck. I'm talking about using your powers against them. All of them."

She really was naïve, wasn't she? Did she get so comfortable in Volterra that she missed the big picture? Stubborn child, I was never going to get through to her, and it was making me very angry. She had no idea what she was asking, the danger that would not only be put on my shoulders, but hers as well! Besides, I didn't want to fight them.

They've been my family for over three centuries. Jane's loyalty is with them, and if I fought them I would have to fight her, and I couldn't do that, not to her. She is the only family I have, the only link I have to the past that was somewhat pleasant.

She's my sister. We might have not been getting along this past month but normally we're pretty close. I loved her, despite her hatred.

Looking into Nez's eyes, I could see pain and a sense of betrayal behind them. I was doing this to her, that much I was aware of, and I despised myself for it.

But there was nothing I could do about that. I knew I was hurting her, but at least if I did it now then she wouldn't have to spend the rest of her existence hurting. She would live a happy life, a happy life that I was never able to have. It would almost be an insult to have her lower herself to my life, because she was better than this.

"Everything you've been suggesting is ludicrous, Renesmee! I can't overpower them, how do I get that into your head? There is no possible way that I can do that!" I yelled.

"Then let me stay! Let me become a Vol-"

Thinking it to myself was one thing, having her say it was unacceptable.

I grabbed both of her forearms and jerked her close to me harshly, practically growling in her face. She made a noise of surprise and maybe a little fear, at last. Maybe the pounding in her heart was not from arousal, maybe the look in her eyes are realization.

I could only hope.

"Do not _ever _let me hear you utter those words, Renesmee Cullen, do you understand me? Ever! Do you even know what being a guard means? Not only is your whole existence owned, there are certain aspects of being a Volturi that might not seem so pleasant to you. Aspects that include spilling innocent blood!" I spat, disgusted with myself and my horrid way of living. I'd never really felt this dirty about the way I fed until now, until I was convincing the woman I loved to think I was a monster.

Because I am a monster, and she wasn't. I killed innocent people, she didn't. I preyed on the weak and I _enjoyed _it. It was sick, and wrong, and I will make it a point that I will never, ever in my whole entire existence to let her do that to herself.

But, she thought she was invincible and strong. Nothing or no one could touch her. No one except me, that is.

"I know the price that has to be paid for it." She said, very confident in herself and her apparent ability to take a human life. Only it wouldn't just be one human life, it would be thousands upon thousands. She was so clueless.

I laughed viciously as the fury inside me continued to build. She flinched at my cold manner, then narrowed her eyes, trying to remain in control. Control that was only fueled by the leverage I allowed her to have.

I was going to overpower that sense of power and control she was under the delusion of having.

"Fine. Do it now." I suggested, waving my arms in the air towards the town. She blinked at me, not sure of my meaning. I helped her out. "Go out there, pick yourself something young, because they taste better that way, and watch as you drain the life out of it." There was no once of sympathy in my voice, no trace of humanity at all. I was acting and pointing out all of my animalist traits. As a hunter, as a killer.

Her eyes were drenched with the realization of my meaning, and her body started to shake. Her heart, a moment ago so slow, and rapidly increasing its rate. I could see the fear in her eyes, as much as she liked to hide it from me. But she couldn't hide anything from me. Nothing.

"It?" She squeaked out, hugging herself with her arms. I smiled cruelly, and began to pace around her. If being inhumane and horrid was the only way to make her see and go back home, so be it. I was going to hate myself after this, but she didn't leave me with much choice. So, I asked God in advance to forgive me what I was about to say, and proceeded on.

"Yes…we don't refer to human's as actual people. They're things, objects, food. They don't have feelings, Renesmee. They don't know what love is, they do not matter. They are there so we can feed, so we can take every last bit of their dignity and incorporate it into ourselves. Their screams are our signal to bite harder, their pleads for mercy are our cue to make them watch as we slaughter the people they know and love. Humans are vermin, Renesmee." I said, and leaned in closer to whisper in her ear. "Are you still prepared to devote yourself to me, La Mia Perla?"

For several moments we stood like that, and the only thing we could hear was the rain pouring on our bodies, and the only thing there was to feel is the tension that built around us like a brick wall. The heat of her body rolled off of her and hit me like shock wave, her breath was coming out in pants, and her heart had a fast, steady rhythm that someone could have danced to.

I was going to say something to her, but decided against it, as it would have probably been very unwise. I expected her to tell me I was being an ass, because lets face it I am, but instead she gave me one last look of utter disappointment and disgust, shook her head and walked away.

That quite possibly be even worse than her saying something cruel to me. She was so ashamed of me, that she couldn't even find it in herself to speak to me. She found it easier to turn her face from mine and walk away.

This was supposed to be what I wanted, I should have been happy in my victory of getting her to realize what I am; however, I didn't get that lucky. I felt miserable, so miserable that I let her go, I let her leave me on the beach, and I just replied the words that I said to her over and over again in my head. How does someone apologize for something like that, how do I make it up to her without wanting her to stay with me?

Perhaps the question isn't how do I not have her stay with me, but how I can just _be_ with her. She raised an interesting question before I was a total douche.

I needed my freedom, I'd known that for some time now, but just never had the balls to do anything about it. It was impossible to fight them, I knew that. But maybe I could strike a deal, pull some strings, something.

I am after all, Alec of the Volturi, persuasion is my middle name. Okay, perhaps that's a lie, I can't actually remember my middle name, but it is a gift I hold within myself.

If persuasion didn't work, I might have to use force, but I'd worry about that whet I got to it. I would, however, need someone to help me in the convincing to let me leave. I could only think of one person.

I pulled out my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed in the number I needed and waited as the phone rang.

"Hello?" The familiar voice answered.

"Felix, its me."

"Well, I'd say its about time you called. I'd say I've been worried sick, but that'd be a lie. How are things? Did you tell her? Where are you? H-"

"I have a proposition." I interrupted, not caring to hear what he had to ask.

There was a short pause, and then he continued.

"You have my attention…"

"How much convincing do you think it would take for Aro to let me leave the Volturi? And if convincing did no good, how many people do you think I'd have to kill?"

* * *

**Writer's Note: ... Hi? *nervous laugh* We uh...we updated... are you happy? Pleased? Pissed for leaving you for a month? We wouldn't blame you. You people from Formspring...are the reasons we kept writing because we thought we were going to go crazy with all the "When are you going to updates!" questions. Holy crap, you guys are devoted! O_O We loves you! Please forgive us, our lives got in the way...and yeah...sorry! We'll try to get the next chapter up sooner...try. Take a look at our page for outfits and crap, you know the drill. Thanks so much and sorry! :'( We fail as writers...or as updaters.**

**~IITM**


	19. Chapter 19: Bittersweet

**Chapter 19: Bittersweet**

**Renesmee's POV **

Walking back into the yacht and into my room, I felt more like a moron than I had in my life. Granted, my life was not a long period to most people, but to me it felt like seventeen years. In my 'seventeen' life experience, I would never felt so stupid and clueless. I guess Alec had that certain effect on, he had every effect on me, and he was getting what he wanted.

I sat on my bed, and stared into space, all the while I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes and my chin started to quiver. I hugged myself and started to rock back and fourth slightly, exactly as a child. He wanted me to feel like one though.

A child, and that was what it felt like I was becoming.

I was going home, I was not enough for him and I was going home. What else was there for me to do? I could not stay here with him, obviously, so I had to go. At least I could not say I did not try to fight this fate; I did, but one can only fight so much before they start to see the real picture. As much as I was hurting over what Alec had said to me, and how the words stung me and made me feel like an idiot, what he said was true. He killed humans and I most certainly did not, I cannot believe I was almost considering it! My grandparents are humans, my mother was human. No, couldn't kill innocent people, not now, not ever. I did not belong here; I belonged in Forks with my family and friends, the real people who cared.

_Forks…_

The thought alone did something to me that I had not exactly expected. I felt this yearning to actually be there, since I have been in Italy, this was the first time I very much missed everything there. It was a delayed reaction, I know, but I think I was making up for it now. Just thinking about everything brought tears to my eyes, my family, my room, the forest that surrounded our home, the rain and the green, the essence of home.

Not to mention everyone that was there. Mom, Dad, Carlisle, Esme, Uncle Jasper, Aunt Alice, Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose, Grandpa Charlie, Sue, Seth, Billy, Jacob.

I hadn't spoken to any of them in several weeks. Well, I'd talked to my mom and to Rose, but the rest of them I haven't talked to since I've left, which has been a long while.

I needed to talk to one of them, to hear their voices.

I stood up from my bed and went up to the deck.

I had been in my room crying for probably an hour now, thinking over the Alec had said and how there was nothing I could do about it. Now, it was like I somehow snapped out of it while thinking about my family.

I conveniently ran right into Roberto on the deck, he looked surprised to see me alone, and before he could ask where Alec was I cut him off.

"Rob, can I borrow your cell phone? I know, Master Alec doesn't want me to use any phones but I'm not a prisoner and I should be able to talk to anyone I want. So, could you please, please just let me call someone?" I begged, looking into the Italian man's warm brown eyes. Okay, sure the two of us have had a couple of awkward encounters, but the guy seemed decent. Its not as if he had purposely kept walking in when I was indecent.

"Signorina Renesmee misses her family, no?" He said, sounding so sure of himself. I turned around and faced the waters that brushed against the yacht and I sighed to myself.

Was I so damn readable, did I have big huge words printed on my forehead, saying 'Renesmee's pathetic and wants to talk to her family back home so they can reassure her she's special?'

Yeah. I guess I was.

"Family is very important. They would like to hear from you." He said with great confidence, I wish I could think the same as him.

I shook my head, thinking about the possibility of them not wanting to hear from me, and realized it's actually very possible. Why would they? I ran away. I basically told them I wanted nothing to do with them till I got back.

What kind of daughter does that?

Why would any one of them want to talk to me? I'm a selfish-spoiled brat who thought it was a good idea to vacation with the most dangerous vampires in the world, and what did that get me?

A love-affair that will only hurt me; how the heck did this happen to me? Alec was not part of my original plan, but maybe if I didn't fall for him so hard like I did, having him wanting me to go home wouldn't hurt as much as it did.

I smiled softly at Roberto, a pitiful smile that reflected perfectly on how I felt.

"Does that mean yes?" I asked hopefully, watching him smile in return and pulling something out of his pocket.

I looked down at his hand and saw a old fashion cell phone, the beast looked like it came out of Saved By The Bell or something and was property of Zach Morris himself.

_What the hell?_

Before I could do anything with it, he handed me a card and explained it was for the phone, and I'd have to put in that number to call anyone in America. I'm surprised I was able to understand him, he must have been getting better on his English.

I probably thanked the guy a thousand times, to which he made gestures of not worrying about it. I gave him a quick hug, momentarily forgetting about the fact he's seen my boobs, turned red and ran off to the very front of the yacht, where I had confronted Alec about killing Roberto.

The sun was setting, bringing vibrant and beautiful colors into the sky. The raining had stopped and the sky had cleared of dark clouds, only showing the flaky white ones scattered across the horizon. For a second I wondered where Alec was, but I couldn't bring myself to care all that much. He was where he wanted to be, wherever that was.

I stared down at the phone and thought about who I should call, and tried to think out what person would hate me the least.

I wasn't going to call Aunt Rose, because it was an obvious fact she wasn't happy with me, from our previous conversation. I couldn't call Emmett, because he's more than likely be with Rose. I could always talk to Alice, but she'd just end up giving the phone to Dad who would scream at me. Well, lets face it, any of my aunt or uncles were going to hand the phone to Dad, so would Carlisle and Esme. Okay, that eliminates my immediate family.

Who else was there?

I continued to think about it, and a name popped into my brain.

_Jake. Call Jake._

Jacob? I really hadn't given much thought to Jacob lately. Sure, he had come up in conversation but it never went further than that. Jake, my best friend who I had totally betrayed. Yeah, he definitely would hate me, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling of wanting to speak to him. I wanted to know how he was doing, what he was up to and things that have been going on in his life.

Yeah, I should call him.

With shaky and nervous fingers, I punched in the phone number I had memorized since I was eight months old. Jake had invested in a cell phone when he thought I might need to get in touch with him when he wasn't at his house. Naturally, he doesn't use it all that often, but he keeps it with him at all times. I hoped he still did, at least.

I put the phone to my ear and waited as the phone rang. It continued to ring for several moments, and I was about to give up when I heard the familiar husky voice I had known all my life, only it sounded out of breath and choppy.

"H- Hello?"

I took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to speak.

"Jake? Its me." I said, gulping at the realization that I had actually talked. I waited for him to start yelling into the phone, or to start babbling about how I was stupid, but all I heard were distant ruffling noises and a strange whimpering sound coming from the other end.

Okay, that's kind of disturbing. What the hell was he doing, masturbating? I shuddered at the thought. Of course, you'd figure if he got a phone call while he was uh- pleasuring himself he'd have the decency to stop, or not pick up the phone.

You think you know a person.

"Who is this?" He asked, sounding very confused and distant. Now I was starting to get suspicious, he knew my voice. He knew me! What the hell was wrong with him? I was his Nessie, I was his freaking imprinted, and he has the common nerve to ask who I was? I had been gone over a month and he already forgot who I was? I was going to yell at him, to demand for him to think about it, but instead I just spoke casually like a moron.

"Um…its Nessie." The nickname sounded strange and foreign, since no one had called me that in so long. But, the name was familiar, a good kind of familiar, I think, even if I did hate it.

"Nessie? Can you- er…hold on a minute?" He asked, sounding a little more in focus now that he knew it was me. I waited while I heard him mumbling desperately to someone, who I decided to admit was more than likely a woman. It was just easier to think Jacob was by himself, because the thought of him with a girl was weird, really weird. In fact, it was downright gross and unnatural! Perhaps it was because Jacob was always like an older brother or an uncle to me that the idea of him having a playmate was preposterous, I don't know, but it was. I couldn't understand this feeling inside of me at all.

_Jealousy?_

No. No, I'm not jealous, I have no reason to be jealous. Why would I be, when I was doing the exact same thing? I had no right.

But if I were jealous, it wasn't the fact that he was showing someone else affection, it was the fact that I was across the world and he didn't seem to care at all. All my life, I was all that Jacob was concerned about, me. _I_ was his world, and I guess knowing that my absence might have changed that made me a little sad, it shouldn't, but it did. But in another sense I was very happy about it, happy for him. I didn't know who he was with, but I knew that it was a sign that he was getting over me, and that was a good thing. I wasn't first in his life, it was a good thing. Just as I have been going through changes, so has he. I need to accept that fact and be happy about it. I needed to just grow up and get used to the idea that he wasn't _mine_ anymore.

Yeah, it's great.

_Good gosh, I am such a selfish hypocritical rotten little monster._

I knew that what I was feeling wasn't necessarily me, but the little girl that adored Jacob growing up, the one who has spent everyday of her life with him. Being away from him, I realized how much I missed that. No, I was most certainly not in love with him, but I did care for him very much. I couldn't change that fact, even if I wanted to, and hearing his voice did something to me, something that I hadn't even expected. It broke me.

"Jacob?"

After a couple more seconds, I finally heard a more composed voice speak into the phone.

"Nessie…" He sighed, sounding conflicted. "Why are you calling me?"

Okay, not the response I was expecting, but I'd go along.

"Because…I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, you want to talk to me _now_, when its convenient for you right? Do you have any idea how much I have worried, how much I've been losing my mind? You leave without warning, and all you produce for me is a stupid note saying you'll call when you get the chance. I suppose this is your first chance to explain yourself?" He snapped, his voice raising with each word the spoke.

There's my Jake, loud, commanding and annoying.

I pursed my lips and tried to think of a good answer, none came to me. Whatever answer I would come up with, it wouldn't be good enough.

"Listen, I know you have every reason to hate me, but you don't understand…" I pleaded. Maybe calling him wasn't such a good idea after all. I should have known I'd get a ear full from him as well, hell, especially him. But if I could only make him understand, perhaps he wouldn't be so furious with me. Okay, scratch that, I think the truth would hurt him.

_I had to leave because I wasn't in love with you and I was getting tired to feeling like I had to when I clearly didn't. You're just not my type, sorry. But, you understand, right? No hard feelings?_

Yeah, right.

Truth is, I couldn't give him the explanation he wanted to hear, because there is none. I could only tell him the truth, which I will avoid as long as I can.

"Yeah, I don't understand, because you never gave me the chance to try. You just up and left and didn't even bother wondering how it'd effect everyone here. Listen, if you don't want to feel bad over the fact that you upset me, who slept at an airport a few days trying to get information, think of your family, Nessie."

Okay, I just I just got mentally stabbed in the chest. I stood as the guilt seemed to wash over me like a wave of torture.

"You slept at the airport?" I mumbled, feeling like the mold that grew on scum. I didn't know he would search that long, I didn't think about that, I guess. I'm so stupid! What was I thinking, that they'd search for me for one day and then give up? I'm such a moron!

"Ness, I would have been wherever the hell you are forever ago if Bella would have told me where that is."

"I'm kind of glad that you're not, you seem kind of-"

"Pissed, hurt, unimportant? Gee, I wonder why that is, Ness. Maybe it's the fact that I woke up and you were GONE, or maybe I'm just being over dramatic."

"Are you really going to keep throwing that in every sentence?" My voice was starting to sound like one huge yell. The more we talked to more angry I became, like I was going to chuck this into the ocean, and besides me getting mad, I was happy to hear from him, happy to enough he cared enough to be angry.

"Well, what else are you wanting me to say? Say I'm sorry you left in the middle of the night and I miss you?" He asked sarcastically, and I could almost see him spitting into the phone.

"That's a start, yeah! Don't you care at all? Did me leaving wash away any memory of me?"

"I think about you everyday, Nessie, and everyday I'm not with you I try to think of what I did to make you leave in the first place. I was apparently not good enough for you, but then again I never am good enough for anybody, am I?" He sounded so wrecked saying that, and my heart sunk in my chest because I didn't mean to hurt him. I never meant to hurt anybody, I just wanted to find out who I was and what I was meant to do with my life. But I was hurting him, even if I didn't mean to I couldn't deny that I was, and that hurt me. He meant that much to me.

"By the sounds of it there is someone who thinks you're enough, and don't try to deny it, I'm not an idiot." I said, calling him out on what he was obviously doing before I called. He wouldn't be able to deny it, either.

After a few moments of heavy breathing, Jake spoke with no once of hesitation in his voice.

"She's just a distraction; it means nothing."

I didn't know who he was with, but I found myself being thankful I wasn't her. That was harsh, and he totally just lost two cool points for it. I was about to tell him that was really mean, when I suddenly heard a loud slam on the other end. Served him right; douche.

I heard him mumble something about holding on as he dropped the phone, and I pressed my ear closer to the phone being the nosy person I am. I managed to get out a couple of things.

"_That's not what I meant-" _

"_You know, I was an idiot for thinking that for one minute she wouldn't be on your mind-" _

"_I told you from the beginning that this was just casual, it doesn't actually mean anything!"_

Way to go, Jacob Black.

"_Wow, really, Jake? Well, if this is so casual, then you can have fun doing it by yourself, because I'm done playing the mistress. See you around when you have an itch you can't scratch, after all isn't that's what the Beta is for, right?"_

My jaw dropped to the deck, my body was completely still and my heart was pounding in my chest. Were my ears deceiving me, did I just hear what I think I did? There was no possible way, no way in hell that those people would ever get together, much less being casual bed buddies.

Leah Clearwater? Had I entered an alternate reality? Leah was known for her hatred for Jacob, they fought like bitches in heat; no pun intended. When did this happen, was I the only one that knew? Were they rumpling up the sheets before I left Forks? What the hell was going on over there and how much had I missed? I was about two seconds away from having a conniption and drop the phone when I heard Jake's voice.

"You still there?"

I didn't say anything; my mouth was hung open and I could not speak.

"Nessie, Nessie are you there? Are we losing connection or something?"

"No…I'm here, just a little- how should I put it, appalled."

"What?"

"Oh, don't play stupid, Mr. All Mighty _Alpha! _I know about you effing Leah effing Clearwater! Or should I say Dirtywater, seeing as she's been having Jacob Black taking a dip into her freaking pool!" I practically screamed into the phone, perhaps overreacting a little. I mean who am I to judge, but really? Leah despised the world and everyone in it and she verbally let everyone know about it. I couldn't picture it, I couldn't picture him kissing her! It was just unnatural and disturbing.

"Its not what you think-"

"The hell it isn't! Don't give me that movie cliché crap, I know better. I mean how long before you two started going at it, the day I left? I at least had the decency to wait a while before I jumped Alec, but you? No, you just popped one in there, didn't you?"

"I did not- wait did you just say something about jumping Alec? Who's Alec?"

_Oh shit._

I am a major screw up, I just point blank told the guy who imprinted on me that I screwed someone else, and I even said his name! What the heck was I thinking? Oh, I know the answer, I wasn't thinking at all, not a single bit. And now he's trying to figure out who Alec is, fabulous.

"Uh…what? I didn't catch that."

Way to go, Renesmee. Smooth cover up.

"Renesmee, I'm only going to ask you this once-"

"His name is Alec and I'm with the Volturi." I said in a fast pace that no human would be able to understand, I only hoped that Jake didn't either. I wasn't so lucky because he understood everything but the last word which I sort of mumbled. I closed my eyes shut and prayed to God that he would just drop the subject, but we were talking about Jacob here, he didn't let things go.

"You're with who!"

I sort of snapped then, I didn't really have an excuse for it, but it just happened. Like many things on this yacht, I didn't have control. I knew too much about his life, so he might as well know what's going on with mine. Perhaps he wouldn't be too judgmental, I mean he was with Leah so he didn't have room to talk.

"I'm with the VOLTURI, damn it, and I'm having the FREAKING TIME OF MY LIFE! Up until an hour ago, at least. Yes, my cherry got popped and I'm proud because it FELT GOOD and I wasn't too bad at it myself!"

Why is it that my mouth kept moving and I couldn't stop? Why was I telling Jake about my sex life? All questions that would remain unanswered. I was sounding like a crazy person, going on and on and I couldn't stop telling him. It felt nice to get it out and talk someone outside the Volturi, even if it did involve mine and Alec's personal experiences. And I don't know why, but I had to keep going on and on to make it even worse than it already was.

"And I'm very pissed at him at the moment which might lead to angry sex later which I'm admittedly looking forward to, and I don't know why I'm talking to you about this but I just need you to LISTEN to me! Because you never listen, why do you think I came here in the first place? You think I would have ran away if I thought you would've listened to me? I'm tired of everyone telling me what to do and I'm tired of my life being planned for me!" The words were blurring out of my mouth and the realization hit me like a brick. I was actually speaking my mind for once and telling someone in my family how I felt about everything, and it felt liberating. "I happen to love Alec, by the way, and you have no right to judge me! I am not a child, Jacob, and I am actually capable of making my own decisions from time to time, however ill chosen they may be! There, I think I've said everything I needed to say…so…yeah."

"Obviously you needed to say a lot…" He commented, sounding taken back. I laughed to myself and shook my head, still completely shocked that I told him I got my cherry popped by a Volturi. It was all irrational and stupid, but at least now he knew how I felt about everything, about how I didn't like having my life chosen for me, that I didn't regret.

"Is there anything you need to scream out, as well?" I asked, figuring he had a lot of say also, considering he didn't have a choice in a lot of things either, like the choice to imprint on me. I guess me and Jake were a lot more alike than I thought, now that I think about it.

He paused for a moment, and then began to talk again.

"Yeah, actually there is. Why do I always manage to screw up, why is everyone blaming me for you leaving? Because let me tell you, that's a bitch. And speaking of, why is Leah Clearwater the only person who is able to comfort me? That, I can say honestly, is messed up! I cannot STAND her! She's controlling, and moody. Admittedly I like it when she moans out my name but I shouldn't like it! And I swear, if Blondie says ONE more word, you will have one less aunt when you come home!" He let out a deep breath then. "You're right, that does feel good."

I couldn't help but laugh at his outburst, but at the same time felt guilty. Everyone was blaming him? It wasn't his fault, if they should blame anyone they should blame the person who actually left. It was my fault, and I was about to tell him that but he cut be off before I could say anything. It seemed as though the information I'd given him before finally sank in.

_Shit._

"You're in love with a Volturi? What the hell were you thinking, Nessie? I'm coming to get you, pack your shit."

Gosh, I'd hoped he had missed that part. The one time he actually listens to me, I blurt out something important and confidential.

"And you're in love with Leah Clearwater-" I said, trying to change the focus, it seemed to work.

"I didn't say I was in love with her!" He protested, his voice indicating panic. Such a fool, Jacob might not of noticed but I could tell, even if I was on the other side of the world. I guess while I'd been gone they'd been bonding a lot, because he was in love with her, I could hear it in his voice. Though Jacob was a man so he couldn't admit his feelings, typical.

"Whatever you say."

"When are you coming home? Edward said if you weren't here by the end of the week he was coming to get you, its been really rough here. You're parents aren't exactly on good terms right now, 'cause she's saying you need time and he's brooding, as per usual. There wont be any trees when you come back because Emmett's been pulling up the roots, and Alice hasn't been shopping, which is weird for her I guess. Everyone misses you, Charlie especially because he has no clue about anything. Bella keeps telling him that you've been busy, he isn't buying it. I keep asking her where you are, 'cause I had a feeling she knew, but she refused to tell me, I guess I know why now." He said bitterly.

I processed the information which he'd given me and tried to hold back tears that swelled in my eyes. My poor family, they're going completely insane by the sounds of it. By the way I hear things, Daddy hasn't brooded in a long while, and Alice not shopping? Sacrilegious, she didn't go long periods of time without getting new things no one needed, it was unheard of! Poor Uncle Jasper is probably going crazy with everyone's emotions. I couldn't imagine what Jacob was going through, it made me feel horrible.

"I'm leaving very soon, I promise…just relax, alright? I'm not hurt, I'm alive-"

"Yeah, for now! How do we know this guy doesn't plan on killing you? How do you know this guy doesn't have an alternate motive, a master plan up his sleeve? There's a good possibility he's just using you!"

That pissed me off. He had no right to judge Alec, he didn't know anything about him, I did. Even though he upset me and it hurt so much that still didn't change the fact that I loved him, and Jake was just blowing things out of proportion in a typical Jacob Black way.

"He wouldn't do that!"

"You don't know that, Nessie. For all you know, he's just playing with you for a good lay so he can joke about it later. They're killers, and nothing is going to change that fact. I cannot believe you've been writing your own Harlequin novel with the parasite-sheriff while I've been down here getting-"

"Laid! You've been filming your own little nasty ass porno, probably doing it doggie style with a bitch! Literally!"

"Just tell me exactly where you are so I can come get you!"

"Oh, like I want to jump at the opportunity for you to come rescue me! Don't you get it? I'm too busy living my Harlequin life with my leech who happens to be a master at _SUCKING_ various parts of my body!" I screamed, my heart rate increasing at a dangerous level. Anger boiled inside of me like hot lava spilling over onto ground, destroying everything it touched. My veins in my temple felt like they were going to explode, and my animalistic traits were taking over my body. He didn't understand, he didn't understand any of it! Now Daddy was going to read Jacob's mind, and he's going to know everything right down to me losing my virginity! This was not how I imagined this conversation going at all, I was a lunatic to call him. To think that he could actually understand.

"Well, I hope you have fun when he sucks the life out of you!"

"Almost as much fun as it will be for you when you're kissing Leah's ass!"

"I ALREADY HAVE, PRINCESS!"

That was when the line went dead, and I couldn't have been happier for his absence. I couldn't take my anger anymore and I took it out on the damn Zack Morris phone.

I slammed it against the railing of the deck with each word I screamed as the pieces flew in the air.

"Stupid. Smelly. Unreasonable. Flea infested, MUTT!" And with that last word, I threw the phone as hard as I could into the ocean, it slammed into the water with a giant splash to match it.

Suddenly, right when I was trying to catch my breath, the yacht started moving beneath my feet. We were leaving, headed back to home, well Alec's home.

_Alec. Oh my gosh, we're forgetting Alec! _

I turned around, prepared to run to Roberto and demand for him to stop, but I only came face to face with bright ruby eyes that glistened.

"Alec…good you're um…onboard." I stuttered, feeling like a fool for thinking he wouldn't be. I looked at his angelic face and noticed he'd become more pale in the newly risen full moon. Her arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned against the corner, and if I might say he looked quite stunning like he belonged to the night somehow. My heart lifted at the mere sight of him; his voice serene and beautiful, soft like silk.

"You think I'd let you leave without me?" He asked, a confused grimace forming on his extravagant features. Great, not only did I think I was a idiot, he thought so too. Well, at least we had one thing we could say we had in common.

"I don't know, would you?"

He chuckled softly, he flawless teeth glowing against the night, causing a lump to form in my throat the size of Mars. It felt like we were just meeting or something because I was so awestruck of him! It was ridiculous, and it was all because of the awkward situation he put me in. I then started to wonder how long he'd been standing there. Had he just showed up a second ago, or had be been observing my personal meltdown with the Imprinter.

"Were you eavesdropping?"

He nodded casually, obviously not ashamed of admitting it.

I expected him to tell me that Jacob was right, that I should go home and that I was a idiot by falling in love with him. But as he usually did, he caught be completely off guard and said the least thing I'd ever expect to hear.

"I'm so proud of you." He said, running a hand through his hair as he walked over to the corner cushion and sat down. I studied his every move very intently, replaying his words over in my head.

He was proud of me, what the hell for? I'd gone public with our personal relationship who would be telling everyone in my family, risking my life no doubt. But then again, that was more than likely what he wanted. It would only be a matter of days before my father came to retrieve me, and with the big secret out I'm sure that'd make for some interesting gossip. I was a dead girl. My father was going to kill me, and all Alec has to say is he's proud of me.

_Isn't that wonderful?_

"Don't be offended by my asking, but why?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes suspiciously.

He seemed to think about it for a couple moments. He shook his head as he looked out into the ocean, the breeze lifting the hair from his face. The yacht was picking up speed, and I briefly glanced back at Palermo and its twinkling lights from the distance. I'd never forget a place like that, and I'd always appreciate him trusting me enough to take me, even if it hadn't ended on good terms. I was so caught up in us leaving that I'd momentarily forget what we'd been talking about, until he broke me out of my trance.

"Because, you did something I've never had the guts to do. You told Jacob how you felt about everything, including me. It was very brave of you to take that risk." He explained, sounding more ashamed than he did boastful, I didn't feel bad though. He had no reason to fear his family any more than I feared my own.

Was he admitting that I was braver than him, that I was willing to take that chance because I cared that much? Was he saying I was right, that he was a coward? I already knew he was, but him owning up to it was a whole other thing entirely.

I found myself sitting on the cushion across from him, still stunned at his complete honesty, but it still didn't change my feelings about everything. I was still very angry, and if he thought he could just talk his way out of my wrath, he had another thing coming.

"You know, I wouldn't have to be brave if you would just fight for me." I stated, bringing up the same issue that had caused us to fight in the first place. It was the whole ordeal of our relationship, and I was getting restless about it. Could we ever move on from this? I knew we couldn't work now, I get it. So why did he have to make it worse by showing me his signs of understanding? Couldn't he just let me be pissed and move on? It would make things a whole hell of a lot more easier. I could go home, hate and forget this ever happened.

Sounds like a perfect ending to this crap, doesn't it?

Alec then leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees and looked at me. He tilted his head slightly, as his were eyes doing that weird thing, where they made me melt.

_Damn him. _I thought, as I crossed my arms over my chest, turning my head to keep from looking at him. If I looked any longer, I'd forget all together why I was upset and I didn't want to forget just yet.

"I understand why you think I don't fight for you, Nez…But I-"

"Don't try to apologize, Alec. You got what you wanted. I'm going home once we dock back in Volterra. Wish granted. I've already pissed off enough people, so lets just say that we end this on good terms, eh? We can both be civilized can't we?"

Alec shook his head seriously, as if to answer my question all together.

That kind of made me more mad.

He didn't even want to try to be civil about this? He wanted to keep fighting me about this? It's not enough for him to want me home, he wanted me to be tortured before I go as well?

I guess that makes sense. Seeing as how he was him, and he was known for torturing. I can now fully understand the reputation of Alec of the Volturi, and let me tell you, he did it justice.

I was about the stand up and walk away when I heard Alec clear his voice.

"I was just trying to tell you the truth. I shouldn't of been so brutal about it, I know. But it doesn't make it less honest. I'm not worth what you'd go through if you stay. I'm not worth your family."

"I think your worth more." I said, honestly. Alec grimaced and I felt like I could pull my hair out.

_Here we go again._

Did he not understand my feelings for him at all? I mean, here I was telling him I loved him, and that he was worth everything and he's making a face of discomfort and pain.

Was it so bad that I wanted to stay? That I wanted to be with him?

I understood what I wanted. I understood what I'd give up in order to be with him, but to me the benefits outweigh the cons of the situation.

If he thought that at the end I would hate him for my choice, he honestly didn't know me at all. I couldn't honestly see myself hating him for anything that may come in the future. It wasn't physically possible.

Alec then sighed annoyingly and I couldn't help but groan. This way getting so frustrating trying to convince him to let me make my own choices. He was almost as bad as my own family.

Figures.

I was preparing myself for a long chat about what's right for me, when Alec spoke.

"I'm not. But if your completely sure you want to be with me Nez, there's only one way to make it happen."

My head popped up and my eyes widened.

So much for the epic lectures he usually gave and my awesome comebacks.

I starred at him with confusion stamped on my face, and went to ask him what he meant, but he cut me off before I got a word out.

"Let me explain okay?"

I nodded and shrugged, leaning back against the cushion, my face still holding the confused expression on my face, I'm sure.

"You can't stay with me, okay? I wont let you. There is no discussion on that."

"But you said-""I know. But I've been doing something thinking, and I talked to Felix about what you said earlier, about me being powerful enough to take them and-"

I think my mouth just hit the floor then because Alec stopped talking and looked at me concerned.

Did he really think I was serious? I was angry at him then. I said practically everything I could to make him see my side of things but I didn't think he'd actually listen to me. Sure, Alec could take out the whole Volturi, I have no doubt on that but the risk of them killing him before hand was high. Very high in fact, and I don't think I could stand the idea of me standing there while he gets himself kill.

It was like my dream was becoming reality right before my eyes.

His body being held down by some of Aro's other guards while they rip him to pieces, a fire going in the background.

How successful does he think he could be? What were the exact odds?

_Stupid Renesmee! What the hell did you have to open you big fat ugly mouth for? _

I quickly stood up, and covered my face from the horror of reality. Rubbing my face harshly, trying to wake myself up from this recurring nightmare.

Oh god, what did I do?

I suggested Alec use his abilities to be with me ONCE, and he goes and considers it! What a idiot!

All the while, he brings Felix into the mix? How does he know he can even trust the goof?

I mean, I love Felix just as much as the next person, but I wasn't a moron. His loyalties were with his coven. How can Alec trust Felix to even keep this to himself? And Jane? Would Alec have to fight his own flesh and blood?

I began to hyperventilate at the idea, the ship beginning to spin in my vision, my heart was pulsating in my chest as I tried to catch my breath.

"Nez?"

"I can't let you do that."

"But you said on the beach-"

"I know what I said, but I'm a moron, obviously. I can't let you fight your family. Even for me, You can't. You'd di-die, and- and- NO!"

I started to pace around the area. Even if there wasn't much room to pace, I had the need to keep moving. It felt if I stopped all together, so would my heart.

How could he take me so seriously? No one ever listened to me. Was this some kind of karma thing? I run away from home and the man I'm in love with dies because of it.

I was really starting to regret ever coming here. If I hadn't of came here, I wouldn't of met Alec, and fallen for him. If I didn't do that then he wouldn't even consider killing anyone.

He would be the same old, emotionless Alec.

I then think about how much I cared for him, and how he made me feel last night, and mentally smack myself for thinking such things. What the crap?

"Nez I know it sounds crazy, but you were right. It is possible, dangerous yes, especially with Marcus around but not completely-"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

I wanted to bury myself a hole and never come up. I wanted to die for even opening my fat ass mouth.

I didn't think of Marcus. How the heck did I not think of him? He had his mojo of figuring out whose against the Volturi and who were loyal. And call me crazy but what Alec was saying wasn't exactly loyal.

Marcus would sense this shit within a second and then Alec's head would be hitting the floor.

I shuddered at the picture in my head, and wanting to kick my own ass once again.

I was such FAIL!

"Can you calm down? I know what to do, all you have to go is go to Forks and in time I will come and meet-"

"You'd be dead before I even land in the states, Alec! I can't believe you even listened to me, and your considering this? What kind of blood were you drinking this morning?"

"It's the only way, Renesmee! Don't you see? I want to be with you! I can't just let you go back to Forks now. Not when I found a way for us to be free of this, we're so close Nez, so close and, I wont let you leave without trying. Right? We have to try-" Alec's voice was beginning to break, and I couldn't help but walk over to him and comfort him, placing my fingers to his soft lips to hush him. I stood between his legs, his forehead resting on my mine, as I hovered over him. His sweet breath hit my face, and my heart broke in the process.

"All I want to do is try..." He whispered quietly, his tone ripping at my insides. I bit my lip and cupped his face in my hand, rubbing my thumbs across his cheeks, knowing now more than ever that I had no choice.

I had to let him go.

I had to let him go and I didn't even know if I would ever see him again.

That's when I couldn't help but let out a sob, my body shaking as his arms wrapped around my torso, keeping me close. I felt his face press against his stomach, and my hands moved to his hair, gripping on tight.

"I'd rather loose you alive than dead." I said, shaking my head slowly. Alec pulled away, and looked me up in the eyes, his hands moving to my face, cupping me behind the neck. The sweetness of his touch sent my heart into a flipping frenzy.

Before I knew what he was doing, he leaned into me. His soft, full lips inches away from my own, moving in the slowest pace they had ever been before. The heat of my body was increasing, as I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent.

I was going to miss it so much.

Running my fingers in his hair, I felt his lips touch tenderly against mine, like they were memorizing them or something.

The action made me tremble. He'd never kissed me with such gentleness before, and it was possibly the best kiss I ever had, or the worst.

His mouth then moved against my lips slowly, drawing me in. I felt like I was about to jump out of my own skin as any second with him kissing me like this, but I didn't want to stop. I wanted him to hold me. Just for a second. I wanted to make the pain of us parting to fade until it was nonexistence, making it to where it was just us, forever.

But that would be stupid. Because no matter how hard we tried, it was always going to be there.

Still kissing Alec, I leaned my body into his, making him lean back into the cushion further. The breeze of the wind made me quiver as we parted for air.

My heart started hammering against my ribs, a shaky breath escaped my lips. I felt his fingers move in my hair gently, I looked at him in the eyes. They were so bright that they looked like red gems.

Alec and I didn't say anything at that moment; we didn't need too. He wanted this just as much as me. I would be a idiot to think otherwise. Only a part of me, deep inside didn't want this though, because when there's a start there's a finish. And I knew what would happen when we finished.

The end would be that much closer.

I thought about protesting, about making this trip last longer, but before I could get a word out Alec's lips crushed mine, moving forcefully, making body instincts take over, and my mind became the second in command. I was officially gone.

I needed him.

He needed me.

That was it.

Our lips then moved together rougher then before, my breathing intensified as our mouth pushed back and forth against each others desperately. I parted my mouth quickly and willingly and as soon as I did I felt his tongue meet mine. I Welcomed the interaction.

He tasted so delicious.

With my body shaking, I moved my hands from his hair to his chest. His lips found their way to my neck, my body arching as his teeth gazed across the sensitive skin while he sucked. I finally reached for the bottom of his shirt, trying to get rid of the stupid material as fast as I could. My fingers became jittery as my hands made skin to skin contact with his abdomen. His smooth, hard and cool skin sent me chills down my spin. His hands moved everywhere on my body, and everywhere he touched turned into flames. I wanted more.

"I am so sorry, Renesmee…" He groaned out against my neck. I moaned at the sound of his voice, as his breath tickled my skin. "There's something I have to tell you-"

I pulled back to look at him, and saw the grief in his eyes.

"Don't…don't make this harder than it has to be. Just give me tonight, Alec. Please…that's all I need." I begged, trying desperately not to cry again, but I couldn't help the couple tears that escaped, as Alec continued to kiss down my throat, making the talking all the harder.

Alec pulled away from me, his ruby eyes staring straight through me, not quite asking permission for what he was about to do, but not denying what I wanted either.

He then ran his hands through my hair, tracing the lines of my face, his eyes following lovingly wherever he went. He licked his lips in anticipation as they continued to travel down my neck, over my shoulders and down my arms. The sensation was stimulating, and just the feel of his fingertips moving across my skin made me want to scream of agonizing pleasure. It was one of those times where it felt good and cruel at the same time, how did he do that? How did he make my mind go blank within one touch of his marble skin?

Upon reaching my hands, he interlaced his long fingers with mine and raised my arms over my head, his eyes never leaving my blushing face.

I felt like I was in a spotlight or something. I could feel the heat rising in my face and the constant trashing in my chest continue to grow more rapid by the second. I felt warmth between my legs; the hunger in his eyes only intensifying.

He gripped onto the bottom of my shirt and swiftly but slowly, pulled it over my head and off my body. The breeze felt wonderful against me, and suddenly made me more aware of what we were doing.

What the heck were we doing? We couldn't do this here, what about Roberto?

I quickly turned to try to look around, expecting to see Rob standing there with his mouth hung open in shock. As I did so, Alec pulled my face back to his, practically reading my mind.

"It's just us." He whispered, gripping my face in his cool hands, bringing my mouth to his.

I moaned into his mouth, gripping his shoulders and sliding them upwards to tangle in his hair as his tongue continued to invade my mouth. As we kissed, I felt Alec's cool hands reaching up and cupping my breasts which were still covered by my bra. His breathing became more harsh, and it tasted sweet in my mouth, the taste alone made my body even more ready for him. I wanted so much more, there wasn't a word to describe how much of him I wanted. Yet at the same time, his touching me made my chest ache in the realization that he wouldn't be doing so again for a long time, if ever.

Though I tried not to focus on the future, it seemed that was impossible. The future was with us now, driving us to the point that we needed each other. I wanted to stop but I didn't, I couldn't. I also wanted to continue crying out tears, but I knew in the end, the tears wouldn't do anything for us. The pressure of the situation was building, effecting every act that we did to each other, making it the more precious and more heart wrenching. It was as if the world was going a million miles an hour, and yet at the same time it was going so slow, so agonizingly slow.

His lips on my skin felt wonderful, but the memory of them would be too painful to actually enjoy them. His beautiful face, the way his laughter filled the room with it's glorious presence, his rare smiles that lit up my heart with one glance. His eyes, so intimidating to others yet so kind to me. I knew now that I was always going to remember them, I was always going to think about them. No amount of time or distance would ever erase Alec and all that he stood for in my life.

Thinking of his, I trembled in his embrace. His hands slowly found their way to my back, unclasping my bra, trailing the straps along with his hands down my arms, releasing me.

My own hands ran down his chest, feeling the material of his shirt under my fingers, almost tempted to inhale the scent of his clothes. I placed them on his thighs, gripping onto him so tightly, as if that would keep him from leaving me.

I heard him grunt quietly, his fingers moving back forward to my exposed nipples. He used his thumbs to message them, stiffening them with his touch. I clenched down on my teeth, trying to keep myself under control, but the constant reminder of how much I needed him kept resurfacing between my legs.

I moved my hands further around his thighs, aiming for his hips for grasp onto when I felt an object in his pants. I paused and raised an eyebrow, breaking away from his kiss.

"Please tell me that's not what I think it is…"

Alec froze, and followed to where I was looking, a small smile forming on his mouth.

"You missed, that's my pocket."

I chuckled lightly, wondering how in the world we could joke at a time like this. But somehow, Alec made it possible. He always managed to make the impossible possible,

"Stranger things have happened," I replied. "What's in your pocket, Alec?"

He removed his hands from my chest and sighed, acting all of the sudden awkward and very suspicious. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box with a little blue bow on top.

_Present?_

I liked presents, unlike some people in my family. I absolutely adored presents, though now seemed like an odd time to open one. When did he get this?

"What's this for?" I asked, still staring at the box.

"Open it…"

I was hesitant, not really sure what to expect. With shaky fingers, I lifted the top off and stared at the most adorable and at the same time gorgeous necklace I had ever saw before. It was a small sterling silver seashell with an engraved star on the front. It couldn't have been any larger than in inch in size, and it of course came with a chain to match.

I could feel new tears stinging my eyes as Alec picked it up and revealed a secret about the already wonderful necklace. It was a locket, a locket that had a small pearl attached inside safely, hugging the wall of the shell. I gasped at the view, my hands finding my mouth. It might have been a tear jerker to most people, but to me, well it killed my insides just looking at it.

"You already gave me a necklace. Why did you-"

"_I _did not give you anything. That necklace was from someone else, where as this one is from me." He started, his eyes baring into my own. "This necklace in perfect form…represents what I see in you. A precious and caged pearl, hidden from everyone else's eyes. Though, when wanted to be opened, can blow away anyone whom she privileges to see inside. You for some reason, chose me of all people. I will never understand why…"

My face was now covered in tears, there was not a dry spot to call my own. I couldn't help it, he was so beautiful inside and out, he just didn't realize it.

Before I could speak a word, Alec unclipped the chain and reached around my neck to put it on. I looked down at it, and I instantly loved it so much more than the other necklace. He was right, this one was from him. No one else had touched it, and it was our secret. It was more special this way, and for that I would never take it off.

Alec eyes it on me and smiled proudly, but then he looked at my face and his expression became confused.

"What's wrong? Do you not like it?" I could hear the hurt and shock in his voice, I had to banish it.

"No! No, I love it. I just don't know why you're giving this to me." I explained, watching as the relief swam to his face. He wiped away the wetness from my face and kissed my lightly on the lips. I really couldn't understand why he gave me something like this, it wasn't my birthday anymore. He didn't have a reason to just spend money on me like this.

His eyes suddenly turned tender as he pulled away from me, as if he was contemplating something. I thought about asking him what was on his mind but he answered before I could ask.

"I'm giving this to you so you have something to remember me by when we're…separated." He said the last word in a low voice, not wanting to speak it at all. The necklace suddenly felt very heavy around my neck; weighed down by the truth of it's meaning.

"You don't have anything to remember me…I didn't get you anything. I- I have to get you something." I cried, my voice cracking. I should've gotten him something too. I was such an idiot! He's gave me so many things and I've yet to return the favor.

What kind of person does that?

"You don't have to give me anything, that's not why I did it."

"But if I don't, you wont remember me."

"You're naïve if you think otherwise. I could never forget you. Besides, you've already given me something that surpasses anything else." He said with confidence, cupping my face in his hand.

"What's that?" I choked out, leaning into his palm.

"You." He whispered, his face crumbling with the word. He then crushed his lips to mine, pulling me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and didn't dare let go as he lifted me up completely, standing up. My legs wrapped around his waist, and my bare breasts pressed up against his chest.

I expected him to run as fast as he could to our destination, which I was guessing was the bedroom, but he didn't. Instead, he walked in a human pace -perhaps even slower than that- to my bed. I was very aware of his hand pressing against my naked back, stroking it softly. I kissed every part of his face and neck I could get my lips on, memorizing the skin under my lips. Removing his shirt was also on my to-do list, but like him I wanted to go slow in doing so.

We had only tonight. I wasn't going to waste it, because after tonight and when the sun came up, it was over. I'd have to go home and resume my life there, without him.

As we made it to my room, he kicked the door shut behind us, and gently placed me on the bed. The room was well lit, do to the glowing moon outside the window. There was no rain and no thunder, the outside was still and quiet.

"I don't think I can do this…I don't think I can say goodbye." I admitted, not even thinking about what I was saying.

Alec then moved over my body, hovering over me as his chest braced against mine. I stared up into his bright red eyes, my heart ripping inside.

This couldn't be it. This couldn't be our end, could it?

"Shhh….I'm going to fight. You can't stop me from trying. I will come for you." He promised, no hint of hesitation in his voice. I wanted to believe him, and tell him that I would wait for him. But the truth of the matter was, I would be waiting for nothing.

He thought he would be able to, but I knew better. I might have said that he could take Aro, but that was before I actually thought about it, before I thought about Marcus, before I thought about how Jane was apart of the coven. No, he definitely wouldn't come for me, and I think deep down inside he knew that too.

"You shouldn't say things you don't mean." And with that, I lifted my head up so that I could kiss him.

Our pants were quickly discarded after that. I barley remembered undoing his belt buckle or unzipping my jeans. All I could think about was tomorrow was going to possibly be the last time I would ever see Alec; the thought terrified me to no end.

Since the end was so close, I forget about any fight we had ever had. Nothing else mattered now, anything that happened was in the past. All that mattered now was that our needs were met, and though Alec's skin was ice cold, every touch that he made burned my own skin like a flame.

I couldn't handle it anymore, I couldn't hold in the sobs that were rising inside of me. Alec tried to make it all go away, but the more he tried the more it hurt. The more he cared, the more in bled within me.

Alec had managed to get every one of my skin cells under his mouth, torturing me in the process. He then in a swift movement, pulled me off my back along with him. He was now sitting upright on the bed, placing himself between my legs as I faced him. I wrapped my legs around his torso, my heart fluttering when I felt him in the space between my legs.

I just stared into his eyes as he cradled my body in his hands. I was aware that the moment that was drifting closer, the moment that I knew would be the hardest to get through.

It was the moment that Alec lifted me by the hips, and pulled me back down on top of him, causing him to easily slip inside me. I moaned at the pleasure, tempted to bite his shoulder to keep myself from losing it. Our bodies moved together in a rhythmic pattern, over and over he lifted and pulled me back to him. I was helpless against him, and as much as I wanted to release to him, I couldn't. I wouldn't let myself, and he caught on to my resistance to my own body.

"Renesmee, move with me. Denying it wont stop it from happening…" He whispered into my mouth. I bucked against him, figuring there was no use in disobeying. The sensations sent my body into a frenzy, making me more desperate to continue. Alec cried out as I did so, and my heart sped up rapidly. I tried to memorize the way he felt inside of me, the way his face looked as he moved with me. I tried once again, to keep from climaxing, so I attempted to distract myself from what I was feeling by nibbling on his shoulder.

I didn't want to because it was just one step closer to being over and finished.

He pulled my face from his shoulder and studied my expression, knowing that I was still holding back from him.

"You have to come, La Mia Perla. Please…" He begged, his voice distraught and struggling. I suspected he was on the verge himself, but he wouldn't let go until I had.

"I don't want to do be over." I cried, practically heaving from the sobs that broke out. Alec ran his fingers through my hair, wiping the tears with my thumb. He shook his head, trying to reassure me that it'd be okay.

"I love you…" He whispered simply, his lips brushing against mine.

I don't know if it was the way he sounded as he told me that, or just him saying it in general, but I was then somehow motivated to gently shove him onto his back and finally let myself go with him.

I braced my self over him by placing my hands on the bed on either side of his head, and began to rock back and fourth over him. I wasn't prepared for what came over me, but something was happening, something wonderful but kind of scary at the same time. I had had a orgasm the night before, so I thought I knew what to expect, but the feeling that was building inside of me now was on a whole different level.

My breathing became rigid and out of control, and as I moved with him, the force of the pleasure I was experiencing was increasing with every movement.

"Alec…something's happening to me. I…ah- I'm so wet." The next thing I knew I was under neither him and in very new position. He had grabbed my legs and threw them over his shoulders. My lower body escalated, literally in the air as he positioned himself on his knees.

My eyes widened, not expecting the sudden change of pace. I was about to ask him what on earth he was doing when he lowered his lips to my ear, his voice lethal and confident. The sound of it alone made me even more ready for him.

"I'm going to make you feel so unbearably good." He promised, a smirk in his voice. I shivered and my heart dropped. The anticipation of the unknown was driving me insane.

That's when he gripped onto my hips and thrust into me, and the new angle was making me lose my head. I felt my toes curl and every part of my body responded to what doing.

I felt as though I was falling from someplace very high up, falling and there was no stopping it. I gripped onto Alec's shoulders, digging my nails into his skin as he continued to pound into me without effort. My body was on fire, everything within me felt like it was exploding. All of my nerves seemed to come alive, and the simplest touch he made to my body made me cringe with ecstasy.

Alec was right. This was unbearably good, so good that I couldn't do anything but scream out his name and beg for more. This might so really retarded, but it felt as though I was actually going to be bathroom on myself! I was so wet that it was going down my legs and more than likely getting all over him. I didn't understand this, I had climaxed before, but this was different. This was like an orgasm, only ten times better.

Perhaps it was the way he was moving inside of me, or the way I was positioned, I didn't even know. All I knew is, I was losing control of everything, I couldn't even remember my own name.

"Oh god! Alec, I love you!" I screamed, not even hearing the words that came out of my mouth.

"You feel so good, Perla. Così fottere buono!" He grunted, and with a final plunge, I could feel him tensing. I felt depressed yet satisfied. I felt satisfied because of how wonderful it was, and I was extremely depressed because it was done.

We were over.

The next morning was like a blur. I woke up next to Alec, stared at him for several minutes until we informed by Roberto we were almost to the dock. For the most part, everything was silent, though we couldn't stop touching each other. Either we held hands or gave each other small affectionate kisses. We just couldn't fully part from each other.

I had imagined that he was thinking the same things I was. Last night, everything that had happened in Palermo, and how it was all coming to an end. I would be leaving not much longer after we got back to Volterra. Alec had arranged my flight for me, paying the cost and everything by his cell phone, which he had kept hidden from me until now.

As he talked to the operator on the other end, he almost sounded wanted me to go, but I knew better. We had no choice. Though I might have been stubborn before, I knew there was only two options here.

One: he threatened his life and fight. Or two: I go home and we both live, just separately.

I didn't know how much living we'd actually be doing, it seemed more like surviving, if anything.

I couldn't really remember our journey from the yacht to the Volturi Lair, it went by all too soon. Upon walking in, I was hit by the familiar scent of vampire's, and the uncomfortable vibe that surrounded us. I didn't really realize until now how long we had actually been gone. Two days to me, but much longer to them. Alec was a important aspect to the Volturi, they would not appreciate his absence. How much trouble would they give him? I hoped none at all, but that was unrealistic.

We made our way to the double doors to the throne room hand in hand, not saying anything but standing strong. I looked at his face for reassurance but all I got was a tense expression. Suddenly, his hand gripped onto mine desperately, and I wouldn't have doubted it if he was breaking a bone.

Without warning, Alec pressed me against a wall, his head tilted and his eyes closed.

"What's wrong?" I asked, unaware of the sudden panic. I knew we wouldn't be welcomed back with balloons but he didn't need to be this scared, did he? I'm sure after some major butt kissing Aro would loosen up and forgive us.

Alec looked at me, his face pained as he cupped my own in his hands. His whole body was screaming of tension and distress, but I was clueless as to why!

"Are you so you don't want me to try? We could run away, just you and me. We can go to France, London, anywhere you want. Nez, we could turn back right now and never look back. I will make sure of it, I will keep you safe."

He sounded so desperate, it was breaking my heart. A few tears escaped my eyes, and I wiped them away quickly. I had to be strong for the both of us. He was being too tempting.

"Alec-"

"Please, just do this for me. We can go to your room and get your things and we can be to-"

"What about your family, what about the risk? Alec, they can all hear you as we speak, we have no chance!" I tried to reason, hoping he would just give up so it wouldn't be any harder.

He then pulled me into a tight embrace, begging over and over again to let him do this. I couldn't breathe, his grasp was so tight. I tried to comfort him, but it seemed to do no good. I couldn't even move.

"Please…please. Please, Nez."

"We made our choice, this is the right thing to do…I know it. If you betray them you'll regret it, or worse you'll be dead. Do you love me so much that you'd put me through that?"

He looked down at his feet and rested his forehead against mine. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck. I thought we were never going to move until he finally spoke.

"Then promise me something. Promise that you'll never forget this moment and how much I love you. No matter what you hear, promise that you'll believe me when I say _I love you._"

I nodded hesitantly, still unsure of this bizarre behavior.

"I promise, but I don't understand. What's-"

"Because, when you go in that room and hear about what I've done…" He sighed and shook his head. "Renesmee, you will hate me."

* * *

**Writer's Note: HA! We updated within month, ;) We're awesome...not really but we're proud. No worries people, we will start on Chapter 20 VERY soon...possibly tonight as this is the big turning point in the story. Everything you know now is going to change. What you think you know, well you don't know lol. Anyways, on lighter news.**

**We, as crazy Alec and Renesmee fans, have done something mad. We made a LiveJournal Community for them. You heard that right. So, if you have a LJ and would like to join, help yourself!**

**The Link: http:/community(dot)livejournal(dot)com/alec_renesmee/ Just copy and paste the link but put in actualy periods were needed lol. And that's about it! Thank you guys for patiently waiting and reading! We're almost to 500 reviews! O_O ahhh!**

**~IITM**


	20. Chapter 20: Arrivederci, La Mia Perla

**Chapter 20: Arrivederci, La Mia Perla**

**Alec's POV**

I'd never been to hell, though I would imagine it to be something like this. I had put myself in this situation, I had agreed to Aro's wishes and kept them to myself. This was my punishment.

Upon reaching back home, I could hear their whispers from where we stood, just outside the doors. Everyone was in there, and everyone was talking of our arrival.

"_They are back." _Aro sneered, his voice more sullen than usual. "_Alec, your presence is requested." _

"_I told you, he was not equipped for this mission." _Marcus said dryly.

"_Perhaps we should take care of this ourselves." _Caius quipped, and it was the first time since I had known that man that he had ever sounded happy.

I gripped onto Renesmee's hand, probably tighter than I should have, but I just wanted to feel that she was there. She looked at me, obviously confused as to why I was acting so strange all of the sudden. I couldn't blame her.

I then braced her against the stone wall, my body tense and unmoving. This wasn't how it was suppose to go. She was suppose to go back to Forks with no knowledge of my task. If she found out, she would leave hating me, and I couldn't let that happen.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her voice sounding concerned and pure.

I'm messing this up, this is all my fault. Felix was right, I should've just told her. Telling her was the whole point of going on that yacht and I just made it ten times worse. I fell in love with her even more, were that possible. I knew now what if felt like to have her, and now, despite what I wanted to believe, I was going to lose her. I was such an idiot. I had practically forgotten all about the mission Aro had wanted me to do, and I was a fool to think he wouldn't bring it back up when we got back. It was time, he would think I completed it and had convinced her to stay. Standing here with her, I started thinking of all the possibilities of us getting away. I was growing more desperate by the second. I couldn't lose her, not now, not ever. I cupped her face in my hands, feeling her warm cheeks under my fingertips. Her eyes continued to stare at me, worried.

"Are you sure you don't want me to try? We could run away, just you and me. We can go to France, London, anywhere you want. Nez, we could turn back right now and never look back. I will make sure of it, I will keep you safe." I said, trying to stay confident, though that was hard with the voices that came from the room next door.

"_Run away? Really, Alec…I am disappointed." _Aro hummed, bringing his hands together, I could hear the slap echoing into my ears. I hoped to God Nez didn't hear any of them.

"Alec-"

"Please, just do this for me. We can go to your room and get your things and we can be to-"

"What about your family, what about the risk? Alec, they can all hear you as we speak, we have no chance!" She shrieked, shaking her head in protest, though I wouldn't hear any of it. I grabbed onto her, pulling her into a tight embrace. She felt so soft against me, so fragile. Why did I ever agree to Aro's selfishness, how did I think I would actually be able to get away with it? I was going to lose her, I was going to lose the one thing that meant something to me.

I continued to beg her, I must've said please countless times, my voice cracking each time I spoke it. I buried my face in her neck, trying not to hear the sinister laughter of my sister.

"_Hmm…my poor brother. You can't say I didn't warn you about this. Tell me, was it also apart to the Master's wishes for you to fall in love with the half-breed? It's going to be such a pity when she finds out just how genuine your love for her really is…" _She sighed, sounding bored and displeased.

I continued to hold Renesmee in my arms, running my hands through her hair. It was genuine, everything I felt for her was real. Would she believe differently, would she love me enough to look past this? I didn't want to find out, I just wanted to stay here.

"_Master, may I please bring them to you? I'm growing antsy with each lie he spills to her." _

"_Not yet, my dear. This is too interesting to break up. All in good time." _Aro purred.

"We made our choice, this is the right thing to do…I know it. If you betray them you'll regret it, or worse you'll be dead. Do you love me so much that you'd put me through that?" Renesmee said. How could she say this, how could she be so sure about anything at this moment? Had I really convinced her so much, was this my fault too? Indeed it was, like everything thing else. I had made her too willing to leave, I had pressed too many buttons.

If she wouldn't run away with me, then I had no choice to prepare her for what's to come, but how much preparing could I give her for something like this? I would just have to trust that she would believe in us. She would, wouldn't she? Of course she would, I knew that she loved me. I felt it.

"Then promise me something. Promise that you'll never forget this moment and how much I love you. No matter what you hear, promise that you'll believe me when I say _I love you._" I looked into her eyes as I said this, making sure she knew I was desperately serious. Nez looked so unsure of what to say or how to react to what I was saying. All I needed was for her to say yes and mean it. I just needed her to believe in us and no one else.

Nez nodded automatically, not giving me much reassurance.

"I promise, but I don't understand. What's-"

"Because, when you go in that room and hear about what I've done…Renesmee, you will hate me." I said in a low and ashamed voice. I figured I might as well tell her and give her a warning.

She grimaced, disturbed by what I was saying. Oh, I wish we didn't have to go through this.

"_Demitri, go and fetch them, please." _

"Alec, why are you talking like this? Of course I wont hate you!" She reassured, taking my face in her small hands. I closed my eyes and inhaled her scent, making note of this moment and how she cared about me. As much as I wanted to believe she wouldn't come to despise me, I couldn't be one hundred percent sure.

A moment later Demitri appeared, coming through the double doors. He was expressionless, just merely following orders.

"As I'm sure you're aware of, Master is ready for you." He said, motioning his hand into the throne room. I sighed and clenched onto Nez's hand, tempted to just pick her up and flee. It would do no use, though, I knew this. I was here and I had to face them, and I had to explain to the woman I loved of what was going on behind her back.

"I'm keeping you to that promise, Renesmee." I whispered to her, and reluctantly followed Demitri.

I had seen hundreds of vampires walk into this room, guilty of treason and facing death. I always judged them of being fools who couldn't obey simple laws. Now, I was one of them. I was walking into this room guilty for falling in love, for wanting to leave. But that wasn't the only guilt that I had, I would be lucky if that were all that was on my plate. The pressure of the situation was putting an invisible weight on my chest. I didn't breathe as we walked in, seeing the faces of my extended family along with my sister.

Jane looked naturally happy, standing beside Aro with her hands behind her back. What a welcome to get from a sibling. Aro's expression I couldn't quite read, he neither looked upset or pleased, that expression was usually the worst. It meant you had no idea what he was going to do with you, I'd seen that face many time, though they were never pointed at me. And of course, Marcus looked bored, contemplating the situation, obviously sensing my devotion to Renesmee. I wasn't ashamed of my alliance to her, if it came to them or her, Marcus and I both knew who I'd choose.

I looked over to Caius to see if I could read him. He had a small curve to his lips, resembling someone who looked sick, but that was nothing new. Felix and Heidi stood in the far end of the room, both looking down at their feet. They probably felt guilty as well, for what was about to take place. We were all somehow guilty, though. Mine, however, was ten times worse than anyone else's.

I looked over at Renesmee, who was noticing how all eyes were on her. I stood there uneasy as she whispered into my ear.

"Why are they all looking at me?"

My chest fell like it was breaking at how innocent she sounded. I wish I could have been in the dark as she was, I wished I could take it all back and go back to the start. But would it be any different, if I had refused Aro? Would she and I have bonded like we did were I not her guard? For that, I could not regret what I had agreed to.

In this moment, I looked her in the eyes and remembered all the opportunities to tell her. I was going to tell her the first time we kissed, but Jane had walked in. I was suppose to tell her on the trip in general, and I didn't. I was going to tell her last night on the deck of the yacht, but once again, I failed. I was a coward, all I could think about before was how selfish I was and how good she felt against me. I wasn't thinking of her and how she had a right to know, I wasn't thinking of today and what a disaster it'd be. I kept putting it off and just kept thinking I had time to tell her. Well, time's up, and I was going to pay for it dearly.

"It's not about you, its about me." I lied, once again. Lies just kept building upon more lies, I couldn't seem to stop them from coming out of my mouth. What the hell was wrong with me?

If I could've frozen time, I would've done so.

Nez's facial expression changed then, as if she were becoming very aware of everything now. I prayed to God she didn't figure it out, not yet.

She turned to Aro and approached him.

"I'm so sorry, Aro. It was my fault for the whole thing. Please, don't punish Alec or Roberto for this. I wanted to go away for a while, and Alec being the good guard he was, insisted on going with me. It was all last minute so he didn't have a chance to tell you." Nez lied for me. She was actually pretty convincing, but I knew what Aro was thinking: How the hell can I stop her from leaving?

Regardless of that, I quickly grabbed onto her and pulled her back to me, shaking my head warningly at her.

"It's okay, Alec. I was just-"

"Nez…"

Suddenly, there was clapping filling the room. Both Nez and I looked at Aro, who had a evil glint in his eyes and a scary grin to his face. It sent chills through me, because I knew what he was doing.

"I am quite pleased with your performance. Of course, I wasn't exactly aiming for you leaving us, but I'm impressed with your work nonetheless." Aro cooed, as I felt the tension on the room rising with each second that passed.

I looked over at Jane. She looked satisfied and eager, like she was waiting for the same disaster only with anticipation, where as I was dreading it.

I looked at Renesmee and saw her eyebrows pulled together in confusion as she looked back to me.

"What does he mean 'performance'? What performance?" She asked, and I then just wanted to die. This was it.

I looked away from her, trying to avoid eye contact. How was I suppose to actually look at her in the eyes during this? I couldn't, I wasn't even worth looking at.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Jane's smirk widen with glee.

"Tell us, _Nez. _Are you planning on joining our coven?" She asked cheerfully, walking towards us. I shook my head at her, hoping Jane would have some decency not to do this. I was her brother after all, wasn't I? We were blood related even before we were vampires, that had to mean something to her.

I was about to say something when Renesmee cut me off, taking me by complete surprise.

"If it means getting Alec out of trouble, yes, of course." She said without missing a beat. My eyes widened as I looked from her to Aro, his face mimicking mine. I then went over and kneeled before him, though it made me cringe.

"She doesn't mean it, Master. Please…I request for her to leave-"

"I do mean it. It's offered, Alec. A way for us to be together is being offered! I know what we talked about last night but I can't do it. You said you wanted to be with me, this is a safe way." Nez interrupted, her voice full of hope and promise.

If only she knew what she was saying.

The next thing I knew Aro was laughing joyfully, looking from Marcus to Caius.

"How touching." Caius spat. I glared at him, only to get a wicked smile in return.

I then looked at Marcus pleadingly, hoping he of all people might understand. After all, he was in love once.

"You, Master, would understand. You know what it's like to love somebody, which is the least I can say for most of the people in this room. You wanted freedom…and I'm asking for hers. Please." I said, not even thinking of asking him for mine. As long as Nez got out I didn't care.

I couldn't believe she put me in this situation. Didn't I have enough to worry about without the chance of her being entrapped here, didn't we agree on the yacht? Until five seconds ago, she was suppose to be getting on a plane back home. I had to get her on that plane, whether she loathed me or not.

"Alec, this is MY decision!" Nez snapped. "You can't fight for me and have me just wait for you, you'd die. I am not going to just go home and not try, you know this is what I want."

"We had a understanding, Renesmee! You are going home, there is no negotiating this!" I yelled, forgetting about everyone else in there. They didn't seem to mind though, they just watched as we fought.

"Why do you get to make all of my choices for me? I told you the whole time we were on that yacht, that I wanted to be with you." She said, tears streaming down her face. How could one person change her mind so quickly? Or maybe she didn't change her mind at all, maybe she was just letting me think she was going home.

"And who're you to deny the girl her wishes, boy?" Aro commented, a delighted smile on his face.

That was it.

"This does not concern you, you self serving son of a bitch!"

That's when everything got out of control. I lunged at Aro, and before I even knew it Renata was in front of him, preparing her shield. Meanwhile, I had Felix and Demitri in vamp speed taking my arms and pulling my head back by my hair. I could hear hissing and growls coming from all sides of the room, and Nez screaming out Felix's name.

It all happened so fast I wasn't even prepared by Aro's hand that slapped me hard across the face. The impact stung, I could feel my skin breaking under his blow, and my head flew to one side. Were I a human, my neck would've been snapped in two.

"Aro!" I heard Jane yell in protest as I winced in pain. What, now she cared?

Next I heard footsteps, or rather stomps, approaching from behind.

"Don't touch him! Felix, please let him go." I managed to look up at her, and could see her eyes were now completely wet. She cared about me too much; for once I wished she didn't. She didn't need to risk herself getting hurt over me. It was just another bullet through the heart.

I felt Felix's grip on my hair tighten as he pulled my face up, his face disappointed in me. I guess he had a right to be disappointed in me, seeing as how I obviously didn't tell her the truth.

"Tell her." Felix spat. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe, not that I needed to, but it was out of comfort.

"Tell me what, will someone just be clear? What performance!"

"TELL HER THE TRUTH, ALEC! Tell her about Aro's plans, you owe her that!" Felix yelled, pulling even harder. I felt like my neck was going to detach. It reminded me of the time Felix and Heidi insisted on admitting my love for Nez, only this time it was a bit more serious. I was barley aware that Demitri still had me in his grasp anymore, all I could feel was Felix's words.

"Felix…" Aro sighed, not enjoying his outburst. Though I was more focused on Renesmee's face, finally putting all the puzzle pieces together. Her eyes grew wide, her mouth slightly opened, her heart pounding and her body frozen.

"Alec…?" She whispered, her breathing coming in gasps.

She knew. She knew everything, she wasn't stupid. She knew what I was told to do and that I was meant to make her stay.

I struggled to get out of Felix and Demitri's hold, the protest only made their grips tighter on me.

"Nez, please listen to me-"

"No, no it can't be true. Tell me this isn't true." Her cries turned into sobs within seconds, her chest heaved up and down and her face crumbled. My own heart felt as though it was being squeezed into oblivion, truly turning into stone.

_I _was causing those tears, those damn tears I'd always hated so much! Why was I always the one to produce them, and why did I always have to stand there and witness them? Why did this all have to happen to me!

"Release him." Aro commanded with a wave of his hand. The instant he said so, I was free of them and walking towards Renesmee, who was backing away from me.

She kept shaking her head with her hands in her hair and muttering no to herself, her breathing still harsh.

"Renesmee, give me a chance to ex-"

"Were you or were you not ordered to make me fall in love with you! Tell me I'm wrong, please…"

I stood there, completely guilty and ashamed. I couldn't lie to her, I couldn't pass it off, I couldn't change the subject. I was tired of lying and keeping secrets from her, because I'd been doing it for so long. Since the day I met her I hadn't been honest with her, and as much as it pained me, I had to come clean. Everyone did sometime or other, and this was mine. There was an old saying, 'the truth will set you free.' Well, that was bullshit. The truth did not set you free, it broke you.

"In the beginning, yes it was like that. I'm not going to lie to you, yes I was ordered to be your guard to entice you to join, but I fell in love with you. I fell so in love with you, Nez, I couldn't-" I tried to cup her face in my hands, to which she shoved away with disgust. She took a few steps away from me. I tried to close my eyes but it didn't do anything, the pain was still there.

"And how exactly were you supposed to _entice _me, Alec? Was it you escorting me to my birthday extravaganza, or taking me shopping? Was it dancing with me in the club or taking me to Palermo on a yacht! Or how about this, -my personal favorite part of our relationship- was it you TAKING AWAY MY VIRGINITY!" Her fists pounded into my chest as she screamed the words, fury in her voice.

I didn't move and allowed her to punch me as hard as she could, because perhaps if she did her pain would stop and that's all I wanted. All I wanted was to take it all away and forget about what I did, but the truth of the reality was that I couldn't do that. I couldn't take it back, no matter how much I wanted to. I just wanted to hold her and remind her of the promise that she made to me, but something told me she wouldn't listen to reason.

"Well, in order for him to sleep with you, it had to be fake." Jane said.

I whipped my head around and glared at her. Fury was all rising in my veins, I wanted her dead. I wanted them all dead for doing this to me and more importantly to Renesmee. They made me do this, they controlled me and I let them! How could I let them, why did I submit myself to this torture!

Suddenly, Renesmee ran out of the room. I took one good look at everyone in my coven, and realized they weren't my coven anymore. I was not Alec of the Volturi anymore, I was just Alec. Alec, who always screwed up and destroyed everything he touched.

I'd done many bad things in my lifetime, but out of all things, this had to be the worst. It was bad enough that I'd hurt innocent people, but to hurt someone I loved, there is nothing worse than that. And the reason I did it? There was none, nothing worth it anyway.

I tried to follow Renesmee out, but was stopped abruptly by Felix, who was gripping my arm tightly. I glared at him and asked what the hell he thought he was doing. He was the last person I expected to stop me, because honestly I'd never seen Felix so passionate about anything before. He was always so mechanic, taking orders, not showing a sign of interest except when it involved killing. But now, he actually cared. He cared about Nez, of all people. He cared if I hurt her, but he didn't care about me and what this was putting me through.

I needed to go to her, to explain myself to her. I had to try; it was all I had left to give.

And if I couldn't get through to her, and if I couldn't make her understand, than what did I have left? In these two short months, Renesmee Cullen had become the most single important thing to me. With her, I was complete. Without her, I was just a shadow; an emotionless shadow. I needed her like I never needed anything else. She was like the heartbeat I couldn't produce myself, the tears I'd never cry. Watching her walk away from me was like dying all over again. I could see and feel the flames all around me, trapping me like they had for over three hundred years.

The emotions that I felt then were only ten times worse now, and it was all my fault once again. That death, this death, it was all the same, and I was always to blame.

In my head, all I could do was replay moments we had shared. Moments I had took for granted. I could hear her voice speaking to me, over and over.

'_I want to see the sun rise with you. My mother says that the moment she saw my father in the sun, was when it truly felt like she was meeting the real him.'_

'_From the moment I arrived here, I've felt things for you that I probably shouldn't. I…can't explain it, but its always there. Like now, the way you're holding me, it feels like nothing can go wrong.'_

'_Like I can reach for the stars! Oh…a song! I like that song! Twinkle, Twinkle little starrrrrrrr!'_

'_Ooh, I'm shaking in my fuck me boots, really.'_

'_I don't want you to go back there if its going to hurt you.'_

'_But I want you to know that despite the unhappy ending that awaits us, every minute that I spend with you is worth the sacrifice.'_

'_Alec, you don't have to keep anything from me. Ever. Because it kills me when I hear about you and your past from the Volturi, it makes me jealous that they know more about you than me.'_

'_Let me make love to you…'_

'_I didn't plan on this, you know. I didn't fly all the way out to Europe to fall in love with you, Alec. Because I know you are the last being on this planet I should have ever started to care about. You're cocky, self centered, pigheaded, unreasonable and you feed on humans, the one thing that I cannot tolerate. But I can tolerate you; I have no choice but to because if I couldn't…that means that we couldn't be together. And if we're not together, I don't…feel like myself. I understand that there are a million reasons why we shouldn't be together, and why it couldn't work out. And that there are so many people who are against it. But I'm not thinking about them right now, all I can think about is you. I mean, I came out here to find out who I was, and I can't even do that because all I see is you! I don't even remember what I was like before I met you, I am who I want to be when I'm with you. Because you make me feel bold, and loved in a way that I never thought was possible for me. You make me feel like a actual person; a woman.'_

'_I love you, Alec…'_

I love you.

Her words were echoing in my head. Her laughter, her smile, the way she looked when she glowed in the sunlight, how she bit her lip when she was nervous. I could see the way her hips swayed to music, I could feel how silky her hair was under my fingers, and it was all vanishing before my eyes.

She didn't believe me. She promised me and she broke it. I thought she was different than Adeline, I thought that our love would make it all okay but I was wrong.

"Haven't you done enough damage?" I heard Felix snarl.

"Get out of my way." I hissed, and shoved him off. He didn't stop me as I stomped out, which was smart move on his part.

I ran to her room and stopped at her door and placed both of my hands on it, resting my head against the frame. How was I supposed to approach her, how could I get her to listen to me? If I was her, I wouldn't. I would think that I was the scum that I was and that I wasn't worth any of this. I told her that from the beginning, that I wasn't worth it.

Maybe I should just let it go, let her be mad at me, go home and let me be the faded memory I was suppose to be.

Just when I was about to turn around, I heard a loud smash coming from inside her room. I opened the door, and was horrified by the scene before my eyes.

"Jacob was right…Jacob was right. He was right, why didn't I listen to him? Why didn't I stay with him?" She chanted to herself over and over again from the bathroom.

I walked past the disaster that was her bedroom, and into the bathroom where I saw she was sitting in the bathtub, rocking herself back and fourth. Her arms were hugging herself protectively, and her knuckles looked bloodied from which I imaged was from punching the mirrors, because glass was shattered on the floor beneath my feet.

I stepped inside the bathtub and sat across from her, kneeling in front of her, pulling her watered down face into my hands; she flinched at my touch.

"I feel you everywhere, I feel so dirty."

"Renesmee, I'm so sorry."

"Don't touch me! You've done enough touching!" She snapped, pushing my hands away from her face and backing as far as she could into the tub. I stared at her in there, so ashamed and disgusted, and remembered the vision she had showed me of her laying in it with rose pedals. I would pick the rose pedals any day.

"I am begging you…please just listen to me. Please." I'd never heard my voice so desperate and needy. I felt like I was a little boy again, pleading at the hands of my killers, my father, my mother. I was giving all that I had to her, laying it all at her feet and beseeching.

I rested my head on her knees, praying for the first time in a very long time. If anybody was hearing me now, they would have to fix this, and if I could have tears they'd be coming out now. I wanted to cry, I wanted to make myself feel better for what I'd done and I didn't even deserve that.

I lifted up my head slightly, she didn't move from my touch which I took as a good sign even though I probably shouldn't have. She also didn't protest on my explaining myself, so I figured I should take the chance while I had it.

"The night you arrived, Aro had read all of my thoughts and the way I felt about you. He took it to his advantage, Nez. If it wasn't me it would've been someone else and I couldn't handle the thought of anyone else near you. I didn't expect to fall in love with you but I did, and I know I should have told you but I was so scared that if I did you would hate me. So, I didn't, because I didn't want to lose you. I was a coward, a stupid idiotic coward who doesn't deserve you…but I can't help but want you. I need you, Renesmee."

"I thought what we shared was real, and I just realized that I was a joke. Why did you make a joke of me?" She cried, grabbing her face with her hands.

Her body trembled, and I wanted to badly to make it stop, because with each tear that she cried it was like a part of me was dying. The sounds of her sobbing her torturous, making me hate myself for ever living. What was she doing to me? I never felt like this before her, I never cared if I hurt anyone. And now I cared too much, and this was my punishment. My punishment for all the lives I'd taken, my punishment for every lie I'd ever told, it seemed as though it was all catching up to me. The un-beating heart in my chest never felt so hollow, it was as though it wasn't there at all. Did I even have a heart anymore? If I did have one, it was with her, whether she wanted it or not. It'd always be hers.

"You were never a joke, I was! I was the embarrassment, not you. You…you're perfect. You're everything that I'm not, what I don't deserve. Please…if you're going to be ashamed, don't be of yourself. You didn't do anything wrong-"

Suddenly she lifted her hand to wipe her eyes and I got a up close vision of her knuckles and how bad they actually were.

I gripped onto her wrist, she tried to pull away but wasn't strong enough.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" I whispered, staring at the blood on her hands and the small, faint cracks on her skin.

"Well, you're not the only one who can inflict pain on me." She said bitterly, turning her face from me. I pulled her by the chin, but even then she wouldn't look me in the eyes. She couldn't even stand the sight of me. That's when I took charge.

I gripped onto her arm, putting my arm under her knees and lifting her up and out of the tub. She resisted, of course, telling me to put her down. I didn't listen, though I never had before so I didn't know why this was any different.

I placed her on the bed and stood as she kicked herself away from me. I didn't push myself on her anymore after that, I just couldn't watch her crying in that tub anymore.

Once Nez found a place on the bed as far from me as possible, her face turned into a blank page. The light in her eyes disappeared, and she looked as though she hadn't slept in a hundred years, though I knew that would be a lie. I couldn't see anything in her, and it scared the hell out of me. I'd seen that look too many times in myself, and I knew what it felt like to be that way. I didn't want her to feel empty inside, though I knew it was too late for that. I had broken her, in more ways than one.

"I'm going home, and when I got there, I'm not going to ever think about you. I came all this way to figure our who I was and what I wanted, and what I realized is that I just want to go home, to people I can trust." She whispered, looking up at me with puffy eyes. "I can't trust you, I don't know how."

All of a sudden, Nez got up from the bed. I watched every move she made, programming it into my memory. She did something I wasn't expecting, as she always seemed to. She walked up to me, and slowly placed a small kiss on my cheek. Her soft and wet lips burned my skin, it burned a hole inside me.

Out of all the emotions I was prompt to feel, I didn't expect anger to be one of them. But I did, I felt angry at how easily she was giving up, how easily she believed them. She promised me, how could she forget about that? I knew I was probably being selfish in my thoughts, and that I didn't have any right to be upset, but I couldn't help it. I felt all the emotions out of today build up as one inside me. The only thing left in me was rage.

As Nez pulled back and looked me in the eyes, I knew what she was about to say. I could already hear the words forming at her lips, and I hated them. But, they still came out nonetheless, piercing a invisible dagger in my heart.

"Goodbye, Alec." She whispered, fresh tears dropping onto her cheeks. I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even move. I should've though, I should have fought harder, or something. But I couldn't find the motivation. It wouldn't matter if I did, she would still leave.

I watched as she turned her back on me, bag on shoulder, and left the room, not even looking back at me.

I turned and looked around the room, still hearing how she laughed when we played that ridiculous game marco polo, and how frustrated she got with me. This room had been vacant for a very long time before her arrival, she'd occupied of for two months and now, it seemed lifeless without her.

I glanced back at the bed, and saw a necklace laying on the comforter. My first instinct was that it was the necklace I had given her, but much to my surprise it wasn't. It was the necklace Aro had given her for her birthday, I couldn't blame her at all for wanting to leave it. If my necklace had symbolized what I thought of her, this necklace symbolized what she thought of herself.

I picked it up and ran my finger over the blue pearl, thinking of the time I put this on her. She looked so beautiful that night, hell she looked beautiful every night. But that night was different, she had purposely tried to impress me. Now, she wanted nothing to do with me.

But I couldn't understand why she's leave Aro's gift and not mine. Why didn't I see the necklace I gave her right next to it? I would have thought she chucked it at me, but then I realized she never told me she hated me, she never screamed it in her agony. That had to mean something, that had to mean that deep inside of her she still believed there was good in me.

With that thought in my mind, I threw Aro's necklace at the wall, watching the pearl disintegrate. I didn't even give myself a chance to see all the pieces fall to the ground before I was at the door. Maybe I was being too hopeful that this was a sign, maybe I was just imagining things, but I was desperate for anything. I was desperate for her.

Walking out of the room, I called out her name hoping she might hear from wherever she was, half expecting her to answer. But she didn't, and the girl I saw next wasn't Nez. It was the last girl I wanted to see, my sister.

"Did you really think she would forgive you so quickly? I never took you for someone so naïve."

I stood there for a moment, just glaring at this person in front of me. She wasn't anyone I knew, she wasn't the sister that I loved. I felt as though she were some kind of intruder, and didn't feel like giving her the decency to speak to her. Any time I spent bickering with Jane was time I could've had trying to find Renesmee.

So, I kept walking, turning my face from her to keep myself from ripping off her head, though it was tempting. After everything she'd done to me today, all I could feel for her was hatred and there was no lessening it. But, like I expected, Jane followed, not taking the hint. She was never one to give up easily, I guess that was a family trait.

"I say this for your own good, brother. Let it rest and stop embarrassing yourself." She called from behind.

I stopped instantly and turned around to face her, though I felt if I looked her in the eye I would turn to stone. That's how monstrous she was to me in that moment, so filled with malice and deceit that it poisoned me to be in her presence. I saw no recognition in her that resembled the girl I once knew, the girl I tried to save in the fire. In that moment, I wish I hadn't saved her.

"The only thing I have to be embarrassed about is having you to call as my sister."

"Aw, that hurts, Alec."

"You don't know what it feels like to hurt, Jane. If you did, we wouldn't be having the conversation." I snapped back as she stepped closer to me.

"She did not belong here, Alec. She belongs here no more than you belong with the Cullens!"

"You don't think I know that! But she was going to leave regardless, but you had to rub it in, didn't you? You just couldn't leave well enough alone, I had to suffer. If I didn't suffer, it wouldn't have been any fun for you, right?"

"I wasn't the one who lied to the hybrid mistake of the century, you did that all on your own." She spat.

Before I knew it, I felt myself growling and anger building inside me so much that I had to release it. I pounced at her, placing my hands against her chest as I shoved her hard against the wall that cracked behind her. She didn't fight me though, she didn't resist. I think she was too shocked at the fact that I was using physical force, hell I was too. I had never tried to hurt my sister before, but now all I could see was red. She had pushed me one too many times, and I'd had enough. I'd had enough of everyone.

I grabbed Jane by her collar and slammed her again, hissing through my clenched teeth. If I killed her now, I wouldn't have felt sorry, I wouldn't mourn for her, I wouldn't even think of her. Perhaps fate should have had it's way with the two of us, we should have died a long time ago.

"I wish you would've burned to death in that fire, Jane. I wish I could be free of you and your cruelty. You're going to live a very long and bitter life. I thought maybe you would be considerate just this once, that maybe I actually meant something to you. But you don't care about me, you don't care about anyone. So, let me make this as plain as I can for you, sister…" I whispered, leaning closer into her ear, and my voice growing low. "You are the most malicious bitch that I've ever had the misfortune to be stuck with. If it came down to choosing Renesmee or you, I would pick the hybrid mistake. Stay away from me." I hissed, slowly backing away from her.

I looked at Jane's face and saw nothing, she was a statue before me. Her face showed no expression, which I had never seen before, but I didn't care. I hoped I'd stirred up something within her, I would be glad if I was able to hurt her. But, I wasn't going to get my hopes up. Hurting her was like hitting a brick wall; you didn't get in too deep.

Before she could say a word, I left, not bothering to look back at her. I didn't care about the mess I left her in or how angry she'd be, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered to me but finding Nez.

Running towards the main entrance, I had on thing on my mind, one thing to motivate me: that damn necklace. I had many guards look at me as I passed them, speaking among themselves of their thoughts on the matter. I didn't listen, though, I didn't care to listen. None of this was their concern, they didn't know anything about it. All they knew is what Aro told them or what they overheard, which didn't say much. Though their eyes looked at me as if I was a traitor, and coming from their standpoint, I was. I had insulted their master and fell in love with a Cullen. That information alone was enough to kill me. But this wasn't counting how I wanted to leave the Volturi, that was no secret.

Hearing those whispers, I hissed silently to myself. I made it to the main lobby when I felt a hand grab my arm. My first instinct was to fight whoever it was off, but when I looked up at who my attacker was, I stopped.

"Houston, we've got a problem." Felix said, dragging me into a closet which the maid used for her supplies. I hesitantly allowed him to, unsure of what his meaning was. I didn't have time for this, though. Didn't he realize that? What problem could possibly be worse than this? Unless it involved Nez, that is.

"Is she okay, is Nez okay?" I asked urgently as Felix closed the closet door, making it pitch black, though we could still see everything just fine.

I'm sure it looked odd, Felix pulling me into a broom closet, but I didn't give it much thought.

Turning to face me, Felix gave me an annoyed expression.

"No, idiot! She's not okay, she's gone! You know, I told you to tell her before it got out of hand and what did you do? You slept with her and actually convinced her to-"

"I did _not _convince her to do anything she didn't want to do herself!"

"Well, you didn't tell her the truth, either. Now, your problems just got a little bit heavier."

"Look, I have to go. There still might be a cha-"

"There is no chance, Alec! You screwed up. The best thing you can do for her is to just move on and let her do the same."

I didn't know why I did this, but I pushed Felix, though it didn't do anything to him. He didn't even flinch, he just rolled his eyes at me. But, I was having my mental breakdown in a closet. Well, at least it was away from other people.

I kept slamming my fists against his chest and it did nothing to him, but he took it. Felix might have been mad at me, but he knew I never meant for this to happen. He knew I never meant to hurt her, and I didn't. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, it was out of my control. It was hopeless, I was hopeless.

"I couldn't do it, I couldn't lose her."

"Well, you did. And that's not the biggest of your worries right now," He said, grabbing onto my shoulders, as if to make me focus. "Alec, we have guests. Unscheduled guests." He emphasized.

I looked at him with confusion and bewilderment.

"Guests, _now?_" He nodded and opened up the closet door, heading up to the hole that lead to the alley.

I followed, getting more curious by the moment. Who could possibly be coming here now, who would purposely come to the Volturi for a visit besides Renesmee? And having her come back here was out of the question, this was the last place she'd ever step into again. I tried imagining who it'd be, but came up with no answers, none that would interest me. The only person I wanted to see right was probably at the airport.

Jumping through the entrance, I discovered it was pouring down rain. The sun was nowhere to be seen, and it was almost night. The perfect weather to match a day like this.

I could see, however, three figures standing before me through the rain.

The first, a tall, lean figure with honey blonde hair and battle scars all over him. The second, a muscular and bulky figure with dark hair and arms that crossed over his chest, his face looking like he wanted to rip me in two.

And the third, I didn't really get a good chance to look, because his fist contracted and met my face happily. I fell to the ground, my jaw feeling like it needed to be reattached. I looked up to Felix, expecting some sort of help. But, he didn't do anything, he just shrugged.

"Well, you did deflower his daughter."

I turned to look at the three pairs of topaz eyes that were filled with anger, and listened to the hisses that extracted from their teeth.

"Jasper, Emmett…Edward," I said the names as though they were foreign to me. "It's nice to see you too. I don't suppose you're here to catch up?"

* * *

**Writer's Note: ...Holy shit. Why is this chapter up after two days? We'll tell you: Because Tiff wants to go see Eclipse with her madre'! (And Cee of course.) Anyways, this chapter is a little shorter than most, and fast paced. Hopefully you don't think it's rushed, we don't think so. We've been waiting for this moment for some time! :) So, we're past 500 reviews and you guys are amazing! Thanks so much and hope you enjoy Alec this weekend in Eclipse...we know we will ;)**

**~IITM**

**PS: Please give us a Robian Sandwitch! (Inside Joke) THANK YOU!**


	21. Chapter 21: He Who Remained Nameless

**Chapter 21: He Who Remained Nameless **

**Renesmee's POV**

_A girl who laughs and talks a lot, who seems very happy, is also a girl who cries herself to sleep. _

* * *

I probably should of gone home, I probably should of said the hell with this place and left as soon as _it_ happened. But for some reason I had to linger and feel the pain surfing through out my entire body as I walked through the halls that I'd grown to know so well. I felt like I had to even if I didn't want to. I had to know I wouldn't run off crying like a pathetic excuse of a being, although deep down I really was. I was trying to trick myself to thinking it wasn't my fault, that he was the one to take the orders, thinking maybe if I blamed him I would hate myself a little less.

But deep down that's all I was doing; tricking myself.

I had been with him every single day for months. I had felt his kiss, which I could still feel, and I had been with him in ways I'd never been with another. I had known the power cravings and desires of the world he came from, that in the Volturi that's all that mattered. Yet for some reason I singled him out; I let myself believe that he was different from the rest of them, that inside he was not a part of it.

I couldn't even think of his name right now without the hurt washing over my chest and making me want to drop on the floor. I am that pathetic at this point.

I thought maybe the Volturi weren't as heartless as they were made out to be, that once you got through the hatred and cool detachment surrounding them, you would find the person they use to be before, and I thought I was right. I felt that I was right, that everyone couldn't be monsters all the time.

But like most things, I was wrong.

I had never felt a love like the one I thought I shared. I had hugs and kisses from family, yes, but I had never felt whole with another person in my life, and to realize that it was all a plan of some psychopath's? The thought of how every movement that had been made was dedicated to serving someone else didn't sit well with me.

I thought I was smart enough to know the difference between love and what not, but again I was mistaken. I had given myself heart and soul to another, and realized it wasn't him I was actually giving it to. I felt stupid beyond belief, so incredibly foolish, to actually think he was more than them.

I wouldn't make that same mistake twice.

So, I had left him with a simple kiss on the cheek which I could still feel among my lips, and had left the room without second guessing myself. I walked down the hallways, feeling the eyes of others on me, practically burning my skin. It was the walk of shame, and I wanted so much to think it wasn't mine to wear.

I suppose this was the consequences to my idiotic actions. My punishment for leaving my family so naively. With each step I took, I felt as though there was a ripple through my heart. I felt weak, used, unclean, like a whore. There was nothing sacred about any aspect of mine and his relationship, if one could even call it that. There was nothing they didn't know about, the most intimate details were no longer private enough to call mine. It was the most humiliating moment of my short life, and I had never felt more ashamed of myself.

There was really only one person I wanted to say goodbye to in this group of beings, but Felix was nowhere to be found. So, I kept looking through the faces that stared at me, but his was not any of them, which was probably a good thing. I figured maybe he was still in the throne room, picking up the pieces that were left of what happened but I sure as hell didn't want to go back in there, and feel like having salt water thrown at my wounds. I had already made myself look and feel stupid, why would I go back?

So after several moments of searching for Felix, I decided to was time to leave. I had stayed here long enough to the point that it was engraved into my memory forever. I tried to keep my head high as I made my way to the opening that lead to the outside world, making a point not to look back at any of the things I passed. I tried to stay strong, but my body betrayed me, and shook as I parted, tears streaming down my cheeks and my heart feeling as though it wasn't beating at all. I didn't want to cry, but I couldn't stop it from happening. I wasn't made of stone, unlike others.

As I leaped up towards the hole in the ground, I heard voices and yelling from the top. I didn't know why or what was happening but the voices felt and sounded familiar, making my heart pound.

As I entered the alley I was welcomed by rain that hammered against the pavement of the ground, blurring my vision. But, my vision wasn't so blurred that I couldn't see what was right in front of me.

The first thing I saw was him on the ground, looking upwards, his hand gripping on to his jaw, the jaw I was kissing not a few hours prier to this moment. The thought made me slightly sick. My eyes followed his gaze, wondering why he was on the ground at all, only to discover he wasn't alone, Felix was there and three others. My heart stopped as I recognized their faces.

"Dad…" I heard myself say, blinking through the water to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

I wasn't. He was there, along with my uncles, and before I knew it, I was running without hesitation. I didn't know what was going on, but I was so happy to see them there, my family was here, and I could physically feel their presence.

I called out to them again and saw my Dad's head snapped up at the sound of my voice, his hair drenched and getting in his eyes. He was angry, I could tell, but it didn't seem to be pointed at me. It all seemed to be pointed at _him._

"Renesmee." Dad spoke softly, sounding more like a sigh. The sound of his voice saying my name made me want to cry even more, and before I could even blink I felt strong arms wrapped around me, and I buried my face in his shoulder.

He squeezed me so tight that I felt like the life was coming out of me. I didn't think I deserved this much affection after what I'd done. In fact feeling this from him felt strange in a way. I felt as if any minute I was going to break. I didn't encourage anything. I didn't know what to do, so I was weightless in his embrace, and said nothing. My heart still felt motionless in my chest. I tried to hold back the tears that wanted to come. A part of me wanted to push him away and be a grown up about all of this, but the kid in me wanted to let him make it all go away. But I knew better then to be that naïve.

My Dad held me for what felt like forever and for second I forgot everything that surrounded us, well almost everything.

I was very much aware of _his_ eyes watching us from below, and I tried not to pay much attention to the pressure of his gaze but it was unavoidable. I felt vulnerable being watched by him, my heart breaking at the very thought, because he had seen everything that there was to see in me, and the fact that he was witness this made me want to crawl under a rock and never come up. So, unsuccessfully, I imagined he wasn't there. I imaged that I hadn't done anything wrong with him, and that it was all a terrible nightmare. If, however, this was a nightmare, I don't think I was going to be waking up any time soon.

_It's just another thing I can't deny, I guess._

I felt my Dad pull away from me and stared me in the eyes, his own gold ones relieved yet furious at the same time. I looked down to my feet, afraid of what he was reading in my mind, and trying to think of what to say but I couldn't come up with anything.

How much did he know?

Did he know about what _he_ had done to me? Probably, I'm sure he'd caught the story of my thoughts by now and had put the pieces together, and knowing that I felt even more mortified under his gaze.

_I'm so sorry, Daddy. _I thought, and peeked back up at him through my eyelashes to see his mouth in a tight line.

"We'll talk about it later, on the plane." He confirmed, making me want to die. "All that matters now is that you're safe…thank God you're safe." He took my face in his hands, cradling it as if it were china.

I wanted to smile at him, give him a sign of being happy he was here, but it seemed pulling my mouth up to do so was too exhausting.

After staring at me for a few more moments, Dad turned to glare at the figure on the ground, who was currently getting back up onto his feet.

"You." I heard a snarl coming from behind, whom I recognized to be the voice of Uncle Emmett.

I totally forgot he and Jasper were even there.

I turned my head to see that he was pointing at _him, _speaking through clenched teeth.

"I am going to tear off your balls and throw them in the sunlight to see if they sparkle!"

"Emmett…show some composure. I'm sure the boy knows exactly what's in store for him." Uncle Jasper said, raising his eyebrow warningly.

Something in my chest tightened at the thought of them hurting him, which confused me to no end. I should've wanted them to hurt him, to punish him for what he did, but the image of them doing so made me panic. It infuriated me. After all he'd done, I still didn't want him in harm's way? I tried to reason in my head that him getting hurt was just payback that I didn't care and to let them do whatever they wanted to him. He deserved that and more.

Yet, when Dad started stomping angrily towards him with fury in his posture and his teeth ready for attack, I heard a loud shriek, and realized it was coming from me.

"No, don't!" I cried out, shocked at the words that flew out of my mouth, my body shaking with fear.

My father looked back at me suddenly, and I saw a puzzled and concerned look on his face, I also couldn't help but glance at _him, _whose eyebrows pulled together in confusion, tilting his head at me.

_Please stop looking at me. PLEASE._

I quickly tore my eyes off of him and looked back to Dad. I practically ran to him, placing a hand on his tense arm, trying to calm him down. It didn't phase him at all like I hoped.

"He's not worth it." I whispered, tugging on his arm to pull him away.

Dad continued to send glares, pretending not to hear me. _He _continued to gaze at me, and there was something soft behind the scarlet eyes I'd grown so fond of. I wished he wouldn't do that. His face then turned conflicted, probably wondering why I had spoken for him at all. In truth, I didn't really even know why I did myself. Perhaps if they hurt him, it'd be too easy for him, maybe I wanted him to think hard about how he'd hurt me. But then again, did he care? Had be been lying to me earlier about being sorry? I couldn't know, I didn't know what to believe anymore. I had most certainly not accomplished on finding out who I was, because as of present? I didn't want to know who I was, because who I'd been for the last two months, well, I was ashamed to call that girl me.

I had fallen right into the hand's of a monster, and I knew what he was all along. I think in a way, I was more disgusted with myself than I was with him. He was expected to do such things, but me? I had gone against everything I knew and believed. I grew up knowing of the Volturi and their selfishness, their hunger for power, and yet I still went to them. How could I be so reckless?

Staring into those scarlet eyes, I wondered if their owner had another gift besides paralyzing your senses. Maybe they cut off your judgment as well, seduced you, manipulated you. I was his victim, and I'd have to remember the feel of his touch forever.

"Lets go, Nessie." I heard my father finally mumble after a moment, no doubt inspecting more of my thoughts. That was one thing I didn't miss while I was away, the feeling of having no privacy.

Dad was beginning to pull me away, but I stopped him, making him even more surprised.

"Wait just a second, okay?" I asked, glancing over to Felix who was standing a few feet away.

Dad stiffened, but gave me a curt nod. I suspected I didn't have long to say my goodbyes, but that was the way I wanted it. The faster I could get away from this place the better.

I walked to Felix, and gave him a pathetic excuse of a smile, trying to be somewhat casual.

"I guess this is g-" I couldn't finish my sentence, for I was being gripped onto by Felix's huge arms. I hugged him back, not really needing to say anything else.

I did, although, hear a whisper coming from him.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry about everything…I know he is too."

His words hit me like a brick and made my chest swell. I didn't reply at first, not knowing how to answer something like that, so I just pulled back from his grasp and patted his back, much like I did on the first day we met.

Thinking about that day, I suddenly felt a tear slide off my face.

"These things just happen, right?" I quoted myself, and watched as he smiled lightly and ruffled up my hair.

"Take care of yourself, Little Nez."

I nodded, pretending not to be effected by the name 'Nez.' Coming from Felix, it wasn't so bad. Though, it was bad when I started walking away, and I felt a familiar, freezing cold hand touch my arm.

I froze, looking up at my uncles and father who tensed, ready for anything that happened next. I turned my face, to see _him _staring at me with pleading eyes. I quickly snatched my arm free, the feeling of his touch remaining. He had the nerve to touch me now, in front of my family, after everything that'd happened. He must have had balls made of steel after to do something like this, what with Uncle Emmett threatening to make them nonexistent.

"Nez, please don't leave this this…please…" He begged, as he stepped closer to me, only to have me back away. I stared at him for a moment or two, looking into his red eyes and I did the unthinkable. I turned around and started walking towards my family without so much as a word. It hurt, it hurt a lot, but what else was I suppose to do? Run to him and say tell him I forgave him? That'd be a lie, and I was done associating myself with lies. Not anymore.

"You have the necklace, Nez. I know you do, and that has to mean something!" I heard him yell from behind, but I didn't stop walking. I didn't want to hear his voice, his strangely calming and beautiful voice. I didn't want to look at him, up to his face taht reminded me of how much I'd loved him. I couldn't speak to him, because if I spoke it'd just turn into crying soon after. I just needed to get away from him, it was as simple as that.

Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulders, guiding me away as he looked back once more. I could have sworn I heard him mutter something as we all walked away, but I didn't care enough to listen intently.

It was strange, walking away from the place that'd been my home for two months; though it wasn't my home at all. My home was with my family and nowhere else. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure that out, but better late than never, I suppose.

As we arrived at the Galileo Galilei Airport, I said nothing. I made no attempt to ease any of my family's worries for me. My father already knew everything that happened, but out of respect for me, he didn't speak of it out loud. I was really grateful for that. Uncle Emmett tried to make me laugh a couple of times in the cab about me being braver than him for hanging out with the mod-squad but laughter never came from my end.

It wasn't physically possible. Uncle Jasper just sat by the window, saying nothing as well and from time to time he grave me a sad smile, as if to say he understood what I felt.

Though I knew that was possibly true, I didn't think he had to slightest I idea as to why I felt this way. But I'm sure if my father and he put their powers together they would figure it all out in no time.

Thank God they couldn't do that.

I wanted to be left alone in this sadness, which was really pathetic of me and made me feel weaker then I was, but I had no control over that. And all this for a boy?

But it wasn't just any boy, was it? He was it for me. I know now that I probably will never love someone like I loved him. Which is saying something considering it wasn't even real for him but I couldn't help it. He was the first person I ever felt that for. Maybe that makes me even more dumb for falling to quickly but he was _perfect_.

In every possible way he was perfect. We fought, it's true but there was something there. I know it.

_Why do you do this to yourself, Renesmee? Trying to convince yourself that it was real? Stop kidding yourself, don't you get it?_

_IT. WAS. FAKE._

By the time we finally got to the airport, I wanted the plane we'd be boarding to crash. Daddy kept giving me tense glances, and I kept telling him to stop reading my mind if he didn't like what he found it in.

He left me alone after that.

After we arrived at the gate and was waiting for the plane to aboard I found myself sitting alone as my family made their calls to the rest of the Cullen crew. I was surprised at them for letting me have my space, but I guess they figured I'd been through hell today, what could possibly make it worse? I wasn't going anywhere, they knew that and I knew that. So giving me some air might actually help.

So I sat. I waited and contemplated on what to say to the rest of my family when we arrived only to find my mind wondering about the what ifs. For some unknown reason I found myself day-dreaming; imagining it all being real and _he_ being here, kissing me and holding me in his arms. But the day-dreams were cut short, because it just intensified the pain.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Couldn't I go five seconds without thinking about him? Couldn't I go on and live my life as I should have in the beginning?

Couldn't I move on?

I was just about to go look for my dad when suddenly in the corner of my eye I saw a girl about my age staring right at me while bobbing her head up and down, or rather she looked like she was staring at me, when clearly she was in trance with her Ipod which from what I could tell had Stitch on the cover. That's right, she had a freaking Disney character on it.

_What the crap?_

The girl was no one I knew of course, but she gave the vibe of someone with a lot to say. I don't know it could be the way she was dressed but her whole demeanor just screamed, 'look at me, look at me!'

This girl was definitely someone in her own little world and at this moment I kind of envied her for it. I would do anything to be in my own world and far away from this place. The girl had long black silk hair, and light tan skin. Her eyes were big and brown and she wore a long, snug, blue-green t-shirt with a monster looking thing on it who was holding a heart. She also had on shorts, multicolored bracelets, and bright pink feather earrings that were the same color as the heart on the shirt.

As far as make up went the chick went pretty simple with a light pink shade on the lips and a little bit of black eyeliner.

I never been much of a makeup person, but from what I can tell the girl didn't need any of it.

She was young, pretty and completely oblivious to any of it. Though what she wasn't oblivious to was the male gender. I swear every man that walked past her got a smile or a whistle, along with a sparkle in her eyes that screamed, 'do me now.' She had no shame in it whatsoever.

I shuddered to think what she'd do if she saw my family. Knowing the human race, she'd take notice on how beautiful my dad and uncle's were. It was just their nature to gape at them, not that I can blame them. Vampires were just like that.

How embarrassing.

I tried not to pay much attention to the girl. She's clearly happy and having the time of her life checking out the guys in this place, and me?

I felt suffocated.

I was in my own mind again, wondering where my family is when suddenly I felt slender arms wrapped around me. My eyes widened and I thought about screaming when I looked over and saw it was the Ipod girl whose arms were wrapped around my torso. I flinched and just stared at her like she was insane.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, trying to push the girl off as 'humanly' without hurting her. I was failing.

"Shhh, I'm doing what I'm told." the Ipod girl said simply, gripping on to me tighter, and I looked around to see if anyone took notice that this strange girl was attacking me.

No one shared a glance.

Ugh.

"That's nice and everything but no one told you to hug me."

"Your jacket practically screamed it!" the girl said, pointing and then turned her head to her seat, scowling at someone. "Hey, Dickhead, can't you see I'm hugging here? Don't touch my shit!"

I looked down to the jacket she was referring to and froze.

I was wearing the 'Free Hugs' jacket again. I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose. I could still see his annoying smirk on the night of our encounter in that unbearably small phone booth.

'_The thing about foreplay, Nez, is it tends to lead to sex. Which could, in turn, stop the tension all together.'_

My heart began to pound at the memory.

I really was so stupid. There at the time, thinking he was attracted to me and was just trying to get some pleasure out of the deal, when really he was just following orders! The thought of it was making want to cry, which I think the girl beside me noticed because she suddenly let go of me, and sat up straighter then before.

"Aw, Sweet-Cakes, don't cry. I know I got tits and no dick but a hug is a hug!" the girl said, and I couldn't help but crack a smile.

It felt so strange and out of place and it felt like I shouldn't be smiling at all, but how could I not? This complete stranger was thinking I was upset because she had boobs and not a male part and here I was upset because I was a moron who fell for a master plan.

"Oh damn, I'm sorry! I tend to be a little forward, you're not a virgin, are you?"

I gaped at her and she smiled.

"…Oh my gravy, you are aren't you?"

I bit my lip and looked down at my hands because it just felt like the thing to do when you're ashamed. Her words were screaming in my head. I wanted to lie, to say that I was and that he never touched me. But the truth was he did, and the more I thought about it the more I felt sick. I thought I was losing my virginity to someone who cared and that it meant something to him, when really he always intended us to have sex.

So, no. I wasn't a virgin. There was no point in pretending on my part. At least one of us is honest.

_All thanks to him._

I tensed instantly. "No….no I'm not."

"I bet he was a hot catch, wasn't he? He's probably better then my de-virginizer. He actually called me someone else's name; the douche." the girl said so causally.

I continued to stare at her, baffled at her serious case of word vomit. Though I got the feeling this wasn't something that happened to her on rare occasions. Whoever this young woman was, she definitely didn't have any problems speaking her mind. In my opinion, losing your virginity was something that shouldn't be rambled to with strangers, but I guess she had a different version of strangers than I did.

My lack of responding to her only made her laugh, and I returned an uneasy chuckle, not knowing what else to do. She reached into her purse and pulled out a pack of Juicy Fruit gum, and offered me a piece. I smiled again, taking the gum and thanked her.

"No problem. I'm a gum addict…among other things." She cocked an eyebrow, a mischievous look in her eyes, one I knew all too well. "My name is Duckie, what's yours?"

Upon sticking the gum in my mouth, I almost spat it back out from the coughing. Her name was what now?

"Duckie?" I repeated, making sure I hadn't heard her wrong. She rolled her eyes playfully, confirming it.

"When I was younger, my grandma made me watch Pretty in Pink with her over and over, and Duckie was like my hero. Sooner or later, everyone started calling me that." _Duckie _explained, shrugging nonchalantly.

I nodded, and pretended to know what Pretty in Pink was. I assumed it was some movie or tv show, but it was one that I had never heard of nor watched.

Duckie crossed on leg over the other and shoved in a second piece of gum in her mouth, glancing back towards me.

"So, what're you called?"

I hesitated before answering, wondering which ridiculous name I should give her. I decided to give her the honest answer and tell her what I was called.

"Nessie." I said, only it came out more like a confession.

She scrunched up her nose, not hiding the fact that she didn't like the sound of it.

"Ew…"she mumbled, then quickly widened her eyes when she saw my frown.

I was well aware of how stupid my nickname sounded to people, why wouldn't it? I was given the name from Jacob shortly after I was born. However, I was never able to understand why he had chosen that name for me. The Loch Ness Monster? Is that what he thought of me? I thought not; but still, sometimes I took it to heart. Plus, the name 'Nessie' wasn't exactly the most elegant of names.

I chuckled bitterly, glancing over at Duckie who seemed to feel bad. I shrugged, trying to put her at ease.

"Don't worry about it."

"I'm really sorry. I have this thing where I can't stop myself from saying what I'm thinking, and most of the time I really wouldn't give a shit about insulting someone but for some reason I sort of feel bad for you and I don't even know why. But that's not the point, the point is…" she stopped, looking as though she was trying to find the right words. "The point is, you have an ugly ass name, but I'm most certain that doesn't define who you are as a person, correct? So, as long as you don't start babbling about sea creatures, I'm sure we'll get along great!"

She seemed to carefree and bubbly while she said this, and I had to laugh at her sincerity. But as soon as the laughter escaped my lips, I froze, aware of the reason why I shouldn't have been laughing. Him.

Somehow, he always seemed to creep up in my thoughts, no matter what the subject was. I despised him for that. I wasn't even out of Italy yet and I was already starting to miss little things about him. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, disgusted that I had to admit to myself that I allowed myself to be so vulnerable, even now. It still felt like he had some kind of hold on me, something that was pulling me back, suffocating me.

Duckie noticed how tense I was, and gave me a small, sympathetic smile.

Was I that freaking obvious? Did I have something tattooed on my forehead that screamed I was in misery over some guy? I guess so, because she started shaking her head and sighed.

"I have this theory that some women are lesbians because they're tired of the shit that comes from the male species. I mean, what's up with these slime balls anyways? Damn, if I wasn't so keen on the pleasures that come from a joystick, I would probably be gay… But what can I say? We all have our vices, am I right?"

I grinned, nodding in agreement. Duckie seemed to have a way of saying the most inappropriate things but still made her point quite clear. And as much as I tried not to, I started giggling again after a moment, unable to hide the fact that she was amusing.

"How old are you?" I asked, because she obviously had a lot of experience when it came to sex. She looked old enough to be eighteen or so, but she shocked me when she gave me the answer.

"Sixteen," she shrugged, then smirked at me. "Now, don't look at me that way. You're no innocent nor older than I am, except maybe a year or two. You can't be older than seventeen, am I right?"

I nodded, but the truth of the matter was she was nine years older than me. Of course, I couldn't exactly tell her that, though she would probably just laugh it off as a joke if I did.

I tried to change the subject then, not wanting to discuss age, see as how I never would.

"Where are you headed?" I asked casually, attempting at small talk, but then realized that it really wasn't any of my business. But after hearing about her sex life, there really didn't seem like there was a lot that this girl wouldn't tell me.

"ATL, GA, baby!" Duckie practically sang, and I cocked an eyebrow.

"Atlanta, Georgia? That's where I'm going. I mean, I'm not staying there, we just have a layover on our way to Washington." I explained, perplexed at the odds that we were headed the same place. It was like fate was playing a really sick joke on me.

"Holy moly! I guess that means we're going to be on the same flight, eh? What are the odds that would-" Duckie stopped speaking abruptly. I saw that her mouth was hung open and her eyes were blinking. I followed her gaze, wondering what had made her stop her from talking, and rolled my eyes when I saw it was my dad and uncles.

_Figures._

The three of them were walking towards us. Dad raised an eyebrow at me, curious about my newly found friend.

"Oh…my…gravy. Who are those spectacular creatures?" I heard Duckie mutter, and I peeked a glance to see Emmett hiding a smile as they stopped in front of us. It was pretty freaking obvious that he heard her, given his vamp hearing and all. It seemed he was feeling pretty proud of himself, which is kind of expected, yet embarrassing at the same time.

I was used to girls swooning over the men in my family, especially my father, which really disturbed me to an extent. In fact, it was quite gross. And don't even get me started on when I see teenage boys and old men checking out my mother. I always have the urge to beat them up for some reason, because it was just wrong. But call me naïve when I say I was hoping Duckie was different, then again she never gave me a reason to believe otherwise. She liked men, and she showed it with every word she spoke.

Ugh.

I sighed and tried not to express the fact that I was annoyed. I looked at my family, their eyes glancing between the girl and myself. I cringed at what my father could possibly be reading inside her head at the moment.

"Hey guys…" I mumbled, fiddling with my sleeves. Dad quirked a eyebrow at me and shook my head, figuring out what he silently was asking.

_I have no clue. She just randomly hugged me._

My father chuckled silently that only a vampire could hear and the corner of his lips curved slightly.

"Nessie, the plane's about to aboard. Do you have your things?" My father asked me, and I just nodded.

Once my family departed from us to find a seat in the area, Duckie's hand was on my arm, gripping and hitting me with excitement.

"YOU. SPILL. NOW." she said, gasping as she fanned herself with her left-hand. I tried to laugh but it didn't come, once again. It was like I wanted to on the outside but, damn it if my insides didn't allow it to happen.

I was such a failure at living.

"They're just my brothers." I answered simply, as I shrugged, giving her the answer that my Dad and Mom practically programmed me to say whenever the question was to be asked. I mean, I couldn't very well tell people that the seventeen looking guy over there with the bronze mess of a hair was my biological father, could I? With me looking sixteen myself? Yeah, I'd be pulled away and into a mental hospital. So brothers they were in the public's eyes. They wouldn't know any differences. Besides, my dad and I looked enough a like to pull it off. The others? Not so much. Adoption was the answer to that problem.

"Your blood-related to sex-on legs over there? You do realize that I just hit the effin' jackpot here right? Give me the deets, is he single? Gay? Womanizer? Does he like it on top, bottom, back or front? I want to know what that sex-god eats for freaking breakfast, okay? Because let me tell you, I'm so wanting to tap that and find out! Shit, I'll tap them all if their offered." Duckie said, practically wiping the drool from her chin.

I really had to wonder in what culture would it be okay for a sister to know those things about her brothers, but I figured that was just Duckie's personality. Ask now, think later? I didn't know her that long but she made it pretty clear that she was blunt about sex, and with that in mind, I had to keep from gagging.

Poor girl doesn't have a clue. I mean hello; she was eye-screwing my father here!

EW!

I tried to regain composure over the ordeal, but I have to say, I was feeling pretty scarred here. Just listening to her ramble about my dad's sex life. As far as I was concerned, it was non-existence. Maybe that was immature of me and I was in denial but really? The only proof of my parents getting it on was them having me, and even that is something I tend to block out from my mind. The only reason I knew sex even existed was because Uncle Emmett said he had to explain the 'birds and the bees.' My mother wasn't too happy about how he described it in detail but I didn't see her jumping at the chance to explain it, when I came of age. Still, I felt dumbfound and obviously grossed out sitting here with Duckie, even when I opened my mouth to speak, no words were coming out and it was getting kind of annoying.

I tried to gain control over my thoughts and tried think of what a sister would say in this situation but the only brother and sister interaction I've ever witness besides my uncles and aunts was the torture twins, and maybe I'm wrong but those two weren't normal siblings to me.

God, why did my mind always come back to him?

_Stupid, heartless, unlovable prick!_

"You know, I bet you he's nice in size. Probably every girl's orgasmic-dream. Mm. " Duckie just said, sounding as if she tasted something like baked goods or something. I looked away and closed my eyes.

_I think I just threw up in my mouth._

"You do realize your talking about my brother right? That it's actually pretty gross-"

"Oh Hun, relax. I'm not asking you to measure his dick here."

_Yep. Definitely throwing up later._

"Well, Edward's taken. Very taken. In fact, they're in talks of marriage in the future." I said, matter-of-factly, my voice not skipping a beat. I swear, I might as well be holding a damn sign or getting it tattooed on my forehead, screaming:

'He turned her into a vampire so he could be with her for entirety. How's that for serious?'

I don't know why but I felt like since my Mom's not here and all to defend what's hers I should do my part. Lord knows I would of done the same thing if it was-

Crap.

I closed my eyes and breathed, the ache in my heart swelling as I stopped my train of thought. Is this what it was going to be like now? Everything I did, or thought it would always come back to him? And his stupid red eyes?

I mean, I couldn't even mention his own name now. What the hell is wrong with me? I hadn't thought of his name since the moment I said bye to him. Did that make me a pansy? Weak in any way? Gosh I hope not. I didn't want to be weak. I wanted to scream how happy I was, because then it would seem like he didn't hurt me at all. And he did. He hurt me so freaking much, and I hated myself for it.

"Too bad, he could of be-Oh, my Gosh! Where did you get that!" Duckie said, bringing out of my trance.

I tilted my head in confusion, trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about when suddenly, she reached over and pulled the chain around my neck.

My eyes widened in fear, and my heart stopped completely.

His words playing over and over in my head.

_You have the necklace, Nez. I know you do, and that has to mean something!_

"It's beautiful! Where did you get it? I was looking at a necklace just like that the other day only, it wasn't engraved or anything…. 'I love you, Nez'…whose Nez?"

My eyes felt like they popped out of my face, as body began to shake. As the nickname came from her mouth, I could feel tears pooling.

_What?_

I snatched the necklace from her hands quickly, and tilted my head as looked at it closely, my heart breaking at the words.

Sure enough, it had _those_ exact words on the back. The exact words that I wish could be real.

_Oh, he was good. _

I felt multiple emotions build inside of me now.

Hurt. Betrayal. Hatred.

Every feeling I was having at the moment was fused into me, causing me to be livid.

Did he really buy me a necklace and everything just to please Aro? He probably spent like fifty cents on this piece of shit token. I bet he was laughing when he bought it too, enjoying the sick pleasure in knowing he slept with me. Or maybe he bought it before we even left in the yacht.

Oh God, please make the pain stop. Please just make it go away. PLEASE.

I had to get rid of it. I had to get out of here. I had to…to…

"Nessie?"

I looked up at the sound of my name, my face streaming with tears.

My father standing there with a worried look on his face.

"The plane's boarding. Are you okay?"

I scoffed and stood up, giving Duckie a apologetic smile. She smiled back encouragingly as if she knew exactly what was on my mind, about the damn necklace.

Only no one knew. And those who did, didn't understand any of it. I started walking to the gate's door, my father and my uncle's right behind me, Duckie smiling happy at my uncles' asses, as she stood in line also. With each step I took though, I felt my heart breaking. But I had to be strong. I had to not let him break me entirely. Things like this happened all the time to people. I've seen movies, read books where the girl was tricked and it all ended well for them, why was I so different?

I mean sure, they ended up with the prick at the end but I wasn't like that. I was a one way street. Once you go there with me, you can't turn around and go again. That's the one thing I couldn't understand about the chicks in stories. Why they forgave and so easily forgot. Hell, even if I saw his face now, I'd tell him to go to hell.

At least I think I would.

Walking on the plane was easy enough, I sat in the mid-section and made myself comfortable, or tried to. I glanced out the window a lot. Looking at the sky and I couldn't help but wonder what the Volturi were doing.

Maybe I was being stupid, but I half expected to see his face out this window. Which is so stupid considering I just thought I was going to be different now.

I'm so pathetic.

As I sat there and rested my head against the window, I suddenly realized that my body felt extremely heavy, my arms feeling as though I had just ran a marathon. What did I do to deserve this discomfort?

Oh right, never mind.

I tried not to cry. I really did, but once I looked down and saw the silver sea-shell around my neck, feeling like it weighed more then it actually did, I couldn't contain it anymore.

I just began to sob.

My breathing was coming out in gasps; my heart hurting. And my eyes just couldn't produce enough tears could they?

I felt like someone had came and ripped my heart out of my chest; literally and no one would ever understand any of it.

I felt like I was crying for a long time, when I felt a presence sitting beside me. I turned over and saw my father. His face showed concern, which I hated.

_I'm not a baby. You don't have to come and check up on me, Dad. _My inner-voice said, the tone loud and stern, which was exactly the opposite of how I actually felt.

I tried to wipe away the tears away, wanting to make it seem like I was strong, when I felt my father's hand reach over and grip the necklace in his hand, his eyes narrowing on it.

"Nez..." He said in a gentle voice. I flinched at him saying the name out loud, wanting so badly to crawl under something and never come up.

But I guess that wasn't a option.

"It's what he called me." I said, pulling the necklace off my neck and shoving it at him.

If he wanted it so bad, he could have it. It meant nothing to me now. It was just a burden I forgot to give back.

I closed my eyes, as I slumped in the seat. My eyes quickly darting out the window in a effort to avoid his judgmental gaze, but of course I could feel pressure regardless.

After a moment I thought he was giving me the silent treatment, but then he shocked the crap out of me when he spoke, his voice calm and endearing.

"How is it possible?" He asked. I turned a look at him, his eyes were looking down the necklace, his thumb brushing against the hidden words.

"How's what possible?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, and motioned to the necklace. My heart dropped in my stomach.

"How is it that a man whose grown to detest all of the human species, finds it within himself to give such a gift as this to you? I've seen what's in his mind, and I still don't understand."

I shrugged.

"There's nothing to understand." I said simply, wiping my nose dry. I thought about when he gave it to me, the night we spent together, the way he kissed me and had me in his arms all night.

My heart bleed at the memory.

"It was fake, you know that. The gift was a prop to get me into his b-"

I suddenly stopped talking, and tried to stop thinking too, completely forgetting that it was dad I was talking to here and not Duckie, who I could see was ogling at Uncle Emmett a couple of seats a way from us. Emmett wasn't even paying the littlest attention. I felt my father's hand on the arm of the chair tighten beside me. His body tense and a hiss breaking out from his lips. I was pissing him off I'm sure, but there was no way to deny it with Edward Cullen.

His daughter wasn't a virgin anymore and he knew all about it.

SHIT!

"Dad, I…uh….the yacht- I mean, what he and I did, it was- I mean-"

Damn it, I couldn't even get the words out. I was practically shaking!

"We'll talk about it when we get home." he said, trying to control himself. I gave him a weak smile, and looked out my window again.

"Renesmee…."

I turned a look at my dad, confused, when suddenly he pulled me into his chest. His arms gripped on to me tight that made it hard for me to stop the tears. I was so tried of fighting them so, I just let them come this time, just wanting this whole nightmare to go away.

I guess I'm not that lucky.

"Don't you ever, and I mean _EVER_ run away like that again. If you didn't want Jacob, all you had to do is say so. He'll live." Dad said as he comforted me, though it did no good.

I nodded, finding it freaking hilarious that out of all people telling me not to run away, it was the guy who left my mom all those years ago broken. It must be genetics or something, because the more I thought it the more I realized I was becoming like my parents. Who in their right would want that though?

I felt my Dad stiffen and I sighed. I really had to control my thoughts around him. I was so use to having my own privacy that I forgot what it's like to have someone always dissecting your brain. After take off, I finally found sleep. It wasn't the best sleep on the planet but I welcomed the darkness that consumed me. It was relaxing. Peaceful. The only complaint I had was the dreams; they all involved his face. His beautiful, angelic face. The lips that I would never feel again and the eyes I will never look into as I made love to him.

In other words the dreams were definitely a problem, and I prayed to God that it wasn't a forever thing, because if that were the case, I'd never be free of him. Every time I closed my eyes I saw him, and every time I saw him, I shed a tear.

It came to the point where I gave up all together. I stayed up, talking some to Duckie, avoiding the subject of guys and to my surprised it was easier then expected. Duckie was full of life and adventure. I learned a lot about her considering how barely knew eachother, like how she liked giving nicknames, and what her family did for a living. I also learned that she hated her real name and when I asked what it was she refused to say. Basically, the girl told me all the details that made Duckie, well….Duckie. She helped a lot when I couldn't sleep, passing the time. My Dad seemed pretty thankful for her presence for the most part, even if he did mention once or twice that she made him uncomfortable. The only reason that probably was, is because Duckie imagined him in the nude a lot. He didn't say that upfront but some things don't need to be said in order to be a fact.

Sadly though as much as I loved talking to this odd girl, my mind always wondering back to Italy, no matter how hard I tried to stop it. I wondered what he was doing and what he must think of me now. Was he laughing?

Well, that would make one of us.

Arriving in Georgia went by fast. It was kind of sad really. I liked Duckie, and the idea of flying the rest of the way home from the south alone made me really depressed, but it perked up when Duckie handed me her cell phone number and told her she could easily come to visit, seeing as how her parents didn't give a shit. As we departed, she smiled brightly and told me from now on I was to be called _Cookie _and nothing else from her. I smiled in return, liking that idea. I thought about asking her why she wanted to call me that, but thought it best not to bother. She had her reasons.

I was definitely going to call her again, because even though it was a bad idea to get close to a human when your family is a coven of vampires, I needed someone to keep my mind at ease, and that's exactly what Duckie did the whole way to the U.S.

Once we said our goodbyes and I finally found my way home, I'm not going to lie, I was getting kind of scared.

Dealing with my father was one thing, but dealing with the women in my family plus Jake, was totally different. Not that I was worried about Jake too much, seeing as how he was getting busy with his Beta and all but still, he was family. And my family was beyond pissed with me, with good reason of course.

Of course the moment I saw my mother running towards me when we pulled into the driveway away kind of melted all the worry away.

She was just so happy.

"Renesmee! I'm so happy you're home!" she said, practically throwing me on the ground with her hug. I wrapped my arms around her tight, finding it really hard to breathe but I didn't care. I missed her so much! And I didn't realize how much till now, which is stupid but what can I say? I was distracted.

See, there I go again always going back to the habit.

After a moment of not being able to breath my mom finally let me go, her eyes never leaving my face. I studied her, taking it all in. I smiled at her through the tears that were again, falling onto my cheeks. I was just so relieved to be home again.

"How could you leave us like that? What were you thinking?" Mom snapped, gripping on to my arms. I really didn't feel like answering her though so I just shrugged, which she didn't like. But I think deep down she knew what was up, and understood, so she didn't say anything.

"I mean gosh, Nessie. When we found out you were gone, I nearly felt like I was dying again! I understand you want your space but next time give us more warning. I had to keep telling your father to relax and let you make your mistakes and do you understand how hard it was for me to do that? Not just for him, but for me also?"

I nodded, still not talking much.

"Now before we go in there where the party is, do we need to discuss this other problem? What happened with Alec, is he here with you or something?"

I winced and my Dad cut in thankfully.

"Not today, Bella." he said, his voice low and calm, which shocked me considering he was probably still mad at me.

My mom looked at me for just a second before pulling me into a hug, holding me tighter then before. My chest ached. I know I probably should of realized this sooner but it just hit me like a ton of bricks. My Mom was looking at herself in me at this moment, and with that in my mind I wanted to get away as fast as I could, only I couldn't find the strength to fight my mom off. So I just stood there, broken and in need of a repair.

My mother, the bravest woman I knew. Isabella Marie Swan Cullen was no stranger to heartache, I knew this. Perhaps on some level she could relate to me, but I knew it wasn't the same story.. Dad hadn't used her like he used me. I didn't want anyone to compare me to anyone, or say they understood because they didn't. My mom got my dad back, he didn't purposely sleep with her to please his creator. Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose has been together forever and Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice?

They were stuck like peanut butter and jelly.

Me?

I was just plain old bread, that not even my so-called imprinter wanted me anymore.

I felt so beyond pathetic.

I was about to start sobbing again when I saw the faces of my family appear over my mom's shoulder on the front porch.

Alice, Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle.

Esme and Carlisle smiled warmly at me, and I couldn't help but feel relieved they weren't too upset with me. Alice was practically bouncing with excitement, and Rose stood with a hard expression on her picture perfect face. I looked around for Jacob, expecting him more than anyone to be here greeting me. I was wrong, because he was nowhere to be seen. I felt a twinge of regret, wondering if I shouldn't have been so harsh with him the other day on the yacht.

I tensed as I remembered his words to me.

_'How do you know this guy doesn't have an alternate motive, a master plan up his sleeve? There's a good possibility he's just using you! _

_For all you know, he's just playing with you for a good lay so he can joke about it later._

_Well, I hope you have fun when he sucks the life out of you!'_

Jacob always knew, he knew half way around the world without even knowing who _he _was. Me? Well, I was busy living my harlequin fantasy, just like he said.

I lost my train of thought once my mother let go of me and we started to head inside the house. Once inside, everyone hugged me and told me how much they missed me, well everyone except for Aunt Rose, who was still scowling. I tried to avoid her glares but they seemed to burn my skin, and after a while I couldn't stand it anymore.

I swung around to look at her in the eyes, and sighed.

"If you want to kick me, Aunt Rose, you should probably just do it while I'm still on the ground. I know you're dying to tell me how stupid and irresponsible I've been." I spat, sounding more harsh than I had intented. I didn't have any patience for this crap, so if she wanted to bitch me out, she should just do it and stop sending me death glares.

"Renesmee..." I heard Dad mumble by my side, obviously warning me to keep my cool.

"No. She's right, Edward. I'm not going to sugarcoat it for her and say that everything is alright because it's not." said Rose, speaking for the first time since I arrived. "She has put us through hell worrying about her, and she never even considered that when she ran away to those killers!"

"Rosalie, there is a time and place for this..." Carlisle intervened, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Renesmee must be exhausted right now from her trip and-"

"Stop babying her, Carlisle. You know better than anyone what the Volturi are cabable of!" Rose hissed, fliching away from his touch.

"Rose, please..." Esme pleaded, and only now I realized she had her arm around me. If there was anyone who would defend me with the most sincerity, it would be her. I was comforted by her presence, but still, I couldn't help but feel needles jabbing my skin at Rose's venomous words.

"Carlisle is right, Rose. Just give her some space, alright?" Emmett said.

"No one is willing to say this, so I will. Renesmee was very foolish to go there and fall into the hands of that arrogant bastard, Alec. Did she not remember about how HE was part of the coven that tried to kill her! HE tried to use his ability against her? Did she not heave any of our warnings throughout the years, or was she really that dense!"

I was trembling in Esme's arms, feeling my chin quivering and my eyes stinging. What she said hurt, because it was true. Every word of it. I was dense, and stupid for going to the Volturi of all places. Stupid for trusting him of all the guards, stupid for letting myself get caught up in all of it. He blinded me in every way possible. He took me over, and I was weak for letting him. I should have been stronger and said no. I should have left the minute I got there. I should have never left home in the first place. I was better off with allowing Jacob to express his feelings for me, if he ever had any in the first place.

I felt a lump rise in my throat, and thought I was going to be sick.

I heard a growl and turned to see it was Mom. She was crouched slightly, and she was stiff as a board. I'd seen that posture, that posture meant she was ready to attack. That posture always freaked me out. The way her teeth were visible and prepared; I felt scared for Rose.

"Despite your best efforts, Renesmee is _my _child. So, I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut when it concerns correcting my daughter in the future. Got it?" Mom said in a raised voice through clenched teeth.

Soon after that, everyone started talking at once. Their voices were like a ring in my ears; never ending. They were all talking so fast I couldn't keep up. Once in a while I managed to make out something one of them said.

"Guys, c'mon! Lets just-"

"Everyone calm down-"

"You have NO right to-"

"What she does is her business-"

"You don't think he didn't know what he was-"

"God knows what she was doing-"

"Aro probably loved it-"

"She put her heart on the line and for what-"

"You don't know what you're talking about-"

"I LOVE ALEC!"

Everyone stopped talking then and all turned to look at me, who apparently had screamed out. I blinked, realizing what I'd said, whose name I'd said. His name. I said I loved him, I screamed it. To my family, no less. Was it true? Yes, it was. The next thing I knew, my eyes were fluttering, and blackness seemed to welcome me with open arms. My body began to feel heavy and weak, and before I realized what was happening, I passed out onto the ground, hearing one word in my head before I blacked out completely.

_Alec._

And everyday after that, his name haunted me.

* * *

**Writer's Note: Okay, so we know this took a while...but when doesn't it take a while? LOL. Hope you liked it, it's sad but...it had to be done. The honeymoon phase is over and it's time for them to face reality and crap. So anyways...check out Duckie and Nez's outfits! A link is on our profile! :) Hope you like Duckie, because she isn't going anywhere! :D Love you guys and make sure to review! Muah!**

**~IITM**


	22. Chapter 22: Ghost

**Chapter 22: Ghost **

**Alec's POV **

'_Stay away from my daughter. You come anywhere near her ever again, I will kill you.'_

Edward's words continued to reply in my head as I watched the four of them leave.

I wanted to run after her. I wanted to tell her that she was stupid for ever doubting me and my feelings for her, and for ever listening to these fools. But somehow in all of this mess I couldn't physically do what I wanted. Because deep down I knew that even if I told her

all those things, it wouldn't matter, because I was the one who screwed it all up.

I was the one who listened. I was the one who practically made her putty in their hands. She felt like I used her now, but when it came down to it, were both were. I was a tool in everything that happened in the Volturi.

Alec, one of the most powerful vampires in the world?

What. A. joke.

I was a laughing stock to everyone in my coven. But did it matter? No. The only person that was ever going to matter was walking away from me. And I had no control over what was happening. I was unworthy. I had broke her and myself in the process and all I could feel inside was rage and pain, mixing together in my chest and it was causing me physical harm. It hurt everywhere in my body, making me feel weak and for the first time in my life.

I felt alone. I couldn't for the life of figure out why I let this happen to us. Why had I been so stupid? I couldn't come up with a logical reasons. I freaking let those bastards ruin this for me. I could of told her; I should have! But I didn't, and why? Because I didn't want to lose her, and look what happened! I freaking lost everything!

I made it worse. I knew a part of me knew that it was stupid, not telling her and everything but we were in a good place. A safe place, she was going to go happily, and I was going to make it possible for us, and I didn't want to break that, knowing that our time together wasn't a permanent thing at the moment, though I was willing to change that. I was willing to fight then, now?

I wanted to get away. I wanted to run and I wanted to kill anything and everything that got in my way, and I was going to make this better, one way or another. I was going to make her happy. I was determined to, but then again everything I planned before was shot to hell and I knew if I went to her at all, Nez would break even more at my doing.

I didn't know what to do. Go to her later, not go at all? All I knew was I had to get away now. I had to be free, if not for her then for me. I couldn't be with them any longer then I already have, they've done enough damage to me to last a life time. I was done.

Fed up, and I was going to leave. Nothing could hold me back now, not even Felix who followed me back to my room. My pace quickened as I looked through my room, my clothes still damp from the rain.

"What the hell are you doing now?" Felix asked, his body leaning against my door frame, as I raided through my room, gathering useless stuff. Nothing in this damn room seemed important enough to take. But then again with Nez officially gone, nothing was ever going to be important again. Life itself had no meaning and it's about damn time everyone around this god-forsaken place figured that out.

The longer I stayed in my room, the more anger I felt. The ache in my chest becoming heavier and heavier. A pain spread throughout my entire body, that I, myself have never felt before. I was practically seeing red everywhere! The only thing in my mind was Nez; how I just let her go. If she can go, so could I, at least that's what I told myself in my head. My body trembling at the image of her walking away from me. Not looking back.

Glancing up at Felix, I grabbed a bag and threw it on my chair, picking up some of my drawings from years past, heaving it in place. Felix's eyes widen in realization.

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?"

"Don't talk to me." I said, my voice low as I continued to work around the room.

Really, there wasn't anything I wanted was there?

"Alec, you can't just walk out of here, you know this. You're not thinking clearly!" Felix said, walking over to me, and grabbing into my arm. I shoved Felix off, pushing him away from me, avoiding eye contact all together. I felt so detached from myself, truly lost and the last thing I needed was someone telling me what I already knew. A part of me was dead, a part of me was at the freaking airport probably leaving me forever.

Did he not get that? Did he not understand?

I loved her. I still do and no matter what I did that wasn't going to change and I couldn't of stopped her from walking away me because I knew I was in the wrong here. The very idea that I hurt her was like poison in my mind and a bullet in the chest. It was all I could think about, all I could Imagine. It made me feel ill with guilt and pain.

All I could picture was those damn tears. Tears I made happen. She should never have to cry. She was too beautiful and innocent for that and what did I do? I basically painted them on her face myself!

"Al, man… I know what you're going through-"

"You have no idea! You…you've never had to watch the one reason for living, just walk away from you, because you did something stupid! You've never made her cry!" I snapped, feeling my breathing increase with each word I spoke, my unbeaten heart rising in my chest, my rage building inside of me.

I hated everyone in this place. I hated Felix, I hated Heidi and I sure as hell hated myself this mess. But most of all I hated Aro; he took my life, he took my freedom, my say, my humanity, my love. Everything he touched he managed to destroy, and he had his hand on me and Nez, the whole way through. That was the problem. Well, I was done letting someone determine my every move. I was leaving, and if anyone wanted to try and stop me, I'd kill them. Felix was right, I wasn't thinking straight, my judgment was most definitely impaired, but I didn't care. I feared nothing at the moment, and I most certainly didn't fear them. I knew their strategies and the way they worked like the back of my hand. I'd see what they had coming, it didn't take a fortune teller to figure it out.

It must of dawned on Felix where my mind was headed, because he suddenly got a panic look in his eyes. I shoved him away from me, and continued around the room, my mind in one place and one place only and it wasn't here.

"He will kill you." Felix said, gripping on to his hair, and finding himself facing the wall across from me. He leaned his hand on in and lowered his head, as his voice became very serious.

"I don't care."

"He will try to get you back."

"Let him, I'm done with this. Nez didn't want me to be a prisoner-"

"Nez…didn't want to be lied to either, but look what happened! We can't always get what we want, you know this. And if you leave, you're not only putting your own life in danger but hers as well. They will use her!" Felix snapped, his voice filling with rage.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and within a millisecond I was in his face, my hands around his neck, pushing him against my wall. My teeth were merely inches from his face as a hiss broke out from my lips, my animalistic nature taking control.

I knew Felix meant nothing personal from what he was saying, and in the literal sense he had a point, but I knew better then to think he'd let Nez go in harm's way because of my actions. He cared about her. He loved her like a family member, and that meant everything to him. Because he had no one. He had no family but the Volturi and even then, he didn't like most of us. So to say that Renesmee would be hurt because of my decision to leave, was completely ridiculous. I would never let that happen, and I'd never leave if I thought it would effect her that much. Felix knew this and was trying to make me stay; to suffer, because he thought I deserved it.

Well I did deserve it, but I wasn't a idiot anymore.

I. Was. Done.

"You'll make sure they stay away from her." I said sounding confident, though a part of me really wasn't. "You will make sure that Aro won't bother her, and If I hear one word about them coming near her-"

"You're willing to risk her? For what? To go out in the real world? Alec, I'm your friend, okay? But even I'm not stupid enough to try it. The moment you step out of that door is the moment Aro will come after you and little Nez. You can't leave and if you go to her, and plead for her forgiveness-"

"Then I wont. I wont go to her." I couldn't tell if I was lying or telling the truth at this point. All I knew was, there was a exit sign with my name on it. Would I go to Nez? Every instinct was telling me yes, but I couldn't even tell Felix that. I knew he was loyal to Renesmee, but loyal to me?

Not likely. He wanted me to stay just as much as anyone else. If I pushed it enough though, he'll let me go. As he said: We were friends; brothers in some sense. He couldn't fight me on this, which was why he was panicking so much now, because he knew I was winning this battle.

"Where will you go then, huh? Palermo? You have no where else to go. I'm not trying to be cruel here, buddy, I'm trying to make you think straight."

"The only thing I have left is my freedom, Felix. I let them do this to me. I let them hurt her, now all I want is to be alone. Give me this, Felix, as my friend and protect her. I'm not asking you to go against Aro, okay? If you want to report my leaving to him go on, but keep her out of it." I said, loosing my grip around his neck, stepping back. Felix just stared and shook his head, motioning to the door, his face blank and his eyes closed.

Standing there looking at him for a moment, I tried to figure out what he was thinking. I was also trying to figure out my next move. I was completely baffled by what laid out in front of me. On one hand, I could roam free, knowing that Nez was taken care of; safe. But then there was that small door, the one that led to my heart, which told me to go to her on my hands and knees, begging for forgiveness. Listening to that would only get me more broken then . She would tell me to go. She would tell me to never speak to her again, and was I strong enough for that? Did I have that much strength to go through that for a second time?

I had my doubts.

Finally, after a moment of saying nothing, I slowly reached for a bag, and threw it over my shoulder. I didn't even bother looking at Felix. I knew he disapproved of my rashness but I also knew deep down he understood. There was no other explanation for him letting me do this, and for that I appreciate it.

Once I made it to the door, I heard Felix's voice suddenly speak, his voice calm and deadly serious.

"You promise to stay away from her?"

I closed my eyes breathed through my nose. My body froze in it's place, my voice not sounding like my own at all.

"Yes."

"I can't promise they wont check in Forks for you. Aro knows you love her and he'll use her as bait to bring you back. But I'll try my best to keep a eye out; warn her maybe, that's the best I can do for now. But I need you to not put her in anymore danger. When we go to Forks, I'll make sure she's safe. No one will touch her." Felix said, as I turned around a looked him in the eyes. My heart ached at the possibility of them going to Forks at all. I wanted them to just leave us alone, to leave her alone, though I knew that was impossible. After all, Felix was right. Renesmee would be a sure way to bring me back and commit my loyalties in exchange for her well being.

We were completely screwed.

"Terrò la mia promessa, se lei tiene il Fratello di vostro, si prende cura." I said, telling him to keep his promise, and to take care. Felix nodded coolly and with that in my mind I left.

I knew what I was doing was stupid.

But I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, killed a lot of people, all without regret, and I wasn't going to start now. I trusted Felix on his word. I knew he cared enough about her to understand everything.

I also knew that I was doomed from the beginning of this plan. I knew they would find a way to bring me back. They were just that talented and that I was setting myself up to fail especially with Demitri on their side. But I had to try. Maybe if I talked to the sneaky bitch Heidi to per sway him to understand, he'd give me a miracle-no. I needed time, that's it. Maybe I could get him to postpone the search for me. I knew how his power worked. I knew my chances of getting free forever was unlikely.

Okay, so it was impossible. But with Demetri on my side, I could be out longer. That's all I wanted.

Time.

Thinking of ways to talk to Demetri, I turned the corner to the lobby and ran right into the last person I expected to see. My eyes lowered as fear escalated throughout my body.

"Marcus." I muttered, trying to keep my cool, knowing good and well that he knew what I was planning, and that my life could very well be on the line here. I glanced over at him, trying to detect what he was thinking, but like most days, he was unreadable. His face was blank and like usual his mouth was in a thin line, contemplating what I was going to do probably.

I wasn't ashamed for calling one of my masters by there first names now. They should all know that the second Nez found out the truth that they all meant nothing to me. To be frank, I was kind of happy that out all the former-masters to run into it was Marcus. He was the most understanding out of all of them. If you call what he is understanding that is.

Judging by his demeanor, he was sizing me up, questioning on what action to take. I'm not going to lie, I was wondering too. It's not everyday one of the guards had to deal with one of the main three all alone. It raised a lot of questions as to why.

"You're full of fear, Alec." He said, no hint of question in his low and rough voice, as per usual. I nodded, because there's no point in lying to him. He would be able to tell if he hadn't already.

I was a dead man regardless.

"Good. I sense a disturbance in you, boy. Tell me my ability has failed me." He said, waving his hands up as he spoke, his red eyes building pressure on my face.

I lowered my head, and focused in on my feet. I was trying not to deny, nor confirm his accusations. He could take my silence any way he pleased.

I knew a part of me should be mad at all of them, they are the head of the Volturi, but for some reason my hatred was more pointed at Aro then the others. Though I will probably never trust any of them as long as I'm alive. They betrayed me and my loyalties. Me wanting to go shouldn't be news to any of them. They lost me for good, mentally and physically. I was as good as dead, though I knew if Marcus was going to stop me, I'd be dead by now.

At least that's what I told myself.

Even if I died, I'd rather be dead then be alone without Renesmee Carlie Cullen. Somehow my inner voice told me Marcus understood that also, it was that same voice that saw a little bit of hope in my escape. Maybe if I talked to him, someone who has more power than Felix or myself and get him to understand that I would be free to make my own choices I might be able to pull this off.

My heart told me to go in that direction, where as my head was kicking my ass for even considering trusting a Volturi master.

In the end though, my heart would always win. So I went for it blinding.

"I love her, more then anything in this world. You, of all people, would understand why my loyalties have changed now…Why I want to be free." I said, biting my lip. If my heart could beat at all it would be pounding in my chest. I'd probably be sweating as well.

Sick with fear.

"Are you so bold to try to sway me, young one? Have I not been generous enough to allow your beloved to leave without harm in her path?"

My eyes widened, as confusion washed all over me.

Generous? Really?

Did he honestly think that watching Renesmee find out the truth that way was being generous? Were they all this mad? Generous would be to have me tell her personally, alone without everyone having to watch her break! Generosity would be to understand that I had no control over the situation, take some reasonability for the plan. Of course, thinking about the event, now I'm the one who messed up, so of course the Masters didn't think of themselves as being guilty at all.

Figures.

Then again I should probably thank the heavens just a little considering she was a live. Marcus was right, she left rather easy, and with her family at that. If it was anyone else, they would be dead already.

I couldn't focus on any of the what ifs though. I had to remain level headed if I was going to get what I wanted. I had a opening, I was going to take it. Like I said, I knew the Volturi like the back of my hand. If Marcus wanted me dead he would of killed me moments ago. So there had to be another reason as to why I was still standing here, and why he was talking to me one on one. Without no one in sight but us. So I continued my argument and prayed to God to shed some mercy on my worthless ass.

"You can not blame me for trying. Generous or not, I wish no longer to be here."

"That's precisely why I'm here, il mio giovane amico." I gave him a puzzled face, feeling a crease in my forehead forming even more.

I hated the feeling.

"Then why-"

"The subject as you can imagine is very delicate. I too, many moons ago was in love and wanted freedom. Though if you remember correctly, it didn't end well for us."

I closed my eyes and nodded, not knowing what to say. Everyone within the coven knew the story as if it were our own.

Didyme.

The very thought of her almost made me want to smile, had my heart not been broken. She was my ticket out of here. Though it might be wrong to use a murdered woman, I felt as though she would be happy to help me if she were among the living undead. She was always the type after all. Thinking about her and Marcus made me think about Renesmee, though, intensifying the pain. If Marcus couldn't find any happiness without Didyme, then how could I? The thought of not being with Renesmee and ending up like Marcus was hurting me. The agonizing pain was killing me, and pricing right through the heart. I looked at Marcus more closely now, more than I ever had before, it was like looking in a freaking mirror.

He understood. I felt that, and I wanted to ask him how did he do it. How did he deal with not seeing the one he loved everyday, not being able to hold her in his arms and stay here where her name was barely even mentioned anymore, because I was pretty sure he would expression exactly how I felt and tell me it couldn't be dealt. There was no possible way. I've only been away from Nez for a matter of moments but I had a black hole in my chest. I felt empty, like a ghost of my own body. But I knew he had years of this suffering, decades without her presence and her touch.

I wanted so desperately to ask for guidance, but I knew not to speak of her name. I knew if I did, it would only be like signing my own death certificate. Not that I didn't want to die anyways. Still, why bring up something as so painful as this to his face? My wound was fresh, but I knew Marcus and I felt the same damn thing, which was why he was here.

He got me, and I got him. In more ways then one.

"I remember…" I replied, choosing my words wisely.

"Then you understand why I feel as though it's my duty to help the case?"

I bit back a smile that wanted to burst, hating it for ever wanting to show itself without Nez present.

"You're granting my freedom?"

"I'm granting you time. Two months. Losing someone that means the world to you.. That isn't easily dealt with, Alec. Do what you will with the time given, however I severely hope you do not do anything rash with the gift I'm giving you. I am not a heartless man, but if you're not here by midnight on the first of November, I will be forced to take your betrayal to Aro. I have his trust until that point. If you go to the Cullen girl-"

"I can't." I said in a rush, hoping that Marcus believed me, thinking that if they thought I had no interest in her, they might leave her alone.

Might.

Not that I didn't intend on keeping my promise to Felix. Nez would be safer without the risk of me popping up in Forks.

Marcus nodded, understanding without words that I meant business here. That I intended to see keep Nez out of this whole mess, and to allow her to move on.

Though it killed me to do it.

"That's very wise of you. I can't promise things will better for you emotionally, bambino coraggioso. However, I will tell you to keep your eyes open. Our kind in the real world do not think highly of you, as I'm sure you know. The Volturi has many enemies and you are officially your own man now for a time. You look out for yourself. With that said, I hope to see you when the time comes. We're done here." Marcus said, gliding passed me, leaving my in my thoughts.

It was the fifteenth of September. Renesmee's birthday had been only five days ago. Only five freaking days ago had we been dancing together, smiling in each others arms as we joked back that stupid child star, Shirley Temple. The next day we went to the hideous club, where she got drunk and eventually passed out cold. I took her to the yacht, we stayed on it for three days, three of the best days of my existence. Up until meeting her, I never realized how unhappy I was. I lived my life as I was told to, taught to, programmed to, and I didn't seem to have a problem with it because I didn't know anything else. I had heard of love, rumors of it being the best thing anyone could experience, even in their afterlife. I found it to be a myth, our kind didn't love whole heartedly, it was impossible. We caused too much destruction and pain to feel something so pure. I mocked those who spoke of it, thought of them as hypocrites who were in denial.

Well, I ate crow. Big time.

Love existed, damn, it definitely existed. It seized you by the heart and turned your insides raw with the need to quench that desire to just be with that one person that made you feel like you were actually alive. Being away from Nez, I could feel the familiar hollowness in my body, I could feel the place where she should be. I felt dead; cold. I felt as though I should have been in the ground, along with my parents; God rest their souls.

I was nothing without her; pathetic. Almost four hundred years of living the same way, torturing and feeding on the same people, chatting with the same immortals, Renesmee comes in and within two months makes me a completely different person.

How does that happen?

I'll probably never quite understand. All I knew now was that I had to get away from these people. I had to get away from everyone I knew, and if I could I would get away from myself, too.

I didn't waste anymore time after that, and quickly got out of that hellhole as fast as I possibly could. I didn't even waste any time saying goodbye to my sister, because her along with all the others; they didn't deserve a goodbye from me. The only person I would consider saying goodbye to was Felix, and I already did that.

I had never traveled by myself, to look out for my well being and be aware of enemies. I didn't even know where I was going, I hadn't thought that far ahead. All I did was step out into the street, which was lit softly by dimmed streetlights, and started walking. Where I was talking, I had no clue. I guess I'd just follow where my feet took me, and anywhere had to be better than Volterra, Italy. In fact, I was going to get out of Italy all together.

A couple weeks and footsteps later, I found myself in the wettest and most dreary place I could think of, one that matched my insides in the most physical way.

London, England.

I was aware of all the places I could go in England besides London, but I was familiar with London unlike other small cites in England. These cities varied from Reading to Manchester to York. All of them, I had been to at least once or twice, but being alone, they all felt different. I had never been truly alone, not even in my human life. The world seemed bigger when it was just me who was walking it, bigger and lonelier. The only thing I could hear was my footsteps against the ground and the raindrops that fell from the grey sky which hovered over me.

I fed when needed, not giving anybody a second glance as I drained them dry. I didn't discriminate either. Death came to whoever I saw first. This being said however, I couldn't bring myself to kill children, as I remembered the way Renesmee smiled adoringly as the little girl in Palermo. It was little things like that made the agonizing ache in my chest go skyrocketing. Besides feeding, I spent the rest of my time exploring. I came across a few nomads, and most of them I really didn't give a second glance. We were aware of each other but didn't take in conversation, as any normal humans would do when facing strangers. I kept to myself, always on the lookout for people who despised me.

The good thing about London was that it rained almost everyday, making walking in the daylight easier. Of course, I had to keep my distance from the humans, as they would take notice in my abnormal eyes. At night, however, it was all free game and people didn't seem to look closely enough to observe my particular traits. The world was my playground and though I tried to distract myself from my thoughts of Nez, there wasn't a second that would go by when I didn't think about her and what she was doing.

On the twenty-ninth of September, exactly two weeks after I had departed from Italy, like most nights I decided to spend it hunting. It was a good enough dance club that I had chosen for the night. It was dark, crowed and filled with blood. I could distinctly hear their heartbeats, loud and tempting in my head as they danced.

I scoped them out as I sat at the bar, taking in my options of who looked the best. Like I said before, most of the time I didn't bother scoping anyone out, but tonight I had time to kill, no pun intended.

I narrowed my eyes at a particular candidate for my prey. Studying her eyes, if I didn't know any better I would have thought she was related to the Cullen's. They were a gold brown color, and her skin was pale white which glowed in the florescent lights. Her hair was so dark a brown it could have been mistaken for a midnight black. It was silky straight and hung midway down her back. She was a thin girl who had curvature around the hips but a narrow waist. Since she was only a few feet away from me, I could take in her scent which was surprisingly enticing, and my mouth instantly swelled with venom.

Definitely dinnertime.

I was thinking of many ways on how I could lure her. After all, she was a woman who looked to be in her mid twenties. How as I to go about seducing someone who would think I was a child? Also, how would I explain myself being in a dance club way after eleven 'o' clock? All that seemed like details in my head as I began to let my instinct take over. All I knew was that I had a burn in my throat that needed to be taken care of immediately.

I was just about to approach the woman when I felt a presence slide in the stool next to me. I didn't bother looking at the face of the person, and kept my eyes only on my victim.

"Well, you're certainly not human." Said the person who sat next to me. It was a young woman, I could tell by her voice. It was soft spoken and there was something vaguely familiar about it that sent eerie chills down my spine. But I paid no attention nor looked at the disturbance of my meal.

"Taking by your estimation and the fact that you are without a heartbeat, I'm presuming you're also not without default." I spoke with bitterness in my tone to the nameless and faceless vampire sitting next to me.

She laughed at my statement, and once again there was a feeling of uneasiness that surrounded me listening to it. I could feel my body tensing, trying to place where I had heard that laughter before. I searched though all the faces in my mind, hoping I would come up with something, but I came up blank.

I turned my head slowly, losing focus on the woman dancing whom I had my heart set on killing, and came into eye to eye contact with the vampire next to me.

Her eyes widened instantly upon meeting my gaze, mocking my own expression. If my heart could beat, it would stop dead.

"_When we are married, I want no less than six children…all boys, with beautiful blue eyes just like their father!" Adeline exclaimed, her laughter filling up the room as she snuggled next to me on the bed, her long auburn hair laying in tendrils across my chest as I wrapped my arm around her. _

_I laughed in response, my heart leaping in my chest._

"_Six, Addie? Why stop there. How about twelve or thirteen?" I half joked, though really the idea of having children terrified me._

_She laughed again, her smile radiant._

"_Because we're still young. We have our whole lives ahead of us, Alexander, and the best part is we get to spend it with each other."_

"_Yes, but you know how I wish you would call me Alec."_

"_And why would I want to call you something so common as that? Alexander is you're name and that's exactly what you should be called…besides, it sounds like it would be given to a duke or some sort. Power…"_

_I tensed at the words she used, trying to picture myself with power. I couldn't envision it; I wasn't the sort to create power but nonetheless I had it unknowingly. In that moment, I wanted to tell her everything. Every detail of my gift, or should I say curse. She was to be my bride, and I trusted her with my life. She was my life._

_A part of me knew I shouldn't tell her, but I was so tired to keeping it to myself, keeping secrets. It was against my nature to be so dishonest. The only other soul on this earth that knew of what I could do was Janie, who had strange abilities of her own. I could never lie to the woman I loved, and if I ever did in my lifetime, I would be punished rightfully so. _

_I looked at my bride-to-be, and her crystal eyes glowed with joy. We had officially given ourselves to one another. If anyone found out of our acts, I'm sure punishment would follow soon after, but I would not regret them. Though it was not everything I expected, it was what made us connected. And now, I wanted to give myself entirely and not just in a physical sense._

"_Do you love me?" I questioned._

"_What kind of question is that, Alexander?"_

"_One that implies if you don't I'll just have to find somebody else who will." I teased, as she slapped my arm._

"_Don't say such things!"_

"_Oh, come now. You never know, there might be someone just waiting to meet me, dying to be kissed by these edible lips…" I purred against her lips as I planted a soft kiss on them._

"_She would be no good for you." Adeline stated._

"_Says the girl who refuses to tell me she loves me, even after we submitted to such naughty things?" I whispered as I let my hand trail under her chemise, finding its way to her breast. Adeline's eyes widened as she gasped, to which I smirked as I trailed kisses down her neck. I found it ironic she was being shy now after everything we just did._

"_You need to stop." She murmured._

"_Why?"_

"_Because one of these days that mouth of yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble and you wont be able to talk your way out of it. You must control yourself." I chuckled at that, but then remembered what I was trying to do before I got distracted._

"_Very well. I have to tell you something anyway, it's quite serious. But you must swear on your life you wont speak of this to anyone…" _

_She sat up instantly, her eyes looking at me worried and concerned._

"_What is it, what's wrong? Did your father hurt you again? You can tell me-"_

"_My father didn't hurt me…today."_

"_There isn't any shame in it, not on your end at least. I swear, sometimes I want to spit at that man! If he-"_

"_Addie, it's not as bad as it seems. He just doesn't understand, which is why I'm trying to explain something to do. Stop distracting me."_

_She narrowed her eyes at me._

"_Always pushing people away when they get too close to your heart, Alexander, even me. You're never going to let someone inside, are you?"_

_I sighed loudly, getting up from the bed as anger escalated throughout my body. I opened up myself up to her and yet she thought I was still holding back? What could I possibly be holding back besides my secret? Absolutely nothing._

"_Will you please listen to me, Adeline? I'm trying to tell there's something wrong."_

"_With what?"_

"_With me! I have to tell you of the things I can do, the powers I possess. You have to swear to me you wont ever tell anyone. Do you promise?"_

"_I promise."_

I gazed at her face and studied her expression, wondering what she was thinking. She looked no different, still had the same features. She wore a lacy pink skirt with a white tank top that was skin tight to match. A long necklace hung on her neck, and I managed to make out it was the cross pendent she had been wearing since she was human. Though now, it looked more like an antique, which was exactly what it was.

I blinked, hoping if I did she would disappear, that she was apart of some hallucination caused by thirst. That's what this was; I was seeing things, I was being punished. She has come to haunt me and this is my punishment for what I did to Renesmee. I was seeing the bloody ghost of Christmas past only it's September. This was my personal hell. I thought nothing could be worse than being without Renesmee but I was wrong. THIS was so much worse. I was without Nez and in the presence of my backstabber?

I shook my head as I closed my eyes, counting to ten. When I opened my eyes, I saw she was gone, and for a moment I thought she really had vanished but in my peripheral vision I could see her exiting out of the building, almost in vamp speed. Her hair flying behind her.

"Adeline…"

Screw feeding. I wanted _her_.

Within seconds I was outside in the alley, following her scent. It didn't take long before I caught up with her and slammed her against a brick building. I grasped her neck tightly in my hand, snarling in her face. Her eyes continued to stay wide and alert, and she seemed to be questioning her own sanity upon seeing me. Perhaps I was going insane, maybe she wasn't real, but all I knew was either way I wanted to kill her. I wanted to feel the life drain from her body, I wanted to see the light in her eyes fade.

I leaned in closer, narrowing my eyes.

"How is this possible?" I hissed, as she struggled to get out of my grasp. I held on tighter and watched in fascination as her skin cracked under my fingertips. My voice harsh and deadly, as if I was saying one of my many victims.

"Alexander?" She said, and I growled, slamming her head back harder, she winced and yelped in pain.

Freaking music to my ears.

"Why are you not burning in hell?" I snapped, as she gripped onto my hand that held her neck, trying to pry my fingers off of her.

"You're alive? Holy shit, you're alive! And…clearly we have some un-dealt with issues. Please, let go of my neck." She asked calmly, as if she was asking me to put something down.

All I was seeing was red. My was body shaking with the need for revenge. I couldn't understand this. I couldn't grasp how this was possible. Everyone in the village was dead; Aro made sure of it, he said so himself they all dead at his hands. There was no possible way that she had gotten away, much less turned had been turned into a vampire. I'd never done it personally, but I know there was a difference between changing a person and killing them. Some might not make it through the transformation but none made it through death, so why was that she was standing before me?

This kind of thing just never happens!

Her eyes fixated on mine; Adeline bit her lip, kicking herself off the wall that I had her pinned too, making my grip on her lessen.

I let her go, still stunned that she was even here. She continued to star at me with wide eyes; a awkward silence surrounding us, both of us scared to say another word.

"You died…" she said finally, her voice quiet and innocent sounding, even though that was the complete opposite of what she was. I snarled in aggravation, trying to remember that faithful day but coming up short.

Damn those faded human memories and their worthlessness. The only thing I could remember was the fire and Aro's voice and Jane's screams.

How is it that I can't remember Adeline?

"Last I checked it was all thanks to you," I said, my voice hinting at my displeasure.

Adeline closed her eyes and covered her oval shaped mouth, her hands shaking.

"Alex-"

"Who changed you! How did you escape?"

Moments passed, and all she did was stare at me, adding on to my frustrations.

"_ANSWER ME!"_

"I ran away! I managed to get away when I saw them taking you and Jane. I didn't know what else to do-"

I laughed bitterly, starting to pace back and fourth in front of her, shaking my head in the process. She didn't know what else do to? She could have stayed, she could have fought for me. She could have recognized what she did! Did she even realize the damage she caused?

"Proceed…" I commanded, glancing back at her. She didn't say anything, she just stared at the ground. "I said GO ON!" I screamed, not caring who heard.

I was losing it. Every ounce of composure I had managed to hold onto the past couple of weeks was quickly melting away, and it felt damn good. It felt good to let out my anger, my rage, my sorrow, and who better to take it out on than the person who started all of it? Adeline was my curse coming back to haunt me, and I was going to send her back to the grave where the belonged.

I cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to answer. She sighed with a nod, and continued.

"I ran as fast as I could, and somehow got out alive from all of it.. For the next few days, I stumbled through the forest, and was very quickly starting to feel the effects of starvation and thirst…" She paused for a moment, as if to take thought in what she was going to say. "But, I kept going. I didn't let myself give up. I didn't know where I was going, but I figured anywhere had to be better than where I was. Then, one day out of nowhere, someone came up from behind me and the next thing I knew I was in the worst pain imaginable. I never knew who changed me, or why they changed me…I just know I'm here." Adeline finished, still looking at the ground.

I scoffed, clapping my hands obnoxiously.

"Wow, that's very touching. Did you rehearse that, or was it just something that came up with the moment?" I spat. If she thought that I'd be giving her a pity party, she was mistaken. She would get no sympathy from me. Whatever pain she experienced, my pain was doubled, considering how when I was turned my skin was black from my feet all the way up to my waist. Yeah, on the pain scale, I'd say I beat her.

She narrowed her golden eyes, and for the first time it registered that she was one of the rare vampires who fed on animals and spared the life of humans. It took a lot to retrain yourself like that, and I had come to terms with the fact that it was something I, myself, would never be able to do. For one splint second, I sort of admired her for it, but that was quickly washed away and replaced of memories of my suffering that had her name stamped all over it.

She groaned under her breath in frustration.

"I know you hate me-"

"I don't hate you. Hate is a strong emotion, and I don't really care enough to develop the sentiment. You're nothing to me; it's as simple as that." I corrected.

"Okay…still. My _point _is: We aren't exactly on the best terms right now, but I can't help but get the feeling we ran into each other for a reason." she said.

I raised my eyebrows suggestively. "So I could kill you?"

Adeline smirked, and started pacing in front of me.

"To kill someone, that would imply that there was some sort of emotion behind it, which you don't possess. Correct?"

I shook my head. "Incorrect. Most serial killers out there don't end lives because of emotion, they do it because of power; power they want to have. They want to claim a life and have complete control over it."

"And you, being a twisted killer, want to take my life for the sake of holding it in your hands?"

"An eye for an eye," I explained. "You took my life, and now I'd like to take yours." I hissed in a low voice, stepping closer to her.

She tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow, obviously not taking my threat seriously as she should have.

"Technically I'm not alive."

"Maybe not, but you're still talking, which is enough reason for me."

She pouted, as if I had hurt her feelings or something, but I was going to fall for it. She just was looking for a way out of death. It wasn't going to work.

"What, you don't like my voice?" she asked in a childish tone. She really hadn't changed much, had she? Still trying to manipulate people.

"I've always found it rather maddening, actually." I snarled, not caring to play around. Why was she still standing? Why had I allowed her to live this long? She was stalling me, the selfish little twit. She knew what she was doing, and it was working.

Maybe I hated her just a little bit.

Before I could really consider what I was doing, I had her pinned to the ground with my hand returning to her throat again. She sighed annoyingly, and in a swift move, flipped me over to wear she was practically straddling me with her nails digging into my neck."I tried to be nice, but now you're pushing it, Alexander." she hissed.

"Stop. Calling. Me-" I kicked her off of me, sending to flying backwards and she collided with a brick wall, "_Alexander!_" I roared, and in an instant I was in front of her again, punching her ugly face into the wall, embedding it.

It had never felt so good to hurt someone before. Causing her discomforting was a release, and I couldn't have been happier to let her have it, but unfortunately, it didn't last too long because she kneed my _hard _in the groin. Yes, it hurt even for us, when another vampire did it anyways. I grunted, trying to keep in the wail that wanted to escape as excruciating pain radiated throughout my lower region. I grabbed onto the wall for support, clenching my fists as I waited for the pain to subside.

"You bitch," I muttered under my breath, and then I felt a slight sting on my cheek, where she had backhanded me.

"I don't like that word." Adeline growled, pushing me away from her.

"Yeah, well, I don't like Alexander. We're even." I huffed, and she sighed again in frustration.

"Why do you have to be such an asshole about this!" she yelled, rasing her hands dramatically. I felt my mouth drop, and I shook my head.

"Forgive me if I don't want to greet you with a hug, Addie. Call me a grudge holder, but I just haven quite gotten over when you betrayed me!" I yelled, grabbing onto my hair for dear life.

Why wasn't she dead yet?

"I'm sorry, okay?" she shrieked, raising her hands again. "I'm so sorry for what I did, for opening my stupid mouth, but you torturing me for it is not going to make any of it better! I can't change the past! If I could, don't you think I would have! It's not as if I stood in the background and witnessed in excitement as I watched those flames. Not a day goes by where I don't think about you and hate myself for betraying your secret, but there is NOTHING either of us can do about it. What's done is done, Alex- whatever the hell you want to be called. I know there is nothing that I can do or say to make up for the past, but can you at least let me try!" Adeline cried out, real feeling popping up on her face.

I stared at her, contemplating how to reply to that. One part of me agreed with her: There was nothing we could do to change the past. But, I wasn't going to waste my future with allowing her to try and make amends. There was no way. I wanted nothing to do with her. She felt bad? Good, she needed to. She hated herself? Why should I care? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that if I killed her, I was really implying that I was no better than her. I'd be the better man, and just walk away. She wasn't even worth my time and pain anymore. We were done, we'd been done for a long time. This little reunion didn't change anything. As far as I was concerned; she was dead. There was no reason for me to physically care out the deed. She was worth it.

"No, I can't." I said, shaking my head and turning around. I started to walk in the opposite direction, not caring to look back at her.

It wasn't until two days later I realized she was following me, or more like stalking me. I didn't know what her deal was. You'd think she put me through enough misery to last me an eternity but I guess that just wasn't enough.

I thought if I didn't pay any attention to her she would leave me alone in my misery. But that didn't happen. She kept trying and trying to explain things but really all I wanted was to pretend that she was still dead. It made my life all the more easier. She was persistent though, I'll give her that. Showing up everywhere I turned. I was still a little shaken up about whole ordeal, wondering if I was going mad and the spirit of my ex was haunting me. But that didn't seem like the case. No matter how much she harassed me and annoy me to no end, I still couldn't stop thinking about Nez and worrying about how she was, and how her family handled her when she got home.

I knew it wasn't my place to be concerned about her anymore but the more I was apart from her, the more I realized that it was a habit that was never going to break. She was a part of me, and being away from her was the hardest thing I will have to do. Especially with the limited freedom that I had.

Every time I saw Adeline around the corner, the more I wish Nez would here to comfort me through it. But I kept my promise to Felix.

Even if every cell in my body told me not to.

After about a week of trying to get Adeline to leave me alone, I began to grow more and more frustrated and restless with her determination.

I thought I was doing her a favor; letting her live and such but apparently the only way to get rid of her was to actually listen her what she had to say. So I had no choice. If I wanted some sort of peace I had to do what the stupid saying said. I had to grab the bull by the horns.

_Shoot me._

I decided to take her by surprise ;turn the tables a bit. I was walking down a dark alley, and just like clockwork I heard her footsteps behind me as I expected.

"You know, you've been following me for a week now. It's getting a little old." I said out loud, turning around to face her. She was still wearing the same ugly outfit as before.

"You're really depressing, you know. You're boring too." she commented as she glided towards me, stopping right in front of me and running her hands up my chest. I cringed at the contact and gripped her wrist tightly.

"What will it take for you to leave me alone?"

She smirked, her lips moving dangerously close to my ear. "Let me give you a proper apology."

"Try again." I muttered, feeling my lip curl in disgust.

"Why? You liked it the first time round." she defended. "Besides, I've done a lot of wrong things in my lifetime, Alexander. Let me do this one thing right."

Before I had a chance to reply, she shoved me against a wall. Her body pressed up against mine and her lips began to move along my neck. I didn't know what she thought she was doing, but if she assumed this was the way to make up for what she did to me, she was way off course.

She felt all wrong against me. Her skin was hard and without warmth, and lacked everything I wanted. There were no adorable freckles, no heat radiating from her body, her eyes weren't brown and she didn't smell like lavender. Nothing about her was like my Nez, absolutely nothing, therefore there was nothing that drew me in.

A part of me thought that I died when Nez left and this was hell, and that my ex wasn't seriously trying to make out with my neck. After all, she was dead, why couldn't I be too?

But Adeline felt real, wrong, but real.

As her mouth moved up to my cheek and grazed against my ear, she began to whisper in a low and seductive voice.

"I can make up for what you're missing… Let me make amends. It'd be better than anything you've ever had."

That set me off. I quickly pushed for off and turned her around so that I was pinning her against the wall with my hands on her arms. Was she really that delusional? Did she really think that would make everything better and that she was seriously better than Nez? No one and nothing was better than Renesmee. Even though it confused me to no end as to why Addie was alive, there was no romantic feelings left for her. Those were burnt up along with my life. And even though she was trying to be close to me, I could never allow myself to become attached to her, even as a friend.

"Let me make this very clear: There is only one girl for me, and be rest assured that you sure as hell are not her." I spat, shaking my head in disgust as I began to stomp away.

"And what makes this girl so special?" she called out.

I stopped, sighed loudly and turned back around.

"Just leave me alone…"

"Hold up, _Alec. _If I can't help you sexually, though you look like you really need it, than I can help you with the girl. Because obviously things aren't going so good between you two. I mean, she's not even here."

"You can't see her? Wow, and here I thought I was the only one that couldn't!"

"Shush, smart ass. I'm trying to help you!""I don't need you're help. Besides, even if I did there is nothing you could do to help me. I'm apart of the Volturi." I said, folding my arms across my chest.

Her eyes rounded like a light bulb had gone off in her head. She really was dense, wasn't she? I mean I thought she was a little slow as a human but usually people matured and learned things over the years. I was one of the most feared and well known vampire in the world and she had no idea? What, had she been living in a cave all these years? Had my reputation not done me justice as I always thought it had? They didn't call us the witch twins for nothing! In fact, the reason they called us that was because of how we were killed, which is all thanks to dear old Addie.

"Volturi? _The _Volturi?"

"Yes. Jane and I-"

"Janie! Are you telling me she's walking this earth too? She's going to kill me!"

"And I'll watch joyously. You know, they say that Jane's ability feels like flames licking your skin. Poetic, don't you think?"

"Look if you want my help you have to drop that crap, okay?"

"I don't want your help; nor do I need it. Renesmee is safe." I confirmed.

"Whose Renesmee?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

I looked down at my feet, not wanting to answer her. She didn't even have the right to say her name, much less know about her. My relationship with Nez was none of her business, and the fact that she thought I would just pour my heart out to her was almost embarrassing on her end. Who the hell did she think she was? To think she could actually help me? No one could help me. It wasn't anyone else's problem but mine.

"No one." I said in a low voice, warning her to back off while she still have the chance to grow a brain, because if she didn't, she was going to find out real soon just who Alec Volturi was. Alexander was most definitely no more. Alexander was still off somewhere playing with his sister in some field with flowers and shit, not here. Alec was one of the highest guards in the Volturi; powerful. I was to be feared and respected by her and nothing else.

I once again for the second time, started to walk away from her. I thought I was going to solve this little problem tonight, but instead all I wanted now was a shower and a ever present need for sleep which I couldn't have. Having to deal with someone from my past was exhausting. One thing is for sure: Addie hadn't changed much. She was still full of lies; telling me she wanted to explain herself when really she just wanted to assault me. Yeah, I was never going to put myself in that situation again.

"Seriously, I can help you! Just give me three months and you can get your girl, since obviously you don't want me.."

"And how is it you think you can help, hmm? You know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about the situation we're in! You don't even know why we're not together! They will kill her, do you not understand that concept?" I yelled, wondering how the hell she wasn't giving up by now.

"I am an expert at running away-"

"Clearly-"

-"and I can assist you in getting away from them. Permanently. You have to take risks in order to get what you want."

"Yeah? Well what if she doesn't want me? I would risk it all for nothing." With each word I spoke my voice got louder and louder. The meaning of my words stung, but they were true, which made it all the worse.

Nez didn't want me. She hated me.

"You're never going to know for sure unless you try. Fight for what you want! She'll respect you for it."

I laughed, wishing that were actually true.

"Do you even know who she is? Who her family is? She's not just some vampire who wants me to leave the Volturi, Addie. There is a long, complicated story to which I don't feel like-"

"If you love her enough, and loved her more than you loved me, then it'll work out." Adeline interrupted, putting her hands on her hips. "You over think things; you always have."

"Why do you even care about this? It's not your place or problem."

She laughed, and just as soon as she started laughing it stopped and was replaced with a look of sadness and regret. Her arms raised to hug herself, and for the first time since I had saw here she looked vulnerable.

"Because for the last four hundred years I've been thinking about all the things I could do to make you forgive me if I had the chance," she said, tilting her head to one said and smiling softly. "And I've been thinking we're crossing paths for a reason. If it's not to be together, then it's this."

"I don't believe in fate anymore, Adeline." I said softly, but honestly.

She walked towards me, and slowly placed one of her hands on my cheek, her thumb stroking it lightly. My eyebrows pulled together in confusion at the gesture.

"Please just let me try to help you, and I promise I'll leave you alone forever. You're going to need someone to help you fight them, and I know I'm not your ideal partner in crime but I really think I can help. I have gifts involving this sort of thing, I'm like a good luck charm to have on your side."

I coughed out a short laugh, finding it humorous of her to think of herself as good luck.

I then thought about Nez, and the possibly of this ever working out were slim to none. But was there even a chance? I always knew I would do anything for Renesmee; anything and everything. And now when she needed me most I was backing out because of a promise I made to Felix and Marcus? Then I thought about the promise Nez made to me, and the promise Addie made to me four hundred years ago. They didn't keep them.

Promises were made to be broken, but the very idea that Nez was walking around with the necklace that I gave her gave me a strange feeling in my chest.

Was it hope? Did I really love her enough to risk everything, even her life? She once feared my life because of my relationship, and now I was fearing hers. But even then, that didn't stop me from perusing her, and why should it have stopped me now? Oh, because it was her life on the line this time. That was the only problem. Her safety was more important than my need for her, but if Felix kept his word on his promise he wouldn't let anything happen to her.

My emotions were so conflicted and fighting over what they wanted and I knew what side was going to win. I knew for some time now but I didn't want to have to look back up at the person in front of me and accept their much needed services. Because if I was going to survive this, I was going to need all the help I could get.

_Oh, why Adeline of all people? Why?_

"What are the chances of this actually working?" I asked, sighing and looking back up to her.

She smiled widely."Trust me, it's going to be a stroll in the park. Give me three months-"

"Three months? I don't have three months. I want her now."

"You want to attack them when they least expect it. You'll need three months at the least. Don't you think it'll be worth it?"

"Yes, but if I don't show up by November 1st they're going to attack me and possibly her." I protested, my fears all coming to reality as I thought about Marcus and his warning to me. I was playing with fire, again, and of course Addie was here to walk me through it.

"Isn't there anyone there who has your back? Jane?"

I started laughing loud and hard so hard I stopped breathing and I hunched over. The idea alone was enough to send me into hysterics. Jane, on my side. What a joke.

"Adeline? You know my sister. Do you think she has my back?"

"I'm guessing not?"

"You guessed correct. She is Aro's pet, and not even me can stand in the way of that. She chose him over me." I explained.

"Damn, things have changed. Well, is there anyone else you can call to help you?" she questioned, raising her eyebrows.

_Felix._

"There might be one."

"There might or there is? We can't go off of 'might' here. We're sailing dangerous waters here, so I need you to be sure this person is loyal and trustworthy with your lives."

I looked back and remembered the way Felix took Nez under his wing and helped her when needed. I also remember how pissed he got at me when I screwed up with her and how he put me into a head lock until I admitted I loved her. And he did promise me that he wouldn't let anything happen to her, but he was going to be royally pissed when he found out I broke my promise to him.

But then there was the aspect of Marcus, and what would happen when I didn't return on time. Just what was Aro going to do? He would send Demitri to retrieve me and bring me back where I would be severely punished. And what about Renesmee? Would they use her to get me back? For their sake, I hoped they didn't decide to go that route. But, if I didn't take this risk I would always wonder. This was my only chance of getting out.

"Yes, I trust him."

"Good. We have to take our time. I know it's going to be hard, but that's just how it is. You have to trust me."

I scoffed. "Why should I trust you?"

She smirked.

"Because I'm your only ticket out of that joint and you know it. And if, God forbid anything were to happen to Ren-Whatever, I will gladly take your punishment."

"It will be death."

"So be it."

I pondered this, and wondered if she was telling me the truth. I had trusted her once with my life, could I trust her with Nez?

Then I looked at her topaz eyes. She wasn't a killer anymore, that had to mean something.

I then pictured Nez and a happy life with her.

I reached out my hand toward Adeline, offering my alliance. She smiled and took it, shaking it lightly. Then, she linked her arm through mine and started to walk. I sighed, wondering what the hell I just got myself into.

"Trust me, darling, this is going to work. You'll see…"

_Yeah, we'll see…in three hideously long months with my beloved ex._

_It's just like riding a horse; you never forget how._

"Just like old times…_darling._"

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**W/N: We bet you're all thinking WTF, right? Well...suprise! The bitch is alive and well. We know you guys are going to hate her reguardless of what we say, but try to have an open mind, okay? Don't give up hope people, everything that happens, happens for a reason. We have over 600 reviews and we love you all! On that note: PLEASE don't hound us for updates, they're overwhelming and we get stressed so...please be kind and patient, okay? HANG IN THER PEOPLE! We're on your side! lol **

**Love you guys! Check out Adeline's and Alec's outfit on polyvore! Her's is...interesting.**

**xo ~IITM**


	23. Chapter 23: Out With The Truth

**InspiredInTheMoment does not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn. Nor do we own the charachers. HOWEVER. we do own the alterations of characters/personalities and the storylines. Do not take it without permission! Thanks.

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**Chapter 23: Out With The Truth**

**Renesmee's POV **

_November 5th, 2013 _

_Dear Little Nez, _

_I'm sorry this letter is a little late, but things have been crazy around here and I haven't got a chance to sit down and actually have a freaking moment to myself. But enough about me. How're you? You holding up okay? I hope you are, for my sake if not his… Sorry, I know you don't like the little shit being mentioned, and I can't say as I don't blame you much. So, I'll cut the crap and get to the point. _

_You need to be careful, Piccolo Nez. I'm not saying this to freak you out or anything, but just keep an eye out, okay? Be aware of anything unusual, and…just be on guard. As of five days ago, this joint has been a madhouse and Aro is flipping out. As to why…it's not my place to say, really. But I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. Like I said before, don't be worried, just cautious. Say hey to Bella for me. _

_Take care, kid, and look both ways before crossing the street! _

_Felix _

It's been eleven days since I received Felix's letter. For eleven days I'd nothing but look behind me and worry non-stop. I didn't sleep; I just kept thinking about why Felix of all people was warning me to keep a eye out and by the time November 16th came around, I was fed up with the emotional roller coasters.

I hadn't been lying when I said that his name haunted me after that horrific night, it did. Such a short and plain sort of name; only two syllables long, yet it was so powerful at the same time. It was the first word that I heard when I drifted off to sleep, in my dreams, when I woke up and popped in off and on, in my head during the day. His face, his radiant features, always caught me off guard. And each time they did, it was like a stab in my back that I could practically feel piercing through my flesh.

Why did I have to miss that face, and that voice? What was it about them that was so enchanting? Better yet, why him? Why did these such brilliant aspects have to belong to someone so vile; to Alec?

These questions had been rotating all around me, but they were never answered with something I wanted to hear. Instead, I got disturbed glances from my father, who had to share all of these feelings with me. By some miracle, however, he never mentioned them to me or to anyone else, at least as far as I knew. I would be very much grateful if he wasn't extending my misery to others, because it was sort of obvious how I had been feeling.

I've been trying to be pleasant though, or at least as much as I could manage to be. I made it a point not to sit around and mope like most people would. It wasn't my family's fault that my heart had been shattered into rusty, sharp edges that scraped the inside of my chest. It wasn't their fault my life seemed dim and that getting through the day seemed like a chore. I would've loved to have taken it out on them and find some way to blame them, but I couldn't.

I could say that they were the reason I ran away, but honestly, that was me being immature and stupid. I could even blame Jacob for pressuring me into developing feelings for him, and that was my reasoning for bolting, but again; I should have talked to him, rather just leaving town because I was too much of a chicken to face him. It was my fault for leaving, and it was definitely my fault for going there.

Besides thinking about Alec and trying to get my life back together, I had also been trying to reconnect with Jake. It hadn't been an easy task like I had thought. He wasn't mean to my or anything, but very distant. He instead, spent most of his time with Leah. I hadn't made fun of him for it, as I had done when I talked to him on the phone, because I really didn't have room to talk about being drawn to someone who was completely wrong for you. But truth be told, I think the two of them were just right for each other. They understood one another, and connected on a level that I had no desire to trample on. If Leah made him happy, then I was happy for him. Of course, he was still being stubborn and had not completely admitted his feelings of her to me, but I knew just the same. It was obvious by the way he looked at her. I sort of missed getting looked at that way by Alec, but once I remembered that the look wasn't what I thought it was, the feeling of longing was replaced by the feeling of wanting to bury myself in a hole from humiliation.

However, I did have Duckie to keep my mind distracted. That's right, I had actually become close friends from the strange girl at the airport. Apparently she had gotten back to her mom's in Georgia and got her GED. Soon after that I got a phone call from her saying she wanted to come visit me.

After charming my parents into it, I told her she of course, could come stay at our place for a while. Upon arriving here, she seemed totally at ease and didn't seem to have one problem with my family, who were surprised but accepting towards her strange personality. She continued to hit on my dad and uncles, and even made hints at Carlisle, which almost send me to the bathroom to vomit. But, she was polite enough and they didn't have much problems with her. Of course, there was always the aspect of her looking at them weird when they didn't eat, but I always came up with some excuse as to why and she let it go.

As of now, my family were in Idaho on a hunting trip. The reasoning why they were gone was for a couple of reasons. A: I think that as much as they liked Duckie, she was a little much to handle. B: They hadn't been out of town in a while and were starting to get stir crazy. I was surprised that they allowed me to stay home by myself, because I thought they would worry I would run off again or something. But, they left Jake on babysitter duty and he was over everyday to check up on me and Duckie, who didn't have a problem with him popping in because he was almost always shirtless. They were suppose to be gone for a few weeks, and I couldn't be happier to have my mind to myself again. As much as I loved Dad, it was really awkward sometimes.

Today was just one of those days where me and Duckie did nothing but sit around and watch movies, only today she had a new idea and introduced me to a little something called marijuana. I was hesitant about it, but she explained how it relaxed you and really wasn't that big of a deal. I eventually gave in and tried it. It wasn't because of depression or anything stupid like that but because I just wanted to.

I had heard that when people first do pot that they don't really feel a difference, and I'm not sure if it was because I wasn't exactly all human that this happened but I noticed alright.

"You know something, Duckie? I think you're awesome…" I slurred, sprawling out on my bed as I continued to listen to the movie we were watching in the background. I think it was called, 'Better Off Dead', or something, but I couldn't be sure. This movie had dancing and singing burgers along with french-fries, and I wasn't sure if it was movie or the pot.

It felt as if I were floating on a freaking cloud or something, and I was in a total daze. Things didn't seem to matter right now, and that felt pretty amazing considering the crappy month I'd had.

Duckie laughed and shook her head, obviously more use to this stuff than I was.

"Pssh, it's just the Mary Jane talking." Duckie said, still giggling at me.

I shook my head, smiling widely.

"No, is isn't! It's…"

My attention got pulled away from her to the movie where I found myself getting drawn into what was happening. There were two teenage boys appearing to be fighting over this girl. One of them was kind of chubby looking with these really funny glasses on and the other was scrawnier, who Duckie had told me was John Cusack. I continued to watch as John tried to make a intimidating noise of the chubby guy, who responded in a loud, earth shattering shriek as he threw himself towards John with his tongue wagging back and fourth out of his mouth.

The next thing I knew, I had fallen to the floor from laughing, so hard that my stomach muscles ached and I had tears starting to streak down my eyes. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed this hard, but that was just too freaking hilarious not to laugh.

"Did…did you…see that?" I choked, pointing to the screen and scrambling to get the remote to rewind it so I could watch it again.

Duckie laughed along with me, but not to the severity I was because she'd seen this movie before.

"It's the best part of the movie, I think." she commented, finding the remote and rewinding it so I could watch it again. I only laughed harder the second time, and this time Duckie started laughing harder too, probably more at me than at the chubby guy.

Once we finally managed to turn the movie off, seeing as it was over now, she started a discussion on the actor.

"You know, I would totally bone John Cusack." Duckie said, sounding completely serious, her eyes staring straight into the scream, not cracking into a fit of laughter.

I giggled and shook my head, wondering what in the world she saw in that guy. He wasn't my type at all. Then again my type was a ruby eyed monster, so I guess I can't judge.

"Who wouldn't you bone?" I asked, inhaling the small joint and trying not to cough.

Duckie pondered that for a moment, raising her eyebrows in thought.

"That's a good question that I will gladly answer when I'm sober." she replied, leaning back onto my pillow and sighing, her eyes seemed to lighten up as she smirked at me. "When is Jake coming over?"

I rolled my eyes and jumped off the bed, observing my reflection in the mirror. I didn't look horrible, but not exactly great either. You could tell I was high and off in space somewhere, as my eyes were bloodshot and I just looked out of it.

"Duckie?"

"Hmm?"

"Am I ugly?" I asked, studying the outline of my body, tilting my head slightly to one side.

"Cookie, you know I don't swing that way." she teased, and I could see her smiling through the mirror.

"No, that's not what I mean!" I laughed again, pulling my hair off my neck and grimacing. "I mean, am I like…not worth a guy's devotion? I'm pretty, right?" I asked, turning around and looking at her desperately.

Her face turned serious and she sighed, shaking her head in disapproval.

"You're smoking, biscotto. Any idiot who doesn't realize that should have their nuts chopped off because they obviously don't deserve you to play with them."

I tensed up at her choice of wording.

She knew I didn't like it when she spoke in Italian, and I knew she couldn't help it considering English was her second language and sometimes little things popped out. It always reminded me of Alec and the way he sounded when he spoke it. Of course, her slight accent did remind me of Roberto, which warmed my heart a little. Damn it, why did I have to make an Italian friend?

Duckie had Italian written all over her, as well. Her features screamed it. Her long, silky dark hair and her olive toned complexion. She loved her food almost as much as she loved her men. However, she was only half Italian, or at least she said so. Apparently her American mother was touring through Europe and met her father in Italy. The rest is sort of obvious, I imagine.

Duckie must of noticed my change, because she frowned.

"Speaking of the sleaze ball…"

"It has nothing to do with him." I said softly, wishing it weren't.

Crap, the weed was starting to wear off. Was it suppose to do that this soon?

Damn you Vampire genes!

"Don't lie to me, Cookie. You have that bitch written all over you…what's his name again? Alec was it?" she asked, pursing her lips as she tried to remember.

I pretended not to hear her as I fiddled with random strands of my hair, biting my lip nervously my heart breaking at the sound of his name coming from her lips. Alec was the least of topics I wanted to get into right now. I would rather talk about Jacob and how he imprinted on me than Alec. Of course, Duckie didn't know anything about imprinting or werewolves or vampires. I'd been worried that she had picked up on some things but thus far she seemed clueless. She knew the basic facts of my Italian trip.

We met, I fell, I fallen.

It's as simple as that and I didn't have the need to go into further detail the needed. I was actually proud of myself for having the ability to tell her anything about him.

Looking at my friend, I could tell by the way she was glaring at me that she was about to protest, but just as she was about to the doorbell rung from downstairs.

Saved by the bell. literally.

We were staying at the main house where everyone lived instead of our cottage because it seemed less freaky than a little house in the middle of the woods. Duckie would've asked why and I wouldn't have been able to come up with a believable answer.

_'Oh, my parents- excuse me, brother and sister, are into fairytale stuff. Kinky right?. Plus, they want a place to screw where no one else can hear them because my family has a keen sense of hearing!'_

Yeah. No.

As far as Duckie was concerned, Carlisle and Esme were my adopted parents, dad was my biological brother who they also adopted, mom was his girlfriend who was around everyday….and night and Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper were also my adopted siblings who didn't have a problem sleeping together.

Yeah, why hadn't she been running for the hills yet?

I got up and left my temporary room, which Alice had decorated before Duckie came to look like my actual room because I'm spoiled that way, and ran down the huge flight of stairs towards the front door. Happy to have the distraction.

"Cookie!" called Duckie, groaning in complaint.

I ignored her as I swung open the front door and froze at the two men standing on the porch.

"Hey, Little Nez…" said Felix, smiling awkwardly.

My eyes widened as I looked over his shoulder to see Demitri standing there with a stern frown on his face.

I didn't know what to think, or how to react. All I could feel was fear running through my veins at the sight of them. Why were they here? Why couldn't they leave me alone! I didn't have a problem writing Felix, but that didn't imply that I wanted to see him at my house, because he was with them. I loved Felix, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't help but be afraid of him after everything that had happened. It just didn't make sense for them to be here! I noticed that both Felix and Demitri had these stupid contacts in, making their eyes a sort of believable color. I was sort of glad I didn't have to look into their scarlet eyes, as it would only bring back not so pleasant memories.

I tensed, backing away from the door slowly as I shook my head in denial, my heart dropping.

"No…No, No. You can't be here-"

"Hey, calm down, baby girl." Felix said in a attempted comforting voice. "We're not here to hurt you or anything, I just need to ask you a couple of questions, alright?"

I continued to shake my head as tears pooled in my eyes.

This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.

"Who is it!" Duckie called, as she started down the stairs.

"Death." I replied, in a low voice as I started straight into Felix's face. My body tensed and shaky at the sight of them. I could feel Duckie come up beside me, as she stopped dead in her tracks.

I glanced over at her, and saw that she was staring directly at Felix as well. A look of awe and wonder in her huge, brown eyes. I looked back over to Felix, who smirked in acknowledgment.

This couldn't be good.

"If he's death then I sure wouldn't mind dying right now…I always knew I'd go out with a bang." Duckie breathed as she licked her lips and cocked an eyebrow.

Felix's continuous stares at her bothered me. His eyes never leaving her face and I felt like I was intruding on something that I wasn't suppose too. My mind going completely blank. The pressure of the room becoming extremely awkward.

Were they eye sexing each other right now? What the crap? I had gone from fearing my life to completely confused in a total of two seconds. This all didn't make sense. At least not from Felix's end. Or maybe I was wrong?

"What's your name, beefcake?" asked Duckie, smiling coyly as she placed her hands on her hips.

"If I tell you, do I get a hug?" Felix questioned, raising an eyebrow with a smirk still to his lips. Duckie giggled seductively and took a step forward.

"Oh, honey, you get that and so much more…besides, I need to know the name I'll be screaming out later…"

_Oh my ears! My ears! Oh my god!_

This was Definitely not good.

Felix's face seemed to light up like a candle upon hearing her response, where as my jaw dropped to the ground. What the hell had gotten into her? She usually wasn't this bad! I mean sure she had made some passes at my family but nothing like this! Oh this was so disturbing! I could practically see Felix's pants grow and it was not a sight I had ever wanted to witness!

"Felix.." he choked out, staring at her like she was a goddess. I glanced back at Demitri who was rolling his eyes. Apparently I was the only one who gave a damn about this, because Demitri just didn't give a shit it seemed.

Duckie smiled and walked up to him and literally gave him a hug. She pressed her body against his, purposely sticking our her chest to make sure it rubbed against him. I knew I shouldn't have been watching this, but I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from the scene.

"You can call me Antonietta if you'd like…" Duckie whispered into his ear as she pulled away from him.

I gasped, as I had never heard her real name before, and I sure as hell hadn't heard her give permission to someone to call her that. every time I asked, she said always said that she'd die before being called by her first name. I turned to look at Felix, who was starting to say something, but was cut off before he had a chance to.

"Perhaps we should discuss as to why we're here, Felix? In private." said Demitri with warning in his tone.

"Yes, I think that's a splendid idea!" I exclaimed, Thankful for the distraction. dragging Duckie by the arm. "Felix, this is Duckie- er, Antonietta, and Duckie this is Felix. Duckie is a friend of mine and she's going upstairs, as in now." I said sternly, prying Duckie away from him.

"Can he come with me?" she asked, and I groaned.

"No!"

"But-"

"Move it!"

She frowned and glared at me, stomping towards the stairs, but not before giving Felix one last wink and a signal to call her.

Good gosh.

After she was out of sight, I turned back around to glare at Felix, who was still looking at the direction she had left in.

"I'm really liking your choice in friends, Lil' Nez." he mumbled.

"Felix, she's sixteen!"

"Hey, I was around twenty-five when I was changed…it's not that much of a difference. Besides, you're what, seven? And Alec is almost-"

"That's sort of the reason we're here, you see." Demitri interrupted, and my chest dropped at the mention of him. I had to start getting tough about this sort of thing. I couldn't lose it when he was mentioned! I was strong, and he would not get the best of me.

"What do you mean, he's the reason?" I asked suspiciously, not liking the sudden change of subject. I looked at Felix, who frowned and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. I didn't like this. I didn't like this at all.

"Alec…is he okay? Did something happen to him?" I asked frantically as a wave of anxiety washed over me.

God, please don't let him be hurt.

I could feel my limbs starting to shake and my eyes once again start to swell with tears. Acid rose to my throat and I tried not to throw up or faint. My heart sped up even more, making me break out into a slight sweat as my vision started to blur. I never even got to see him again to tell him…

I was just about to sink to the ground and break out into uncontrollable sobs when Felix's head shot up in shock as he started to shake his head rapidly, giving me a twinge of hope.

"Oh, Nez…he's fine! He's okay, I promise!" he reassured, patting my back softly as if to soothe me. I took in his words at once, swallowing back the lump in my throat. I breathed slowly, grabbing my chest.

"He's okay? You're sure?" I asked, already started to feel my body relax at the confirmation.

I couldn't quite understand what it was I was feeling, but I just knew that if something ever happened to him, I would shut down completely. I couldn't define my feelings for him anymore, they seemed all jumbled up together. Did I love him? Did I care about him? Obviously I did enough not to want anything bad to happen to him. But that didn't make sense, and it didn't the night when Dad was about to attack him. Why did I have to even care? I didn't want to care. Why should I? He didn't care about me, at least not enough to be honest with me. I hated this, I hated having to doubt his feelings and every moment I spent with him but he didn't leave me with any other option.

"I'm positive." Felix confirmed, letting go of my arm and stepping back with Demitri, who had a puzzled expression on his face. He was probably wondering why I gave a crap as much as I was.

"Then…why are you here?" I asked, clearly confused.

I was expecting Felix to answer, but instead Demitri stepped around Felix and for the first time since I could remember, he actually looked directly at me and spoke.

"We need to know when you last spoke to him." Demitri asked, cocking an eyebrow and meant complete business. I grimaced, not quite understanding his meaning.

"What do you mean, when I last spoke to him? In Italy, don't you remember? It sort of involved me getting the humiliation of my life."

"Well you must have talked to him considering he's been here. I can sense his mind…" Demitri mumbled, glancing towards the forest.

My eyes about popped out of their sockets. What did he say? Alec had been here? That was absurd! He hadn't been here, I wouldn't known if he was. It wasn't possible.

"No, he hasn't." I insisted, shaking my head. I looked over to Felix, who didn't seem to agree with me. "Felix, he wasn't here! Why would he be here?"

"Because he left, and this is where Demitri tracked him down. At first we thought he was in London, and after that we looked through other places he had been but eventually found our way here." Felix explained, "Someone else is with him, but Demitri can't put a finger on who it is. Did you ever figure that one out?" he asked, glancing at Demitri, who shook his head.

"No, I've never met them so I couldn't exactly tell you who it is."

"Then how do you know he's with someone?" I asked, suddenly completely desperate to know who he was with and why.

"Because I can sense it in his mind. He's quite…annoyed with whoever it is." Demitri sighed, a frustrated grimace on his face. He obviously didn't like not being able to know. I didn't like not knowing either. But whatever, Alec could hang out with whoever he wanted, what did I care?

Just then, a new thought and fear arose in my head and it was at the tip of my tongue to ask but I bit it back. Whether or not Alec was with a girl was none of my business. Besides, it wasn't my loss or anything, she would only get hurt.

"I still don't see what this has to do with me or why he would be here."

"Because he obviously wants to see you. Little prick lied to me too, broke my promise! I told him to stay away but does he listen? Does anyone ever listen to-"

"Felix…" Demitri breathed.

"Sorry. Point is, Marcus gave him a valuable gift. He let him leave for a short period of time, and the time is up. He was suppose to be back on the first and he's not. That's why we're looking for him, to bring him back."

It still didn't seem to match up in my head. Why would Marcus let him do that? And why did he leave in the first place, where did he go? Why was I so damn curious!

_Get it together, Renesmee._

Yeah, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal that he left to go off into the unknown with a stranger, who Demitri and Felix don't even know. It's not a big deal he stumbled into my town and probably spied on my while I was changing or something. It's not a big deal that two guards are on my front porch interrogating me like I'm a suspect. It's not a big deal that Duckie wants to jump one of them, who would probably end up biting and killing her if she tried because that's just his style. It's not a big deal that my family isn't here to protect me from the red eyed vamp police. It's not a big deal that Jacob is probably off screwing Leah right now. It's not a big deal that I'm still in love with Alec who is out in the world when he's suppose to be back at the Volturi. It's not a big deal that Aro is probably pissed and is going to punish Alec when he does get back.

Yeah, everything is perfect and I had no reason in the world to worry.

I groaned and pulled at my hair, pacing back and fourth on the porch.

"Well, then go get him. I mean, go follow his brain or whatever. He's not here anymore, so what's the point of talking to me?"

Demitri smiled a smile that really wasn't something I considered a friendly one and started walking towards me.

"Because, instead of playing ring tag with him, why not cheat and get what he wants most to lure him back?" he asked in a dangerous voice.

My heart sped up again and terror invaded me in realization. They weren't here to talk to me, they were here to kidnap me! No, this couldn't happen. It couldn't. I started trembling again, staring into his face that had no mercy in it. I shook my head as I began to back up against my house, but before I could make it far, Demitri grabbed me; yanking me towards him forcefully. Pain shot though my arm as I resisted his attempts and begged him to let go.

I'm going to die.

I was going to die all because I fell for the wrong person? I was going to go to my nightmare first hand? The mere thought had me screaming at the top of my lungs, my body squirming against Demitri who by now had a good hold on me. My surroundings began to spin as my heart pounded against my rib cage. The more I fought him the more my body became exhausted by his strength, and soon my limbs grew tired and weak from uselessly hitting and kicking him. So, when I didn't have anything else but my voice; I used it.

"Jake! JACOB, HELP ME! HELP ME, PLEASE!"

My body became rash as air refused to go to my chest, His hands around my arms squeezed me tightly, making me whimper as my arm began to throb. My only hope was that Jacob could hear me; that some how he would stop this from happening but I couldn't count my blessings. I knew better.

Why was this happening me? Why did I have to get involved with all of this? This wasn't my world, it wasn't my problem. I couldn't go back. I wasn't going back to that rat hole, I wasn't!

I started to cry immediately, tears screaming down my face as I looked around for something to throw at Demitri. Just as I had given up hope on finding anything, Felix's hand grasped onto Demitri's arm firmly. Everything was happening so fast and I yelped from the surprise of what was going on.

Felix grabbed Demitri from behind and tore him away from me; hurling him off the porch within a second's time. Demitri flew into the air and into the dirt, a vicious hiss escaping his lips in awareness of what Felix had just done. Felix jumped in front of me, crouching in defense as a low, dangerous growl emerged from his chest. The sound terrified me yet at the same time comforting. Felix pulled me by the arm to stand behind him, where I grabbed onto both sleeves of his jacket, my body was still trembling from terror. Holding onto him was the only thing that was keeping me from falling to the ground, because my were legs were shaking so bad, I knew they weren't going to hold me up by themselves.

Felix was protecting me, he was defending me against his own coven. If I had ever doubted him as a friend, it was completely forgotten now because I realized that I could put my faith in him completely. He wasn't like the rest of them.

"You don't touch her, understand?" Felix snarled, as Demitri glared in our direction. He jumped up from off the ground, and I jumped slightly as he was still a threat.

"Renesmee is not going anywhere. We'll find Alec the old fashioned way. Sorry to disappoint you, but you're not going to kidnap her just because you're lazy. This doesn't involve her."

Demitri smirked, wiping the dirt off his pants.

"It has everything to do with her," he said, rolling his eyes. "He left because of her, and she can be his reason to return. We wont hurt the girl unless Alec makes it necessary, Felix. You're being ridiculous and you know it." Demitri sneered, his face curling in disgust.

I never knew Demitri was so cruel before. I figured since Heidi saw something in him he must have had some good aspect about him, but what was I thinking? Heidi was no better. None of them were. Felix was the only one with a heart, it seemed. His words also puzzled me. Alec left because of me? That didn't make any sense. None of this did. My head was beginning to pound from stress, fear and confusion. This hadn't been the day I was aiming for.

"I'm keeping my word," Felix stated sternly. "We're not taking her and that's final. He's not here anymore so we should head out and continue to search. Got it?"

Demitri let out a dry laugh and shook his head.

"You've gotten too attached." Demitri snarled.

I froze and gripped onto Felix even tighter as I felt glares coming in my direction, my heart humming against my chest as I watched his every move intently.

"The girl upstairs," he motioned to the house, "does she have any suspicions?"

This time Felix's body tensed, and I could've sworn he seemed just as worried as I was over the possibly of Duckie knowing something.

I gulped, and shook my head.

"No, she doesn't."

_Thank god._

Demitri didn't seem convinced but nodded just the same, but still gave me a look that said, 'We'll find out soon enough.'

"Very well, it'd be a shame really, having to kill Felix's little crush…sickening."

Another chill ran down my spine. I didn't want Duckie being involved with any of this. That was the last thing in the whole world I wanted. I wanted her stay far away from this world. The very thought of her hurting because of me made me sick.

How could Alec do this to me now? How could he put me in this situation? This just proves to me that he didn't care at all. Not that I thought he did anyways, but still! If I had any hope at all it ended when Demitri tried to take me as bait.

Still standing behind Felix, I looked down at my feet as Demitri mumbled something to himself before walking away and out of vision. As soon as he was, I let out a breath of relief, but I was still shaking and my heart wouldn't stop beating. Felix turned around and made a 'whew' sound giving me a encouraging smile.

"Close call, huh? I thought I was gonna' have to kick some serious ass there for a second." He joked. I looked down and tried to control my body motions, fear still enabling my body.

"There isn't a possibility of me going back there, right? I mean…I…" I couldn't find the right words, but just kept rambling. "Felix, I can't go back there! I just…can't. Not with everything- with him. Please, please don't-"

The tears I'd been holding in all afternoon poured freely down my cheeks and I begged him in desperation. My heart felt like it weighed a ton in my chest, and thumped repeatedly over and over, my breath coming up short as I panicked.

I couldn't to back to Volterra. I couldn't go to the Volturi.

I couldn't face them again, not after what happened. I couldn't look at Aro or Jane in the eyes. The very thought of it made my blood run cold. That place kills you inside. It killed all of them, every single one of them. It takes something from you that you could never get back, and I was lucky to get out while I had the chance. The Volturi robbed you of your innocence; just like they robbed me of my innocence; he took it from me. And look at what they did to him, to Alec. They turned him into a monster, a lying, cheating monster. Maybe he was better off dying in that fire, because at least then we would have died as him and not who Aro made him.

Thinking that send a pang of guilt though me and my chest began to ache.

How could I think something so horrible?

He didn't deserve to die like that, he didn't deserve to die at all. He should have stayed human, grew a family and a life. Not this, not with them. He should have had that, a happy and healthy life. He should have never met me, should have never spoken to me or smiled at me. He should have never made love to me, played with me, laughed with me, cried with me. It was all programmed into him, what Aro made him do, another task that put him that much farther than the real him. He was just like a robot; heartless. I didn't even know him, did I? Two months with Alec and I had no idea who he was.

My tears transitioned into sobs, my body feeling heavy as my chest tried to catch up.

Felix then pulled me into a tight hug. I grabbed onto him, burying my face in his shoulder as I shook. I was crying so hard it hurt, and I couldn't breath. My body heaved as I continued to let it all out, all the anger and hatred, the sorrow and feelings of betrayal. Since that night in Volterra, I hadn't really let go, because I was afraid of when I did, I would lose myself.

"It's gonna' be okay, you know that, right? You're not going back there, I promise." Felix comforted, stroking the back of my head softly.

I shook my head into his shoulder, sniffing.

"It's never going to be okay. He made sure of that."

Felix sighed heavily, pulling away and cupping my face in his large, cold hands. My heart ached at the gesture.

"No. You're going to be okay. You're not going to let this get the best you. You're stronger than that; than him." he said sternly, looking me straight in the eye.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, not believing a word of it, even though a part of me wished he was right, but the truth of the matter was, I knew better.

"I'm not strong, Felix. I may be half a vampire but I don't feel strong…" my bottom lip quivered, and I forced myself not to start crying again.

"The fact that you walked out of that place alive with your head held high makes you the strongest person I've ever known, little Nez." Felix said gently but seriously, and I looked up at him in surprise, fresh tears springing to my eyes.

"I mean sure, people have left the Volturi before, but never under the circumstances you went through that day."

I stood dumbfounded; overwhelmingly touched by his comment. His saying I was the strongest person he had ever known, and he'd been alive a while, was a serious compliment. I didn't know how to respond to it except to smile at him and pull him into another hug.

"Thank you…"

Felix chuckled lightly as I pulled away again, wiping the remaining tears.

"No need for thanks, shortcake, just Duckie's phone number."

I laughed, punching him in the arm playfully. He smiled sheepishly, shrugging as if it were no big deal.

"She's my best friend Felix."

"So am I!" he whined like a five year old. I shook my head and bit on my lower lip.

"You don't even know her," I explained, "she….she's very _friendly."_

I felt horrible for basically saying my friend slept around, but by the look on Felix's face he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he actually seemed happy.

_What the hell?_

Staring at my house where Duckie left, looking like a love-stuck puppy. Felix followed my notion and bit his lip too; his face suddenly turning nervous.

"Are you saying…she wouldn't be interested?"

I shook my head, my heart breaking at the sight of his face. I bet if he could cry, he would by the looks of it.

Damn me and my big mouth.

"No, it's not that it's just….you're a vampire. She's-"

"Beautiful."

"Felix!" I snapped, clapping my hands together. "Focus! You're a Volturi and she's a human. We both know relationships with the guards never work out and if you care at all, you'd let this crush slide and leave Duckie alone."

Felix looked down at his feet as my words sank in. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to hurt Duckie either but what I spoke was the truth. If Duckie got involved with them, things would only get worse. I was saying this as a friend of them both. I was saving them from my kind of heart break. Although the more I spoke, the more I realized I was sounding like a complete heartless bitch.

Still the truth needed to be said. Duckie didn't need to get her hopes up, and Felix needed to understand.

After a moment of silence, Felix finally looked up at me. His eyebrow cocked at me as he spoke, and his voice was completely serious and low, which scared the living daylights out me.

"He did a number on you kid," Felix sighed. " I mean Duckie and I just met and already you're scared I'm going to hurt her. Thanks a lot, Renesmee."

The sound of my real name coming out of his lips so harshly made me cringe, because he never referred to me as Renesmee, and now I know that when he did, it wasn't out of kindness. He was pissed at me.

With that said, Felix turned and started walking away. I called out his name a couple of times before he finally stopped.

"Can you do something for me Felix?" I asked, my eyes still glossy from tears.

He nodded, his posture stern as he held eye-contact.

"If you see him…" I began, taking a deep breath and preparing myself for actually passing on a message to Alec. "…tell him I said be careful. Please?"

My voice began to break as I tried to hold in the anxiety of my own words.

He was out there, he was out in the real world. Was he alone? No, not according to Demitri. Was he with someone he could trust? I hope so. I hoped that whoever they were that they would take care of him.

He may not love me as I thought, but I couldn't deny the fact that I loved him. Very, very much.

I tried to fight it all the time, and on good days I think I did, but then I remember that I'm just being distracted. I just can't turn off the switch that told me I loved him.

Do I want him? No, definitely not. I don't want to hurt anymore, but I do love him.

Sighing quietly to myself, I glanced at Felix who just smiled as his eyes drifted to the second floor window. I wondered if he was looking in Duckie's direction, and my guess it was yes. I didn't understand their infatuation with each other at all. They didn't seem like the types of people you would ever see together.

_Pot calling the kettle black much, Renesmee? You're such a hypocrite._

The first time I saw Alec I wanted to rip off his clothes and consume him in an instant. Who was I to call them both stupid for feeling an attraction to each other? It happened. Just as long as they didn't fall in love and ruin each other for life.

I hoped that I hadn't ruined things with Felix, but something told me that no matter what I did to stop the two of them from doing whatever it was their doing and they still wouldn't listen to me. Something also told me that I could be the worst person on the planet and Felix would still have my back, and for that I was grateful. It's kind of funny when you think about it though.

The flirt of the Volturi and the sex-crazed best friend. Maybe things would work out? Felix wasn't Alec, right? He wouldn't hurt her too bad? It still wouldn't have a happy ending.

_Shut up!_

"I'll tell him. Don't worry, okay? You'll be safe. He may not of kept his promise, but I sure as hell will."

I nodded and smiled softly, feeling the urge to hug him again. I believed every word he spoke

"I'll tell Duckie you said bye."

His eyes drifted back to my face. I bit my lip, wondering if maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. Felix then turned around and looked at Demitri who was standing several feet away, then back at me.

"Just remember the law, okay? She can't know anything. She's a nice girl and…hot…but it doesn't change the rules. Keep you _and_ your friend safe."

"I will," I promised, crossing an X over my heart. "Take care, okay Felix? Thanks a lot for being there, with Dem-"

He shrugged and waved me off as if it wasn't that big a deal, even if it was. I stepped back into my house while watching the two vampires leave, wishing that I had seen Felix under different situations. I had a lot of mixed feelings over the whole situation.

Angry, depressed, worried.

I wondered if I should tell Jake of my visitors and if I did tell him, do I tell him all of it? Or do I sugar coat everything? I wouldn't want to lie to him but I knew Jake. I knew his response would be to go on total lock down and freak the hell out. And I didn't want to do that. I didn't want him going all crazy over something that was taken care of now.

Thanks to Felix.

I waited for a few more moments by the window, making sure they were gone, and turned around to start heading back upstairs. As I made my way to them, Dad's piano caught the corner of my eye. I stopped walking and stared at the giant, beautiful instrument, one which had been present for my very first kiss. Our kiss.

_'Forgive me?'_

I closed my eyes and sighed, recalling how his sincere and compelling voice caused my entire body to pulsate. Just as I felt myself smile in the memory, the happy sentiments were torn away and I couldn't believe I was still doing this to myself. I opened my eyes, turning my head back to the piano.

"Always." I said out loud, quoting my response when I played right into his manipulation. I laughed bitterly as I glared at it. What a moron I was.

I was tempted to destroy the stupid thing, but realized it wasn't the same piano and my father would be very upset with me. Though at the moment, I really didn't care if he was mad. I just needed to get that thing out of my site before I threw it across the room. I didn't think that was what Felix meant by keeping a low profile for Duckie. She didn't know anything about this world and I intended it to stay that way.

After cursing the piano, I went upstairs to my room to see what she was up to. I walked in, and instantly I could tell that something was terribly wrong.

"Duckie, what's wrong?" I asked urgently, observing how distraught and terrified she looked.

She was sitting on the bed, staring into space with her mouth hanging open slightly. She didn't look up at me when I spoke, which wasn't a good sign.

"…Duckie?"

I still didn't get any sort of response from her. Hell, I didn't even get a blink for the girl. She was stone; not moving and it was really worrying me. Did she hear me and Felix? Did she hear what I said about them not being able to be together? If she heard that, then she must have heard…

My heart sank as the light bulb lit up over my head.

She heard everything, saw everything, knew everything. Well, not everything, but she knew enough, that was for sure. But how? Was she eavesdropping? That was a good possibly. But wouldn't have Felix and Demitri known she was? Didn't they have like, awesome sense on that sort of thing? I mean, it was their job to keep people from knowing, right?

_Damn, damn, damn!_

We're all toast; history. They'll find out she knows and then it's sayonara! Dread filled me as I thought about how both Demitri and Felix warned me. Well, it was their fault! If they hadn't shown up and if Demitri hadn't tried to attack me and if Felix hadn't thrown him several feet in the air; Duckie would still be in the dark, which is where she belonged! So, the Volturi is going to kill us all basically. That is, if my family doesn't first.

Ah, shit! They're going to come home and find out that they made a huge mistake by leaving me all alone and then they'll never let me out of their sight again at the risk of revealing all of our secrets to humans. But perhaps if I explain to them it wasn't my fault? it was Felix and Demitri's…

No, then they'd go hunt down Felix and Demitri and kill them or something, and I couldn't have that because Felix was my friend and he couldn't die because I cared about him and he had to get the message to Alec whom I loved and he can't do that if he's dead. No, they couldn't hurt Felix, not that he wouldn't put up a good fight or anything but my family has stronger numbers than him and Demitri. Why the hell had Alice not seen them coming? I thought she said she was going to keep an eye out on what they were up to.

I'm getting off track here. Duckie freaking knows about the existence of vampires here! Or maybe she doesn't. Maybe she's just depressed she couldn't bone with Felix!

I took a step closer to her, and she immediately flinched at the movement and stared at me with horror in her eyes.

Or maybe she really knows and I just need to be cool about this. Be cool, Renesmee.

Okay. I can do this. I can explain to her what's happening without her running off screaming in fear and telling someone about this. If she did that, I'd have to stop her. Oh gosh, I'd have to keep her hostage or some crap like that! I couldn't do that! I couldn't keep her here against her will. I'd be no better than Demitri! Maybe I should call my parents.

_Maybe you should quit thinking so hard and talk to her._

Good idea.

"Duckie, what did you hear?" I asked gently, wanting to know exactly what it is she knew and how much she didn't. Maybe if it wasn't a lot I could convince her we were just playing around. But if she saw Demitri attacking me, that'd be a little harder to explain.

Duckie shook her head frantically, blinking.

"I don't know," she squeaked, glancing up at me then the ground. "I'm going crazy. I'm going insane just like my grandma."

"What do you mean, 'like my grandma'"?

"I mean she always said…v…v…" she stuttered.

"…Vampires?" I finished, and she cringed, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye.

"It all had something to do with that stupid Saint Marcus Day Festival. She always bought into that crap and I told her she was drunk; which she was most of the time…" she explained, still not looking at me. "And then I showed up here and honestly, your family is weird, Cookie! Don't think I haven't noticed the no eating and sleeping thing around here. I just thought they were insomniacs and anorexic or something, but there is no way Emmett is not eating with those bolder sized arms he has."

I continued to listen, letting her say what she needed to say. In the meantime I was wondering how the heck I was going to explain all of this to her without completely freaking her out. Oh, this wasn't good. Why did I let her come over? I should have known something like this was going to happen sooner or later. I would have visited her but there was no way my parents were letting me leave Forks again, so that wouldn't have been an option.

"And then there's how all of you are insanely showing off with the pretty," she rambled, running her hands through her hair, "and how everyone except you has the same freaking eye color, and how you all look like you could use a visit to the tanning salon. You're freakishly warm but once I bumped into Carlisle on purpose…or not, okay it was intentional. But still! He felt like he had been locked in a freezer. Ya'll always act like you have this secret or something and like you're walking on eggshells around me. And today, I was spying on you guys because I wanted to know more about that Felix dude and I heard some pretty abnormal shit coming from your mouths'. You said you were a half…whatever and then Felix and the blonde guy started hissing at each other like cats or something and then Felix threw him across the yard, which admittedly was sexy but really scary all at the same time."

I was amazed at how much she observed. Not just today but in general. Most people didn't notice the things she did. Though each word she said was more confirmation of how much crap we were buried in. My mind came down to the two options the Volturi gave you in a situation like this:

You either die or become a vampire.

Most times, they didn't even get the chance of being immortal, because they had no one to speak for them. We would speak for Duckie; we'd fight for her. I know my family would be less than thrilled, since they had played this whole game before but they wouldn't turn their backs on her and feed her to the wolves; no pun intended. They just weren't those kinds of people. They cared, right? They were compassionate. Esme wouldn't send Duckie away unprotected. Esme felt bad for the animals she killed, for crying out loud! No, we were going to be fine.

Not unless they sent Alec to clean up the mess.

I grabbed onto the wall to keep from falling. No, he wasn't on good terms with them right now. They wouldn't send him on such an important mission, and certainly not here where I was. When he came back he was going to be in some serious trouble with Aro and I doubt they would let him leave to go anywhere. Just like me.

I realized I had completely zoned out from Duckie again, and I tried to remember what she had last said.

"Listen, I know how scared and confused you have to be right now…but we're not bad people, honest. And we're not going to hurt you." I reassured her, hoping she would actually believe me.

Yeah right. Would any normal person believe me in a situation like this? Hell no. She had no reason to believe a word I said.

Duckie's head shot up and she looked at me with a puzzled look on her face, as if she didn't get what I had just said. What didn't she get?

"I know that," she stated, talking to me like I was the clueless one. "If you guys wanted me dead I would've been dead a long time ago but I'm not."

Then again, Duckie really wasn't all that normal of a person, was she?

I stood there, absolutely amazed at her confidence in us, even after hearing and seeing everything. She was still high; that's what it was.

"But you're scared! You have to be! I'd be scared; I'd be out of my mind with fear if I was in your shoes!" I insisted, trying to find out what she was thinking. "I mean, living your whole life hearing about vampire stories and seeing movies but always assuring yourself it's fake and then one day finding out it's real? I can't imagine. Duckie, I mean…you must want answers. An explanation? Or want to know nothing at all and just get away from here. I'd understand…"

Duckie sighed and stood up as she started pacing the room, making it a point to keep her distance from me. Yeah, she was scared.

"I'm more confused than anything," she said. "I mean, yeah, it's freaky as hell and I'm really tempted to make a run for it but I have a feeling that wouldn't do me a lot of good since apparently you guys are fast…"

I was about to talk but she picked back up before I could.

"And lets not forget to mention I am a crappy ass runner! I failed P.E.! Who fails P.E.!"

"Duckie-"

"I just need time, okay?" she interrupted, shooting me a glance. "Just give me some space and then you can tell me all there is to know about…you guys. Right now I just need some sleep."

I nodded slowly, understanding her point of view completely. If I had found out what she had, I would've probably never wanted to wake up again from the nightmare. She was my best friend; and she could take all the time she needed.

I went downstairs and tried to find something on TV. There were reruns of Saved By The Bell, and immediately I remembered Roberto's cell phone which looked like it belonged to Zack Morris. I instantly took it off and decided to go for a run to see what my other best friend or former best friend was up to. I didn't hear anything from upstairs, so I figured Duckie was sound asleep by now or pretending to be. I didn't hear any crying so I took that as a good sign; or maybe I was just hoping.

Putting on my hat and shoes, I sprinted out of the house, making sure to lock the door in the process. I was being paranoid, I know. I also knew that no little door lock could keep out vampires; but it was the best I could do. If Demitri was still around-

_You're going to drive yourself crazy worrying like that. Just go find Jake and shut up._

Good idea.

Running had always been like second nature to me. Sometimes I went so fast it felt like I was flying through the forest, watching as numerous shades of green and brown zoomed by me. I inhaled deeply though my nose, taking in the scent of pine and other smells that always comforted me. The ground was damp from the rain earlier, and my feet left light footprints in the mud as I ran. I could smell the moisture that still lingered in the air. It was calming and it made me feel safe from everything, if only for a few seconds.

My mind began to drift off to Alec. Was he watching me now? How come I hadn't noticed him before? I should have known; should have recognized his scent. Felix assured me he was gone now, but I could practically feel his eyes on me, watching my every move. I was being paranoid again.

I finally made it to my destination: Jake's house. He still lived with Billy, as he took care of him. The house looked the same as it always had, welcoming and small. It was cozy that way. Billy said I was always welcome, so I didn't think it much of a problem just dropping by. I mean, I'd done it my whole life. I was one of the few vampire beings that had been invited to La Push, considering my status with Jake. I didn't see how now would be any different. We were still friends, even though we weren't on the greatest terms right now.

However, as I walked closer to the house, I couldn't see the front door as it was covered by Leah's ass and Jake's body pressed up against her. I didn't want to see much but it couldn't be helped. Her legs were wrapped around his waist and it was quite obvious they were in dress rehearsal, practicing their moves and I had a front row seat! At first I thought I might've just imagined it, but then I heard Leah's voice.

"Please, Jake…" she moaned, and my eye and ears felt like they were on fire. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Leah Clearwater was begging Jacob for sex, right on the front door! Where the heck was Billy! Did they have no sense of respect? He's going to have a heart attack and die and all because Jake wants to get busy with Leah.

I was about to walk away very slowly when I heard Jake respond, his words catching me off guard.

"Don't leave me." Jake whispered.

"I'm not Nessie." My eyebrows raised at the mention of my name. I was definitely walking in on something I wasn't suppose to see. "It couldn't work out-"

"Yes it could," he protested, "we can make it work."

"Yeah, why? Why should we try?"

"Isn't that sort of obvious?" Jake hissed defensively, staring at her angrily. I heard her scoff and she shook her head.

"You don't think it's worth it."

Okay, I was so out of here. All I had to do was slowly back up and they would never know I was here. Just carefully head back the woods and go home. Easy as pie.

_Slowly….slowly…_

I took a step back, chewing on my lip nervously.

_Slowly…_

"Leah! I love-"

_Crack!_

"Shit." I whispered, as I lifted my foot off the twig which I'd just broke.

I froze, my arms midway in the air and I felt like a robber who had just been caught in the act. It was worse than that, actually. I was like the Roberto of their life, invading their privacy. I mean, was he just about to tell her that he loved her! I was such an idiot. What was I thinking; coming to his house uninvited? I should have called, I should have texted him or something. Billy wasn't aware of their extra curricular actives, so of course he had no problem with me dropping by. But I knew, and I still came! I'm so stupid.

Maybe they didn't hear me. Yeah, maybe they think I'm an animal. An animal in skinny jeans with a horrified expression on her face with a beanie hat to match.

Genius.

I pulled my beanie over my face, hoping they wouldn't recognize me; because I'm smart like that and think that the people who've known me all my life wouldn't catch my scent. See? Just like I said. Genius; sometimes I amaze myself beyond words.

Feeling the pressure of their gazes', I once again started to backtrack in the opposite direction. Of course, that didn't go as planned.

"Nessie, get in the car." I heard Jake call out, or more like demand. I froze and glanced at his Rabbit with an ill expression. That thing still drove?

"Where we going?"

"Out." Jake snapped as he walked towards his car.

I got in the front seat and watched as Leah pulled on his forearm towards her to stop him. I rolled down the window, because apparently I liked eavesdropping on people. What had happened to my life? I had to resort of other people's drama just to have some entertainment. I mean sure, Duckie was fun but this is where it happened. Raw, messed up relationships…my favorite. It made my heart ache actually to see them now unhappy, and all the more curious.

"Don't tell her," Leah tried to whisper. "I don't want her to know."

"You don't exactly have a right on what I do or don't do since you're leaving." Jake retorted, swiftly turning around and opening the car door.

"I'm doing you a favor and you know it!" Leah yelled, and Jake got in the car and slammed the door shut forcefully. I jumped in my seat, afraid he was going to phase right in the front seat. That wouldn't have been safe at all; for me at least.

"Seatbelt," he hissed. I was already one step ahead of him. As I envisioned myself flying out of the window to save myself from fur and canines, I quickly complied.

After a moment of heavy breathing and curses, Jake just turned to stare at me. At first I thought he was going to snap at me, but then his face just lit up into a grin and a chuckle escaped his lips. I cocked an eyebrow at him in confusion, wondering what serious damage Leah had done to his head. He was becoming more bipolar than Alec.

Damn it.

Why does it always hurt? Why couldn't he be one with those ex boyfriends you laugh about? I haven't laughed about him, not at all. That wasn't a good sign of moving on, in fact it was a sign of staying in the exact same place. I didn't want to be in the same place. I was a different person now. I had my head cleared, minus the marijuana, and I was becoming more grownup, I thought.

Yeah right. Me, grown up? This is coming from the same girl who thought she coolly escape just two minutes ago and in the process have ruined an intimate moment between her best friend and his girl. Yeah, still genius.

Starting up the car, Jake glanced at me again and raised his eyebrows.

"You wanna' go for ice cream?"

I smiled, nodding in agreement as he sped down his driveway. That was Jacob, always making me feel like a kid. I didn't mind it though. I could use some time off from all of this adult crap.

"So um…about before at the house…" I mumbled, looking down at my lap. "I really didn't mean to intrude like that. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he shook his head and shrugged. "But I do have a way you can make it up to me."

I narrowed my eyes, becoming scared at the possibilities and all the chores he could come up with. It's not that I was opposed to cleaning but cleaning Jake's things would probably be one of the most dangerous tasks known to man. Who knows what he had stuffed under his bed and in his drawers. I didn't even want to think about it.

"What do you-"

"I need your advice on something," he sighed, his thumb tapping the steering wheel anxiously as he continuely glanced at the rearview mirror.

I raised my eyebrows.

"Oh?"

He nodded and gulped. His hands gripping the stirring wheel tighter then before, his jaw set and tense. The image made me really scared. My heart raced as my mind worked harder to try and figure out what was going on.

"Yeah, it's about Leah…"

I smiled a small smile. I figured as much. Well, if we was wanting some love advice, I really wasn't the right person to, but I'd try my best. For them, even though the mere topic of love being outspoken like this, really did something to me. It made me hurt.

"Why, what's wrong?"

"You see that bag in the backseat? The one with the- yeah that one. Grab it." Jake instructed, and I took the light yellow present bag and sat it on my lap.

It was beautifully decorated, and in no way was this done by Jake. I cocked an eyebrow at him, and as if to read my mind and chuckled.

"Alice."

That explained everything, except who the gift was for and why he was wanting to show me. I stared down at the bag, and he groaned silently.

"I want to know from a…girl's perspective on if this is the right thing to get someone you…really care about." he mumbled awkwardly, staring at the road ahead of us. "If this would show her that all of this means something. Anyways, just look at it. You'll know what I mean when you look."

Okay, now I was confused. What the heck was he talking about? I was almost scared to look inside the bag, but the curiosity got the best of me and I had no choice but to pry it open and peek inside.

My mouth dropped open, and I could feel my scrunch up in confusion.

"Um…Jacob? This is the way to Leah's heart?"

I continued to stare down at the contents in the bag, and then began to pull some of the items out. They consisted of baby bottles, pacifiers, diapers, and a bib that read, "I love Daddy," on the front in orange letters. I coughed and looked up at Jake, who was staring at the road as if to ignore me.

"What's this, Jake?" I asked, motioning to the items on my lap.

He cleared his throat, and I realized we were pulling into Fork's finest. The local diner. I continually stared at him, waiting for an explanation. He wasn't answering, he wasn't even looking at me.

Baby stuff.

Leah.

It was all starting to make sense, only I wish it wouldn't.

_Oh. My. Gosh. _

"Jacob Black…" I hissed through clenched teeth, my hands curling up into fists.

She was pregnant. Leah Clearwater was expecting Jacob Black's spawn.

I didn't know what to think about it. I didn't know weather to be extremely excited or extremely pissed for him not telling before. Then again like I mentioned before, Jake and I hadn't really bonded since my arrival. So it figures he wouldn't tell me, but still I thought we were close enough that'd share this kind of info. But apparently I was wrong. As always.

Before I could say a word to Jacob, he was out of the car walking towards the diner. I followed pursuit.

"Jake! Wait, are you telling me that-"

He turned around, his eyes looking down at his feet. His eyes looked unbelievably depressing, and I bit my lip, trying to grasp everything. I was failing of course. What did this have to do with what Jake and Leah talked about it the house?

What favor did Leah think she was doing? Then I remembered a part of the chat, right after I ruined it.

She was leaving him, and taking his baby with her.

"Jake-"

"I don't know what to do, okay? Is that what you want to hear?" he snapped, looking down at me desperately as he grabbed onto his hair. "Leah is having my babies, Nessie…babies; as in plural! Plural as in more then one, and I don't…I don't know what to do to convince her that I want her to stay, that I want to help. Because this whole thing? It wasn't a part of the plan. You know?"

I nodded, my mind racing.

Wait, did he just say…

"More then one? You mean to tell me that there's going to be a whole liter of Jacob and Leah puppies running around!"

"Hey!"

"Sorry, it's just this is a little much to take in, Jacob. I didn't even know Leah could have kids, much less have yours! I mean….what the heck? Did you not think about using some Trojans?" I snapped, as I paced around the parking lot of the diner. I could see from the corner of my eye a elderly woman was walking by very slowly, looking at Jacob and I with judgmental eyes. As if Trojan was a damn cuss word or something.

Jeez.

Waving her off, I asked the woman if she'd ever heard of a condom. She scoffed at me, and ran like her ass was on fire. I turned back to Jacob, who shook his head disapprovingly.

"Nice, Nessie, really. You know, I wanted your advice, not a whole speech on responsibilities; especially coming from you of all people."

That was it!

I narrowed my eyes at him, and turned around quickly, heading straight for the diner. I was seated as soon as I walked in and I ordered the biggest ass sundae I could, not even thinking to tell them what I did and didn't want on it. In fact I didn't even want a freaking sundae, I just needed something to comfort me.

I wasn't paying for it anyway, and with the day I'd had, I felt like I deserved it.

Once the sundae came, so did Jacob. He didn't speak for a while, which suited me just fine, because after what he said to me, I didn't give a damn. I was perfectly content with just me by myself. I'd been so since I got back home, hadn't I?

I didn't need anyone. I didn't need my family, I didn't need Duckie, and I sure as hell didn't need Jacob telling me how I've been lately and what fail I am at life.

And all this was happening because freaking Alec of the Volturi.

I blame his sorry ass, and if I ever seen him again I'll make sure to tell him so. He did this to me, he ruined everything and I wasn't going to just sit around and sob anymore nor getting high. I'm going to move on and get over this shit because I don't like how I'm becoming because of him.

He can just go to hell for having this much control over me. I was done.

"Leah's wanting to leave." Jacob whispered as he grabbed a spoon, trying to take a bite out of my ice cream.

I slapped his hand away and glared.

"Pity," I said, raising my eyebrow. "You sure you want my advice? Seeing as how you've made it perfectly clear-"

"I love her." He said, his eyes focusing in on mine. I looked down at the cherry on top of my ice cream, not knowing where else to keep my eyes. I didn't want to look at him. Hearing those words coming from Jacob, sent mixed feelings.

Longing, bitterness, excitement.

All because I could relate to loving someone and not knowing what to do about it. 'Cause even if I decided to move on, I haven't moved on yet. Right now? I still freaking loved Alec and I hated myself because of it. It was going to take forever to move on from him wasn't it?

Well, if forever is what it takes…

"Why is she leaving you?"

"She's not leaving me per say, just Forks to get away from…" he trailed off and motioned towards me and him. I bite my lip and rolled my eyes.

He didn't need to continue on with the sentence. I knew exactly why Leah wanted to get away. It was the same reason I did.

Stupid imprinting.

"She thinks there's a chance, our feelings would change. I told her it wouldn't, but apparently-"

"Have you told her you loved her?"

He shook his head, and out of instinct, I reached over and slapped him, clear across the face. It hurt my hand like hell and his face whipped across the side. I was actually proud of myself for having some effect on him. I was also extremely shocked. Did I just slap Jacob in the face? Over Leah? I waited a moment to see if he'd say anything, he didn't. instead he was- he was laughing about it?

_Okay…?_

What is with guys and their emotional damage? I swear I think they're worse then girls sometimes! Holy crap!

"Jake!"

"I mean I did- well, sort of!"

"Sort of?" I shrieked, shaking my head. "How the hell do you sort of tell someone you love them?"

"She didn't believe me."

"And why not?"

"Because it was…"

"Jacob Black if you finished that sentence with 'during sex,' so help me God I'll…wait. Does Sue know? Seth? _BILLY?" _I yelled, my voice echoing across the diner, which was causing people to glance up from their meals and look in our direction. I turned and glared at each and everyone of them, practically screaming at them to mind their own business.

As sad as it is to say, even though I was nice to my family during this whole ordeal of my life, I was however a bitch to everyone else of Forks, especially to the people from the diner.

_Noisy hags._

Everyone knew things in Forks because of these people here. There was no secrets.

Well, none except the Vampires roaming around, but apparently that was harder to keep then I realized, considering I couldn't even keep it. And here I thought I was a pro.

Jacob and I talked for what felt like hours about the subject. I told him how he could keep Leah around and he apologized for earlier outburst. I didn't forgive him completely but the apology did help. Jacob told me that I was the only one who knew anything besides my father, and Seth, though Seth knew nothing of the twins, whose type and sex were still unknown. Seth had been so caught up living in Seattle that I haven't even got a chance to talk to him on the phone. Not that I was up for phone chats of course, and my father?

My father knew everything because of his gift; as usual.

I was actually impressed by Jacob and Leah keeping this on the down low. He told me that they were planning on telling their parents, but Leah's got plans of her own apparently.

"She loves you, you just say the words and she'll be planning the babies names with you like that." I said, snapping my fingers. I ordered me a root beer float and gave Jacob my not so wanted sundae. He took it without complaint and laughed, his eyes suddenly looking at me with sadness. It made me uneasy.

"I missed you."

I nodded.

"Likewise."

"So, we good now? No untold secrets I need to know about?"

I froze and shook my head. My inner thoughts screamed at me for not telling him about earlier, but I knew what would happen if I did.

He'd call my family, and I couldn't have that happen. So it's been decided.

I wasn't gonna' say a word. Felix and Demitri were on their way back to Italy. And Alec? I didn't care anymore. So long as he was safe, I didn't care.

"I'm not gonna lie, Jake. I hurt."

He nodded, understanding all well how it is to hurt over someone. The only reason he stopped hurting was because he Imprinted on me, but then I turned around and hurt him just the same. I didn't feel too much guilt over it anymore though. He was with Leah, and from what I remember she fixed him once. She can do it again, apparently making him a daddy in the process. The thought made me kind of excited now that it shock wore off. I just hoped Billy and Sue wouldn't freak out. They're still wanting on me to declare my undying love for Jacob. So I knew this news was going to make them flip their biscuits.

"You know, I didn't want to be right about the-"

"I don't need Alec of the Volturi to make me happy, Jake." I declared, taking a glup of my root beet float and looked back up to Jake. "I'm starting a new life. From now on, he'll just be a memory."

Just a long, miserable memory.

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**W/N: An update so soon? *gasp* We know, shocking right? LOL. Hope you liked it! Tell us what you think of the new developments! And check out our profile for more Duckie/Nez and...Jake outfits? haha. Love you guys! Until next time**

**~IITM**

**PS: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HELPED US OUT WITH THE PROBLEM WE HAD THE OTHER DAY! You know who you are!**


	24. Chapter 24: Loosened Ropes

**A message from Felix: "Hello, readers and Felix lovers. It has come to my attention that this needed to be said: Don't steal the story, bitch. If you do, I'll hunt you down and bite you. Really hard. I know that actually sounds quite pleasurable but it's not. Unless you're Duckie. She likes it kinky. Peace!"**

******~IITM~**

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**Chapter 24: Loosened Ropes**

**Alec's POV**

_December 4th, 2013_

I stared at the round clock that hung on the ill pattered wall. I hadn't blinked in an hour, nor had I taken a breath or moved. All I could do was stare at the clock.

_Tick, tick…_

I watched the narrow second hand as it ever so slowly danced across the dial. Each second that passed, I grew more anxious. It was 11:55 in the evening, and only five more awful minutes to go until it would be three months. In a matter of minutes, I'd finally be setting out on something I'd secretly always wanted to do. I was going to get my freedom. I was going to be free.

And being free, gave me the right to be entitled to do whatever the hell I wanted; to go wherever I wanted, to love anybody I wanted.

I still loved Renesmee. I needed her. I needed her so bad it caused me discomfort. I didn't need air in my lungs, I hadn't in a long time, but she was some form of oxygen to me. She was a form of life that I desperately required. These short months not being near her were the most excruciating I can ever recall living through. I thought that being a newborn was hard? Try going to Forks and watching her from afar in the distance; that was hard.

Yes, I broke my promise to Felix, but it wasn't entirely all my doing. Adeline wanted to know what she was risking her life for, and after putting up a terrible fight, I relented. The truth was, I wanted to see her also. It was very selfish and dangerous of me to do so, but I couldn't pass up the chance to just look at her.

Before arriving in Washington, I warned Adeline not to draw an ounce of attention to us. Actually, I threatened her, but I got the point across. I had gotten word from Felix, whom I was secretly talking to, that the Cullens were traveling of some sort, since he had been keeping in contact with Nez. It perturbed me that they would leave her by herself; vulnerable. Were they not worried she'd get into some kind of trouble? I suppose they left her the watchdog to keep an eye on her, not that she needed to be watched over in the first place. She was just as much as an adult than the rest of them, and it angered me to think that they were probably still treating her like a child.

As I continued to stare at the round shape on the wall, my mind began to wander back to the moment I saw Renesmee in her home, or spied on her, right under her nose.

_The sun was setting, but there were no lively colors to paint the sky, as it was covered with grey clouds. I forgot how green and alive this place was. I could hear the stir of insects, the chirping of crickets, the calm rustling noises the leaves and trees made when a cold breeze passed by. I closed my eyes momentarily and titled my head back, inhaling the environment she acquired. No place had even smelled so charming before. I was so caught up in my own mind that I had completely forgotten about the presence perching right next to me. I pretended Adeline wasn't there, and watched for Renesmee. I had a perfect view of her house from where I was sitting in the enormous tree. I lowered myself on the thick branch, not daring to make any sudden movements or noises that would alert Nez. I was far away, but she was extremely observant and I wouldn't have doubted it if she caught me. My body tensed at the thought._

_I stared at the large window that had no curtains to shield the inside of the house. From where I was squatting, I could see a glossy hardwood floor and elegant furniture that dressed up the large sitting room that was lit by a couple of lamps. I waited anxiously for her figure to come into view. I knew she was inside, because I could hear her sighing in frustration. I clenched onto the branch beneath me, fighting back the instinct that said to run in there and wrap her in my arms. I wanted to hold her so badly, to feel her warmth take me in whole, to feel her heartbeat against my chest. _

_I sucked in a breath when she finally invaded my vision. For a moment, I wondered if I was actually dreaming all of this, if she was actually right _there. _It felt like a thousand years since I'd last seen her, and to be honest, she didn't look anything like the naïve, stupid, beautiful Renesmee I saw walk into the alley that night in August. No, this was someone different, this was a deformed version of the free spirit she was before I ruined her._

_You could see plain as day she was unhappy. Her eyes had lost all sense of life, those magic brown eyes that resembled pools of rich melted chocolate were now empty. She looked exhausted too, with dark circles under her hollow eyes. Had she not gotten much sleep? My mind raced through all of the possibilities, all the things she was doing with her time. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I got my answer of what it was that she did most of the time when she was by herself._

_She cried._

_Watching her pace back and fourth around the sitting room, I could see her chest start to rapidly heave up and down as she gripped onto her bronze ringlets. She was trying to compose herself, to stop herself from giving into her agony. She was failing. I was too, failing at keeping my own composure. I was in every bit as much anguish as ever seeing her so miserable. Her tears stung me, tore into me like claws. I did this to her, I was the cause of all this sadness._

_I was so angry, so angry at this world for being so cruel and unjust. The worst part was, I was one of the many reasons that this world was defined as brutal. I've ripped necks and families out alike, I'd done things no person should ever have to go through. I used my past as my ticket to be inhumane to other people because I thought they deserved whatever they got. It was strange, like every horrible thing I'd ever done resurfaced with what I did to Renesmee, because I had never hurt anyone I loved. I had never really loved anybody. And to break someone who put your own pieces back together? _

_That was indefensible._

_I was indefensible. Whatever I had coming, I deserved it. If I thought it was best, I would leave her alone forever and never poison her presence again. But I had to fix it, I owed her that much. No one else could do it; it had to be me, because obviously her family wasn't doing such a swell job at making her happy again._

_Nez sighed again, wiping her tear stained face with the back of her hand. She shook her head, obviously ashamed of herself for crying. It wasn't her shame to possess, it was mine._

_The magnetic force that was pulling me to her was strong, and I to constrict my muscles from moving towards her. I knew that if I barged in there now, it would ruin everything._

_Oh, but I wanted to._

_I wanted to comfort her so badly, to beg her again for forgiveness. I would do anything for it; outer space wasn't even the limit. I would give her anything, anything she wanted. I would gravel at her feet, make an idiot out of myself, babble like a lovesick teenager, wear average looking clothes, cut my hair, change my vocabulary, feed on animals, never take a sip of human blood again for her. I would change everything about me to please her. _

_But I knew right now, nothing would be enough to calm the waters I'd stirred up inside her. The only thing I could do to convince her how much I loved her was to get out of the Volturi once and for all. If anything was going to work, it would be that._

_My heart crumbled when she walked out of the room and out of my sight, and that same cold feeling crept up inside me._

_I was barley aware of Adeline beside me, and after muttering something irrelevant under her breath, she jumped down the tree and disappeared into the trees._

_I sighed and stared at the house._

"_La vedrò presto abbastanza, la mia perla…" I whispered, blowing a kiss to the unknowing beauty that stood inside. "Soon."_

By now I was pacing around the hotel room with my eyes still firmly glued to the clock. Each second was turning into an hour in my mind, and 12:00 AM couldn't get here soon enough. Time wasn't on my side, apparently.

I kept running my hands through my hair, trying to distract myself from my anxiety. It wasn't going over too well, though. Every time I caught my mind drifting off, I pictured Nez, and then I remembered that today was the day and it will only be a matter of hours before I see her again. Whether she wanted to see me or not. I was coming.

"You look tense Relax, Alexander, you're making me nervous." Addie called, as she sat her ass on the couch, the remote in hand. Her eyes were glued to what looked like some game show called '_Family Feud.' _It held no interest to me.

"You know what today is, Adeline," I replied through clenched teeth, "don't act like I don't have a reason for being tense."

The vampire chuckled as she shook her head, annoying me in the process just like every other day. I _will rejoice on the day we part ways, I swear it!_

It was moments like this, that I realized how grateful I truly am for death, because even the very sound of her voice irked me now. It was like nails on a chalkboard; the very tone made my ears bleed. It also made me extremely grateful for not marrying her all those years ago. Don't get me wrong, I loved her then and I was still bitter about her having spread my secret to others, but in a weird twisted way, I felt like she did me a favor in the long run. We were never meant to be together. It's nice to finally realize it after hundreds of years. Not that I questioned it with Nez on my mind and all.

For the past three months Addie has been nothing but helpful in her own way.

She had officially grew to be like the sibling I never asked for, the kind that never went away and wanted to sleep with me.

…_Hopefully there isn't too many siblings that that. _

Yeah, just thinking about it made me want to dash out the room, however I never did. Because the truth is, if I went out that room into the real world alone now, I'd be a dead man within a hour tops.

Felix and Demetri were on a mission to find me from the moment I didn't return, as I knew they would. And we've had our fair share of close calls, but lucky for me I had Addie, with the power of compulsion.

It wasn't the best gift in the world, especially comparing it to my own but it came in handy when coming face to face with ex family members. Her power mixed in with my power made one hell of a punch. She's tried to use the crap on me countless times to see if I'd sleep with her, but it didn't work for some reason. My theory?

Nez.

She and I both knew that I was in love with Renesmee, and her powers, like Chelsea's power, doesn't work on people who are in love. Addie on a daily basis says it's a real bitch not being able to compel me, where as me? I laugh.

She's shared her desires with me very openly in the past. On more then one occasion, I had to use my ability to show I didn't need that sort of help, not from her anyways.

The next day, she'd laugh and say it was my loss, though I knew my declines had hurt her feelings some. What amazes me though is how after all these years, and after everything we've done to each other she still wanted me. She claims I was the one who got away. Like that was some excuse or something.

Ha.

Still, Renesmee was in my bloodstream, so to speak, and she was the only woman I would never want in that way. That kind off pissed Adeline off a bit but she understood like I knew she would. Deep down however, I think she was still sore that I didn't give in to her once during our whole interaction.

"Yes, yes. Renes-Whatever." she muttered, still looking at the television. "Got it. But why do you always have to do things the hard way? You can take the easy route, you know." Her voice perked up at the last sentence, sounding more chipper than normal. I quirked my eyebrow at her and sighed.

"Do tell me, Adeline dearest. Where is this easy route you speak of? Because I sure as hell don't see it." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

_Not since I met you anyways._

Addie smirked, with a evil glint in her eyes. She then proceeded to openly spread her legs, wide and welcome for invitation. It didn't take a genius to figure out the route she was referring to.

I rolled my eyes and looked back to the clock.

What's strange over this whole thing is that I grew completely use to it by now; her not so settle hints at seduction. All Nez would have to do is tuck her hair behind her ear and I'd be hard. But with Addie? My dick didn't even flinch.

Aside from the games, however, Adeline talked a lot. Or rather planned.

I told her what she needed to know about the situation, who we could count on and who we couldn't, what their weak spot was and who we needed to worry about. Jane being on top of that list.

Adeline and I didn't talk about Jane much. She knew it was a touchy subject, one that I didn't want to get into. My sister didn't cross my mind a lot while on my quest for freedom but I'm sure somewhere in the back of Addie's mind Jane was always there. I could tell every time I said her name, Addie would stiffen and a part of her was deathly afraid for her life when the time comes face to face with her old friend.

Hell, I scared for the girl.

But that didn't change the importance of our purpose. And I was going to get what I wanted. I was going to get my girl back. Or I'll happily die trying. Whether she knew it or not I was going to get something out of the deal. I couldn't do all this planning and waiting for nothing after all. That just wouldn't be right.

"We've been over this, Ad-"

"Yeah, I got it." she interrupted. "Still, it's been three long months, you can't blame me for trying, I mean, I may not be as pretty as the Cullen girl, or as spunky but back in our day you couldn't keep your hands off me, as I recall.""Yes, and it got me burnt to a crisp. I'm a fast learner. Trust me."

Adeline scoffed and stood up from the couch, groaning as she went, her frustration spiking on to a high. She hated when I brought that up, which is why I made a point to do so every chance I got.

Within a second she was in my face. Her nose brushed my cheek slightly as I turned my face. Her scent invaded my head, and I held my breath to prevent taking in more of it. Her scent wasn't unpleasant, there was just something about it that I didn't quite care for.

"You're very determined to get her, Alexander, especially considering what you put her through. If I was her-""You're not. And I'd appreciate it if you keep your thoughts on _that_ subject to yourself." I snarled, gripping her wrists in my hands and pushing her away me. Addie shrugged, and gave me a innocent smile. I quickly turned to look at the clock and kept like a child on the eve before his birthday or Christmas.

12:00AM.

"Lets go!" I said excitedly, grabbing onto her arm and pulling her though the hotel door. Addie pulled back, making me stop all together.

"Can't we have a midnight snack or something first?""No.""Well, damn-wait! Alexander, I know I said I would help you but-"

I turned around and glared, my body responding before I could even process a thought.

I closed in on her, shoving her shoulder into the doorframe.

"_But_ _what_?" I asked very sharply, making it clear that I wasn't in the mood to play a game. If she was bailing on me now, so help me…

_You're a fool for actually considering bringing her back into your life, no matter the circumstance. Once a conniving snake, always a conniving snake. _I thought to myself, clenching my hands into tight fists. It was a good thing I didn't have any objects in them, because they'd have been dust.

I was about to start wringing Adeline's neck when she saved herself by talking.

"I'm…scared." she admitted, looking down at the ground. My brows furrowed in confusion, and I sighed loudly in impatience and annoyance.

"What do you mean you're scared?"

"I mean I'm scared of facing her!" she snapped, looking back up at me. Fear was definitely present in her eyes. My hands slightly unclenched. She meant Jane.

I knew it.

"I mean, getting you to stall when you were intent on killing me was one thing, but Jane? She was never forgiving. The second the sees me, I'm toast."

I nodded, not pretending to disagree with her. Indeed, Jane would be furious, and I couldn't guarantee Adeline's utmost safety.

Adeline's eyes widened in fear at my agreement, and I rolled mine.

"I can't control my sister's actions, Adeline. You should have considered this from the start. What, did you think we would take a stroll in Volterra and you wouldn't run into problems of your own?" I questioned, shaking my head. "Like I warned you before: Your ass is on the line just as much as mine is."

She sighed and nodded softly. "I know…"

I stepped back from her and readjusted the bag on my shoulder. I looked over the balcony from the second floor we stood on, watching Milan, Italy from a distance, with the twinkling lights from the cars and buildings. Snow fell from the dark sky, and a dull, cold wind blew past, ruffling up my hair. We had just arrived back in Italy yesterday, prolonging the arrival as long as possible, not wanting to get too close to the Volturi until it was time.

The time was now, and I couldn't stand another second of waiting.

"Adeline, I can't promise anything at this point. If you want to come with me, you're more than welcome to. If you want to bail, fine. It wont bruise my feelings, trust me. I'm immune to it by now." I said, and she looked down again, obviously ashamed. "I'm leaving now, so, it's your choice, I guess."

I shrugged, turned around and started walking in opposite direction and down the stairs. Before I even made it out of the damn parking lot she was at my side again, looking straight ahead.

I glanced at her and cocked an eyebrow, not breaking pace.

"When you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose." she said, smirking softly. "Besides, if I die, you'll always remember me as the courageous woman at your side, fighting till the end…"

I snorted and shook my head. "You just keep thinking that, then."

We didn't converse anymore after that. We just ran. Along the way, I kept thinking about how I was going to do this. How was I going to make Aro let me go? I'd do things the old fashioned way: I'd request a trial.

Addie kept talking about this as some sort of battle I'd need to physically conquer in order to succeed. I disagreed. There was no possible way I would walk away alive after trying to fight them. I was one person; one vampire. It was completely unheard and unrealistic. This was the Volturi we were talking about here. I couldn't just numb all hundred of them at once, I wasn't that good.

No, all criminals had their right to be put on trial. We'd done it many times, and this was no exception. The only thing I was guilty of was falling for a Cullen and not succeeding in my task to convince her to join. Oh, and I left without permission for three months, which I still didn't understand why I did. But it was refreshing. I got the learn about the outside world for once. Not that it had been so easy.

Demitri had been tracking me, I knew this. I also had been very close to being caught. The thing that saved us was that me and Adeline never stayed in one location longer than two days. We traveled all over Europe, and not once did I enjoy myself or my company. Although I had to admit, Adeline did amuse me some, and she kept me from going completely insane. She reminded me of my mission, this mission.

It was finally my time to do something for my own damn self. Better late than never, I suppose.

I don't know how long it took us to get to Volterra. On foot we were fast, so I'd estimate maybe about two hours? It didn't really matter. All that mattered now was going in there and finishing this.

"Ready or not, bitches, here I come…" I muttered under my breath, and I sensed Adeline's amused smile beside me.

"Well put," she commented.

"Yeah, I try."

We walked through the empty streets with only the streetlamps to light our path or I walked and she followed. It was evident she didn't know where she hell she was going. The atmosphere was thick with tension, it was as if they were waiting for me.

"So this is where you've been hiding all these years?" Adeline asked. I nodded as she looked around. "I don't know how I missed it. This place is a walking tourist attraction."

"Lower your voice, please…" I whispered, "we're not alone."

Adeline tensed beside me, and I felt her hand grab onto my sleeve.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're in the city in which the Volturi resides. Need I say more?" I hissed, looking over at her.

She shook her head vigorously, and I put my forefinger to my lips to indicate for her to shut the hell up for once in her life. She listened, this time. It was a miracle.

When we reached the alley that lead to the entrance, I stopped for a moment and listened to make sure no one was too close by. No one was. They were all underground, and the second I popped down there, they would know. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they already knew I was here. The Volturi had eyes and ears practically everywhere.

"Remember," I whispered in a warning tone, "leave the talking to _me. _Don't do anything unless I instruct you to. Understand?"

Adeline held up her thumb and winked to let me know she got the memo on the no talking bit. Perhaps there was something living in her scull after all.

I jerked my head forward and started making my way through the nearly pitch black alley. Behind me, I could hear Adeline's hesitant footsteps follow me as the alley narrowed in width. And when I stopped at the end of the alley where I met a brick wall, she stopped beside me with a puzzled look on her face.

"What…do you have to do some sort of spell to unlock the bricks to open like in Harry Potter? I'll get my wand." she said sarcastically.

I glared at her. Not only was she making unnecessary noise, she was talking about that damn phenomenon _Harry Potter _again. She talked about it nonstop. Was it not enough for her that she was a vampire? She had to explore the fictions of witches and wizards and whatnot?

Rolling my eyes, I pointed downward. Her eyes followed to the drain in the ground, and her confused grimace deepened. I reached down and slid aside the grate and without a hesitation, I jumped down into the darkness. As soon as my feet touched the ground below, I heard her groan in protest.

"You've got to be kidding me."

I didn't bother waiting for her, I just started stomping ahead. She of course caught up, but not before huffing in frustration.

I bit back the temptation to snap at her, as I had other important things to be worrying about at the moment. I walked ahead of her, trying to get some distance between us. I was trying to escape her, really. I had been counting on her staying above ground, it'd be so much simpler not to have her tagging along. But, she got me this far, and I couldn't deny her to see the big finale.

It was when the second grate came into view that I saw a large figure standing in front of it with his arms folded over his chest. At first, out of instinct, my body tensed as I waited for anything that came at me, but once I realized it was Felix, I relaxed. To say he didn't look happy with me would be an understatement. In fact, he looked more than pissed. He looked exhausted. I felt a twinge of guilt, knowing that was partially my fault, but I didn't ask for him to go searching around the globe for me.

Felix sighed heavily and shook his head. "Al, if I had the energy to kick your ass right now, you can bet on hell itself I would in a heartbeat."

I chuckled. "Haven't you been feeding, Felix?"

"Kid, I don't have the damn time to feed anymore. It's all work and no play around here. Thanks for that, by the way." said Felix with a fake smile.

"You're welcome," I replied with my own smile. Felix rolled his eyes and his smile turned genuine. He could never stay mad for too long, it wasn't in his nature.

"What the hell are you doing here, Alec?" he asked. "Unless you have a death wish-"

"C'mon, Felix. You know why I'm here." I interrupted, knowing good and well he knew.

His expression turned grave. "You really think you can just go in there and get your freedom like a high school diploma? It doesn't work that way. I mean- who the hell is this?"

Felix had the misfortunate pleasure of setting eyes on Adeline for the first time, who stood to my left. She must have finally caught up with me. Felix was looking back and fourth between the two of us, suspicions in his eyes. I knew what it looked like, and I knew what he was thinking.

"Felix, this is-"

"Adeline." she cut in quickly, extending her hand towards Felix. "I'm a good friend of Alexander's."

Felix glared at me as he took her hand, shaking it lightly. "Alexander?" he chuckled, letting go of her hand and walked over to put his arm around my shoulder. "Alexander, what exactly have you been doing with your time lately?"

Why did I allow her to come? She was causing nothing more than distractions and problems. I was on the assignment of my lifetime and here I was having a social gathering. If Felix honestly thought I'd lower my standards from Nez to Addie so quick, that was his own problem for being such a moron. If he didn't get that I was going through all of this for Nez in the first place, he was an even bigger moron than I ever imagined him to be. I didn't have time for this.

"I'll explain it later," I said. "Right now, I need you to take me inside."

"What, you want me to escort you?"

"No, you buffoon. I want you to take me in there as a prisoner; to Aro." I snapped impatiently, watching the wheels slowly turn in his thick scull.

"I see…" he sighed, pursing his lips as if he was contemplating his actions. "Alright then. I think this is a really stupid idea, but who the hell am I to talk about stupid ideas? This way, milady."

And with that, he grabbed onto my arm roughly and started dragging me into the Volturi's layer as if I was a prisoner. He didn't half ass it either, he was certainly harsh with his movements. I didn't realize Felix had so much potential to be an actor until now. He was giving an award winning performance, because my arm was starting to hurt under his extremely tight grip.

"Wait for me!" I heard Adeline cry from behind. We both ignored her.

"I talked to her, you know." Felix said silently, not bothering to look at me while he continued to walk. I knew right away he was referring to Renesmee, and my heart dropped at once at the mention of her. The jealously of him actually conversing with her was agonizing. I instantly went into creepy, stalker ex boyfriend mode.

"What did she say?" I asked immediately in a desperate tone. Adeline sniggered from behind, I again ignored her.

"You really did a number on her, Alec." he sighed, not giving me anymore answers. My teeth clenched angrily. As if I didn't know that already.

_Thanks for pointing out the obvious, buddy._

I would've pressed him for more information, but I couldn't as we were entering the lair. I was welcomed by the familiar scent, the familiar faces, and the familiar voices. I didn't pay attention to any of them. All I could see was the door to the room in which Aro sat on his throne.

This is it.

I couldn't really believe what I was about to do, but I was doing it. There was no turning back now. No second thoughts. I could very well die tonight, but I knew the chances were on my side. I had to take this chance, if I didn't, I would never have a hope of getting Renesmee. I would never have a hope of being free of this coven. Three hundred and fifty-some years trapped here, and I was at last I was unbinding myself.

Felix and I stopped at the double doors. I stood like a statue. Nothing would be able to distract me now.

"By the way, I have a message from Nez." Felix whispered.

Perfect timing. I was most definitely distracted. Before I had a chance to ask him, he took a tighter hold on my arm and swung open the door with the other.

"Be careful." he muttered, as he stepped into the large throne room.

If there were any traces of fear inside of me, they instantly evaporated at _her _words. They fed the fire within me; inspired me. Two words, two simple, little words that came out of the mouth of Felix made me feel all the more confident. If she really told him to tell me that, that must have meant she cared. She must have cared a smidge, even if she didn't want to admit it. And that was all the reason I needed to do what I was about to do. Something inside of me lit up. I felt hope, I felt stronger than I ever had. If I could produce adrenaline, it would have been pumping through my body. I knew for sure now that whatever happened tonight, it would not be in vain.

I could hear the words, forming at her beautifully curved lips, her harmonic voice ringing out.

_Be careful._

I smiled softly. Looking around the giant room full of powerfully gifted vampires, I possessed no fear in the presence of them. I stared at Aro, I saw the anger and rule in his eyes. He was law; the judge. This was my trial. I had no attorneys to defend my name and my innocence. I had no innocence, though. I left willingly knowing there could be a serious hazard coming out of my actions. Ignoring Marcus' warning was very unwise, but this was worth it. So very, very worth it. This was my trial; and so help me, I was going to win this bitch.

Game on.

"My dear boy," hummed Aro in his usual monotone, clasping his hands together, "I must admit, I am quite…appalled."

I cocked an eyebrow suggestively. "How do you figure?"

"Pardon me for not being specific enough to your liking, child. Let me try again," Aro said in a polite and patient voice. "you left in such a haste, I was rather worried…"

I smiled again. Aro, worried about my well being? That was a joke.

"I'm terribly sorry to put you in such an inconvenience, Aro. I was simply so distraught over the whole ordeal with Renesmee that I had to take a leave; to think. Certainly you could comprehend what it feels like to be stabbed in the back by your own family…oh wait. No, I'm mistaken. You're the backstabber in all cases, aren't you?"

A dead, thick and dangerous wave of silence draped the room like a cloth. I could feel the tension rising from the surface. Aro continued to focus on my face, his own growing angry. I glanced about the room, amused at how everyone was so tense. Among the guards who were ready to jump at me, I noticed Jane staring at me with a horrified expression on her doll like face. She could not believe I had said what I had just said. I winked at her, as if to give her a warning that the rude comments were just an appetizer. Her features hardened, and her nostrils flared.

"Kill him…" Aro said softly with a snap of his fingers, and within a blink I could feel strong hands on me. I didn't know to whom they belonged, I didn't really care. All I could hear was the terrified voice that screamed out in protest.

"NO!"

My head jerked to the voice I knew to be Jane's. She had her arm reached out desperately towards me, glancing between Aro and I. She looked frantic, more scared than I had seen her in a very long time. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She went from so cold to desperate in a matter of seconds. I felt like I had whiplash. Something tugged at my heart seeing her filled with so much emotion. Looking at her now, I could almost see the blue eyed girl who use to cry when seeing a beautiful sunrise. Jane used to be so emotional, very tender hearted. I think that's why she was so cold now, because she thought if she ever dared letting anyone in, she would be hurt again. I could sympathize with that feeling, because it's exactly how I'd always felt. My twin and I weren't really that different in the long run. We were one and the same. And even though a part of me was still angry with her for being so cruel before, I couldn't help but care. She was my sister, my other half, my blood. We were kindred spirits.

"He must have had a reason for not returning," she said between gasps, obviously trying to inhale air she didn't need. "You had a reason, right, Alec?"

"Because if I had shown up sooner I'd be dead the second I stepped in here." I replied, prying my eyes away from Jane and to Aro, who smirked.

"That's not true, boy. If you had arrived in November like Marcus instructed you to, we would have spared your life. But, I grew impatient and annoyed. I knew Felix was purposely trying to keep you away, and how Demitri was doing a obviously dreadful job at retrieving you. But I decided to let things take their course on their own. I knew you'd return in your own time. And here you are, as stupid as ever."

Now that he said that, I was beginning to realize that waiting three months was a really idiotic idea. Why did I? To take them by surprise? They didn't look very surprised to me.

That's when I realized that Adeline hadn't suggested such a moronic idea for them, but for herself. She thought if she had three months with me, we'd bond and she'd be able to take me back.

_I'm going to rip her head off._

She didn't make things better, she made them worse!

While thinking of the many ways I could end her life, suddenly at the corner of my eye I was Jane kneeling before Aro, Marcus and Caius, her head lowered and her voice just above a whisper. It was something I never thought I'd live long enough to witness.

"I wish for his punishment to be brought upon me, and that my brother be unbound."

Aro froze, looking down at my sister with awe in his eyes at her sacrifice. I, myself, was also in awe, followed by horror.

"You'll do no such thing!" I hissed, breaking loose from the guards' grip on me, walking over to her to take her wrist in my hand.

"Precisely," followed Aro, "my dear, there is no need for your death on this matter. It is not your punishment to take on."

"Actually, it is." said Jane, and I glanced at her, completely lost at her statement. "Lets face it, if I hadn't humiliated my brother and Renesmee's relationship, he wouldn't have ran away. And I could have found him myself if I wanted to, but I chose not to."

_Did she just call Renesmee by her real name?_

It had indeed been a long three months for both of us. Not only had I changed, but my sister was expressing symptoms of a split personality disorder. But was it all sincere? Could I really trust my sister to be this kind to me, to put her life on the line for me?

"_I cannot understand why it is so necessary to study Latin! We're in Italy!" Jane protested, as she scribbled across her parchment. The tutor had just left the room, giving us freedom to study without the watchful eye of the dreadful woman who smelled of horse dung. _

_Jane was always a restless student, never wanting to study. But today she was even more resistant, and I knew exactly why._

"_Stop procrastinating. I told you, after we are done with Latin I am going to visit Adeline."_

_Jane scoffed, sticking her nose in the air as she walked across the room over the piano where she began to play a dreadful tune. She was horrible at playing any sort of music, actually we both were. There wasn't a musical gene in our bodies, but that didn't stop us from enjoying the amusement of trying._

"_I thought we were going to play cards," she protested as she continued to play, acting all sophisticated as she did so. _

"_It's a child's game. Besides, Adeline and I are now betrothed. I don't have time for cards."_

"_Ever since father announced that you have been nothing but vain. You think yourself so much better than everyone else because you're betrothed. So what? I could get engaged. Then what?"_

"_No one in their right mind would want to marry you." I teased. Jane gaped at me with her mouth hung open, to which I laughed at. _

"_Take that back!"_

"_Never! You'll probably die an old maid!" I chuckled as she began to chase me around the room, her long, blonde hair bouncing as she ran. She caught up with me and jumped on my back, pulling my hair. I laughed harder as we fell to the floor._

"_Take it back, _Alexander._" she sang in a mocking tone. She knew I hated my name, everyone knew that. The only person I allowed to do so was Addie, and I was insistent on her changing that habit._

"_You know what I think, Janie?"_

"_That I have a snotty little brother?" _

"_You're TWO minutes older, Jane. It doesn't count!" I protested. She was always telling everybody that she was the oldest, thus she was the wisest. It was aggravating._

"_I think you're scared you're going to lose me." I stated. Jane shook her head quickly, as I nodded. "Then why are you trying to keep me here instead of going to Addie's?"_

"_Because I don't want things to change between us because you're 'in love'" she said the last two words like they were poisoned, scrunching up her nose in disgust._

"_You'll never lose me, sister. As long as you're here for me, I'm here for you."_

_She studied me to make sure I wasn't pulling her leg, and once she realized I was serious she sighed and tilted her head._

"_Always?"_

"_Always."_

Always.

My own words echoed in my head through the fog in my memories, and for some reason a part of me remembered that moment. I realized then that I could trust her, and my instincts told me that she was remembering that moment too. Aside from what we are now, and how many years have passed, we were still the same people deep down.

We were still a team; united.

I'd never wanted to hug my sister more than I did in this moment.

"Perhaps we should hear Alec's side of the story…" Marcus suggested, turning to Aro. "Let him speak his case, if you will."

I swear the man read my mind. He was freaking Edward Cullen himself.

After a moment of contemplating, Aro spoke up, clearing his voice.

"Very well," he said. "What is it you wish to say, Alec, on your behalf?"

"I want to leave the Volturi permanently." I stated boldly, taking a step in front of Jane.

Gasps broke out, and whispers filled the large room.

"Silence!" Aro hissed, holding up his hand. The room quieted immediately, and Aro turned back to me. "Very well then: Why do you think you should be allowed to leave? Why the sudden change of heart?"

I was so glad he asked. It wasn't like I hadn't thought about this speech everyday for the past three months. I had even written it down somewhere, but Adeline threw it away, said it was useless. I was really beginning to think she betrayed my trust.

I took a couple of steps closer to the thrones and cleared my own throat.

"Honestly? I'm growing bored and I'm growing balls all at once. It's a beautiful thing." I heard Felix along with a couple of other people snigger at the comment. Jane elbowed me in the side with a concerned expression on her face, as if to tell me to get serious.

Right. Be serious. I can do that. I think.

How was I going to convince him? Aro was the tiebreaker! Marcus would have my vote, I knew this, and Caius would definitely say I needed to be killed, because that's just his style. But Aro? It all came down to him. It always did. He was the one I needed to convince. But how? If I could bet my life on it, he would vote for my life to end, based on his facial expression. That didn't give me much hope. So, what would? I only had one person to look to for guidance and hope.

_Help me out here, Nez…_

I sighed deeply, and nodded. I just have to keep picturing her.

Here goes nothing.

"I request my freedom because I think I deserve it more than anyone else in this room…besides my sister and Marcus." I started, pacing around the room. "I was turned not because of near death but because of a plan that I had no knowledge of. And while I'm grateful for you saving my life, I wish to have control over it. Everyday for decades, I have been nothing but loyal to you and this coven. I knew nothing else, I had no decision on that. I have never asked any of you for anything, because I was thankful to have a family around me and people that accepted me. But the time has come, and I want to make my own choices with my afterlife. I do not desire harm to this coven, I just want to be left at peace with Renesmee. I will always be in your gratitude for you appointing me to be her guard. Right now I want nothing more than to be in her life, even if she doesn't want me in her own. And if you not allow me to leave, then I suggest you do end my life, because being trapped here? I would be no use to you. That is all."

I looked at the three of them in the eyes and studied their expressions. Aro was the hardest to read, as he usually was. There was a mix of fascination and contemplation in his eyes. I didn't know whether to be thankful for it or scared shitless.

"Please leave us while we decide." Marcus said. I nodded and quickly left the room and into the secretary area.

I leaned my head against the wall as I felt a presence come up beside me. I turned my head to see Addie biting her lower lip.

"So is it a good thing that you're out here or-"

"Three months I spent with you; for what? What purpose did that serve?" I questioned as she shook her head in confusion.

"What're you talking about? It was because we wanted them to be off guard, remember?"

"The Volturi are never off guard, Adeline, that's sort of the whole point of the coven. We're- they're always prepared. You wanted me to wait three months because you thought I'd change my mind about our relationship." I stated, watching as the guilt crept up on her face.

"I uh…" she lowered her eyes to her feet, hiding her shame behind her red locks. "I- okay. I wanted to change your mind- I mean. Agh! There I was, throwing myself at you like a two-dollar hooker, and you still wouldn't do anything! I followed you around for days, Alexander, and the more you resisted, the more I was reminded of how much…" she sighed again, looking up at the ceiling.

"…Yes?"

"I was reminded of how much I still love you," she said, looking at me. "I never meant for anyone to get hurt, I swear. I only told your mother, because I thought she could help…I was stupid, and it cost you, Jane and my family their lives. I just want what we had back, and I know that's impossible, but I don't know how to let go. I don't know how to turn it off…"

I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. She still loved me? After everything that'd happened, after all these years? She had a really messed up way of showing someone that she cared. And somehow, I wasn't all that surprised by this outburst, and deep down I knew why I stayed with her all that time. It was easier to be in denial of the situation at the Volturi, to think that waiting it out would increase my chances, I was really just being a wishful thinker, a lot like her, I suppose. We both had our own agendas.

After a few moments, Addie leaned against the wall next to me, her head tilting sideways to look at me.

"If that was your intention, then why did you want to see Nez?" I asked, extremely curious.

"Because I wanted to know what I was up against," she said with a chuckle, shaking her head. I rolled my eyes as she continued. "I'm not going to be ignorant, Alex. I don't have a shot in hell, I know this. And I'll leave you alone forever, I swear…but before I do, can I have one favor?"

I had to give her this: She really had balls to ask me for a favor at a time like this. I mean, I knew I should've been angry with her. I should have broke her neck. I could have been free by now. I could've already been with Renesmee. But when I looked into her topaz eyes, I didn't see any ounce of regret, because if it had been me in her situation, I'd have done the same thing.

"What favor?"

She pushed herself from the wall and stood in front of me. "A proper farewell. I never got a chance to before…"

"Addie…"

"One kiss. One kiss and I promise I'll never ask for anything ever again. I just need this, I need it to be real. I know it'll mean absolutely nothing to you but…as a charity?"

I chuckled against my better judgment and shook my head. I then pushed myself off the wall and came face to face with her, groaning softly.

She was right. This kiss wouldn't mean anything compared to what it would mean with Renesmee. But Addie had taught me a lot of things during our time together and she deserved this one moment, even if I dreaded. And if I was going to kiss her, I was going to make it as real as possible for her.

Surprised by my initiative at moving towards her, Adeline's back pressed against the cream colored wall.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." I thought out loud, ashamed of myself.

I then proceeded to place my hands on either side of her cheeks, closing my eyes as I leaned into her face. I could hear her breath catch as I neared, allowing my lips to gently touch hers. The only word I could come up with in my head was 'familiar.' I hadn't kissed these lips in over three hundred years, it felt almost like I was looking through a scrapbook of old memories.

Her hands found their way to my hair as her lips moved roughly against mine, deepening the kiss. I couldn't say how long the kiss lasted, or how much I really gave myself to it, but I knew that this was really for her and not for myself. I had no need to intensify it, or turn it into something that it wasn't. I was doing it for her. Because I knew what it felt like to love someone who didn't want you back. I'm fairly certain that Renesmee didn't want me at present, and it hurt. A lot.

I heard Addie moan against my lips, and that's when we heard the doors opening and someone clearing their throat next to us.

We instantly parted, and I stared in horror at the person who came to give me the message of my lifetime.

He stood with a furious expression on his face, and his black eyes blazed with hatred.

"They've made their choice. Are you sure the prize is still worth it?" Felix asked bitterly, glancing at Adeline.

"Felix, it's not what you-"

"Save it. It's not you I'm concerned about, it's the girl across the world who's worried sick about your well being. Maybe I should call Duckie and tell her to give word that Alec is a waste of space and shouldn't be cried over. Because that's what she's doing, Alec, she's crying."

"…What's a Duckie?" I asked, puzzled at his choice of words. Duckie…Duckie…

I don't know any ducks. Why would he call a duck? Are there ducks in Forks? That talked? Not that it mattered! The point is: my ass was grass. If one word of this got to Renesmee, I could kiss any chance of a life with her away.

Even more importantly; Aro made his decision.

My fate had been decided. And once I walked through the double doors and into the throne room, I wasn't one hundred percent sure I would be coming out again.

* * *

**W/N: We know. We suck. Blah blah blah. :D Let's just say that we're having a hard time finding to write. What with school, and jobs, and getting sick and oh! Did we mention Damon Salvatore? O_o Ladies, you can agree with us when we say he is a fine ass distraction! But no worries. We haven't given up on you guys completely!*HUGS* Sorry this chap isn't up to call, but it was a biotch to write! Anyways, you know the drill. **

**3 you guys! **

**~iitm**


	25. Chapter 25: React and Refuse

**A message from Duckie: "A shout out to all my fellow peeps; don't copy this story and make it your own...please. If you do, I'll chop off your balls. If you're a chick and don't have balls, I'll find your boyfriend, screw him, and then I'll chop off _his _balls. If you don't have a boyfriend? I'll give you a sex change and turn you into a dude and laugh at how deformed you look [because let's face it, I'm no doctor]...and then I'll chop off your balls. Ciao!****

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******Chapter 25: React and Refuse **

**Renesmee's POV**

December 7th

_I stand in the middle of the enormous throne room, looking around to find that it's completely empty. Well, completely empty but the smiling boy in front of me. He's astonishing. His teeth are so white that the light bounces of them, and his glowing garnet eyes sparkle with life and happiness. _

_I find myself starting to smile back, because his face is impossible to frown at. I know this boy. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know him; I just don't why I do. His features are so familiar. Why can't I remember?_

"_Come back to me, la mia perla…" the boy says, his grin subsiding into a small smile; almost a smirk. I shake my head in confusion, not understanding the lovely boy's meaning. _

_Even though I don't understand completely, there's a huge part of me that wants to say yes. I don't know why, but there's a force that is almost pushing to towards him. I start walking towards him, but I stop abruptly. My brows furrow in confusion as I try to reach out towards him, but there's an invisible wall preventing me from touching him. I try to call out to him, but it seems as though he can't hear me. _

_I grow desperate for him, trying with all my might to break through the shield, but it never gives. My eyes start to swell with tears from frustration. I just want to touch him._

_Why can't I touch him? Why can't I reach him?_

_Just then, a dark figure appears behind the boy, a tall, hooded figure which I can't make out. My eyes widen in fear, in fear for the lovely boy who is completely unaware of what's behind him. I try warning him, pointing my finger out frantically. The boy doesn't turn around; he just stares at me with a puzzled expression on his face, wondering why I'm so upset. _

_The hooded figure lifts his head, and I can catch a glance of his shadowy features. His face is intimidating and frightening. The man's mouth is curved into an evil smile, one that causes my heart to pound anxiously. _

_The man reaches his arms out towards the unknowing boy, and I start shaking my head, screaming at the top of my lungs. _

"_BEHIND YOU!" I scream, pounding on the invisible wall. The boy finally registers with what I'm trying to say and he turns around, facing the man who grabs onto the boy's head forcefully. _

_I continue to scream as sobs start to escape me. I am exhausted from trying to break through the wall, trying to save the boy. I have to save him._

_But it's too late. The dark hooded man already has the boy in his grip, and chills go through my spine as he turns to look at me while he holds the boy captive. _

"_He's mine." the man says sadistically, his lips curling into an unpleasant sneer. _

"_No!" I protest, looking at the boy who remains calm in the evil man's grasp. I don't understand why he's so at ease. Doesn't he see how terrible this man is? "Let go of him!"_

_The man laughs spitefully, and before I have a chance to even blink, he grabs the boy's head and twists it swiftly, sending the light of out his beautiful eyes._

"_NO!" I scream over and over again, as tears pour down my cheeks. "NO, ALEC! COME BACK! PLEASE! I FORGIVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE, COME BACK!"_

_I fall to my knees, sobbing so hard I can't breath. _

"_Don't leave me…" I choke out, and gasp as I hear his voice echo into my ears._

"_Never."_

As I woke up abruptly, I gasped loudly, trying to breath. I sat in my bed for several moments, making sure what I'd seen was only a dream. My heart raced in my chest rapidly, causing my whole upper body to vibrate. My shadowy room felt as though it was moving in circles around me, and I closed my eyes to keep from growing nauseous. I grabbed my chest, and breathed deeply, feeling a tear slip from the corner of my eye and down my cheek.

_Only a dream._

It was too real though; much too real. My dreams were always so vivid, especially the nightmares. And here lately, whether my dreams were good ones or nightmares, they were always revolved around Alec.

Tonight, however, it involved his death. I'd had a similar dream before in Volterra, and having it a second time around didn't make it any less traumatic. Actually, this time it was worse. It was worse because I didn't have him to come barging into my room to assure me he was alive. He wasn't here, and I had no idea if he was alright or not.

My dream replayed itself in my brain, and I prayed that it wasn't valid.

Alec was supposed to be a faded memory, but my dreams of him were anything but faded. I wish I could just erase him from my life completely; from my dreams, my thoughts, everything. But the more I tried not to think about him, the more I found myself obsessing over him.

It was beyond unfair and cruel. Faded memory, my ass. Who was I trying to fool? Oh, right, myself.

I needed to meet someone new. Yeah, I just needed to get involved with some other guy equally perfect as Alec, or not as perfect in this case, and I'll be fine. I'll have him off my mind in no time at all.

Right, because rebounds aren't typical and pathetic at all. What am I suppose to do? Sleep with some random dude and hope for the best? I was better than that. And besides, I was off sex. Completely. Yep, no more sex. Ever again. With anyone. Especially not with _him. _As if that's even an option. Ha!

I tried falling back asleep, but it was a wasted effort. I kept tossing and turning, completely wide awake. Annoyed, I sighed and got up, opening the curtain to my window to peek outside. It was a rare night. The sky was completely clear, and the moon gave off a brilliant glow in the forest. It was beautiful, and I decided I had to take part in such a glorious night.

Another thought came to mind. If I was going outside, I might as well hunt. It'd been several weeks since I had actually killed to feed, what with Duckie being around most of the time. I was parched, and after the night I'd had? I deserved it.

I peeked at my alarm clock that read: 4:38 AM. I groaned and decided to get dressed. I knew by the time I was finished feeding, came back home, got a shower, and brushed my teeth, I wouldn't have a hope of going back to sleep. Blood always worked like an energy drink to me, anyways. So, I might as well just get dressed now and prepare for an extremely long day.

As I did so, I wondered about my family and where the heck they were. It was December, and they still weren't back. My parents called almost everyday, and each time I asked when the hell they had an idea of when they wanted to come back and why they were taking so long. A hunting trip didn't last this freaking long, I'm sorry. I sort of missed them. I mean, were they avoiding me? I wasn't too bad to be around. I wasn't the same spunky girl I was before but I wasn't boring, I didn't think. Every time I asked what they were up to they said they were traveling and such, and they might stop by to visit Tanya, Kate, Carmen and Eleazar.

I don't know, something smelled fishy. But, I wasn't going to pry. If they wanted to travel and whatever, who was I to stop them? I was perfectly fine here with Duckie and Jake, my two best friends. Life doesn't get any better than this.

I'm walking on sunshine, baby.

On my way to the stairs, I checked in on Duckie to make sure she was asleep. Thankfully, she was. I smiled as I observed her not so comfortable looking sleeping position. Her body was twisted in an uncomfortable looking position, and her blanket was twisted around her legs. But as long as she was out cold, I didn't care.

Duckie had taken the news of vampires existing better than I had anticipated. She told me that she had always suspected there was something else out there and that hearing about vampires really wasn't that much of a surprise to her. So, after she got over the shock of it all, she made me tell her every detail there was to know about us. She asked why I was different than my family, and I explained to her how I was half human. She thought the idea of how I was conceived was kinky; a vampire and a human. She then added that she wanted to experiment with a vampire, as well. Of course, I knew she was referring to Felix. I told her that the chances of that happening were slim to none.

But yeah, over all, she was peachy with all of it. And of course, she asked me to turn her, to which I replied that it was impossible for me to do it because I'm not venomous. She asked who could then, and I laughed, shrugging her off. What scared me though is that I think she was serious.

My family still doesn't know that of her awareness, and I intended to keep it that was as long as humanly possible. I know the second dad gets back he'll read both our minds and I'll be in some serious hot water. Even worse: he'll know about Felix and Demitri's visit. There's no telling what's going to happen after that.

When I wasn't goofing around with Duckie, I was out baby shopping with Jacob. Leah is four months along and Billy and Sue still didn't know anything about it. They didn't even know that the two of them were involved. Apparently Jake and Leah were planning this family dinner in a couple of weeks, and that's when they're going to tell them. Seth is coming too, along with Grandma Charlie; I'm sure, seeing as how he and Sue are married now. Very strange. Sue is like my step-grandma, which makes Leah my step-aunt, which makes Jake my step uncle in law, which would make their twins my step cousins in law…?

We're all big one, happy family.

But back to the dinner. Jake insisted that I go along, as if to play the peacemaker. I protested, but he suckered me into it and I felt as though I didn't have a choice. Maybe it was best that I was coming. This way, if Billy pulled the whole Imprinting crap, I could state that there was absolutely nothing going on between Jacob and I.

Whatever happens that night, I don't predict it's going to end well.

I skipped down my stairs and opened the front door, inhaling the fresh air that smelled of dew and pine. I glanced up at the sky as I left the front porch, twinkling stars that decorated the black sky. Centered around the stars was the moon, the round, mysterious object that floated overhead.

Getting bored with staring at the atmosphere, I ran deep into the deserted forest, making sure I was far away from the house. When I got to a place where I was satisfied, I stopped, taking in my surroundings. The lighting of the woods was eerie but very pretty.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, inhaling as I concentrated on potential prey.

To the human ear, these woods would be dead silent, but in actuality it was filled with various sounds. I wasn't as keen to senses as a vampire would be, and I was most definitely not as strong or fast, but there were perks to being half of one. As I inhaled, I smelled all of your typical earthly inhabitants; the moisture in the air, the trees, the soil of the earth, and other numerous undetectable scents. But these weren't my target. Obviously, my target was the warm, slightly unpleasant, aroma that was headed west.

I recognized the familiar scent immediately; it was deer. And according to the heartbeats that rang in my ear, there were two of them. My mouth watered almost instantly upon hearing their pulses, and just like that, I had completely given over to my instincts. I scared myself when I was like this, because nothing else in the world mattered but my prey. All I wanted to do was kill, to literally drain the life out of them. And every time I fed, I always, against my better judgment, wondered how much better it would be if it were a human I was feeding on. The thought alone made my throat scream in agony, deciding for me how wonderful it would feel.

Damn it, these deer are going down.

The sandpaper in my esophagus and the aching in my limbs couldn't be ignored a second longer. My system felt like it was on fire, burning with the need of blood to sustain it. Inside my chest, my heart hammered against my rib cage furiously, as my head pounded just as much. When my family hunted, their bodies remained calm, as their venom was doing all the work for them, and their instincts, of course. When I hunted, my entire body frenzied. My human nature mixed in with my vampire nature, and somehow the two mingled together, creating a battle inside of me. But the vampire needs always won, as they were far too strong for the human genes.

And right now, if I didn't get what I needed, I was going to explode.

Within a second, I was speeding through the space that kept me from my prey. When the two deer came into view, my mouth automatically opened in excitement. I could practically see their pulsating veins, dancing underneath their skin. Deer were actually quite lovely creatures, or at least I'd always thought. I found them graceful and very intelligent, but not enough to outrun me. As much as I liked them, I liked what their blood did to me better.

The two doe impulsively fled from me, sensing danger. Without missing a beat, I chased after them, the desperation growing inside of me as each second passed. I locked eyes on them, ignoring the branches and limbs that hit me as I whipped through the dark forest. I gained on them almost instantly, and the anticipation of feeding was overpowering.

I was inches from the largest doe, and as I reached my arm fourth to grab onto the helpless animal, I heard a noise a few feet from behind. Now, noises in the forest were not uncommon. But this wasn't made by a measly little critter. The snap of whatever it stepped on couldn't have been made by a small animal. By the sound of it, this thing weighed more. Caught off guard by the sound, I stalled, and my prey dashed through the forest ahead of me.

The only feeling that I can describe what I was feeling is absolute _rage_. I was a second away from feeding. My throat tightened in anguish, as if I had teased it, and the parched feeling only intensified to a level that can only be categorized as unbearable and excruciating.

My eyes watered at the pain, and I could hear a low, deadly growl emerging from my chest. I clenched my hands into fists, and my body readied itself from attack. Whatever sidetracked me was going to pay dearly. I didn't care what it was. I just knew that it was dead.

In the time it took a person to blink, I whipped around and lunged at the intruder, hissing loudly as I leaped through the air and onto the imposter. I didn't even see what I was attacking, I just attacked. I wasn't me right now. I was a predator who was severely pissed off. I could have killed my best friend right now. That's how far gone I was. Everyone and everything were all the same: victims.

I knocked over my new kill, and was instantly welcomed and surprised by the luscious scent that made my head spin. I pinned the figure down, my hands clenching onto the arms tightly as I lowered my face to the throat, taking the scent in even deeper. I tried putting the perfume into words that I could actually form.

Undeniable, erotic, compelling.

Within seconds, my body had gone from excruciating and vengeful to something different. I was still thirsty, still crazed and now, slightly in heat. Actually, there was no slight about it.

I _was _in heat, and I had to have _him_.

I moaned loudly, scraping my teeth across his neck. The taste of his skin was unimaginable; like the most delectable hard candy combined with a hint of cinnamon and vanilla. I moved my mouth up to his jaw, breathing deeply as I slowly extended the tip of my tongue out, feeling the marble, and smooth skin run like silk under my lips.

"Amazing…" I moaned out, as I nibbled at the delicious skin.

I heard a low groan respond; a sound that sent my body into spasms. I could feel the inside of my legs pulsating and growing moist, and my skin felt like it was in flames. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered what the hell I was doing. But I couldn't stop. I literally could not stop. I couldn't control my own movements. It was as if someone else had completely taken the wheel of my brain. It was unstoppable. Everything inside of me screamed to keep going. I couldn't fight it. It was so much easier to give in. It felt so good; so perfect.

Before I knew it, I had been flipped over, and I was now helpless and underneath the intoxicating figure. And then his lips crashed into mine forcefully, separating my lips with his own and plunging his tongue inside my mouth. I didn't resist. He simply tasted too sweet to dare try and pull away. His tongue was cool against my own, and it felt absolutely amazing.

My hands somehow found their way under his shirt, and I dug my nails into the satiny skin of his back, all the while our lips moved ferociously against each other. It was like a competition of who could get the upper hand, and we were both losing to each other. I was a scorching desert, and he was an arctic storm, and the two of us intervened together, fighting with everything we had, with no intention of giving up.

He then grinded his pelvis into mine, to which I responded by biting his lower lip, letting a soft whimper escape. I wrapped my legs around his waist, squeezing him tightly with my muscles in the hopes he'd do it again. As if to play with me, he didn't oblige. Impatiently, I jerked my hips upward and into his, making it a point to roughly grind the center of my thighs against the hard bulge in his pants. A sound that sounded like a mixture of a grunt, a moan and a word that I couldn't quite make out, came from him.

His lips departed from mine, only to move to my chin and down to my neck. I stretched my head back immediately, giving him the access he needed. My hands had made their way to his soft hair, gripping onto it as he sucked eagerly on my neck. I felt a cool hand slip under my shirt, which was actually very shortly cut, and explore my skin until it found my eagerly awaiting breast. My body jerked at the contact. His fingers were like magic as they ever so lightly, like a soft feather floating against my skin, caressed the sensitive, hardening area of my nipple. And just as he applied the smallest amount of pressure to his stroke, my back arched as I cried out. I was literally milliseconds away from coming, and he was barely doing anything to me. I then realized it wasn't what he was doing that made me just about climax, but _who_ was doing it in the first place.

I heard a quiet, irresistible chuckle. One that was all too familiar.

My limbs froze as I was finally coming out of my daze. The mist was clearing, no pun intended, and for the first time I actually studied the face that was right in freaking front of me. The gorgeous, angelic face that possessed my every thought of everyday. Those full, sensuous lips that captivated me in every way imaginable. Those eyes, those wine-colored eyes that was more intoxicating than wine itself. It was all starting to make sense.

I blinked, second guessing my sanity. But he was still there.

"…Alec?"

He smiled softly, his beautiful eyes glittering in the moonlight.

"I've missed you…" His charismatic voice whispered back.

A million emotions swarmed inside of me all at once, and my head spun from the confusion. Was this real? Was I hallucinating? Was I still dreaming? If this were a dream, it'd be like, the best freaking wet dream ever. But no, it was too real to be a dream. My fantasies didn't have this much imagination. He was here; I was sure of it. And through all the mixed feelings inside of me, one stood out prominent.

Relief.

"You're alive?" I asked in a tiny, childlike voice, feeling my chin quiver uncontrollably.

"Of course I'm alive, Renesmee…" He whispered back, his expression confused.

I felt a tear stream down my face, and I fought back more from following. I reached up to cup his face, wanting to feel him in my hands. His eyes fluttered closed at the contact.

I don't think I realized just how worried I was about him until this very moment. Ever since Felix told me he was on the loose, I knew that meant no good. I also knew what happened to people who disobeyed the Volturi. I had had such a horrible feeling that something was going to happen to him. And if something ever did? If he was ever killed, I don't know how I would make it.

So knowing he was okay and right in front of me took a giant weight off of my chest that had been suffocating me for the last month. But it seemed just as quickly as my rush of relief came, more emotions flew in and replaced every particle in my body.

Anger, confusion, depression, humiliation, more confusion.

As much as I was glad to know he was alive and okay, that still didn't make me forget what he did to me. Nothing would make that okay; and nothing had changed. Yes, I cared about him. I had to admit that to myself. There was always going to be something about him that remained in my heart, but that didn't mean I had to let him back in it. I wouldn't. I would die before I made that mistake first mistake was kissing him. I still felt his lips on mine, his breath on my skin, his hands; all of it was playing in my head, trying to confuse me. I was disgusted with myself for allowing that to happen. What was I thinking? Why had I done it? I let him get too close. What was wrong with me? I knew it was him, I mean, my subconscious did at least. There's no way in hell I would have felt that passion with anyone else. I don't care how hungry or horny I was. He was my weakness, and that just pissed me off to no degree. After everything, he could still get to me. That's not right, not right at all.

I tried to keep all my emotions inside, though inside I was really screaming. And to be honest, I was still too shocked to express them. He was here. He was physically standing in front of me. How was I to react to this? What do I say to him? A part of me wanted to scream at him; to yell and be unreasonable. But that was the old Renesmee, childish and quite frankly a brat. But I didn't want to be that person anymore. I wanted to show him that I had changed, and I wanted to tell him I had. But that was hard because I couldn't speak, as words were stuck in my throat.

"Please say something." Alec begged, his eyes so sincere and desperate as his eyes glowed in the night. His thumb tenderly brushed my cheek; my chest swelled and ached at the same time.

"I thought you were dead," I blurted out, tears swelling in my eyes. "Felix said-"

"Felix was wrong. I'm here and I'm safe and I'm with you."

I closed my eyes and I breathed heavily, trying to comprehend the occurring events and things being said. Trying to process it all was exhausting, and it made my head spin. How fast things that turned. One second, I was in need and desperate for him, and now all I felt was pain manifesting itself inside of me. Any moment now, I knew it would erupt and I was going to completely break and realize I was still dreaming. This was too much to handle. I wasn't strong enough for this, not yet. I might never be ready for this. I acted strong and like nothing could touch me but I was really just insulting myself. And he being here wasn't helping me at all.

That was when I sort of shut down. I was like a mummy, a living mummy; unmoving and speechless.

As if he was reading my thoughts, Alec took it upon himself to help me up off the ground. Once I was on my two feet, I slowly reached down to wipe some of the mud off my clothes, though it was kind of pointless. I didn't know what to say to Alec. I didn't know what he wanted to hear. After all, what do you say to a person who's been absent in your life and you just made out with him? Do I apologize? Do I say it was a mistake? I was completely clueless on this whole situation. Lucky for me, Alec also took it upon himself to talk.

"You look good." He complimented. I slowly gazed down at my figure that was covered it mud and looked back up, confused at his statement. "Wait, I mean-"

"What're you doing here?" I asked, hearing the puzzlement in my voice.

Alec took a step forward me, running his hands through his hair awkwardly. Finally having the chance to see his entire form, I observed his demeanor. He looked, in the best way I could put it, roughed up a bit. His usual perfectly smooth hair was in a messy state, as if he'd just rolled out of bed. I wondered if that was from me, before, when I was sort of tugging at it. I then tried to erase that completely from my mind. I also noticed he had faint, dark circles under his eyes, and his clothes wrinkled. He wore a black, V neck tee shirt and a pair of skin tight jeans.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to come out and say it," he stated, taking a deep breath. "I came back for you."

I started to shake my head no as he walked closer to me, cupping my face in his hands, his cool and marble hands that I hated to admit made me feel safe.

"I know I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. But I can't help but think that deep down you know that I love you."

"You can't just come here and say this to me, Alec." I protested softly, "What if they find you here? They're looking for you and it's really risky." I was trying to change the subject, because the path that he was going down terrified me. It made me uncomfortable. I knew what he was doing here and I knew what he wanted. And the scariest of all? There was a tiny part of me that wanted to give in, to just forgive him for everything. But the rest of me disabled me from even daring to go there; to open myself up to him like that. I just couldn't. Not that I wasn't speaking the truth before. It was dangerous for him to be here, and for me.

"Nez, I'm telling you that I love you and you're worrying about something that's impossible. Are you not hearing a word I'm saying?"

"I heard you, but I'm just trying to state the facts here. We couldn't make it before-"

"Before I was in the possession of another, and now I belong to you." Alec interjected. He sounded so certain of himself that it literally sent chills down my spine. His cherry irises seemed to burn a hole through me, causing me to suck in a breath while goose bumps prickled my skin.

What did he mean by that? Was he talking about Aro? I was completely confused by all of this. What the hell was going on?

It didn't help that it was difficult trying to function my brain while he was looking at me like that. I had to say something, but I couldn't do that if I was completely speechless in his presence. His statement scared me; how confident he sounded. I just hoped he couldn't see though my tough face that I was really petrified inside…

"I don't understand."

"I think you do."

I shook my head quickly, while my mind racing with possibilities, all of which were leading to one conclusion:

Alec was a free man; and that was impossible.

"You can't be."

"But I am," he confirmed, smiling softly. "It wasn't easy going against Aro. For a second I really did think I was dead until Jane-"

"Jane?"

"Yeah. She surprised me more than anybody. But that's not the point. The point is I'm a free person now and I can do what I want. And more importantly I'm free to be with you, because that's all I'll ever want…that's what I did it for. I thought of you every day, every second. You were my drive behind it all…" he said, running his fingers through my hair. "I know what I did was terrible. I hurt you and I should have told you long before…but I was scared. I was scared of losing you."

My eyes watered, my breathing became jagged and my heart hammered inside of me. Self control was beginning to escape me, and I was losing the ability to keep myself in one piece. My knees were growing weak and my body trembled against his.

As he looked down at me, I stared up into his eyes, replaying his words over and over in my head.

"But you have lost me."

"No, I haven't. You make it so obvious that you're contradicting yourself." he almost whispered, his face falling into a frown. "You've been contradicting yourself for the last three months. I'm here, _perla_. I want to start over with you. I want to forget the past, forget the Volturi. I want to start my life where it's been meant to start from the beginning. It was real for me, Nez. It always has been. I just need you to believe me when I say that I love you. I need to hear it."

"You're making it so complicated. A part of me wants to trust you but my head is telling me not to." I choked out between potential sobs, my chest contracting rapidly.

He slowly reached hand out towards my neck, and took hold of the chain that I had hoped he wouldn't notice. My body became stiff immediately.

_Oh, no…_

Alec pulled on the chain until the tiny seashell immerged from underneath my shirt. He took it in his hand, staring down at it.

"Part of you loves me…" It wasn't a question so much as it was an assumption. I nodded slowly in response, not denying it. "Now I just need you to trust me. Please, please tell me that you trust me." His voice had such urgency to it, paining me further for what I was about to do.

"I can't…" I gasped out, releasing the tears that I'd been keeping inside. "You hurt me. And to me, trust is more important than love. I can't tell you that I don't love you, but I can say that I don't know how I'd ever be able to trust you again."

His beautiful face fell as he took my face in his hands again, his thumbs wiping away my tears.

"Let me try, Renesmee. Please. I can gain your trust back and-"

"It's not that easy. I look at you and all I can see is what you made me feel like."

Alec shook his head, and I gripped onto his hands on my cheeks, slowly pulling them away from me. I reached back with one hand and took off my neck, placing it in his hand gently. Alec looked as if I had ripped his heart out and it stung my own to witness it. I hated doing this, but I couldn't change the way I felt. I couldn't trust him anymore, and you can't base a relationship on distrust. He wasn't the same person he used to be, not to me anyways.

"Don't do this…" he begged, his face the distinction of agony. "If you love me enough we can get through this."

"Then I don't love you enough." I half lied, "Listen, you got your freedom, and that means you're…free. Free of everything, including me. Give me the chance to move on, Alec, I think I deserve that."

With that said, I turned around, trying to keep my head high, and I left him without turning back. But I didn't have to turn back to see the heartbroken expression etched all over his face while he stood alone, watching me leave.

As I ran, I clamped my hand over my mouth to keep from sobbing, but that only lasted so long.

I could barley remember walking inside my house and up to my room and throwing myself onto my bed. All I can really recall is weeping uncontrollably into my pillow, soaking the fabric. I cried so hard my body shook, and my head pounded while I grew nauseated. I had to make myself calm down, because I knew if I didn't I was going to throw up. It was hard though. All I wanted to do was cry until I couldn't anymore. But the tears never subsided. I knew I was doing the right thing, but I still felt so terrible. My chest ached when I pictured his face, his heartbroken face staring at me with desperation in his eyes. I hurt him; I hurt him more than I had even anticipated. Why did he have to come back and do this to me? Why did I have to feel bad about what I did? He deserved it. I have nothing to regret. It's his fault this happened, because if he had just told me before…maybe it wouldn't have to be like this.

I didn't want to love him anymore. If I didn't love him, I wouldn't care whether or not I hurt him. But I did love him, and I did care. I cared too much. It tore me up inside knowing he was miserable, but I couldn't change the way I felt. I didn't trust him, no matter how much I loved him.

After a while, my eyes grew exhausted and heavy. I don't know exactly when I fell asleep, but I just knew that the pain stopped temporally. But temporally only lasted so long.

When my eyes opened, I realized that it didn't feel like I had slept at all, really. I yawned and reached over to my nightstand to grab my cell phone. I looked at the screen that said it was 3:06 PM. I wasn't too surprised that I'd slept the day away, and more importantly I didn't care. If I thought I could get away with staying in bed the rest of the day, I would. But I didn't want to sulk either. I couldn't stop living just because my life felt miserable. I'm a trooper.

I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes and inhaling, remembering the events of last night and how horrible it all was. Just the thought made my eyes sting with tears.

Screw it. I'll be a trooper tomorrow.

Just as I was about to lay back down and feel sorry for myself, I felt something tangle in my hair by my neck. Curiously, I touched the nape of my neck to feel a chain. My eyes widened instantly as I sucked in a breath.

_There's no way…_

Ever so slowly, I looked down to my chest to find my seashell locket hanging in its usual spot. I gasped aloud; looking around the room to make sure Alec wasn't here. Only he obviously _was. _Did he come back, put the necklace on me and then leave? I'm guessing so. I did know the feeling of it around my neck again was comforting. It tore me to pieces giving it back to him, because I secretly really didn't want to. I only did it to prove to him that I was serious. But that didn't mean I wasn't happy to have it back. I shouldn't have been, but I was.

I grabbed onto the little locket, resisting the urge to hug the stupid thing. I lay back down, curling into the fetal position as I held the locket close to me. I pictured Alec coming into my room while I was sleeping and slipping on the necklace around my neck. I should've been angry that he did this, but I couldn't be.

I remembered when he gave it to me, that starry night on the yacht when we were leaving Palermo. My heart sunk in my chest at recalling his words.

'_I'm giving this to you so you have something to remember me by when we're…separated.'_

He sounded so genuine. He always did. But now I couldn't decide whether just how genuine it really was, for him at least. He made me want to think he was sorry, and I believed he was, I really did. But sorry wasn't enough for me. He also informed me of his being free of the Volturi. Now that did surprise me, because of how unrealistic it sounded. How could I have believed him? I wasn't there when it happened so I have no idea whether or not he was lying to me.

Aro killed his own sister, Didyme, to prevent Marcus from leaving. Alec's ability was more powerful than Marcus', so I have a really hard time believing that just because Jane intervened, Aro let Alec go. It just didn't sound realistic.

Becoming lost in my thoughts, I jumped when Duckie barged into my room unexpectedly and without bothering to knock.

"Rise and shine, my little duckling!" she sang cheerfully with a bright smile on her face. "I've waited long enough for you to wake up. I've been bored."

"Sorry…had a long night." I mumbled, not bothering to sit up to greet her.

She frowned, and walked over to lay on the bed next to me, propping her face up with her arm.

"I heard you leave last night. Where did you go?"

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was until you woke me up. Now spill." She insisted, giving me that look of hers' the one that said she wasn't leaving until she got some info.

"Hunting…deer" I answered honestly, shrugging nonchalantly.

In reality, I really didn't want to tell her what happened. One, it was really personal and between Alec and I, and second the whole ordeal hurt so much that I didn't want to talk about it at all. It was bad enough having to think about it. I couldn't imagine saying it out loud and how it would make me feel. And third: I knew she would freak the hell out and I didn't want to hear it. I didn't know whose side she would be on, given the situation, but I had a faint suspicion that it wouldn't be mine she'd be rooting for. I mean, I know she's my friend and all, but Duckie was prone to side with the male specimen.

Duckie's eyes narrowed apprehensively, and she pursed her lips.

"Uh huh. And is it always mandatory for you to wrestle in the mud with the deer?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

At first I didn't understand her question, but once I looked down at my clothes I realized instantly what she was talking about. I had forgotten about my little make-out session with Alec on the ground. I had mud smudges all over me, and my sheets. Last night when I got home, taking a shower and changing my clothes was the last priority on my mind.

I tried coming up with a clever answer that would satisfy her, but was rapidly coming up short.

"If the deer is putting up a fight." I answered, the statement coming out more like a question. What was I saying! Deer run, but they never wrestle. I guess I really was desperate for her not to know the truth, because the more I opened my mouth, the more pitiful words came out in an attempt to hide my shame.

For a second, I actually pictured in my head wrestling with a deer and I almost started to laugh at the idea of it.

I peeked up at Duckie to see if she was buying any of this; she wasn't and I was screwed.

"Uh huh. And um, since when do deer leave hand-prints on petite girly bits?"

"Huh?"

"Right there! I see one…two- five finger prints on _your _thigh." Duckie declared, pointing down to my leg. "I mean, I don't know much about animals, but I do know enough to determine what a deer foot looks like and what a hand looks like searching for a pot of gold. Did he eat your lucky charms?"

My jaw dropped, and I felt my cheeks flush.

_We're seriously not having this conversation, are we?_

"I don't want to talk about it." I stated.

"Of course you don't; because what sane woman would want to brag about the fact that she got cock blocked?" Duckie chuckled. "So, who was he?"

I got up instantly and opened my drawers for some clean clothes, trying to pick out the outfit I was going to wear for the day, seeing as how it was essential for me to get out of these clothes that were digging me into a hole. The more I looked at them, the more I remembered what it felt like to have his hands on me. Or his mouth moving urgently against mine, his tongue massaging mine. It felt too damn incredible. I don't even know why I did that, why I allowed myself to be touched by him. One would think I would know better by now but apparently old habits really do die hard.

"Duckie, can we not do this? I'm dirty, I feel like crap-"

"I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess it was A-L-E-"

"Duckie-"

"It was! I'm totally psychic."

I rolled my eyes at her, and glanced at myself in the mirror.

Holy crap. I looked like shit. I looked like shit on shit. I looked like shit on shit on drugs. And I felt like grime, and I smelled horrible. How the hell did I sleep like this? My shoes were still freaking on! Stuff like this never happened to me. I was very routine with how I did things. And then Alec blows into town and I'm a total mess, literally.

After a moment of complete silence, I started towards my bedroom door, aiming for the bathroom to take a much needed shower when Duckie stopped me with a really weird question.

"So what base did you get to?"I turned around and shot her a look.

"What?"

"What base? First base? Second base? I know you didn't hit a home run because otherwise you wouldn't have been crying last night, unless he really sucked at what he was doing."

I stood there awkwardly, fiddling with my fingers while she continued to gawk at me impatiently. I know this might sound really strange, but I actually didn't know how far we got according to be baseball analogy. I never really could tell which was first and all that. I guess home run was going all the way? The curiosity was eating inside of me, and I knew the only way to get rid of it was to come out and openly ask her, which I really didn't want to do. How humiliating. But apparently I didn't need to bother because Duckie took my silence as her cue and began to explain it.

"First base: kissing, mostly with tongue, and that's it. By the looks of your jeans? That's not the case." she began, smirking as she glanced back down at my jeans. "Second base: gropage."

"Gropage?" I repeated, grimacing in confusion.

"Yes. Gropage. His hands finding many areas to play with, including your tits. Now the question is: did you get to third?" Duckie inquired.

I shrugged. Like I was supposed to know what third base was?

Duckie sighed and stood up from the bed."So much to learn," she said. "Did your hand shake Mr. Peter's?"

"Mr. Peter?"

"His Peter."

"Oh…no."

"Damn. Okay, did he explore your uh…girly bits?"

"…No."

"You're giving me nothing to work with, here. That's not how it's suppose to go-"

"Duckie, we're not talking about what I did because what I did was stupid!" I interrupted, my voice rising. "Really, really stupid!"

"If it's so stupid then why did you do it?"

"I don't know!" I snapped, and quickly turned around to flee for the bathroom, practically running down the hall before she could get a chance to say something else.

I closed the door to the bathroom behind me and locked it, sighing deeply as I walked over to the bathtub. I stripped off my disgusting clothes and without hesitation I stepped into the shower, scrubbing furiously at my skin, trying to get his scent off of me. I let the hot water run down my face, attempting to drown my thoughts of the whole ordeal. Yet no matter how hard I tried to forget about him, it was becoming clear that it was impossible. Most things were impossible these days.

After washing my hair, shaving and all together trying to stay in the shower as long as possible, I got out, wrapping myself up in a large, fluffy towel and walked back down the hall to my room.

Good news: Duckie was nowhere to be found. She must have gave up on trying to get details from me and gone elsewhere to sulk in her failure. Bad news: there was someone that had replaced her presence.

Now it was my turn to sulk in my own failure at pushing Alec out of town. There he was, in my room and totally disregarding everything I said last night.

I groaned out loud and shut the door quickly before Duckie could discover him that is if she hadn't already. Truthfully, I wasn't really all that surprised Alec stayed behind. Partly because I knew he had to have lingered when he gave me back my necklace while I was sleeping, but I had hoped that maybe he had left after that. But I knew better; part of me knew he was still here; I was trying to trick myself into thinking otherwise.

"We need to talk." Alec said firmly, leaning against my wall casually.

He, too, had changed out of his muddy attire and into clean clothes. For a second I wondered where he got another pair of clothes to begin with, but I then remembered last night, he had a black duffle bag with him. That perplexed me a little; Alec was a very elegant and stylish kind of person, and carrying nothing with him but a duffle bag was unusual for him. He looked as though he was backpacking or something.

Another thing that I had completely overlooked last night was that he was wearing a simple tee shirt and jeans. Alec hated simple clothes, but here he was, once again wearing jeans and a tee shirt. What was he trying to prove?

"No, Alec. We don't. I told you how I felt and I meant it. Now please, if you really care about me you'll just leave me be." I replied as calmly as I could manage, feeling extremely awkward as I was only wearing a large towel. At present though, I don't think Alec even noticed I was half naked. His eyes remained on my face only, and they blazed with determination and by the looks of it, impatience and anger.

My heart thumped loudly, my pulse increasing at once at his stance. It's not so much that I was scared of him, but I was just scared of the unknown or what he had going on in his mind. Even worse; what effect it would have on me.

"That's just it; I don't buy any of it." he retorted, and I stiffened as he pushed himself off the wall and took a couple steps in my direction. "And I may be free, but that doesn't mean I'm free of the way I feel about you, and it sure as hell doesn't mean that I'm just going to give up just because you give me some bullshit statement about not loving me enough. You say you want to move on? You've had three months without me in your life, Renesmee, and yet the second I step back inside your life you jump me without a seconds hesitation. What exactly does that imply? You want to move on but you'll kiss me whenever you have an itch that you can't scratch? Or…does it mean that as much as you try to create an illusion of you being over me, you just…can't…do it. And guess what, Nez? You're not going to be able to. The more you persist and tell yourself I'm nothing to you, the more I'm etched into you." Alec said softly, putting his index finger on my chest.

I shook my head frantically, gulping. No, I could get over him. I just didn't exactly know when it was going to take effect completely. But I could, couldn't I? Eventually? I had to. I couldn't live like this; with the shadow of him everywhere I went.

I really didn't want him to be right about me, but truthfully, to an extent, he was right on it. But I couldn't let him see that. If I let him see, then I was toast.

"No, you're wrong. And last night…last night I was just-"

"Hunting? Please, can we not go back to the deer excuses? You know exactly what you were doing, and who you were doing it with." There was a slight humor in his voice, and I knew he must have been listening in on Duckie and me talking earlier. But that was the least of my worries right now.

Alec stood no more than two inches away from me, and the scent of him was beginning to cause my head to spin. I was running out of excuses and explanations for my actions. He saw right through me and I was completely cornered.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked desperately, shaking my head. "I told you the trust last night; I can't trust you, so why are you playing with me like this?"

Alec raised his hand to stroke the side of my face softly with his fingertips, and I shivered at the touch, partially because it felt so wonderful.

"I'm only going to say this once, so listen to me carefully…" he whispered, leaning his face closer to mine. My eyes shifted from his eyes and his lips rapidly, and my breathing became heavy and quick at the intensity in his features. "You have _never _been a game to me, Renesmee. I was ordered to entice you into staying with the Volturi, and at first, before I knew you, I was dead set on my mission. But I fell in love with you, and the thought of sleeping with you absolutely terrified me because I didn't want to fall into Aro's plans because it disgusted me what he wanted, but damn it, you made it so hard to resist you…That night, on the yacht? That was _not_ for Aro, do you understand? That was just you and me, just like it's just you and me right now. And I know you don't trust me, and you don't completely believe me, but that's why I'm going to change your mind."

I was a statue in every sense of the word. His words would have driven me to tears but it seemed that even my tear ducts couldn't function anymore. Almost every particle in my body screamed to hug him and kiss him and tell him I believed him, and then there was that little something that was holding me back; that told me I wasn't ready for any of that.

My mind was racing a million miles an hour as I tried to process everything he said, but not all of it would absorb.

But one thing I did know, and it was that I was afraid of letting him back in and getting hurt again. I don't think I would be able to survive it a second time. It was only now that I realized how fast everything went in Volterra with us, how one thing had gone to the next within weeks. I met him, I didn't like him but secretly wanted him, I spent some time with him, I found myself rapidly falling in love with him, and I gave myself to him heart and soul, and I came out of it feeling used and cheap. I didn't want that to happen this time.

I didn't know who I was and what I wanted anymore. It was becoming lost in his face that was inches from mine.

"What are you saying…?" I choked out.

"I'm saying I'm going to make it right again. I'm going to make you trust me again and I'm not going anywhere." Alec whispered confidently, his lips nearing closer to mine, and my heart practically stopped altogether.

"It's not that easy."

"But I'm already starting to get inside your head, aren't I?"

"No…" I lied.

"Then why aren't you pulling away from me?" He breathed against my lips, tingling them with the coolness of his breath.

My eyes fluttered as he trailed his fingers from my hair to my neck and down my arm, leaving goose bumps where he touched. His other arm was wrapped around me waist, gently holding me in place against him by my low back. The towel I was wearing seemed to shrink in his presence, because I felt as if I were naked.

"Let me in, Nez…" Alec half whispered, half purred as he continued to stroke my arm slowly.

His choice of words sent electricity down my spine and a faint throb in between my legs. I was losing control again, in everyway possible. And if Duckie hadn't barged into the room, I don't know just how much I would have lost myself in him or how far I would have gone.

"We're out of food, just thought I'd let you know." Duckie snapped as she opened the door, glaring before she slammed it closed. An instant later, it swung back open, and she most have finally noticed Alec standing there against me in an intense position. Her mouth dropped and her eyes widened as she stared at him. "You have some serious explaining to do, Cookie."

Alec sighed softly, and I pushed him away from me instantly, realizing just how close we actually were.

"You must be Duckie," Alec presumed, and how he knew I had no idea.

"And you must be Mr. Peter…" Duckie replied, a delighted grin spreading across her pink cheeks.

_And I'm Renesmee, completely and utterly screwed._

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**W/N: Okay so an update after 20 days isn't too bad, right? Right? lol. So rejoice! They're together again, well not really but you know what we mean! This chapter was depressing to write, but was worth it! Hoped you like it. Thanks for all the reviews, everybody! PLEASE keep in mind that we're busy and we write when we can. Love ya'll!**

**~IITM**

**PS: Please don't take the beginning messages seriously, we're only joking!**


	26. Chapter 26: Say Uncle

**A message from Alec: "Hello, ladies...It has come to our attention that this has needed to be done every chapter. And lucky for you, it's my turn to inform you that if you steal this chapter, I'll numb your ass so quickly you wont even have a chance to beg me for mercy. But no worries, a grin would definitally be on my face. I know you'll enjoy this chapter; after all, it is from my point of view...Proceed."**

**~InspiredInTheMoment**

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Chapter 26: Say Uncle

**Alec's POV**

"Jane, you didn't have to do that…" I mumbled as we exited the throne room.

I still could not wrap my head around what event had just taken place. In fact, if I wasn't so intent on thanking my sister, I would have been completely speechless.

I could still hear Aro's lethal voice concluding my fate, and as I had feared, it wasn't to my benefit.

"_After discussing the matter, we've decided that your gifts are too valuable to lose. And as you so plainly said before that you would better off be dead than in this coven and unhappy…we're prepared to oblige your request. Kill him."_

_The emotions exploded inside of me, and all I could think about was how I would never see Renesmee again, how I would never be able to make things right with her, or to even officially apologize. The idea of her living on without me in any form of existence was unbearably agonizing; so much so that I almost welcomed death just so I could be free of it._

_Almost._

_I knew I had no chance in hell of escaping, and in the few seconds I had left, I closed my eyes and pictured her divine face. My Nez, so lively and courageous, so sweet and so strong. I could hear the sound of her laughter within my head, and I smiled softly at the memory, and slowly I drifted off into her warmth._

_Goodbye, Perla…_

"_If you want to kill him you're going to have to kill me as well." I heard a determined and enraged voice ring out loudly._

_I felt my eyes open immediately, only to see my sister right at my side, her hand clenching onto mine tightly._

_My eyes widened in realization. She was going to get herself killed, and that I definitely could not bear._

"_Stop it, Jane!" I hissed, shaking my head violently. What the hell was she doing? Did she _want _to die? Was she mad? I always contemplated her being a little insane, but never to this severity. I couldn't believe she was doing this._

_My first instinct to look at Aro to see his reaction to her outburst and threat, and saw the he appeared to be just as terrified as I was. I felt my brows furrow in confusion. He was scared? How was that even possible? The only possible conclusion I came up with was that he was scared of the idea of having to kill her, seeing as how Jane was his utmost favorite and precious creation. My powers were apparently replicable in his mind, but Jane's were, however, not. _

_It didn't surprise me one bit that he cared more about her life than he did mine. It had always been like that, and I didn't take it with offence. I found it amusing to see his horrorstruck expression at the idea of the his loss in power if she were to die. _

_It was actually quite pathetic, when I really considered it._

_Every guard in the room were prepared to attack, but Aro quickly held his hand up to indicate to them to stay put. _

"_Jane, dearest…please don't put yourself in a situation that could end in tragedy to both of us." Aro said, only it came out more along the lines of a plea. _

"_Don't test me, Aro. There is only one person who I value and respect even more than you," Jane replied, her hand still firmly grasped onto my hand. "Much like the first time we died, we're going out together. So, either you give my brother his freedom and I remain here as your servant, or you kill me along with him; because I will not lose my brother. I was not kidding when I suggested I take his punishment. He will go unbounded. If dies, so will I. I'm more then positive that there will be someone willing to end my life if you can't."_

_For the first time in over three centuries, I really remembered what it felt like to be a twin again. The bond between us was as strong as ever. There was like an invisible force binding us together, and I realized nothing, not even Aro himself could come between us. _

_We were blood. We were family. We were the freaking Witch Twins, for crying out loud; the most feared vampires in existence. We were unstoppable, even in death._

It wasn't a shock that Aro quickly changed his vote, and thus granting me my freedom. The realization that I was actually free hadn't even begun to hit me yet, as I was still in awe over Jane's sacrifice.

"And what would you rather I have done, let you die?" Jane replied, shaking her head with a roll to her eyes as she began to pace away from me and towards the alley.

I quickly caught up with her and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to actually look at me. I took hold of her shoulders and stared into her eyes, shaking my head slowly.

"Stop with the sarcasm, sister. Talk to me…" I said softly, sighing as she glanced down and away from eye contact.

The one thing Jane despised more than human life was feeling vulnerable. And this, actually being a genuine moment, made her uncomfortable. But I didn't care. She was going to actually talk to me like a person, and I wasn't going to leave until she did. She proved just moments ago that there was still some form of humanity inside of her. Jane was willing to give up her life just to save mine, and if that wasn't love, I didn't know what was. I will foever remember it as long as I walked this earth, and thanks to Jane, that was longer then thought before.

Now the problem was getting her to actually talk about it. It was like talking to a brick, cemented wall. A wall that's been there even before our fated death.

"There's nothing to talk about, Alec. You're free from this coven, free from Aro, free from me." Jane said bitterly with a hint of hurt in her tone. I gave her a puzzling look.

I was about to tell her that it wasn't because I wanted to be free of her, but before I did, I remembered what I had said to her the cursed day Renesmee left, and when I had no control over the things I said.

'_I wish you would've burned to death in that fire, Jane. _

_I wish I could be free of you and your cruelty._

_You are the most malicious bitch that I've ever had the misfortune to be stuck with.'_

At the time, I had meant every word of it. But looking back now, I just felt sick with myself. I had hurt her; something I didn't even know I was capable of anymore. In my defense, that was the worst day of my existence, and Jane was pressing my buttons to the extreme. I reacted in my rage and took everything I was feeling out on her, and I didn't care about her feelings because she had severely bruised mine. It seemed as though she didn't care that I was in the worst pain of my life, so I just let her have it. But to tell her I wished she died? That was the most cruel and sickest thing I could have ever said to my sister.

And I felt like the lowest scum in the entire universe for it. Nothing could take it back now. What was said was done. But that didn't mean I couldn't try to make some kind of peace with Jane. Start fresh.

"Jane, I'm so sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean it-"

"Yes you did, and…it's understandable. I shouldn't have…" Jane sighed and shook her head. "I shouldn't have interfered with your relationship with Renesmee, I just didn't understand it; how out of everyone in the world, you developed feelings for Edward and Bella Cullen's offspring."

I chuckled at her choice of words, because I, myself, wondered about it almost every day. How was it even possible?

"I don't even understand it, but it happened." I said, smiling softly. "She really is an amazing person if you gave the time to actually get to know her, you know."

Jane scoffed at the thought, and I smiled in response. Jane could only handle so much niceness as once. But that was just her, I guess. And as much as I wanted to change it, I couldn't. Only she could do that, and whether or not she ever would, I didn't know. Jane still couldn't live past what happened to her, and she trusted absolutely no one. She expected everyone to fail her in some way, and in doing so she set herself up for it. But maybe since she was opening herself up just a little bit right now, it'd continue to happen.

As if to answer my thoughts, Jane said:

"Don't push your luck, brother. She's still a Cullen, and I-"

"I know, you had your heart set on ending their coven." I finished for her, smiling again as she pouted a pathetic frown. "If it makes you feel any better, I had too. Once upon a time."

"It doesn't, so stop trying," Jane said with no hint of humor in her voice, that only made me laugh again. My sister really was a tight ass. She did need to loosen up some. "You should get going…"

I stopped smiling and realized that the moment had come where I had to leave her. Jane and I had never been separated under any circumstances, and if we were, it was only for a short period of time. But now I was about to leave her for good. I mean, I knew it wasn't like this was the last time we would ever see each other again, it wasn't. But just the same, things were going to be extremely different for the both of us, and it was going to take a while to get used to. But, these were the circumstances, and I was ready to get the hell out of this place once and for all. I just wanted to make sure she would be content staying here as well. That was a stupid thing to wonder, considering how this place was home to her; it'd always been home to her. But would it still be the same place for her if I was gone? Would she be lonely? Or was I just being over brotherly and worrying about her too much?

Jane was over three hundred years old and I knew she wasn't incapable of taking care of herself. Honestly, I just didn't know how to say goodbye to her. We have been practically the same person our entire lives, she was my right hand so to speak. And now I was going to be my own person. Without her.

It felt strange to even think of it.

"Thank you, sister." I mumbled awkwardly, giving her a small smile. Jane looked away from me, practically avoiding all eye contact. I looked at her, she really was beautiful in her own way, my sister. Her blonde hair pulled back as it is everyday, her eyes glowing red. Only now, she looks worried and younger than before. Jane's always scared that someone will see her being weak. We really were alike in so many ways. I had often wondered within the years, if Jane ever would find someone who would break through the stone wall. I guess I wont be here to see it if it did happen. It would be miracle.

Hopefully the gent who would be meant for my sister is a vampire, because it would literally take forever to get her to open up. Far longer than me. But that's because Jane held her emotions and her fears all on her sleeve. She just didn't realize it.

"Don't make me regret it, Alec, So help me if you cry…"

I laughed bitterly, running my hands though my hair.

"Me cry? Come now, Jane, when have I ever cried in front of you?"

She smiled sadly and finally looked me up in the eyes. My heart ached at the sight of sadness in her eyes.

"You know when." She said, ever so slowly, her voice small as the child that she was. For a moment there, I thought I was looking at the human Jane. The one who was carefree and happy from time to time. I looked down at the ground quickly in realization, my mind catching up with hers. I knew exactly what she was talking about and it shocked me that she would bring up those days. The days we both despise. It just reminded me how far we've really come.

"We really have been together forever, Sister."

"We have." Jane nodded.

"I hope you know Nez wont change anything between us. She's not Adeline." I placed my hand on my sister's shoulder, and her body tensed.

"I hope for her sake you're right."

"I am…I love her, Jane."

Jane rolled her eyes in her typical fashion, to which I sighed.

We stood there for several moments in silence, and I knew I didn't have to tell Jane I loved her as well; she already knew that. Just as I didn't need her to say it to me. Jane and I could tell each other just about everything without speaking it. It had always been like that with us; we always guessed each other's thoughts with a glance.

Without hesitating, I pulled my sister into a hug, drawing her close to me as I wrapped my arms around her little frame. She tensed for a moment, but then relaxed and slowly returned the gesture, wrapping her own arms around me and resting her head against my shoulder. The feeling of hugging Jane was almost foreign to me; it'd been so long since we've actually hugged each other. But as foreign as it felt, it also felt comforting.

We were each other's family, and my leaving didn't change that.

Jane pulled back from the hug and stared at me intensely, concern and doubt behind her garnet eyes.

"Don't take any lip from the Cullens…remember who you are…and be on guard-you know how they are…and-"

"Jane…" I chuckled, cutting off her unnecessary babbling.

Indeed I was worried about Edward and Bella's reaction to my uninvited arrival, but I was more concerned about how I was going to get back into Renesmee's good graces. Nez was my first priority, and everything else followed after her. Of course, that didn't mean I had my head in the sand. I knew I had a big storm ahead of me, but it wasn't going to keep me from her. At this point, I realized that nothing was going to.

Not even Nez herself.

Jane pursed her lips, still doubting this whole situation. Were I in her position, I would probably have the same view of things.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt, that's all."

"That makes two of us…"

"I guess you should get going then." Jane suggested in a business matter, jerking her head upwards towards the alley. I sighed and nodded in agreement, wishing that this could be easier.

"I guess so."

"I'll tell Felix goodbye for you."

I stiffened at the mention of his name. Until this moment, I had completely forgotten about what he'd witnessed with Adeline, who had apparently disappeared. Felix was going to get the completely wrong assumption, as he should have. It did look really bad, and I personally didn't need anymore failures to add to my list.

"Please don't. I doubt he'd even care right now that I left."

"And why's that?" Jane cocked an eyebrow.

"You don't want to know, trust me."

"I'll take your word for it…because honestly, I don't care." She said, being as brutally honest as she could muster. Oh, my sister…

After laughing at her bluntness, I sighed and realized that I needed to leave if I wanted to see Nez.

"I'll see you, _sorella._" I whispered, hugging her once more and kissing the top of her head.

"Until then, _fratello_…" she replied, nodding softly.

With the knowledge that this wasn't going to be the last time I saw her, I winked playfully, turned around and began to walk away.

I knew I wasn't walking away from Jane, that would be impossible. After almost four centuries with her, I had pretty much accepted that she'd always be hovering around someway. I was, however, walking away from the Volturi. I was leaving the only home I'd ever really known, which was a poor example of a home to begin with. Since Nez barged into my life, I started to see that fact little by little as I spent more time with her. She taught me that a home involved love within it; and the Volturi possessed no love of any kind. The Volturi possessed greed, lust for power, hostility to its highest extent, but no love. I knew now that I had a real home.

And as of present, my destination and home was Forks, Washington.

I really couldn't remember my journey across seas to America, except that it seemed longer than it really was. My nerves were starting to catch up with me, and I realized that I got out of the Volturi, now I just had to get Renesmee back. That would probably prove to be a bigger challenge than the Volturi.

I wondered just exactly what I was going to say, and how she would react to it. If I was basing Nez off past experiences, she tended to take her emotions and act them out times ten. Renesmee never had a problem bitching me out when she saw fit to do so, and I expected no less from her now.

But out of all the things I expected as I watched her gracefully hunt down those two doe, -which by the way sort of turned me on- I had never prepared myself for what she did upon noticing me.

She attacked me, in more ways than one. I was completely taken by surprise, so much so that I couldn't even brace myself for it. One minute I was observing her godly like movements while she hunted, and the next I was on my back in the mud, with a very provoked Renesmee on top of me and pinning me down.

I stared at her face that was full of rage, her teeth that glowed in the soft moonlight. But she wasn't even looking at me. I mean, she was looking at me, but I don't really think was comprehending who I actually was. But I was waiting for her to, and I was waiting for her to try and attack me.

Though she took me by utter surprise once more as she leaned her head down and proceeded to slide her sharp teeth along the lines of my neck. She smelled so divine, just like I remembered: sweet lavender. Nez continued to explore my neck all the way up to my jaw with her tongue, and that was when I realized that she was totally lost in her hunger. What she was hungry for? Well, I had a pretty good idea that it no longer involved deer.

It wasn't before long that I could no longer handle the torture of the whole situation. She was moaning about how amazing I tasted, and after that I sort of snapped. So fourth, I acted irrationally, and might have in the process flipped her over and proceeded to take every little inch of her that I could in that particular position. Her body was so warm under me, and I welcomed the her heat that ricocheted onto me. Her lips were soft and delectable against mine, and it was in that moment just that I realized just how much I had missed the feel of them, or how her tongue sent electricity all throughout me.

I missed all of her, every particle of her, and now I was taking her back.

Of course, the passion of our moment subsided, and she realized what she was actually doing and who she was doing it with. Though I knew she was aware that it was me, she didn't want to admit it.

In fact, she didn't want to admit much of anything. When she told me how she felt, and saying how she didn't love me enough to really trust me or give me a second chance, I'm not going to lie and say that didn't burn a hole in my chest. It did, and it hurt more than words could really describe. I felt useless, unwanted, and though I could understand her reasoning for pushing me away, that still didn't take away the pain.

I had pleaded with her, desperate to make her see, but she wouldn't. She turned around and ran from me, leaving me alone in that damn forest with nothing but my thoughts of how much of a failure I was and her locket in my hand.

I'd stood in that same spot for several minutes. Hell, it could have been hours, I'm not really sure. I just know I kept thinking back to when the two of us were actually happy. Back when she was unaware of Aro's deceptive motives and my involvement in it. Back when she was so insistent on staying with me in Italy, back when she was willing to give everything she had just to be with me.

That was when I remembered that I had risked my life to be here, I had risked everything in me just to see her. I then came to the conclusion that what I did was not going to be for nothing, it wasn't going to be in vain. Nez couldn't scare me off that easily.

She didn't trust me? I would prove to her that I was trustworthy. I would change her mind. I would remind her of why she trusted me the first time around.

She didn't love me enough? Well, I loved her enough, and that was enough for me. Because honestly, I wasn't convinced that she didn't love me enough. Her love for me was enough before, and love doesn't fade that easily.

That's when I made my decision: I wasn't going anywhere. Not tomorrow, not the next day; basically, I was staying for good. I was where I wanted to be, where I was meant to be.

As soon as Renesmee realized that, we'd all be in good shape. But she's a stubborn one, that Cullen girl. I partially blame Edward for this.

After having my life altering moment alone in the forest…in Forks, I followed her scent back to her house, or rather the Cullen's house. I may not have been inside, but for some reason this just didn't feel like this would be her home. I doubted that Edward and Bella would stay in the house full of vampires where they had no privacy whatsoever. Besides, even if she did live here, that still didn't make it her home. I personally didn't see her settling down anywhere. She was meant to travel the world, to be anywhere she wanted to be, to make her own choices. Not surrounded by people telling her what to do and who she should be with. She wasn't made to be confined in a cage, she was made to fly like the free bird I knew she was.

It wasn't hard getting inside the house. She didn't even bother locking the door! Was she trying to invite strangers inside? Her family still wasn't around, and that kind of irked me to some level. I don't know why, but I mean, she just got back, and as soon as she returns they leave?

Families don't do that, not even mine, and I have the most dysfunctional one of all.

The first time I stepped into the Cullen's house was an almost like a Twilight Zone experience. Seeing their pictures on the wall, smelling the traces of their scents mixed with in another odor that made me want to gag. I assumed it was Jacob and his pack of pups. He had definitely been here recently. It bugged me, the thought of him being alone here with Renesmee.

Or…perhaps she wasn't alone.

Clear as day, I heard a heartbeat coming from upstairs, and it wasn't Nez's. The scent that followed the heartbeat smelled of spearmint gum or something. Strange scent. Who was this? Did Nez know them? I would hope she would know them, considering it was coming from upstairs, and I'm assuming they were sleeping in one of their beds.

Was it a guy, a human guy? I wouldn't blame Nez if she went in that direction, considering her history with Jake and I. Perhaps she had a craving for someone who was without supernatural elements. Maybe she thought it would make things in their relationship less stressful.

I'm going to kill him in his sleep.

I swiftly headed upstairs, following the scent and the continuous heartbeat that practically begged to be stopped. I was rapidly making my way down the hall, not caring at this point if I woke Nez up or not.

Once I knew where the human was, I opened the door quickly, only to be taken by complete surprise. It was not a guy that I was, but a girl scrawled out across the bed with her mouth hung open and her brown hair in her face, snoring loudly as ever.

Good lord. What the hell was this thing?

I left the room and quickly went into the next room just as quietly as I went into the last.

Nez's room.

Looking at Nez, I could she didn't bother with changing clothes. She was still wearing the muddy jeans and shirt and her shoes were still on. Her face was covered in dry tears, reassuring me that I was making the right decision by staying. She'll see it my way, it's only a matter of time. Taking the necklace from my pocket, I unclipped it and placed it around her neck, making sure it stayed where it belonged. Once I did that, I gently moved the hair from Nez's porcelain face. My finger traced the outline of her cheek as I brushed a kiss on top of her forehead.

"…I'll make you believe…I swear."

With that said, I took a glance around the quiet room and I went out the window before the sun rose completely.

Once I knew that both Nez and the human girl were awake and Jacob was no where to be found near the house, I listened in momentarily. After small talk with the human girl named Duckie, about baseball and deer, I took it as my cue to step in. I was a second away from kissing Nez, when the human disturbed us.

Why do we keep forgetting to lock the door? You would think we would of learned by now to check those things before anything else.

Duckie was a lot prettier awake than she was asleep. She had a smooth, tanned complexion, dark, wavy hair and brown eyes. She was clearly not from around here from what I can tell. She had a slight Italian accent, which made me curious as to where Nez met her; before or after the events that took place? Clearly she was a decent friend to Nez considering she apparently knew about me. I think.

"I'm sorry, what did you call me?" I asked, wondering if she just called me what I think she just called me. Because I'm pretty sure she was still referring to my dick like before, only this time to my face.

She had no shame at all. This one.

"Mr. Peter, duh." She said, smirking. "I'd ask what's going on here, but clearly I've just walked into a PG-13 porno. Lucky me."

I looked at Nez questionably, silently asking her if this was normal for her friend to call people by their male parts. But she just shrugged me off. not saying anything.

Apparently this was all too normal.

Great.

I guess Nez was ashamed about our interaction being caught by her blunt friend, because she was still trying to straighten herself out. Her towel was slipping from her chest and her doe-like eyes were suddenly glancing in my direction and back, trying to come up with a explanation at to what I was doing here. Though I can't really be sure. Her mute response was making this situation a lot more awkward then it actually is.

What's the shame in having me here? It's not like we hadn't done more before and been caught. But then again Nez was easily embarrassed by these things. Me, I just get angry.

I mean, I was just a second's time away from proving my point to Renesmee, and this Duck girl had to walk in. What a bothersome human she must be to people she was related to.

"We…he…um, actually…Alec was just leaving." Nez said, her voice cracking as a blush graced her beautiful face, making her even more desirable.

I smirked and shook my head.

"Really?" Duckie said, still smirking, nodding her head softly.

"Yes, of course."

I looked at Nez, my eyes narrowing as I did so.

_Is she kidding me?_

"I'm not going anywhere," I said causally, not skipping a beat.

Nez shot me a glare as Duckie broke out into laughter, obviously trying to hold it all in but doing a real pissed poor job at it. I didn't see what was so funny about all this. I was dead serious. I wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't leaving. Nothing was going to come in my way of getting what I wanted. If I could get my freedom from Aro, then I sure as hell can get Nez to forgive me and trust me like I knew she did deep down. It'll be a piece of cake compared to some of the battles I've seen. She was toast.

As for her friend? I was shocked to find that she acting as if she liked me or something, considering my past that she knew of. Did Nez not tell her everything, did she keep it to herself because she was ashamed? Or did Duckie know something I didn't?

It didn't matter much to me that Duckie knew very little, she wasn't the one I was trying to win brownie points with. However, I knew how girls worked. Once the best friend liked you, you're in on the good graces. Though seeing at how Duckie was looking at me now, I highly doubt it'd take much to get her on my side of things.

Her demeanor just screamed that she was a sex addict, by the way she was staring and licking her plump lips. It was like she was a lioness in heat, and I was the defenseless male who was about to get jumped.

Yes, she scared the shit out of me. Quite frankly, I was starting to get a little uncomfortable in her presence, and that was saying a lot, considering she's human and all.

"Okay, well I'm glad we got that settled. Cookie, we'll talk about this later. We need food, I want Twinkles, Ho Hos and Ding Dongs! Give me the Hostess products, woman. Stat!"

Nez signed, clearly annoyed at the request and quickly left the room with her clothes in hand. I was literally a step behind her when she turned around abruptly and shoved me back.

"When I get back, you better not be here, Alec. Go home." She demanded, failing miserably if she thought she was actually intimidating me. "Duckie, if he's here for more then five minutes, call Jake."

"Yeah, okay, sure, I'll do that." Duckie mumbled sarcastically, fidgeting with her nails as a smile came upon her lips.

Before I could say anything, she was out of the room, leaving me with my own thoughts and….Duckie.

As I turned look at her, she smiled so bright that it took up more than half her face, a twinkle in her eye that made me rather uneasy. Without a word, Duckie started circling me as if I was a piece of art ready to be sold. I cringed at the thought of what could possibly going through her head. I hadn't known the girl long but I knew enough. She was attracted. Most girls are when it came to vampires, however I highly doubt she'd be as subtle about it as most humans were.

The thing I didn't understand about this one was that Felix seemed to know her. Unless I was imagining things, Duckie had to know the existence of vampires. Yet she was still alive. Felix must not of realized it. I sure as hell wouldn't say anything considering killing her would definitely rule out my relationship with Nez.

"You perplex me, Duckie." I said, watching her as she continued to circle around me like a hawk.

She cocked an eyebrow. "I'm not surprised. I usually take people off guard with my striking personality…" Duckie flashed a grin, revealing a row of white teeth, linking her fingers together behind her back.

"It's not your personality that I'm confused by," I shook my head. "It's your attitude towards me…don't you know about what I did?" I asked, genuinely curious about what she did or didn't know.

She sighed and stopped pacing, folding her arms across her chest, a serious expression coming over her features.

"Yeah, I know. But don't mistake my attitude towards you for something else. I simply just see what Cookie can't: men are idiots and they're going to fall short on several occasions. It's to be expected that you screwed up, but obviously you're trying to get her back, so that shows that you might actually give a shit. That, I can respect."

"…Cookie?" I asked, confused at why cookies were involved in the conversation.

Duckie rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air.

"My point exactly; men are morons! I give you a whole sentence, and all you absorb is a small fraction of it, one that was the least important part of it!"

My eyes narrowed at her statement. I really didn't want to bite her head off, but it was beginning to be a challenge. Did she just insult me? She did, and she seemed to enjoy doing so. I suppose in a way I sort of admired her for it; it'd been a long time since anyone besides Nez and Jane has had the nerve to piss me off. But still, that didn't mean I enjoyed it.

I gritted my teeth together, forcing a smile onto my face.

I needed to change the subject.

"You're not really going to call the Mutt on me, are you?" I questioned, recalling Renesmee to order Duckie to call Jacob if I stayed five minutes longer. It wasn't as if I couldn't stop Duckie from doing so, but I really didn't want to have to use force. Once again, any bad move I made would hurt me in the end when it came to Nez.

This whole trying to be a nice guy is going to be harder than I thought.

"What, and put myself in a disastrous situation that would end up in me being a vamp/wolf sandwich? I'd rather masturbate while listening to Justin Bieber." She scoffed, looking disgusted at the thought.

Two words lingered in my head from her sentence. The first made me feel slightly nauseated, and the second had something to do with a beaver or something.

"Justin who?"

"Exactly."

"…I'm confused."

"I know, and I'm rapidly starting to tire of this conversation; it's clear you can't keep up with one." Duckie shook her head as if she felt sorry for me. The next thing I knew, her hand was coming in contact with my ass, forcefully.

I grimaced as she slapped it, trying to refrain from breaking her hand.

"SO! I suggest that you remove yourself from my presence and go grocery shopping with Biscotto…now!"

_Grocery shopping…what the hell is a grocery and why would Nez be shopping for one?_

Oh, wait. I'd heard this. It was food. Right. Shopping for food.

I'm such newbie.

Duckie appeared to be quite serious when she demanded me to leave, because she proceeded to shove my back -pitifully- out of Nez's room.

"Stop touching me, please." I groaned, stepping out of her grasp. She only smirked and made a hand gesture that instructed me to shoo. I didn't hesitate as I briskly turned my back on the abnormal human and continued to practically fly down the staircase and away from her.

"I can see Felix has his hands full with that one…" I muttered underneath my breath, hopefully too quiet for her to hear. Thankfully, I didn't get a reply.

I stepped outside and onto the front porch, immediately greeted with the slight scent of snow. Small flurries fell from the grey sky, and landing on the already white ground. It couldn't have been more than an inch that covered the floor of the earth, but it was definitely enough to be noticeable.

Now fully clothed, Nez was already outside and getting into what I assumed was her car, grumbling in a hushed voice. What kind of car it was, I really didn't know, nor did I care. It had wheels, and I was getting in it. She zipped up her leather jacket before stepping into the car. This was my cue.

Within a seconds time, I was in the passenger seat right next to her, smiling broadly as she yelped loudly, jumping from surprise. She frowned upon realizing it was me.

"What are you doing?" She demanded, her eyes bugging out wildly. It looked sort of cute actually. I'd have to do this more often. Yes, my plan was to annoy the shit out of her until she snapped. I'd never purposely put all my effort into making someone crazy, but how hard could it be? I just had to know what to say…

"Well, to be honest, I can't remember the last time I've been on a car ride…hell, I've probably never been on a car ride." I said casually, leaning back into the seat. "I thought it'd be special if my first time was while you were behind the wheel…you know how I've always enjoyed your rides…" I breathed, cocking an eyebrow at her as I smirked.

Without delay, blood rushed to her cheeks, welcoming a warm pink shade. Lovely.

I knew I shouldn't have said it, but I couldn't resist her reactions to the things I said. Renesmee couldn't hide anything, and I absolutely loved it.

"I'm glad one of us enjoyed them," she retorted after a moment, smiling smugly as if she had actually insulted me. Silly girl. She ought to realize that I saw straight through her. I knew better. If there was ever anything I was confident about, it'd be my performance in bed. I'm not going to be modest and say I don't know what I'm doing, because I do. After three centuries, you get good at that sort of thing.

So, I'll be damned if I'd think that Nez didn't enjoy what I gave her. It was a bunch of horseshit, and we both knew it.

But, for the sake of playing along, I gasped in fake horror, touching my chest delicately.

"Why, Miss Cullen, you wound me! I don't think I'll be able to recover from such a harsh blow…I-"

"Oh, _shut up_! Just get out of my car and leave!" She snapped, pointing outside the window.

"I'm okay here, thanks." I said, reaching over and grabbing what I imagined to be the seat belt, pulling it across my body and clicking it into the holder thing.

These things were supposed to keep people safe, really? What is this, leather? I knew I didn't really need it, but I figured I should get the full experience.

"Alec…" She said in a warning tone, one that didn't phase me a bit.

"So, grocery shopping, huh?"

"Not with you," she growled, her hands clenched onto the steering wheel. I could feel the heat of her body escalating as anger invaded her. She was practically fuming at my fingertips. But I wasn't going to give in. I was determined.

No one could be as determined as I was at this point. I was a man on a mission, and would do whatever it took to win, even if it made taking the situation to an uncomfortable level.

There were five things I was positive about: one, if there was a will, there's a way. Two: Renesmee still loved me. Though she said it wasn't enough, I knew she just in denial. Three: we were alone. The Cullens, as I expected, were absent thankfully. I couldn't have them bashing my plans. Four: there's one thing I knew about Nez…when it came to me, her willpower was as strong as a toothpick. I know that sounds conceited but it's the honest truth. Plus, I'm the same way with her. We were each other's toothpicks.

And number five, the most important of all, she still had that damn necklace on. Call me crazy, but if she didn't care as she claimed, one would think she would have disposed of the necklace a long time ago. She had the time to do so, she just chose not to. For a reason.

As she continued to send death glares towards me, I smirked in triumph. That little wall around her heart was coming down faster than she had anticipated. Which was excellent on my end.

"Fine, you can stay if you want. You can come to the grocery store with me, spend the night at my house, but let me make something very clear to you: every moment you stay here, I will make sure it's a living hell for you." She said darkly, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "You thought Aro was bad? I'll make you wish that you were dead, you'll get so fed up. Sooner or later, I'll make you _want _to leave."

"Do you really think you have up on me? Renesmee, I've lived with Jane for three centuries. You're a piece of cake in compassion. Don't embarrass yourself."

Who was she kidding? If anyone who could be easily annoyed, it'd be Renesmee. But to drive someone away herself? I was a professional at keeping everything under control. I've been emotionless and blank for over three hundred years, not really caring about anything. Practically nothing phased me, so it was going to be amusing to see Nez try and attempt to drive me away.

I had nerves of steel.

Three minutes into the drive, and I was already wanting to shoot myself dead.

I had to give Nez props. She knew her stuff; how to word things, what tone to use, how to obnoxiously giggle when mentioning Jacob's dick size.

Yes, she brought him up, and used him to bait me. The very name coming off of her lips and using the word sex in the same sentence had me wanting to jump out of the car. Literally, I had my hand on the handle, ready to leap.

I had clear images. She left none to the imagination. My Nez with the dog; _mine. _I thought she had some dignity, some self respect, some limits.

Apparently I was mistaken. Apparently, she lost all that the moment I got in the car.

I was about to turn this conversation into something a little more pleasant, but she shot me in the gut before I had a chance to even start moving my lips.

"I mean, really, how do you think he is performance wise? Are you worried? You should be, because honestly, he has a few years on you…which would make him more developed. You know what they say about how an older a man gets the more he ripens.

_Mmm._

"What nicknames would I call him in bed, do you think? The Alpha…Chief…_My Jacob._ Oh yeah, I like the sound of that one."

Each word was like needles stabbing my skin over and over. Worse even. Like putting baby oil on a open wound and walking outside to let it cook. I've never used the stuff personally, but I imagine it to be very painful.

I tried desperately going to a happy place, somewhere in my mind that wasn't being polluted with such disgusting thoughts, where I was happy and with Nez, but I couldn't. Not with her speaking such complete filth. Did she even realize what she was saying?

I knew she was lying, I did, but hearing her say it was so disgusting and wrong. And every time I thought she would stop talking, she proved me wrong, adding on the nasty taste in my mouth and my instinct to go back to the Cullen's house, find Jacob and kill him in his sleep.

It wouldn't take any effort at all. One little snap of the neck and he wouldn't be breathing and I wont ever have to have Nez wondering the possibility of sleeping with him. Not that it was a real concern but still. I like the idea of not worrying about it at all.

"And I know how I said that I couldn't conceive, but I still sometimes find myself wondering what our children would look like. What with my pale skin and his rustic skin…the mixing of it would create a beautiful complexion, don't you think, like caramel?"

_Stop talking._

"I'm so glad that I have someone like him. I know that he'll always be there for me, no matter what. Be whatever I need him to be. My everything. We have a bond, the two of us. It's unbreakable. Sure, he's with Leah now and she's expecting his kids, but seriously? He's Imprinted on me, and I think we all know who he'd choose if it came down to it. In fact, I should hurry up the process and just go ahead and do it now."

I stared out the windshield, gripping onto the handle of the door so tightly it was starting to break in my hand. I didn't care if I was causing damages to her car; she was doing so much worse to me right now. Physical agony.

I somehow managed to tune her out a little for a couple of seconds, and was more than relieved when she started pulling into a gas station.

"Just have to make a little pit stop," she informed me, smiling to herself as she pulled up to one of the pumps, taking the key out of the ignition and stepping out of the car.

I was at first thinking that maybe I'd get a couple minute break from the horrible rambling, but no. She decided to leave the door open, talking to me while she pumped the gas outside the car. And for some reason, I just sat there. I think by this point I had become absolutely speechless. My mind not able to process the ability to move. It was like I enjoyed this pain.

If I had living brain cells to lose, I'd be losing them rapidly right now. She would be killing them.

"I remember this one time a couple of years ago, Jake and I went camping for a couple of days, just the two of us. See, my parents were going away for the weekend, and Jake thought it'd be fun if he took me out. Oh, it was so fun…laughing by the campfire, sleeping under the stars, eating s'mores…"

"You're very talented, Nez, but even the flea bag couldn't pull me away from you." I declared, giving her a smirk.

Nez then finished the gas and walked into the tiny store. After merely seconds, she reappeared, coming back and starting the car back up, her eyes coming back to my face.

I smiled and wiggled my eye brows at her. She glared and returned a wicked smile, one that told me this game of hers could only get worse.

"You know…I'm glad Jacob doesn't bug you. It really speaks volume for your character."

"Does it really?" I asked, grabbing the bridge of my nose in my thumb and index finger. I sighed and kept my eyes closed as I leaned my head back into the seat. If vampires could get headaches, I'm sure I'd be experiencing one right now.

"I mean, of course if you had good character. Tell me, Alec, did you go to Aro everyday while I was Italy? Give him notes on the status of our relationship? I bet he was thrilled when you told him we kissed, right? Did he give you a pat on the back?"

I froze at the very mention of Aro's plan, my body tensing as she chuckled.

Unbelievable.

She was dead. She was as good as gone the moment she brought that shit up. I don't know how at the moment but payback was in her immediate future. I was hoping that she'd drop it, that she wouldn't be this cruel but of course she was a woman of her word. She was making me literally want to leave.

Almost, anyways.

I thought I could handle the pain of her words. I thought I could handle anything she threw at me.

I have been tolerant for the past three months, after all. But the fact that she said them so casually; that's what made me want to go over the edge. I wanted to rip her into two, and make her pay for acting so carelessly, but I kept cool. I would not show her effect on me now. Not in a public place .

"No? How hard was it for you to pretend you cared? I mean being a heartless monster, I assume it was quite difficult. You should win a award. Grammy's or something." She said coldly as she turned the car into the store's parking lot. I followed her inside wordlessly, unsure of what to say or what to do.

I wanted to kill her, to literally take her out of her misery and mine. But I loved her too much to do that now. Yes, even as she said this I couldn't help how I felt. It was out of my control. A force I hadn't expected. And my mind was racing to that day. The day I last saw her, thinking about how I could of made this better, how I could of told her.

I would do anything right now to make this discomfort disappear. Mine and hers. She acted like it was nothing but I knew better. It still didn't ease my frustration though. In fact, the more she spoke the more angry I got.

How dare she make me feel like this? She made it seem as if we were nothing, she just wrote us off as a joke to throw around.

With each step we took in the small grocery store, the irritation inside me began to boil. I was a walking volcano with the need for revenge rushing through my veins.

After a long hour of shopping for pointless human food, and not saying a word to Renesmee, she decided it was best that we went back to the house. I wasn't going to complain. I wasn't going to say anything. If I knew anything about Renesmee Cullen, it was that she liked my reactions on things. She liked to see she could get under my skin, only this time I wasn't going to allow her to enjoy this one.

I was going to mute the entire time I'm here if it got across the message. It'll bug the shit out of her but at this given time I could careless about what she wanted. What she needed now was punishment. And so far my plans of retaliation was coming up short. I had to think this one through. So far now? I'll just pretend everything was perfect. Easier said than done, I can promise you.

She was unbearable all the way to the house, talking about how I ruined her life. That I should be proud of everything I did because it made Aro proud.

I wanted to tell her the hell with it all and she can go on being a child about all of this, when really I knew better than to do that. She was hurt. She was responding as a hurt person would, I suppose. Out of anger from me coming back into her life and making her feel things she didn't think she felt anymore.

Maybe this what I needed. To listen to her speak about how everything was hell for her. Because maybe if I read between the lines, I can see that my Renesmee was still in this person beside me, that I hadn't lost her at all.

"You're not speaking? C'mon now, tell me all about how torturous it was for you, sleeping with a Cullen half-breed. Go on…no need to be shy now." Her was all innocent and childlike as she reached over and pinched my cheek. I turned my head and I narrowed my eyes at her, and her brown eyes looked back at me with the same annoyance only there was no life coming from them anymore, not like they used to. That scared me slightly.

I knew deep down though that I could bring her back to herself. I had to. No one else was going to be able to do it. No one could care as much as I did. Whether she got a boyfriend in the future or not. I was the one for her and she was the one for me. She just had to come back and see it for herself.

"Oh, and sweetie?" Nez said, lower her face towards my mine, her voice lowering into a whisper as she caressed my cheek, making me feel ill with such fake compassion. I sat there completely frozen as I looked at her, her lips then gently touching, making my heart break at the contact. "I'll make sure Jacob enjoys my rides just as much as you did. Only this time it'll mean something."

With that said she was out of the car, grabbing the groceries from the backseat and stalking towards the house.

I closed my eyes and tried to breathed through my nose. As I counted to ten before becoming rash.

_One._

_Two_.

_Three. _I'm. Going. To. Kill. Her.

_Four. _She wont even realize that it's happening.

_Five…._Just one more minute-

_Only this time, it'll mean something…_

That's it. I'm done.

With vampire speed I raced towards the house and pounced on Renesmee, pushing her into the first thing that she came in contact with. Food dropped instantly to the floor as I pushed myself against her body harshly, not care if I hurt her at all. My hands gripped her arms, squeezing them tightly as she gulped. Her eyes became wide in fear as her body became dead weight in my hands. Her heart beat rising to a unbearable level, and her face became pale white. Upon the impact, a picture on the wall fell from the wall and crashed by our feet. I didn't even bother looking at it.

I then gripped her face in my left hand roughly, forcing her to look at me. She shook against me, and the smell of fear rolled off her body as she stared at me in horror.

"You can say a lot of things about me, Renesmee Cullen; half of them are probably more than true. You can say I've killed thousands of people without so much a blink and I would not say a word. But pushing the fact that Jacob was meant to be the man you lay with every night is another thing. Even though, and it pains me to say this, that on some level you're right, because he did 'choose' you for himself. But don't you ever, _EVER_, say that what we shared meant nothing to me.

"I have lived these three months in complete agony over the worries that I would never see you again. Yet here you are, acting like a spoiled, naïve child…and as if it were a joke, when I've done all of this for you…" I smiled bitterly and shook my head, recalling her ridiculous statement. "Jacob enjoying your rides? I think not." I hissed as I grinded myself into her pelvis, grabbing her hips in my hands, which caused her to moan out the loudest I've ever heard from her or anyone else. The sound caused my pants to instantly become tighter, and I began to throb with the need to feel her.

_Out of all the times to want her, it's when I'm pissed at her…_

Figures.

"I'm. Not. Going. Anywhere." I stated, taking her lips with mine, and purposely moving against her with every word that I spoke, increasing the pressure of my movements. I was going to make sure she was more then aware of my current status.

My hands explored her curves as she bucked against me, as her hands desperately searched against my neck and shoulders, caressing me with her fingertips. I brought my lips down her jaw and suckled roughly, my teeth bracing against her creamy skin.

Why did she have to taste so damn arousing?

There was no kindness in my actions towards her. No gentleness; she didn't deserve any. My movements were harsh and vulgar but I had no complaints from her. Not that I cared much. If anything, I was getting a standing ovation and it felt amazing to get that kind of reaction from her. She felt so good, her body melting into mine as I pulled into her closer and much harder then before. My eyes sealed shut as pleasure invaded my body, effecting me everywhere. My judgment was starting to cloud. I couldn't tell anymore where her body began and mine ended. This movement wasn't anything but built up lust being explored, showing her what I was capable of.

She felt warm and ready for anything I could give her, her breasts hardening at the simple contact of my fingers, her body trembling as fear still remained inside of her. It didn't conflict me at all; I wanted her to feel it. I craved her to feel more. I wanted her to be punished for ever thinking she could push me away for ever thinking that this, what we were doing meant nothing. Because damn it, it meant everything.

It meant absolutely everything to me.

It was this, right here, right now. This is what I almost died trying to achieve, this is what was worth dying for. And she didn't even realize it.

Everything was magnified a hundred times now. My body wanted nothing more than to descend into her and to make her beg for mercy, make her wish she never doubted my loyalties to her.

I wanted her to feel what she was claiming to be void and dead. I wanted her to experience it, to get a taste of it. I just wanted her to freaking level with me for once, and it seemed that this was the only way I could really get her to lower her guard around me.

So be it.

Nez's skin sizzled against mine, beams of heat rolling off of her body and brushing against my chilled skin. I groaned out loud, the sound causing her to whimper, which made me cry out again. I braced her body against the wall harder, practically slamming her into it, as I continued to work her neck, refusing to go back to those lips of hers.

She was going to kill me completely if she kept that shit up. Oh, how I missed her cries for me. Just the thought of them got me ready and hard. I was slowly, but surely, losing control now. But I had to remain firm. I had to show her that despite what it looks like, I wanted something more from her than just sex. I had to make her realize her mistake was misjudging me and her wrongs in her mockery of me earlier.

But I was so conflicted.

Damn it, I wanted to be inside her. I wanted to be swallowed whole by her, and feel those tight walls contract around me once again, to feel that warmth wrapped around me. I wanted to take her now against this damn wall.

I wanted this heat everywhere. I wanted her body, her apologizes. I wanted everything. And by the looks of things, I wasn't far from getting any of those things. She wasn't refusing me. She wasn't pushing me away and she wasn't telling me to go to hell. By the urgency of her body, she was edging me on. Encouraging it.

I shouldn't of let her stop last night, shouldn't of even given her the opinion because now I was desperate for release. It'd been too long since I'd had her, and she wasn't helping the situation right now; she practically screamed for me to take her. And I could, I could easily have my way with her and she wouldn't put up a fight, but like many times before, I needed to know she trusted me. Even though right now, I could probably care less.

I probably shouldn't of said anything and continued to fool around with her, but I was an idiot who wanted her to feel bad. I wanted her to be on her hands and knees for me. That's just how pissed off I really was.

"Tell me no one has satisfied you like I have." I whispered into her ear, nipping at her neck, pressing her sweet slender body against my growing awareness.

Her eyes widened, and then the next thing I knew, she was trying to push me away, without succession. I was too strong for her to fight off. But still her admits were admired greatly. I didn't even realize I said something wrong until it was too late. But I didn't take them back. I had every intention on making her pay.

"I told you, I would make it a living hell for you Alec…" She whispered back, acting like none of our actions phased her. Just a normal after noon in the Cullen house.

I knew better. Her heart was rapidly speeding in her chest; hr hands clinging to my hair, and her voice was shaky, coming out in gasps.

Normal day in the Cullen house, my ass.

"You brought it too far."

"Did I? What did you expect me to do? Sleep with you and tell you later that it meant nothing? Would that have been better? Is that how a true pro does it?"

My hold on her became tighter as my body tensed. Before I knew I felt that urge again, the kind where I had no control over my powers. When Nez got a eyesight of the mist that slowly began to creep around us, she narrowed her eyes like she wasn't at all scared. But I heard her heart beat racing on a all new high.

I focused on calming the hell down so I could get the damn mist to evaporate.

"_Stop_ throwing that in my face. I told you I was sorry. Do not tease me. I warned in a voice that even scared me a little.

Nez shook her head as she wiggled in my grasp, but not winning at the slightest. She was stuck between the wall and my body, going exactly where I was: no where. I tried to contract on the mist but something's are better said than done. She had pushed me too far with this. Her words still echoed in my head, only fueling the fire inside of me. The frustration.

I always knew that Nez brought the best in me. I just didn't know she was capable of breaking out the worst as well. But she could. She brought me to the point that I almost felt like my old self. And I had no one to blame but myself.

Actually, that's a lie. This was all her fault. If she had accepted my apologize-no- If she had listened to me back in Italy about not listening to those morons, we wouldn't be in this mess. If she hadn't been so stubborn, we wouldn't have to suffer this way. She was punishing only herself, in my eyes. Though it was annoying that she would go this far. Quite frankly, it pissed me off to no end.

Why couldn't girls be simpler? Why did they have to make themselves look brave? Did Nez think that if she gave into me like she wanted that I would see her as weak, or that her family would? Or Jacob for that matter? I hardly think I would think that way, but maybe Nez did. Maybe she was scared of what others would think of her?

Was Nez that insecure?

Suddenly, without realizing it, Nez's body went limp against me, and the only thing holding her up was me, and my pelvis. Her eyes looked somewhat glazed over.

"You-"

"I can't feel my legs…sure fine way to getting my heart.."

I raised a eyebrow.

"I've already have it." I said quickly, placing my hand over her chest.

She flinched to my touch, provoking me to lean in towards her face. She hissed at me, gritting her teeth together, and proceeded to push me away from her. She shifted her gave from my face, acting like a spoiled. Like she really was seven after all.

"Stop trying to bait me. I'm unaffected. Last night? I was being kind. I don't want you."

"Do you even hear yourself, Renesmee?""You're not listening to me. I'm tired of telling-"

"I love you. Even when you tell me shitty things about Jacob, even when you say stuff you don't mean. I'll still love you. Doesn't that effect you at all?" I questioned, cupping her face in my hands.

The mist was very slowly fading as I did, calming my nerves in the process. I tried to make my voice sound as sincere as I was. I looked deep into her eyes, hoping to see any flicker of emotions. There was none. And It made me furious, so furious that it left me with no choice.

I gripped her cheeks in my hand and pulled her face towards mine, crushing my lips to hers forcefully, biting her lower lip. She tried to fight me off, but her shield of self control was being weakened. She wanted this not five seconds ago. She can't tell me this shit can happen twice and her say it was a accident. I may not be in the real world much, but I wasn't born yesterday. She may not want me in a romantic sort of way, but I'd be damned if she said she didn't want me in a physical way. That was a start. I'd just to move on up from. Couldn't be to hard, could it?

The kiss was short, her mouth soft but stiff as she kept her mouth closed. But the kiss held a promise on my end. A promise that said this wasn't the end for us. This wasn't what I nearly died for. But I got my point across, she quit fighting me. But then she pulled away very slowly, her breathing becoming uneven, as the heat of the kiss lingered on both our mouths. she looked at me with hazy eyes.

Just by the intensity of her gaze, she didn't need to tell me what she was thinking. It was like we had a unspoken connection. One I had to reply to.

"Denying yourself wont make it less real, Renesmee." I said, as I smoothed out her hair with my fingers. Her hair felt like silk to the touch. Hell, her whole body felt like that to me. She was my personal silk pillow that I would sleep with every night if I could. I must of been caught off guard or just to concerned with everyone around me, because the next thing I knew she shoved me off hard. Harder then I knew she could and gave me a evil glare. One that actually scared me to death, had I'd been living.

Thee light in her eyes were still missing, her face cold and blank. She started towards the stairs without saying anything, but I went for her hand and held her in place. She pulled back, looking at the floor avoiding eye contact with me.

"Stay away from me."

"Nez…"

"I mean it. You shouldn't be here. You had the time to tell me the truth a long time ago. But you choose not to Alec. And if you did, I would of-"

"Ran like hell…" I snapped, pulling her to me. She was stiff and unmoving; not even my own strength could win this one. You can't hold a statue and make it move. And that was exactly what Renesmee was in my embrace. A statue. My heart sank in my chest. As I tried to reason with all of this.

"I would have been grateful for your honesty. Now it's too late. You can't come here and expect everything to be as it was. I'm not the same naïve person I once was. I want you to go away. I want you to never think back, and I just want you to leave me alone. Stop hurting me, over and over."

I gaped at her as she turned towards the stairs and ran, stopping half way and looking back at me with a serious face, one that I wanted to wipe off . I wanted her to burst into laughter telling me she was only joking like she had before. But the moment never came. I missed her laugh. I missed the sound, and the fact that I probably would never really hear it again scared me more than the Volturi. She was right. She had changed, she was lost.

I didn't want this girl in front of me. I wanted my Nez. The one who went on random shopping sprees in foreign countries, the one who told me when I was full of shit and when I was in denial. Now? Now she was the one who was full of it, and the thing was, I think she was more stubborn than me. She was more willing to be sad and depressed than me, and I didn't think that was possible.

I had so many mixed feelings now. Rage, hurt and still valid from our fooling around. My body was like a live wire; any minute I expect my heart to jump to life and then die again. All because she's rejecting me.

"You say you don't regret that night?" She asked, her voice low and innocent, as her eyes became watery.

"Not a second of it." I said, keeping my face completely serious, looking her dead in the eye, wanting to comfort her.

"Then I'll regret it for the both of us. I shouldn't have fell in love with you. I shouldn't of ran away, and now is the time to make it right. We're not meant to be together. you're you. I'm me. A Cullen and a Volturi. I wish you would just grasp that fact…like I have."

Before I could fight her on her logic as to why we couldn't be together, she disappeared, bolting up the stairs, slamming the door to her room behind her.

I didn't run after her. I didn't try to tell her she was full of shit when she was indeed full of it. Because I can understand why she felt that way. I'm not saying we weren't meant to be together, because that's not true, but I understand why she feels us being together is impossible. Because I felt the same way not to long ago. Only my reasoning's for it made more sense then hers. She was telling me this now because she's scared of letting me in. I was saying it because I was stuck with Aro forever, and now I'm not.

The tables really have changed so much for us. But I knew Nez. I knew she didn't believe anything she was saying. None of it. I could tell in her eyes she was lying. She bit her lip more times then I could count during that whole speech about what's meant to be and stuff. Well, I know what's meant to be. We were.

People might think we're two fools for being in love but God himself would not be ashamed. Yes, the idea of us is outlandish but I knew deep down that we control our own destiny. She was mine. She was who I choose. Therefore the idea made sense. We made sense. She was my balance. The sun to my moon, the light to my dark. She said we weren't meant to be? Well, I happen to be a believer in fate now. I believe there was a reason why I was chosen to be her guard, there's a reason why she was born. Hell, there was a reason why I was still living, stuck in this teenager's body.

I was made to match her.

It was all apart of a plan. For us.

She just needed to open her eyes and see the bigger picture. But how was I suppose to do that? I was just about to open the front door and clear my head, when I heard a sneeze coming from the kitchen. And it wasn't just a sneeze, it was one of those really dainty, pristine sneezes, ones that barely make a sound. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not here…just looking for food. That's on the floor. Seriously? I'm not picking this up alone…" Duckie said, coming from the kitchen, gesturing to the food that still laid on the floor. I looked at it and bent down and started cleaning it up, helping her as she gathered the bag of chips.

"How long were you here?"

"Long enough to know the trip to the store went bad. Sorry. I didn't mean to listen to your porno talk. Not that it wasn't hot or anything. I'm innocent. I swear."

I shook head and waved my hand, stopping her.

"It didn't get far anyway. She'll come around." I said, as I handed her a bag of cookies. But not before reading the label and laughing. Oreo's apparently was milk's favorite. I didn't even think it had feelings on cookies…strange humans.

"You know, you're very determined to win her back…" The Duck Girl said.

I nodded at her comment and laughed, standing up with the bag of food. We walked to the kitchen, and I placed the contraband on the kitchen table. Duckie got the bag of chips and sat on the counter, sighing. I didn't know much about kitchens but I knew when I was a human we didn't do this. Though I highly doubt the Cullens would mind it. They weren't here after all. And she apparently was invited to stay, to keep Nez company.

It made me wonder where Jacob was, but I wasn't going to bring him up and ask, because I've had enough talk of him to last me a life time.

"Well, I love her. I never meant to hurt her." I informed Duckie, sitting in a chair, running my hands through my hair. Duckie nodded. Throwing a hand full of chips into her mouth.

"I believe it," she said, as crumbs fell onto her shirt. I smiled sadly.

"I wish she did."

I nodded in the direction where Nez left me. Duckie looked where I was looking and frowned, her lips pouting as she looked down. She was like a child this one. Then again she was compared to me.

"What was she like, before…?" She inquired softly. I turned and rubbed my face in my hand, trying to think of what to tell her.

"Beautiful. Jealous. Full of life."

Duckie nodded and grabbed another hand full of chips.

"Jealous, huh?"

"Very. Once we went shopping -she forced me to- and there was this clerk who looked at me…well, kind of like you do."

Duckie giggled approvingly, and I rolled my eyes, trying to continue. I hid a smile that wanted to break through.

"Nez looked at her like she was going for-" I stopped myself, thinking about the face she made. Then suddenly, a idea come to me.

"Like what?" Duckie pressed, giving me a puzzled expression. I smirked and stood up. Reaching for my new cell phone, I dialed the numbers before I could even process what the hell I was doing. Duckie jumped off the counter and ran to my side curiously, looking at me with excitement.

"You calling Felix?"

"No." I said, hushing her. Duckie pouted, but still watched with curiosity, calling me a bitch under her breath. I glared and waited for someone to pick up the phone. Wondering if I dialed the wrong phone or something.

After three rings she finally did. Though at the moment I couldn't tell if this was a good thing or a bad thing. But what was done, was done. There was no turning back now. I needed her help. If anyone could get Renesmee to realize her feelings for me, it was her. After all she has been dealing with hers for centuries.

"Alexander?"

"You're not going to bolt from me this time, are you Adeline?" I asked darkly, turning to look at Duckie, who had her arms crossed. She was figuring out it was a woman on the other end. I couldn't tell if she was happy or pissed at me for doing this, but I knew she understood all too well. Duckie then hovered near my face to listen in on the phone call, nearly pressing her cheek against my own.

I held my breath. She was a human after all, and it'd been too long since I'd last fed.

Damn.

Adeline chuckled on the other end, giving me a distraction from the lustful scent.

I hadn't seen Addie since we kissed. I hadn't even thought about it because I didn't want to think about it. But now? Now I needed her. I needed her more than ever.

I needed her to get Nez back.

"Well, I figured you had a lot of explaining to do with the huge dumb guy. Sorry. Not my scene." Addie said, as I shrugged at Duckie who was muttering about how Adeline called Felix dumb.

I rolled my eyes and pushed her and the temptation in the direction of the door. Not too hard though, because it would end with her being throwing into the wall, but enough to make her get the point. She wasn't needed for this. The look she was giving meant disapproval but I was desperate. She knew this.

"How fast can you get to Forks, Washington?"

Duckie scoffed, as I waited for Addie to reply.

"We're all going to hell…" Duckie said, yawning.

If Nez wouldn't listen to me, I'd just have to show her what she was missing.

Two can play this game.

And I agreed.

We were all doomed.

* * *

**A/N: To say this this chapter is a little late would be an understatement. Shall we gravel at your feet and beg for _your _forgivness? We promise the next one wont be as bad. This one was really hard to write, and we don't really even know why! But like we always say: even though the updates take a while, we promise we'll always get them up! Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! You know the drill...hound us for more updates...appearently that's what gets it done now and days...but try and be a little nice, okay? *smiles***

**Hope you guys had a awesome Thanksgiving and will have an even better Christmas! Review and you'll find Alec under your tree with a bow. *wink wink* He likes it if you're naughty.**

**xoxo**

**~IITM**


	27. Chapter 27: Shedding Fears

**A message from Nez: "Though it may seem like a waste of time to say this, let me make this very clear to all of you: if any of you steal my journey, my nickname, my dialogue or anything else of that nature, I'll have Uncle Emmett so far up your ass that you'll be dead before your body hits the floor. For those that can observe the story without stealing? Congradulations, and enjoy my sorrow, why don't you?"  
[She's a little bitter...in case you couldn't tell. Don't hate us, we just don't want our story stolen. You undestand. We love you all!]  
-IITM**

**

* * *

****Chapter 27: Shedding Fears**

**Renesmee's POV**

_People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.-Thich Nhat Hanh_

Damn. If I could admit one thing to myself about Alec, it was that he could kiss.

I hadn't been anticipating it and I didn't prepare myself for it. It just happened, just like that. I mean, I really thought I'd had the reigns in this situation! I annoyed him immensely by bringing up Jacob, which even I can admit was a low blow, but I got the point across.

I told him that I wasn't going to make this pleasant for him, and I wasn't lying. I mean, did he really expect me to just jump into his arms and put on a apron and heels like in the 1950's and bake a cake for him? Did he think that all would be forgiven just like that after everything that happened? Did he think I would just forget about how badly he hurt me?

Well, I'll tell you this much: I didn't have quite the same thing in mind.

I wanted him to suffer like he'd made me suffer for the last three months. I think it was working too, because Alec looked just about as sick as I felt while mentioning Jacob's dick size. But I tried keeping my thoughts under control, I tried imaging Jacob's package was like chocolate or something so I could actually talk about it and make it sound realistic. But all I tasted in my mouth was a bitter cocoa bean.

I could see Alec was starting to get a little bored with that particular topic, which I was sort of grateful for, because by that point I was on the verge of vomiting. So, I changed course of action, so to speak. I then basically threw in his face that what we did meant nothing to him, which was to be honest truth as far as I was concerned.

I left him seething in the car afterwards, taking the few groceries I had and took them inside the house. And that's when I was completely taken off guard by him zooming inside the house and slamming me into the nearest wall.

Everything after that was sort of a blur.

It wasn't like Alec and I had never kissed before, we had, several times. But something about this one, and maybe it was just in my head, there was something about it that seemed to be in a whole other category than the others. Perhaps it was because kissing Alec wasn't something I had been doing a lot of lately, but all I know was that it was intense. Alec was really pissed, taking out his frustration on my lips, and I wasn't protesting his initiative to vent to my body. I mean, if I hadn't wanted him to be doing what he was doing, I would have pulled away a hell of a long time before I did.

He cool body fitted perfectly against mine, his lips merging with my own eager mouth, his hands wandering my waist and breasts. Despite his chilly skin, I felt more heated than ever, completely flushed. Oh, I hated how much I wanted him, and I wanted him a lot. As in, if I didn't have him, I was going to chew off my own arm and hang myself. Yeah, that's a little overdramatic, but that's how I was feeling.

I kept meaning to tell him to stop, to get away from me, to leave me alone. But the only words I'd be able to speak, were I able to, would be, 'Don't stop touching me.' But I couldn't even get that out. The only sounds I could manage to get out of my mouth were moans that seemed to encourage him even more.

Alec wasn't soft with his movements either, and I sort of got off on that for some strange reason. He was rough, passionate, angry, and did I mention sexy as hell? I was fully aware of his hard shaft, because he never ceased to keep reminding me as he ground himself into me over and over, and over…This didn't help me prove any points to him. It only added fuel to the fire, sending tingling sensations throughout my body and causing warmth to pool in between my legs. I bucked against him, enjoying the singing pleasure that coursed through me. Once again, I was on the verge of climaxing under his touch; moments away from giving myself to him completely.

Somewhere, in a corner in my head, I knew that was a mistake, and this would only bite me in the ass, but I couldn't bring myself to make him quit. I didn't want him to and that bothered me.

Why couldn't I just shut him out? Why couldn't I bury him deep in the earth, or drop him in the sea like Rose did with that damn diamond in Titanic?

Oh, hell. I was so in over my head and he knew it. He saw right through my damn charade. But the thing was, I wasn't ready to face the facts that he still meant pretty much everything to me. I was still living in denial land where I was totally over him and I couldn't care less about what he did with the rest of his existence.

These things didn't change the facts though. I didn't trust him and I wasn't ready to let him back in my life like he was wanting me to.

Just as this was all starting to process in my mind, he went and got all cocky on me.

_"Tell me no one has satisfied you like I have."_

Okay, so, it wasn't a lie. Yeah, no one else would ever satisfy me like he does, but that's only in a physical sense. My emotional sense was torn to shreds in his name, and I was only hurting myself further if I slept with him again. I had follow my inner instinct that told me to protect myself from him…not my outer instinct that just told me to take my pants off and straddle him.

That's when we started fighting, he numbed my legs, we fought some more, and I told him that I should never have fallen in love with him.

Thinking it and saying it were two completely different aspects. I'd thought nonstop for the last couple of months about how I shouldn't have fell for him. But saying it out loud and right to his face? That was a whole other ball park. To be honest, it felt like total bullshit. But that was just the old me, not wanting to let go of him.

Or at least that's what I told myself.

I didn't know what made me feel worse; saying that I should have never fell in love with him or the look on his face that said he'd just lost his best friend.

I couldn't handle looking at him anymore. If I did, I knew I'd just somehow take it back and make myself look like a fool. Instead, I ran…again. I found it was something I was getting very good at lately. But hey, I was only running upstairs. That's not so bad; at least I wasn't running out of the country like I did the first time around.

And that's sort of where I stayed for the next two days: my room. I only left when I had to pee, shower, and other necessary grooming habits that involve a bathroom. I avoided Alec as much as humanly possible, because I knew he was still around and most likely in the damn house. But for some reason, he didn't intrude in my room like I expected him to. But I still knew he was there, and as far as I figured, I was going to stay locked up in my room until he left me the hell alone.

Yeah, it's a bit extreme, I know. But I couldn't help it! I felt so effing depressed, and I found myself wanting to take a blade to my wrist or something. I needed freaking help! Like, a psychologist or something. Or pills, anti depressants? Yeah, that'd totally erase my problems.

Duckie had been all too good to me the last two days. She brought me up food, told me what Alec was up to, and offered a warm, comforting voice of encouragement.

"You're being really pathetic, you know." She stated, handing me a Hot Pocket fresh out of the microwave.

I stood up from the floor where I had been painting my toenails, and grumpily snatched the pepperoni pocket from her.

"Thanks," I mumbled, nibbling on the food thoughtfully.

"For the food or telling you you're being ridiculous with this whole locking yourself in the dungeon act?"

I paused, considering the two.

"Never mind, then." I replied, turning to sit on the edge of my bed. I looked back down at the Hot Pocket, and considered to continue eating it, but my stomach said otherwise. I set the saucer on my nightstand and sighed, peeking back at Duckie who stared at me with her hands on her hips.

I blinked, feeling slightly judged by her gaze. "…What?"

"How long are you going live under a rock and pretend that the world is just going to grant your wishes for you?" She asked harshly, not holding back any frustration. I cringed at the sharp note in her tone.

"I'm not-"

"You can lie to Alec till the cows come home but you can't lie to me. I wont let you." Her firm voice didn't soften any, and her features continued to sport a stone complexion.

What the crap? Since when was I lying to Duckie? I wasn't lying to anybody! I was just telling everyone how I felt and nobody believed me; thus concluding in their denial that I was simply lying about it. But I wasn't lying!

Okay, maybe I'd told a couple of falsehoods to Alec, but still, that didn't make me a complete liar, did it? Most of what I'd said to him was the truth, but apparently no one in this household was ready to face reality except me. Even I wasn't completely ready to face reality; hence me locking myself in my room because I knew Alec was still around and I was pretending that he wasn't.

Maybe Duckie had a bit of a point.

I sighed again and looked down at my lap, ashamed of myself for cowering into such a pitiful state.

"I'm just…I just can't do this anymore."

Wow, I really sounded like a complete failure. How did I get here?

As if reading my mind, Duckie replied, "So, what? You're just going to give up? Just like that? Are you really going to just shut down and let the world eat you away? You're stronger than that and you know it!"

I glanced back up at her, taking in her words. I knew she was right, I knew that I was allowing myself to dissolve into this weakened condition. But I didn't know how to pull myself out of it with a heart of gold. I wasn't a superhero, and I didn't have awesome powers that were able to mend my very broken heart.

Because I still hurt, I hurt a lot, and I was drowning myself in it. With Alec here, I felt as though I was trying to remain over the surface, to maintain composure and strength, but memories and his damn face kept pushing me back under, reminding me that I wasn't in control.

He was.

He had so much control over me and it scared me to death. I thought that if I locked myself away in my room, that he still wouldn't have such an influence over me.

Yeah, I stood up to him the other night, but that was just pure luck that I somehow managed to squeeze out of the hold he had on me. I was ready to give myself back to him in a way that I had sworn not to ever give back to him. But under his touch, under those lips and those hands, I was going to.

I was on the brink of letting him back in, and I wasn't ready to. Maybe I was physically, but I most certainly wasn't emotionally ready.

I wasn't ready for any of this.

"I don't feel strong, though. Not anymore." I mumbled, watching Duckie's expression soften some as she sat down on the bed next to me.

"I know he hurt you, I get that, but you're going to have to move on from this, Cookie. You can't live like this anymore. You've got to face the waters and the way you feel, and you've _got _to really tell Alec how you feel."

"But I have told him how I feel."

"Have you? Like, have you really told him what it is that you're feeling inside? Have you told him why you're acting the way you are, or why you're holding back?" She inquired, raising her eyebrows.

I stayed silent, trying to resurrect the conversations we'd had since he'd gotten back. After looking over them, I realized that I really hadn't told him how I felt. Mostly, I had been trying to just get him to leave, becoming a blazing bitch in the process.

"What good would it do if I told him? I mean, I still want him to leave."

"Do you, Cookie? I mean, is that what you really want? There's not a part of you that likes having him here, or wants him to stay?"

Again, silence filled the air. Damn, she was cornering me into confessions that I wasn't entirely prepared for.

Did I want him to leave? Yeah, a part of me did. But was there another part that wanted him to stay? Perhaps the very selfish side of me that wasn't ready to let him go, but I didn't have any other option. I had to let him go; it was for the best. I just didn't exactly know _how _to let him go.

I was about to say something in reply, but just before doing so I heard a faint giggle coming from downstairs. It wasn't just a giggle, it was a female giggle, a giddy giggle.

It was a '_Ohh I'm so sexy and I'm about to screw you' _giggle.

I didn't recognize the voice that followed it either. The voice was like a jar of sugary sweet syrup that had expired in 1960. It was fake, and I decided right then that I detested that voice more than anything on this green earth. I hated that voice more than Aro himself, and I didn't know how that was even possible. I didn't even know why I hated the voice so much, I just did.

I became rigid in my own skin, cringing that the sounds that came from downstairs. And Duckie, beside me, stiffened as well.

"Someone is in my house," I spat between clenched teeth, my hands rounding into tight fists.

Duckie chuckled nervously. "Yeah, silly. It's just Alec."

I shook my head, getting up off of the bed.

"No, it's someone else." I said sternly.

After a few seconds, I heard another giggle that follow silence. I narrowed my eyes at Duckie, who was starting to whistle while staring at the ceiling. She knew something was up and wasn't telling me about it. Just before investigating my so called friend for details, who was beginning to crack like the ice burg from Titanic, I heard yet another disturbing noise. Only this time, it was in the form of words, if you really wanted to call it that. It was more like a moan, one that perked my interest.

"You taste so sweet…just like I remember." The voice moaned out. My instincts went into overdrive, and I no longer in control of my motor functions.

_Who the hell was having sex in my house? _

I was out of the room in a flash, my legs moving the fastest I could manage, speeding down the stairs to examine the scene like the FBI…only the crime scene was far worse than death. It was in plain view, there was no shame in what was going on. The case was solvable, the evidence was lined up right before me for my viewing pleasure. Now, I had to kill the criminal, the rodent, that crawled into my grandparents house and onto Alec's lap.

Alec was sitting on the couch, his hands gripping the red headed mutant's hips, as his head leaned back, his eyes closed and his lips parted. He also happened to look quite pleased with himself as the unknown creature moved her mouth down his neck.

My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach as I watched her fingers run through his hair, her body grinding against his, the subtle smile on her face as she did. Anger filled my body so much so than I was beginning to shake with rage. Then the pain settled in, mixing in with the fury, creating a blurred vision to which all I could see was red.

What the hell was he doing?

I didn't take too much longer to wonder, because before I knew what was happening, I was zooming over to the couch. I stood behind her and in the split second it took for me to grab her by the hair and her jerk her harshly away from Alec, I saw the corners of his lips curl upwards briefly, indicating he was smiling at me. Needless to say I didn't return the gesture. Instead I wretched the slime from his grasp, slamming her against the nearest wall face first. I locked the nape of her neck by my forearm, hearing a low growl emerge from my chest.

Every instinct inside of me told me to kill her, and I was more than willing to comply. I didn't care that this rat appeared to be a vampire, and I didn't care of she was probably stronger than me. All I could think about was her touching Alec. Everything that happened after that was just a follow-up of my thoughts.

"Who the hell do you think you are!" I spat to the trash, slamming her into the wall once more. It cracked upon the impact, but I didn't care. I just wanted her to die, and I would gladly be the one to take credit for her death.

"Addie," she replied, a smile in her voice.

"Fuck you, Addie!"

"Thanks for the offer, but I was sort of in the middle of letting him do so before you-"

That was it. I had reached my limit, and I then officially lost any control.

Words can't even describe how infuriated I was. My heart beat so hard and so fast in my chest I thought it was going to give out on me from pure exhaustion. I could have sprouted tears I was so pissed off. My wrath for this so called Addie was too much to bare, and I was on the verge of exploding.

I turned Addie around, having her face me so I could bitch slap her porcelain doll face. My hand hurt like hell from doing so, but on the other hand it felt damn good. I had never attacked a person before like this, it wasn't something I was taught to do as a child, but I had no problem with beating the shit out of this slut.

Addie's eyes narrowed dangerously at me after I slapped her, but I couldn't feel any threat towards her. It was just as I was about to give my next line of attack, which would have probably involved somehow separating that head of hers from the rest of her petite body, when I felt cool hands lock around my wrists. Alec pulled my arms behind me, pinning them to my back, rendering me almost completely helpless. He kept my arms locked in place with one of his hands, and the other slid around my waist to haul me away from the bitch. I struggled trying to get loose in his arms, suddenly feeling useless when it came to my strength. Even though I knew he would win, I couldn't help but try to fight my way out of his grasp.

"Let me go, Alec! Let- me GO!" I yelled, my eyes still glued on Addie, who bore a smirk on her lips. I hissed, attempting to elbow Alec in the stomach, hoping that would maybe catch him off guard a little.

Of course, it didn't. All that accomplished was a bruise on my elbow that would probably appear the next day.

"Calm down.." I felt his breath tickle the skin of the side of my face. I ignored the tingles it sent down my spine, continuously failing at my efforts to get away.

And I tried, I really did. I looked like Angelina Jolie in _Girl Interrupted, _my legs kicking at empty air, useless threats coming from my lips as Alec dragged me out of the room and into the kitchen.

Against my will, he picked me up and sat me down on the island counter. I writhed, once again, against him. But, like before, he cut off my options with his strength, pinning my wrists down to the counter under his. When squirming to get loose didn't work, I used my legs to try and kick or shove him away; that also proved to be ineffective. He only pushed his body closer to mine, cutting off any access to push him away with.

"Stop fighting me, Nez." He breathed, his eyes piercing into mine. My breath caught in my throat, and I was then aware of the position we were in.

Alec's body was propped right in between my thighs, his chest was pressed against mine, and his hands were still clutched onto my wrists. And as if his voice was programmed inside my head, I quit fighting to get free. Worst part was, I didn't even know why I stopped, I just couldn't help but do so. His eyes were freaking hypnotic or something.

"I hate you," I spat harshly, realizing the only defense I had left was my voice.

Alec's eyes narrowed into two slits, not taking a liking to my comment. Behind the anger in those ruby iris', I also saw a flash of hurt. I regretted my statement instantly, but forgot about hurting his feelings when I remembered the sight I had just taken view of on the couch. If anyone had the right to be hurt at the moment, I think it was me.

"No you don't." Alec replied confidently in a soft voice.

I was starting to get lost in those eyes of his again, I could feel myself falling into them. I looked down immediately, disgusted with myself.

"Let go of my wrists…you're hurting me." I half lied, trying to pry my hands free. Much to my surprise, he let them go. But he still didn't leave me completely movable, as I was still trapped against his body.

"I'm sorry," he replied, actually sounding sincere.

I laughed bitterly.

"No, you're not. You planned this! You picked up some random tramp, brought her over here just to hurt me!" I yelled, feeling tears spring in my eyes. I didn't dare let them escape, though.

Slowly, that pain was starting to resurface inside of me, replacing some of the traces of anger. I just wanted to cry, but I couldn't, not in front of him. I couldn't let him see just how badly I was hurting inside. It'd make me look weak, and I was tired of looking weak.

Alec's face softened. "No, I did it to open your eyes. I did it to get some honest emotion out of you! I did it to make you see." He said gently, his eyes solemn and sad.

Despite how much I wanted to let my guard down a little, I couldn't bring myself to. I was still way too angry to just let what just happened slide like it was nothing, and I wasn't going to say it was okay that he did so. It wasn't okay.

I shouldn't have been surprised he'd go this far, that I should have expected him to do something like this to me. I also shouldn't have been this hurt by it. In theory, I should have looked at what happened in the living room and not have been effected by it whatsoever. But it wasn't that easy. I felt too much for him, regardless of everything.

I hated myself for it, but I felt like in someway, in some extremely selfish way, he still belonged to me on some level. I didn't have a right to think that, but I did. In my head, that hooker in there had no right touching him. Again, I despised myself for even thinking that way.

I couldn't keep contradicting myself like this. I couldn't let him out of my life BUT not want other women to sleep with him. Not only that, I didn't want other women to fall in love with Alec; same goes for him. The thought of him being in love with another girl tore my heart to shreds. It wasn't suppose to be like that. I was being a hypocrite, and that was the last thing in the world I wanted.

Unable to keep silent any longer, I spoke again, daring to reveal a little bit of what I feeling inside. I knew that was going to bite me in the ass, but I found myself unable to lie about it. I knew that if I didn't lie through my words, my eyes would make up for it. It also didn't help that he was studying my every move, facial expression and word. He could see what I was feeling regardless of what I said.

"To make me see what, that I can't handle seeing someone else with you? That I'm jealous?" Some of my control was starting to slip a little, along with my voice. "Because yeah, I'm jealous, alright? Does that make you happy, are you glad that you forced this out of me? Does seeing me like this give you some form of achievement?"

His face softened further, tension forming in his features.

"Nez-"

"And you have reason to be…I have to give you props, really. She's a piece of work. How on earth did you manage to find a vampire tramp on such a short notice?" I interrupted, a faint sarcasm coating my voice.

Suddenly, Alec's features weren't so soft anymore. They were now really alert and worried. I didn't really know what to make of his new demeanor, but I decided then it couldn't be good. That shouldn't have shocked me though. I knew to expect the worst.

Alec didn't have to reply, as the vamp Addie stepped into the kitchen, a small smile on her face. I tensed immediately, preparing to attack. But before I could even struggle once more out of Alec's grip, she cut me off both verbally, physically and mentally with that she said next.

"Perhaps I should have been more precise on my introduction…You see, Addie is a nickname Alexander gave to me." She explained, leaning against the doorpost; arms crossed over chest. "A nickname given to me as a child, and you know how nicknames are…they stick with you through the years. Only I was never able to submit to calling Alec, _Alec_…I've always preferred calling him by what his mother introduced him to me as: Alexander."

Just about the same time I froze in my own skin, Alec became very, very stiff. I happened to peek over at him, and noticed he was slowly closing his eyes, as if he anticipated something awful about to happen. Meanwhile, I was still trying to dissect her meaning.

That's when it hit me, and my worst fears came to life.

_A nickname given to her by Alec; a nickname given to her as a _child_._

_A nickname that stuck with her over the years, indicating they've known each other awhile._

_She's always called him Alexander, a name that he was called by _his mother, who was human.

It was all like a sick, twisted puzzle that I was putting together in my head. The answer to the puzzle wasn't possible; it was ridiculous.

It made absolute sense. It all fit perfectly.

Just then, my mind wandered back to Palermo. Alec had just informed me of something I was less than enthused about. Flashes of the conversation came back to me. A good thing about being part vampire? I have a pretty good memory for things I wish I could forget.

'_Adeline and I had known each other since birth, and very close friends. It wasn't until we were teenagers we were informed that we were to be married.'_

_-'I was finding myself in love with her. Adeline, with her long red hair, her sparkling hazel eyes and her humorous manor, I was besotted.'_

My eyes lifted, looking at the figure against the doorpost. I'd hoped that I had just imagined her red hair before, that it was really a different color. But sure enough, it was red. Long, red hair; and although her eyes weren't hazel anymore, I could practically see them. Whether they were hazel or a golden shade, they did sparkle with delight.

Addie. _Adeline. _

I always found it funny when in movies, someone would mention how things couldn't possibly get worse, and then something really horrible but humorous happened to prove them wrong. Well, this was sort of like that, only it wasn't at all funny.

This was a graphic horror film where everyone burned, got bitten and killed by a Italian vampire coven because of a certain red headed girl who betrayed a secret of someone who she was supposedly faithful to. It was a traumatic story of a boy who gave his heart to a girl, and in the end got nothing more than flames licking the skin of himself and his sister. A story of events that only sped up the process of a destiny he didn't even know he had; a destiny that left him nothing less than a pair of unnatural red eyes and a eternity belonging to a cruel man who bought him to be a slave.

This was Adeline who was suppose to be dead. This was Adeline who made Alec go through a lot of pain. This was Adeline who was Alec's first love. And this was Alec, who brought this supposed 'dead' girl into my home_, _displayed a risqué scene with her on my couch, and was somehow trying to prove a point to _me?_

Un-freaking-believable.

This was just too much. Way, way too much.

The weight of reality plummeted down on me with such force that I was rendered absolutely speechless. I just sort of sat there on the counter in shock, my mouth hung open in, I'm sure, an unattractive sort of way. I didn't care, though. I was just blank; lost. The circumstances were so ironic I could have laughed.

In fact, that's exactly what I did.

I knew I was losing it, I knew that this was no matter for laughing. But it was just the situation was just so hideous, there was nothing else to do but laugh.

"Nez…?"

Alec looked at me as though I'd gone mad, and I probably was. But I just couldn't stop laughing. And it's not like it was one of those delighted laughs at something you really thought was funny; it was one of those tight, bitter laughs that indicated you were really, really, really pissed off.

In the middle of my delirious laughing, I almost hadn't noticed that a single tear slipped down my cheek. That's when I stopped laughing and sort of snapped back to reality. I cut my eyes at Alec, who was still staring at me intently.

He sighed deeply.

"I know what you must be thinking-"

"Don't, okay? Just…don't." I cut him off, not wanting to hear anything he had to say.

"Please, just let me explain-"

"You want some honest emotion out of me, Alec? Well, fine, then. I'll tell you this: I am bleeding inside, and quite frankly, I can't take anymore. I have officially reached my limit. So, if you'd be so kind as to just shut up and let me try to figure out a way to somehow fix the ever current pain that has taken residence inside of me, that would be really great of you." I said sharply, watching his face flinch with each word.

"Why are you hurting, Nez? You told me yesterday you regretted being with me, and that you didn't love me enough-"

"I WAS LYING, YOU STUPID MORON! I thought you'd be able to tell the difference between the truth and what I was hoping to keep from you!" I screamed, surprised at the volumes that filled the air.

I really didn't mean to say that out loud. I didn't mean to show so much emotion to him. I could feel myself starting to break, to unravel, to dissolve. All those walls I built to try and protect myself were plummeting down with a lot of force. Pieces of me were starting to break away, thoughts spilling into speech, tears becoming visible to him. I felt like I was back in Italy, exposed and vulnerable, all their faces captivating my mind, their voices echoing within my ears. The lump in my throat thickened, making me want to vomit. All the while, I held in my sobs that were trapped within my chest, begging to be released.

_Not in front of him. Not again._

This was slowly starting to turn into something a little more personal than his dead ex wife-to-be or whatever the hell she was. This was about what happened three months ago, what I tried to push out of my mind. This was why he brought her here, to make me see what I didn't want to see. I could control this though; grant you that seemed a little far fetched, but I could. I've done it once and I could do it again. I could not only build another wall, but a castle with hundreds of Emmetts and Felixs to guard me. If I was as strong as everyone said I was, I could do that.

My legs, despite how they felt like lead, carried me out of the kitchen. I needed air, I needed space. I needed something that wasn't available to me in this room or any other place. Surprisingly, Alec let me go without any efforts to stop me. I didn't even dare look at his face as I left.

Within seconds I found myself back upstairs and heading to my room. In the hallway, I passed the guest room Duckie was staying room; I glanced at her as I passed, narrowing my eyes unpleasantly at her. I knew she had known all along about Adeline coming; she'd been in on it, and chose not to tell me about it.

She was talking on the phone, and briefly I could make out a voice that sounded like Felix's coming through the other end. Duckie's eyes caught mine, and she mouthed 'sorry' before lowering her eyes back down guiltily.

I slammed the door once in my room, breathing heavily as I paced back and fourth.

_Calm down…just relax. _I tried telling myself.

But self soothing wasn't going to work this time. I kept pacing, and pacing, but that wasn't working either. Walking over to the bed, I grabbed onto the metal bed post for support, because at this point I was starting to get dizzy. I closed my eyes, my breathing coming out harshly and quickly.

_Don't fall apart. You've kept together this long. Don't do this now._

When I opened my eyes again, I saw that my hand was leaving a large, fist sized dent in the metal where I grasping.

I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing deeply, hoping to clear my mind of some of this. The key word there was _hope_. I didn't get very far with that, because there was just too damn much too process.

Adeline was alive, I was jealous, and now I was starting to crumble to pieces because everything I was trying to bury is coming back to haunt me like the undead.

And if all this wasn't bad enough, there was now a knock on my door, and I knew that whoever it was, I sure as hell did NOT want to talk to anyone.

I was pissed at all three of the people in the house.

"To whom it may concern; I'm not in the mood for a chat. Leave." I demanded. I gave no hint of weakness in my voice. No sign that I was going to be nice.

Though it didn't seem register to anyone.

The door opened. I really with I had a lock…not that it would mattered either.

"That's okay, because really all I need you to do is listen. There's no need for you to talk if you don't want to." Adeline said with a strange warmth in her voice, making me cringe. I scoffed and shook my head. She was anything but warm. She was a heartless little wench who needed to remove herself from my presence in minus five seconds. I was mentally taking note on how long she was just standing there, trying to look like my friend.

Five seconds.

Not quick enough.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say," I snapped.

"Tough shit," she sneered back, her warm voice flying out the window. She groaned, annoyed with herself; probably for her lack of communicating skills. Like she had a reason to be upset or stressed. She didn't know anything of what I was going through, and if she thought she did, she was dumber then she looked. No one understood. Not even myself.

"I tried coming at this from a nice angle, but you leave me no choice but to do this the hard way."

"Shocker," I said, with a forced smile on my face. If she thought she'd get anywhere with me on a friend level after what I witnessed in my grandparents living room, she had another thing coming. Not only that but I knew her past. I knew her part in Alec's history.

She's lucky I'm letting her stay her in my room this long. What right does she have to even be near Alec? Why was he doing this stuff to himself? If I were him, I'd kill her. Then again, knowing Alec and his past with me, he probably lied about that too. In my head though, I was fighting that thought. It was like a battle field telling me to shut the hell up and just tell him how I feel. The question is, why am I that scared? Is it because I'm scared he'd hurt me again? Or is something else?

I already know the answer.

It was both. Them _and_ him. They were both my worst fears.

I was scared because of the power he had over me, rendering me blind to the dangers of the world. I let him in too close last time, and what did get to me? My life threatened. Over and over. Not to mention my family hating me so much they leave. I was irrelevant to those around me because of him and his backstabbing coven. Even if he was trustworthy, which I'm not saying he is, but if he was, the Volturi definitely weren't.

What's stopping them from coming here and killing us all?

Absolutely nothing. Alec was right before. Our relationship was too dangerous for everyone. He now just seemed to completely forget about that.

This whole thing was giving me a headache.

Adeline watched me with an annoyed expression on her fake face. I turned my body on the bed, facing away from her so I didn't gag. She plopped right at my side, and when I went to kick her off she grabbed hold of my leg and help tight, making me wince.

"Don't," she warned. I narrowed my eyes and tried to kick again, with no avail.

"This is my room."

"Shocker," she mocked in a sissy ass tone. I snatched my leg from her grasp and slid away from her the farthest I could go. It wasn't far enough.

"Don't you have someone to screw?" I questioned, raising a eyebrow. Adeline chuckled.

"I know you hate me right now, child, but believe me you're going to want to listen to me. So stop being a spoiled brat, and pay attention!"

"There's no other way to get rid of you?"

Addie shook her head no, not wasting a second's time.

_Great._

I waved her off, trying to tune her out. Or at least I was going to when she insulted me, in the worse possible way.

"You know what I see when I look at you, Cullen? A younger version of myself. When I was human."

That had me rolling. To think she came up all the way to my room to tell me I reminded her of a whore. She had to be joking because that was the funniest thing since America's Funniest Home Videos. I mean honestly, she was a real comic genius, this Adeline. No wonder Alec still kept her around. He was bored!

I was laughing for a good long while before it hit me that she was actually being serious. And then I wanted to kill her.

But to be honest, I'd done enough damage today to this woman to last me another lifetime of mortality, and I just didn't want to last the energy, when I knew deep down there was no point in even trying. So I sat there and just stared at her, nodding as If I agreed. She shook her head and continued, not even bothering to ask if I could see the comparisons.

Which was a good thing because she'd be let down faster then she can could count to ten.

Or in her case, five.

"I'm not saying that was bad. I mean, I was a quite a catch when I was human. Looked up to, even."_Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh._

"Oh yeah, I bet you were a real fire-starter…" I said innocently.

Adeline shot me a look and I gave one right back basically saying 'try me bitch.' She closed her eyes and breathed heavily through her nose.

"The point of me coming up here is to tell you you're making a huge mistake by letting him go; trying to get him to lose interest. It's not easy losing, Alexander. Believe me, I know he can be difficult and he did lie.."

"What could you possibly know about him? You lost him because you were the betrayer. Not the betrayed."

Adeline looked at me with sadness that made me almost regret my words. I bet if her eyes could water now, they were be straight into tears. But I wouldn't sugar coat anything for this woman. She lost everything she had because she had a mouth the size of a seal. And she deserved any kind of sadness that she felt for what she did. She didn't deserve any pity if that's she was thinking.

"His name is Alessandro Lucio Gravina, brother of Janella Carmela Gravina."

I froze instantly.

My heart leapt in my chest as she watched me for a response. I tried to keep cool but I couldn't hide the pain and jealousy that was starting to boil inside me, wanting to scream out at her as I replayed those names in my head.

Rewind, play. Rewind again.

All of it made my head spin and my chest ache.

_Alessandro._

His name was Alessandro. Alec's name was-no. No, it couldn't be. She was lying. She was good at that, and she was good at weakness' too. She knew how I felt about knowing things about his past. I don't know how but the witch knew. And she was bating me with it, but why? So I would listen to her? Well, outside I still didn't want to hear a word come from her mouth. But deep inside where Alec's name was singing in my ears, was thirsting for more. To hear anything I could get from her. Even if it hurt me to know such things.

Hell, it hurts to hear his name come from her lips, nonetheless that one.

Alessandro. I couldn't stop thinking the name. It was beautiful, yet masculine at the same time. I was itching to say it aloud, to feel how it felt coming off of my lips. Damn it, it just sounded like him.

Alessandro Lucio Gravina.

Impossible, yet enchanting. Breathtaking.

Trying not to ask for more information from Adeline was like breathing underwater, it just couldn't be done.

"You're not lying to me, are you?" The question didn't sound like a suspicious one, but a surprised one. She was telling me the truth, even if I wanted her memory of Alec to be gone. Her eyes said differently.

She nodded, confirming what I already knew to be true.

I held my breath, waiting for more. I felt like a child being told a bedtime story, anxious to hear what happens next. Only I already knew the ending; here, I was finding out the beginning.

"You might be wondering how I can remember things like that, but the truth is, I just never forgot. I couldn't. Every detail of his life I can remember." Adeline began, taking in a breath. "Alexander's mother, who was from England, was the one who first started calling him Alexander in the first place, but his birth name was Alessandro, given by his Italian father, Darius. He and Jane, or Janella, were born on February 18th, 1608. The day of the fire was on December 23rd, 1624. Alexander, had he lived a couple of more months, would have turned seventeen…"

My mouth just hung open in utter shock. I tried taking all the information in little by little, but the force of all it all just quickly absorbed into me, making me dizzy. It was overwhelming how much she remembered, how much detail she knew about his life.

Alec's life! I was hearing about _his _life, things I never thought I'd be able to know, I was hearing right at this moment.

Did he remember all of this? Did he remember his freaking name! Or Jane's? Could he really block out that much? I knew he could, I just didn't understand. How does one forget his own name? Or how old he was when he was turned? I'd talked to him about this in the past, and Alec always said he really didn't know exactly how old he was. Doing the math in my head, I concluded that Alec was four hundred and six years old altogether. Alec had only been sixteen when he was turned, just about to turn a year older, about to open another chapter in his life.

And it all got stripped away from him within seconds.

No matter how many times I thought about his death, or how I approached it, I always felt a sense of grief for him, a sadness. The very thought of him being tortured like that made me sick to my stomach, and I couldn't handle it.

Swallowing back a lump in my throat, I knew I couldn't stomach hearing anything else from her, not about his past. The details, on some level, I was glad to know about. But on another, it was like a stab in the chest. I couldn't tell if it was because I wish I could've known all of this, or because I wish he could have told me. I guess I just really hated the fact that _she _had all of these memories, what he was like, his blue eyes, everything. She knew him in a sense that I can never know him in.

Great, I was jealous again.

And I was also growing more hatred for Adeline. She was the one who stripped it all away from him, she was the one who ruined him. I know that Aro would have gotten Alec either way, but still, had Alec just lived a couple of more human years, grown a little more, experienced more life from the human eye. She made that all impossible.

Most ironic of all, she was here, sitting on my bed, wanting to have a heart-to-heart with me or something.

"Why are you telling me this?" I spat, jumping off of the bed.

Adeline smiled coldly. "Because I did betray him and I did lose him, and I've paid the price of it every single day ever since. And you know what, princess? So are you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're an idiot if you think you can let him go without regretting it! It means that however pissed off or hurt you may be right now, it's not going to matter later on in life." Her voice raised to a higher level, and before I could blink, she was on her feet as well. "I get it, he hurt you. But if Alexander can forgive me for what I did to him, you can sure as hell forgive him for what he did. I don't know the whole situation about what went on between you, but I know enough, and I also know that he really loves you. Why, I haven't a clue, but he does."

I shook my head, trying to block out everything she was saying, trying not to let any of it make a point in my head. What happened to her was her own fault, hers. But I had a right to be angry. I did. I was humiliated, stabbed in the back, crushed! And Alec forgiving her had nothing to do with our own relationship. If he wanted to forgive someone for ruining him, that was his own choice. But this was different…wasn't it?

"People make mistakes, little girl, but life? Life goes on; for us, an eternity. How're you gonna' spend yours?"

I cut my eyes at her, and glared.

"Why do you even care?"

"Because I don't want you to make the same mistake I did."

"I didn't do anything like you did! I didn't kill him!" I yelled, growling low in my chest.

How dare she even compare the two of us like that? I would never do to him what she did, never. I couldn't. It would kill me too if I hurt him like that.

"But you're pushing him away, you're not trusting him…just like I did. I didn't trust him, and look where it's gotten me? Nowhere, and without him. You may think you're being strong, but you're really just making yourself that much weaker." She said it like that wise old woman you see in the movies or read in books, and suddenly, I felt very small as silence spread around the room.

"And you're maybe too dumb to notice, but you are killing him. You're killing him inside. Every time you deny your feelings, every time you tell him you don't love him or he's not being enough for you…he's dying. And the bad thing is, you're doing the same thing to yourself. Yes. I killed him all those years ago, but I didn't break him. I couldn't because it was never about me. I wasn't the one he's been waiting for. And even though it hurts to say that, you're it for him. You're making your damage on him far worse then anything I could do."

I continuously tried to block her out, to go to my own little world where it was safe and where I didn't have to deal with anything, but my little world was crumbling down. I realized then that her words? They scared me to death, they sent a cold, bitter chill down my spine, sending the hairs on my neck and arms on end.

Flashes of the future years spread in my mind, and I tried picturing my life without Alec, the happy life I had hoped to live as an independent woman on her own. But that dream was falling apart like everything else. When I looked into future's eye, I saw nothing but loneliness, resentment, sharing my bed with nothing but my own tears, drowning myself in regret's spiteful shadows. There was nothing left but a hole in my core with Alec's faded presence, his sparkling skin, his wine colored eyes that would slowly fade to black.

The memory of his voice whispered to me, begging me with plead in his tone, his eyes desperate assurance, for any kind of sign that I knew how he felt. How no matter what he did, I would always have my arms open for him. How could I not see?

'_Promise that you'll never forget this moment and how much I love you. No matter what you hear, promise that you'll believe me when I say _I love you._'_

I promised him. I gave him my word and my heart, offering it openly. In the end, we only tore each other apart.

But he trusted me to keep my word, and I could argue any way about me not trusting him but there were two sides to every story and I never bothered listening to his. Hell, I hadn't even been listening to mine.

"Don't…be like me. If there's one thing that I know for sure I regret, it's not full heartedly showing him how I really felt about him…I never did, and I'll never get a chance to because it's too late for me. But it's not too late for you." Her voice was barely a whisper in my ear, and it wasn't until she started talking that I realized just how close she was. I could feel her topaz eyes etching into my skin, her hand on my shoulder, and instead of cringing within her presence, I stayed perfectly still, afraid to move or speak.

"Let him in, Renesmee. Bury the pain, and let it go, and just let him in."

That's when the walls caved in around me, the walls I worked so hard to build, to protect me. My chest was convulsing within me, and my heart was shedding everything it'd been holding within itself. The hard, rusty edges of my wounds were peeking through, and there was nothing I could do to stop them from showing. My whole body trembled, as what seemed like cool tears streamed down my burning face. They felt like acid against my skin.

And I knew right in that second, that I was a liar. I couldn't lie anymore. I was never going to find another person I loved like I loved Alec. Not in a lifetime, not never. There was no one else like him, no one else I wanted, no one else I needed, no one else that understood me like he did. And I was an idiot for trying to push it away.

I was so scared though…so scared of letting love take back over the wheel.

But I didn't want to imagine an eternity without Alec, without his voice, without his touch. I had never really thought about it until now, which is stupid, because one would think I would wonder about my life without him since I was planning on letting him go. But I hadn't; I'd never really thought about how long my actions were going to effect me. How idiotic could I be?

More questions and emotions started to arise inside of me.

The most important question was could I really let him go? Would I ever really be able to? Was I trying hard enough? Or was I just pretending that I was really trying?

Did I really want to let him go?

Could I handle an eternity without him?

Was I just being stubborn in not forgiving him? Should I forgive him? If I did, would I get hurt again? Could our relationship really last or work out?

Was he worth the risk?

I closed my eyes, fighting back tears, because I already knew the answer to all of the questions. I knew the answers, and they were at the tip of my tongue, I was just so scared to say them aloud.

It was so obvious, it was always obvious what my choices were going to be. Me, being the girl that I am, fought back, because I didn't think I was ready. Ready to open up again, to be the carefree girl I was a couple of months ago, to be just damn free of the bad memories.

I still didn't know if I was ready; that's the problem.

_If you're not ready now; you'll never be. _A voice said in the back of my mind.

I heard Adeline sigh and walk back to my bedroom door. I looked up at her, trying not to look utterly pathetic and defeated. I'm sure I was failing.

Before I could say anything, she was gone, specks of her red hair speeding away behind her.

I didn't know for sure, but I had the deep instinct that that would be the last time I ever saw Adeline. I didn't want that same fate with Alec. I didn't want to lose him.

"Cookie, where are you going?"

I barley heard Duckie's question as I brushed past her swiftly. I'd never run so fast in my life, and if I had, it wasn't with this much will behind my stride. Though it didn't seem like it was quick enough. Seconds felt like hours, minutes felt like years. My feet couldn't carry me fast enough, and a panic arose in my chest because I felt as though my opportunity was slipping through my fingers. My eyes were searching for only one thing, one face: the angelic, beautiful, mysterious knight.

But there was just problem in my epic journey, one little hurdle.

My knight was nowhere to be found.

I looked all throughout the house, the woods, behind trees, up the trees, branches…and yet he was in none of those places. And before I could figure out where I was headed next, or what I should do, I crumbled to the ground, leaning back into nothing but a tree to support my fragile body.

My heart throbbed painfully against my ribcage, and I grasped onto my chest, trying to force oxygen in and out of my lungs. The air refused to enter, though, and followed by quick gasps for air were chocked sobs.

He was gone.

I tried to scream, but not being able to breathe sort of inhibited that course of action. So instead, a scary wheezing sound escaped my larynx.

I didn't know how long I sat there sobbing to the darkness, but suddenly a voice emerged from behind the tree I was practically hugging, scaring the shit out of me in the process.

I wasn't alone.

"Nez…what're you- what're you doing?"

I stood up quickly, my hand flying to my mouth in shock. He stood not but a couple of feet away from me, and I didn't know whether to try my hand at screaming again or hug him.

My feet stumbled towards him, and before I really knew what I was doing, my fists kept hitting his chest, as more and more tears fell from my swollen eyes.

"WHY! WHY DID LET THEM DO THAT TO ME? WHY DID YOU JUST STAND THERE WHILE THEY BROKE ME! WAS I NOT WORTH TELLING THE TRUTH TO?" I screamed outrageously, pounding his chest over and over again with my fists. He just stood there and took it without so much as a blink. "Why- did you let them tear us apart? Why did you wait THREE MONTHS TO COME AND SEE ME! While I just sat here, thinking…you, you didn't…love me…thinking you were dead! Why did you even love me at all? Why did you make me hurt like this? Why do you have to mean _EVERYTHING TO ME!"_

The next thing I knew, his hands gripped onto my wrists, and he pulled me into his arms, holding me against his chest. I buried my face into his neck, grasping desperately to the collar of his shirt, urgently trying to get as close as I could to him. I breathed in his scent, hoping it'd calm my nerves, but it only made the tears run faster.

Alec cupped my face, cradling me like porcelain. I stared at him through a glazed film, my lips trembling uncontrollably. I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to look him in the eyes.

"Please, stop crying, _la mia perla_…I'm not worth the tears." He whispered, shaking his head. "Maybe this was all a mistake…I put too much on you. Maybe you really would be happier if I was gone-"

Before he could finish the sentence, I yanked towards me, his forehead resting against mine. I shook my head frantically, now looking him straight in the eye.

"Don't leave me…please." I begged, my voice shaking. "Don't leave me."

Alec didn't waste time arguing with me, and from the sound of my voice, I wouldn't have argued either. I was desperate, utterly desperate and as delicate as I'd ever been. Italy had nothing on this moment, and he knew now that if he left me now, I would be finished.

I needed him like I needed a blanket at night. I needed to feel safe, protected, loved and warm. I could only feel that with him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said, brushing the wet strands of hair that had been sticking to my cheek away.

"You can't let them hurt me again."

"Never again."

He kissed me then, and I couldn't recall when I had ever been so happy to receive one so tender, so sweet, so filled with love. It made my heart lift in my chest; I could feel it expanding again, soaking this moment in as his lips brushed softly against mine, taking me in.

That moment, for the first time since Italy and before everything fell apart, I felt safe again.

That's when a light sprinkle of rain, almost as if it was mist, started filling the air around us. I took it as a sign; the drought that I'd been living in for the last three months was over. And as I felt Alec kiss my tears away, his soft lips on my face, I felt it.

I felt hope.

* * *

**A/N: You know our apologies. No, this is NOT the end of the story, as we still have a few more key notes to play out, haha. We love you guys so much; our story has hit over 800 reviews and we're amazed. Sorry that ours isn't the most freguently updated, but some things we just can't change...like our writing habits. For your viewing pleasure, you can check out outfits and stuff...you know where to find it. :) We really do heart you guys and hope you don't take offence with Nez's note up there...we just don't handle stealing very well...hope you guys have a great weekend!  
xoxoxo**

**-IITM**


	28. Chapter 28: Revelations

**Chapter 28: Revelations**

**Alec's POV**

Nothing tortured me more then to taste the tears that slid down Renesmee's cheek. However, at the same time, I found everything inside of me thrilled to see her open herself up to me again. I was feeling so many different thing, so many emotions that I felt myself becoming overwhelmed with them all.

She was mine, officially. Renesmee Carlie Cullen-god help the middle name, was mine. Her tears tasted of bitterness and spoke volumes of what she hid from me. When I thought they would stop, the more they came down. As I held her in my arms, her fragile body began to trample and I was afraid she would break completely, and wash away from me within the mist that now surrounded us.

I was almost scared to touch her. I have not expected that response, and I was afraid that if I touched her, I would only make it worse. However, that doesn't seem to be the case. The more I tried to pull away from her, to get her space, the more she clung to my chest. Her heart raced against my unbeaten one. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. Everything was happening so fast and I didn't know what was the cause. It couldn't of been my plan of completely and utter failure. That blew up in my face, In more ways then one. I honestly don't know what I was thinking, making her jealous like that. But I did accomplish one thing; I got her to express something truthful.

But what she was going through now? I don't think it had very much to do with me anymore. This was her, finally, being the Nez I knew deep inside, and she hated me, or rather them, more than I think she realized.

As I ran my fingers gently through her soft curls, I felt my chest ache at the possibility of her changing her mind about me. She needed me now. But what about tomorrow, or the next day? I knew she loved me; she always would, I didn't doubt that. However, trust was another matter, something I knew I hadn't earned yet. It was something I found myself desperately seeking. But tonight, I will just take what I could get.

"Please say something, Nez…" I whispered in her ear, as her sobs slowly came to a stop, her breathing evening out into small pants.

She pulled away from my chest, and she looked at me with those big brown eyes, still watery. I swear I could have cried myself at the sight. God, she was even beautiful now, beautiful and broken all in one.

That's my Nez.

"I don't know what to say," she sniffled, looking down at her feet, an old habit. "I think I already said too much."

"You can never say too much."

Silence hovered in the air awkwardly as she sucked on her lower lip. I cupped her face, and wiped any other access tears away with my thumb.

"For the first time in a very long time, I have no idea what I'm doing." I chuckled uncomfortably, as Nez failed to hide a smile.

"That's a first."

"May I ask what happened? I mean, what was your breaking point?"

She frowned, and I wondered if I pushed it too soon. But before I could take back the question she replied, or rather blurted it out.

"I don't want to be Adeline."

What the hell? How could she ever think she was like her? She was nothing like her. She was sweet, warm, and compassionate; where as Addie had none of those qualities. Addie only thought of herself, she had to, it's all she had. It actually infuriated me that she was comparing herself to my ex. Did my taste not change since then? I would like to think so. I'd been with enough women to know what I did and didn't like, and Adeline wasn't anything I preferred in a partner.

Renesmee was just insulting herself, and me, and I wouldn't allow it.

I gripped her chin between my index finger and thumb, staring into her eyes to make sure she got my point loud and clear.

"You are nothing like her. I don't want to hear you say that again, understand?"

Damn it, her eyes were watering _again._ I swear, if mine could, I'd be bawling with her like a little girl.

Grow some balls, Alec. It's just tears; water, salty moisture. They don't control you.

Suddenly I saw one tear fall from her eye and onto my hand that rested on her chin. I glared down at the tear as if it were the anti Christ coming to haunt me. It was as if my whole world fell apart, right there in the palm of my hands, because of one tear.

One simple, small speck of liquid that seemed to grow like ice on my hand.

I looked back up at Nez, and her eyes were now squeezed shut, trying to keep it together; probably for my sake. The woman knows my weakness, and I could feel it.

"I don't want to lose you again," she said, eyes still closed. "I don't want to make the same mistake and spend an eternity paying for it."

"You wont. Whatever Adeline has told you-"

"Alec." She silenced me with just a finger to my lips, and I looked at her in the eyes. My was anger suddenly releasing from my body as I felt her warm fingers calm me.

"She didn't say anything bad. She helped, obviously. Though now that I have to think to reflect I have to ask you a question."

"What's that?"

"Your name, what is it?"

I gave her a puzzling expression. My name? What does that have to do with anything?

Why would she ask such a question, to which she already knew the answer too?

"What?"

"Adeline is a liar. I know you trust her. Which I will never understand, but I have to know-"

"Renesmee, I trust that woman as far as I can throw her-"

"Well, that's not saying much, because you can throw pretty effing far."

"Nez."

"I just want to know if there's any truth in what she said. I want to know if she baited me, so to speak." She said, cupping my face in her hands. I shook my head, completely confused by this change in topic.

How long had Addie spoke to Nez exactly? I had but left for what ten minutes? Thinking I had ruined all my chances at Nez's forgiveness, only to find her crying to a tree. And now, here she is in my arms, asking me for my name? I only but one name that I know of. The only name that mattered and she knew it already. Unless she wished for my superb name, and that I do not go by, for it the name of my father.

Inhumane bastard.

Looking at Nez though, I could see that that was the name she was referring too and I did not see the need to bring it up. It was in the past. And long forgotten like the rest of those fools in Palermo. I only had Jane left of my past. That was all that mattered. How my name came up in her chat with Addie, I'll never know but I don't see why it was important to bring it up now. What good would it do? What point did it serve only to make me anguish? But then again Nez always did have a thing for knowing about the past, much to my dislike.

"Why is it so important to you? Why now?" I asked. Nez shrugged, and looked away from me as her arms wrapped themselves around my waist, as she buried herself into my body.

"You know me, old habits are hard to break." Nez joked lamely.

I laughed despite my best efforts, and Renesmee smiled as if she won at a game. Only I couldn't for the life of me, get what the prize was, but I was glad she wasn't crying anymore, and could actually joke with me. It was like the old days when we were happy.

So I didn't complain. I just wished she hadn't brought up this subject. I promised myself years ago, I would leave everything behind me. Everything of those horrible people and be a new Alec. The only problem with that is Nez brought out the old one quite

frequently, and it was doing my head in.

"I don't remember it, honestly." I said automatically.

"Liar."

"I speak only the truth now. I swear.."

I closed my eyes, and remembered, or at least tried to remember my full name. It's been so long since I've heard it. I haven't even remembered I had any other name besides Alec until now. It was all so hazy.

But I remember Adeline always calling me Alexander, and my Father correcting her. Always correcting her. If I remember right.

What was that name? I closed my eyes and thought back to that day of the fire. The last time I ever saw that monster's face.

Nothing came to me. I have mentally blocked it. It was like there was a bad connection in my brain. I just remember hating it. And hating the nickname Alexander even more. Jane use to tout me with it as a child, and I would go into a raging fit.

Suddenly, Nez's cheek was about mine. Her lavender scent brushed into my nose, and for a moment the only thing I could hear was her heart beating. I completely content in that moment, when six words came out of her mouth in nothing but a whisper.

"I love you, Alessandro Lucio Gravina."

Her voice was soft and comforting to my ear; my body instantly getting chills. And had I a pulse, it would of quickened.

That was it. That was the name. How could Addie remember all of that and I couldn't remember my own freaking birthday? Not that I care, but still.

Hearing that name come from anyone else would of cost them some heads, That's for sure. But hearing it from Nez now? I wanted nothing more then to hear it over and over. In fact it just now became the most beautiful sound in the world. Besides hearing Nez say she loved me of course.

Looking at her in complete shock, Nez smiled, and grabbed my hand, pulling me along with her as she walked unknowingly into the woods.

For a second, I stalled, after all I just heard my last name for the first time in oh, I don't know ever? But then the looked in her big brown eyes made me realized I would of walked to my death if she had. Filled with such love and dare I say trust?

I will never betray her again. Even if Edward and Bella asked me to leave, I wouldn't. I'd fight to my end just to keep this look on her face forever. We were finally happy. After everything we've been through and done, we were content. I never thought I'd live to see the day.

Actually that's a lie. I was pretty convinced that I'd get her to trust me again. However, if someone asked me a hour ago if I still thought that, I would of laughed.

Can this really be happening to us? Was I really free to be this content in my life? Never had I been this way in all my years with the Volturi. We were done fighting. Well…almost.

We still had Edward and Bella to deal with. Not to mention the mutt. I don't know how we were going to handle that one, but I wasn't about to ask her it now, and ruin the good mood I suddenly found myself in. Things were definitely looking up, and I'd be damned if it's gone because of Jacob Black.

After a couple of moments we finally stopped walking. I looked ahead of me and saw a small, and quiet looking cottage. It was small, but endearing, nonetheless. I looked at the small house in confusion, not too sure why we were here.

As I drew nearer, I felt a sense of familiarity, which was odd because I'd never been here before. But the feeling was strong, as if I was walking into a brick wall. It was a sense of warmth, and a lot of love.

I knew then that this could be one thing: Nez's real home.

"Why haven't you been staying here with Duckie?" I asked.

She looked at me, puzzled.

"Well, it's roomier at the other house, obviously…How did you know?"

"I'll never tell," I teased, watching her curiosity grow.

I thought she would investigate further in a typical Nez fashion, but instead she grinned, an enthusiasm sparkled within her eyes that I hadn't seen for too long. She showed signs of life, of the girl that was so unpredictable and lively.

My heart swelled with delight again, seeing her at ease. What did I do to gain any love from this woman? I often looked back at when we first met, and I remember that look in her eyes, that look that was so fascinated and intrigued by me, and I know she must have saw something in me, something no one else saw. What that is, I'll probably never know or understand. I'm just thankful she did.

I'm thankful she pushed my buttons, dug into my past, spoke out place and basically drove me insane, because she taught me how to feel something. I always went with the flow, never questioned anything, never stood up for myself. It didn't make any sense to my how such a young girl could be so much smarter than me, how she realized things within months with the Volturi that I hadn't learned in centuries with them.

I guess I'd have to accept that she was a bit more intuitive than me.

Still smiling, she took my hand in hers and urged me forward to the cottage.

She was opening the front door, when I suddenly grabbed her wrist, stopping her. She looked at me in confusion, not understanding what I was doing.

"Before we go in…there's something I need to tell you, because I promised I'd never keep anything from you again…" I said guiltily.

I couldn't go inside her house with the weight of Addie's kiss my shoulders; I just couldn't. The small space of the house would suffocate me. I couldn't do that to Nez either. Like I said, I promised there wouldn't be any more secrets.

Anxiety washed over her face instantly, pure dread taking over. I felt as though I had already kicked her in the gut, but I had to say it, even if she hated me for it. No secrets.

"What is it?" She tried to sound calm and brave, but I knew better. She was trying to think of what it was, analyzing everything inside her head. I think that just made it worse.

_Say it. Just say it, you coward. _

A few more moments passed, and I was still trying to summon the courage to spit it out.

"You can tell me…" Her voice cracked out of nervousness, but it gave me a little more initiative to come out with it.

I took a deep breath, and prayed to myself silently.

"I kissed Adeline."

I said it with eye contact, not wanting her to think I was hiding from my consequences. I said it with as much bravery as I could muster. By this point I had stopped breathing, completely vulnerable and silent, dreading her reaction.

The worst part was, I couldn't read on her face what she was feeling. She blinked once, and continued to stare into my eyes, but said nothing. Her body language was stiff, but it didn't suggest that she was trying to angry. But slowly, her eyes started to reveal a little more feeling, and I saw a small wound spread across her features.

I knew this was to be expected, but still, knowing she was hurting once again because of me was just cruel. I really did despise myself for this.

When I thought she was going to start yelling, or worse, crying, she just sighed deeply and shifted her weight.

"When?" She asked as calm and composed as I'd ever heard her when inquiring about a subject that stung. I felt like I was slapped in the face from the shock. Her eyes, still showing signs of being hurt, were still soft and relaxed. She was still stiff, but she didn't pull away from my touch like I expected her to.

This wasn't normal. Not for her. Was she ill?

I struggled to find a voice again.

"It…it was the day of my trial, right before I went back in to learn my fate. I…believed I would die."

Not giving me a chance to recover from saying that, she asked another question.

"Why did you…?"

"Because it was something she wanted…a way to say goodbye, I suppose. I understood it, it was merely a favor." I choked out. "I didn't want to die feeling completely empty inside…but I wasn't empty. I never stopped thinking about you, not once."

She remained at ease, and I still couldn't wrap my head around it. Perhaps she was on the brink of cracking, but it hadn't sunk in yet. Because there was no way she would just let this go and forgive me.

Right?

"I'm sorry," I said shamefully, lowering my head.

I felt her soft hand on my chin, and she tilted my face back up to meet hers.

"That's good, because there lips?" She traced the lines of my mouth with her fingers softly, and I closed my eyes, hoping this was real. "These lips are _mine._ Your kisses belong to _me._"

"That was never questioned." I said honestly, sliding my hands around her waist.

I still kept waiting for her to pull away from me, disgusted, but she never moved. Her touch was still affectionate, a playful note appearing in her eyes.

"I know." Confidence and pride sung from her voice. I stared at her in awe, smiling softly.

"I don't understand, how you're taking this so smoothly." I admitted, shaking my head.

She smiled a small smile, and shrugged.

"I'm sick of being angry, and by the look of it, you're punishing yourself more than I ever could."

"I doubt that," I replied, pulling her close me, wanting to feel her warmth again. I rested my forehead against hers, running my fingers through her glossy ringlets.

So, it was apparent. She was so out of my league. If I wasn't so selfish, I would have encouraged her to find someone who actually deserved her. But that wasn't happening, not ever. I wasn't going to resist what I needed the most, not if she would have me. Even if I didn't understand why, I wouldn't dwell on it and waste the time I had with her.

"It's in the past, and has nothing to do with us…I want to move forward."

Her lips were so close to mine; I could feel her warm breath brush against my lips. It was comforting.

Hearing talk like this, and the way she looked at me, all made me conclude that this was one of the best moments of my life. The moment where the past was past, and the future awaited us. I knew we weren't officially out of the ditch quite yet, but this was a big leap in the right direction.

"_Ti amo, la mia perla." _I whispered, planting small kisses on her cheek and jaw ever so slowly, making sure she was okay with it.

"_Ti amo_…too?" She replied, questioning what she was saying and if she was saying it correctly.

I laughed against her neck, smirking to myself.

"You have to question whether or not you love me back?" I teased, pulling back.

Nez beginning a sentence in Italian and finishing it in English was adorable. The pout she gave me was even more adorable, yet at the same time very alluring. I found myself wanting to tug on those plumped, tight little lips. Among other things…

_Easy, Alec…_

Too late. My mind was already wandering, and I was growing very erect in the process.

Damn. It. I hope she didn't notice. I stepped back from her, seeing as if I stayed that close to her much longer she'd feel something moving.

Stop thinking about it. Just don't think about it. Willpower, learn it, live it.

_How velvety and sweet she skin was under my tongue…_

_Those pink, taut, nipples….the milky skin of her thighs…_

Shit.

"Alec? Are you okay?"

Her voice seemed to jerk me back into my right mind, and I nodded quickly, shuffling my feet.

Besides from the fact I'm so hard that I'm hurting…

"I'm fine, why?"

She shrugged, and said that we'd been standing outside long enough. She invited me to come inside, and upon stepping into the small house, my mind was distracted by how cozy and warm it was inside.

The décor was simple, but elegant in it's own way. Pictures were hanging on the wall, and I stepped closer to them, getting a better look. They were mostly of Renesmee from her childhood, and much to my dismay, Jacob was in most of them. But I ignored him and concentrated on her. I smiled at one of her, about twelve or thirteen, baring her teeth with her hands in a clawed manner, attempting to look like a sexy lioness or something.

She was posing as if she were in a photo shoot for some high fashion magazine. Sad part it, it could have been in one.

I heard her giggle from behind me.

"I had been having an off day with my hunting, and Jasper commented that it was probably because I wasn't intimidating enough…I tried to prove him wrong."

"Try, being the key word, I think."

A playful but very real growl emerged from her chest, and I grinned, my back still to her. In a second's time she was facing me, her eyes seductive and suggestive. She was so damn beautiful. I swear, sometimes it didn't seem real how perfect she was. She was like a goddess and didn't even realize it.

"Take that back, Alec." She warned, cocking an eyebrow.

"You don't want me to take it back though."

"Hmm?"

"You want me to say I wont take it back so you'll have an excuse to prove to me how intimidating you are…well, I'm not going to make it easy for you."

_Ah, the pout returns. _

She then smirked and tossed the hair out of her face, folding her arms across her chest. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander to her breasts, because, well, she drew attention to them. I was sort of sensitive right now to everything around me. Very sensitive.

"Is this some sort of reverse psychology method? If so, then I'll have you know that I'm so extremely tough, that I'm not even the least bit affected by anything you're saying right now." A smile played at her lips. "I am _very _intimidating when I want to be."

I thought she would stop at that, but then she inched near me, and with her hands she gently grazed them down my chest, making sure to take her time with it to torture me. Down my chest, to my abdomen; lower and lower she went; her eyes never left mine. I stood rigid in my place, not daring to move an inch, anticipating her next move, for I had no idea what it was.

But, just to tease me, she hooked her fingers into my belt, tugging lightly.

"I'm not scared of you, Nez."

She let out a sigh, as if she was disappointed, but I knew she was faking it. Same old Nez.

"That's too bad…"

And just like, space took place between us again, and she started to walk away. I gulped, letting out a silent breath of my own.

"C'mon, I'll give you the grand tour." She called, not phased at all by what just happened. What. The. Hell.

Here I was, having an attack to my member, in serious need, and she was content as could be. She was bullying me, and she knew it. She knew what I was going through and she was thriving on it.

Damn, I loved her.

Apart of me wondered how she was so content with teasing me sexually so soon. I wouldn't have thought she was ready for that. Then again, she did jump me when I came back…

Don't get your hopes up, dickhead.

I couldn't help it. I wanted to make love to her, but I wouldn't. Not until I was certain she really wanted to.

The tour was short. As in, one bathroom, kitchen/dining room/living room short. But the grant finale was her bedroom, something I'd been dying to see for a while. I knew that the room at Cullen's house wasn't exactly her style. That room was too plain and without color, and there wasn't clothes laying across the floor. It just wasn't Nez.

I smiled when I entered, nodding to myself as I looked around.

Yep. It was all there.

Dark purple walls, multicolored bed spread which was on an unmade bed, a fluffy rug in front of her dresser which was piled with magazines and accessories, a shelf lined movies, vampire books, and of course, right on her bed stand was a giant bottle of lavender lotion.

I knew it.

The scent was intoxicating. Faint because she hadn't been there in while, but still very strong. Her closet door was open, and I saw the dress she had worn to her birthday ball hanging inside. My heart dropped a little. She took it back with her. I would've figured she left that in Italy, or threw it away.

"Yeah, it's a little messy in here. I haven't had a chance to really clean up…"

Excuses, excuses.

Looking along the floor, I spotted another familiar item of clothing, or rather undergarments. It was that bra with blue stars that had been the death of me. I smiled, recalling how angry I was that she would tease me like that, wearing a hoodie with only her bra underneath. She had said she didn't do it on purpose; I disagreed.

It seemed that the moment we stepped into that room, our moods suddenly shifted, and it was no longer the playfulness that we had before. It was tense.

We spent more time in her room, talking and trying not to make it more awkward than possible. But it seemed the more we tried not to make it awkward, it became even more uncomfortable. I suspected she felt the same way, and I eventually sighed in frustration, sitting down at the edge of her bed.

"It shouldn't be like this," I complained, gazing up at her. She bit her lip unknowingly, a gesture that drove me insane. But not in a bad way.

"Be like what?" She said, trying to sound ignorant. I knew better, and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about," I said. "Maybe we shouldn't be in here…"

She stared at me in confusion.

"In my house?""In your bedroom," I corrected, motioning to the room.

Again, she bit her lip, and I heard her heart rate pick up slightly.

I wish I knew what she was thinking. Did she need more time to heal from everything that had happened? Did she need more time to get used to me being in her life romantically? I mean, sure, we'd been romantic as could be in Italy, on the yacht. But it was different now.

We were different.

How were we to come together now? I still craved that impulsive behavior we had, it was just who we were then. But I didn't quite know if she had grown out of that, or was looking for something more serious. Not to say our relationship shouldn't be serious, it should. But it should also contain a playful side, like it used to. I saw a little bit of the old Nez peak through earlier in the living room, so I knew it wasn't completely out of her.

Just had to take it one step at a time, that's all. I couldn't expect things to be exactly as they were in one night, it just wasn't possible. Hell, I didn't _want _things to be exactly like they were. The secrets…no, I wanted none of that back.

I just wanted her, in everyway possible.

So much.

"Is the bedroom a problem?" She asked, her voice squeaking.

_Thump, thump, thump._

Her heart kept going faster and faster until it was all I could hear. I could see the veins in her neck jump slightly.

"That depends."

"On what?" She looked like she was about to burst, eagerly awaiting my answer.

"On whether or not we can continue on talking like we actually know each other, instead of carrying on like strangers." I said, an undertone of bitterness.

She frowned, and down next to me, her side leaning into mine.

"We were fine a few minutes ago…" Her voice was just as disappointed as I was feeling. "What the hell is wrong with us? We're acting like an old brooding couple who're depressed because the guy is impotent or something."

It took a moment for what she said to sink in, and then I found myself laughing uncontrollably, tossing my head back as I intertwined my fingers through hers. She giggled too, obviously pleased to cut some of the tension.

"I am _not _impotent." I defended myself, trying to act offended, but couldn't seem to due to the laughing from my end.

Nez smiled coolly, something twinkling in her eyes.

"I am very aware of that."

I smirked, pride shining through.

Damn right, she was aware.

She laughed for a few more minutes, and then she began to stare at me with a passionate look in her eyes.

"Alec…" She breathed the name with so much adoration, my heart swelled again. "I miss you."

"I'm right here," I assured her, trailing my hand softly along the side of her face. Her cheek burned underneath my skin, and I swear her heart was beating faster still.

_Not close enough…_ She whispered into my mind. Her voice inside my head was like waves crashing against the shore, you never wanted it to stop. I stared at her in amazement, only then realizing what she meant by that statement.

Just the mention alone of sex was enough to send signals downward once more, and I grunted. I wanted nothing more than to grant her wishes, that was known. But was she really ready for sex again so soon? I couldn't imagine getting close and her having to pull away last minute; though I would if she needed me to.

Just then, I started remembering things again, and that only made it worse. I loved her too damn much, sometimes more than I could handle.

"Nez, please-" That was all I managed to get out before her mouth was on my neck. Her lips were like soft pedals gracing my skin, while her hair fell into my face. I inhaled, trying to find strength within me. I was seconds away from giving in, from forgetting everything, from ignoring that little voice inside my head.

But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

Too much had happened tonight, in the last few months. Before, in Italy, things moved fast, way too fast. We were so connected, so intimate, so in love before we really knew what was happening. It was my fault, really. I should have said no the night she offered herself to me in that yacht, I should have been a man about the situation and told her the truth. But at the time I could only think about how much I just wanted to touch her, to be with her. Now? I just wanted to make sure she got whatever she needed. Even if she didn't realize it now, what she needed was time.

"Renesmee."

I said her name sharp and stern, my eyes sewn shut. Her lips lingered at my neck, her body all of the sudden stiff and unaware. She slowly pulled back, and I could feel her confused eyes burning into my skin.

"Don't you…" Her voice was soft and fragile. I cringed, knowing what was going to follow. "…Want too?"

I opened my eyes. Her brows were arched upward, and disappointment, embarrassment and rejection were stamped across her face. I frowned, cupping her face in my hands.

"You know I do, Nez. But not tonight…it doesn't feel right."

How was I going to explain this to her to where she would understand where I was coming from? I knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling. I was feeling it too, and every physical instinct in my body told me to go for it. But I just couldn't. I kept seeing her weeping, her tears in my head, and most of them had only happened not that long ago. She was looking for me to comfort her, to erase all the pain inside of her. And I would. But that didn't mean sex was the way to do it. Also, I knew she wasn't ready. She could argue that point all she wanted, but I saw it in her eyes. Too much traumatizing events had taken place just after we made love the first time, and that was going to be very present in her mind for a while. It was a reminder. Perhaps that was why she wanted to do it now, to make a new memory that wouldn't be tainted.

Again, we could do that without sex. I was only doing it out of respect for her. I would never do anything to taint her again.

"There's you and there's me…what doesn't feel right? We're together…we're-"

"_Barley _into making our way through this mess, Perla." I interrupted, my voice soft. "Not but too long ago, you were screaming at me, letting a lot of things out that you've been bottling up. We aren't going to be magically cured in minutes, Nez. We need to take our time, familiarize ourselves with each other again…"

She frowned, the slightest bit of irritation lurking beneath her features.

'But you already know me. And I know you. I don't see the point in waiting when…we both want it."

I sighed, stepping up off the bed. I walked to her window, pulling back the curtain to peek out at the rainy weather.

"It's what we want, certainly. But is it something we need this very night?"

She didn't answer, and silence filled the room. I nodded, stepping around to face her.

"We have an eternity to do whatever we want…but what I think we need right now is to just…talk to each other."

Her face fell even further, and she stepped up off the bed as well, taking a couple of steps forward.

"Talk?" She repeated, as if she didn't hear me correctly.

I chuckled, wrapping my arms around her waist, pulling her to my chest. She didn't return the gesture. Instead, she just stood in my arms, limp. That made me laugh harder. I knew she realized that I was right, but that didn't mean she was going to take it nicely.

Poor Nez.

"Well, see…we haven't actually _talked_ to each other like civilized beings in some time…I think I quite miss it."

I felt her smile, and my heart lifted.

"Alec…we've never talked like civilized beings."

"All the more reason to miss it then, hmm?" I kissed the top of her head, inhaling her scent of her hair.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, one of her hands played with the ends of my hair. She stared at me curiously, looking as though she was trying to figure out what was going on through my head.

"It has been a long day…a stressful day, what with Adeline and all…and my meltdown." Nez said quietly, sighing deeply. I nodded in agreement.

I was hoping this would be the end of it and that she would understand why I was doing this. But after another moment, her eyes narrowed, and I knew that wouldn't be the case. After all, she wouldn't be Nez if she didn't go down without a fight. I rolled my eyes ever before she started speaking in annoyance. In fact, I stopped her even before she could make out a word.

"Nez, please just…think about what I'm saying. Do you really think you're ready?"

"I don't think it's me who has the problem with being ready," she retorted softly, still playing with my hair.

I felt a smile tug upwards.

"What if I said that were true, that I wasn't ready?" I asked playfully, leaning into her lips.

"Then I'd say you were worse than a girl," she replied. "I swear, you remind me more of my father more and more each day. Not that I know what my father would do in this type of situation but still."

I froze, and I felt my eyes widen in horror. Somewhere in the distance I could hear horror music bellowing out, nearing closer and closer.

What the hell did that mean!

No. No, no, _NO! _This was NOT a compliment, especially coming from her. Why would she insult me like this? My dignity level dropped a huge level, and I felt as though I was just kicked in the gut. I'm not saying that I despise Edward that much, but honestly? Renesmee telling me I reminded her of her father? That was not right. In fact that was abnormal in every level. I was suppose to be who she desired and loved, not her dad, who she felt told her how to live her life, and not like herself.

She observed my stiff posture and expression, and began to laugh. I glared at her in return.

"If you had any chance of seducing me, it just flew out the window." I stated in a disgusted tone of voice. She continued to smile, my discomfort not phasing her.

"I'm just saying…you're getting so…gentle."

I raised my eyebrows curiously.

"Gentle…?"

"Yeah…soft. I mean, it's not a bad thing but-"

I jerked her forward, crashing my lips down onto hers. She was shocked at the immediate and sudden kiss, but I gave her no chance to come up for breath. I continued to dominate her lips with mine, moving them roughly and desperately against her. I let my tongue merge with hers, and I heard her moan inside my mouth, her hands grasping at the fabric of my shirt. I let my hands travel down her back, and I pressed her up against me, eliminating any space between us.

I felt so alive, so free. We were made for each other. The way we moved against each other, it was just perfect. No woman ever made me feel like this. I wanted her to know she was wrong in a instant. Alec of the Volturi was not, nor will ever be gentle. She felt so good to be close. I felt Renesmee pull at my shirt, her hands moving on the inside. Her warm fingers dancing across my marble skin as she continued to kiss me eagerly.

But all things had to come to an end, because I meant what I said before. We weren't ready. I just did this to prove her wrong, though damn it was hard to stop something when I really wanted it.

I pulled away from her mouth, and she gasped, breathing harshly against me. I leaned my lips down to her ear, steadying myself.

"You have no idea how much I want you, perla…_come duro sono per lei. _You are so beautiful, _così tentare. ..so perfeziona._" I whispered, my breath hitting her skin as I spoke. She shivered against me, still grasping onto me desperately. "But I have to be true to my instincts on _both_ levels…not just my body and my feelings for you, but what I know is right. So please…don't make this harder than it already is."

She still breathed rigidly, her chest heaving against my own.

"You make it sound so easy…I…I'm so…"

"I know…" I smiled softly, knowing what she meant. Our bodies screamed for each other, needing to be touched, stimulated, pleasured…

She looked down. "I guess I get why you'd want to wait though…"

"I'm not asking for you to wait a decade here…just a couple of days until…things sink in a little more."

She pouted and in a speed as fast as lightning, threw herself on top of me, her hands still in my shirt from before. She it off me completely and throwing it on the floor somewhere in the room. It didn't feel like she was forcing herself on me or pressuring me into sex, however I knew if I gave it, she'd gladly take the offer. Right now she was just being playful, something I missed more then anything.

"How do you know I'm not ready?"

"Because I can see it in your face." I said, brushing my fingers across her cheek.

She leaned her face into my palm, as her hands moved up and down my chest slowly.

My body wanted more then anything to feel her, though I didn't want to rush anything with us.

Nez then leaned down and kissed my lips softly, her mouth then moved to my cheek and down my neck. I know this sounds as if we were about to get hot and heated, but in all honestly, the mood of the way she was kissing me wasn't there. When Nez pushed for sex, she was more dominating then this. That doesn't mean I didn't feel the spark; that was always there. I did and it was almost sending me to insanity.

Nez, an angel and demon at the same time, giving me a taste without allowing me to enjoy her as a whole.

But I was a honorable man. I just wish she didn't tease me like this for punishment. Without so much as a word, Renesmee then moved to get off of me, and lay at my side. Facing me, her fingers brushed my hair out of my face sending chills down my spine as I closed my eyes, her fingers continued to move, tracing the lines of my face.

"What did you do besides kiss Adeline while you were away? You seemed to have learned a lot of things."

"I have. But the whole time I was away, I always thought of you. Waiting for the right moment to come back to you."

She nodded in understanding. I tried to focus on her fingers moving to my mouth. I stayed completely still, enjoying the interaction as she spoke to me.

"When you were gone, I felt lost. If that even makes sense." She paused, looking for the right words. "Like, I didn't know what I was feeling, and what I was feeling I didn't like. It felt like I didn't know who I was, like somehow, I lost Renesmee in Italy. But I didn't want people to worry, so I kept it to myself, and when I found out you were gone-"

"How did you know?" I asked, alerted.

Nez shrugged and lay her head on my chest. Lavender invaded my nose. Her heart beat against my chest, making me feel as if we shared it. Her body was suddenly very tense.

"They came and told me," she said as I looked at her puzzlingly.

"Whose 'they?'"

"Felix and Demetri. They were ordered to look for you."

"_What_?_"_

My body was now on full attack mode. They'd been here? I trusted Felix, sure, but that didn't mean I liked the idea of him and his search party coming within a distance of Nez's house, especially when it's only her and her human friend. I'm not worried so much for her life, as I truly believe in her capability (at least that's what I tell myself) to take care of herself, but Duckie is just a mere human. I wanted answers as to what happened, detail for detail on the events. But before I could get a word out, Renesmee crushed her lips to mine, stunning me to silence. Well, almost.

"Before you go on a rampage, remember I'm still alive-"

"They shouldn't of even been here, especially Demetri!"

"But I'm alive, I mean sure they were going to take me as bait but…_shit_."

"_BAIT_?"

I was seeing red. Rage was not a word one would use on how I was feeling. I wanted to go and rip someone's head off, and continue to I reached Italy myself. I wanted to kill my former family. I wanted to punish them for even thinking of taking her back to that place. The only reason I could think of as to why they didn't continue was because of Felix. That was the only logical reason, which made me want to thank the man who helped me when I hadn't kept my word. As to how he talked Demitri into not going forward with this horrible plan, I will never know, and I'm not sure I want to.

I was still livid; my body completely stiff, and my hands clenched into fists at my side. I truly have underestimated Aro's desire to have the perfect coven. A part of me, a small whisper within my mind, wondered if that desire had faded, and he no longer wanted me. But I quickly pushed that thought out of my mind. However, I couldn't push the anger out as easily, and Nez just hung on to me tighter as a reaction. As if that was going help ease the rage.

It worked, but very little.

I tried to find reason in my brain, tried to calm myself down, but I only started coming up with images of violent ways of ending that damned coven. It had to be done, I realized. They had to be killed. All of them. If they were, then I wouldn't have to concern myself with anything other what was right in front of me now. Was I going to bring this up now? No.

I didn't want to ruin a good thing. Nevertheless, it would come up eventually. Whether or not I take part in the ending of the coven myself is yet to be decided. When I gained my freedom, I decided then and there, I was no longer living for just one, but two. I had to talk to Nez about it.

Did I doubt she'd want me in such a act? Yes. Did it matter? Very. And to be honest, I didn't want to go Italy and fight a war. Call me a wuss, but I didn't want to take the chance in being away from Renesmee, my main concern during all of this. Though besides our safety was my sister's and Felix's.

If a battle were to happen, I'd want to know about their well being the most.

As if reading my mind, Nez sighed annoyingly, tensing against my chest again.

"We're never going to be happy, are we?"

I looked down at her and wrapped my arm around her body, kissing her hair. My distaste subsiding finally, yet not enough to please me.

"What makes you think we're not happy now?"

She shot me a look and sat up on her knees, looking down at me.

"Because I know you, Alec. Right now you're wanting to go out for blood, which I get but…I'm tired of fighting for something that should be acceptable already." She frowned. "I want it to just be us now. No Volturi drama…Does that sound selfish?"

I shook my head, completely understanding where she was coming from. After all, I wanted the same thing. However, I still thought the coven should be ended. It's been too long in power of the vampire world, and so many people have died for nothing. Not to mention the people in the Volturi itself who wanted their lives to be their own. It wasn't right. It was a moral dilemma, one of which needed to stop if I was ever going to enjoy my life.

"I just think the Volturi shouldn't have the right to do what they please like that. You could have been hurt." I said as calmly as I could, sitting up with her. Nez rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through her flowing hair.

"Okay, but nothing has to be decided tonight. Like the sex issue, we'll just take one battle at a time." She added jokingly. "We still have to think about my parents and what we're going to tell them. Because right now I'm more scared of them than Aro. Call me crazy."

She was crazy. But I could relate to being scared of a parents' reaction. Yet her parents were nothing like mine. The were simple. They loved her and wanted nothing more then her happiness, right? I mean sure, I disagreed with some things they did but everyone had their disagreements on things.

No one was prefect. Still, what could they possibly do? Tell me to get lost? Not going to happen. I've come too far- correction, _we've _come too far for Edward and Bella Cullen to cause us fear. I wasn't going anywhere without Renesmee. And she wasn't going anywhere without me. The Cullen clan will just have to deal it. The Volturi on the other hand, was something we should think about, I thought. Then again, Renesmee had a point. One step at a time.

The Cullens today, the other shit tomorrow, I guess. It's really refreshing not having to worry about too much, not living under someone's shadow. I find myself slipping back to that person, but Nez pulls me though, reminding me that that was not my life anymore. I wanted to kick myself in the ass for even considering a war with Aro over this now. Even though a part of me still thinks it's a good idea. I suppose it the vampire nature of mine, always wanting bloodshed.

I groaned, frustrated.

"One battle at a time." I said, pulling her to me, kissing her neck sweetly.

Suddenly, Nez's body became very comfortable against mine, her heart beat starting to slow as she yawned.

"Yep. One day at a time." She mumbled, laying back down on the bed, pulling me down with her.

She nuzzled into my side, her eyes closing as exhaustion seemed to wash over her. I picked up the blanket that was under up and quickly covered us with it. Nez adjusted to the blanket being pulled and found herself back at my side. She was so tired, I could tell. And before I could even say goodnight, she was drifting.

I found myself dreading her sleeping. I didn't know what to expect now that we were on homeland, but for some reason I couldn't think it'd be any different and knowing from the past, Renesmee had bad, livid dreams. She would toss and turn when on the yacht. And I was scared what she would be dreaming tonight.

She looked so at ease in the beginning, like she was finally seeing an end to a horrific tornado. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but when I caressed her cheek, I found myself receiving images. Multiple, colorful visions, dancing across my mind as if they were my own.

Some of them were of us kissing and making love, and just being happy. The others were with us and her family together. I was definitely seeing into this girl's dreams, because that was plainly impossible. I mean, the idea is nice, you know, us being around her family, while they gave us both hugs and welcoming me into the family. But in reality it wouldn't happened. It kind of made me feel sad for Renesmee though. She really wanted her family to accept me as a person and all have a happy ending. Even Jacob and I got along in some of these dream visions and I don't know about him but he was not on my list to impress.

As I watched Nez's dream, I started to wonder if this was some kind of slideshow of what she really wanted for her own life. If she wanted us to be in her family's coven or something. I would do it, no questions asked, but I didn't see them accepting it blinded. It would take a while for them to come around to even the idea. I also knew deep down, Renesmee wasn't the one to stay in one place. As I mentioned many times, she was a free bird, one that kept moving and growing as a person. She needed to be let out; how was I going to make her see that?

Maybe we could be our own coven, make our own rules and just be together, just the two of us. I would never pressure her to leave her family forever, we would always be apart of their lives, as I am in Jane's. But we'd be free to make are our own choices. I'd have to ask her about it sometime.

Suddenly, the dream slowly shifted to a large, green field. It was raining. I watched curiously as Nez appeared in the dream, smiling and twirling, her face lit up like it was her birthday and she was seeing her cake for the first time. I chuckled quietly as I continued to snoop in her dreamland. Forget giving her privacy, this was the most entertaining thing to do while she slept.

"_Alec!" _She yelled, throwing herself into my arms, and both of us crashing to the wet ground in laughter.

"_Have you ever played baseball in the rain?" _

"_No…never played, actually.." _Dream Me said.

It was very odd seeing me as she saw me, talking and moving without my control. At least my dream-self was honest. I had never played the game before, and by the looks of it, I wasn't sure I wanted to. I had a huge wooden stick like tool in my hands now, where it came from I had idea, because I wasn't holding it a moment ago.

What the hell?

Like the bat, as Nez called it, a ball appeared in her own hands. She was setting up to aim it at me, when suddenly in the far distance I could see her family, mixing with mine… walking up to us?

"Jane?" I said out loud to myself in the real world, as my brows arched forward in puzzlement. I had thought this was the moment I had been waiting for. The moment that the sweet dreams would become nightmares and I braced myself for what's to come when suddenly I saw something appear on Jane's face. It was the oddest thing I had ever witnessed. Something I hadn't seen since we were children.

It was….a smile.

_"La risata tanto quanto lei respira, Alessandro, ed ama finché lei può vivere". _

Dream Nez suddenly turned towards me. Her eyes showing confusion.

"_What did she say?"_

I didn't get the chance to answer her in the dream because before I knew it, my new cell phone was going off in my pocket. Before I woke Renesmee I went into the living room and answered.

"Hello?"

"Please, for the love of God, tell me you're on good terms with your woman?" Felix's voice shouted on the other end.

I laughed at his eagerness to know the details of where Renesmee and I stood, not knowing what to tell him until he explained his interest.

"Look, it's not funny. Duckie's flipping out, looking for you guys. She said Little Nez just disappeared and now I'm getting like a hundred calls from her asking if I know anything. I completely spaced on the fact that you got yourself a cell…Which by the way you should learn to use and-"

"Felix…"

"Yeah?"

"Breathe. We're at her parents little cottage through the woods, not far from Duckie. Renesmee and I are fine. She's sleeping."

"Yeah? You lovebirds make up or…"

"I believe that is our business Felix, but if you must know.."

"Duh."

"Were taking it one day at a time." I answered him as I sat on the couch. Felix scoffed in annoyance. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

Felix was always the one in our coven to have a interest in gossip, it was as if he was a chick on this sort of thing. However, I did see why he'd want to know this. He's proven to me and Renesmee he truly cared, and for a Volturi member, that meant a lot, considering they were filled with a bunch of heartless people.

Of course, I always knew Felix was fond of my girl, however what he did for her when they came looking for me was another thing in entirely. It proved to me that he loved her as if she was his sister. And that meant a great deal to me. It also explained why he hated me so much for kissing Adeline. He had switched teams.

"Uh huh…one day at a time. _Righhttttt. _Did you tell her about your two timing ass?"

"I told her about kissing Adeline, yes."

"Huh. I wouldn't of taken you back if it were me. She must really love you, or she's mentally crazy."

"Or both." I added, laying my head back on the couch, thinking on how truly lucky I was for having one as forgiving as Renesmee Cullen. It had to be luck, because no normal person would even consider talking to me much less confess to still being in love with me. I was now officially blessed. I knew that now. "Thank you, Felix."

"For…?"

"Taking care of Renesmee while I was away. I know you came here and I appreciate what you did."

"No problem. Just next time, could you please do what you promise? Please?"

"Absolutely….Felix, do you ever wonder about the Volturi's power. That they have too much…?"

A moment passed without so much as a word. For a second I had wondered if Felix had hung up on me but then I heard a lot of static and slurring sounds. Felix was running. Maybe for privacy? I'd understand. Even mentioning the possibility of ending the coven would end up in our death, mine included. But I have to ask…

Did Aro expect it? Did he expect me to want to fight them? I know Nez said to take one battle at the time and that I should honor her request, and just think about what the Cullen's bring us. But now that I was on the phone with Felix, my insider I suppose, I couldn't help it. I had to know I wasn't alone in this, and apparently I wasn't. Felix had wanted the same. Why else would he run from ears hearing the chat?

He had to agree with me.

"Alec man, you need to think before saying shit like that." He said moments later. I muttered under my breath.

"Well?" I asked, tried of waiting on his input.

"Well, what?"

"C'mon, Felix, don't play dumb. Do you ever think about the ending of the Volturi?"

"Of course I have, which is why I'm not telling you anything. You need to leave this alone, okay? Your life is not with us anymore. What happens here, is not your concern-"

"Felix! My sister is there, damn it! I have to know what your plans are, I mean, are you wanting a war on your hands? I can be-"

"Alec, leave it alone. Your sister is fine. We are fine. The more questions you ask, the more at risk you're making everything. Just live, okay? Take care, brother."

And with that, the phone call was done. I didn't understand this. Was there a battle happening or what? Was my sister at a risk of loosing her life, or was she fine? I tried to call Felix back, but got no answer. In fact, the bastard turned his phone off.

I didn't know what to think. I wanted in on what they were doing. At least be informed on what seemed like a very rash battle. I knew nothing of a planned fight. I knew nothing of anyone else wanting the Volturi to end. I just thought it was me. And now? What was happening now? A part of me wanted to go back home and see for myself. But I knew better, Felix was right. If there was a battle, which I'm still unsure of, I would be a risk on their lives the moment I entered the country. Aro would want to know why, but yet I couldn't help but feel like I could be a asset in some ways, wouldn't I?

Why the hell hadn't people told me about this? Why hadn't someone called me to let me know they were wanting to attack the Volturi? I assume that's what they were doing after all, weren't they? It would be the smart thing. Gather vampires of the coven together and make them work against the main three. Although killing Aro alone would be the best bet, seeing as how Marcus had no desire to be in power after his lost love, and Caius had no power.

The way to end the Volturi would be to kill Aro, and be done with it. And finish all the ones loyal to him, which was the hard part, seeing as how almost everyone was in that coven. Dear God, please let my sister be okay.

What was I suppose to do with this new found info? What was I suppose to think? Let it be done and pretend everything at home was normal? How was that possible when I had all these questions in my head, questions that were pretty damn important in my opinion. Like for starters?

Who was in charge of this blasphemy? Who was on their side? Are they sure they were kept in secret? Who was going to be in rein when this was all said and done? Because honestly, someone needed to. The vampire world needed their own government. That was the only good thing about the Volturi, it set rules so that we all don't go crazy. The world would be mad with vampires and bloodshed if there wasn't someone in the shadows keep order.

But the most important question that lay in my head upon the millions of others?

What was Nez and I to do? Was I suppose to tell her what was happening in Italy? Did it really have anything to do with us? Was it because of us? I really didn't know anything.

I didn't want to bash in on my loyal families' plans of attack and ruin things for them when they might actually stand a chance, if they stand together, but still. There was that possibly.

I was definitely going to tell Nez, but what would her response be? Was she telling me I was fighting the right battle today? I guess she was right, and I really wasn't. I was suppose to be worrying about her family, not mine. But how could I not when I felt so in the dark on things over there? And why was Felix so reluctant to tell me anything? It wasn't like him to keep secrets.

Thinking all this, I realized I had wasted most of the night worrying about something that was not in my control. I came to the conclusion that I couldn't worry about this, that much. I even convinced myself that Felix was right. I wasn't apart of it and the battle -if it was actually happening- had nothing to do with me. Jane would be fine; my sister had to be. She was strong and was well taken care of. Felix might not of liked her all that much but he knew what she meant to me. He knew I'd kill him on sight if I ever found out she was dead.

_Oh lord in heaven, please be okay, sister._

I hadn't realized how long I'd been sitting in here thinking about all of this. I saw the sun had come up, and after finally coming at ease with this whole thing in my head, I finally went back to Nez, expecting her to be asleep still. I was shocked to find I was wrong completely.

She was topless, and her hands were in her dresser. Her bare back was facing me, with a shy smile plastered on her red colored lips as she peeked over her shoulder at me. I leaned back against the door and enjoyed the view before me. She was so beautiful with the sun peeking through the curtains, making her skin glow.

"Where did you go? I woke up and you were gone." She complained, finally picking out a faded tee shirt, pulling it over her head.

"Felix called me."

"Oh yeah? What about?"

I bit my bottom lip to hold my tongue. If I told her, she would freak, I realized. She would absolutely flip. Somehow though, that didn't seem to matter so much as telling her the truth. It wasn't our fight. We may have been the stepping stone in the direction of the battle but we are not the war itself. I had to believe that, and make her believe that as well. It had nothing to do with us, and everything to do with a coven full of power hunger monsters. It was bound to happen anyway right?

Our battle was Edward and Bella. Our fight has yet to come. She had know that; she'd understand.

"Alec, what's wrong?" She asked, concerned as she walked up to me. She looked so darn cute when she was confused.

I had to tell her; she had to know.

"It's nothing to do with us per say, it's just Felix hinted at a possibility."

"A possibility…of?"

I looked down at my feet, avoiding eye contact.

"A attack on Aro. He hinted at it but disconnected before I could ask him anything." I answered honestly.

Nez's eyes widened in shock.

"An attack? When, how, isn't that like impossible?" Nez said, her voice turning frantic as she ran her fingers through her hair roughly.

I pulled her to my bare chest, listening to her heart pounded rapidly in hers, she was nervous, I knew that, but I wondered if it was because of the same reasons I was. I mean, I knew she didn't think kindly of my sister as I had, but still, she had Felix to be scared for. She cared about his well being, I knew that much.

"You promise it has nothing to do with us? I don't want anything to happen to Felix or for your sake, Jane, because of us. I don't want anyone hurt because of us…"

"Nez, this battle if that's what it is, would of happened anyway. "I explained. "You're talking hundreds if not thousands of years with vampires around the world wanting them to end. It's not just us. What happened to one day at a time?"

"Well, that was when it was us personally, fighting my parents, but this is-""But nothing. I was ordered to stay away from the Volterra, in risk of spoiling the plans and as much as I am concerned for my sister, I have to agree. We'll know something when we do. Right now, we have to figure out our future and where it lies." I said, smoothly, as I kissed her forehead and rested mine against hers. Nez closed her eyes.

"Isn't it together? We're not going into hiding, are we?"

I laughed at her innocence.

"Always, Perla. But we have to think about what you want to do. I….I saw your dreams."

"My dreams- you were peeking into my dreams?"

"I was bored!" I defended.

"Fine, what did you see? And don't lie; I'll be able to tell." She said with a pout.

I pulled away from her and sat on her bed, with her standing in front of me, her hands in mine as I looked in her beautiful brown eyes. Her hair was a complete mess from when she was sleeping, random strands sticking in different directions.

"La risata tanto quanto lei respira, ed ama finché lei può vivere." I repeated, and kissed Nez's hands. She looked down with the same confused expression on her face that she had in the dream.

"I still don't know what that meant. I don't know why I dreamt something I couldn't understand."

"It means, la mia perla: 'Laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long you can live.'" I told her. "I guess Jane in some weird way was giving us approval in your dream."

Nez busted out laughing instantly, tears welling to her eyes. I had thought it was because she was laughing so hard, but then she surprised me by throwing herself on top of me, kissing me feverishly. I complied to the sudden passion by kissing her just as much, my hands tugging at her hair when I felt her tongue slide into my mouth. My body awoke with need; she tasted so sweet. Her body was warm and welcoming. My hands starting to roam under her shirt, exploring her as if it were the first time.

Nez moaned into my mouth when they found her breasts, which were more than hard at the touch of my fingers once they dug underneath of bra.

_Oh my-_

I was about to say with hell with waiting and indulge in each other like we should of last night, when suddenly I heard something.

I froze instantly, while Nez was fiddling with my zipper. Once she felt me stop though, she pulled away and looked at my face.

She knew something was wrong, and bit her lip nervously.

"I'm sorry, you acted like you wanted to-""Nez…"

"And you can't honestly say you don't want to, because I felt your-""Renesmee!" I snapped as she tried to silence me with her kissing, ripping her top off completely.

I was trying so hard to get her to understand the urgency of the situation when suddenly I felt her hand find its way into my pants, and wrap around me, stroking the hardness eagerly.

"Shit! Nez, we have to…" I was losing all track of what I was going to say and throwing my head back against her bed. A part of me wanted her to continue because it's been so long since she touched me like this but the other part of me knew we couldn't.

We were being watched or listened in on by a unwanted guest and she had to stop or else they will walk in on a very embarrassing scene.

After a couple of more agonizingly pleasurable strokes, I forced myself from under her, and zipped up my pants, trying to gain control.

They were sitting at the couch. I could hear his foot tapping impatiently against the wooded floor, and her sigh stressfully. I began to wonder how come I was the only one who noticed, when Nez's eyes grew huge.

"No way..." She said, her nose inhaling the scent.

I bit on the inside of my cheek and nodded, not knowing if I should go in there with her, or should I wait. I'm pretty sure the best way to go about this kind of thing is with guns blaring and running as far as I could. But I wasn't. This was it after all. This was what we were waiting for forever.

This was our moment to prove to everyone around that we were in love and we were going to be together, no matter what. I just couldn't help but worry about the outcome and what Edward and Bella living room had to say. I knew it was going to get ugly as soon as we showed our face, especially when they decided now would be the best time to make a appearance.

"Go on Nez…lets go fight." I said, trying to joke, as I handed Nez her shirt and prayed one of them would listen tO us, because now?

Now the war began.

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**Writer's Note: Hey everybody, long timae no see? um Thanks for the patience of this chapter. I'm so sorry you guys had to wait, as I stated on our Blog, we've both been through a very VERY emotional time and couldn't write due to the complications. However as you can see we're getting better, and and working on TES again. it feels wonderful to be able to write. Hopefully the next chapter wont take so long. lol.**

**Love you.**

**~IITM**

**PS- we do not own the Twilight Saga, but we do own The Emotionless Shadow. Do not Steal it for your own. AT ANY TIME. We will kick you lol. again we do not wish for it to be translated in any language. please respect our wishes. no matter the reason for it. we want it to stay here on . in English. :) **


	29. Chapter 29: Take My Confession

**Please read writer's note at the end! Thank you! **

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**Chapter 29: Take My Confession**

**Renesmee's POV**

I've had quite a few embarrassing moments the last couple of months. Alec and I have been caught by numerous people in a moment of passion…Aro, Demetri, Felix, Jane, Roberto, Duckie…That being said, I don't think there was ever a time that I felt so…dirty.

By dirty, I mean I feel wrong on so many levels it should be illegal. My parents, bless them, picked the most perfect, most scrumptious moment to pop back home. I don't think, however, that they quite expected the surprise of hearing me maul Alec's mouth. I really, really hope they don't know about how I had my hand shoved down his pants and was starting to jack him off…yeah, that would be…_wrong._

But that wasn't even the worst of it. Oh no. The fact is, they're back. I knew they'd be coming back, it was unavoidable, I just didn't know it was going to be this soon. I hadn't fully prepared myself for them, not yet. It was stupid of me not to, actually. But being stupid was something I exceeded in.

Dad was tapping his foot outside, the sound was unnerving me like nothing else in this world. I swear, the sound of his foot was more terrifying than Aro's laughter…I didn't think anything was more scary than Aro's laugh. Nope, Dad took the cake.

Standing there inside my room with Alec, I felt beads of sweat start to form on my forehead, and I felt my heart rate increase. My parents and Alec were in the same house, this really couldn't end well.

No. Stop thinking that way. I always knew this day had to come…actually, that's a lie. I thought that I was going to push Alec out of my life permanently. But ever since yesterday, I knew this day would come. And here it is…one day later. Love it when things just move right along. Life just hands gift to you sometimes, right when you least expect it.

I looked at Alec, wondering what he was thinking about all of this. Did he want to run? No, Alec was more mature than that. I knew he wanted to go in there and face them like a man or something. Me? I would have been all for jumping out the window and going to Morocco or something. But by the look on Alec's face, I doubt he would have let me got far…either him or my parents would make sure of that.

I inhaled deeply, summoning up courage deep, deep within. I knew there had to be some in me somewhere. I wasn't a coward. I just needed a little shove in the right direction.

"Go on, Nez…let's go fight."

I think he was trying to be funny, but I didn't laugh.

"I think I'm going to be sick…" I said, suddenly feeling an uneasy feeling in my stomach. A large lump formed in my throat.

Alec took me back the arms, staring my straight in the eyes. I looked back into his, and his crimson iris' began to comfort me, and reminded me of why I had to do this. I had to be strong for him, I had to prove that what he did for me…well, I could give a little back. I had to face my parents for us, for any chance of a future together.

Without even saying a word, Alec smiled softly, noticing the change in my posture. He read me like a book, I swear.

"That's my woman…" He whispered, brushing his lips against mine briefly.

I took his hand, gripping it tightly for support. His cold skin cooled down my sweating palm.

"Okay. I'm ready."

He nodded, and hand in hand, we opened my bedroom door and made our way out to my parents in the living room.

If my dad's posture was any more stiff, he would have been a statue in a cemetery or something. He sat, rigid, on the couch. His back was straight as a board, his hands in fists at his knees, his eyes blazing with rage beyond measure. I don't think I had ever seen him so crazed before. It was very scary, actually. At first glance, he could have been someone else.

At his side, Mom looked a bit more at ease. I mean, she wasn't happy or anything, but she didn't look like a mass murderer like Dad did. I swear, he looked like he was going to snap any second. He probably would.

The tension in the room was overwhelming. No one had said anything yet, and that spoke enough volumes in itself. Well, it was quiet for everyone except for my father. All of our thoughts swarmed through him like little gnats.

I had to say something. I had to cut through this agonizing silence.

"So…perhaps we should have a talk." I blurted abruptly. Brilliant. No crap, we needed to talk. Can it be more obvious that we needed to talk? I mean here I am standing with my ex-Volturi boyfriend, moments after trying to get a hold of his friendly snake, talking to my parents whom heard every moment. Can life be anymore unfair then this?

Looking at my father more closely, I found myself more confused as to what to say to him to make him at easy. How does one make a father understand without making him out to be the villain? Which he wasn't. I just wish he knew how I felt about all this without having me say, and then be okay with everything, you know, I wanted everything to be rainbows and unicorns. Possibly ice cream being present.

Hm, chocolate mote sounded really good about now, especially with Alec being here and-

I really, REALLY need to stop thinking these things with my Dad around.

I could practically see a vain pop in his neck he was so tense.

"Perhaps," my mother began in a smooth voice. I gave her a small smile, thankful that I had her to keep Dad from freaking out. Not that I expected her to not freak out herself, it's just Mom is more understanding sometimes then Dad. Plus, she didn't look like an axe-murderer. So that was a plus. "We should sit and talk.."

"Dad, I just want you to understand-""Understand?" He snapped, finally stepping up from the couch, breathing hard. He had a silly sarcastic grin on his face that was completely fake, and made me annoyed.

"Did you hear that Bella? Renesmee wants us-" He motioned to my mom and him, with his hands angry. "-to UNDERSTAND."

"Yes! I do! We both do!" I said, just as loudly, gripping on to Alec's hand tighter, my temper growing by the second.

Seeing as how I could tell my father wasn't in the mood for understanding anything. He decided today, he would be a jackass it appears. Prefect. Well today was not going to be one of those days, I wont let it. He will understand. He had to, because my happiness depended on it!

"Don't think I've not considered your happiness, Renesmee!" My father said, sternly. I rolled my eyes and stepped away from Alec and looked at my father head on.

"If you did, if you truly did, you wouldn't act like this. You would be okay with whom I choose!"

"He is a Volturi member-"

"EX VOLTURI MEMBER!"

"It doesn't matter, He is making your life a risk now!"

"Ha! You should talk!" I screamed loudly, making my dad stoned into silence.

I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to throw this in his face, but he left me with no choice. He had to get past his prejudice ways to see there is light around the shadows. There is good in with the that, that the Volturi couldn't possible be all monstrous as he taught me.

Because they were humans once, just like him. They were humans. And if he taught me anything in this world, is that love is real. You can find it in the less-likely of places and it doesn't matter who or what you love, it will all work out in the end. He taught me that. Not Mom, not Aunt Rose, he did. And stand here and hear differently, after years of hearing it, just because who I love was a Volturi Member? I wont let it happen. I can't. Because if I gave up now? And let Alec slip away just because of my parents? Then I didn't love him as much as I lead on, which isn't true.

I had to force my father to see past his own thoughts about the situation, and to actually read mine. To see my love for Alec.

Because I know he knows. He knows I love Alec, and Alec loves me. He just wont get past the cloud surrounding his own thoughts. I know that and he knows that. I know he does.

The look on his face was hard to look at though. Even though I meant what I said and don't take it back, it's hard to witness the hurt on a parents face.

"Lets just sit down." I heard my mother say, as she walked over to us. Calming my Dad just by merely standing there. I smiled knowing that now, I fully understood what it meant to be in love. I could also hear my dad hissing lowly at where my thoughts were taking me, I guess.

"Renesmee, Alec. It's okay, we will listen now."

"Bella…""We will LISTEN. And not put judgment, Edward. We owe that much. It's us not listening that had us losing her in the beginning. I don't want to make the same mistake twice." She said, grabbing my dad's hands in hers and looking at both Alec and I as we stood in front of them, like teachers to students. I suddenly felt very nervous now. Unsure of myself.

What if I say something wrong and not make my point across? What if we all end up fighting again? I didn't want that. I wanted everyone happy, my family, myself and Alec. They were the most important people in my life now. So I had to get this right. I had to be focused on what I want.

I suddenly felt Alec's hand on my shoulder, I looked over my shoulder, my eyes meeting with pure rubies. He smiled knowingly, and nodded as if to encourage me. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, counting back from ten.

I opened my eyes to see my parents attention fully on me for once, not as a daughter or a loved one, but as equals. At least that's what it felt like. It was the strangest thing, having them listen to me. It was like a weight was off my shoulders for once, like I wasn't just Renesmee Cullen anymore. I could be anyone I wanted, all I had to do was say it.

My heart was beating really fast, and the more I thought about it the more mute I became.

"Just say what you want, Renesmee…." Alec whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my warm skin. I inhaled and let out a short giggle. "Tell them everything you want. Finally, let them know…"

I felt like I was going to cry hearing Alec's words. In fact, my eyes started watering up, becoming overwhelmed with so much emotions, emotions I didn't know even know I had built up in me. It felt like a waterfall breaking through. I had to be strong. I had to say the words. The words I've been dying to say to them since before this all began. I had to be strong and not break out. I had to find myself, to one I grown to know since meeting Alec. My arms grew shaky as seconds passed, and my mother's face looked at me with concern.

"I hate living here." I said in a low voice, "I hate it so much."

My father's eyes widened, as did my mothers, and as I replayed the words back to myself, I found myself wanting to scream

_What the hell did I just say?_

I don't know why I said that. I don't know why I felt relief after saying it, either. All I knew was I couldn't stop anymore. I couldn't keep my mouth from moving.

"I hate being Imprinted on. I hate that everyone around me knows what I want in life except me. And the one time I find something I want, someone, your all wanting to take it from me. All because of details. Details that don't matter to me. Because I love him. I do Dad, I love him so much. For years I've wondered what was missing, and why couldn't I be happy, and what I've done to make you leave me. Because you both did. You left me. For Jacob! You thought He could heal me like he did Mom-""Renesmee-"

"No!" I screamed. "You come in here and you tell me that I can't be with the one I want, the one who makes me happy, because it doesn't make you happy. Because all that matters is you. I'm the one who should be pissed. I'm the one who should be screaming at you. You disappeared because I was too much to handle. And now, out of all the times to show up here and play parents, you choose now. Right when things made sense for me? How dare you…" I said, my voice growing higher and then lower.

I needed to get out. I needed to breathe, and to think and to get away. I needed to get away from these people who've taken over my parents' body because they were the parents I thought they were. They were impostors. Because the parents I knew, the ones from the photos, and my memories, they wouldn't act like this. They wouldn't of forced me on to Jacob like this.

Jacob, who was probably the one who made them come back in the first place. It wasn't because of me. None of it was because of me. I realized that now. I realized all my life, I've been living by someone's set rules, making sure they're happy when what I should have been doing is making me happy. Why didn't I? Why didn't I do what I wanted or experience something outside the box, something real?

Before I let anyone else say anything, I ran out the front door. Holding on to the tears that screamed at me to fall. I ran so far, I didn't even know where I was running too. It was like the farthest I could get too, the better. I had to get away from these controlling people, but when I started running, I heard someone calling my name. it surprised me a little that it wasn't my parents or Alec for that matter. But Jacob. Apparently he was ease dropping from the front door. Dickhead.

I turned around and stormed right to him, shoving him in the chest.

"You called them, didn't you!" I yelled. Jacob gripped my hands and held me still, glaring at me.

"I had to, you should of told me he was here! I asked you point blank, if you had something to tell me, you looked me in the eyes and lied, Nessie. You lied!"

I stood silent there for a second. Not knowing what to do, only standing there like a moron, pissed off that he was here and not Alec.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Have you told Billy yet? Or Sue about your liter?"

"Don't make this about me.""It's always been about you Jake. You call me a liar, but you're the one not telling your families about you two. You invite me to a dinner that never happened. You say you love her, but you don't tell her! You-"

"I'm waiting on you!" He said trying calm me down, only to start the fire that I apparently wanted out on everyone.

"Waiting?" I asked, looking at him confused.

"Yes. Making sure that we're in the clear, that there's not a possibility of you setting feelings for me. And I did call your parents Nessie, okay? He shouldn't of been here, and you shouldn't of let him-"

"What I do Jacob, is my business. And waiting? I call bullshit. Your just saying this because your to scared of being committed to Leah, Hypercritics! All of you."

"Oh that's nice. Thanks a lot."

"Why else would you wait huh? It's not because your in love with me, and if you say you are, so help me Jacob, I will throw up."

"It's how it works, Nessie! I imprint on you-no, you know. Don't make me explain this and change the subject. You were in the wrong here."

"Me?"

"Yes, bringing that monster here. That blood-sucker into your family's house. And lie to me? I thought I at least meant something to you. Enough for honesty. Now, I'm not so sure. Your not the girl I knew. The one who put her family first.""Yeah." I said, laughing bitterly. "The problem is my family didn't want to put me first. Ever. Not even you Jacob. Your all stuck in this suck fest, that your not realizing that your loosing me Jake. Your loosing me!"

Before I could say another word, Jake was gone. Phased and ran like a coward. I'd be lying if I didn't say this didn't hurt me. That he wasn't even willing to listen, like my parents. At least they sat and hear me scream before I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt so lost now. Not knowing where to turn or what to say anymore. I couldn't chase after him now. Not when what I said was the truth, and I still felt like he stabbed me in the back by calling my parents and unrightfully judging me.

A part of me though, wanted to go get Alec and drag his ass to wherever he wanted. To just run. But deep down, I knew I wouldn't. because we agreed we wouldn't run that far. However, I never said I wouldn't step out of the house. So I kept my promise.

The sad part is, a part of me didn't care if I ran anymore. I had the urge too. I had the need to get away from here like I did the first time. The only thing stopping me was that Alec wouldn't of gone. And if he didn't go, I didn't go either.

Looking back towards my house, I could see my father standing at the door. I wiped the tears with my wrist and folded my arms. Glaring.

_I want to be alone. _

With in seconds, he was in my face, holding me from running. I tried to pull away from his embrace, but nothing budged him away. He held still and firm. I suddenly felt very breakable and young. Like I got a cut on my leg or something and I wanted to be held. Only I didn't want too. I didn't want him near me. I kept telling myself that too. Yelling at myself to run but I got nothing. It's like deep down I knew it wasn't true. I needed my Dad. I needed my whole family, even when I didn't want them. I needed them then more though. And they weren't there when I needed them too be.

Oh how I needed them.

I think my Dad, despite his reading mind ability, knew how I felt. He knew, because he just kept holding me tighter and tighter, till I couldn't breathe anymore. I was unable to move also.

After a few moments of trying to fight me away, I just caved in. giving into the need of being held by my Dad. My eyes bawling, and my hands hugging him so tight I was basically ripping his shirt and making it soaked with tears.

"You know, I love you right?" He said, his voice sounding weak. "Because I do, I always have, since the day I first heard your thoughts, I've loved you."

Way to make me cry even more, Dad.

Hearing his voice so weak made my heart ache. Breaking any plug I had on the tears. I was now a water fountain.

"Yes. But I'm still so mad at you. Mad at everyone, Jacob, Mom, you. You all don't trust my judgment, on anything."

"That's not true, I just worry for you. And leaving that….that was a mistake. But parents make mistakes Renesmee."

"But I can't? I can't make choices or make mistakes, is that is?"

My Dad chuckled likely as he looked down on the floor.

"You remind me of your mother, when she was this age. Always so certain of what you want." He said, wiping the tears off my face. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm like you too. In a lot of ways Dad, always wanting to run when everything gets bad. In fact, I wanted to run now, but Alec's in the house." I said, looking away from him. Shrugging. My Dad smiled and pulled me back into a hug.

"That is a trait, I didn't want to pass. Believe me." He said, pulling away again and looking back the house. I follow his gaze to where he was looking, only finding Alec leaning against the front door. I smiled and I swear from her I could see his boyish smirk plastered on his lovely face.

"He does love you." My father said, breaking my thoughts completely.

"What?"

"He loves you. I know that now, it's just hard you know. Letting your child make their own decisions and growing up. Especially when you can read their thoughts, and those of their loved one. You tend to ignore the emotions and go with the gut feelings. Alec stayed with your mom and me, explained his side of things." My Dad was laughing as if there was some joke, I wasn't in on.

"I need you to be okay with this Dad. I need to tell you what I want and for you to know everything."

"Renesmee.""Shh….I want to be with Alec. I want to be able make that choice. You, Alice, Emmett, Esme, you all were able to make that choice, based on what you wanted. I want the same. And so okay, my choice isn't perfect. He isn't a meadow with a cabin, or isn't perfect by any means, I mean if you piss him off royally, and I mean royally, I'm telling you thinks of the most torturous punishments, you should of seen his-"

"Get to the point."

"Oh sorry." I laughed lightly, but my father's face remained consist. Completely serious in all his glory. "He has flaws. I'm not going to lie to you. Their big flaws. But that's why I love him. Because his flaws are what make him, him. I'm not perfect Dad, you know that. But he makes me who I want to be. He makes me happy Daddy, so Happy, that if you don't let me be with him, I will fight you till you see. See that I'm your daughter. Not a slave. Don't make me get down on my hands and knee's here, okay? Because I will." I started to actually get down on the ground, but my Dad said that would be to much. He tried to hold in the laughter, but I knew him better then that. He thought it was hilarious.

I smiled, encouraging him to return one. A sparkle of pride, or hope glinted beneath his eyes. I realized this couldn't have been easy for him, as a father. He saw me at my worst in Volterra, saw me at the breaking point, at my lowest. He never saw how happy I truly was with Alec, how alive I felt.

Because he was my dad, sometimes I forgot how young he really did look. He looked seventeen years old, like he had the whole world ahead of him. Looking at him as my dad, I saw something different, a man who worried for his daughter. I hope I wasn't bringing out the inner old, wrinkly man inside him.

"Watch it." He said jokingly, hearing my train of thoughts, finally cracking one of his million dollar grins. I laughed, leaning into him again. He kissed the top of my head, patting my hair softly as he always did. It made me feel so young yet safe.

_I love you too, Dad. _"That'll never change."

Our conversation was cut short by my mom walking towards us. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Renesmee… I'm so sorry for how we've acted." She shook her head in guilt. She looked so desperate and helpless that I couldn't help it. I latched onto her, and she held me just as tightly as Dad, perhaps even a little more. She kept whispering how much she loved me, how sorry she was, and how she would never ignore me again.

"You're so beautiful…so strong and brave. I couldn't ask for a more perfect daughter…I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant that you were the most important aspect of my life."

"What about me? Wasn't I important?" Dad interjected teasingly, smiling coolly at her.

She returned his gaze, and I swear I saw her melt inside. I didn't even think they knew I was standing there anymore. Oh, jeez. Not a sappy parents moment.

"_You _were too busy going crazy…throwing clothes around, yelling at people in Portuguese."

"Yes, well, I wasn't the one who declared that Renesmee would be Edward Jacob Cullen Jr, a fine specimen, taking after his father's looks."

I rolled my eyes, and quietly slipped out of their way as they continued to banter playfully. It'd been a while since I saw them being playful with each other; I think I had myself to blame for that.

I set my eyes back on the porch; Alec remained against the door, leaning back at ease. It was like he'd lived here all his life or something, with the way he stood there, looking at me with a smile on his face. A part of me wanted to pinch myself, just to make sure this was real. I mean, it couldn't be this easy, could it? My parents couldn't just accept it, just like that. I was going to get the story from Alec, knowing he would set me straight. But the look on his face, so content and happy…it made me wonder.

Were we really accepted? Was the fight over? It wasn't much of one, and wasn't at all as hard as I had thought. I had expected Dad and Alec to start fighting, violence at its best. Thank god it didn't come to that, but my point is, I think I'd been worrying all this time for nothing…

"Edward Jacob Cullen Jr…" Alec said under his breath, once I reached the house. His brows tensed with what I suspected as distaste. He curled his lip, confirming it. Normally, I would have laughed and said something to tease him, but I was too overwhelmed.

"What did you say to them? It's like nothing even happened…I don't understand."

He smiled again, as if to say he wasn't going to tell me what went on inside the house while I was fighting with Jacob. That wasn't going to sit well with me.

"I didn't have to say much, believe it or not." He replied casually, sliding his arm around my waist, watching my parents who were still arguing. I tired not to laugh, watching Dad pinch the bridge of his nose like he always did when frustrated.

"What did you say then?" I pressed, looking back at Alec. He pursed his lips cockily, his eyes lingering on me now. It was easy to ignore the butterflies that he caused to flutter in my stomach because I was becoming more impatient by the second. He chuckled.

"I only reminded them of a love sick couple that I encountered a few years ago, two people so besotted that they were willing to give up their lives for the other." He said this in an amused tone, his eyes light. "I asked them to remember how it felt, not being supported by the people around you…but you still wouldn't stop fighting because it was worth it…I'm not saying I have their blessing, just yet, but I got them to think."

I held his hand that rested on my hip and leaned into his side, smiling like a fool. Despite the fact that Jacob was furious with me, and despite the fact that we still had the rest of my family to sift through, I felt really happy. My parents were going to give us a chance, and that was all I needed. I knew if they started to see who Alec really was, they would come around. They had to.

I felt like I was on top of the world, just standing here with Alec, not worrying about anything. I took in the moment, recording everything about it; the scent of Alec's clothes, the sky painted grey, the moisture in the air, the trees around us swaying softly through the damp breeze, my parents voices intermingling, the way Alec looked so at peace, our fingers interlocking…

_I love you._

He smiled, turning to rest his forehead against mind, our noses touching.

"That's good…because you're stuck with me now."

"You're ruining this romantic moment for me." I frowned, to which he laughed.

He took my chin between his thumb and index finger, summoning my mouth to his. For a moment I wondered about what my parents would think, and then I just didn't care. I smiled, leaning in until our lips brushed each other in a chaste kiss.

"This feels weird," I stated once we'd pulled away.

"What, kissing? I hope I haven't lost my touch…"

"No, not kissing. This…this feeling like we have nothing to worry about…it's strange. I'm so used to feeling like I'm at the edge of the world and now…"

Alec nodded. "I know…but don't worry, I'll keep you on your toes."

There was an edge to his voice that sent shivers down my spine, sending heat waves throughout my body. I was suddenly picturing things in my head that I shouldn't have. I swear, he could take any statement, innocent as could be and turn it sensual with a snap to his fingers. Or maybe it wasn't him. Maybe I was just a pervert. Maybe-

"_Maybe_," I heard Dad call from the yard, sounding annoyed. "We could all keep our thoughts PG." He cast a warning look towards Alec, who smiled boyishly.

"Sorry, Edward…"

We all sat at the large dining room table back at Carlisle's. Alec sat on the left of me, holding my hand underneath the table, away from the several pairs of topaz eyes that stared at us. It would have been completely silent, were it not for Duckie's gum, which she chewed quite obnoxiously. I fought back the urge to start laughing, because the situation was so tense that there wasn't much else to do.

Jasper, poor Jasper, looked ill from all the different emotions swarming throughout the room. Beside him, Alice sat like a statue, trying to form her own opinion of everything. Carlisle was calm, but I could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to make sense of it all. He had his eyes on Alec, and Alec in return gazed at him. It was as if they were having their own private conversation. I didn't know what the hell that was all about.

A loud, impatient sigh broke the silence, and I knew before looking who it belonged to.

"Am I the only one who has any respect for this family? Why are we just sitting here, allowing him to rest comfortably in our presence? Must I remind everyone of who he is?" Rosalie's voice was sharp, but not quite as sharp as her eyes that sliced towards Alec with hatred. I hissed silently, my grip on Alec's hand tightening protectively.

"We're all aware of the situation, Rosalie, and of Alec's past." Carlisle said patiently, looking from Alec to Rose, who was fuming. "And if Bella and Edward feel no threat-"

"Yes, because their judgment has always been the wisest, hasn't it?" Rose snapped sarcastically, her topaz eyes could have almost looked red in the lighting, she was so furious.

"Rose," Emmett said warningly, his voice annoyed. "I'm not anymore thrilled about this than you are, but-"

"No buts! I have stood by this family through it's worst, and I've witnessed some stupid choices that have been made-" her eyes shot at my dad. "-but never, have any of you been so stupid before. I hope the point of this wasn't for any form of blessing, because you will not be getting it from me."

"We weren't looking for your blessing, Aunt Rose, we were just informing you of the obvious." I interjected, my voice just as harsh as hers.

"What is obvious is that your puppy love is going to not only threaten you but us as well. Do we mean so little to you?"

I glanced at my parents, hoping one of them would intervene, but Dad was looking at me coolly, as if to say, 'This is your fight, not mine.'

_Thanks a lot._

"And will someone please explain _why_ she is even here?" Rosalie pointed to Duckie, who smiled when knowing all eyes were on her. "Since when does any of this concern her? Since when does she know about us? I guess you let that one out of the bag also? Just like your father, I swear."

"Let's leave the past out of this, shall we, Rosalie?" Dad said, getting upset.

"Duckie overheard me talking about it; I didn't tell her. And she's here because I want her to be. She's been there for me when none of you were…no offence."

I felt bad saying it, but it was the truth. Duckie hadn't left me like they did. She stuck around even when I was at my worst. I know how annoying I was, and yet there she was. I owed her. She was a real friend.

"That still doesn't make up for it. What if she tells someone-"

"Right, because once I go screaming about vampires, everyone is going to instantly believe me and not throw me into a psycho hospital." Duckie said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. I saw Alec smile at the corner of my eye.

"Yeah, Rosie…think logically." Alec said suavely, smirking softly.

"Oh, as if you haven't already informed them back home about the human girl knowing about-"

"This isn't about Duckie, this is about Renesmee and Alec." Alice spoke for the first time, glaring at Rose. "And I for one, no offence," she began, glancing at my parents. "-don't really care about Edward and Bella's opinion on the matter. What matters here is what Renesmee feels…I'm not saying I trust Alec, but I'm trusting Renesmee."

I never appreciated my aunt Alice as much as I did now. I was tempted to get up and hug her.

"As am I," Esme said softly, a warm smile gracing her sweet face. "Renesmee has always known what she wanted from the day she was born, and she has excellent instincts…so for what it's worth, Alec, my arms are open to you. I know our history isn't pleasant, but I don't like to focus on the bad. And watching you two, I can see that you care for her."

Again, my heart swelled. I knew there was going to be group hug in the future. I think I even started to tear up a bit, hearing her kind words. Alec, beside me, was stunned.

"That means a lot to me, Esme…thank you." He said sincerely, smiling. She nodded in return, smiling back.,

_Damn it, don't cry, Renesmee._

"If I might say something." My Dad spoke, standing in front of everyone. I gave him a puzzling expression, trying to read his face. I didn't know if I liked what I saw on it. A mixture of 'I love you but.." and "I want to kill your boyfriend." none of which was good from my point of view and it made me tighten my grip on Alec's hand, to which made him smile at me.

My father was a man of many words. Had a lot of influence over our family and if he said Alec was out, that was it. Rose will win, and Emmett will agree. Which basically half our family, and though I knew my Dad said earlier that he would give us a chance, I found myself doubting him. Scared for what he had to say.

"Let make it clear, that I am not picking sides. I don't agree or disagree, though something's I find myself understanding from both parties. " He said, looking at all of us. I bit my lip, getting anxious. My father's eyes suddenly landing on me.

"I said I would give Alec a chance Renesmee. And I mean that. But I do have concerns. For not only your safety but our whole family's. Alec will not harm. I know that, more then anyone in this room. However, he comes from a coven that don't think very highly of us, and are waiting for this kind of thing to happen. Therefore, if anything does.." He shifted his eyes to Alec. Looking completely serious and almost, dare I say deadly?

"I will not waste time on ending this. I know that might upset you. But It's how I feel. I don't like having to think that my only child is in danger at all. But it's what she wants. I just need more time to except this."

I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't even know how I felt on the matter anymore. Was I happy that they didn't kill him? Angry that they all still thought he was a danger too me? I wasn't sure. I guess I should be grateful that we were getting this much from everyone. Even Rose, considering I knew she wanted to snap his neck. I mean, yeah she was being a bit unreasonable but she's staying at her side of the room. I was thankful for that.

I guess all in all, I knew I wasn't going to get the perfect hallmark moment like I wanted in my head. Real life wasn't like that. And if I was being honest, if I saw my father hug Alec or something, I might throw up. So deep down, I was happy. I had my family back, with still hurt feelings, but nothing unfixable, and I had Alec. The cherry to my ice cream sundae.

After a few moment wisecracks from Rose, and some complaints from Emmett,

Carlisle chuckled, and we all stood then. I hugged Esme and Alice, just as I said, and tightly at that. Carlisle shook Alec's hand, greeting him as an old friend, not an enemy.

"I always suspected you were unhappy there, Alec. Is it safe to conclude that I was correct?"

"It was the only life I knew; I was as happy as I could have been." Alec chuckled softly. "It was sad when you left the Volturi…I had quite missed the civil company.""Yes, I missed our conversations…though, I can't say the same for your sister…I think she was happy to see me go." Carlisle said in amusement, and they both laughed.

I stared at them in confusion. Were they seriously bonding right now? They were talking about the good ole' days like two old men!

What have I done? I've unleashed something ugly, I knew it. Next thing I knew they were going to be carving wood figurines on the porch together.

Talk about weird.

Yeah, things were really different from then on. My father and I hung outside the house more. My Mom asked me all kinds of questions about the Alec no one knew. And Emmett started to even play some jokes around with Alec as if he was perfectly fine with him being here. I didn't get grounded about Duckie knowing about vampires. And even though I wish she wouldn't, she decided that if she was going to turn into a vampire, she was going to wait till at least three years. Saying she wanted to look more womanly next to Felix or something.

Speaking of, the big loon finally decided to call us with the heads up on the Volturi matter. Still leaving us in the dark about details, but over all everything looked peachy on his end. He said that his mission was complete…whatever that meant. I didn't really want to know all the gory details, not now at least.

It would have seemed that my happily ever after was just beginning, that I had gotten everything I wanted and made a triumphant ending…yet somehow, there was something missing, or rather someone. I couldn't expect Jacob to come bursting into the house, flowers in hand to congratulate me. In fact, I knew he wasn't coming here. He was very angry with me, and I'm sure even more with my family for allowing Alec into our home. Apart of me understood where he was coming from, I guess. Being brainwashed to watch over a baby for seven years must do something to you, only to find out that the baby grows up and decides to be with one of the world's most dangerous of vampires. I totally get it.

Alec wasn't blind to the fact that even though I had a smile on my face, I was still looking for that one last puzzle piece.

"I'm sorry.." he said simply, sitting next to me on the couch. I looked from the football game that Emmett had put on to him, and shrugged.

"I can't expect everything, Alec, I know that. I'm happy."

"Such lies, Nez…" he breathed, leaning back into the couch, a lazy expression on his face. "Jacob holds…significance, I suppose…"

He sounded like he was debating what he was saying. On weather or not Jacob was important at all.

I know seeing me unhappy about Jake was hard for Alec, I don't think he doubted my feeling for him. Or at least I hoped not, but he knew that Jacob was upsetting me. And that didn't make Alec all that chipper on the subject. A part of me wondered if he wish I gave up on Jake. That we'd be better off. But I can't. I know I was pissed at him before. And rightfully so, I still was. But he was family. First and foremost.

Looking at Alec, I felt a calming vibe wash over me. He had that effect on me. Instantly giving me butterflies.

I was leaning in to give him a kiss, when suddenly my Uncle Emmett came and pushed in between us. Wigging to separate us as much as he could.

I narrowed my eyes at him, to which he just chuckled. I guess he wasn't as found of Alec as I was hoping.

Was anyone actually happy for me here? Aside from maybe three people? Duckie doesn't count. She's happy all the time.

I shot Alec a look, motioning for him to come to my room with me, behind Emmett's back.

He raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Don't even think about doing the nasty while I'm down here." Uncle Emmett said, without even looking at us. I groaned, grabbed Alec's hand and pulled him upstairs. My parents were currently in our own cabin in the woods, doing god knows what, so me and Alec decided to see Carlisle and Esme. Duckie was currently still staying here, as there really wasn't any room in the cabin. So I wasn't surprised at all to see her laying on the bed. Her fingers dancing across her phone.

I wasn't surprised. However annoyed? Definitely.

"Duckie, Alec and I need this room please?"

"But I'm Stexting Felix! Can't you guys wait?" she whined, as I closed my eyes. Getting frustrated with how much privacy Alec and I have been having since he came back to me.

"It'll only be a second, Duck-Girl." Alec said, calmly.

Duckie scoffed.

"It only takes you a second to get off? Really? I thought you said he was good in bed Cookie?"

"Duckie! Get lost! Please!"

"Alright already!" she said, whispering unmentionable under her breath, glaring at me the whole time she was leaving. As soon as the door slammed shut. Alec smiled.

There was never going to be any awkward moments between Alec and I. there never was. Once we new Duckie wasn't coming back. Alec slowly went to the door and turned the lock. Smirking. My heart speed up at the look of pure lust in his eyes. My legs starting to shake as he walked over to me. Leaning his lips to mine.

"You have to be very…very quiet Perla.." Alec whispered against my lips. His breath hitting my face as started kissing me.

My breathing became labored and uneven as I tried to control myself.

Could we really do this here? With Emmett and the rest of them around the house? I don't know why but the thought kind of excited me and made me deadly afraid. Making up once insane feeling in the pit of my stomach. My heart beating against my ribs so hard that it hurt. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. His soft cold lips moved against mine passionately. As his fingers moved down my bare arms, drifting to my waist. My own fingers moving to the hair on the back of his neck.

He groaned as his hands slipped under my shirt. Greeting my navel. I smiled against his mouth, giving him a tender kiss.

"Alec…"

"Renesmee…"

"Not here." I whispered, kissing him again. He nodded and before I could explain, he had me in his arms. Making a trail of kisses down my warm neck. I bit back a moaned. It seemed like every place he touched, was a electrified.

"Shhh…" Alec said against my skin. As he placed me on the bed. Hovering over me, between my legs. His hands moving up on thigh.

"I don't mean over here either." I said in laughter. "We can't do this in this house, I mean."

Alec didn't seem to be listening to me. Because before I could say anymore, he had my pants unzipped and his palm right on my holy land.

"Oh!" I said. Alec kissed me to muffle my cries. His fingers worked their way in my underwear, and my body instantly began responding into over drive. My thighs tightened around him while the heels of my feet pushing him to be closer.

I knew we shouldn't be doing this. I knew that it was wrong on so many levels, and that I should push him off and tell him to wait. Because that's the good thing to do is to wait. We agreed we would wait, countless times. He was the master of waiting, however now? It just felt too damn good to push away. He was so close. The closest he's been in almost four month and I felt like I was in heaven. Feeling his fingers brush against me. His strong, cold, delicate fingers. The graceful things they were. I was having a hard time speaking now, much less telling to get off. I didn't want him off. I wanted him now. Okay so my uncle was downstairs and I'm pretty sure Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper were down the hall, but It's been so long since he's touched me like this.

And he was the one driving the wheel here. Now me. Kissing me like it was the first time in years. Greeting my touch like it was a old friend. I was caving completely, moving my body against his hand. My hand gripping at his shirt, pulling it into a fist.

Alec was the most assertive I've ever seen him. Pressuring me in the most passionate way. I couldn't even breathe or think. The only thing I had on my mind was his fingers. And the only thing I could hear was my heart racing.

"Say my name again.." Alec whispered. I took his lower lip between mine, tugging at it gently with my teeth. He let out a strained grunt, as if to hold himself back, as his thumb worked even harder on my clit.

Alec had a thing for me saying his name.

"Alessandro…." I breathed, struggling to get the words out. It felt too good for words. I almost fell apart right there. "Alec!" I yelped as his fingers finally made their way inside of me, my inner-walls forming eagerly around his two fingers.

"I just want to pleasure you, Nez…" Alec whispered huskily, his breathing heavy, his eyes glued to mine.

I nodded understanding. Not able to say much since he was after all trying to get me off.

But sadly after two strokes, like I expected. There was a knock at the door.

I glance at the door then back at Alec, who cursed in Italian. I push Alec's hand away and covered his mouth, hushing him. The absence of his hand down below left a bitter chill. And I didn't like it, but what was I suppose to do? Keep going at it and just let whoever it was behind the door waiting? Yeah right. There more then likely vampires. Who probably already knew what we've been up too. Which was embarrassing enough as it was. I can't believe I forgot about everyone in the house. I was getting to lost in the moment I guess?

DAMN THE NO PRIVACY!

"Yes?" I squeaked. My voice still uneven. As Alec narrowed his eyes at me and at the door. He decided it was best to continue to kiss my neck. Apparently it didn't bug him at all that the person behind the door could hear us.

"I told you two, no sex! My ears are bleeding!" Uncle Emmett's voice hollered. I covered my face, which was turning red, with my hand and sat up on the bed. Alec hissed. His head, laying on my stomach. His hair a complete mess from where I was running my fingers through it.

"Okay, Uncle Emmett!"

"I mean it! You want sex, get your own place!"

"OKAY!" Alec yelled back. My eyes widened as I slapped him on the head, making him laugh slightly.

Once I knew Emmett was gone. I sank back down in the bed, reluctantly zipping up my jeans. Alec pouted, as if he wasn't expecting that at all. You would think he'd realize that the party was over.

"But I wasn't done." He complained, sounding like a child, whose cookie was taken from him.

I gave him a look that questioned his sanity.

"What?…c'mon Nez. I'm just a bit…I was…"

"Horny?" I suggested. Alec bit back a smile and nodded slowly, his eyes closing.

"Very. You can't blame me, you are so tempting.." he said with a kiss under my ear. I smiled and shook my head.

"You know, if you had just cooperated _last night_, we could both be in very good moods right now." I argued, narrowing my eyes at him. He frowned, as if to say we had already been over this. I rolled my eyes, not getting his point at all.

I wasn't ready last night in his eyes, but today when he gets in the mood it's suddenly okay? What a hypocrite.

A sexy hypocrite at that.

"Nez-"

"I get it, Alec…whatever. It's too late now anyways because it's not as if we have any other choice…"

"Then let us find a different house. Any house for that matter. We haven't been alone…in. ever. We've never been alone Nez!" He said. His red eyes baring into me. As his voice sounded completely serious.

I nodded, understanding completely where he was coming from.

He was right. We haven't been alone. But what did he expect us to do about it? Leave my family? Just when I got them back? I mean. I get where he was coming from. I felt the same way. I'm not going to lie. But there were millions of reasons not to do what he was suggesting. For starters, where would we go? How would we care for ourselves now that he wasn't a Volturi member? Did he just expect the money to be flying our way? Did he expect us to be nomadic or something?

I've never really thought of that lifestyle for me. Personally I don't see it. I guess there could be some excitement, but over all I don't like the idea of living on the street. I don't like stealing things in order to survive. I just don't see myself wearing over peoples clothes because we're on the move. Did Alec see wanting that? Did he see us on the road? Looking like hobos? I certainly hoped not.

I also had to consider the other people in involved in this situation. My parents? Would they just let us go? I don't see it happening. But did I really think Alec and Me can just tag along for the ride with my family? I mean it's already been a week and Alec hadn't feed. So I know being here was making him a little edgy. Not to mention the death glares he's been getting from Rosalie. And the silent treatment of my father. Okay, so my father does say Hi to him. But that's as far as that bonding goes.

That still didn't mean we were ready to move on. I don't even know if I was ready to leave again. And what about Duckie? Just leave her with my family. I mean I know she couldn't stay here forever and she's been talking about going to Italy to see Felix and her family, but what's the likelihood of that happening? Especially since Felix still didn't have a clue about Duckie, knowing about vampires. I don't think.

Yeah, leaving now would be a brilliant plan it seems. What's Alec on?

"Stop." Alec said.

I looked at him and raised my eyebrow.

"Stop what?"

"Stop thinking of a million reasons not to, and just think what you want."

"I don't-"

"What do you want to do, Nez? Do you want to be here? Following your family around for an eternity? And be disturbed every time we get close? Do you want to be with Rosalie, every time she makes a snaky comment about me? Do you want Edward to read every single thought that's crossed your mind and mine? Because I do if you do. I'll put up with it if that's what you want."

"You keep saying whatever you want Nez, whatever you desire. Has no one ever asked you want you want?" I snapped back. Getting a little pressured with all the answers. Alec's eyes widened. Shock passing across his face. I bit my lip, suddenly nervous.

Realizing that I was right. No one has ever asked him what he wanted.

This whole journey has always been about me. Finding what I wanted in life. And I found it. I found it with him. In truth, it didn't matter what I wanted anymore. Because I was heard. By everyone. Everyone knew who I wanted and what I wanted. And they understood. Even Jake, who refused to talk to me knew. And that was the best gift I could ever of gotten. Now it was Alec's turn. He got his freedom. But I knew better then to think he was truly happy here. I could see it in his eyes every morning since my family got back. He wanted more. I just needed him to say what. And we can figure out everything. Together. Wasn't that the whole point?

"What do you want, Alessandro Gravina?" I said, smiling as Alec smirked. I kissed his neck lovingly. Completely content on how things were.

I swear, I could just be happy in being in Alec's arms then having sex with him.

I mean I loved the sex. Don't get me wrong. And I miss it. But this. Laying here, with Alec on top of my stomach like he was. It was just more filling. More of everything. It was all I needed.

"Hmm…" Alec said. Kissing me back. "Honestly?"

"Yeah. Consider it my third question."

Alec smiled a full blown smile. Showing all his whites. It was that rare beautiful smile that made my heart melt. The memory of our earliest chat, playing in both our heads I'm sure.

"I want Ireland." Alec said. 'I want Paris and Australia. Greece." he said, sweetly, kissing me with each country he stated. I shook my head at him. Rolling my eyes.

"And how do you figure we pay for all this, oh master Alec? Your not rich anymore."

"Pssh! Details."

"That details are rather important, don't you think?"

"I can get you anywhere you want to go." He said, with confidence.

I shuddered involuntary. I don't know why I believed him when he said this. Something about the way he was looking at me and that tone of voice. He meant business. My heart skipped a beat.

"What would we do in all these other countries?"

"Whatever we want," he replied simply with a shrug. I sighed. He made it all sound so easy. Like we could just pack up our bags and be on our way.

Although the idea of visiting all those places with him was amazing. He knew things there, history at its best, the languages, the culture…did I mention the sexy ass foreign languages? He could teach me things, like how to say, 'I want you to take me right here against this wall while I scream your name,' in Hungarian or some crap like that. I laughed aloud at the thought of asking him something so embarrassing, and he quirked an eyebrow at me, a smug smile forming at his lips.

"My Hungarian was never quite as fluent as I wished it to be, but I'm willing to look into that if those are the kinds of things you want escaping my lips.."

My jaw dropped and wondered how the hell he knew what I was thinking, and groaned. Damn it, I hated it when I let my mind wander and I didn't pay attention to when I was letting my ability work its magic. He always caught me on my most embarrassing thoughts too. Like the time I was imagining him going down on me.

I blushed at the memory, secretly wishing that would someday become a reality.

"How much did you hear?"

"Just bits and pieces….I promise." His wicked smile told me he was lying right through his pearly white teeth. I ran my fingers through his silky brown hair. So soft and smooth. His eyes closing at my touch.

I bit my lip and cupped his face in my hands. My breath catching as I stared into his rubies. The really were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Red gems. When I fights laid eyes on them, I had no idea then, that they would be the most important thing I was ever to see. But they are. They were the windows to the purest soul, I'd ever meet. My counterpart. My soul mate, as cheesey as it sounds. I wanted him happy. He put me before everyone else. I should do the same. I can say that because honestly, even if I did leave, my family will always be my family. They would be there for me. No matter what. I guess that's why Alec felt okay to leave his. No matter what, Jane would find him.

"My parents-"

"Already know. I've been talking with Edward already, this morning actually-"

"Alec! You planned this?"

"-And Duckie's going to Italy in a week, the tickets were bought days ago. So worrying about her is pointless."

"I can't believe you. Does everyone know?"

"I mentioned, that I would talk to you about it."

"I don't trust you." I said jokingly. Alec kissed me. His lips pressing to mine, and I opened my mouth to deepened it. The heat rushing throughout my body as I felt his tongue dance with mine. I felt suddenly cold when his mouth parted from mine. Disappointment washed over me.

"Yes you do. Everything is the way it should be Renesmee. All you have to do is say yes."

Replaying his words in my head, I realized one thing was wrong with his statement.

One person, I had to get this right with. The one person, I had to fix that mess. If I didn't, I would live in regret for the rest of my life.

"Hold that thought."

I didn't know if I was allowed on La Push land anymore considering my and Jacob's new status. But I knew that deep down it didn't matter. Jacob maybe pissed at me. And hurt. But he wouldn't let anything happen to me. Because no matter how much I hated it, and Leah as well. I was his Imprinted. He was to be everything I wanted. What I wanted him to be now was a listener.

Whether or not it would do any good for him to be my listener, that was yet to be seen. He was Jacob. Irrational Jake. And I knew I had to make things right. I didn't anything wrong. And if he thought I came here to apologize for Alec, he would be disappointed. But I was here to say something. Something that should have been said a long time ago.

"Nessie…" Leah said, as she answered the door. Her belly seemed to have grown over night by the looks of it. The shirt she was wearing could barely fit. Her face was also shinier then normal. I waved awkwardly, forgetting why I was here in the first place. I didn't expect her to be here if I was being truthful. I recall her wanting to leave according to Jacob. I guess she decided to stay? That's a good thing, right?

After a weird stare down, I decided now would be the best time to ask for Jake, only I didn't get a chance too. She called him anyway. Nodding me a good luck I think?

The odd thing was, this was the nicest, Leah's ever been to me.

Walking away from the door, Leah was soon replaced by a pink paint colored Jacob. The white shirt on him was completely ruined. Once he realized it was me at the door, the expression on his face changed. completely blank.

I put my hand up, before he could say anything.

"Before you speak. And tell me to get off this land, and never come back. I just want you to know something."

I waited for Jake to tell me all well and get lost. But he didn't say anything. He just stared at me. Which I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not.

"Well, here it goes…I will never love you like everyone expects me too. I don't see you in that way. I never will. I mean the thought of kissing you makes me wanna gag-sorry- I mean, I do not understand how I could be the gravity, holding you the earth, or whatever that bullshit is-""Nessie-"

"And I hate that you've waited for me to grow up to be with me. It's gross. I mean, your going to age. I'm going to be immortal now-"

"Nessie!"

"And I really, truly think that you need to tell Leah you love her. Because you may think you don't but-""I already did." he said, shutting me up. My eyes grew wide, my mouth hanging in mid-sentence.

Well I feel like a moron. I mean I was going on and go about how I felt about our situation thinking he was going to blow up at me about it when really, he had everything under control it seemed. Why didn't I notice this? And why the hell was there pink paint on him for? What? Did he and Leah decide to get kinky and thought the color pink was sexy? I mean. I guess it could work. Aerosmith made a song about it once, saying it was hot and shit. But damn, I never thought Jacob and Link were into that.

I guess Jake caught me staring at the pink on his hands, because then he spoke.

"Were painting Ava's room."

"Ava?"

"Ava and Elijah. The twins."

AW! They had names already! See, this is the shit I miss when Jacob's mad at me. You know now that I remember that he's pissed at me, I realized how calm Jake actually looked. Dare say, he looks even content with me?

"You still mad?" I asked, finally, shifting my weight my feet. Putting hands in my back pocket. Getting nervous.

"Depends. What's his face still here?" I nodded, without hesitation.

"Then yeah. Still upset." He said. Turning around to leave. I went and grabbed at his shoulder, before he turned around. Stopping him from leaving.

"I want-No, I am with him. And it's up to me to decide that Jake, not you."

"He's dangerous.""So are you."

"I never killed anyone."

"Only vampires. Which is what I am. So, really your no different. You don't have to except it Jake. You and Rose and everyone else in my house can hate me forever. But I love you guys. I love you. You're my family. And just because you disown me, that doesn't change anything. It just makes it hurt more."

Jacob turned around and looked at me. I blinked away the tears, and gave him a weak smile. My heart literally breaking in my chest at my own damn words.

"I came here to tell you, I'm leaving. Me and Alec. We're going to be traveling the world. And I just couldn't leave here without telling you that, You don't have to worry about me. I'm not your little Nessie anymore. I haven't been in a long time. Your off the hook."

When I said that, Jake looked like he was about to loose it. And not in a angry way either. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he looked downright depressed about it. It's like all these years Jacob seen me as his little Loch Ness Monster to protect. The little girl who use to bite him and see him heal himself. Or play hide in seek in the woods, while Mom and Dad hunted. I didn't realize it till now, but it was true. He never saw me as a grown woman. And although It pissed me off that he did that, it was also very tragic on his side. Which was probably why he had so many problems with Alec and me. Because He's never had to share me with anyone else but my parents all my life. And now here I am. Growing up before his eyes and he knows officially. I'm not his to protect anymore. The moment that he's waited for, the moment where I've grown up and decided what I wanted, has finally came, and he didn't realized it.

The future for him, turned out completely different then what he thought. All his life, he was told by a group up people that I would love him and care for him like my parents loved each other, and it turned out it didn't happen. It was like everything he ever believed in was a lie. Or at least he felt like it was. I would feel guilty but it wasn't my fault they told him this bullshit. Jake and I were better off with the people we got with now. Him with Leah, Alec with me. They were who we were meant for. The both challenged us and comforted us like no other could. And we both knew that now. No matter what our past did to us. They would always be the one person we would turn too.

Looking at Jacob, I felt like I was in some sort of twisted way, looking at myself. He represented everything I was before Alec. Told what to do and what to believe. And it made me want to cry. We had a bond. That much is clear and It'll never be broken. Jacob was my friend. My brother. My past. He was my family. And standing here looking into his brown eyes, I knew that even with him pissed at me, it'll never change. Even if he pushes me away. Family was family.

Turning around to leave after I realize Jake wasn't speaking to me, I almost was completely out of his yard when I heard him call my name, from the direction of the house.

"Just so we're clear. I refuse to call you Nez."

I smiled lightly and turned around to see him, his arms fold, and playful smile to his lips.

"Oh, I don't know. I kind of like it. It's more grown up than Nessie."

"Yeah, sure sure…your to be home when the kids are born. I'll be truly broken hearted if your not there."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I mean Anna and Elijah will be the luckiest people to have you and Leah as parents.""Ava…her name's Ava. And thanks. I think so too."

"Oh sorry." I said. Kind of embarrassed I couldn't even get the damn kid's name right. I mean how hard is it?

After awkward slience, Jacob broken the traced and walked over to me. Wrapping me in up a huge hug. The kind of hug only Jake could give.

"I hate him. Not because of him taking you from me and your family, but because I just do."

I nodded.

"Well, that's too bad because, I'm kind of head over heels."

"I figured. Anyway to change your mind?"

"Nope. He's stuck with me."

"More like you're stuck with him. One hair off your head, or tear falling down your face. I will murder him. Without blinking." "Jake!"

"Just saying."

"Thanks, but it wont be needed. Take care of yourself. And your family, they need you more then I do." I said, punching his shoulder playfully, tears falling down my face. Jacob rolled his eyes. "I mean, you have two kids coming, Jacob! Two! Next thing you know, They'll be a-"

"No..no. two's enough. We're not having anymore, so don't even say it." he said, before I could finish. I laughed.

"It could happen!"

"No, I'm serious, I'll accept what's his name as your boyfriend, before I have another kid."

I didn't know weather he was serious or not, but at the moment I was really rooting for Leah to pop out a third. I guess it was all part of the fantasy. Jacob accepting Alec and I. and family doing the same. Yeah, like that will happen.

"Elijah Black…Ava Black…I like it. Who do you think will be born first?"

He shrugged, a lazy expression on his face.

"Dunno. By the way Leah describes the two, they sound like they're fighting for room and dominance in there. Equal chances, I guess.

"So much has changed in these last few months. Alec and I…you and Leah…her getting pregnant…with _twins._" I shook my head, almost getting dizzy at all the new developments. "It's unbelievable."

"You can say that again," he chuckled.

"It's un-"

"Shut up, Nessie." He was laughing now, his voice filled with humor. I rolled my eyes, kicking him in the leg playfully.

"You're such a kid, Jake. How're you going to discipline your kids when you're probably going to be the one who puts the ideas in their heads in the first place?" I joked.

"I'm sure Leah will keep us all in check. She's already wearing the pants around here."

"And you're admitting this out loud? Aren't you worried about your male pride?" I questioned."

"It's Leah…" He answered simply, not ashamed of what his statement implied. He was not embarrassed about telling me that Leah was manlier than he was. I'm not saying Leah was butch or anything, but I could see where he was coming from.

Out of all the woman I'd known through the years, Leah had been one of the strongest, regardless of her feelings towards me. If the circumstances were different and I wasn't part vampire, perhaps we could have been friends. Or maybe she would have still hated me, as she hates everyone except her family…and now Jacob apparently. I asked if Billy knew yet about all of this, because honestly it'd be quite stupid of them not to 'fess up about the babies. I mean, Leah's starting to show; they'd be idiots not to notice. I mean, where has Billy and Sue been all this time? I knew I couldn't really talk about the whole keeping secrets thing, I've been there. But I didn't get knocked up either, and I'm pretty sure my family would have noticed.

Jacob remained silent, confirming my suspicions about the twins. They didn't know still. I couldn't believe it.

"Jake-"

"Don't give me a hard time about this, okay? We're planning on telling them this week."

"They haven't noticed she a little…rounder? I mean, do they even know you two…went swimming?"

Jacob rolled his eyes, understanding what I meant. Once again, he didn't say anything. I could feel my mouth forming an O. Seriously…did they not tell them anything! My parents weren't even involved and they knew! I mean, sure my dad could read minds and all that, but still, they were smart, even without the mind reading. It didn't take a genius to figure out your daughter it pregnant! And Leah is very, very pregnant. She has the motherly glow and the belly to match.

How could she hide that bulge around her mom? Mom's always knew! They had a weird psychic connection or something, and they just felt the energy or aura or whatever it is that babies give off.

That's when he told me it was none of my business, and that's when another argument struck out. I mean what the crap? He's allowed to judge my relationship and give me his two sense, but I can't offer some friendly advice to him? That really pissed me off. What was it about me that screamed, 'Tell don't her anything! It's too risky!' First with my parents setting up my wedding, then Alec and his little mission, the battle plans to which I still didn't know what happened! Then Alec didn't really tell me what all he said to my parents, and now this! To say I was taking this lightly would be a flat out lie.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Just give me a hug and tell me goodbye," he said as if he were tired, rubbing his forehead.

"No, I don't wan-"

I felt large arms enwrap around me suddenly, and my lungs felt constricted. His whole body felt like a heating pad, and that mixed with my high temperature made me feel as if I was a sauna or something. I sighed in defeat. I was getting nothing out of him expect for a hug and a goodbye speech. Well, I couldn't expect too much. And I had got was I had set out to accomplish anyways. Our relationship wasn't going to be destroyed, and that mattered more to me than his and Leah's problems with their parents. I already had my own issues with my family…why was I about to get involved in another series of dramatic events? Maybe I just enjoyed it, which was messed up but somehow very true. I realized my life would now be filled with one dramatic event after another; it was never ending.

After saying goodbye to Jacob and Leah, I walked away feeling content in how it'd all turned out. I was on good terms with everyone, even though some of them were still upset with me. Some of them hated Alec, but I didn't care. I couldn't expect everything to end up with shiny polish and where everyone is happy and fake smiles. I'd rather them dislike Alec then pretend to love him. It would hurt less.

Alec and I stayed in Forks for a few more days, getting everything prepared. And in those few days I made sure to spend a lot of much needed quality time with my family. I visited Charlie and Sue, tried to reason with Rose, convincing her that I would be fine, and I went with Duckie to the airport to wish her bon voyage. It was harder than I had expected, saying goodbye to her, not knowing what would happen once she got to Italy, not knowing how Felix would respond to her knowing about vampires. I mean, the truth had to come out sooner or later, right?

I asked Alec about what had happened with the battle, and if he thought Aro was really dead. He just shrugged and told me he hoped so. That didn't assure me at all, but I didn't say anything. But I still had worries.

The day before we left Felix called to inform us that he planned to stay in Italy, keeping as much peace among everyone as possible until there was a new boss in town. I asked about Marcus, but apparently he had fled, and no one knew where he went. I couldn't blame him for wanting to leave, as he had wanted to for centuries according to Alec. Several of the Volturi were dead, all of which I didn't really know. But I still felt sad for some reason. They were Alec's old friends, after all, right? Family, I guess. Speaking of family, Jane was still alive and kicking, and was remaining in Volterra with Felix. I prayed for Duckie; which only added onto my list of concerns for her safety. But I trusted Felix, and I knew he'd let no one touch her. I mean, who could beat Felix?

When Thursday rolled around and it was time for us to leave, I made sure to tell my parents exactly where we were going, where we were staying and for how long we planned on visiting. I was sick of secrecy; I learned my lesson the first time around. Of course, my mother cried fake tears, Dad held me for what seemed like forever, and Emmett cradled me like a baby in his strong arms, kissing me on the head. Even Rose looked sad to see me leave, and I insisted on a hug from her. Though it was a bitter hug, it was a hug nonetheless. Alice informed me that she had packed a couple of extra pieces of "personal" presents for Alec. I blushed, because somehow my mind rushed back to that lingerie from Italy, which had been stashed in my closet for months.

I decided not to bring it up, praying she didn't see it nor pack it.

Jasper gave me a tender hug, holding me like I was porcelain. Esme held me to her, practically sobbing like my mother did. Out of the whole family, Carlisle was the only one that shook Alec's hand, wishing him a good trip as well. However, Alice did hug him, her short arms clasping tightly around his shoulders. He looked stiff as a statue as she did so, awkwardly patting her on the back, and I couldn't help but laugh. He still wasn't really used to outward and physical affection, especially from Alice. But that's just who she was.

I heard her whispering something to him about packing him some new clothes as well, and I knew then she had gone overboard, but didn't say anything, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

With all the hugs and all the goodbyes out of the way, Dad drove us to the airport. As we drove down the driveway, I turned around peeking back at the house I'd grown up in. It was probably the last time I'd be here in a long time, considering how my parents were moving in a couple of weeks to Chicago. At least that's what they said. I thought about all the times I'd spent here, all the memories; the good and the bad. I realized no matter where I went, what country or state, it would all lead me back to Forks at some point or another. It might not have been my home, but it was apart of me. But so was Alec, and he took up the bigger portion, so where he went, I went.

"What are you doing…?"

"Looking up brownie recipes…I don't think it's going to work though. I don't have any cocoa." I explained, staring at the laptop screen that was sitting on the counter. It was the only light that lit the otherwise pitch black kitchen.

I was wearing one of his tee shirts, and his boxers. I'm not going to lie, I did it often. Who knew guy's underwear was so comfortable? We'd been away from Forks for only three weeks and I was already getting comfy in his underwear…well, I got cozy in them way before this. I wont get into all the details.

I felt Alec's body sneak up behind mine, his hands resting on my hips. I was really trying to concentrate on finding a simple recipe, but was finding it sort of difficult to do that when he started to nip at my neck. My eyes rolled back and I could feel my heart starting to race as he traced the lines of my neck with his tongue.

"I'm busy!" "So am I.."

"I'm hungry!""I'm ravenous."

"Alec-"

"Yes?"

"Now really isn't the-" I suddenly felt his hands creep inside my shirt, knocking the words right out of me. "_Haaah…_you need to stop doing that." I choked out, feeling his marble hands caressing my breast.

"I need a lot of things," he replied huskily, taking my earlobe in his mouth, his cold breath brushing against my skin. My body responded instantly to him, as it always did. It was like I could never fully get accustomed to him; it was always a new experience. Each time with him was different and exciting in its own way.

But despite all of this, I wasn't lying when I said I was hungry. I wanted brownies. Warm, fresh out of the oven, fudge, gooey brownies. And even though I craved Alec at this moment to the point that my body was starting to shiver, I needed some dang brownies more. Greece didn't make brownies the way I liked them.

Alec paused when my stomach made a tacky interruption, growling loudly. He sighed in frustration.

There was no winning this one, buddy.

I stepped away from the counter and started looking around the kitchen, setting a bowl out and was looking for that box of brownies. Esme sent me in my care-package. I get one like once a week from my family. Apparently, even though some of them don't talk to me, they still care enough to send me pointless crap. Like the package I had had all kinds of toys for Alec and I to play with, curiosity of Alice, I'm sure. Although, how she got those things in the box without my parents knowing, I'm not even going to ask. My parents usually sent pictures from home, videos even.

Jacob sends stuff separately, letters and ultrasound pictures of Elijah and Ava. And when Leah wasn't focusing on what Jake was doing, pictures of her. Her belly showing more and more with each letter. I was finding myself excited for them.

Ah ha!

I found them! Chocolate, non-nuts. Perfect for my taste buds. As I opened the box, and poured it into the empty bowl, I added just enough water, oil and eggs and started to mix.

The funny thing about brownies, was that even when they're not baked they smelled delicious. And as usual, like everyone else who makes brownies, I stuck my finger in the mud-like goop and licked it off my finger.

As I walked to the other side of the kitchen, to turn on the oven, I suddenly felt him behind me. His fingers moving down my side. I rolled my eyes.

"No…"

"No?" He whispered into my neck. "What are you saying no about, Perla?"

"No to..um this. Brownies first."

He chuckled darkly, and I knew if he kept this crap up, I would die. I would give in, and cave to his needs. Which surprisingly, was starting to match my own. My heart shook in my chest as it raced, my body singing at his fingertips. His scent invaded my nose as he licked down my neck again and back up.

"Am I not better than food?" He whispered, his breath brushed against my skin.

My stomach dropped and the lump in my throat rose. Alec moved his fingers in between my thighs, caressing the right spot that would send me over the edge.

"Don't you like my hands on you, Nez?"

I gulped, and I felt my eyes close as his fingers continued to work me. My breath hitched as I bit my lips to keep the moans suppressed, my mind shutting down on me as my own hands gripped on to his fingers. I needed-

No! Focus! Brownies. Warm, hot brownies, freshly baked, melting-

"Don't you like my fingers touching your swollen lips?"

_Oh, damn._

"How sweet they taste when they're wet…so slick." He whispered roughly.

I quickly turned around and smashed my lips to his cold ones. His hands now moved to cup my face. And my hunger for brownies, quickly turned on to Alec, just as he wanted. He was an evil bastard sometimes, I tell you. But that's what I loved about him the most. The animal inside him matched mine. And I couldn't help but feel no guilt over the brownies when I felt his tongue merge with mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, lacing my fingers in her brown-silk hair, tugging roughly. He backed me into the counter next to the oven, picking me up by the waist and placing me on top of it. His mouth never left mine, till finally, I couldn't help but need air. My heart lifted in my chest as his mouth moved to my neck, his sharp teeth gracing across my marble skin, as soon as I felt them touch me, adrenaline rushed through my veins.

Sometimes, when we're in the heat of the moment, much like we were now, I felt kind of aroused by the thought of him biting me. Though, I entertain the thought regularly, I knew better then to ask for it. It was the kiss of death to me, not because Alec would kill me due to his blood lust, I trusted him enough to know he wouldn't, but I knew his venom would stop my heart in seconds. So in other words. I knew I couldn't have it. Which only made me want it more, and felt even more teased than usual.

Basically, it made sex all the more better, not that Alec needed help.

"Tell me, Nez, are you thinking about me being inside you? Or sliding between your thighs, giving those lips a kiss…?" He whispered.

I whimpered at his dirty talk. How dare he, when he knew I had a weakness for it? Okay, so I think every girl would have a weakness for Alec's dirty talk, but still. It was different for me. One dirty word from Alec, and I was already pooling in my panties. My legs wrapped around his waist and I tightened my grip on him. My thighs clenched him hard to keep him in place. Alec smirked knowingly.

"Do you like it when I talk dirty to you, Nez?" he said, his hands roaming up his shirt I was wearing, taking his time as he his fingers messaging my skin as he went. I moaned in his mouth and started to grind my throbbing clit into his hard shaft, moaning harder as I did. His eyes never left mine, never losing contact. His length rubbed against my opening, taking over what I was attempting to do without whimpering like a mad woman.

"Tell me, Nez.."

"Tell you what?" I yelped desperately as his hands cupped my breasts, his thumbs gliding over my nipples, which hardened further beneath his touch.

I arched my back, and my head leaned against the cabinet behind me.

"Tell me you like it. Do you like it, Perla?"

I nodded quickly, as his lips started kissing my breasts, his wet lips memorizing them, as if they were stones from heaven.

"Tell me…" He said, then finally took my nipple in his mouth. Suckling it urgently.

"YES! Yes, I love it, Alec!…God, I love you!"

Alec released my nipple and looked me in the eyes. His eyes suddenly turning from hungry animal to loving and pure, so tender. So sweet that I lost my breath. Sometimes, just the look in the eyes were more sexy then his words. They knocked the air out of me. And made my toes curl. I pulled him closer to me, as if he could get closer then what he was already. And I bit my bottom lip.

"I love you.." I said again. My hands cupping his face, his thumb pulling my bottom lip from my teeth and stroked it. My breath not easing at the least bit.

"Stay with me forever?" He said, his voice low, as he leaned in. His embrace tightened around me. His lips brushing against mine. A tender, sexy, sweet kiss. No kiss between Alec would ever lack fire. Nor passion.

I knew now, more then ever, this was it. This was how my life was going to be everyday forever. Like this.

Not perfect. As life rarely is. But beautiful. Just as Alec was. Just as we were together. If someone had told me I would find what I wanted in the most dangerous vampire in the world, a few months back? I would of thought they were crazy. I would of literally, have tears from the laughter. But now? Now I couldn't imagined my life without him. I don't want to either. Everyone thought I was nuts. I knew that. But when you're in love, you don't care. We sacrificed so much for this. And as I sat here in this condo-counter, I knew every choice I made. Every action, I've done was worth it. Because it all led me to this. Here. With the one thing, I knew I wanted.

No, wait.

What I needed.

"Is that your third question, Alessando?" I smiled as Alec tilted my head by my chin, and kissed me once more.

"Yes."

"Not, what do you desire most? What do you dream about every night?"

"I already know those answers. My questions is…will you be mine forever?"

I closed my eyes and imagined what eternity looked like now that I had him with me.

Fights, kisses, fights, games of Marco Polo, tears, both good and bad, love making anytime, and any place we wanted and more fights.

Could I really handled all that? Could I handle the reality of that forever? With him? I smiled at him, knowing the answer before he even had to ask it. I knew the moment I saw him in that dark alley. When I first saw my Dark Knight. He came to save me that night, and save me he did.

"Always." I said, meaning it with all my heart. Alec then picked me up, giving me hot, wet kisses as we headed to our room. Knowing exactly what we were going to do. And believe me, I locked the door this time. And every time after.

_Alla Fine_

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**Writer's Note: Oh my goodness gracious. *gets out black balloons and sobs into a tissue* This is it, you guys. Those two words we all fear and dread but know they come at some point in time...The End...Yeah, it's the last chapter. Yes, they did live Angstily Ever After. Don't think that just because they got their way they'll never fight again, or have their problems...they will. But at least they'll be together, right?**

**Thank you guys so much for the support you've given us -wow, this feels like we're winning an MTV movie award or something- and we love you all! So sorry for the updates and how crappy we've been with it. It's just writing this so long you start to lose inspiration, so we didn't write as much. Please don't hate us, we weren't doing it on purpose to annoy you. **

**So...okay...a little secret...a confession, if you will...**

**WE STARTED ANOTHER FANFICTION. ANOTHER ALEC AND RENESME FANFICTION AND THE FIRST CHAPTER IS UP AND WE WOULD BE THRILLED IF YOU GUYS CHECKED IT OUT AND OHMYGOSH WE'RE REALLY EXCITED. Okay, so it's a COMPLETELY differant storyline and COMPLETELY differant personalites but we hope you guys like it as you've liked TES. It's called Lost In The Dark. PLEASE READ! At least the first chapter! And tell us what you think.**

***HUGS EVERYONE* This is so emotional..okay. We love you guys. BUT THIS ISN'T THE END! We couldn't have that...that's why we freaking made another fanfiction. Hahaha. Much Love, IITM**


	30. Epilogue: The Knight & The Princess

**********Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings!  
-Cee and Tiff {IITM} [Please read author's note at end of chapter!]  
**

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**Epilogue: The Knight & The Princess**

**Alec's POV**

"Nez…must we really do this?" I complained, looking to what I imagined very pathetic as I pouted.

"It's only for one night, Alec. Jake practically got down on his hands and knees, begging me to do this." Nez replied as we got out of the car.

I slammed my door shut a little too harshly, and I worried I might have damaged the car. But I remembered what I was about to do, and found myself caring very little about it. We made our way up to the Black family's front door. I felt like I was walking to my death.

"Being on all fours is a regular routine for him." I joked. Nez glared at me.

"You're not funny!" She snapped, but a hint of a smile appeared on her lips all the same.

We had been together now for almost nine years. But in my mind, it only felt like nine days. Nez was still as theatric as ever, never making one moment dull. Not that I minded that. I was as happy as I had ever been, living out the rest of my endless days with her.

I showed her the world, or some of it. We traveled to France, like I always wanted. Then to Spain, Japan, Germany, Sweden. Once, we even stopped back in Italy, where I visited with Jane. I didn't dare go to Volterra, though. Jane met us in Tuscany. I couldn't handle the thought of stepping back into that prison. I still thought about it. Quite a bit. I worried that somehow this was all fake, and that any minute I would find myself standing like a statue within that throne room before Aro.

Then I just reminded myself that he was dead.

Yes, the great and powerful Aro, leader of the Volturi. Ashes. A rebellion finally took place, covens from around the world uniting against the Volturi. Even some members within the Volturi turned on their master. Such as Felix, Heidi, and countless others. My sister joined the rebels, to which I was astonished. Never in a million years had I expected Jane to betray Aro. When I asked her about it, she told me that when Aro had intentions of killing me, she lost all the respect she had built for him in the decades she served him.

I couldn't help but feel proud.

The Denali coven and Adeline fought the Volturi as well. And while Felix, my sister, and Demetri survived, Adeline, Heidi, and one member of the Denali coven did not.

The death of Addie was a shock. I knew why she fought the Volturi. They killed her family the same day they transformed me into a vampire. One part of me grieved her, the part that knew her as a human, the girl I grew up with. But it was her choice, and she did die for a cause. I had to respect her, not only for her bravery, but for what she did for Renesmee and me.

As for Heidi, well, it hurt. We were never particularly close, but I had known her for centuries. She was an extended sister to me, as Felix was a brother. Others I knew had died as well, and for days after the battle had ended, I couldn't get over the shock.

But Aro was gone. At least Aro was gone. I didn't know who had the privilege of killing him, but I wanted to shake their hand, whoever it was. No one knows what happened to Caius. Some report they saw him flee, others say they killed him. As of now, Marcus is in charge of Volturi matters, but he does not reside in Volterra. I didn't blame him for not staying.

Jane still remained in Volterra with the remaining guard. I told her to move on, to be free. But she said she knew nothing else. I hope someday she'll come to her senses and leave. No one is stopping her.

With there being no fear of Aro ever returning to haunt us, Nez and I have been allowed to travel around without glancing over our shoulders. It's been heaven.

Until now.

The Cullens had moved from Forks after all, and they now resided in Chicago, the place Edward grew up as a human. Jacob and Leah decided to stay in La Push, however. They wanted to raise their family where they had both been raised. While on our visit to them, Jacob had requested that Nez baby-sit the pups for one night. Apparently, he and the missus wanted to spend the night in a hotel, getting away for a while. The reasoning's made me shudder. Anyways, Nez dragged me along, saying there was no way I wasn't in this with her.

"You owe me _so_ much for this, _Perla_." I said lowly as she knocked on the front door. She giggled.

"Can't wait.." She purred in my ear, setting me on edge.

She always did this. Always chose the completely wrong time to send impure thoughts through my brain…and through my body. When we were in public was her favorite time to tease me, wondering if I would snap and take her somewhere private to take pleasure in her body. Sometimes, on very rare occasions, I could resist her. But, sadly, ninety-nine percent of the time, she won. And I had no objections to it. The process of seeing her try to remain quiet (and failing) was very gratifying. Like, for example, this one incident where we were in a dressing room. She attempted to use her hand to cover her mouth, masking her cries the best she could.

Let's just say I had relocated her hand to a more suitable place, resulting in louder cries from her, and self satisfaction from me. I honestly didn't care if people heard. I had spent way too much time in my life trying to be discreet.

But, tempting me on Jacob Black's doorstep was really not the best of times, I didn't think. Especially not when I knew that I wouldn't be able to do anything about it for the next several hours. Not when we were going to be watching over children.

"Hmm.." I wrapped my arm around her waist as we waited for someone to come to the door.

I could hear them inside. All three of them. The twins, Ava and Elijah, who were eight. And damned if that wasn't enough for Jake. They had another four years later. Sarah. She, in my opinion, was the most tolerable. She was sweet. Elijah and Ava on the other hand…

"HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE!" I heard Ava scream from inside, running towards the door.

"Nez…" I whined, dreading of what would happen next. See, Ava…sort of had this little infatuation with me. It was uncomfortable and slightly disturbing. Not to mention annoying.

"Oh, be nice. She'll grow out of it.." Nez whispered.

Just then, the door swung open, and there she stood, staring up at me with those big, black eyes for hers. Black eyes, black hair, the rich tanned skin they all contained. She, to me, was the one who shared an equal ratio of both her parents features. While Elijah was the imagine of his father, and Sarah was exactly like her mother.

"Hi, Alec!" She grinned, barley glancing over at Nez. "Oh, hey, Nessie." I cringed. But of course Jacob had to instruct them to call her Nessie. It really couldn't be helped, I guess.

"Ava, you got taller!" Exclaimed Nez.

Ava nodded, like this was extremely old news.

"Yeah, two inches."

"Hello, Ava.." I forced a smile. "How are you?"

"Oh, you know.." She smiled and tossed her black hair over her shoulder, and I coughed to disguise a laugh. This eight year old was flirting with me. I didn't quite know how to handle this.

Jacob appeared in the doorway behind Ava, smiling widely.

"Hey, Ness!" He greeted excitedly. "Come on in. Ava, move outta the way, hon." He scooted Ava aside, making room of us to enter. She still had her gaze locked on me.

"Hey, Jake!" Nez squealed, stepping up to hug him.

"Jacob," I nodded. He returned the gesture. This was about the extent of our blooming relationship.

"Thanks again for this. You have no idea.." Jacob shook his head, releasing Nez from his hug. We all stepped inside their house, and I stood awkwardly. This was, after all, her family.

"It's not a problem. I missed these guys anyways," Nez said.

"They missed you too. Keep asking where you are. I tell them somewhere on the other side of the world. You should see their faces. You might as well be on the moon or something." He chuckled to himself, recalling the memories. I guess you had to be there.

"Aww." She laughed, then looked at me. "Oh, don't let me forget to get their presents out of the car later, okay?"

"Okay."

"Oh jeez, you got them presents? Now they're really going to be asking where you are when you're gone. You're spoiling them, Nessie." He grinned.

"Hey, it's my job to spoil them." Nez replied sternly.

Little thumping footsteps grew closer. I smiled upon seeing her. Sarah, a lollipop in hand. She stared up at the two of us, smiling bashfully.

"Sarah!" Nez cried, scooping her up in her arms. Sarah giggled, wrapping her little arms around Nez's neck. "How are you doing?"

"_Guuuuud._" Sarah answered, peeking over at me. "Hewo, Unca' Awec."

"Hey, you. Has your brother gotten any nicer to you since last time we visited?"

"Heck no!" Said the loud yet small voice that I knew belonged to Elijah from behind. I turned around, chuckling lightly. He had a Spiderman shirt on, and he stood with his hands in his pockets, as if trying to look older.

"Uh, hey, Nessie." He blushed upon looking at Nez. Just as Ava seemed to have a crush on me, Elijah was head over heels for my woman. Who he claimed was his woman. Or, in his words, would someday be his woman. "I got a new game for my X-box!" He bragged randomly.

"Oh, yeah?" Nez inquired.

"Uh huh. It's-"

"Oh, who _cares_!" Ava interrupted, throwing her hands up in the air. "The game is stupid, Nessie. You wouldn't like it."

"_Yeeaaaaah!"_ Agreed Sarah in a small voice.

"Be nice!" Leah snapped, coming into view. She had a suitcase in hand, and a scowl on her face. Ah, Leah. It never failed, did it? I didn't know her, and I seldom saw her. Nevertheless, every single time I did see her, she had a sharpness about her. Maybe that was only because she didn't like either me or Nez. Or maybe she was like that all the time…I never thought I could ever feel sorry for Jacob Black, but in that moment, I did.

"I was just saying." Ava said defensively, making a face at Elijah. He stuck his tongue back out at her.

I grabbed Nez's hand, already dreading the next twenty-four hours alone with these…little people. We'd been here two minutes and they were already bickering. Honestly, why would she torture me this way? I had treated her good. Very good, in fact. I didn't deserve this!

She looked over at me with those giant brown eyes, a small smile playing at her lips. Damn it, we both we she had me by the balls. She was heartless, this one. Worst part, I didn't care. I was so whipped. Had I always been this pliable in her hands?

Yes. Very much so.

"Renesmee, Alec…" Leah greeted, forcing a smile on her lips.

I had to admit, I was shocked that Leah and Jacob trusted me enough to be around their children. A _vampire_ that up until a few years ago, fed on humans. Now, I never did adopt the animal diet. I would have, but Nez forbade me from doing so. She preferred my red eyes, and said that if I had topaz eyes, it would remind her of her family. I asked why that was such a bad thing, since she loved her family as much as she did.

'_Alec, as much as I love them, I don't want to see their eyes when I look at you.'_ She had told me. Who was I to argue with her?

Instead, I lived off of donated blood from hospitals. It was difficult at first, I wouldn't lie. However, it got easier. Nez favored both methods. She hunted animals when she could, and used the bagged blood when we weren't in a area suitable for animal life.

Anyways, Nez must have assured Jacob that nothing of the sort would happen.

"Hey, Leah." Nez smiled genuinely, unlike Leah's fake smile. Was Leah seriously still threatened by Renesmee? After all these years? Pathetic. She needed to let it go. Yeah, Jacob imprinted on Nez. I wasn't happy about it either. But life moved on. Wasn't her three children and happy marriage to Jacob enough to convince her that he wasn't going to run off with Nez? Like that would ever happen.

"Okay, I have everything packed?" Leah said to Jacob, handing him the suitcase she was carrying.

"I'll go put this in the car."

While Jacob moved past us and out of the house, Leah was starting to say her goodbyes to the children. She didn't waste any time, did she? Was she that eager to leave? Damn, how long had Jacob been neglecting his duties as husband?

"Now, remember to behave. If I hear that you didn't, you're-"

"Yeah, yeah. You'll make us go over to Grandpa's house and we'll have to listen to his _BORING _story of Taha Aki and The Third Wife . We know the drill, Mom!" Elijah said coolly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Are you using a tone, young man?" Leah asked calmly, raising one of her slender eyebrows.

Elijah's eyes widened with fear.

"No, Mama."

Ava laughed, putting her hand on her hip.

"'_No, Mama..'"_ She mimicked. Elijah went in to hit her on the arm when Jacob came back in, clapping his hands together loudly.

"Alright! Nessie, you hungry? I can make us some sandwiches before we-"

"I'm sure Renesmee knows her way around our kitchen, Jake." Now Leah was sounding desperate. I hid a smile.

"Dada, do you haive to gow?" Sarah asked from Nez's arms, looking like she was on the verge of tears.

"Aw, Sarah…it's just for one night." Jacob said in a soothing tone, taking her from Nez. Sarah clung to him. "Besides, you're going to have a lot of fun. Right?" He gave Nez a look.

"Oh, yeah! We're going to have a pajama party and everything." Nez said enthusiastically.

Pajama party? I heard nothing of a pajama party up until now. I assumed she knew that I would not be participating in this. I had no use to wear pajamas. I had no pajamas!

"Yeah?" Sarah asked, a small tear running down her pink, chubby cheek.

"Yeah! And we'll watch movies, make popcorn, play games…" She went on and on.

Oh, joy.

Leah kissed both Ava and Elijah, hugging them to the point of suffocation, in my opinion. She took the weeping Sarah from Jacob, giving the same amount of affection to her.

Jacob did the same with the twins, and after a little more small talk, they were on their way out of the house. Leaving us alone with the infants.

"Hey, dude…_dude_!" Said the demanding whisper, followed by a jab in my hip. I suppressed a growl. Looking down, I saw Elijah curl his finger at me, indicating to bend down. I did so, unsure of what he was trying to do.

"Yes?"

"C'mon, I'll show you where I hide the stash!." He said in a low voice, like this was classified information. What the hell was he talking about?

"The what?"

"The _root beer_, duh! The parentals wont let me drink it normally, but I sneaked some in a while back from Uncle Paul. I hid the cans under my bed…" He looked around hastily, making sure only the two of us were in on this. "I've been saving them for the right moment."

Was this kid serious?

Thankfully, I had been accustomed to human beverages while living with Nez, so I knew what root beer was. However, I was a little confused as to why Elijah's parents wouldn't let him drink it. It had no alcohol in it, to my knowledge. Why did he have to hide it? The poor child was so excited he could barely contain himself.

"Okay…well go drink it then." I encouraged him.

"You want some?" He asked eagerly.

I was under the impression that Jacob's children knew about vampires. While it seemed risky to me, after being with the Volturi for years, it was really none of my business. They also knew about their…heritage, I should say. Shapes-shifters. Nez told me that Jacob and Leah were the first in a all long time to tell their children about the legends before they started…what was the term, phasing. I suppose they thought if they could handle knowing about shape-shifters, they could handle vampires. Obviously Elijah didn't know, however, that vampires couldn't obtain a human's variety of food.

"No, thanks. Not really a fan.."

He gasped, taking what I said for blasphemy. He then shook his head to himself, turned around and walked away, his shoulders slouched.

Strange child.

I walked to the living room, where I found Nez, Ava, and Sarah.

Ava was showing Nez her movie collection, and Sarah was still enjoying her lollipop, sitting on the sofa. I sat next to the little girl. Sarah smiled up at me, sticky sugar all over her face. I chuckled, but froze when she decided to crawl up on my lap. She giggled, an innocent, sweet sound. I relaxed a little. There was nothing to be afraid of. She was a little person…but also very fragile. One wrong move and I seriously hurt her. No pressure.

"Um…Nez?" My voice was high, desperate.

She turned around, took one look at Sarah on my lap, and melted. "Aw! She loves you!"

Ava, on the other hand, was glaring at her sister as though Sarah had stolen something precious and vital to her. I instinctively wrapped one arm around the child, unsure of what Ava was going to do.

I think this only made Ava more angry. She huffed, threw down whatever movie she was showing Nez, and stomped out of the room.

"Is she…quite sane?" I inquired. Nez smiled, then shrugged.

"She just has a big crush on you," she said, and sat down next to me. Sarah stayed on my lap.

"Ava is _meeeaaaan_!" Sarah wailed, then stuck what was left of the lollipop back in her mouth. I nodded in agreement. Nez hit me lightly.

"She'll grow out of it," she insisted, protective of the girl whom she considered a niece. I tried to look as though I agreed.

"Sure she will…or, she might just get worse."

Nez sighed.

The afternoon turned to night. The kids and Nez playes a game called Twister, which was quite amusing. I secretly wish it were just Nez and I playing it. I'd have to buy one just for the two of us one of these days. We had watched two animated movies. I have long forgotten what they were called. But one consisted of a lot of dogs, and the other cats. I think Ava pulled out one at some point and it was about _both_ cats and dogs, but it was, mercifully, at that point that Nez told them to get into their pajamas.

I would take a pajama party over another movie about talking animals.

Until Nez shoved a pair of sleep pants and a tee shirt at me. "Here, go change!" She sounded so excited. I complained, groaned, and went to change. She must have bought these recently. The pajama pants were black and red. So at least the color scheme fit me. They were striped, which I wasn't too keen on. But beggars couldn't be choosers. She even had some black slippers for me.

When I walked out into the living room, I saw that sleeping bags had been set up not only for the children, but for Renesmee and I as well. Nez was sitting on hers, ordering pizza over the phone. She wore purple checkered sleep pants, a purple tank top, and a purple silky robe over it. She loved planning her outfits with care. I really didn't prefer her to wear anything, but if she enjoyed it, why not?

Ava wore a pink pajama set with an electric guitar on her long sleeved shirt. Elijah wore a set with a sponge with a face on it. I think the logo said _SpongeBobSquarePants_ on it. And little Sarah had on a white pajama set with colorful bows adorning it.

Elijah was chugging a can of root beer, and already reaching for another.

"Yeah, one large pepperoni. And cheese sticks, please."

"Mom never orders pizza. This is _awesome_!" Elijah exclaimed, then belched loudly, no doubt from the high quantities of root beet he'd been consuming. I had to laugh. I sat down on the floor on my designated sleeping back.

Once the pizza had arrived, Nez and the kids ate. I watched, almost wishing I could try a bit. But the outcome was too disgusting. I'd tried, a long time ago, to consume human food. The result was, ironically so, very human indeed. I puked.

They all have ice-cream and cookies for dessert, and after a long while, Renesmee told them to all climb into their sleeping bags. Which meant we were to climb into them as well. "We're not to remain here bored all night, are we?" I asked as they climbed in, complaining a great deal. "You haven't forgotten that I can't sleep, have you?"

"No," she laughed, going to turn off the living room light. It was dark then, except for the little light that was above the kitchen stove.

"Ooooh, let's tell stories!" Ava said from her sleeping back.

"Yeah, ghost stories!" Elijah said.

"Nooo!" Sarah protested.

"Don't be a baby. Okay…how about this. There once was a transformer, called Bumblebee-"

"_No. _I have it. Elijah, let's tell them the story, The Princess and The Knight!"

"What's that?" Nez inquired.

"No way! That's a girly story. You tell it. I'm going to sleep." Elijah said bitterly, closing his eyes and pretending to snore.

"It's a story Daddy has told all of us. You want to hear it?" Ava asked, looking at me for a response.

"Uh, sure. Why not?" I said, laying back on my pillow.

This should be interesting.

Nez giggled, and held my hand.

Ava cleared her throat loudly, sitting up on her sleeping back. And, in the most dramatic voice possible, began:

"_ONCE upon a time_…." She paused, and Elijah snored loudly. Sarah and Nez giggled. "There was a beautiful princess, who lived deep in the rain forest. She was loved a lot by anyone who met her. And one day, she was told she had to marry the Joker!"

"The joker?" Nez asked, her voice amused. "Like, the court jester?"

"Something like that. Anyway," she sighed. "The princess didn't want to marry the joker. She didn't love the joker that way. So, she ran away! Far, far away."

I felt my brow furrow. But I shook my head, and listened on.

"She went to another kingdom. The kingdom of The People Eaters!"

Now, I looked at Renesmee. She looked back at me, her face scrunched in confusion. Okay, so I wasn't the only one feeling a sense of familiarity.

"The people eaters?" I heard myself ask.

"Yes, the people eaters. A very mean people, with gross skin and smelly breath."

I rolled my eyes. Thanks, Jacob.

"That's not how he said it. They had GREEN skin, with scales like lizards!" Elijah interjected, then went back to snoring.

"Whatever. Anyway. The King of the People Eaters wanted the princess to stay at his palace forever, so he appointed a handsome knight to make the princess fall madly in love with him."

"Handsome? I thought they were all ugly," I said bitterly, and Nez laughed quietly beside me.

"Not this People Eater. He was very handsome."

"_Yeeeaah!" _Ava agreed.

"Anyway, the Knight and the Princess fell in love, and went off together on a really big boat-"

"Oh, jeez." Nez shook her head. "I'm going to kill Jacob for this," she muttered, too low for any of them to hear.

"And the knight gave her a beautiful necklace. A magical necklace. A necklace that would bring him back to her, if they were ever to be away from each other."

I shifted. This story was bringing up memories I'd rather not think about. Nez squeezed my hand. She smiled a little.

"When they got back to the kingdom, King People Eater told the princess all about his plan to keep her forever! The princess cried, and went back home to the Joker. But…she still _had_ her magical necklace."

I remember when I gave Nez that necklace on that yacht. It was night, and the scars were painting the black sky of Italy. We were kissing each other like the world might end the next day. In a sense, I guess it did. I smiled at the memory of when she felt the box that had the necklace in it in my pocket.

'_Please tell me that's not what I think it is…'_

To which I replied:

'_You missed, that's my pocket.'_

I chuckled aloud, and Nez looked at me, puzzled. Her own expression somber. I could tell she wasn't enjoying the story either.

I kissed her cheek, and she relaxed a little.

"Uh, HELLO? Are you people listening?" Ava snapped. I rolled my eyes. "Anyway. The Joker felt so bad for the princess. He didn't mind anymore that she didn't want to marry him, because he didn't really want to marry her anymore either." What a relief that was. "The princess was so sad for like…months. She cried everyday, but never took off the magic necklace."

"Sad story.." Sarah sniffed.

"Wait, Sarah. You know the ending is the best," Ava went on. "Dang, I spoiled it! Oh well. So, basically…the handsome knight found the princess! Deep, deep in the rain forest. He swept her off her feet, kissed her-"

"Ew, gross." Elijah muttered."

"And then the princess pushed him!"

"That's more like it!" Elijah said loudly.

That memory was another that stood out. The night I had arrived in Forks, to beg her for forgiveness. She'd been hunting in the middle of the night. And I had distracted her from feeding. She was beautiful. But so lethal. Like a prowling lioness in heat. She had pounced on me, quite literally. To this day, she'll say she didn't comprehend it was really me at first. Renesmee had claimed me, marked me as hers that night. Even if she didn't realize what she was doing. Then, she did kind of push me in a sense. Pushed me _away._

"But when the knight took hold of her necklace, she remembered that the necklace was magical. For the necklace would only lead him to her if he _really_ loved her. The knight left King People Eater, and the two of them lived happily ever after."

"…Your dad told you that story?" Nez asked, her voice stunned.

"Uh-huh. Lots of times. Right, Sarah?"

"_Yeeeeaaah!"_

"Well, it's pretty stupid to me." Elijah sat up at last. "There needs to be some fighting in it! Some blood!"

"Oh, there was blood," I said dryly, and laughed at my own private joke.

"How do you know?" Ava asked, looking at me straight in the eye.

"Intuition," I said.

"What's that mean?" Elijah asked.

"I just have a hunch, that's all."

"I can't believe he told you guys that!" Nez exclaimed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Why not? It's just a story…" Ava's eyes sparkled. "Unless it's not just a story."

"What do you mean?" Nez asked.

"It's about _you two_, isn't it?" Ava looked triumphant. A big grin was on her face, and her arms were crossed over her chest. "You're the princess!" She pointed to Nez. "And you're the knight!" She pointed at me, then blushed.

"No way, dude. No.." Elijah shook his head.

Renesmee only smiled sheepishly. I shrugged.

Ava crawled over in front of Nez, and pointed to the necklace I had given her. She gasped. "The magic necklace…" She whispered. I fought laughter. "Can…can I touch it?" Her eyes were wide with excitement.

Nez laughed, and opened up the seashell necklace to show Ava the little pearl tucked inside. "Go ahead."

Ava reached out and touched the small pearl, her mouth the shape of an O.

"Wow…it's so pretty." She sat back.

Elijah was still in shock. "Whoa..whoa…" He looked at me. "You're from the Kingdom of People Eaters? I mean, I know you're like…a vamp and all, but…whoa."

I grinned. "That's right. Which makes your dad the Joker."

All three of them gasped.

"EWWW! Dad wanted to marry AUNT NESSIE!? What about MOM!?" Ava yelled, standing up in outrage. "That is so gross."

I nodded.

"That was before he married your mom. It was a long time ago." Nez reasoned, looking amused.

"Dude…nasty." Elijah muttered. "I'm getting more root beer…I need to think." He got up and walked from the room. Poor kid. I couldn't blame him. It was a lot to take in.

"How dare he want to marry anyone but Mom?" Ava said, her arms still crossed.

"He was…confused.." Nez said awkwardly. I scoffed. Confused, really? He Imprinted on her. But I guessed that was something to explain to the kids another time. They would be way too disturbed and confused to hear it now. I was too disturbed to hear it, and I was over three hundred years old.

"The important thing is that everyone is who they're suppose to be with now. And we're all…living happily ever after." She laughed.

Elijah came back in with another can of soda. "Whatever. I'm going to pretend I never heard about any of this. I'm going to sleep now, for reals. Goodnight, Aunt Nessie." He came over and hugged her tight. He nodded at me. "Goodnight, People Eater."

I smiled. "Goodnight, kid."

He crawled in his sleeping bag, and turned away from us. This time, I think he was snoring for real.

Sarah had fallen asleep as well, with her thumb tucked inside her mouth. Only Ava sat up, looking extremely put out.

"So, it's all true? You ran away from here because he wanted to marry you?"

Nez nodded slowly.

"Where did you go?"

"Italy," she said, then looked at me. "And what's weird, is when I first saw Alec, I thought he was like a knight, coming to my rescue."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?"

She nodded again. "Yeah."

_Ironically, though, I also thought that anyone would look like a knight coming to save me. Even Leah Clearwater. Now her daughter it retelling the tale to us. _She thought, sending them my way. My hand on her squeezed, and I smiled.

"And the bad king?" Ava asked.

"He's gone now," I said, "and he's never coming back. He can't hurt anyone anymore."

Ava sighed in relief. "That's good…well…I'm tired. Goodnight." No hugs were given from Ava. I think she was disappointed that she finally had reason to suspect that I really was off limits to her. Like Nez said, she'd grow out of it. I couldn't help feeling a little bad for her though.

"Goodnight, Ava.." I said, and she turned, looked at me, blushed, and rolled over.

Me and Nez sat there until we were sure all three of them were sound asleep. Then, we slipped off onto the front porch, sitting on the steps.

"That was weird," she said. "having Ava tell us our story…well, the shortened version, anyway."

I smirked. "The rated PG version."

She laughed, and looked at me. "We're R material, huh?"

"I'm afraid so.." I leaned closer, close enough that our noses brushed against each other. "Or unrated." I whispered.

She brushed her lips against mine, teasing me. "Not tonight, though."

I groaned, and nipped at her bottom lip. "You still owe me," I muttered.

She pulled back, raked a hand through my hair, and said:

"I know." She leaned her head on my shoulder, staring at the forest. She giggled. "Magical necklace. You never told me it was magical." She laughed even harder. "King of the People Eaters!" She slapped her knee. "I'll never think of Aro in quite the same light again. And Jacob, naming himself the Joker…"

"He was very thorough.."

"Oh, don't be so mean…" she chastised. "Admit it, you've had fun tonight."

I shook my head. "I'll to no such thing."

She arched an eyebrow, testing me. "You're a softie. Those kids are growing on you, aren't they?"

I sighed loudly. "Maybe…a little."

Nez smiled, then the smile fell a little.

"What's wrong?" I asked, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

She shrugged. "Do you ever wish…ever wonder what it would have been like, if I could have a baby?"

I froze. The one time we'd discussed this, she had played a terrible joke on me, convincing me that she might have been pregnant. The idea had been a terrible one. The thought of bringing a child into this world that belonged to me. I thought I would have made a terrible father. But that was then, when I was bound to the Volturi. Now…that it was just us, years later?

"Do you?" I asked, choosing my words carefully.

"Sometimes," she admitted. "Sometimes I wonder if it's possible. But…after eight years of us together, and I've never gotten pregnant…" She sighed, and looked down. "I don't know. I just wonder about it, that's all. And get kind of depressed when I do…am I insane?" She looked up at me, her big brown eyes locking onto mine.

"No.." I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her. "And I'm sorry…that I can't give you a baby." I felt helpless. To be honest, I hadn't thought about having babies at all. She was more than enough for me, and things were perfect as they were in my eyes.

But she was a woman. She had natural maternal instincts in her that I couldn't understand. And it broke my heart to think she felt as though something were missing.

"Alec, it's not your fault. It's what _I _am. If I were human…then we could. Like my parents did. But being that I don't age at all…" She sighed. "I'll be okay. And it's not like I feel like this all the time. Just sometimes."

I kissed the top of her head, feeling like someone had punched me in the gut.

"What can I do? To help make it pass?" I asked, desperate. "Ask me something…anything."

She pulled back and grinned. She knew the reference immediately. It had been a couple of days after she had arrived in Volterra, and we were both in her bedroom. My former coven had started to feed on a group of tourists in the throne room, and Nez couldn't handle it. I had wanted to do something- _anything_ to help distract her. So I told her to ask me anything. Since I had been a big mystery to her back in those days, she couldn't pass it up.

'_Ahh! Uh- Okay, I'll go along. Um, what's your favorite color?'_

'_I don't know…red.'_

_"Red? As in…blood red? What's wrong with you? Why can't you just pick-"_

'_Okay! Okay, black? Blacks a good color!'_

'_Black is not a color, it's a shade.'_

'_Damn it, is there no pleasing you, woman?! Ask another question I can give you the right answer to!'_

We both laughed at the memory.

"Ask you anything?" She repeated.

I nodded. "Anything."

"Do you ever miss bring human? You could have had kids then…" She sounded sad again. I took her chin in my hand and made her look at me.

"Kids with Addie? Are you nuts?"

She smiled, then laughed. "Besides her. Do you miss anything else?"

I shook my head. "I certainly don't miss my parents." They were still a sore topic. "I don't miss getting sick. I have everything I need as a vampire. I have my sister…even if Jane is difficult. I have a new family.." Her face glowed when I said that. "I have you. So, no….I don't miss being human."

"I love you, you know.." She whispered.

I kissed her softly, leaning my forehead against hers.

"I know…_Ti amo, Perla…"_

* * *

**Writer's Note: WOW! This is so exciting! I know it's been a couple of years since TES ended. And we've had this Epilogue idea even before we ended the story. I (This is Cee, btw) have been working on this for quite a while now, and finally had the inspiration to finish it! It seemed like a cute idea, bringing in Jake's kids for the epilogue.**

**Thank you to all who have read and reviewed this story. It will always hold a special place in our hearts! :)  
Sorry for any grammar mistakes. I didn't proof read it or anything.**

Love you guys!  
-IITM


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